Thursday, December 10, 2009

Having It All: Long Time, Tall Order

Most scholars agree that human history can be divided into five epochs, which are usually represented as sections on the Dachshund of Time:

Each of these epochs is defined by certain technological advances and consequent shifts in behavior and human expression. The Stone Age was the time of the caveman, when people made crude paintings of bison, domesticated dinosaurs, propelled their cars with their feet, and generally lived life as it is depicted in "The Flinstones." Next came the Olden Days, when people traded their dinosaurs in for horses, went to the opera, wrote lengthy treatises with feathers, and made marble sculptures of fat naked people. The Olden Days eventually gave way to the Old School, which in a historical context is usually regarded as anytime between the invention of the internal combustion engine and the point at which beating children fell out of favor. Back in the Day is the period between the day you were born and 10 years ago (if you are less than 10 years old you are actually living Back in the Day, which is something of a temporal anomaly), and Right About Now is right about now.

Through the Olden Days, people generally took life as it came. If they were born poor, they stayed poor. If they got sick, they died. If someone told them to schlep big rocks and build a pyramid, they schlepped big rocks and built a pyramid. This changed in the Old School days. People who were born poor didn't want to stay that way, so they recorded hit singles and bought big cars with tail fins. If they didn't like their environments or moods, they changed them by purchasing new living room furniture and lava lamps and by dropping acid. If they didn't like being men, they had surgery and became women. It is this attitude with which we were raised Back in the Day, and it is what informs our behavior now. Children aren't stupid anymore; they have learning disabilities with long acronyms. We have our teeth made preternaturally white. If it's less than ideal it's not good enough, and if we can't change it then we change reality.

In some ways, this is good, and most of us would agree we're better off now than we were in the Stone Age, when disease and saber tooth tigers struck with alarming frequency. In other ways, though, it makes life even more difficult. Constantly striving for the ideal can be costly, both financially and spiritually. In strictly material terms, it means you can wind up spending almost endless amounts of money on almost nothing, since we feel like we should be able to Have it All. This it leads to the fundamental modern consumer's dilemma: If you settle for too little, you're a schmuck, but if you pay for too much, you're a sucker.

Consider the world of cycling. Back in the Day, people were willing to accept the fact that a dress shirt is simply not optimal cycling attire. If you were going to ride a bike, you wouldn't wear a dress shirt, but if you had to wear a dress shirt and you wanted to ride your bike you'd simply deal with it. You might even improve things a bit by riding a bicycle that afforded you a more upright position, or even by changing your shirt at work. However, if you're willing to spend $120 you no longer have to make these painful decisions, because Outlier have now invented something called the "pivot sleeve:"
Outlier calls this shirt an "experiment in form," and here it is in the lab:


Here's the thinking behind it:

The basic challenge was straightforward, when you lean forward on a bike a buttondown shirt stresses. It pulls uncomfortably taut across the shoulders. The sleeves pull up exposing your wrists to the cold, and the tails pull out of your pants, leaving you either untucked or with a blooming blouse of a shirt. Our solution is the patent-pending Pivot Sleeve, a completely reconstructed buttondown that retains the traditional look and feel of a dress shirt while working equally well both on and off the a bicycle.

This is indeed a brilliant solution to the rarefied problem of needing to ride a racing bicycle to a place where you need to wear a dress shirt. It's like the Henny Youngman joke about going to the doctor and telling him, "It hurts when I do this." ("Then don't do that.") If leaning forward on your bike stresses your dress shirt, maybe you shouldn't lean forward on your bike. But are you a schmuck for riding an upright commuter when you could be zipping around town on a road bike thanks to the miracle of the "pivot sleeve," or are you a sucker who's buying a special wardrobe just so you can ride the wrong bike? I'm not saying either is the case, but it's a uniquely Right About Now problem to have.

Another Right About Now problem is where to put your "essentials" when you ride. (Never mind what objects actually qualify as "essentials," which is another dilemma.) Fortunately, Rapha have come to the rescue with their "Essentials Case:"

Placing your essentials in a non-essential item like a $55 leather case may be ironic, but Rapha is promoting this as a "stocking stuffer" for the holiday season, and exchanging non-essential items with practical applications is what adult gift-giving is all about. While you probably wouldn't buy one for yourself, you'd probably appreciate it from somebody else. Also, gifts are exempt from the "Schmuck or Sucker?" dilemma--in fact this is the point of modern gift-giving. That said, while Right About Now this is an Essentials Case, what it really is is an Old School purse. Even in these enlightened times, the process of branding man-bags is a delicate one. If you call it a "purse" then men feel self-conscious, but if you call it something too masculine then it just sounds like a scrotum. (Think, well, man-bag.) So while "Essentials Case" may be a bit pretentious, it's at least somewhere between being feminine and scrotal--though it may lean just a bit towards the latter. ("All You Haters Suck My Essentials Case.")

Yes, in many ways cycling Right About Now is about never having to compromise, and this doesn't just apply to your clothes and your possessions. It also applies to your responsibilities. What if you have a dog who needs to be walked, but doing so will cut into your precious riding time? Well, a reader informs me that you can simply go to eBay and get one of these:


In the Olden Days our animals pulled us around, but now we pull them, and our parks and bike lanes are full of people exercising with their panting, miserable canine companions in tow. It's one thing to do this with the dog at your side, but it's another to relegate your pet to the back of the bike altogether, where you can't even check on it. With this device, you're flirting with a "National Lampoon's Vacation" scenario:


Speaking of what's going on out back, another reader informs me that Craft have finally solved the problem of flatulence ventilation:


"Areas that require more exhaust" feature a "thinner mesh weave:"
Note it appears to be particularly thin around the posterior.

Even more astoundingly, yet another reader tells me the geniuses in Portland have finally solved the problem of cycling in high heels:

And still another informs me that you can even buy "street cred" now:

While you might not need two-inch heels or flatulence vents to ride your bike, you at least can't argue that they're there. However, if something actually says "Street Cred" on it then you can be sure it doesn't have it.

142 comments:

RyanBaxter said...

Numero uno?

Anonymous said...

top five

sufferist said...

no way!!

Anonymous said...

Crossing the line with fingerbangs all around...


Dave

Anonymous said...

finer points of weiner dogs--Alexander McCall Smith

sufferist said...

Take a break from training [at work] and the gods smiled on me, plus I sucked Bad Lawyer's wheel most of the way. Never saw Ryan....

mikeweb said...

Hot dog!!

Anonymous said...

Blog cred!

Unknown said...

top ten again!

Soren said...

It's "Flintstones" not "Flinstones". I used to think is was the latter until I got into and argument about it and lost. Who pronounces the 1st "t"? No one. But it's there.

Sit Poll Core Sample said...

Ya Hootie

Dann said...

That timeline cracked me up. I think more people are living Back in The Day then you realize...

http://coreminimalist.blogspot.com

mikeweb said...

Back in the day, spending $55 on a stocking stuffer was considered a stupid waste of money.

mikeweb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mikeweb said...

Stony Curtis was the MAN, in the Old School days.

Astroluc (Find me on Tumblr and Instagram @Astroluc) said...

can it be? is this a BSNYC Christmas/Hanukkah buyers guide?

Right about now I recall that Back in the Day, in my Old Skool, that I learnt aboot the Olden Days of Stone age bicycling... back before gears were even invented and there wasn't even any Hollywood (or Portland, for that matter)

hillbilly said...

c'mon son!!

Udder said...

The shot of the rider demonstrating the Outlier shirt in action is obviously a poorly art-directed marketing photo and totally unrealistic- the bike has brakes.

Johnny B said...

Where can I get one of those tiny golden retrievers?

Johnny B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Some Guy on the Innernets said...

For $120, any reasonably competent shopper can buy at least three dress shirts that fit properly.

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

sufferist said...

I hate bikes without brakes, cause they remind me of my grandfather and his stupid "epic-trip" up Alpe d'Huez on his beloved Iver Johnson. What a prick.

Seriously though, people did that kinda shtuff. God bless the Greatest Generation. They had some steel-ass balls...

rezado said...

FIRS TIE!

urchin said...

A fine post, Snobbie. This is the stuff that makes me glad you are at least occasionally now paid to write.

By the way, where I'm from, beating children appears to be part of the Right About Now still...

c'mon, son!

Stupid Name said...

Again, I have learned things, lots of things, I did not need to know.

What however is "Italian Vegetable Tanned Upper"?
Zuchini/cocaine or large breasted Italian supermodel in a tanning booth, skin?

What is "Killer Firefighter Vibram sole"
This just seems wrong.

You can not buy "street cred", you must have it gifted to you.
That is a fact.

These are the things I think about.

bike locks said...

Too much fodder for one knuckle tattoo. It's not just a buying guide but a survival list for commuting.

Slappy said...

is the street cred a 650? oh and check out what they do in snowwy lands

"Skijoring is a cross between dog sledding and cross country skiing. A dog pulls a skier, who, depending on the terrain, either skis along or brakes. Any dog over 30 lbs can skijor, but it may be hard to find a proper harness for a dog less than 40 lbs. Thick fur and ice resistant pads are important, especially when bushwhacking."

yes yesYES

Anonymous said...

Quick, somebody call PETA!

And while you're at it, get the fashion police on the line, those shoes are terrible.

Ronsonic said...

Brilliant time line. Now all of history has snapped into perspective.

So if that guy in the picture needs to wear a dress shirt, then what the hell is he gonna do about his shoes and socks? Sidis are gonna look good in the office.

thegock said...

STRT CRED

Slappy said...

oh and what better stocking stuffer than tubes? sheesh you could even be real loving and get them tubes with removable valve cores and put some sealent in them too, various sizes, stem lengths, etc. and then fill the whole stocking with baby powder at the end or get lots of different colored patterned bar tape and give everyone a mismatched set.. seat covers of course are always nice, and helmet covers too, and chain condoms

wishiwasmerckx said...

We willingly shell out hundreds to shave a few grams of weight off our bikes, then we're gonna put on a Rapha nutsack made out of leather? Why do jerseys have pockets, anyways? Why do so many non-messengers own Chrome bags? Isn't the saddlebag the ultimate Fred accessory? And if you're gonna sport one, wouldn't you want it to be made out of dernier nylon to save weight?

Unknown said...

Umm... Those shoes are really cute.

Test Tickle said...

STOMPa - you need to settle down.

balls.

rezado said...

100X cooler than pink, open toe, sling backs.

Anonymous said...

AYHSMMB
man-bag
Nice!

Anonymous said...

Nice opening paragraph, but ripping on dumb bike products is getting thin. Maybe it's time to branch out and re-title the blog, "NYC Snob"?

I guess this is the intersection of having a "product" that pillories products -- all of a sudden you've turned your talent into a commodity that has to be stamped out like donuts, or widgets. Ah, success can be painful.

flaco said...

wiwm - You struck a nerve with the Chrome comment. I keep reading here and elsewhere about how all these non messengers have messenger bags they don't need, etc etc. Some things are just a good idea, and as a commuter who sports a messenger bag, I am utterly clueless why it is wrong for me to use one to transport clothes, etc, every day. What would you have me use instead?

Meg said...

Brilliant!

falco said...

anon 1:55 - hello outlier.

Anonymous said...

Nice! Now we need a hipster bike time-line. It looks like they're just starting to discover internal gear hubs which would advance them into the early Olden Days epoch.

OBA said...

Crap - I have one of those cheapo Mercury bikes sitting in the garage - thanks to the new "Street Cred" name, I can only imagine the resale value has just fallen by 50%.

hillbilly said...

street cred is 30 lbs? they throw a kryptonite chain in the box before shipping?

grog said...

Put some mustard on that thing.
Best post ever Snobbie.
Where do you get this stuff? Thanks, and keep the essentials in the scrotum.

Test Tickle said...

flaco - I also thought it was a pretty stupid comment. I've had one for about 6 years and have used it everywhere, including flying on an airplane and taking the bus to work. Flaco is obviously a diehard messenger who wouldn't be caught dead without the "proof" that he is.

I suppose if you were to use a Chrome laptop case you had better be an IT expert/professional, or face his disdain for being such a poser.

balls.

Anonymous said...

I gotta say, as a vet, there are 3 types of dog injuries I see the most:

1. Dogs eating poisonous substances
2. Face/Snout/Eye injuries because irresponsible owners let their dogs hang their heads out of their car window (DO NOT DO THIS PEOPLE)
3. Sprained joints w/ related cardiovascular injuries because people either cycle or roller blade with their dogs.

