Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Anarchy for Sale: No Brakes, No Masters

It's late February, but spring is in the air here in New York City. Actually, that's completely untrue--it's cold and windy, and the only thing in the air is bits of garbage. Nonetheless, the racing season looms, and I recently received an email from Michael Green of Bike Blog NYC (and victim of the classic "Yo, let me see your bike real quick" flim-flam) asking me to help" spread the word" about this weekend's Monster Track alleycat.

If you're unfamiliar with Monster Track, it's basically the Woodstock '99 of alleycats. Here's the description from Michael's email:

This weekend, Monster Track X, the tenth annual edition of NYC's most intense underground alleycat street race, will be blazing through city streets making heros out of ordinary messengers, and a legend out of one. Monster Track, the most outlaw of outlaw alleycat bicycle races, has only one rule: No Brakes.

You may remember that last year's Monster Track was fake-cancelled, presumably in order to confuse the interlopers and generally pare things down so that it could run more stealthily. I can only imagine this year the organizers are implementing a similar ploy, because as far as I can see there's nothing "underground" about this race at at all. Most likely this announcement is for some kind of "decoy" event, and the real race will take place elsewhere. Just take a look at the flyer:

Firstly, there are few things in the world that are less "underground" than brunch. Sure, maybe brunch is an edgy meal for the sorts of people who purchase designer dog clothes, sport spray-on tans, and wear soft leather driving loafers, but that's about it. Secondly, some of these sponsors can only have been secured by a PR firm. Sure, Continuum Cycles and Affinity Cycles are bikes shops, and R.E.Load and Outlier make cycling bags and clothing, so those make sense. But what about the rest of them? Curious, I went and checked them out.

First, I visited the Incase website. Yes, nothing says "underground" and "outlaw of outlaw" like a company that makes protective cases for Apple products. While there's certainly nothing wrong with owning a laptop and wanting to protect it, doing so does not exactly qualify you as a menace to society. Furthermore, designing such products is highly unlikely to foment revolution--even if they do have some sweet "collabos," like this one with Hiroshi Fujiwara:


You may recall that Hiroshi Fujiwara is the person who got Eric Clapton into collecting track bikes. I guess Hiroshi's pretty into iPhones too, because "these limited-edition cases are featured in Hiroshi Fujiwara's new book about the iPhone and iPhone-related culture." This came as a surprise to me, because until I read this I didn't realize that it was possible to base an entire culture on something as specific as an iPhone. I guess the standards for what qualifies as "culture" have been significantly lowered recently. (Maybe this is part of Obama's economic stimulus plan.) If so, it sure is easy to join a culture now. If I check the time, am I part of "wristwatch culture?" If I use a urinal, am I part of "urine culture?" If I eat a Chicken McNugget with sweet and sour sauce, am I part of "Chicken McNugget culture," or "sauce culture?" And if I use a fork to do it, am I also part of "fork culture?" Hmmm, I think I liked it better when something actually had to stick around for a few centuries to qualify as a culture. Navajos have a culture; iPhones have touch screens and a headphone jack. (Though I hear you can now download a "belief system app.")

Next on my Monster Track X sponsor tour, I checked in with Mishka. Mishka is a New York City-based clothing label, and it may be familiar to readers of this blog as the sponsor of the D.A.R.T. cycling team. Naturally, as a clothing company with a distinguished cycling pedigree, they now make cycling-specific clothing like this flat-brimmed baseball cap:


Our Death Adders Road and Track project is now branching out and producing clothing. Starting today, we're slowly making some gear specific to the people who are riding their bikes in the elements everyday and we are pleased to say that the D.A.R.T. New Era marks the first piece in this series

Crafted from New Eras signature "no shrink" wool, this hat will keeps its shape after it's soaked in sweat over and over again. When you're not wearing a helmet, top off your outfit with this hat which features the D.A.R.T. headbadge and logo in a colorway to fit any wardrobe.

