Friday, October 16, 2009

BSNYC Freitag Spaß-Quiz!

In yesterday's post, I mentioned that Tour de France winner Alberto Contador had hired an assistant to make his signature "fingerbang" victory salute for him. Well, not to be outdone, George Hincapie has had his own more traditional victory salute immortalized in portraiture, as you can see in this photo from Hincapie's Twitter which was forwarded to me by a reader:

This painting depicts Hincapie's victory atop the forbidding Pla d'Adet (which is not to be confused with "Sadatay," the famous Pootie Tang exclamation) in the 2005 Tour de France, and the monumental significance of the occasion is highlighted by the fact that it is also being observed from on high by the ruggedly handsome disembodied visage of a celestial Über-Hincapie. Deftly, this painting stops just short of total self-worship while still conveying the notion that Hincapie's sporting exploits are orchestrated not by a Godlike higher power but are instead the earthly manifestation of some sort of Platonic ideal Hincapie who exists on a higher plane where steer tubes don't break and crabon wheelsets can withstand the punishing roads of Paris-Roubaix. Here's another photo of the painting which better conveys its grand scale:

According to Hincapie, the painting has been sold in a charity auction, and while he doesn't name the purchaser I like to think that it's his former teammate and noted art enthusiast Lance Armstrong, and that this painting now hangs above his hearth. I'm also quite sure that Alberto Contador is fuming over this painting right now, and that he's already commissioned an oil painting of himself surrounded by a flock of cherubic winged "fingerbangs." It will look something like this, only with a bunch of flying finger pistols instead of angels and Contador in place of the Madonna and the Baby Jesus.

Speaking of "fingerbanging," I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right, you'll know it, and "fingerbanging" will be justified on your part. (Or, if you're Alberto Contador, on your "fingerbang" assistant's part.) However, if you're wrong, you'll see bloodthirsty Finnish cyclists.

Thanks very much for reading and for forwarding delightful items. Ride safe, and may your weekend provide you with ample opportunity for celebratory "fingerbanging."

--BSNYC/RTMS

(Subaquatic "fingerbangers" photo found here.)






2) In which city was this note spotted?

--New York City
--Chicago



3) "Hold the Mayo!" A person by the name of Mayonnaise is allegedly responsible for the brazen theft of a:




4) "Goodbye, track racers. Hello, hipsters!" Which venerable bicycle company has officially re-categorized all of its track bikes as "urban fixed gears" for 2010?





6) There is such a thing as a fixed-gear lamp:

--True
--False




7) This Portland hipster was arrested for:





8) This cyclist is hauling a mattress, but the real payload is smugness on:

--Streetsblog
--Fixedgeargallery
--Xtracyclegallery
--Cargobikegallery





9) Which bicycle manufacturer has made a frame with an integrated crabon fiber carrying strap?

--Colnago
--Bianchi


10) "Watch out, Rapha!" Which bicycle-themed clothing and accessory company is now selling a snap-on scarf?

--Fabric Horse
--Cadence




***Special "Mysterious Leavings"-Themed Bonus Question***

I left a ________ on your bike - m4w (Carroll Gardens)
Date: 2009-10-14, 1:08AM EDT

I was walking home on Tuesday night around midnight and you were locking up your bike to a street sign. We smiled, and you skipped away. I came back to leave a _____________________________, all sneaky. When I walked by again on Wednesday, the bike was still there but the ____ was gone. I must know: did the wind take my carefully-crafted ________, or did you?


What did he leave on her bike?


79 comments:

DoNotReact said...

please check out/comment on

http://www.bertellibici.com/index.php

ben miracle said...

andy

Asterisk said...

podium?

Anonymous said...

Almost Podium Chad Woo Hoo

Anonymous said...

Say Hi to Brian Chad !

rezado said...

Man, I love freitag...wait...

c murder said...

H1N1!

jon said...

Now THIS is Fum!

Anonymous said...

top 10?

Astroluc said...

top10

Anonymous said...

http://www.bertellibici.com/index.php
= G A Y

ed said...

got an 0-fer on the quiz BUT I got top 12 in da comments!!!!!!!!!!!!-Read the whole post to boot!

BADD QZZR

Astroluc said...

wow, I kind of bonked at the end of that quiz... 4 wrong in a row;

anyway -- I like the crude drawing the girl drew in her c/l ad a few weeks back more than that Hincapie painting; the composition is similar to a bad 80s yearbook photo sans the laser effects... but maybe those have yet to be added.

Anonymous said...

bang bang bang bang
i'm gonna fingerbang-bang you into my life!

rezado said...

Ich liebe Freitag. Guten Tag Herr.

Fingerbang band said...

the real fingerbang

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLS_HARAYZQ

DoNotReact said...

I dunno about GAY but it's wack some guy is charging a yard-and-a-half for the "look"... especially the wooden handlebars.

Bad Lawyer said...

Does she say, "you can be killed in a hitting accident."

Snobster-speak has a Finnish derivation?

mikeweb said...

Guten tag alles mein frauleinen

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Bad Lawyer said...

...and the Silvio Bike is pretty rockin'--so aggressive that the rider's helmet is blown dangerous backward in sort of devil-may-care attitude! Wow. Now I gotta go back and look at the trike.

Anonymous said...

All you haters suck my finger-bang?

Baggy Pant Ultegra said...

Not Colnago too! - sure sign of the impending apocalypse. Companies should dictate what we want not the other way round damn focus groups to slimy chamois hell.

Billy Reid said...

its funny that bertelli spent all morning refreshing the blog so he could get the first post and promote his crappy, cookie-cutter, i-could-could-make-one-with-the-spare-parts-in-my-closet, piece o' shite hipster transporters

Anonymous said...

bottom scrodium

Udder said...

Hincapie isn't celebrating victory in that painting, he's raising his hands to say "I give up." His lack of victories, despite his talent and fitness proves this. Nice guy, yes. Winner, no.

Anonymous said...

FISH TATT

Charles said...

Pla d'Adet (which is not to be confused with "Sadatay," the famous Pootie Tang exclamation)

Dude! I stand in awe.....

mikeweb said...

Only 6 right.

And slipped on a cold, wet steel plate before the line.

Actually, I kinda enjoyed the ride in this a.m., bundled up in my scarf... actually don't remember seeing a single salmon either. They must've migrated upstate. I saw that one on my last "epic" ride up there...

Anonymous said...

biciclette assemblate = cappello dell'asino

Anonymous said...

Cannot decide if the Hincapie self-adulation thing is weak or disturbing.

But, leads me to imagine similar "painting" with:
• Jimmy J.J. Dyn-O-Mite Walker* as inspirational figure (head) in the upper left
• same layout
• Contador on the bike

_________
* Ref Jimmy Walker on David Letterman, Jan 13 2009
(no clip on youtube or cbs, at present)
relaying anecdote of being jettisoned (asked to leave) from Best Western hotel in Seattle for use of offhand, non-threatening "finger gun".

.

mikeweb said...

Snob,

I'm surprised that the Hincapie/ Hincapie as deity painting didn't remind you of this. Sort of in the same vein...

Judi said...

do you still check your yahoo email?

Anonymous said...

9 for 11. Almost. Bikesnob, you have to work "Radonneur" into your lexicon, example use here: http://www.mapmyride.com/user/1492441/SprocketGirl

Anonymous said...

That Silvio ad copy looks suspiciously like the ad copy for Arrogant Bastard:

http://www.arrogantbastard.com/index2.html

broomie said...

Damn, I was fingerbanged and creamed on that quiz!

Anonymous said...

bmx on the trainer.

CommieCanuck said...

This reads well like this:
I was walking home on Tuesday night around midnight and you were locking up your bike to a street sign. We smiled, and you skipped away. I came back to leave a turd, all sneaky. When I walked by again on Wednesday, the bike was still there but the turd was gone. I must know: did the wind take my carefully-crafted turd, or did you?

CommieCanuck said...

do you still check your yahoo email?

Yes, he just ignores crazy people.

Visegripmikey said...

Hi all, I'm trying out blogging - I won't be nearly as prolific as bsnyc, but I digress:

http://visegripmikey.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

A better craigslist post:

"we walked around park slope and then we jacked off in the park"

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/mis/1420312252.html

Surly Bastard said...

35 mph?

The Finns fly, don't they?

Anonymous said...

Oh - you funny New Yorkers. Lance has *fireplaces.* It's amusing that you assume he has only one. The other fireplaces in his Manhattan block sized Architectural Digest published home offer plenty of display space for his other former teammate's portraits.

fingerbang assistant said...

observed from on high by the ruggedly handsome disembodied visage of a celestial Über-Hincapie

When I grow up I want to be both disembodied and celestial...

Anonymous said...

