Wednesday, June 3, 2009

All You Riders Flog My Product: Epics in the Service of Publicity

As cyclists, I think we can all agree that it can sometimes be quite enjoyable to occasionally take a ride that's longer than the ones we usually take. Whether or not you choose to call this ride an "epic" is up to you, but underneath all the evocative language and imagery the fundamental truth is we like to spend time on our bikes. Furthermore, whether you find Rapha's presentation of the "epic" ride seductive or pretentious, I think we can also agree that when it comes to taking long rides the Rapha Continental do it right. No, I don't mean that you need a Richard Sachs frame and a pair of $200 bibs to take a long ride, nor do I mean it needs to be documented in black and white photography and recounted in overwrought prose later. I simply mean that if you're going to spend five or six hours riding on the road and you don't need to carry any clothing or supplies with you, a road bike, a pair of cycling shorts, and a jersey is a pretty good choice.

However, some riders have a different way of approaching the "epic." For them, an "epic" ride isn't pushing themselves and their equipment as far and as hard as possible. Instead, it involves simply using the wrong equipment altogether. One group of riders selling this version of the "epic" is Nabiis, who have undertaken what they call the "Tour de Taiwan," and they're doing it on fixed-gears:








Now you might think that track bicycles equipped with riser bars of the sort normally used by urban cyclists to cover short distances and perform unimpressive tricks would be a bad choice for a longish road ride, and from the looks of their times it seems you'd be right. Here's how they fared on day one:


Please note I've converted the data from pretentious to cumbersome for the convenience of my fellow Americans. As you can see, the Nabiis crew managed to cover a distance of 51 miles in roughly three and a half hours, making their average speed about 15mph. To put this in context, on May 24th Rapha had one of their "Gentlemen's Races" in upstate New York, in which various six-person teams from the region covered a distance of roughly 120 miles. The winning team, Empire, finished in five hours and 28 minutes. The last place team, HUP United, finished in eight hours and 15 minutes complete with a rider who had never ridden over 100 miles before.

So what does this mean? Well, given the fact that HUP averaged about the same speed as the Nabiis riders over some significant climbs for well over twice the distance, it means that Nabiis might want to consider rethinking their choice of bicycle. Sure, I realize Nabiis aren't necessarily racing or even trying to finish quickly, but if that's the case why are they posting finishing times and riding with a follow car? Even the Rapha riders don't have support. The only conclusion I can draw is that they're trying to prove that hipster bikes make pretty bad road bikes, and in that respect they've succeeded admirably. Either that, or they don't want to tire themselves out for the post-stage stunting sessions:

In that respect though, I suppose doing a half-assed road ride and then doing some half-assed tricks all in the same day and on a bicycle ill-suited to both could be considered "epic."

Speaking of riser bars, the latest reason I've been hearing often for using them on fixed-gears (besides freestyling) is that they let you see over traffic. This is ridiculous. Firstly, people drive enormous cars these days, and unless you live in a town where everybody drives a DeLorean there's no way you're seeing over traffic unless you're riding a tall bike--and that's to say nothing of all the vans, trucks, and buses. If a high vantage point made a better city bike then we'd all still be riding p-fars. Secondly, even if you could see over traffic, why would you want to? When you ride in the city the most important thing by what's happening a few feet in front of you, particularly with regard to the road surface. It's no good craning your neck to see what's happening down the block if you're going to ride right into a pothole or a storm grate. Plus, you don't need to see over the cars, you need to see between them. You're riding through traffic, not over it. Then again, when you've got no brakes and it takes you half a block to stop, I guess you need to see as far down the street as possible. Maybe Soma can make an urban periscope. In fact, the reason you can't see over traffic is because everyone's driving SUVs so they can see over traffic, and you can see how well that turned out for everybody.

Of course, well before Nabiis set out on the "Tour de Taiwan," MASH already proved that track bikes make bad road bikes by riding the Tour of California stages on them:

Yes, the track bike is beautifully simple, but sometimes simplicity is complexity--especially when you need to stop yourself with your foot on a descent after dropping your chain. Actually, in this case, simplicity has leapfrogged over complexity and gone right to absurdity.