People...These are domesticated animals that cannot think for themselves, and, you remove some of the instinctive patterns (like stopping for water, or, even just resting) when you take your animal out in this sort of exercise "routine". Not only is it dangerous to those around you (you're looking ahead...not at the animal), but, even more for the animal. This is definitely bad for them.

Test Tickle said...

Shit, sorry, the second Flaco reference was directed towards "wishiwasmerciless"

balls.

reuben said...

Top of your game today, RTMS, Great read!

ringcycles said...

"essentials bag" = dandy sack?Anyone commuting on a high end road bike likely also has a number of cycling jerseys and jackets. Or at least has a place to change into a dress shirt at the office. So the point of the pivot arm shirt is? Oh yes, pretentious preening. Now I remember.

Anonymous said...

@ Test Tickle
I suppose if you were to use a Chrome laptop case you had better be an IT expert/professional, or face his disdain for being such a poser.

You sure they're not mutually exclusive!? I mean a messenger/hipster would rather be caught with an empty Chrome Bag, then, heaven forbid they actually have a job! If the Hasid's have their way in Williamsburg, they might rally to next to get security checkpoints set up along the way, like in Gaza or something. the great Hipster silk route would be backed up as hipsters try to remove any sort of dignifying non-street cred items from their chrome laptop bags, so, that when they approach the checkpoint and are forced to "empty the contents of their bags", they would have nothing but papers and cigarette butts in it. The loss of street cred would be mortifying. It would be like JFK during xmas travel!

Laptop bags are for laptops. messenger bags are for messengers!

$120 Shirt said...

Reminds me of the one about the Russian yuppies from back in the day. One says to the other, "Check out my new tie. Fifty bucks in Paris!" His friend snorts and says "Ha! I bought the same tie in London, and paid $80."

flaco said...

tt - exactly!

Anonymous said...

What strikes me about this post is that beyond the profound history lesson in ironic economics, which I do find hilarious, it is actually just another one of the ubiquitous "gift ideas for (the biker in the family)" lists. It seems to me BSNYC must spend half his time pondering the meaning of life, and the other half surfing the internet for gimmicky bike crap. No wonder he is so critical and grouchy all the time.

Test Tickle said...

and backpacks are for backpackers! and grocery sacks are for grocery getters! and fanny packs are for hippys! and potato sacks are for potatoes! and ball sacks are for....

balls.

OJ said...

Cycling shoes without drillings for cleats? And more importantly, why nobody even notices?

Unknown said...

Am I a sap for thinking that the dress shirt is actually a pretty good idea (though ridiculously over-priced)? Don't answer that question.

But I don't think that the idea sucks.

mikeweb said...

Snob,

The first 2 paragraphs are pure gold.

C'mon son.

Anonymous said...

It isn't clear to me how the dress shirt is different and "biking specific" The copy is pretty vague and abstract and the pictures aren't much help.

Disgruntl Ed. said...

Begging to differ with 1:55, the post is astute and well expressed criticism, and a delight to read. Who else would relate the whole arc of human history to a few of the latest cycling products, and do so with such mordant wit?

Such posts are the antithesis of a commodity. They are the carefully crafted expressions of an thoughtful individual. And they are free to you, the reader.

But I must stop typing this sycophancy. When I type my wrists stick out of my shirtcuffs and get cold.

g said...

Back in the day, we would surf in the winter when the waves were much better, but we had to wear wetsuits. We also would over indulge in things like cheap beer and microwave burritos (non-epic) from the convenience stores near our favorite breaks (brakes?). I, for one, would have loved the 'exhaust' option given that gas, when released into a liquid, will genrally bubble to the top.

bk jimmy said...

Rapha plays fast and loose with the homophones.

Ideal for training and social rides, this latest edition to Rapha’s luggage range is the perfect storage option for those vital cycling items such as tools and valuables.

hillbilly said...

anon 2:32, don't we all though, don't we all....

kale said...

bk jimmy-

not that there's anything wrong with that...



ohh, homoPHONES!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 1:55, I guess that you won't be buying the book when it "drops," then, eh?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Flaco (and TT), you missed my point. I was not criticizing Chrome bags: I own one myself. My point was that the on-the-bike behind-the-saddle bag is generally a badge of Fred-dom. Roadies use jersey pockets, and others use messenger bags or backpacks; all are better alternatives to getting your stuff stolen while your bike is unattended. I was amused that Rapha would glamorize (and overprice and weigh down in the process) a "disfavored" accessory. I hear that next, they are doing a collabo with Dolce abd Gabbana for a line of designer helmet mirrors.

