Thursday, April 30, 2009

Hell in a Handbasket: More Disturbing Signs

In yesterday's post, I posited that "hipsters" are moving towards bicycles equipped with fenders and racks. Well, it turns out I may be mistaken. In fact, it looks like they could be forsaking bicycles entirely and taking up running instead:


All of You Running as a Group on Manhattan Ave - 7 PM Tues - 26 (Greenpoint)
Reply to: [deleted]

Date: 2009-04-29, 10:59AM EDT


Yesterday I was walking my dog and I saw a group of hip young individuals running east on Manhattan Ave near India Street. Guys and gals, in the bike lane. I like your pace and I wish I could join your running club. Are you looking for members? I like Propel Fitness Water, tiny shorts and long runs on the streets. I've done a marathon but these days run in the 3-5 mile range most of the time because of an ITB injury. Hope to hear from you...


A "fixie of hipsters" running en masse in a Greenpoint, Brooklyn bike lane can mean any one of the following:

--People have long spoken in hushed tones about a "hipster communication network" which can only be accessed via a secret iPhone "app." Through this network, "hipsters" receive regularly updated commands and style mandates from their consumerist overlords--an oligarchy consisting of Nike, Apple, General Electric, Bank of America, Google, and Wal-Mart Stores. For example, it was this oligarchy that recently ordered all of hipsterdom to adopt the flat-brim fitted cap. Now it seems they may have ordered "hipsters" to abandon their bicycles and take up running, most likely to increase sneaker sales.

--The Fixed-Gear Apocalypse is upon us, and we'll soon be living out a "28 Days Later" scenario in which the streets are strewn with abandoned track bikes and crazed undead jogging "hipsters" with ironic Prefontaine moustaches who feed upon the flesh of the living.

--"Hipsters" are not in fact abandoning their bikes altogether; instead, they're taking up triathlon. This is a necessity for them, as their beloved Williamsburg concert venue, McCarren Park Pool, is in fact being turned from an ironic pool back into an actual pool. Expect old-timey swimming costumes to make an ironic comeback, and don't be surprised if you see some competitors palping p-fars on the bike leg.

--They're not actually abandoning bicycles; it's just cross-training for the increasingly competitive (ahem) "sport" of fixed-gear freestyling.

Of course, it's always possible that this running was a completely non-bike related isolated incident. They may have just received a message from the "hipster communication network" that the bar they were just in was now over, and so they were running from that bar to a new, cooler bar. Also, the "hipsters" would be crazy to abandon bicycles right now. I mean, things are just starting to get good! No sooner had I finished yesterday's post than I learned about a new integrated handlebar/basket, thanks to both Trackosaurusrex and a commenter:

Yes, if you're thinking about selling that tired NJS track bike and getting in on the new practicality trend, don't be too hasty. Sure, an integrated handlebar/basket on a brakeless track bike isn't all that practical, but the new practicality isn't about actually being practical--it's about the style of practicality. Really, riding around on a Nagasawa with an integrated handlebar/basket is only slightly more practical than riding around on a Nagasawa while wearing a t-shirt with a picture of a basket on it. Actually, in a way the t-shirt's more practical, since you can take it off--or at least wear it while you ride a different bike that has brakes.

Clearly, though, baskets are hot these days. A commenter yesterday even posted a link to this picture of Ozzy Osbourne using the classic wicker variety in New York City:

As always, Ozzy's riding a "crazy train," though his friend opts for an SE Draft.

But the best baskets are removable yet fit seamlessly with both the bicycle on which they're used as well as with the needs of the rider. For example, let's just say you need to get places in a big hurry, but you also value the comfort of flat bars. Let's also say you have a fondness for light beer, and you own a small dog who accompanies you on all your beer runs. Naturally then, you'd opt for a setup like the one in the photo below, which was forwarded to me by a reader:

While it's hard to properly lock a frame like this, it's also not entirely necessary, since the dog is an effective theft-deterrent.

