BSNYC Quiz-pocalypse Now!

If you're a cycling fan, it can be tempting to want to own a piece of the sport's history. For example, some people get very excited about owning bicycles that once belonged to professional racers. Personally, I feel like owning a bicycle that once belonged to a famous pro is about as exciting as owning a swivel chair that once belonged to Warren Buffett--it's simply something someone once used to sit on in order to do his job, and while you can transfer possessions from one person to another, you cannot transfer greatness.

However, there is a limit to what even the most dedicated cycling fan will buy, and while they may be willing to pay top dollar for a famous bicycle they are apparently somewhat less inclined to spend a lot on an actual seat. Consider this auction for a saddle once owned by 2009 Tour de France King of the Mountains competition winner Franco Pellizotti, which was forwarded to me by a reader:

As you can see, the auction has ended, and even though obtaining the coveted Maillot à Pois is a significant sporting accomplishment the saddle has only managed to bring in a paltry $52--which is about what you'd expect an ordinary schmuck-owned Arione to fetch. Of course, this could have less to do with a lack of interest in owning things that were once in close proximity to Pellizotti's taint and more to do with the saddle's dubious provenance:


This Fizik Arione was used by the 2009 Tour de France "King of the Mountains" winner, Franco Pellizotti! Now, there is no proof other than that my friend who aquired this saddle was one the Cannondale Liquigas mechanics, said so... Nonetheless, it's a great saddle!

When you're buying a piece of sports memorabilia as significant of this, you want a certificate of crotchal authenticity and not just the old "my friend who" story. Incidentally, if the story is indeed true, I find it distrubing that pro team mechanics are pilfering saddles and distributing them to friends eager to revel in the ass sweat-soaked glory of another. Really, it's only slightly better than raiding their laundry hampers for used underwear.

But while the anticlimactic ending of that auction didn't surprise me, I was stunned to find out that absolutely nobody bid on Bob Roll's old suitcase, as you can see from this auction to which I was alerted (alas, too late) by the proprietor of Cycling Inquisition:

This just goes to prove how short-sighted cycling fans can be. When you buy something like this, you're not just paying for the item itself--you're also buying what's inside. And in this case, what's crammed into it is not only over 20 years of cycling history, but also at least 20 pounds of "Wednesday Weed:"

That's not a "suitcase of courage;" that's just a suitcase of extreme relaxation. You'd think this guy would have swooped in at the end.

Speaking of relaxation, the weekend is nearly upon us, and before it is I am pleased to serve as your proctor and administer a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you're right, and if you're wrong you're going to see this sick "edit" featuring the butt-blasting Pumgo.

Thanks for reading, ride safe, and if Bob Roll's suitcase pops up again, bid aggressively.

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) To make coffee, Blue Bottle in Williamsburg employs:

--Five Japanese slow-drippers

--Nine Swedish quick-shooters

--Ten German variable flow rate showerheads

--Twelve lazy hipsters

(Yet another nonplussed journalist)

2) Which of the following did a New York Post reporter not encounter while testing out automated Internet cycling directions?

--Angry motorists
--Treacherous roads
--Bike-hating Jews
--Bloodthirsty hawks

3) "Bicycle culture" proponent Michael Colville-Andersen enjoyed that Mercedes-against-messenger commercial:

--True
--False

4) How come Mercedes-racing celebri-messenger Austin Horse got his stolen property back after "Tweeting" about it but ornery blogger Bike Snob NYC did not?

--Horse has a distinctive bright orange bike

--Horse has more friends

--Bike Snob NYC was victimized by an experienced cockpit-smuggler

--All of the above

5) What has taken bicycle manufacturer Giant by surprise?

--29er sales
--Fixed-gear sales

--Commuter bike sales

--The willingness of amateur racers to pay top dollar for pro-level equipment

6) How much for that Cervélo lighter-than-milk "Project California" road frame?

--US$9,600
--EUR9,600

--US$6,900

--It's a trick question, nothing can be lighter than milk

7) What is this?

--The surface of Mars

--An extreme closeup of Jens Voigt's muscle fibers

--An extreme closeup of a bacteria-laden chamois
--An extreme close-up of crabon fribé

***Special Professional Cyclist Peer Review-Themed Bonus Question***

(The forefinger is suggestive enough, but it's the thumb that really makes you wonder.)

Jens Voigt was recently impressed by Alberto Contador's __________:

--Subtlety

--Supplements

--Suppleness
--Sizable pistola