Friday, February 19, 2010

BSNYC Friday Fun-Tastic Burrito of Questions!


(This would help explain the tone of that note.)

Firstly, every so often an inspired rider assembles a bicycle that defies categorization. Such bikes include the SpinerSpoke Aero-Suspension CommuTrial Freakout:


The Lone Wolf's fully-faired landspeeder complete with water tree:



And of course the World's Greatest Madone:



Recently, I was fortunate enough to come across another bicycle that, while not necessarily as transcendent as those mentioned above, nonetheless embodies the same spirit:

Moreover, we are afforded the rare opportunity to hear the owner actually explain his "curation" process:



As he says, this Leader represents an attempt to marry the attributes of a commuter, a triathlon bike, and a "fixie" in a single bicycle. Upon hearing this, you'll probably dismiss such an attempt as foolhardy, but as you see the bicycle in more detail you may change your mind. (Well, I certainly didn't--in fact I only grew more horrified as the video went on--but if you're looking for an internally-geared time trial commuter bike you may feel differently.) Also, the owner says he is willing to build you one as well, though I'm guessing production bikes will forego some of the exquisite details on this prototype, such as the Spinergy decals he bought on eBay. Anyway, after buying one of these babies you can thank me while you're flying to work in the drops. Actually, you won't be in the drops because this bike doesn't have them, but you know what I mean.

Secondly, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see the current state of fixed-gear affairs.

As always, thanks for reading and for sending some of the links incorporated into this quiz, ride safe, and if you're in New York City ride in groups smaller than 50.

--BSNYC/RTMS






1) God hates:

--Shrimp
--Crab
--Lobster
--All of the above






2) "Only in Portland!" A hit-and-run driver claims he didn't see:

--A 6-foot-tall pedicab operator wearing an orange bunny suit





3) "Only in Portland!" The hottest new trend in Stumptown is trapping animals to make your own cycling hat:

--True
--False





4) "Who'd'a thunk it?" A groundbreaking training article reveals:






5) Fixedgeargallery has expanded beyond fixed-gears and is now accepting any bike that is generally ridiculous.

--True
--False





6) Toe straps are Top Tube Pads 2.0:

--True
--False





7) Fill in the blank: "__________ is fixed-gear cycling 2.0."






8) This bike is lighter than:

--Milk
--Cheese
--Eggs
--Butter



***Special "Only God Can Judge Me"-Themed Bonus Question***


This "Only God Can Judge Me" motto takes the form of the dreaded:

104 comments:

SD friend said...

well i can climb like a at 3 track sprinter

streepo said...

podium!!!

cheva said...

podium

rainer said...

PODIUM!!!! suckas!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Just missed out on the podium. Drat.

cheva said...

being Canadian, I'm quite happy about third. Nike only said that Silver was the colour of the first loser. Didn't mention anything after that. Is bronze the colour of the first Canadian?

Dave said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave said...

top 10?

hoot79er said...

top ten !!!!!!!

ringcycles said...

Top 10 again?

Nogocyclist said...

Top 10

Anonymous said...

missed podium reading competitor blog

ant1 said...

ant1st!

nard hipples said...

concerned is the man

ras said...

what I don't get is yer gonna use BMX pads and BMX bars on your fix and then do tricks -why not just ride a BMX already?

Nogocyclist said...

Oh, well.

I'll take it. Top ten only by disqualification of number seven.

rezado said...

...its in your face but you cant grab it...

streepo said...

2nd straight perfect quiz score. My prayers to the Lobster God must be working.

ringcycles said...

9/9, but for goodness sake Snob, you should have warned us about the male tramp stamp muffin top.

"My eyes, my eyes are burning!"

On the plus side, now I know if I truly had only one bike to try to do it all on, just how horrible it would be.

Isolation Helmet said...

BikeSnob according to the currator of that Leader monstrosity those are Synergy logos not Spinergy. I guess he is a big fan of 70's synth music.

I can't believe I made it all of the way through that one.

Anonymous said...

OMG! I got they all right!

Anonymous said...

bsnyc, phd.

Anonymous said...

I trust I am in the first 49, hence I do not need a permit!

Never Knows Best said...

Speaking of internally geared fixies, when does the Sturmey-Archer s3x 'drop'?

wishiwasmerckx said...

If, as I have long speculated, embattled NYC Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik and Bikesnob NYC are indeed one and the same, I fear that the demise of this beloved blog is just around the corner.

Buffalo Bill said...

In the process, he must have cracked the windshield with the brass knuckles he was carrying for protection.