Really, the only downside I can see to this otherwise ideal setup (assuming you have a dog) is that it would be extremely difficult to fit fenders, or even a "filth prophylactic," to this frame. This could be especially problematic in Austria. I was recently informed by a reader in Australia that someone who once lived in Austria told her that you can get a ticket for not having fenders on your bike. Now, I couldn't be bothered to do the necessary research in order to verify whether this is in fact true, but since Austria and Australia are only two letters apart I'm just going to take it on faith. Also, while I don't know much about Austria, I have always gotten the impression that it is a society that places extremely high importance on clean pants, so it stands to reason that they'd enact this kind of legislation.

Speaking of cultural differences, the same Australian reader also reminded me that Australians (like the British) call fenders "mudguards." While it's adorable linguistic idiosyncrasies like these that make the Australians so endearing, cuddly, and koala-like, I also think that our cultures might benefit from sharing a universal term. This could either be some sort of portmanteau like "menders" or "fudguards," or else it could be a completely new term, such as "wheel eyebrows."

But regardless of whether you think "wheel eyebrows" are essential, very few people would argue that a pie plate is a necessity on a fixed-gear. In fact, the only reason one could possibly have for rubbing a pie plate on a fixed-gear could be irony, as evidenced by this example, forwarded by a reader:



For maximum irony, be sure to wear a "Drop Bars Not Bombs" t-shirt while rubbing riser bars:



But foreign countries aren't the only places you'll find alternate terms, and t-shirts aren't the only places you'll find "clever" groan-inducing wordplay; another great place to find them is in bike reviews. If you've read more than two bike reviews, you may notice there are certain words and phrases that are specific to them. For example, brakes are always "stoppers" and rims are always "hoops." Furthermore, "hoops" never have tires on them. Instead, they're always "shod" in "rubber." Unfortunately, some of these terms are now leaking out of reviews and contaminating the greater cycling and linguistic environment:




Cervelo Soloist- for TT or Road Racing - $3200 (Upper West Side)
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2009-04-29, 4:28PM EDT

51cm sole owner Team CSC Soloist Carbon bike. Stiff, fast and race ready.
Full dura-ace, Mavic hoops- Ksyrium ES. UWS
Needs a tune up.

I strongly believe that these bike review terms must be contained. After all, where does it end? If rims become "hoops" and brakes become "stoppers," what's to prevent handebars from becoming "turners" and saddles from becoming "ass pedestals?" And speaking of contamination, if you do buy the Soloist with the Mavic "hoops" and you do take the seller's advice and bring it in for a tune-up, be careful which shop you choose:




The above is a still from an unsafe-for-work pornographic video which was forwarded to me by a reader. In order to legitimize it I not only sepia-fied and Larry King-ified it, but I also Opinionated Cyclist-ified it because, well, there were a lot of nipples and genitals to cover. (I did, however, leave the word "fuck" intact so that it might serve as a warning.) If you'd like, you can watch the video by clicking here, though I won't be held accountable for the consequences. In any event, this is certainly the most sordid bike shop affair since that episode of "Diff'rent Strokes," and it just goes to show that you never know what might be happening after hours inside your LBS. And whether you're offended or intrigued, either way you might want to think twice before you try on a helmet.

171 comments:

Wes said...

Bang

Anonymous said...

Back in the saddle again.

Wes said...

And again

Anonymous said...

whoooo

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

up there

Anonymous said...

Tyler!

This steroid masking works real good...

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten.

Wes said...

I feel floaty.

mikeweb said...

Brutal.

Renders Fenders Moot said...

Pre-13! Or not!

LastBoyScout said...

This would have never happened if Adidas hadn't come out with those vintage running shoes. http://www.shopadidas.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3357002&shopGroup=R&cp=2039765.2019613.2019648&colorId=909470

tom said...

wheelsucking with the autobus

Anonymous said...

I don't read fast enough

Disgruntl Ed. said...

Austria and Australia should never be mentioned in the same sentence. Check your Strunk and White.

Rantwick said...

Ozzie! OY! Very funny post. That dog in basket on the i-forget-what-it's-called... good lord.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Disgruntl Ed.,

What's a "Strunk and White?" Sounds dirty to me. Is it some kind of Cockney slang for the male member?