If you ride your bike a lot, you know there's no better choice of headgear than a flat-brimmed baseball cap. Unlike a traditional cycling cap, the baseball cap has the advantages of not fitting under a helmet, having a huge brim to catch the air, and having a huge brim that cannot be flipped up or down. Also, unlike a lightweight cycling cap, the wool baseball cap is too heavy for summer, yet unlike a winter cycling hat it won't keep your ears warm. You can, however, use it in conjunction with a "hoodie" to keep your hat from flying off your head if you ride more than 10mph. (Which, if you're the kind of person who wears hats like this, you probably don't.) Most importantly, it comes in lots of "colorways," which are like colors, only trendier.

Mishka also have a "lookbook." (All revolutionary movements have lookbooks. Mao Zedong's "Little Red Book" was the first revolutionary lookbook and was full of hot Marxist fashions.) As you can see, they offer lots of great clothes to wear to the Monster Track "outlaw" brunch:


I'm sure between mouthfuls of fries they're discussing how to tear down "the system" from within. Yes, revolution sure is delicious--and it comes in lots of great colorways, too!

After my virtual brunch, I visited Mishka's comerades-in-arms and fellow Monster Track sponsors, BoundlessNY:


BoundlessNY is a streetwear clothing retailer that sells various "underground" and "outlaw" clothing brands and stocks products that come in a stunning array of "colorways." They also seem to have appropriated the "Ruff Ryders" logo:



This is fitting, since the clothing BoundlessNY sells doubtless appeals to fixed-gear freestylers, and fixed-gear freestylers are to track bikes what Ruff Ryders are to sport motorcycles:






As a sponsor of an "underground" bike race, you'd expect BoundlessNY to have an "underground" sensibility. And what's more "underground" than worshipping money and celebrating rampant consumerism? A search for the word "money" yields no less than 17 items on the BoundlessNY website, including this "All Over Money" flat-brimmed baseball cap (perfect for cycling, of course):


You can also use it in conjunction with this matching "All Over Money Hoody":


There's no better way to express your rejection of the mainstream than by swaddling yourself in money. I think "Get money all over the globe" is actually a Che Guevara quote.

Saddened, I then made my way over to DQM, hoping to finally find some "underground" products and "outlaw" energy. Instead, I just found more stupid hats:



They really should think about changing the name from "Monster Track" to "Monster Hat."

The last Monster Track sponsor I visited was Boneshakers, which is a vegan cycling-themed cafe in Brooklyn under the same ownership as Trackstar bike shop:



Well, at least this business is cycling-related, and whatever you think of veganism at least it's more of a challenge to the status quo than the "All Over Money Hoody." Also, the sandwiches have irreverent names, though I was disappointed to find that "peloton" had been misspelled:


In any case, it seems like a lovely place for a post-ride brunch.

Incidentally, this weekend also marks the start of the New York City road racing season. At first glance, lycra-clad investment bankers on expensive crabon-fiber bicycles would seem to be the very antithesis of "underground" and "outlaw." However, in reality, the local road races take place very early in the morning, nobody watches, and there are no trendy sponsors. Moreover, the bankers are now unemployed, but the "outlaws" seem to have their hands full peddling streetwear. Could it be then that we are in the midst of some kind of "underground/mainstream" inversion, in which the "underground" has gone mainstream and the "mainstream" has gone underground? Or maybe it's much simpler, and this is all just a case of evolving language--"underground" now means "trendy," "outlaw" now means "annual," and "culture" now means "fad."

Either way, if you go to Monster Track, bring an appetite for brunch and money for the DVD, but don't bring brakes.

172 comments:

Anonymous said...

bkf

Der Blaue Reiter said...

UNSTOPPABLE!

Anonymous said...

bam

mattoidbunko said...

"It's a long way to the top..."

Anonymous said...

look ma no brakes = podi!

Pack Phil said...

Rats. No kiss from the podium betty with the big bolt-ons

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

you bitches

LaredoShane said...

Top Ten

Anonymous said...

Tough day...

:-(

Daddo said...

tenium!

hillier99 said...

Top 12

Nick said...

Spray on tan is nice for the spring, when your legs are pastey.

Anonymous said...

top 20

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

do a backflip said...

PAPA WHEELIE, yO!

r. mutt said...

I'm the dogfather of urine culture fo pizzle

eskay said...

You say what I think.
But prettier.

Strayhorn said...

Looks like faux-revolutionaries are in fashion this spring. First we had the weenies at NYU whose antics had the Kampus Kops rolling their eyes. Next I suppose those hard-core kids at Duke will be protesting the hike in latte prices.