I wonder why the drunk wouldn't get out of his car?

hillbilly said...

nutria1st

Unknown said...

Pretty epic pie-plate on that bianchi!

db said...

Wow, I was in Golden Gate Park in October, and I totally missed the Fixie Patch. My loss, really.

pissed mtb'er said...

who cares if some dandys do wheelies in a patch of pavement formerly the territory of swing dancers and rollerskaters. the real horror occurred in the woods a little northwest from where that video was shot, three or four years ago.

what was a serene retreat for sleeping one off, going on the nod, having anonymous sex in the shrubs... a place in the city where would could practice hopping logs on honest-to-lobster-god blowdown and might realistically loose a derailleur from a sucked up stick or get a flat from something other than broken glass... well all this... up in frisbee golf course courtesy of the parks department.

frolf for the masses. even costanza didn't drink 22 oz microbrews at 10am.

Anonymous said...

Imagine you are out on your bike - solo. Through a series of highly unfortunate incidents you get mixed in with a bunch (>49) Critical Asses and the next thing you know the local constabulary is escorting you into the back of a paddy-vagen. That would suck. Just sayin'...

Mike Russell said...

The video is fantastic. Was this a joke?

fierce panties said...

Remember those silly kids in 87 who ollied a curb all day then a few years after they went pro kickflipping over massive gaps?

Are we heading down that road with fixed gear freestyle? I'm not ready to do it, but if a fixter ever lands a half-cab over 18 steps then I may have to respect.

sufferist said...

nice can-of-duh. I'd give it the silver.

Astroluc (Find me on Tumblr and Instagram @Astroluc) said...

35!! all but one right ;)

Jefe said...

I thought everyone should ride a bike...until I saw that wimpy hipster in the video. He is why bike permits should be required. Enforce quality, not quantity. Free the NYC 49+!

Vance Longwell said...

Kudos Mr. 'Snob for noticing the pedicabiccedent here in BRIDGETOWN (Eff those mofos we had to cut all the trees down to build them environmentally sensitive eco-bunkers to live in. STUMPTOWN, indeed!)! Dude was drunk too, and just coming from one of our plethora titty-bars in town. The seediest, scummiest, one no less.

Not too drunk to deny seeing the Pedicab, and it's operator wearing a neon-bright Bunny Suit, nosiree! Of course we're breaking ground in other areas too as a Murder warrant has just been issued for the robber whom robbed and beat a cyclist, and left them in the street. Where, of course, not one, but two, intoxicated motorists ran the victim over in their cars. For added measure, presumably.

Fur-hats, as you must surely know by now, are about the least of our problems!

Anonymous said...

douchebags are happier than you and me.

The Pogonologist said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

ervgopwr said...

Still safely in the peloton at #40

sufferist said...

To think, the only thing separating me from a hybrid-tri-faux rim-commuter is a mere $2K. It really needed some kind of rack to seal the deal though....

Being such an avid indoor rower for all of 3 months now, it kinda shamed me to see that he was wearing a UCLA Rowing shirt, MikeWeb do you have a comment...

BMODe said...

Add Beethoven's 5th and any Schumann lieder to the BSNYC video sound track test

wishiwasmerckx said...

Will there be a new podium race to become the 49th commenter, thus avoiding arrest by the comment board po-po?

We're almost there.

edom bin necker said...

i think im goning to issue a fartwa on all of you

kale said...

Is roller racing in the Winter Olympics yet?

I am the engine said...

Hard quiz today, I must have been on the wednesday weed all week.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/41316200@N04/4370398605/

ant1 said...

barely legal

ringcycles said...

Last safe spot in the group ride?

Disgruntl Ed. said...

50. Here come the NYPD.

sufferist said...

second criminal

mikeweb said...

why am I in handcuffs!?!?

Damn critical ass...

The Good Fairy of All Cyclists said...

@ Never Knows Best

That SunRace $EX got dropped off by UPS at Harris Cyclery.
I presume it is available elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

Who ever thinks "Only God Can Judge Me," never saw this blogspot, let alone the reader comments section.

TheTye said...

I ride through that "Fixie Patch" all the time when I'm working in SF. It's in Golden Gate Park and it's also a "Skateboard Patch" (which is more entertaining to watch)
Either way, the incredible douchy poser-ness of that patch of asphalt always creeps me out on my way to Clement St. to get Dim Sum.

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:37, I think you win comment of the day.

Anonymous said...

Not that I'm judging or anything.

Anonymous said...

