Impromptu vigils broke out around the world, from Portland, Ore., where fans organized a one-gloved bike ride (“glittery costumes strongly encouraged”) to Hong Kong, where fans gathered with candles and sang his songs.
Now, I realize Portland considers itself the home of "bike culture," and I'm sure it's a lovely place to ride a bike, but seriously--it's enough already. Is there any news or pop cultural event around which the people of Portland will not form some sort of kitchy theme ride? Do they just sit around waiting for things to happen or for people to die so they can put on stupid outfits and jump on their bikes? Also, where do they find the time? This ride had already happened before the Times even managed to complete its report. And while the people of Portland apparently have plenty of time on their hands, they are less endowed when it comes to dignity. Just look at this thing:
I realize Portland is a very progressive place when it comes to riding bikes, but I can't help thinking that they may have set the cause of cycling back to about the Michael Jackson x Mick Jagger "collabo" days. If I were not already a cyclist and I was headed to a bike shop to purchase my very first bicycle, and on the way I saw a bunch of people riding around dressed like Michael Jackson, I'd probably rethink the whole thing and start pricing motorcycles instead.
Then again, maybe the people of Portland do have it right after all. Here in New York City I was honked at by a driver this morning who seemed annoyed by the simple fact that I was riding in the bike lane. The driver was blasting "Billie Jean," and the crappy Buick he was driving probably rolled off the lot at about the same time that the song first hit the airwaves:
As irritating as this was, I opted not to chide him, and instead simply left him to wallow in his grief and rotundity.
Alas, while we no longer have Michael Jackson, we still have his music. More importantly, we still have both "Weird" Al Yankovic and his music, so things could be a hell of a lot worse.
With that said, I ask that you set aside any grief you may have and try to focus on a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see "So So Vegan."
Ride safe this weekend, and have a "collabo" with enjoyment.
1) Taints rejoice! Finally, a saddle you can:
2) Nice colorway! This crank is on a bicycle that is a "collabo" between:
--Fort x Philadelphia Flyers
--Ridley x Reese's Pieces
--Blue x NASCAR
--Cannondale x Halloween
3) If you're a "hater," which beverage might you be most likely to enjoy?
--Honeydew Bubble Tea
--Pabst Blue Ribbon
--Genesee Cream Ale
4) What is not included with this "Campy Track Crankset," for sale on Craigslist?
--A Campagnolo left crank arm
--The "OG box"
--Crank arm bolts
--An actual Campagnolo track crankset
5) Forget fixed-gear conversions. The hot new thing is changing your bike into:
--a cargo bike
--a Dutch city bike
6) The "epic" pie plate on this Mavic R-Sys, if placed on a phonograph, plays "La vie en rose" by Edith Piaf:
7) Complete this knuckle tattoo: EPIC ____:
8) Fixed-gears lend themselves well to wacky sound-effects.