N.B. this year's flu really sucks.

goldenlikeashower said...

Damn, one of the best posts yet. Holy shit that was great! Make sure to cover the top of your ears with those flat brims y'all. Bagerk!!!

Anonymous said...

Time for brunch

brighton velo said...

Whew - thank god they don't make money pants.

Anonymous said...

Those awesome caps make me think of the one Marty McFly's kid wore in BTTF-II. I guess that movie really did predict the future.

streepo said...

My face changed to a red colorway because I was laughing so hard.

Anonymous said...

Amebix reference. Nice!
InCase also sponsored the MASH SF tour of California.

sh said...

Though I hear you can now download a "belief system" app.

You're on fire today! Shredding it, Bro.

T. McKay Battles said...

I have a feeling that was not how they wanted to "spread the word." ha.

andrewTest said...

Sweet post....stick it to 'em snobbie

Anonymous said...

these jokes were funnier when you used them for Monstertrack last year.

Anonymous said...

Time to post faux fliers near the water fountains at Prospect Park and at non-boutique shops, like Kissena Bike center. With same locations, but with pudgy lyra-wearing dentists.

Luke said...

Man, I like Mike Green and will be checking out Monster Track. But yeah, what you said. And the revolution will not be televised, and if you think you're catching on TV - even if it's BCAT - it's not the revolution.

Nick said...

N-th!

Anonymous said...

I have become the doyen of urine culture.

T. McKay Battles said...

p.s. strayhorn, i watched the nyu video. it was priceless; one of the most absurd things i've seen in a long time.

Jim said...

>>>Though I hear you can now download a "belief system app."

That's not exactly true. "Belief System" isn't an app, it's merely a patch for the "Smug Conspicuous Consumer" app, which comes pre-loaded on all Apple products since Lisa. Sadly, it hasn't lived up to expectations (it never does, in fact), so some Apple users are now downloading the Belief System patch, or Beta Spirituality, hoping for a more satisfactory user interface experience.

Religion (version 1.0 and later) aren't compatible with OS/X, even though they look remarkably similar and perform a lot of the same functions.

Critical Ass said...

Oh Christ...I'm 40 years old and I've never done "brunch"

Anonymous said...

Somehow I don't think Bob Roll is a vegan.

MightyChin said...

Thanks for the shout!

I'm sure i'll see you around this weekend, hiding your identity but holding a candle for prolly.

Rob said...

I guess i'm out of touch....I usually run/rock/rub "clothes". I guess I need to upgrade to streetwear.

Anonymous said...

I don't need a "belief system app" I've got Lance Armstrong's Twitter to take care of that

Critical Ass said...

***If I use a urinal, am I part of "urine culture?"***

Depends on how long you stay...out West, we call it "cruising"

Mao Zedong said...

Let a hundred flowers bloom; let a hundred schools of thought contend.

Nice hats!

Anonymous said...

Isn't the podium usually the top three finishers?

wishiwasmerckx said...

I note that the "Merckx Werkx" sandwich includes tapenade, which until now I thought was a feminine hygene product.

I also note that the "All Over Money" hoodie is only 4794.44 Japenese Yen. To find a hoodie of this quality for less than 5,000 Japenese Yen is unprecedented. It is no small wonder that they are currently sold out.

Finally, didn't Nobr Akes play percussion and sing backup vocals on Letle Viride's latest CD?

Anonymous said...

So, Snob, you like your Chicken McNuggets with sweet and sour sauce? I prefer mine dipped in cream of sum yung gai.

Anonymous said...

What the fuck is an iPhone?

Anonymous said...

I think "Get money all over the globe" is actually a Che Guevara quote.

hahahahahaha RTMS you're amazing.

Also, I'm confused about the DQM hats -- is that supposed to be an outline of tweety bird or is that an accident? Staring at them, I can't get that little bird out of my head.

Anonymous said...

My colorways are all screwed up today. Brown shirt with gray pants - sheesh! Maybe the correct flat brimmed cap will complete the look...

mzza said...

Wow, you TOTALLY get Mishka in ways perhaps even they don't, so maybe you can you explain this bit from their ad, "starting today"--this part I get, it's obviously written to be read and re-read in the great tradition of 'free beer tomorrow'--"we're slowly making some gear specific to the people who are riding their bikes in the elements everyday..."?

Is slowly made gear specific to every-day riding people or to the elements they ride in? And is that what keeps the brims from curling?

db said...

Wow, nice post, especially at the end with the banker/outlaw compare 'n' contrast.

Everything old is new again.

You must be rockin' the mainstream flu, Strayhorn, 'cause the outlaw flu is over the top.

JPB said...

Why does everybody use the same picture of Charlie Manson on their t-shirts?

Hannah said...

I happen to know that Eddy Merckx would never eat tofurkey.

Pontius Pilate said...

[...]and this is all just a case of evolving language--"underground" now means "trendy," "outlaw" now means "annual," and "culture" now means "fad."

NAILED IT LIKE JESUS TO THE CROSS.

smartypants said...

A fork?

Do they even have those at McD's?

Anonymous said...

bsnyc is an r.mutt

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

I'd really like to fast forward five years so i can start riding my fixed again, this is really getting outa hand.
All I did in my twentys was work and fuck(or tried) I couldn't imagine spending time taking pictures of my self and my skinny friends doing the same pogos and spins over and over and over and over again, posting them on product pushing blogs and then showing up to these fashion shows.Sad

bikesgonewild said...

...somebody dropped the ball if they're only doing hats n' hoodies...

...where are those perfect cycling accoutrements, 'the money-bags' ???...

CommieCanuck said...

Bitter and Jaded, v2.1, is fully compatible with Windows Vista 64.

Critical, brunch is just late breakfast with a slice of cantaloupe. "Power brunch" is similar, except you fire someone before the cantaloupe shows up.

McD's certainly has forks, they are useful for picking out pieces of cow feces from the burgers.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever read Mao's litte red book? It's unspeakably boring, all liberate the workers and empower the peasants, especially when in later years we discover Mao was a total babe hound who liked to indoctrinate, as it were, teenage female peasants. He offers no advice on that front. His jackets were ugly too.

smartypants said...

MINGUS,

What's wrong with your fixed gear bike that you can't ride it now?

Anonymous said...

There is not even any urine culture out West.

Anonymous said...

MINGUS,

What's wrong with your fixed gear bike that you can't ride it now?


He is worried he may be taunted, I would guess.

bikesgonewild said...

..."His jackets were ugly too."...

...ya but they were trendy...just like this shit...whoops, i meant to say "just like this 'streetwear' "...

leroy said...

Is it just me or is there something slightly off about naming a dish at a vegan restaurant after Eddy "The Cannibal" Merckx?

Unless, soylent green is, is, is ....

Oh dear.

This could be disturbing.

Philboy said...

I work at Initech here out west (thats a couple thousand miles past the Lincoln tunnel to you Snobbie). I never heard of urine culture, but they say we have corporate culture. As near as I can tell, its the same thing.

Luck E. said...

No time for clever comments. I'm off for my fitting with Timothy Everest for the greatest cycling suit of all time. Today only!!


A

Anonymous said...

i get pissed almost almost every night - am i a part of urine culture?

monty mn

Udder said...

Why do vegetarians go to such lengths to simulate meat products if they find them so disgusting? (I've asked the same question about gay women who like to dress and look like men.)

The menu items "sham", "tofurky", "tempeh bacon" and "bbq seitan" from the Boneshakers menu are ponderous to this carnivore.

bikesgonewild said...

...five digit tat...

...URINE IDIOT...

shmaltz herring said...

Do you think Che would wear a Che t-shirt if he were still alive today?

malaise said...

i have better things to do than to hate on hipsters.

but nothing better to do than hate on people who hate on hipsters.

hate on you all. man these pants are tight.

Mao Zedong said...

Anon 2:39

百花齐放,百家争鸣

don't blame me if the translation is lousy. everything I said was great.

back to being dead...

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

I was being facetious mister smarty pants.

