Friday, February 26, 2010

BSNYC Friday Frumunda Quiz!

As many people are aware, this weekend the North American Handmade Bicycle Show is taking place in Richmond, Virginia. Since Richmond is a mere 350-ish miles (or about 476,500 kilometers, or roughly 1.5 "epic" Rapha rides) from New York City, a number of people have asked me if I will be attending. Sadly, I will not. While I would have enjoyed loading up the Wagon Queen Family Truckster, hitting the New Jersey Turnpike, and straddling two lanes at a leisurely 37mph while the icy wind tousles my hair through my missing windshield and my Ironic Orange Julius Bike hangs out the tailgate, it turns out I have to be elsewhere in the country for something more important. (At least to me.) So while I will not be going to the NAHBS, I will be traveling (weather and Lobster permitting), and as such I will also not be posting on Monday, March 1st but will return on Tuesday, March 2nd with regular updates.

In any case, as much as I would like to stand around a convention center with a bunch of white people who wear cycling caps even when they're not riding and who get a little too excited about beer, I'm also fine with missing it. This is the fifth NAHBS and I think we all know the routine by now. First, photos will start pouring in to the various cycling websites and blogs, with extreme close-ups of tubes meeting other tubes over which you're supposed to get really excited. Then cycling writers and bloggers will attempt to identify some "trend" or "theme" running though the show. Will it be utilitarian bikes? Cyclocross bikes? Cargo bikes? 650b fixed-gear recumbents? Lugged brake levers with bottle openers on them? Then the fixed-gear bloggers will attempt to write knowledgeably about bikes they photographed because they liked the paint scheme or the builder used a piece of vintage Campy or a wine cork as a bar plug. By next Friday, the sight of beautifully made $6,000 city bikes is going to make you want to puke, and by Interbike roughly half the bikes at the NAHBS will turn up in Felt's "Fixie" series, only without the functionality.

Given my absence on Monday, you will have an extra day to complete the quiz with which I am pleased to now present you. As always, study the item, think (that's the thing you do in our head that hurts sometimes), and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll be forced to attend bicycle safety camp.

Thanks very much as always for reading, as well as for forwarding many of the items in this quiz. Enjoy the weekend, ride safe, and if you're off to NAHBS enjoy all the chin-stroking and try to remember that "fillet brazing" is not a type of cajun cooking.


(Petrified wood: laterally stiff and vertically stiffer)

1) Wood is crabon fribé 2.0:


2) In Portland:

--The "fixies" are tiny
--The riders are enormous
--Both are proportionately oversized
--Both are proportionately miniscule

("Seize this, honkus.")

3) What is the complete message on this rim?

--"Seize The Day"

4) Pursuit-to-non-pursuit conversion is freewheel-to-fixed conversion 2.0:


5) Why is this bike wearing a sweater?

6) Why is this bike not wearing a sweater?

("Hipster Wife Hunting" pin-up girl)

7) Which of the following is not an actual reason given by a "Hipster Wife Hunting" pin-up girl (not the one pictured above) for why she would make an ideal hipster wife?

***Special Slightly-Risqué-Religious-Lobster-Iconography Themed Bonus Question***

Lobster deities love:


wishiwasmerckx said...


wishiwasmerckx said...

Hot Damn!

streepo said...


wishiwasmerckx said...


wishiwasmerckx said...

Oh, well. As they say, two out of three ain't bad.

Cpt. Hdy said...


Astroluc said...

wow... top ten. Fast pack to be in; all before noon!


il professore said...

coasting across the line...

streepo said...

Sorry to pip you wiwm.
missed my first question in 3 quizzes

Ed said...


wishiwasmerckx said...

Not to be picky, but it's "absence," not "absense." As per the usual, Snob will surreptitiously correct the typo, leaving later readers wondering just what the hell some crotchety old grammar nazi is cluttering up the comment board about.

DogShot said...

Here's to hot tubbin'!

BikeSnobNYC said...


Sorry, must have been thinking about "Abs-Sense," that show on USA about the personal trainer-slash-detective with psychic powers.


Astroluc said...

got every one WRONG except for the one about the Hipster wife... what does this mean? jus' askin'

ant1 said...


wishiwasmerckx said...

Snob, too much Absenthe last night = can't spell absence this morning.

I know, we've all been there.

RB1 said...

"Seize My Bearings" -- now thats funny, if a bit close to home.

Fingerbang Assistant said...


paul sadoff said...


Paul Bowen said...

Top 20!

wishiwasmerckx said...