Test Tickle said...

ha! and those mirrors will cost well over $100!

balls.

flaco said...

WIWM - ah yes, reading fail on my part. My apologies.

rezado said...

...and my man bag is for tea bagging.

PhilboydStunge said...

Like the 2000 year old man and the ROUSs, I didn't think that the Dachsund of Time existed. Now I see that it does. Wo!

flaco said...

In that case, I redirect my ire to anon 2:22, who makes the argument I thought WIWM making, and that people often make of people using oversize messenger bags as accessories. Mine is often empty, and then I run errands and fill it. That's why I brought it. I don't think people are generally carrying them to look cool.

Strayhorn said...

Man, I gotta have one of those Craft bodysuits. The improved ventilation for my jet assist will easily shave 2 seconds off my best time.

Fierce Panties said...

I would like to get this thread going again:

Chrome bags are for posers.

Fierce Panties said...

Chrome backpack
Chrome shoes
Chrome knickers
Chrome ibook sleeve
Chrome hat
Outlier pivot sleeve
Nigel Smythe $140 saddle bag
Rapha leather man-sack

Fierce Panties said...

I'm working on my wish list for stuffing my man stocking.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I have to admit that I am a poser with my Chrome messenger bag. Last time I flew, I decided to use my Chrome bag as a laptop sleeve. When I took it out of the overhead bin at the conclusion of the flight, I smacked some guy in the side of the head with the buckle. Oh well, at least I don't fly-fish.

Unknown said...

@ bk jimmy-

Good eye. But isn't that actually a typo? It should read either 'addition to' or 'edition of'. And as hyper-critical as it is around here that sort of thing just won't fly.

hillbilly said...

I often hit my own head with the buckle. hurts.

Radical Rye said...

ugliest pair of bike shoes for women I've ever seen and that's saying something because there are a LOT of them out there.

It's an f-ing high heeled croc! Gross.

Fierce Panties said...

WIWM,
I'm proud to be poser, I own a pair of the Swerve jeans, I bought them back in the day...before the NYT breaking story. If anyone asks I lie and say that I bought them a Performance Bikes clearance.

ant1 said...

i love my saddle bag. it allows me to always have what i need to fix a flat with me without ever having to find, then stuff in my pockets, my tire changing necessities before every ride. it's also a convenient spot to attach (and leave) my tail light. what if i ride another bike you say? well, the other bike also has a fully furnished saddle sac, so i'm covered.

Fierce Panties said...

RR,

I like those shoes. Shaved legs, 2 inch heels, bike nutz, you can make it work.

Fierce Panties said...

ant1
I love my saddle bag. I also check before a ride to make sure that it's snug to the Brooks, symmetrically hung, and zipped.

Fierce Panties said...

Anybody know of a study group forming for tomorrow's quiz?

Anonymous said...

that "street cred" bike is nothing but an "alpha," a fixed-gear machine whose reputation for shittiness doesn't seem to have made it out of philly (unlike the philadelphia eagles, whose reputation for shittiness is known worldwide). to be fair, the original frame designer is a very nice man, but i guess that crazy canuck guy who actually had them shittily fabricated (in china) sold the rights to the design. luckily because of the frame shape you can spot them from very far away and adjust your travel plans accordingly.

kale said...

anyone know if dave z is going to be at the roller races tonight?

Billy Reid said...

ah, had to take a Civil Procedure exam. But, on my way home, i bought me some street cred!

Anonymous said...

never mind, still the same guy, just changed the name. good choice. (?!)

Anonymous said...

I hope Mr. Snob's book somehow comes with a comments section.

hillbilly said...

kale - not "scheduled to appear," but maybe he will take Wiggins place? You goin?

kale said...

I'm just going to write in the margins, and lol to myself (kind of like here).

kale said...

hb,

yeah, I'll be the one with the chrome bag, shoes, and knicker and the nonplussed look.

hillbilly said...

great, I'll look for you, I won't be hard to spot, I bought the sit poll from that guy and haven't figured out how to, um, disengage it yet.

mikeweb said...

hillbilly 'n kale,

Me and my ironic beard will be there also.

mikeweb said...

and I plan on riding there (no, not on the rollers, no sir), so my ironic beard will have icicles hanging from it.

