Friday, March 12, 2010

BSNYC Quiz-pocalypse Now!

If you're a cycling fan, it can be tempting to want to own a piece of the sport's history. For example, some people get very excited about owning bicycles that once belonged to professional racers. Personally, I feel like owning a bicycle that once belonged to a famous pro is about as exciting as owning a swivel chair that once belonged to Warren Buffett--it's simply something someone once used to sit on in order to do his job, and while you can transfer possessions from one person to another, you cannot transfer greatness.

However, there is a limit to what even the most dedicated cycling fan will buy, and while they may be willing to pay top dollar for a famous bicycle they are apparently somewhat less inclined to spend a lot on an actual seat. Consider this auction for a saddle once owned by 2009 Tour de France King of the Mountains competition winner Franco Pellizotti, which was forwarded to me by a reader:

As you can see, the auction has ended, and even though obtaining the coveted Maillot à Pois is a significant sporting accomplishment the saddle has only managed to bring in a paltry $52--which is about what you'd expect an ordinary schmuck-owned Arione to fetch. Of course, this could have less to do with a lack of interest in owning things that were once in close proximity to Pellizotti's taint and more to do with the saddle's dubious provenance:


This Fizik Arione was used by the 2009 Tour de France "King of the Mountains" winner, Franco Pellizotti! Now, there is no proof other than that my friend who aquired this saddle was one the Cannondale Liquigas mechanics, said so... Nonetheless, it's a great saddle!

When you're buying a piece of sports memorabilia as significant of this, you want a certificate of crotchal authenticity and not just the old "my friend who" story. Incidentally, if the story is indeed true, I find it distrubing that pro team mechanics are pilfering saddles and distributing them to friends eager to revel in the ass sweat-soaked glory of another. Really, it's only slightly better than raiding their laundry hampers for used underwear.

But while the anticlimactic ending of that auction didn't surprise me, I was stunned to find out that absolutely nobody bid on Bob Roll's old suitcase, as you can see from this auction to which I was alerted (alas, too late) by the proprietor of Cycling Inquisition:

This just goes to prove how short-sighted cycling fans can be. When you buy something like this, you're not just paying for the item itself--you're also buying what's inside. And in this case, what's crammed into it is not only over 20 years of cycling history, but also at least 20 pounds of "Wednesday Weed:"

That's not a "suitcase of courage;" that's just a suitcase of extreme relaxation. You'd think this guy would have swooped in at the end.

Speaking of relaxation, the weekend is nearly upon us, and before it is I am pleased to serve as your proctor and administer a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you're right, and if you're wrong you're going to see this sick "edit" featuring the butt-blasting Pumgo.

Thanks for reading, ride safe, and if Bob Roll's suitcase pops up again, bid aggressively.

--BSNYC/RTMS




1) To make coffee, Blue Bottle in Williamsburg employs:



(Yet another nonplussed journalist)

2) Which of the following did a New York Post reporter not encounter while testing out automated Internet cycling directions?

--Angry motorists
--Treacherous roads
--Bike-hating Jews
--Bloodthirsty hawks





3) "Bicycle culture" proponent Michael Colville-Andersen enjoyed that Mercedes-against-messenger commercial:

--True
--False





4) How come Mercedes-racing celebri-messenger Austin Horse got his stolen property back after "Tweeting" about it but ornery blogger Bike Snob NYC did not?






5) What has taken bicycle manufacturer Giant by surprise?

--29er sales
--Fixed-gear sales




6) How much for that Cervélo lighter-than-milk "Project California" road frame?

--US$9,600
--EUR9,600





7) What is this?




***Special Professional Cyclist Peer Review-Themed Bonus Question***

(The forefinger is suggestive enough, but it's the thumb that really makes you wonder.)

Jens Voigt was recently impressed by Alberto Contador's __________:


80 comments:

Anonymous said...

1st!

Monty said...

Podium!

Anonymous said...

Podium?

d. fofonov said...

Same time.

Babushka is saying fuck you to right-winging bastards.

Charles said...

Top 5?

Anonymous said...

Five-th?

should be working said...

Top 10?

Anonymous said...

Guess not...pipped at the line for the bunch sprint...

DogShot said...

Top 10?

ringcycles said...

Top 10?

DogShot said...

Indeed. Nice milk jugs?

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

andy!

Anonymous said...

Dedo Dedo Dedo

Venga! Venga! Venga!

OBA said...

Insane in the membrane

ringcycles said...

the Pumgo, wow, I didn't think you could make a dorkier Segway. Thank goodness for american ingenuity.

shoegazer said...

cigarette in your bed

Bad Lawyer said...

top twenty!

Yokota Fritz said...

I carried a box that Victoria Principle once sat on. I know it's true because the complete stranger who handed it to me told me so. Should I have kept that box to sell on Ebay?

Anonymous said...

Damn, you just got called a "posturing idiot" by BoingBoing's Teresa Nielsen Hayden. Ooooo! You going to take that, Snobby? Maybe you two publishing-industry professionals can have a cycling duel, or resolve this amicably? At the very least, you could sign into BB and give her the what-for!

http://www.boingboing.net/2010/03/11/googles-bike-maps-fi.html#comment-733845

Anonymous said...

Impressive milk mounds.
Could clean them on my 29'er.
A 26....no way, dude.

hillbilly said...

have a good weekend yall

Thomas said...

Top 25?

Anonymous said...

MILK TITS

Somebody had to do it.

T.N.H. said...

I'd tell you to suck my dick if I had one.

Anonymous said...

7-EL EVEN

SUIT CASE

BOOB BOOB

leroy said...

Only one wrong. Clearly, I'm studying too hard.

Have you ever read a blog about sexy bikes, gotten that "I'm too sexy for my shirt" song stuck in your head only with the word "bike," instead of "shirt" and then realized "oh dear, I'm not"?

 Oh well, at least I'm too sexy for my shirt.  But it's not much of a shirt.

 Ride safe all.  And if you are riding in Brooklyn, I suggest one of those pedal powered boats they rent on the pond in Prospect Park.  Could be flooding.

sufferist said...

I got 6 right, not too bad. That's just about where I finish in the pack too. Harumphhhh..... Enjoy your weekend y'all. (y'all -- that's southern for you'ens)

mikeweb said...

"The horror... the horror..."

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:24pm,

Ha! The best part is she then goes on to say exactly what I did in the post.

--BSNYC

ant1 said...

wait, is Teresa Nielsen Hayden a moron?
someone posts this:
"As BikeSnobNYC points out, just like the driving directions, providing information doesn't mean you get to turn off your brain."

and she replies this:
"Then BikeSnobNYC is a posturing idiot. You don't last five minutes on a bicycle in NYC if you've got your brain switched off, no matter how you work out your routes."

do people not know how to read anymore?

mikeweb said...

4 right - meh-tastic.

Have a great weekend everyone and stay dryer than milk!

Anonymous said...

Unfortunate choice of words, when describing a beer “inspired by the energy and audacity of the fearless fixed gear courier.”:

“Lakefront ran smack into this arresting creation”


http://tinyurl.com/ybafzq2

Udder said...

ant1 said:

"do people not know how to read anymore?"

I'm afraid they do not. The greatest crisis in this country isn't the economy or health care, it's the lost art (or science) of comprehension.

Anonymous said...

I think she can read, but that retort is more of a prepared diatribe/quip she had in her back pocket. she just flung it out there when she heard snobber mentioned. I think it is a quaint insult, if only she had known of the countless boob and stuff...she might really get in a fluster.

ken e. said...

BNGB NGFL
MISS UNDR
MILK STND

WEED CASE
VANC RAIN

ervgopwr said...