--RTMS

Wes said...

Ozzy Osbourne? If I had been eating it would have hit the screen.

Anonymous said...

Just another day at the "friendly" neighborhood bike shop.

Anonymous said...

Strunk and White is the official language guide for the U.S. federal court system.

mikeweb said...

Very funny! A couple comments:

-Ozzy isn't looking too well these days. Is he riding with his Grandson?

-That crabon whatever with the canine anti-theft system hurts my eyes. Dare I say that it looks like it could be the steed of another "Lone Wolf"-ish persona. I dream that it is...

mikeweb said...

Dis-gruntl-ed

I prefer Kate Turabian, the 88th edition.

Anonymous said...

I don't think that's Ozzy BikeSnob, but I DO think it IS one of the Olsen twins. Not sure which one. Lance?

Jay said...

ew

vegas kid said...

I don't know about where you live, but that's a typical day at my LBS. Just remember to wash your shammy in hot water when you get home.

BTW, you know what offends me about that video? Not the gratuitous sex and nudity, but the fact that the one guy had man-boobies almost as big as the ladies, and he's still getting more and better strange than most of us commenters.

Anonymous said...

what no mention of swine flu? you were right there with the 28 day ref, 'more signs' title, I really thought that's where you were going.

mikeweb said...

I don't even think Lance knows the difference. But he tried.

Anonymous said...

yeah, I don't think that's really ozzy. we're going to need some confirmation

juan pelota said...

definitely MK - i'd know that straddle anywhere

mirm said...

1. that dog should be wearing a helmet

2. the owner of the Cervelo clearly missed out on the opportunity to capitalize on the "added bonus" of including the water bottle as part of the full racing package.

Bill said...

top...oh screw it. funny though. a world with fender legislation is a world where mary kate is a talent

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

I love my balls and do not want them sucked by haters.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know if the Rapha Silk Scarf will help guard against swine flu?

WheelDancer said...

Wheel eyebrows cracked me up. I'm surprised the integrated handlebar baskets didn't become steer-tube goatees.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Danish Police Hug Bicyclists

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWF4x01MkzE

Luck E. Seven said...

Commentaholic?

Baskebar?

Jogsters?

MaryKozzy?

Securidog?

Austrenders?

Pixie plate?

LBgaSm?


No actual mention of snigglets, but damned if that's what they are...


A

Isolation Helmet said...

Snob- That bike with the dog basket should have been sepia-fied. The most offensive image ever posted.

The only thing left to do is convert it to a fixed gear with some bomb proof deep-v's.

That Guy said...

I didn't want to be the Grammar police, but it seems no one else is stepping up. I think you're missing a word here:

"...that the bar they were just in was now over, and so they were running from that bar a new, cooler bar."

the other adam said...

Flash in the pan. The thing with running is you can't cheat, you have to work and sweat; it's hard to carry money and big cellphones; and you can't (if you want to have a chance of picking anyone up) go to the bar or coffee shop afterwards without changing. And then who would know, so why bother. Also you have to wear the shoes that fit, even if they look like space bumblebees.

Nice Hair said...

I look forward to the Ozzy Osbourne / Flock of Seagulls collabo...

mikeweb said...

@Nice Hair

Agreed - like the one in 'Pulp Fiction'

Anonymous said...

wow. It really is an Olsen twin. Wow thats disturbing. I just clicked on the link, I was kidding when I suggested it earlier. She looks like shes going to the christian mental ward.

Ha! Nice one Snobby.

Chazu said...

And I ran

I ran so far away

I just ran

I ran all night and day

Couldn't get away

I'm going off the rails on the crazy train....

Ady said...

When did Ozzy become a hipster?

kale said...

Ozzy,

and all you woosies out there that are trying to bite the paperboy style by rubbing baskets - you need to have stuff in it, just like a messenger bag. Be it empty Newport boxes, empty Starbucks cups, or just some crappy sweater.

mikeweb said...

Kale, Ozzy-MK is rokken the empty basket so that the paparazzi can't get any Paris Hilton-esque upskirt shots.

renders menders foot said...