An older guy on a fixed now a days screams midlife crisis to the uninformed eye, plus I have a front brake so I can't even pose this weekend for all those ladies, ladies do show up for these crazy events don't they?

jolene said...

i duno if you herd theres a outlaw race down at the mmrc at whitesburg in a cupple months i cen my baby down ther with his sleek ol late model but in the meanwhile he dun fergot his hemmit an had te wair a sock on his haid al in all he was the winner but curtis jes letim slide out and then he dad ner had no brakes cuz i told curt that i herd that red and ricky herd that was woosies usedem

all that dippn and natty ice went strait to his haid i near as gess he end up and foud JESUS like you should praise him be like i dun said boy howdy now they started a new sirkit in his memery becus he dont race no more but he still to this day wont let no buddy nohow call him a woosy or a faggit for runnin brakes sos he wont usem on the short track

im tired ayou fukkers shit talkin my work with mcdonnalds its good and i can eat all i want at the end the day it gets throwed out otherwise and the lowlifes gets te havit my boss shane clanton says you dont know what you talk about you should shutup or putup fukkin hippy commie liberal

red you shut up too unless you want everone to know yous a lowlife caint pay yor child suport lerlene done told me

Anonymous said...

Check yourself!

BNY's logo was coopted from an Escape From Alcatraz movie poster...

http://investoolsfx.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/escape_from_alcatraz.jpg

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:14pm,

So it is! I stand corrected.

--BSNYC

Shram said...

As surely as commercials are being inserted into TV shows this blog is more and more frequently a marketing endeavour. No likey. Snob, if you're not getting paid for this, my man, you should be.

Shram said...

and I know, I know, if I don't like it don't read it, right? AYHSMB

Anonymous said...

BSNYC,

So your totally gonna update the post, right?

Thanks,

Anon

Anonymous said...

Hannah, if Merckx would'nt eat tofurkey, would he eat turduckin?

Surly Bastard said...

I used to be part of the "brunch culture" until I decked some fucker in the buffet line for sneezing on my cantaloupe.

Anonymous said...

damn tattoo freaks!

kale said...

My favorite part of brunch culture is the yogurt and sourdough pancakes.

bikesgonewild said...

...承认这一点,毛泽东...你只是一个老sleazeball谁偷走了从农民...

...sorry mao but just sayin'...now, go back to being dead...

Surly Bastard said...

Jolene:

"... at the end of the day?"

When Red see this he's gonna beat you like a rented step-child.

jolene said...

i like to see him try he put one finger on me im callen cps and i sew his ass

send me a snuggie said...

but. shram, it's not like he's pushing stuff he wants, i don't think he's gonna keep his fingers crossed for wide brimmed caps, ya know? it's always been making fun of stuff, and this was definitely all contextual, not gratuitous

joe said...

wow.
best one in a while.

Holly Golightly said...

Truman, er BSNYC-

Do I wear Givenchy or Dolce to the brunch, or to the breakfast?

Anonymous said...

Do vegans swallow?

RM said...

Top 100! suck it.

RM

smovlov said...

its, "yo, lemmie see yo bike right quick!"

Staph said...

I am part of the bacteria culture.

Anonymous said...

What happens if you show up to MonsterTrack with a crabon road bike with brakes and gears? Who's the regulating body in an anarchistic underground game of hide and go seek? If you win with brakes are you disqualified, or just shunned?

red neckerson said...

jolene they ran them dna tests to see if i was the daddy and i matched but so did ricky and jim bob joe bob and billy bob it aint our falt if we all gots the same dna

snobbie and his urine culture

i think hes one of them 'yor peein' fellers

CommieCanuck said...

Leroy...

I heard Soylent Green is PEEPUL!.

But I also heard that automatic weapons for kids was a great idea, so , ...meh.

I Jumped the shark in only three weeks! You can too!.

Stan said...

Why do vegetarians go to such lengths to simulate meat products if they find them so disgusting?

Many vegetarians like the taste of meat.

(I've asked the same question about gay women who like to dress and look like men.)

I am going to assume you are a man. Do you dress and look like a man? Are you sexually attracted to women?

hope that helps.

ant1 said...

Stan, are the manly looking lesbians looking to trick man loving women?

Just thought I'd add a little stupidity.

ant1 said...

I got 99 comments but a bitch ain't one.

ant1 said...

ant100th!

Lance Armstrong's Twitter said...

What food group is caulk?