Dog Shot said...

F-ing brilliant post. Bravo.

Anonymous said...

Very funny post as usual. For many situations though I don't believe that the simple rule of, if you don't like it, don't do it, applies. Throughout our existence we've been engineering (things like bikes) to make tasks we don't like more agreeable. In the "olden days" before the bike was invented (assuming you didn't have a horse) and you wanted to take a trip it was a pain to get anywhere. To just not do it is a pretty sad answer. Instead the bike was invented to make getting somewhere less of a pain. I can't speak for outlier shirt, but if it solves a problem so you CAN ride any bike to work with a dress shirt a less shitty experience then great. Apply this to any product. That said, if it doesn't work or the cost makes it a pain then the product is a failure.

bikesgonewild said...

...ah, ha...1st !!!...

...oh, really ???...wow, sad...not even like maybe the tip o' the tail of 'the wiener dog of time', huh ???...

...damn...

flynn said...

So Rapha invented a saddle bag that can't be affixed to a saddle? I'll take 2 of those and one of the cycling caps without an opening for a head.

Anonymous said...

More fine bike-suitable apparel: http://www.newslabel.com:16080/cycle09aw/

Brien said...

> I'm not saying either is the case, but it's a uniquely Right About Now problem to have.

BSNYC, I don't want to overinflate your ego, but you hit the ball out of the man-sack (in a good way) with this post.

Well thought out, great insight. Thank you for doing what you do!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Brien,

Thanks! Don't worry, it'll take a lot more than that to make me feel good about myself.

--BSNYC

Dog Shot said...

DE 2:59 - Also f-ing brilliant. Good day to be reading the Snob.

Tanned vegetable said...

Stupid name: vegetable tanned leather is commonly used in hand made shoes (usually internally like for toe boxes). Bought some today actually along with some horse belly.

Anonymous said...

A purse for a man is a "murse."

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=murse

Fred said...

I'll never understand fashion.

What the hell is wrong with storing a tube and a couple of tools and some advil under your seat?

Also, I wish I knew how to grow my beard more ironically. Am I concentrating too hard?

It's not easy being Fred, despite all your good-natured ribbing.

notriks said...

Speaking of temporal anomalies, I keep getting the Friday Fun Quiz on a Saturday. Must be some sort of internet worm hole.

Minutts R. Cawld said...

Great idea! I'll keep my scrotum in my essentials bag! Thanks Snobby!

Anonymous said...

CRAM BWLS

Anonymous said...

reaching

CommieCanuck said...

I bought street cred off eBay for $25, turned out to be a typo, I got street crud.
Ya know what's interesting? Those daschund epopchs correspond to the tastiest butcher cuts.

rural 14 said...

ant 2nd
hound o antiquity needs a reverse filter
his muzzle went white
eventually...he'll be a purse.
Not haiku?

Anonymous said...

I have had a Stret Cred for about 6 months now-great bike for waaay less than $400 bucks. Beats the heck out of those Dawes,Windsors and SCs. Just don't compare it to more expensive bikes. I had an Alpha Mercury too(stolen) and and it is better than the old one. I wasn't meant for Bike Snobs I guess....

Anonymous said...

"However, if something actually says "Street Cred" on it then you can be sure it doesn't have it."

Is that like Obama saying he accepts the Peace Prize "with humility"?

Kent Johnson said...

Back to the fashion, excellent, even the podium seems to be comparing you to a highly regarded Italian fashion mag.

I think the shirt make sense, as a tall guy I have always had these problems. Those Chick cycling shoes with a conservative 2" heel rock!

Nice work, Thanks Snobby.

Anonymous said...

The bike was/is designed by guys that actually ride on the same crappy streets that I do. It handles well and is as smooth as was promised.So I guess the name is kinda valid.Who cares tho, a good bike at a great price besides they were smart/cool enough to have the decals put on after coating so I got em off and but a few of my own on.

Anonymous said...

Next it will be cool to wear a hydration pack on a road bike.

Unknown said...

It may not be cool, but I wear one when it's hot, no matter what the cool people wearing neon polyester tell me.