Furthermore, MASH seem to be positioning themselves as the fixed-gear Rapha. Just take a look at the copy for this "epic"-themed t-shirt:


One of the most beautiful moments in cycling is when riders are climbing up a mountain pass with their explosive energy and descending down to a valley floor with equally explosive power. There is a sense of sublime that bring us closer to the most primal part of nature within us. For this shirt, I wanted to create a single-minded design that captures this sense of sublime and to commemorate their incredible effort that went into riding the Tour of California by MASH riders on their fixed gear bikes this Spring. It was an epic attempt to provide all of us with much needed courage and possibilities to live our lives with beauty and simplicity.

Wow, that's a lot of words for picture of a mountain with an explosion on the top. Actually, my understanding of successful road riding is that you're not supposed to blow up on the climb. Being able to downshift on the ascent and upshift on the descent instead of stomping up one side and frantically spinning down the other can go a long way towards preventing this from happening. Throw a couple of brakes into the bargain and you won't even have to peform a "foot jam" if something goes wrong.

Even those "Albion in the Gloaming" guys are palping derailleurs on their own iteration of the "epic." As you can see from their site, they're well under way, and they don't seem to be rubbing the bikes from the bird-miming video:



While I'm pleased to see they seem to be riding relatively sensible bikes, I hope they realize doing so is not a good way to get attention--especially if they want to sell something. That's why I'm planning my own publicity-seeking "epic," in which I'm going to ride across the country on a singlespeed mountain bike. 50 gear inches, 30psi, and absolutely no point.

132 comments:

Anonymous said...

winner?

Anonymous said...

Woot who ?

ant1 said...

ant1st!

TortugaGuy said...

2nd?

Anonymous said...

letme vipodium!!!!!!

monoarchitect said...

yessssss

rezado said...

tom-foolery

mikeweb said...

top 10?!?

Surly Bastard said...

Top ten! Where's my Rapha?

jon said...

Get out and push

mikeweb said...

Anonymous winners don't count.

AYAWSMB

Nice job ant1!

letme vipodium said...

bummer....sadness....fifth place is fourth loser. I should have drank my No Fear juice....NONE FEAR

Luck E. Seven said...

CHARLIE DON'T SCHLUFF!!


A

Anonymous said...

Da chunk
Denied

Anonymous said...

Di Luca!

Call the family doctor: time for a flu shot...

Anonymous said...

Off road unicycle, sans saddle. Pure zen.

Anonymous said...

Snob, can I join you? I'll be riding my unicycle, of course. Shouldn't slow us down too much.

Anonymous said...

What do city fix gear riders do in the city when the chain breaks. Do they head toward the nearest pedestrian to slow their speed?

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

Aske said...

Cipolini = Siffredi

hillbilly said...

way to go ant1.!

now in my own personal race to beat disgruntled to the punch

. "If high a vantage point made a better city bike then we'd all still be riding p-fars. Secondly, even if you could see over traffic, why would you want to? When you ride in the city the most important thing by what's happening a few feet in front of you"

and you were on such a roll..... (if high a.....by what's...?)

anyone go swimming at floyd bennett yesterday?

Surly Bastard said...

I take back all the horrible things I said about the Gloamers.

Kurt Vonnegut is King said...

Looking at the MASH rider's rear hub, it appears that he has a huge cog on the flip-side.

I would presume this gear is for climbing. So the explosion at the mountain summit is likely a cover for Criss Angel to sneak in and "upshift" for him.

mikeweb said...

"For this shirt, I wanted to create a single-minded design that captures this sense of sublime and to commemorate their incredible effort that went into riding the Tour of California by MASH riders on their fixed gear bikes this Spring"

This was an 'epic' use of an adjective as a noun.

mikeweb said...

Agreed, SB! One of them actually e-mailed me over the weekend after my 'skull cracking open' comment last week. They seem like a nice coupla people.

Will Handsfield said...

Top 30, and be careful about denigrating cross country fixed gear MTB riders. My good friend Dave is about to make his fourth attempt at the Tour Divide, self supported on his Fixed MTB from Mexican to Canadian border. Follow the adventure yourself on his blog - cellarrat.blogspot.com

He's a true champ.

Anonymous said...

Champ or chump?

rezado said...

BSNYC,

Fraternizing with people who are wearing primal jerseys and have multi-colored tape on their bars. Very sneaky...sir? Did you have to pay the woman?

SWIN DLED
DECE IVED

ant1 said...

A friend of mine rides a rigid fixed gear brakeless 29er mtb bike, and faster then I ride with gears and brakes. I'm such a pussy. Although he doesn't come close to my BSNYC comments race skills. To each his own.

Disgruntl Ed. said...

Beaten, fair and square.

Is that Yoda-speak, by the way? I never learned it.

That picture on the t-shirt is worth all those words? I don't like the picture that much. How about just printing the following text on the shirt itself:


beauty courage simplicity
the sublime

Add to cart.

Anonymous said...

ant1 - that sounds like the dumbest thing imaginable (fixie mtb). sure, for novelty maybe, but what happens on a an extremely long descent at high elevation? snail trail..... see you at the bottom dude, hope you have ice for your knees.

Anonymous said...

hey BS,
Check out why this guy is selling his tandem........
Great Stuff!!

http://boston.craigslist.org/bmw/bik/1203455531.html

-Brendan

Anonymous said...

I saw a few of those fixed-gear guys coming down the mountain during the Mt Palomar stage. One of them was coming around a corner skip-skidding at about 35mph. I was momentarily impressed but then quickly overwhelmed with the stupidity of it.

Isolation Helmet said...

I have a few friends that like to complete epic rides on fixies. Of course they also use drop bars and brakes. For them it is just to challenge their ability to finish. They have no illusion that it is the best bike for the ride. The thing that really sets them apart is that they have no website and don't hope to sell anything.

sufferist said...

Again, RAAM on a fixed-gear = epic, making it up the 4% grade hill to Cafe Fabulous to self-congratulations over a Espresso Con Panna, not so much....

Anonymous said...

anon 1:58 - i bet that was great for the trail too! and making friends with multi-users ... one blown-out, rutted corner at at time!

Anonymous said...

sorry, at "a" time.

ant1 said...

anon 1:55 - it's not his only mt bike, he uses it mostly on easier, not super hilly, trails. He's got a level of fitness and skill that makes a lot of the issues I would have with such a ride mostly moot. He in no way claims that "it's the only way to ride" or anything, it's just something to do to spice up his riding every now and then. A sort of epicifying, if you will.

Luck E. Seven said...

Sounds like a new personal best for Mehg...


A

jolene said...

what will those orientels think of next hugh down at the crysler delarship tolt me that they done will own us all and if that means i have to ride a hippie bike insted of geres then so be it i still have my mikes hard lemonaid and grass so who cares i jus hope they dont make red angery cus hes gets a little jacked up when he heres me scream and i do that alot

i dont get it

Anonymous said...

epic fixie-riding is enhanced by carrying a rucksack in one hand, tweeting with the other

Anonymous said...

Thank you! The truth is waaay funnier than stuff people make up!

Nathalie A. said...

Fixed gear MTB is a worse idea than downhill unicycling, tall bike cyclocross, or P-far tt... as it's useless but not nearly as comic.

bikesgonewild said...

..."when pretentiousness & bad taste are not enough --- it's time for the ---
...***bikesgonewild SMUT Pedaler Collection***...

...Seriously Motivated Utility Transportation...it involves you, it involves bicycles & it's the *s*m*u*t* pedaler way...

...look, every ride is epic in yer book because, let's face it, son, yer ego weighs a ton...or else you'd be riding the bus...

...so, don't be an assos, raph...
...dress right & ride right w/ a name you can trust...whether we're sourcing silk or potato sacks, the bgw smut pedaler collection will have you stylin' w/ the best"
...

...may be coming soon to a bike shop near you...

ant1 said...

Nathalie - What exaclty is the use of regular mountainbiking? I would argue that whatever use it has is also found in fixie mtbing.

Anonymous said...

I'll be schluffing cross-state on a unicycle built for two later this summer. Look for the Youtube video!

worm irks said...

On my commute home yesterday, which is normally only a 20 minute ride, I stopped at a supermarket slightly out of the way, loaded panniers with stuff like oranges and soba noodles. Then I strapped a bag of rice and a crate of 18 mangos on top of the rack. I rode the rest of the way home. There was no bad weather, mud, murderous Babylonians or anything sit-up-and-notice sublime. I didn't have to hurl mangos at any SUVs.

This is the only document of that ride home.

Epic?

ant1 said...

worm - if I ever rode with that much shit on my bike, I would consider it epic. If you regularly stop by the epicerie on the way home, I would say it's not epic.

Anonymous said...

Bonking is requisite of epic rides and with all those carbs on board, there is no way that you could have bonked.

EPIC FAIL

Nice try though...

porc-épic said...

Salut, salauds!

Anonymous said...

NICE EFRT

d said...

That bikehugger article didn't say anything about seeing OVER traffic, just seeing traffic..

ringcycles said...

Since "bonking" is a requirement of the "epic ride", wouldn't consuming enough pastries and brie be the best remedy? Thus the true definition of "epicure". Motto: "I eat therefore I ride."

Anonymous said...

It's really funny I've just arrived about 2 months ago as a teacher in Korea and I've been riding fixed gears for about 4 years in the US, a fixie can be fun. I'm no hipster by any means and all the long distance rides I've done have been on a road bike. I'm completely against the spiritual zen/consumer enlightening, but the fixed gear trend has just arrived in Korea. It's like I've gone bad in time and relived the awaking of shit. The "epic" rides I've gone on in Seoul are usually only around 5 to 10 miles. Then we do some "tricks" smoke cigarettes, take photos for a bikeshop blog, and pass out merchandise(usually stickers)to interested observers. On this side of the world, in some places the fixed gear apocalypse has just begun.

Anonymous said...

There is also thrift shop Rapha for those so inclined.

mikeweb said...

In my younger years, I was on a long training ride - nothing epic, mind you. Being young and stupid, I didn't take enough to eat and started bonking, though oddly not painfully so. No, this episode was marked by "loss of cognition" as someone with more education than myself might say.

At one point in the last 5 miles, while riding by a field with a horse, my mind told me that it would make perfect sense to give my body the energy it needed by going into the field and taking a bite out of the horse, as if it was a giant Powerbar or something. Sort of like in a cartoon when something or someone morphs into a giant doughnut.

I didn't follow through on that thought, thus that particular ride was not epic.

Anonymous said...

Did Charlton Heston in the epic "Ben Hur" ride a fixed gear chariot?

hillbilly said...

well, it is a mane source of protein. hoof, that one hurt...had a kick to it.

wow, i really know how to fuck up what was a good story.

Anonymous said...

Mikeweb has roadkill ever appealed to you on an epicurean level?

mikeweb said...

anon 3:41

Never. I'm am an apex predator.

bikesgonewild said...

...oh great...just been informed by my patent attorney that the "bikesgonewild SMUT Pedaler Collection" might not be a wise choice of names...

...same thing he said last year about my bicycle transported media & entertainment company & it's moniker --- Sure Hits In Transit..."get ready...the s.h.i.t. is gonna hit the fans"...

...i'll get it right one a' these days...

...just sayin'...

frilly said...

And that Rainier didn't shave his legs either. Seriously.

Jim said...

Fixed MTB'ers - I'd say they're just like fixie hipsters, except for three things - the ones I've known tend to be super dedicated cyclists, most of them are faster than shit off a shovel, and when you can ride MTB as well as they can (faster than most geared or single speeders) brakes are optional in most terrain.

So really I guess they are nothing at all like the hipsters.

hillbilly said...

mike- did you ever read 'the scavenger's guide to haute cuisine' - great book

kale said...

Anon 3:21

Thanks, I've got this bitch on lock from that link.

Spork, here I come!

mikeweb said...

hillbilly, I have not read that one.

Maybe I should, the other day I started salivating at the sight of a limping pigeon...

BGW, I beg to differ with your patent attorney, those trade names are the B.O.M.B.

Anonymous said...