Now, aren't I clever!!

jolene said...

that theres no ozzy retarts thats mary kate shes from full house and stuff i think shes real classy and her bowfrend wither looks like a molesster with them glasses and no hat i do like her bike boy howdy its kina like mine the old one but not rusty and sound like a old coon hound fuckn a pomranian i did like the vidya it was real classy lady to do that in a store an not a traler

Anonymous said...

Mikeweb, no, she actually has the head of John the Baptist in there.

ant1 said...

and Iran
Iran's so far away
and Iran
Iran's next to Iraq

Anonymous said...

Jolene makes me feel vertically stiff and laterally compliant.

Seanywonton said...

Those handlebaskets aren't so bad if you ask me. I'm not saying I'd palp them but I'm not against palping them either. Maybe if they made one with circular recessions in the bottom for carrying a case of forties.

Chazu said...

First one to spot the comment from Opinionated Cyclist (under another moniker) wins a private shopping spree at the bike store featured in the video.

leroy said...

Well shucks, if that integrated handlebar/basket were so cool, we would have seen it on the World's Greatest Madone.

Now excuse me, but I have to return to irrigating my eyes.

I'm not ready to recount the full details of my injury.

All I will say is that this morning, on the Manhattan Bridge, I learned of yet another disturbing, potential trend among the fixed geared hipsters.

Apparently, the distressed jean fad has migrated to under garments.

Anonymous said...

KARA GOUCHER!!!!!!!!!

mikeweb said...

Seany,

Does Sweet Action or Bengali Tiger come in 40's?

Fierce Panties said...

Hipster Ironic Jogging, HIJ.

I'm okay with the hipsters moving quickly, but I draw the line with zombies running and moving about quickly.

and what is the christian mental ward?

Anonymous said...

you know, where cruel nuns think beating mentally ill patients will make them better.

or was that grammar school.
you've got me all confused.

Bill said...

leroy - did it have anything to do with all the tearing the shit out of the road, er, i mean repaving, that made it difficult to get near the bridge? i found myself staring at the rear of one of those things with tar shooting out of it's ass. good thing i wasn't wearing a chicken suit, or i'd a been.....

wishiwasmerckx said...

Seanywanton -- Great! Just when there are signs that the economy is beginning to rebound, I learn from you about "circular recessions." In short order, we'll be right back where we started.

Anonymous said...

seanywonton 222,
it isn't the basketbars themselves being pointed out, it is the brakeless machine with track tolerances and aggressive geometry on which the thing is mounted being pointed to. I kinda like the things too. I'll palp them as soon as my handle bars wear out/expire due to uv-ray exposure.

Anonymous said...

Marykate and Longaberger, a match made in heaven.

Fierce Panties said...

Zombies should only move slowly and predictably. If the zombie runs or rides a bike then it's not a zombie. I don't know what it is, but it's not a zombie.

anon233 You must be referring to Alma Mater, Bethany Christian School, home of the Fighting Doves.

dangerbunny said...

The light-beer-n-doggie-in-a-basket photo made my week.

Jim said...

>>>Strunk and White is the official language guide for the U.S. federal court system.

No it's not. Deadwhite Guyanese - the language spoken in Deadwhite Guyana, adjacent to where the Jim Jones cult operated - is the official language of the Federal Courts.

Strunk and White are musicians. Part of a folk trio - The Formalists - they joined Jefferson Starship and played there together until drummer/virtuoso Eric Partridge left to work on solo projects, like his S&M masterpiece, Usage and Abusage.

/Grammar Nazi Humor

Wes said...

Can we not help Anonymous 2:29 out and call a fudguard a goucher?

kale said...

Crunk and White is the official language of getting faded.

Jim said...

>>>You must be referring to Alma Mater, Bethany Christian School, home of the Fighting Doves.

Naah, he's thinking about my high school, Unholy Name Academy, which was run by atheists and satanists who merely dressed like nuns and priests. Our sports teams were called the "Fightin' Copulators." That wasn't the real team name but it's as close as the Parochial School Athletic Conference would let us get to publishing the real name in official documents. I ran track, and how I remember the three-way and five-way track meets, and the running competitions too. Talk about glory days...