I think it's especially appropriate that those BMX/fixie riders took over the spot previous occupied by the whistle blowing disco roller bladers.

Anonymous said...

The nutria deal is definitely not an "only in Portland." They're an invasive species in New Orleans. It's so bad there, that you're allowed to shoot them within city limits, from a vehicle. Probably a pretty good fixie/mountain man hybrid!

Stupid Name said...

$240.00 for a three speed hub.

I hate to be judgemental.

But are you fucking serious?

Anonymous said...

Only Frilly can judge ME!

cwg said...

I wish you would do the bike nation a service and interview the phenoms who brought us these great machines (they all deserve a macarthur grant, of course). I would love to see how great minds think.

For instance, the fellow with the Madone has clearly mastered the holtzman effect or some other shielding process that protects the bike from theft or other physical harm, rendering that wimpy lock superfluous. I think the lock is simply a genius asthetic flourish (kitsch!).

B. Maher said...

You people are stupid. I am so fucking tired of having to put up with idiots like you.

G. Mahler said...

Bill, are you talking about fixter freestylers?

B. Obama said...

You know, I've tried to reach out to those knuckle-dragging right-wing bastards and those stupid fuckers just won't listen to reason.

PCLA said...

At least the PeterBuilt dude is cycling and not riding a raised truck/SUV with big tires and OC Choppers/ Skin Indistries stickers on the back window like the rest of his neighbors.

BTW could he be a distant relative of the Opinionated Cyclist?

A. Bruckner said...

I thought it was funny.

M. McConnell said...

HATE is the new black

eeeeeeeeee said...

Snob, did terrible on the quiz today, every time I get a wrong answer in my head I hear the Zing! sound from Silent Library. Sadism. Anyway, unsolicited suggestion - can you make a special gallery page of the RTMS/BSNYC seal of disapproval bikes? When I'm feeling down I like to look at the joy in other people's lives, and seeing those bikes really does the trick, in the parking lot.

kale said...

Is the 'state of affairs' video intended to be satire. I can't tell some times. Kids these days (By kids I mean 30 year olds).

sentral dogma said...

I WANT that pie plate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nogocyclist said...

If the bunny on the pedicab would have used the lone wolf before putting on the bunny costume, it could have turned out so different.

http://www.lonewolfbodyart.net/index2.html

She would only have needed to take off the head if she let him apply her makeup. See photos under the Luna FX section.

Anonymous said...

epic!

The Ignorant One said...

B. Maher all I have to say is <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wb8bAl1P-N0/S36pEs2QSJI/AAAAAAAAMs4/rMJync826Hg/s1600-h/duh-can.jpg>Duh</a>

mistervague said...

Haha there is a parking lot right near where I live in San Diego. Several times I have seen a bunch of people pull up in a gleaming pickup truck, remove several messenger bikes, and ride around the parking lot.

Anonymous said...

Victor,

"I think the lock is simply a genius asthetic flourish "

What????

Online koozies said...

So stylish ! I admire you !

Odile Lee said...

Great penis enlargement! No thanx spam guy, I prefer the old fashioned way( uh love, duh).

I could fit a REAL pie on that plate!
Maybe they whip it off when they hit a park for picnics.

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leroy said...

No way am I falling for that mail order penis enlargement scam.

I mean, $19.95 for a magnifying glass is way over priced.

Ride safe all!

Duh!! said...

This is what I think about all your comments. Duh!!

Just Kidding, except for the spam comments. For those I believe felony prosecution would be more appropriate.

jay said...

aww they took that last video down

Anonymous said...

AYGJMC


All You Gods Judge My Crack

Anonymous said...

No way am I falling for that mail order truck part scam.

I mean, used parts, never fit my fixie.

Ride safe all!

Anonymous said...

What happened to the nike scam, guy, I miss him.

leroy said...

Anon 5:30 --

Well said.

tompainesghost said...

There is a hand crafted Bicycle exhibit happening in Fort Collins, Colorado this week. Check out pictures of the master works and a video of the "Jet Bike" ---> http://www.tompainesghost.com/2010/02/hand-crafted-bicycle-exhibit.html

Cheers,
Kris

PCLA said...

Political partisan spammer trolls begone! This blog is one of my escapes from the shitty world, except when we commiserate on the indignity of commuting by bicycle in urban areas.

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Anonymous said...

Anon spam dude-
how bout we have a Friday fun quiz smackdown with the winner getting $2,000 and a ride on the worlds greatest Madone?

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Anonymous said...

It can not be the world's greatest madone without a finger bang seat! Though I will admit it does seem a little too "junior high."

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