Kale, I just threw up a little in my mouth. At least the cheeseburger I had for lunch wasn't bad the second time around...

Anonymous said...

If you keep your cadence around 90rpm
with a 50" gear you should still be faster than those people of the tour de taiwan.

Anonymous said...

I think the Tour de Brooklyn (this Sunday) is faster than the Tour de Taiwan.

Anonymous said...

tour de taiwan = lame ride around tiny island that is going to be China again. Times up.

Anonymous said...

I flick buggers at hipsters!

grog said...

me too, turkey twice around.
kale, would you delaware that new jersey in new york? alaska now.

Dee Kellan said...

HUP United may have come in last place, and she did break down in tears, but she finished gutted it out and they were pretty cool to hang in there with her. Thanks for posting that!

bikesgonewild said...

...mikeweb...now that's a particular coincidence, re: the b.o.m.b...

...when i used to ride over & spend the night w/ my last girlfriend, in the morning i used to say "baby, yer the b.o.m.b."...

...what i was really thinkin' was "ya...the bitch oughta make breakfast"...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

I'll be schluffing cross-state on a unicycle built for two later this summer.

Last year at the Albq. Century I saw a young lady doing the 50 mile option on a unicycle. And on the Santa Fe Century there is a transsexual who palps a scooter. Yes, a push scooter. Finishes, too. Although this year she showed up in this recumbent buggy contraption...I should have taken pictures.

hillbilly said...

anyone want to get in on the inane comment fun?
http://gothamist.com/2009/06/03/video_cops_ticket_more_critical_mas.php#comments

see rolltide near the bottom.

Luck E. Seven said...

Anon 3:18-

Umm, what do you teach?

Bad grammar and cigarettes. . .
Must be shop.


A

Jim said...

Dee, don't shed any tears for MegA-Deau. She's no rocket over 120 miles (yet), but you probably don't want to tangle with her in a 'cross race. The girl can ride.

Anonymous said...

Tour "de" Taiwan? Maybe they belong in "le locker" along with "le George". I guess Tour of Formosa wasn't epic enough.
And how did zen get wedged in here?
However, zen guy Gary Synder was quoted recently in the New Yorker as saying, "Like the rock climbers say, having fun doesn't mean you have to have fun". I guess that is apropos. Well, off to do some epic grimace intervals in front of the mirror before I take an epic nap.

bikesgonewild said...

...mikeweb...in retrospect, i bombed on b.o.m.b...

...you gave me a setup & screwed the pooch...

...i guess i coulda "trashcanned" it & pretended it didn't happen but hey...if i fuck up, i fuck up...i try, but sometimes it's "c'est la vie"...

...but i stand by my two company names...i think they've got potential...

Anonymous said...

tour de mimosa

Anonymous said...

Anon 4:59: I think you mean that he/she palps a scooter. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Anonymous said...

Fuck mimosas! Jack and Crack for me!

Anonymous said...

crack n peanut butter sammiches

Slappy said...

SNObby, ride your SS to SSWC and you'll get a real special somethin'.. & here's epic stuff from velosnooze

"How meaningful was, say, Tour de France contender Eugène Christophe’s carrying his heavy steel bike down the Col du Tourmalet and repairing the forks at a blacksmith’s forge? Or did the survivors of “epic” editions in Paris-Roubaix really deserve the lavish praise heaped upon them by an adoring media?
http://velonews.com/article/76639

Yeah yeah whatev. epic this epic that.. ride with your eyes closed, thats pretty epic

Johnny Sprocket said...

It's a fine line between an 'epic ride' and a circle jerk.

cyclotourist said...

MASH T-Shirt gives me flashbacks to my implanted Thetan memories.
God damn Tom Cruise, get out of the closet!

d. fofonov said...

"Epic" for me of course is reading Anna Karinina backwards so I am not so familiar with American usage. I am thinking perhaps maybe my ride across the Trans-Siberian Railway in winter on a dual-suspension mountain bike, and American model called the Hefty, is being epic, especially when penis of mine frozen and would not soften for three days.

I think so maybe no that epic rides are not epic if you are using perfectly natural and should be legal dietary supplements to enhance performance and harden erections.