That wooden Serotta is a thing of beauty to behold, but words you never want to hear include:

"A passing motorist flicked a cigarette butt out the window, and my frame burned to the ground;"

"I"d love to go riding with you today, the humidity is up and my frame is too swollen;"


"I locked my new Serotta up outside the 7-11, and while I was inside getting a Slurpee, somebody whittled "Jodie loves Chachie" into my top tube."

Grumpy IP said...

top 25?

libertyonbikes! said...

I could see a wooden Serotta
being the 2011
Exploding Mavic Wheel (EMW)

does it come with tweezers,
that bolt to the bottle cage,
like the Felt fixie?

Anonymous said...

Top 25.

Disgruntl Ed. said...

Does "ride save" mean we should save up riding until the weather is better? Sounds good to me.

Have a great extended weekend, in either case.

craig calfee said...

if I hear that 'pop' sound again I think my head will pop...
-too many wrong answers

I am the engine said...

Very hard quiz, Lobster god was not happy with me this week.

hillbilly said...

ride save?

have a great trip

hillbilly said...

i went to college in richmond and will be spending significant time in portland this summer. does that qualify me for extra credit?

Anonymous said...

Geez, only one right--up too late watching figure skating.

Slightly disappointed by the "Seize the Day" answer. It's Friday and I'm in the mood to grab a handful of bearing.

hillbilly said...

oops, disgruntled beat me to it. i was out-gruntled.

mikeweb said...


Yeah, those Lobsters love the hot tub action.

Just not too hot.

Happy shoveling everyone!

Lawrence of the Labia said...






Nogocyclist said...

The dog at 1:55 says all that needed to be said about the Bicycle Safety Camp video.

Anonymous said...

Pre-dic-a-ment: n
1) a situation from which extradition is difficult such as keeping desk job that pays lots of money or risk getting fired trying to podium on BSNYC
2) a specific condition such as owning a fixie without the skillz to do a bar spin


The Lobster god said...

Lobster gods do not love cats in sweaters.
We are Cats in sweaters.

Pint Sized Hipster said...

Dad, I can't ride my bike. The chain keeps falling off.

Mom, said you wanted me to learn to ride a fixed gear bike. That's ok but could you at least get off your lazy rear and tighten my chain.

lyric taco said...

like wood grain patterns and composites?

fans of "crabon fibre" should also appreciate the name of this company.

john m said...

I was at the NAHBS this morning and there *were* a lot white dudes there but no beer talk, maybe it was too early.

Shimano North American Handmade Bicycle show

"Bob" said...


brutus said...

flunkus maximas

Anonymous said...

hubba hubba

DadRyan said...

I've never done worse on one of these quizzes, I think that's a good sign.

I thought I was in a world of my own with dreams of 650b recumbents spec'd with lugged brake levers with bottle openers in them...

I'm going down to the show tomorrow. I'll be sure to take a lot of pictures, I'll try to get some of white dudes standing around in cycling hats getting excited about beer.

echuck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
echuck said...

WIWM - it's Joanie! Loved that show.

BS - Your second paragraph is beautiful!


ervgopwr said...

Animals everywhere; lobsters, dogs, cats, hipsters and their (potential) mates.

My prediction out of this year's NAMBLA is that bikes will have two wheels, a double diamond frame, and some may feature clompers (brakes). I know going way out on a limb, but one of these years the prediction must be true.

Anonymous said...






sufferist said...

In commemoration of Snobbies deityway, I submit the following:
RockLobster bikes

rural 14 said...

ant 2nd!

hipster wife hunting?...ouch...though they all seem very lovely and sincere. None of them phoned me back. And my wife and I feel we need a wife. Those look a bit flimsy though.

Cav Not said...



ant1 said...


Dandys said...




edom bin necker said...

you know from yes turd day i remembered i seen then chiner fellers befor somewhere

they was long duc dong and hung to low

(cough, cough) said...

I like the way you're not swerving when you look around in back. Good!

Brought to you by Triaminic

Anonymous said...

Aren't you white too?

Anonymous said...

sweaty cats in sweaters

Bebop said...

I got one question for everyone. I was bored enough that I went back and watched all 3 episodes of the bicycle safty video.

Well, after watching all three, I realized that at the end of the third one all the kids rode off on bikes.

Ok, so what? In episode 1 the bike camp lent every kid a bike for the camp. At the end the kids rode off on the bikes.

Did they give the kids a bike? Or did the kids each steal a bike?

V. Ice said...

Sam Sprocket has wack flow.

Lawrence of the Labia said...






m. yellow said...

All you Bikesnob fellators suck my blog

kerry said...

I wouldnt mind having that tatt, as long as the chick was Lady Gaga.