Jim said...

>>>Crunk and White

Kale - awesome.

Anonymous said...

-F*O*R**S*A*L*E-

Garry Fissure 'Knievel 3,000,000,000EK' Ravine Jumper

NASA/Area 51 gruppo. Nuclear waste burning retor rocket option. Extra parachute option. Kevlar-Titanium fenders with optional platnium-rare earth carryall basket.


$99,999,.99

ant1 said...

wes - how bout calling it a paragouch, or paragoucher (pronounced gooch)? i like the sound of those words.

g said...

MIkeweb,
I believe that's Brendan Frasier with ozzie.

d said...

Ahaha, the Ozzy Osbourne similarity.. Good eye. It's almost like she was trying for it.

I'm totally getting a clip-on cupholder mounted on my "turners". I hate small dogs and light beer, but do miss my former motor-commuter days of spilling hot coffee all over myself every time an asshole cut me off.

libertyonbikes! said...

man,
i get good service at my LBS,
but i never get
SERVICED.

and hipsters running?
i was waiting for the punchline
but it's like a steven wright
that IS the punchline.

still maintain that f-geared
hipsters are just minicooper
owners in training.
nothing more, but maybe alot
less.
can't wait to see what they get marketed when they're 60.

kale said...

d-

Just stick with the Lone Wolf approved coffee dispenser and you'll be good as gold and burn free.

Anonymous said...

I like the fact that the Sheikh who is in the middle of this torture case is wearing a TDF yellow jersey in this artice....

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/04/30/uae.torture/index.html

Wes said...

Ant1 - as in paragouch paragouch will you do the fandango?

And Chazu, Anonymous 2:59 is the Opinionated Cyclist. I'm ready for shopping.

ant1 said...

wes - nice, now the infomercial has a theme song.

leroy said...

Bill -- I don't think the paving on the Manhattan Bridge this morning had anything to do with the distressed condition of hipster displayed Calvin Kleins.

But it may explain the gray coloration.

At least, I hope so.

Renders Fenders Moot said...

I ride when I ride. Beautiful. When I stop, I stop somewhere. I order a beer. Beautiful.

Racks? Dogs?

In your eye, beholders.

Wes said...

Ant1 - a Government led drive to banish the skunk stripe?

And a fairly spurious link this between the actual post and the comments section, but Kara Goucher on google images has her running in the Prefontaine Classic, sadly sans moustache.

Jen said...

ant1: Does that make the front end of a fendered bike "turner and gooch"?

ant1 said...

Jen - I would assume so.

carlos said...

Ozzy joke was funny when my girlfriend read it to me on PEOPLE.com...

ringcycles said...

Fierce Panties: If running hipsters start making the pilgrimage to Oregon (inorder to perfect the promiscuous Prefontaine moustache or shuffle in original waffle soled joggers), should it be called the HIJ hadj? Just asking...

Luck E. Seven said...

Renders Fenders Moot

is

THE CHEESE.



A

hillbilly said...

what does mayor mike have to say about it:

"I don't see people coughing and sneezing on the subway"

Udder said...

There's no way hipsters will run. It's too much work and you get all sweaty.

red neckerson said...

hey jolene you is acting like yor shit dont stink thats what happens when you is employed as a fluffer at the gotor porn shop

mikeweb said...

Someone tried to kill the Dutch Royal family today with a car ramming. Maybe trying to stop the Dutch City bike deluge?

Haven't seen Commie Canuck on here yet today...

Wes said...

Anyone up for the sprint? Then I need to get on with stuff.

flaco said...

bluenoser is the more likely suspect

Wes said...

Wait a minute, pale, almost blue legs, "anonymous" obsession with Kara - Bikesnob is Adam Goucher!

d said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Bikesnob, links to porno is a new low. I was deeply offended by the entire video.

d said...

Maybe this is what hipsters are in training for. Always reaching for new heights of ridiculosity.

http://gizmodo.com/assets/
resources/2008/04/runningbike.jpg

kale said...

...Wheelsucking Wes

kale said...

... Throw the bottle

kale said...