Anonymous said...

http://twitpic.com/1ni6a

bee suit mafia!

ant1 said...

Have you guys read the new Toto?
http://nyvelocity.com/toto
It features both "rocking", and fixamatosis (sp?) parody picture. Somebody's been keeping up with his snobby.

Anonymous said...

Brunch is the new hipster version of a street brawl...but instead of kicking some muthafucka's asses and picking up your teeth, you just dine on egg dishes and some lovely cantaloupe. Maybe a Mimosa...

Shram said...

send me a snuggie:

I know, he's making fun, and not coming out and saying that he'd buy these products or that we should--obviously too patronizing. But every company's mentioned at least once, complete with links most of their websites...? Unnecessary, that's all I was thinking.

I dunno, maybe I'm feeling curmudgeonly today (sp??) You may be right, because while he makes fun of the fixie "culture", he doesn't deny that he fully takes part in it. And he does love that Rapha hankie.

libertyonbikes! said...

really they should all list their fixed gear bikes on CL or Ebaaaa..,
THEN, go back out and buy that brakeless bmx bike, and go sit on the curb and heckle others as to not get called out that they can't ride for shit - 'cause that's where they all came from*. but it's
ALOT easier to do a couple random 80's freestyle tricks on a fixed gear, then really ride a bmx - plus girls don't like guys that ride kids bikes, that's a known fact. sigh. i guess it's for the girls that bmx kids get fixed gears?

*except those RANDOM few messengers and f/g from years ago
that will still continue to ride.

Stan said...

Stan, are the manly looking lesbians looking to trick man loving women?

Hmm. That seems like it could only go so far...

Could expalin the the insecurity men feel toward butch lesbians tho?

sendmeasnuggie said...

's alright, i am always curmudgeonly. speaking of which, dammit ant1! i went to nyvelocity, which i wouldn't have, and learned there is a race this weekend right by my apt, in prospect park, now i am going to be tempted.....frickin 630 am on a sat morning in february....

kale said...

Ant1 4:55-

Next time you're in NYC stop by the cubbyhole and ask that question.

Anonymous said...

all you hipster haters... you know what to do.

sendasnug said...

anon 525 - raise our hands in the air and wave em like we just don't care?

ant1 said...

kale - I was in DC a few month ago and a couple friends and I stumbled into a random bar at 2am, completely shitfaced. I noticed the "type" people outside, my friends didn't. They asked the bouncer (a female) what kind of place it was. They didn't believe the answer, so we went on in. The scene inside was quite an experience. We didn't stay long, or try to draw any more attention than our beards already did. We just had one beer and left. Quite fun. I'll regale you all with the rest of that story when the time comes.

ant1 said...

snuggie - sorry.

ant1 said...

"type" of people outside, to clarify.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Shram,

Just to clarify, my intention was just to take a look at the fashion companies seeking publicity by associating themselves with this "underground" event. The links were necessary simply so people could see for themselves as well. I think it's obvious I don't care for a lot of this stuff, but others can certainly decide for themselves. And if someone chooses to buy a flat-brimmed hat after following one of these links, then that works out well for both them and the company, though I assure you nobody has asked me (or is compensating me) to mention any of this stuff.

Also, I wouldn't say I take part in "fixie culture," apart from doing most of my commuting on a fixed gear. But as someone who rides a bike in the city, who sees this stuff a lot, and who is familiar with many of the "cultural" references that "fixie culture" makes, I find it all entertaining to observe from a distance. (Especially when it starts contradicting itself.)

All best,

--BSNYC

sendmeasnuggie said...

rtms - with the obvious exception of the snuggie you quite literally forced me to buy

BikeSnobNYC said...

Sendmeasnuggie,

Well, to put it bluntly, you'd have to be an idiot not to buy a Snuggie.

--RTMS

GregMishka said...

this most made me LOL, yes, MONSTER HAT! Oh, you forgot to mention we are hipsters too!

octopus magic said...

Dear RTMS,

As a long time reader, I am actually racing this event (well, the goldsprints at least), and I would like your guidance for how I am to be my best on a poorly fitting IRO.

frilly said...

Snobbie, please tell me you didn't drink the snuggie kool-aid.

Serviceburo said...