It is not seeming that I am arousing too much conscientiousness, although webmaster is saying there is increase when I reported penis frozen for three days.

Kurt Vonnegut is King said...

What a coincidence to have seen the following today described as an "epic airbag nutshot".

Behold "epic" from an aspiring automotive engineer's point of view:

http://tinyurl.com/oroxmb

Zachy said...

riding my bike home from work yesterday, 2 different flies flew into the same eyeball (the left). First thought was "bummer". Second thought was "epic".

serious racer guy said...

doing raam solo on my square wheeled fixie.

Anonymous said...

"Epic" is what you call a night out that involves alcohol, women and waking up in your own, or someone elses, urine!

ringcycles said...

As May just past and July looms ahead, lets remember that the Tour de France and the Giro were raced on flip flop hubs for 30 years. That is until Tullio Campagnolo said to himself in the middle of an over-geared climb "this shit is stupid, there's got to be a way to use more than 2 gears if I am going to race for 3 weeks over these god forsaken roads". Thus the rear derailleur for race bikes was conceived.

Before I am accused of it, I am NOT trying to flog Campy, just provide a little historical perspective on the inane idea of racing a fixed gear bike for thousands of kms, thereby reversing 80 years of cycling history.

Anonymous said...

Eight-years-old -- coaster-brake bike (many years ago). Descended my favorite hill in an attempt to attain world-record speed. Dropped chain -- discovered I couldn't stop (riding with bare feet) -- a few seconds of horrible terror. Smashed into the guard rail at bottom of the road (that dead-ended at a briny, polluted bay) -- woke up to find myself sprawled out on barnacle-covered rocks. I wasn't happy.

I now ride with a superior braking system.

Carlos from Philly said...

Goddamn, BSNYC. I haven't seen this much whining on the internet since Hillary Supporters for McCain.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Slogging through 148 mostly boring comments yesterday = epic.

vegas kid said...

For whatever it's worth, my LBS built the wheels the MASH guys rode in the TOC.

Coming from a hardrock mining state, I recognize the t-shirt as a depiction of strip-mining the top off that otherwise-worthless mountain.

Philip Williamson said...

Some of you people don't know what fun is. Bikes? Fun. Fixies? Fun. Riding in the woods? Fun.
Getting in over your head? Fun, fun, fun.

Maybe you don't like riding with your dog, either. Or your friends, or drinking beer afterwards.

And as Sheldon Brown once wrote, "if you're in a hurry, why are you on a bicycle?

Doug Walsh said...

Leapfrogged a guy all day who was riding a fixie 29er at Leadville 100 this past summer. That = Epic.

I probably would have congratulated him on the finish had he not have been wearing home-made cut-off capris.

Yeah mon said...

Anyone else notice that since he has come back that the juice is loose with the bsnyc.

Scone said...

Mr Snob - pure expressions of bike love rarely come like the following. I'm not sure if this bike would piss off the fixed scene or just confuse them:
Kirk revolution MTB frame magnesium fixie with Paris Roubaix edition Rock Shox.
For sale in New Zealand:

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Sports/Cycling/Road-bikes/Other/auction-222185481.htm

Kapitan said...

FUCK EPIC

(or just cross your wrists if you want to come on really strong).

Rob Edwards said...

you have a lot of hate in your heart, thanks for sharing it with us...

CommieCanuck said...

FINALLY.. the bitter is back.I thought I'd have to bring back that Nick Nolte campaign again.

Descending on a fixed gear with no brakes, and surprisingly, he dropped a chain, no doubt from 200rpm spinning. Lucky that foot didn't get permanently wedged in his ass.

Makes me wonder if some of the appeal of fixed gear bikes has something to do with inability to conceptualize gears.

My epic ride: Stage 5 of the Tour day France on one of those hybrid tricycles reserved for special people. I already have a pink Rapha jersey with "I [heart] Jesus" on it. Totally cunt.

Just try and see if Cavendish can get around me in the sprint.

Anonymous said...

EPIC CUNT

Anonymous said...

I don't understand why you conceptualizing the term epic necessarily means you have to compare your definition to someone else's.

