As many people are aware, this weekend the North American Handmade Bicycle Show is taking place in Richmond, Virginia. Since Richmond is a mere 350-ish miles (or about 476,500 kilometers, or roughly 1.5 "epic" Rapha rides) from New York City, a number of people have asked me if I will be attending. Sadly, I will not. While I would have enjoyed loading up the Wagon Queen Family Truckster, hitting the New Jersey Turnpike, and straddling two lanes at a leisurely 37mph while the icy wind tousles my hair through my missing windshield and my Ironic Orange Julius Bike hangs out the tailgate, it turns out I have to be elsewhere in the country for something more important. (At least to me.) So while I will not be going to the NAHBS, I will be traveling (weather and Lobster permitting), and as such I will also not be posting on Monday, March 1st but will return on Tuesday, March 2nd with regular updates.
In any case, as much as I would like to stand around a convention center with a bunch of white people who wear cycling caps even when they're not riding and who get a little too excited about beer, I'm also fine with missing it. This is the fifth NAHBS and I think we all know the routine by now. First, photos will start pouring in to the various cycling websites and blogs, with extreme close-ups of tubes meeting other tubes over which you're supposed to get really excited. Then cycling writers and bloggers will attempt to identify some "trend" or "theme" running though the show. Will it be utilitarian bikes? Cyclocross bikes? Cargo bikes? 650b fixed-gear recumbents? Lugged brake levers with bottle openers on them? Then the fixed-gear bloggers will attempt to write knowledgeably about bikes they photographed because they liked the paint scheme or the builder used a piece of vintage Campy or a wine cork as a bar plug. By next Friday, the sight of beautifully made $6,000 city bikes is going to make you want to puke, and by Interbike roughly half the bikes at the NAHBS will turn up in Felt's "Fixie" series, only without the functionality.
Given my absence on Monday, you will have an extra day to complete the quiz with which I am pleased to now present you. As always, study the item, think (that's the thing you do in our head that hurts sometimes), and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll be forced to attend bicycle safety camp.
Thanks very much as always for reading, as well as for forwarding many of the items in this quiz. Enjoy the weekend, ride safe, and if you're off to NAHBS enjoy all the chin-stroking and try to remember that "fillet brazing" is not a type of cajun cooking.
1) Wood is crabon fribé 2.0:
(Petrified wood: laterally stiff and vertically stiffer)
1) Wood is crabon fribé 2.0:
2) In Portland:
--The "fixies" are tiny
--The riders are enormous
--Both are proportionately oversized
--Both are proportionately miniscule
("Seize this, honkus.")
3) What is the complete message on this rim?
--"Seize The Day"
4) Pursuit-to-non-pursuit conversion is freewheel-to-fixed conversion 2.0:
5) Why is this bike wearing a sweater?
7) Which of the following is not an actual reason given by a "Hipster Wife Hunting" pin-up girl (not the one pictured above) for why she would make an ideal hipster wife?
***Special Slightly-Risqué-Religious-Lobster-Iconography Themed Bonus Question***
Lobster deities love: