Friday, April 3, 2009

BSNYC Fiday Frun Quiz!

This weekend the Spring Classics begin in earnest with the Tour of Flanders, and the excitement is palpable. ("Palping" is similar to "rocking," or "running," or "rubbing.") One of the most exciting things about the Spring Classics is that riders often palp more traditional wheels and equipment due to the rough cobblestones (except for George Hincapie, who palped crabon wheels at Paris-Roubaix last year with disastrous results.) For this reason, the Tour of Flanders is what's known as a "cobbled classic," and should not be confused with the crappy conversions on Craigslist and Fixedgeargallery, which are actually cobbled-together "classics."

In any case, if you're looking forward to the Tour of Flanders or to the weekend in general, I'd like to dampen your enthusiasm by presenting you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right, you'll know. If you're wrong, you'll see someone playing an ear-splitting guitar solo on a heaven-sent asterisk.

Palp you bike safely this weekend, and thanks for reading.

--BSNYC/RTMS




1) According to Shimano, there is such a thing as "increased levels of perfection."

--True
--False




2) What do these two things have in common?






3) Clip-on plastic fenders that almost touch the rear tire are the flat hat brim of 2009:





4) Cincinnati police are currently on the lookout for a man who stole which unwieldy item and then made his getaway on a bicycle?



5) This rider, spotted in London, might benefit from which real-life exciting new product?



6) What are the two big plastic things on the front of this bicycle, also spotted in London?

--High-powered headlights
--Tupperware, as this is the owner's ironic cake-fetching bike
--Intergalactic space breasts
--Together with the previous photo, a sign that London's cyclists may be going crazy





7) The message on this headband most likely means that:

--The wearer's head has been repaired via the cranial screwtop method of entry into the brain, pioneered by Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr
--The wearer has been spayed or neutered
--The wearer believes that Barack Obama's election has effectively repaired (or "fixed") the United States
--The wearer likes fixed-gear bicycles




8) What does this tattoo depict?

--A disc brake rotor that has been thrown with ninja-like accuracy into the wearer's leg
--A delicious disc brake rotor pita bread sandwich
--An extreme close-up of a woman giving birth to a disc brake rotor
--It is impossible to determine with any certainty what this tattoo depicts



***Special Fill-In-The-Blank Knuckle Tattoo Bonus Question***




This is one half of a set of knuckle tattoos. What does the other half say?

--nutz
--ebra
--appa
--ygomorphic

111 comments:

marshmallow said...

yeah

podiumtard said...

meh

CommieCanuck said...

fourth!

Disgruntl Ed. said...

disasterous?

first typo/misspelling whine

Brickster said...

top 10

Unknown said...

top ten!

CommieCanuck said...

I like that bike..it reminds me of this pic. Nice melons.

leroy said...

Palpable?

Are you sure you didn't mean papillary -- as in like a pimple or pustule?

You know, as in something that is about to burst on to the scene?

Anonymous said...

Top ten!(loser)

panino said...

sono il camipone del mondo

Mark said...

In the Top 20 after a long PODIUMHO respite!

Anonymous said...

Fruits

Dave Zabriskie said...

someone decipher ocdz nutz please

d fofonov said...

English is confusing language. I am checking out Independent Fabrications. In our English language reference it saying "independent" as "no controlling legal authority" and "fabrication" as "lies". When cross-referencing It coming up with "Al Gore". In Motherland we acknowledge Al Gore to have invented as many things as our own countrymen, but what he is having to do with bicycle production is very confusing.

Dave Zabriskie said...

Is that like some kind of sleepy dyslexic fish fan? Or should I call my lawyer?

CommieCanuck said...

Hey, the thief is named Joshua Nuckels. He's famous. His father was Johan Nuckels, inventor of the nuckel tats, now commonly misspelled.

JNUC KELS

Anonymous said...

Only missed two. Both of the balls questions so that shouldn't count.

Panino--I might be in love!

Astroluc (Find me on Tumblr and Instagram @Astroluc) said...

top 20, but I got 3 wrong on the quiz

panino said...

areodinamics follow different laws in britain. the 2 plastic water basins actually do amke the bike faster. In traffic.

panino said...

frilly, a bit of italian never fails. this is the great advantage we have versus the rest of the world. French included. altrimenti sono problemi per tutti!