Why don't I make a blog where I call it fail rides, wehre i do the same thing as Nabiis but then just put a denigrating adjective before everything.. like

shitty average speed for this ride: 15mph
total shit miles ridden: 51mph.

would that be more accurate in your opinion? Your argument that the rapha ride has a faster average speed and distance is like saying the tour de france invalidates a local crit.

I don't understand your mentality because you don't have any credibility as a rider, if you were an ex-rabobank time trialist and laughed at these mash guys people would just be like, hey pro cyclist, give us normal guys a break. But the thing that gets me is just that, if everyone was like you, there would be no one to report on anything. There would be anonymous people riding anonymous distances at the fear of being laughed at.

The fact that you search out sources like this nabiis ride and decide to laugh at them by posting their statistics makes you no better than me.

Why don't you ride something and tell us about how non-epic it is? You know when you've finally done something that you believe is epic, please post and make a journal of it, and I'll be sure to write an equally pointless blog entry tearing it to pieces.

and seriously man, no shit road bikes are more efficient for the road. no shit. no shit risers are just a fashion thing. no shit.

Here's an idea why don't you actually ride somewhere and document it. Why not? Instead of commuting and looking for buttcracks, why not go ride and post that shit so I can get every fixed gear blog to talk about "epics in the service of publicity".
oh wait... they're out riding and passing out stickers

Anonymous said...

11:58-

Don't let this blog get you down, hes just "some chickenshit blogger". But a damn funny chickenshit blogger, I just suffer through the tired concept and content for the top-notch jokes.

Anonymous said...

How do you know a BSNYC post is fucking great (other than reading if, of course)?

Just check out the number, lengh and depthness of the comments. Oh, and how many miss the point by the mile is a great indicative too. (yeah, Anon 11:58, I'm talking to you)

Guy hit a nerve on this one, huh?

ken e. said...

how fortunate that today's post is just around the next bend....

EPIC WONK

Wes said...

Keep commuting and looking for buttcracks Snobby - there's a host out here who find it hilarious.

Udder said...

The fixed gear trend must be dead because it has reached Columbus,OH, where all trends come to die.

I saw a few hipsters out in the middle of nowhere in farm country outside the city last week on a training ride. They looked very silly and very exhausted with their jeans, messenger bags and hot helmets with no vents.

stuggy said...

Ok, I gotta ask you guys. What the hell is Nabiis and MASH? 'Cos I went to both sites and looked around for a little bit (not exhaustively, I admit) and I couldn't figure out what the hell their purpose in life is. (I know what M.A.S.H. is from the movie and TV series, though.) Best I could figure for Nabiis is that they might sell enough fixed gear stuff that I could build a completely pink fixie. And MASH? WTF is that about? And that t-shirt is completely stupid. What a horrible representation of the profile of a mountain. I could totally do better with the graphic from a TDF stage profile image.

Well, anyway, I still have no idea what the purpose of those 2 sites are. If you are that obtuse, maybe and "About" page wouldn't be that bad of an idea. 'Course, maybe I'm just not cool enough for school, not in the know, y'know?

hillbilly said...

i'm so confused by anon 11:58 - didn't snob document a ride just a couple days ago? does he want power numbers or something? I never get people who read a blog and then complain that it's not the blog they want it to be. ok 11:58, there's a race in rockleigh tonight, i'll be sure to post my suckass numbers for you, will that help?

Anonymous said...

"I never get people who read a blog and then complain that it's not the blog they want it to be"

You've nailed it right there

Anonymous said...

Buttcracks? I wanna see the buttcracks! Nothing better than a good ol' buttcrack pic!



Buttcrack

Anonymous said...

Not quite noon,
so much feces.

Epic overreaction.

stupid kid said...

this blog sees dead people

ant1 said...

anon 11:58 - "and I'll be sure to write an equally pointless blog entry tearing it to pieces."

You know you could actually start a blog tearing BSNYC to pieces, instead of just threatening to do so on his comments page. Unless of course you're afraid (and rightfully so in my opinion) that no one would ever read it. You should be thanking Snobby for giving you a chance to have your opinion heard for a change.

bikesgonewild said...