100!!

frilly said...

Don't think so Wes. Kara's husband Adam is a world-class runner himself. Too close to triathlon for the Snob's liking.

Bill said...

sitting up - it's what i do best

jolene said...

red them annimals is not the same an you nos that i is trying to be a veteranerian

Wes said...

Frilly - but does he swim?

And Kale, outta nowhere.

ant1 said...

wes & frilly - bike snob is kara goucher. explains the skirt.

Shram said...

good job including the link to the nsfw, sometimes you forget...

Jen, of cycle jerks, and WRC?

Wes said...

Ant1 - only the true Messiah would deny his divinity, so wait for a non-denial from Snobby.

kale said...

I dunno, that Kara Goucher broad is kinda haggard looking. She's no Ozzy.

Anonymous said...

"...I saw a group of hip young individuals running east on Manhattan Ave..."

Last I checked Manhattan Ave went North/South.

And on Monday at that same intersection a woman was run down by a stolen car chased by cops.

leroy said...

Anon 4:39 --

How many times does one have to view the NSFW video to determine that it is a new low?

Just asking.

Anonymous said...

I think I banged Wes back in '95 or so.

JK!!!

Zombie Sheldon Brown said...

Send More Trialthletes!

BRAINS!!

hillbilly said...

is a trialthlete some sort of lawyer/ trigeek combo (as redundant as that may be)

Wes said...

Anonymous 5:42 / JK

I'm intrigued. Was Rohypnol available then?

JK Rowling? Jay Kay of Jamiroquai? Pretty sure it wasn't either of them.

Anonymous said...

Wes-

Catch up, dude..

Just Kidding.

Or were they? You did get clipped at the line by Kale for top 100 KOM points. Busy, were you?

Anonymous said...

I understand Canucks work best in teams.

KnuckaFucka said...

PORN RULZ

LINGUStheLICKER said...

Slurp Slurp Slobber Yum Slurp Slobber Spit Gulp Mmm Mmm Lick Gobble Gobble chew...

nerdthan said...

That picture of "Ozzy" looks like he may have been attempting to test his teleportation pod on himself for the first time, and Janis Joplin, unbeknownst to him, secretly buzzed into the chamber. watch out for the puke!

Boomka said...

Hipsters F'n kill me. That jogging crew sounds like an ideal crew for "On the go kamikaze hipster bowling." Get out your bike and helmet (of course) peddle til you find the pack, and then aim, and GO!

Anonymous said...

I hope some jerk buys one of those basket bars, decides they are too wide, chops the handles off, and steers with the basket. I would get a kick out of that.

Anonymous said...

BSNYC: I think you've uncovered another great coverup. Perhaps Mary Kate and Ashley are Ozzy's super secret one night stand progeny. Would explain a whole lot about their antics. Though Sharon would like have a stroke if this were public knowledge. Maybe she's been taking a cut along to stay mum? Enquiring minds want to know.

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Jen said...

Clearly, the Chinese spam is left by a bot, because it's missing the one phrase that truly applies to today's post: 太多羊肉

Anonymous said...

Speaking of literal bike porn...
"This Is Why Women Love To Bike Ride"

Jolan. said...

The picture of the Nagasawa with the horrible basket is a freaking photoshop...

Orginal here:
http://www.pedalconsumption.com/files/bikeporn_nagasawa2.jpg

Anonymous said...

the streets will indeed be littered with abandoned fixies once the junior high set starts throwing out their brakes.
posted on a local forum:

A co-worker's son, age 14, wants to build a fixie. Can anyone supply or suggest where he might find (this list came from him) ...

Road Bike: size 52 or 53cm
Something that could be converted into a single speed or fixed gear bike
If it’s a 10 or 12 spped, the chain wheel would have to have bolts so that taking off the gearing and converting the bike would be easy.
Gear shifters on the down tube would be preferred
Hopefully, a stem that is more of a 1 piece type instead of a multipiece that has gear levers.

A spare frame, cranks, sprocket, forks and brake set
A single speed
A “flip-flop” back wheel


Thanks!

joe said...

i could mount a sweet fender to that frame.
like, for the serious.