Sam Sprocket said...

@ m.yellow

All potential Critical Mass riders are required to attend my Bicycle Safety Camp before riding in large groups. Please watch videos 1,2, and 3 and follow ALL safety rules- bicycle safety is COOL! Yaaaaah!

P. Diddy said...

I invented the remix:

Cycle Tragic said...

Petrified Wood !
Imitation is a hallmark of pending
notoriety....especially when done by a company such as Serotta....

As good as the 'paint job' is the real thing looks a whole lot better. See for yourself ....

And if not already, with evolution, will probably ride better as well...

I just worry if this faux is 'believed' it could set back Wooden Bike appreciation several 'Lobster God' nano seconds....

Should I go to church said...

Hey, that hipster wifehunting pin up shot girl kind of gave me a woody, she's sorta hot in that nice girl however I can suck a golf ball down a 1/2 in garden hose kinda way... does that make me a bad person?

Anonymous said...





Hipster dude said...

I invented the hipster wife and hummus; bitches!


Chris said...

I note Monday is National Pig Day. I think the lobster god may have something to say about this.

Yo' Mama said...

Should I go to church.


Just make sure it is open when you go. And this time, be honest. Park yo' self right down front in that sinners pew!

And boy, I better not catch yo' snoring again.

burley said...

Nogocyclist said...

Burley, I saw that bike Friday and was thinking of posting it here. There were other views of it too.

Nogocyclist said...

My Bad,

Same one I saw, just did not scroll down.

Nogocyclist said...

Here are two more
BMX Fixed Gear
Fixed Gear Folder

I have one of a fixed gear recumbent, but I want to save that one for a time more readers will see it. I will probably make up some lame story, or whacked name for the commenter to go with it.

Nogocyclist said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
San Fran Nan said...

Things can be bipartisan even if one side totally hates something and votes against it. You know?

Pontius Pilate said...



Anonymous said...






Anonymous said...







ant1 said...


for the nonexistent monday podium race, that is.

edom bin necker said...

all dressed up and no wheres to go

Anonymous Coward said...


You totally owned the non-podiumway today, right on!

Anonymous said...

How the hell is that? I get ant1 as the 10th post of March 1st. Way to fill the pack, ant1!!!

ant1 said...

i kick ass when there's no competition.

ant1 said...

anon 2:37 - since snob was not there to fire the starting gun, i made up my own, raced my ass off, and won. the previous march 1st posts were all false starts. my imaginary race, my imaginary rules.

Anon 2:37 said...

Gotcha! Just like my Sunday rides! I always "win"...

Jefe said...

Hey Snob, I don't mean to complain (I never finish the quizzes anyway), but I think you slipped in a trick answer to "Hipster Wife Hunting." The answer "like public transportation" punished me with the safety video, even though it is clearly stated in her personal ad. The "fixie skid" response was deemed correct, even though she does not care about bikes in any form, hipster or not.

ant1 said...

anon 2:37 - exactly. it's much better for my ego than the real world is.

Anonymous Coward said...

@Jefe - the question was "which of these was not an actual reason".

Hence "can skid a fixie" is correct.

erkeller said...

Love the bike sweater. Your multiple choice comments are right on! Some of us will knit a sweater for just about anything.
signed: Colorfulknitter on

The Greatest Hipster of all Times said...

Lets all go for a fun ride at the skate-park on our fixed geared bikes.

Cadel E said...

Damn it! Not only did I not podium in the real race I also didn't podium in the ant1s imaginary race, my 'you suck' meter is as always right.

d. fofonov said...

The Russian are weakening, leaving many opportunity for Ukraines and Khazachks for achieve ascendancy.

We are thanking Broward County for taking us in and being so gracious for us and trying to learn fine point of the epic seafood enchilada.

No being question that young Mexican and Cuban girls can suck cock with a vengeance. Pressure off the taint helps you to be light and joyful in saddle after a really great headjob. One swalla, no holla.

Jefe said...

Thanks Anonymous Coward, I'll go back into my daze now.

E.Spanner said...

Damn it Portland!!!! Stop giving them such easy laughs. Show some dignity, we'll save logic and reason for the advanced class next semester.

Here in Portland we can put our R-SYS track wheels on backwards and our front impacted forks still track well.

Janice D. said...

Sunday afternoon along the Belt Parkway, I saw a frequent bike rider from last year who brought a broom, got off his bike and started sweeping aside the Winter debris near the Mill Creek Bridge. I had thought of doing a little of this myself. Maybe we all should. He certainly makes a better impression than those clowns doing street theater.

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