PSTRG IDIOT
(including the thumbs)
SNOB ISNT

Anonymous said...

FUNK WHIZ

Anonymous said...

FUNK WHIZ:

ASPR EGUS?

frilly said...

MILK DUDS

Seriously?

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

Anonymous said...

ASPR EGUS:

ASBE STOS

Anonymous said...

ASBE STOS:

NEW CRAB
ONFI BRE?

flynn said...

I've got a used packet of Mario Cipollini's Chamois Butter if anyone is interested in buying. I think he used it for his hair rather than his taint though, so I'll knock off $10.

Anonymous said...

Woa, is that Teresa Nielsen Hayden telling you to suck her non-existent dick, Snobby? How rude!

grog said...

FUNK WIZZ 100%
I would bid on a saddle once used by frilly.
Udder, the lost art is critical thinking, the lost science is comprehension.

RIDE NICE

Ronsonic said...

Ant1 asks "do people not know how to read anymore?"

Uh, no. No they don't. Especially on the internets. It seems getting pissy with someone is usually a higher priority than arguing with someone who actually disagrees with you.

flynn said...

I'm also selling a rag Teresa Nielsen Hayden used to polish her Hugo Award before she assaulted snob with it

frilly said...

grog--you better hang on tight cuz I'm a big fan of chamois butter.

UBER LUBE

CommieCanuck said...

I've got a used packet of Mario Cipollini's Chamois Butter if anyone is interested in buying.

Dude, it ain't chamois butter, Cipo was famous for handing out those "packets" to the ladies in his Protour days.

euu.

CommieCanuck said...

NUTB UTTA

frilly said...

But I have ladybits.

AYHSMB=null and void

CommieCanuck said...

CIPO SPLG

Anonymous said...

Question 1: "Fiiiive Gooooold Rrrrings."

leroy said...

I thought riding for five minutes with your brain switched off was called interval training.

Oh well, live and learn -- at least for five minutes.

Austin Horse said...

I didn't want to ride on the sidewalk.

migs said...

@austin horse, i like when you closed the door on the car, i've done that before, more in panic than on purpose, but it felt nice, can some one explain to me the bob roll-weed reference, i know bikesnob is a fellow heady-enthusiast, but im not following the 20lbs of weed in the suitcase joke. have a safe weekend, lobster bless.

Anonymous said...

NUMB NUTZ

Craig Calfee said...

59th!!!

ringcycles said...

forget Bob Roll's suitcase. I'm waiting to bid on Missy Giove's duffel bag! That would be a score!

Bodacious TaTas said...

MILK JUGS

Cycle pirate said...

Even wit beer goggles me eyes burned looking at that thar horrible scooter...... Aaaaarrrrrrggggggggg!!!

wp said...

MILK BABE

DONT CARE

ABOU TTHE

WHEL SIZE.

or that's what they tell us.

good point ronsonic-- i blame instant pissyness on "reality" television.

logic, reason, and inquiry can now all be discarded in favor of instant pissyness and the uptick in ratings associated therewith.

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Anonymous said...

> do people not know how to read anymore?

Hmmm. Perhaps as a science fiction editor she chooses not to read carefully in her nonprofessional life? Kinda like a dishwasher I once knew who only ate off of paper plates at home, being unable to face washing [his own] dishes without remuneration. Or not.

I'm just relieved the Snob hadn't roused the ire of one of those 3-name serial killers - which was my first thought on seeing "Teresa Nielsen Hayden" before looking her up.

pipulu said...

Top 10 is OK.

Coastiedouche said...

Reason # 347 how the fixie/ retro scene has oficially jumped the shark. $140.00 for a pair of retro cycling gloves.Put a fork in it, your scene is done.. http://urbanvelo.org/
Its funny how retro has become an identity and lifestyle for some of these people.

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PCLA said...

@ Udder:
You are udderly correct. There's a reason why Palin has "captured the imagination" of this retarded country.

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