O'funkimigo said...

Yo !
Need your professional comments please, here are the design I made for my good friends who like to bike. Can you give me some advise before I send to my friends as gift. So, what do you think ?

http://picasaweb.google.com/ofunkimigo/Bikky#

Thanks very much !

Seanywonton said...

Mikewebb said:
"Does Sweet Action or Bengali Tiger come in 40's?"
Not yet...
It might be a good suggestion for Shane@sixpointcraftales.com.

Other comments:
-Does the handlebasket come in bamboo yet? I want to go for the DIY / South Asian look.

-Snob, thanks for the tits on Wednesday! They were very nice. I haven't watched the porn yet, but I'm sure I will be highly offended. Unless they find some way to lube a bike hub with body fluid.

c bass said...

http://lascruces.en.craigslist.org/mis/1148597271.html

Lance is at the tour of the gila apparently....

Anonymous said...

Jen,

I musta mist the lamb meet.

grog said...

You call that a dog?
You call that a bicycle?

Anonymous said...

I started a new company. THCcarriers. I make bike baskets and racks out of pot. Only problemo is that they look so great that I end up smoking them. Haven't gotten one to market yet.

What was my name again?

Rocco S. said...

On the topic of the porn clip:

Is it just me, or or those dudes not packin' much?

OK, I guess it must be me.

frilly said...

Okay, Rocco, I've been shunning the porn vid cuz I actually think the snob may have gone a tad too far this time. (I know.) Hmmm, now I can't help but wonder what I might be missing. Oh the temptation.

ant1 said...

Frilly - I figured you'd be the first to check out snob's porn acting debut.

ant1 said...

and I use the term acting loosely, (mostly due to his costars).

kale said...

Frilly,

I assume you're at work, so don't risk it (unless you work at a bike shop, or an elementary school), it's really not worth it other than the stellar dialogue.

I believe it was "I love coming into this job." or something like that, but my boss only lets me watch porn in sepia, so I can't get the quote right.

Luck E. Seven said...

It will only disappoint you Frilly. Here are the highlights:

"Ooooh, there's nothing gentle about you..."

Fump fump fump fump ... "He just doesn't want to stop!"

"I love my job."

One of the be-gutted, small dicked guys is crowned with a bike helmet about halfway through, "for safety".

Meh.


A

Anonymous said...

In ancient Roman times, a large penis was considered to be vulgar and ethnic. A "dainty" penis was considered desireable. My, how times have changed.

frilly said...

Thanks guys. Sounds like I would have been disappointed anyway. You would think given the setting they could have been a little more creative with inner tubes, chains, frame pumps, etc.

A helmet for a safety award, seriously?!?

The three sluts in the porn video said...

cocaine's a hell of a drug

Luck E. Seven said...

Frills, as meh-tastic as it is, perhaps you should give it a look when you aren't at work.

Also, after your suggestion that they be a little more creative with inner tubes, chains, frame pumps, etc., don't think that you are fooling anyone with the sweet kitten socks avatar. You're a monster!



A

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:35 - in ancient times, small penises fit little boys better than big ones.

frilly said...

Grrr, baby, grrrr.

Wes said...

Frilly

I'd definitely give it a miss. If you're anything like, erm, my friend you'll just get distracted by all the other stuff on there.

Seanywonton said...

Last year for my birthday, my girlfriend gave me a card with an attractive 1960's dressed woman holding a frame-mounted bike pump flirtatiously.

Inside the card says "It only seems kinky the first time."

At least...I think it was a bike pump.

Seanywonton said...

Is snob OK? Almost 2:00 and no Fidray Frun quiz.

frilly said...

Hey, speaking of monsters, did you see Saxo Bank is coming to the ToM? I hope they bring Big Jens. And Fab C, too.

Anonymous said...

ER...to anyone in Toronto - recognize that shop?...

on Queen St West...maybe it's....

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Anonymous said...

In Australia mud flies the opposite direction, and they don't need fenders. That's what my mate from Austria says.

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yep - another "that's my LBS" re: porn shoot. Nice. Only in L.A.

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