Surly Bastard said...

I was improving on perfection until I rubbed the Brit bike with the boobs and completely fell apart.


Cobbled together classics = Craigslist Junk

Beauty!

Anonymous said...

Rack Ready

B. Wooster said...

We also have different oreodynamics, my good man.

panino said...

my fingers are faster than my brain. and my spelling skills are non-existent

Jeeves said...

amke

B. Wooster said...

Well, what is it Jeeves?

Some Guy on the Innernets said...

Man that Nitro video is Dork-Tastic!

Jeeves said...

Sir, may I enquire what has attached itself to your ankle?

CommieCanuck said...

Snob..this blog is reaching a higher level of perfection and I'm sure will be even more perfect next week.

To my students, "sorry for the "D", but you just haven't reached that level of perfection."

AWESOME lawsuit-triggering email.

CommieCanuck said...

oh..
eH is now PG-14 and more exclusive than ever.

Anonymous said...

Buy a dictionary. Now back to more important matters, tell me about those fast fingers.

H said...

BSNYC,

Surely, this is a sign of the Fixed-Gear Apocalypse.

Isn’t it also written in the "Book of Redundancy":

"There shall come a guitar, and that guitar shall have a guitar, and those guitars shall in turn have a guitar, and those guitars shall spawn a fourth guitar, taking the form of a giant asterisks.

And there shall be much sorrow and playing of heaven-sent, ear-rending guitar solos."

H

Team Rider 3 said...

BikeSnob NYC Collabo Accusations! and BikeSnob Remembered Fondly. Like any abusive relationship, accusations one moment and tenderness the next. So why doesn't BSNYC love us the way our significant others do?
Rider 3

hillbilly said...

5 minutes later and i still can't stop laughing about the iphone go out in public app....genius. took a pic of a bike outside the prospect park y for you snob, a ridiculous diamondback with some sort of homemade string to keep the top of the bottle attached..as i was doing that, i thought, 'i bet this bike is locked stupidly as well'...i was half right...it wasn't locked at all, chain still around seatpost

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

Anonymous said...

O.C. Deez Nutz?
Ock-deez-nutz?
Ock-dz-nutz?

Oh, and that mother of all sXe guitars doesn't even produce four different tones. My Star of David axe blows that thing out of the water.

Critical Ass said...

Can't decide between a vintage lugged frame and crabon? Now you don't have to.

http://denver.craigslist.org/bik/1105254955.html

red neckerson said...

i mite be a simple man but i gots them all rite except the one about the ribbed for her pleasure shit and i shouda known better

this blog is like reading pappys old national geograffics looking for darkies with big nekked tits its like i aint ever really gonna see that stuff around here

if i saw sum of them bikes or bikers in vipers id cut there balls off

i guess bikes aint gots no balls well yes they do at least in london and im guessing you aint talking about london kentucky becos theyd cut there balls off neither

but that london bike looked like it had big balls or maybe tits

thats what im saying

Bluenoser said...

Knuckle fairings. Keeping the bugs off the knuckle tats.

London style.

-B

CommieCanuck said...

Frilly..you and Panino, trovi una camera da letto.

I'm currently putting the finishing touches and debugging my iPhone App, "iLoser", it automatically activates the camera phone when you are in line at the Apple Store overnight (using GPS) and uploads your photo (using 3G) to a national photo registry of idiots (viewable through iTunes for $0.99)

Anonymous said...

In regards to the "Ducks in a Row" entry to which you linked: I also feel a hometown connection to George since he has settled into my home state, SC.

I guess this is more like an expansion team or a team that's moved to a new city. Either way, here's to George first in Roubaix this year!

kale said...

CA-

$75 for a museum piece!

That's actually not bad, but I live in NYC, and you can't even get a set of tires for that price.

hillbilly said...

is it always/supposed to be a "frun" quiz and this is the first time i've noticed?

Anonymous said...

The London Tupperware rig = Bike Rack...

ant1 said...

hillbilly - frun is snobbie's spelling of furn.

hillbilly said...

dadgummit! i'm startin to really wonder about my observational skills. my boss might be right about me...you know, the 'not too bright' thing...

Anonymous said...

I was born in 1980, If "1990ish" is vintage, does that mean I should start wearing sweatpants hiked up to my chin, white orthopedic sneakers, and a visor and wander around shopping malls at 8am?

jolene said...

i rode me a rode bike agin since they paved the walmart lot but it was raining like all gitout and this bunch of kids from scuddy was pointin at my ass up in ther are and tolt me to hop on ther car and they gived me a ride but i was not becus i wanted to ride my new trek bike but it was wet but not in the ususul way red so i thot to take a brake under the walmart awnin my god that it kept rainin sos i just had to ride home and i got a cold i dont no if i rides agin it never happend in my god ol royce union

:) said...

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/bik/1104689760.html

hillbilly said...

that fenders not as bad as a flat brimmed cap. nothing is as bad (for riding) as a flat brimmed cap.

this weather sucks

Anonymous said...

hillbilly-

Move to the Nortwest and then we'll talk.

hillbilly said...

fair enough.....funny you should say that though since the times had an article today about Portland and how it is perfect for cycling year round.

Anonymous said...

It's perfect if you're not a pussy - or if you've got clip on fenders that touch the rear wheel.

hillbilly said...

damn, 0-2

Anonymous said...

Portland and how it is perfect for cycling year round.

If you like biking in the rain, that is.

Unknown said...

I've seen the tupperware bike least once a week for the last decade or so here in London and this is v2.0 of his handlebar mod.

His previous choice of hand protection was two plastic basketballs slashed to accomodate his hands and attached in some manner to the bars.

He's in his 60's and out in all weather every day.

Unknown said...

Any speculations as to why the multicolored guy's Giant reads "FUCK AXIS" on the downtube?

Anonymous said...

100%, bitches!

Jimmie Walker said...

Is this where you go if you are a douchebag who sits around waiting for snob to post so you can be the first commenter?

kale said...

Jimmie

Yeah, but get in line.

prollygagger said...

but hipsters HATE fenders, or can I just not keep up per usual?

Comment depleted said...

This post was removed by the janitor.

ant1 said...

Jimmie - it's also where you go if you're a douchebag who doesn't sit around waiting for snob to post so that you can be the first commenter, apparently.

Anonymous said...

Amen, Jay. Amen.

Anonymous said...

Bunchy sweatpants are the new skinny jean.

hillbilly said...

true dat, ant1... who knew?

CommieCanuck said...

Jimmie Walker said...
Is this where you go if you are a douchebag who sits around waiting for snob to post so you can be the first commenter?


That post was DY-NO-MITE.

Luck E. Seven said...

Pass!

To resurrect (and perhaps settle) yesterday's commenter debate over the pronunciation of "crabon," I'm not sure the long or short "a" is the issue.

When "r" comes before "b" in this instance of ironic vernacular, the "b" is affected as a "p".

The result is the correctly pronounced "crap-on," which can only be cast with a short "a" sound.

A long "a" would indicate that your frame or component is made of flimsy pancakes or crinkled party paper.

Hope that clears up any embarrassing mispronunciation moments!


A

PhilboydStunge said...

Tupperware bike looks like Jimmy Cooper's Vespa from Quadrophenia. If Jimmy was 15 in 1964 he'd be 60 now, maybe thats him? The Vespa was BA, the tupperware is more BA. Long live rock!

Alfred Nobel said...

DYNA MITE

Big Jim said...

Thanks Flatman!

That is obviously Strawberry Shortcake's fixie, now that she's grown up into a hipster chick with a bubblegum colored faux-hawk.

Shame she has to sell...

db said...

Awesome "Man With Two Brains" ref.

libertyonbikes! said...

a canadian takes fourth in something that doesn't
directly involve flannel, powertools,drinking, or
bob& doug mckenzie? wtf? i need a training program
for this blog....

Plato said...

Perfection is not to be found within earthly boundaries but only in Heaven, or as I prefer to say, the Platonic Realm. To go to a higher level of perfection involves a sojourn into the Socratic Realm. Much beyond that and this shit really gets complicated.

bikesgonewild said...

...the new shimano ultegra 'aldous huxley' gruppo...featuring "increased levels of perception - opening the doors to a better riding experience"...

CommieCanuck said...

BGW..that just means the Shimano Ultegra hollow crank design can double in a pinch as a bong.

CommieCanuck said...

liberty..I could have finished first, but I was in the bathroom .

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but do Dura Ace or Ultegra "make you feel at one with the bike?"