Anonymous said...

the price is wrong bitch!

leroy said...

Whew, sorry I'm late. Hope I didn't miss anything.

I was riding in the drops to cheat the wind as I came off the Manhattan Bridge tonight and my shirt sleeves pulled up, exposing my wrists.

Oh why, oh why can't someone make a cycling specific dress shirt?

Odile Lee said...

I have to keep my lame saddlebag. Im so little, if I put the two tubes, the 2 co2 cylinders and gadget, my bike tool with my banana, the phone, my id and some fructose shots - in my jersey pocket - I look like I have a huge growth on my back.
Also,how do guys ride with MBags? I tried once and the damn thing kept slewing under my arm, and hitting my knees. Must be made for you bigger genderways..

Pete H. said...

Good Lord! Each post makes this retro-grouch happier that he's still living 'back in the day' with dead guys like Ken Kifer and Sheldon.

Mr. Snob, you have your work cut out for you.

bikesgonewild said...

...didn't prolly do a line of bikes called "street crud" ???...

Nick said...

patent pending on a fucking sewing pattern

fuck off

Udder said...

Anonymous 8:37 said:

"I have had a Stret Cred for about 6 months now-great bike for waaay less than $400 bucks. Beats the heck out of those Dawes,Windsors and SCs"

Times must be tough for him if $399 is waaay less than $400 because that's what these bikes cost.

FYI: for $400 you can get a whole bike (shifters, gears, brakes that work) with rational frame geometry from the people who sell Dawes, Windsors, etc.

CommieCanuck said...

Is that like Obama saying he accepts the Peace Prize "with humility"?

In unrelated news, George W. Bush won a MacArthur Genius fellowship.

It's all open now, I've officially nominated the inventor of the "Slap-Chop" for the Nobel Prize in physics.

wishiwasmerckx said...

The problem with "pivot sleeves?" They cover your wrists when you are crouched over your handlebars, and they cover your thumbs when you are standing upright. Fussy tailors everywhere are apoplectic.

Rick Donkey said...

It's quite telling that the lavendarway version of the pivot shirt is SOLD OUT.

Some Guy on the Innernets said...

All my bikes have some sort of bag on them. Something to hold a patch kit and tube, at least. Being called a Fred by some dork in a plastic clown suit seems like a compliment to me.

Anonymous said...

Outlier refers to their shirt as a "button down" shirt. "Button down" when describing a dress shirt refers to the style of collar, and this shirt does NOT have a button-down collar.

It has apparently become "hip" to say that any shirt with buttons on the front is a "button-down" shirt. I, for one, will not participate in this form of illiteracy.

rezado said...

fashion school was definitely worth the money.

George Not Hincapie said...

I can appreciate you putting out this kind of thought every effin day. It's tough to do and you're good at it.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I got a dandy seat back bag on my bent. Lots of room for PB & Js

Unknown said...

@Anon 4:05 -- You mean British Andy? Yeah, love him, he's the best.

Now I'm having flashbacks to when I had my secondhand Frankenstien rig stolen on Mischief Night...back in the day.

yyz113 said...

my essentials scrote = saddlebag, so mine's bigger & hangs lower.

by way of further sexual innuendo mindfk, chk this: i rub that shit to bring home the bacon (& eggs, etc.).

Anonymous said...

a dress shirt suitable for biking? What an incredible idea. now if the humanitarian/geniuses at Outlier could just find a solution to death and maiming by cab, stolen bikes and clueless pedestrians maybe people will put those biking dress shirts to good use and commute to work by bike. In the meantime you can just impress your friends by being a early adopter of this amazing cutting edge technology.

PCLA said...

I want to eat a delicious burrito, but I'm not really THAT hungry. Someone should start selling Burrito Nuggets to solve this Modern problem/need.

Anonymous said...

Yah, expensive hipster cycling clothes are stupid! Besides, I'd rather spend $100 on a Patagonia shirt so I can look outdoorsy at the coffee shop.

Matt said...

This post has one of the most pleasing introductions to anything I have ever read. I laughed out loud when I got to "consider the world of cycling", because I've never enjoyed doing so this much before.

Thank you so much snob.

Anonymous said...

I went to the bikesnob.com website, nice site!

Term paper help said...

I must say that overall I am really impressed with this blog.

Unknown said...

Best dissertation writing service