Wir machen Spaß, ja voll!

bikesgonewild said...

...ya, ya...nice portrait george but there oughta been occasion for about six more "big ones" like that, in yer stellar career...

...still a fan but just sayin'...

mikeweb said...

SB, judging by the video I believe they confused 35 mph with 35 kph.

Anonymous said...

Not sure I understand the marketing approach of Cruzbike. If your marketing copy alienates recumbent riders, who exactly do you expect to buy the bike? Both the bike and the copy are good for a laugh though...

rezado said...

Are hipsters using skipping as a secondary mode of transport?

Anonymous said...

Ah, the Friday Spaz Quiz!

It's like the joke about the old VW ad hook, "Fahrvergnügen -- it's where the car and driver become one."

We have a word for that in English: accident.

randalputnam said...

Didn't have to go far into Cruzbike's site to find this gem: "capable of being fitted with the latest Shimano Durace." Good, but I would have enjoyed Duhrace more. Oh well!

leroy said...

Anon 3:49 --

Multiple fireplaces?

Oh sure, and next y'all will start braggin' on the indoor plumbing.

Mikeweb --

Before riding this AM, I asked myself: WWJD?

"What Would Jill (Homer of Up In Alaska fame) Do?

All -- no matter who you ask, ride safe this weekend. Especially if the Tour de Bronx doesn't get postponed.

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The swarthy guy said...

A clip-on scarf?

baisecon said...

The copy for the recumbent is almost the exact same thing as for Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale.


http://www.arrogantbastard.com/index2.html

belmont sledgehammer said...

So what DOES that extra carbon tube do? Is it really for attaching a bag as snob suggests? I mean, the bag is designed to attach to top & seat tubes. And the caption correctly pointed out that it wouldn't aid in carrying the bike itself.

And in an unrelated note, I'd sorta like to see if I couldn't set that fish stabbing hipster up w/ MY ex, who just happens to have a couple of real annoying pugs...

Reed Enwright said...

LIME RICK

Red neckerson said...

You commenters ain't given me much to work with today

so fuck you

Carp said...

I'm listening to Mastadon while I read this. Does that mean I'm a hipster? Even if I live in South Dakota?

superfan said...

this dude looks just like the dude who stabbed the fish, ironically it was an add next to his mugshot
http://ads.oregonlive.com/RealMedia/ads/Creatives/OREGONLIVE/Symphony11_OR_News_Rect/OrSym_OrLive_Bach_300x250_0910.jpg

Big Dummy Lemont said...

Does "Hincapie" mean "knucklehead" en espanol?

Anonymous said...

Is that an extra carbon tube or are you just happy to see me?

Ouch! George Hincapie's quads are unravelled.

All you haters suck my snap-on scarf.

Have a nonplussed weekend.

Anonymous said...

just wanted to say, in thishighly opiated, cognaced state that I'm in, that I enjoy your blogway.

Anonymous said...

The Cruz Silvio site touts Maria Parker's UMCA record 241-mile ride in 12 hours. An achievement, to be sure, but consider that in 1967 Beryl Burton recorded 277.52 miles in a 12-hour event. Available pictures of Burton in action suggest she typically palped an unfaired diamond-frame bike.

Snarkus said...

here are some great tips on how to make your trek look really silly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar6mIC-pvaM

Bluenoser said...

Annon 17th 12:15pm,

Thanks for the Beryl Burton tip. There is lots to learn from each other.

-B

samh said...

Smug, baby.

Anonymous said...

Is that Hincapie's reaction to Alberto's virulent stick 'em up fingerbang, or is he just practicing for his second career as a Pop Warner ref?

yogisurf said...

Great Quiz. The irony continues day after day...

Anonymous said...

Those cruzbikes may be the worst thing ever created, but I had a regular customer that used a full suspension trek to convert, then got the regular thing. They are fun to test ride through the parking lot.

bikesgonewild said...

...1:28 pm - nyc time...

...while everything looks dead on this, fridays post, the tension of those awaiting monday's post & podium is fucking palpable...

bikesgonewild said...

...auto-refreshers for some, twitchy mouse fingers posed & constantly hitting the little blue arrowed circle for others...

...hearts in throat..."is this gonna be 'the day' ???...can i beat the obviously drug fueled ant1 & his ant1st or will i be relegated to pack fodder once again ???"...

...tension is mounting...

hillbilly said...

ok, now i'm starting to worry....

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