+1 to fixed gears

bikesgonewild said...

...that also might explain why this is a "bsnyc fiday frun quiz"...

...& why yesterdays post was titled "my bike, it's full of stars !!! every material, every color, all the time"...

...just sayin'...far out, man...

ridethewomble said...

GOOD GRAVY! A tri bike with a backwards fork, converted to a fixster? Those are two worlds that should NEVER collide!

I am going to have to seek out a traumatic experience, if I am to have any hope of getting enough catharsis to get THAT ugly out of my mind.

JPB said...

BGW - that should be "the recently decanted Ultegra 'Aldous Huxley' gruppo

a gram is better tahn a damn

Seanywonton said...

I was planning on palping some Flanders ales this weekend, and brewing in the backyard with this nice weather that's supposed to be coming in on Sunday.

And...bikes are cool too.

grog said...

I scored 50% . . . an increased level of perfection. Palp you.

bikesgonewild said...

...& that damn sram is lighter by grams...

Anonymous said...

If I see some pile of human feces with a knuckle tattoo come into my business I'll politely tell him/her there is nothing here for him/her and ask him/her to not patronize the establishment. Stinking tattoo freaks!

Test Tickle said...

i got so sidetracked on the knucklehead, er, knuckle tattoo site i almost forgot to come back here!

idiotbikerider said...

thanks for the love!

Wade said...

Where do you come up with this stuff? Can I get the name of your dealer? Too funny...

Anonymous said...

I'll be palpating this weekend.

cat burglar said...

yo just got back from quick ride in prospect park, sun finally came out, rubbing the earth wind and fire on my ipod... life is good and spring is here, brah...

cat burglar said...

whenever i played the friday quiz, if i getta a question wrong i always force yself to watch the youube clip all the way through as punishment. and this one was sheer torture. i got three wrong, and by the third time i was mourning the loss of culture...maybe harold bloom was right.
maybe.

leroy said...

Is it just me or has anyone else wondered if an OCD ZEBRA got that way trying and trying and trying to change his stripes?

BiZZiD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matthew Ruscigno said...

LONG PALP

juliasets said...

8TRZ BALZ

Fierce Panties USA said...

All You Haters Can Palp My Flaming Degloved Testicles

Fierce Panties USA said...

And another thing,

100

juliasets said...

101 FP. I'll school yr ass. :)

Anonymous said...

Palp is lucky to get a personal wish from RTMS even with missing punctuation or is it a typo directed at all of us?

Palp, you bike safely this weekend, and thanks for reading.

Palp your bike safely this weekend, and thanks for reading.

bikesgonewild said...

...this is starting to sound like 'palp fiction - the blogsite'...

Prolly's knuckles said...

MEAT HEAD

LondonSLGSS said...

Hello all,

I'm the person with the colourful hoodie and socks. I don't need the extra leg, I tuck those trousers into my socks because otherwise the bottom of the trousers drags on the ground, which annoys me. I don't need the colour coordination chart because some colours are too spectacular to need to be coordinated. I don't need the handlebar leveliser because my handlebars are very comfortable as they are. I don't need the iPhone app because alas, I don't have an iPhone and also I generally tend to find going out in public a rather rewarding activity.

And the downtube says "FUCK AXIS" because it was a sticker saying "FUCKTAXIS" which I found a little unnecessarily aggressive for my taste, so I placed a piece of black electrical tape over the "T" in order to transform it into a completely nonsensical but mostly inoffensive (apart from the expletive) phrase.

I hope this information is of use to you all.

O. Mike Hunt-Hertz said...

The birthed calf-rotor could benefit from some plasty.

Unknown said...

I dig that the Extra Leg is described as being self-attaching thanks to the miracle product Velcro. (I assume they mean to really push the Velcro because of their conscious use of bold)

Is this like I saw in Back To the Future 2? Do I just place the leg, let 'er wrap and wait for CallousBot to tell me "your leg is wrapped?"

pasticpine said...

thats my local tattoo parlor lol, you love mpls dont you :P that parlor is a mile or two from the stone arch where that "hardy MNain" picture was taken during this last winter.

you need to hate on FGG like you used to, those where the days.

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Anonymous said...

nice article. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did you learn that some chinese hacker had hacked twitter yesterday again.

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