

While I'm not exactly the target audience for "Empire," I wish the filmmakers nothing but the best. Really, my only reservation is that projects like this embolden other would-be filmmakers whose connection to the subject matter is more tenuous and contrived. Even though I'm not interested in watching people do tricks on fixed-gears or ride slightly closer to buses than is advisable (apart from the unintentional comic factor of course), I'll certainly acknowledge that these are people who know each-other and ride together in real life. In that sense at least the "scene" is genuine. No, the real trouble starts when you have to troll for riders on Craigslist, as in this posting which was forwarded to me by a reader:
Do you have tattoos & ride a bike with no brakes? (NYC)
Date: 2010-01-04, 1:07PM EST
Reply to: [deleted]
Casting office casting LEAD role in short film that will shoot January 2010. Exact Dates TBD.
Description: Seeking Female, 25 years old. ALL ETHNICITIES. Piercings and tattoos a plus. An INTENSE woman. MUST ride a FIXED GEAR BIKE. This type of bike is a bike WITHOUT BRAKES.
How to Submit:
Please email [deleted]@gmail.com a recent photo, a description about yourself & your experience riding a fixed gear bike.
If you don't know any intense women with experience riding a fixed-gear bike then perhaps you shouldn't be making a film about intense women who ride fixed-gear bikes. While the "Empire" crew may be a bit self-interested, at least they didn't have to go trolling on Craigslist for people with an excessive interest in color coordination and hats.

Date: 2010-01-04, 1:07PM EST
Reply to: [deleted]
Casting office casting LEAD role in short film that will shoot January 2010. Exact Dates TBD.
Description: Seeking Female, 25 years old. ALL ETHNICITIES. Piercings and tattoos a plus. An INTENSE woman. MUST ride a FIXED GEAR BIKE. This type of bike is a bike WITHOUT BRAKES.
How to Submit:
Please email [deleted]@gmail.com a recent photo, a description about yourself & your experience riding a fixed gear bike.
If you don't know any intense women with experience riding a fixed-gear bike then perhaps you shouldn't be making a film about intense women who ride fixed-gear bikes. While the "Empire" crew may be a bit self-interested, at least they didn't have to go trolling on Craigslist for people with an excessive interest in color coordination and hats.
Another contrived form is the promotional video disguised as a cycling video. A few weeks ago I mentioned a "collabo" among Specialized, Capo Forma, and Whole Foods called "Pedaling," and the first "webisode" has finally "dropped." It's called "Pizza Fixation." The score features the sort of music you would be forced to endure in a trendy clothing boutique, and here are the protagonists cycling across the Williamsburg Bridge as random verbs are flashed across the screen:
This, apparently, is the "fixie crew," and they're breathing, feeling, and being their way to Brooklyn:

But not before they go to Whole Foods in Manhattan for a bunch of pizza toppings:
There are many different ways to enjoy cycling with friends. Some riders like to meet early in the morning and ride their road bikes for five hours. Others prefer to hoist their mountain bikes from their roof racks and take to the trails. Still others like to do tricks under elevated expressways on fixed-gear BMX/29er hybrids. The "fixie crew" are a bit more genteel--they like to "hit up" the Whole Foods for Brussel sprouts, duck eggs, and cockles:


But not before they go to Whole Foods in Manhattan for a bunch of pizza toppings:



Anyway, fortified with kombucha, the "fixie crew" heads to the register with what must be at least $600 worth of food:


And exploring:








The guy in the hat is particularly pleased by the cockles:

Eventually, he produces one tiny pizza with about $75 worth of toppings on it:

Which they are forced to share among four people:

Finally, having "killed" the tiny pizza, they ride off into the "wilds" of gentrified Brooklyn. For some reason, the filmmakers stop flashing verbs across the screen just when they would be most relevant:

Buy it if: You need cockles.
Don't buy it if: You think "duck egg" is a warning and a "kombucha" is an NJS keirin frame.
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