...boy o' boy...did anon 11:58am put ol' bsnyc/rtms in his place or what ???...

...i'll just bet the snob is sitting back & sorrowfully contemplating the error of his ways...

...& i'm equally sure that today's post will undoubtedly be nothing but a respectful apology to concerned bloggers like anon 11:58am...

...btw...if anyone would like to buy the golden gate bridge out here on the left coast, please get in touch...i hold the title rights...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

hey this is anon 11:58, seriously.

First of all, all your comments back to me are on the vein a delusional kid who is hell-bent on letting myself be heard, overindulging myself, wanting attention, being naive etc.

That's not what I want. and the assumption that this blog isn't what I want it to be is not true. Nobody reads blogs to fucking agree with them, you read a blog to gain some sort of news/opinion/ start a conversation/argument. If I wanted this blog to blow fixie riders, I'd have just gone to prolly or some shit.

The reason my reaction to this post is so fierce is because ragging on guys like the mash riders is just cowardice and ridiculousness. I don't understand why people hate fixies so much here. (even the people who ride fixies). I don't understand this. This post is like taking the phrase "rofl" and trying to equate it to saying "well because your not actually rolling on the floor laughing so therefore its incorrect/not that funny." I don't think people ride because they want to be epic. No one starts a ride and is like, this is going to be an epic ride. If that were true, every person who did a cross state tour would have the legal right to spit on the average home-to-work commuter. How many people have ever seriously called something epic in their lives? It's ridiculous because your taking someone's ride and basically calling it shit. That's my problem with it. Your calling all the mash guys shitty riders that don't know what they're doing.

what are they doing that's wrong? Is it illegal to ride a fixie long distances? no. Is it illogical? no, because it's a free fucking world and they're not like riding on square rims or something, so its not illogical. Did anyone of them get hurt? no. Did they hurt someone, run into somebody, crash into someone, made someone unhappy besides bikesnob? no. So essentilly snob's argument is that because he's a logical person, the actual event of riding a fixie squad through taiwan is pissing him off enough to flame these guys about it.

And the thing is, all you fagbags that level these ridiculous assumptive ad hoc attacks at me give these one phrase answers that are like "this isn't the blog you wanted it to be" seriously dumbfuck? seriously that's why i'm typing all this? It's ridiculous.

to bikesgonewild: did i ask for a fucking apology? Was I at anytime saying, man bikesnob you hurt me personally, ya know.

To be honest, everyone here is reading a blog that agrees with their ideas. You realize nobody posts anything negative on this shit unless its like a guy who is man enough to defend his feelings. But nobody is. I don't agree with bikesnob, but everyone here is a fucking tool for just being like.. "yeah! i ride a fixie, but now it's not cool cause they do tricks and pass out stickers." that post made me throw up for real.

THINK FOR YOURSELVES FOR ONCE PEOPLE.

Anonymous said...

Also Ant1,

your a fucking dumbass.

1. It's the internet, if people didn't pay attention to me... I would be... hurt by the anonymous nobodies?

2. you don't know who i am man, you don't know what I am capable of doing, why would u just make that fucking assumption about me?

jesus, I wish i could talk to some of you peeps in person, not in a violent way, just tired of typing..

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 11:58am,

Did you at least enjoy the "hairy muffin" references?

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

also why is metric system pretentious now? a system based on 12 and 24 is much logical also, i agree...

Anonymous said...

that was actually kinda funny

Anonymous said...

A dropped chain is SO easy to prevent by doing the most half-assed inspection before setting out.

I'm TERRIBLE at maintining my bike, but I do at least notice when my chain is getting slack enough to the point where it might drop, and then I get out the Craftsman 15mm 6-point combination wrench and tighten it.

Before a long ride with other people where I really don't want trouble with the bike, I'll actually check it beforehand.

Because I like to ride my bike and I hope to ba able to do so for many years to come.

Anonymous said...

der iz ah reason carz have mor dan one gear,they can go fastr and have breaks.

Anonymous said...

can we just supply all da fixie riderz wit crak so day can all just go away!!!!

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