OK, so in high school all I wanted was to be cool and I could never quite get there. Now that I'm an adult and I no longer care about being cool, suddenly all the stuff I was doing anyway has become cool? WTF? I'm cutting off my dreads and going to Brooks Brothers.

Anonymous said...

I want a Rapha Snuggie!!!

Anonymous said...

If all the messengers are at MonsterTrack this weekend, who will be hitting up all the parents for money?

bklyn74 said...

Good god, this post coupled with the training-wheels goldsprints pix over at Bike Blog NYC make it difficult to not be mercilessly snarky about the upcoming hip-hop festival, I mean Monstertrack.

thejakesnakes said...

Is that Kevin in the WMNKA picture?

Anonymous said...

I'm so old I can remember when being a hipster meant you were actually hip! Man, how times have changed.

red necerson said...

you fellers can make fun of snuggies but i tried to order some for me jolene joe bob jim bob billy bob and ricky and damm if they aint backordered im not shitting you

Ken Kovar said...

download a "belief system app."... bsnyc, your active recovery got you some snap in your blogging legs!

Francis Snuggieton III said...

Mr. Neckerson:

I apologize for your Snuggie delay. The demand has skyrocketed due to the salesmanship of Mr. RTMS's product placement campaign.

Now, I have to get back to getting these motherfuckin snakes off this motherfuckin plane.

Sincerely,

Francis Snuggieton III

Anonymous said...

Man oh man I wish they did Money Snuggies that would be wicked

Anonymous said...

I didn't see a single wankin'spankin'pud'taken fixter freak on Palomar Mountain for the final stage of The Tour! This means that Fixters are just a bunch of wannabee bike riders who are more into posing and are probably going to become a bunch of queers!

asdfghjkl said...

For the longest time I was pretty sure you were a total Douche Bag. Now...now I'm not so sure. Cycling is music. Riding fixed is the band that made you feel something until you heard it in an Urban Outfitters. It's your old record store that was bought out by monied impostors, that still sells the same music but the clientele has changed. Mark my words; there will be a Hollywood production coming out in the next few months, the co-star of which will be the ultra-hip,half-bearded,Columbus cap wearing, possibly mohawked fixed gear guy who will help his straight-laced friend through the insipid relationship quagmires that pass for comedic drama.He will have a Kryptonite lock in his belt through out the entire film, and will make just enough obscure cycling references to please the posers in the audience that got all they need to know about sport from Google. The point being:Thats how bad it's gotten. For you to expose D-baggery almost as instantaneously as it is shat upon us is commendable. I will look forward to more reading.

innerlighter said...

if I am in a group of societal elites who eat yogurt promoted by Boy George am I part of a cultured Culture Club culture culture?


meh.

and I find it odd that a vegan eatery has cheese on the menu.

leroy said...

According to Faith Popcorn, the next big thing will be a Rapha produced Snuggie with a Bike Snob Seal of Disapproval logo.

bikesgonewild said...

...asdfghjkl...excellent post...

...while i've never thought of bsnyc/rtms as personally approaching 'douche-baggery', the rest of yer post is spot on...

..."cycling is music"...yep...that's why you'll never see me listening to an i-pod when i'm riding...don't wanna miss the real music 'cuz i'm listening to somebody else sing their tune...

...'my generation' was lucky enough to have "breaking away" & that flic even fits (in a way) certain young cyclists i know nowadays...different but the same...
...but you're quite right, there's a lotta pretense out there & today's movie would be a very different story...

...all i can say is, god bless 'em for at least riding bikes...will they all still be riding 40 years down the road ???...i can only hope they see the beauty in cycling enough to do just that...

Anonymous said...

agreed.

Flam said...

Yo, let me see your Snuggie real quick...

stuggy said...

Hey Rob 2:01-

I don't know about run/rock/rub-ing "streetwear," but I'd sure like to run/rock/rub that chick in the Mishka "Lookbook."

Rowrrrr!

stuggy said...

Alright, Stan and Ant1 - what about men who dress and look like women, but who are sexually attracted to women?

How's that one work?

smartypants said...

Frilly - nice avatar pic. REPRESENT!

ant1 said...

stuggy - maybe it's the same concept as snobby's mainstream/underground switch. Everyone is trying to switch places with the other side. I blame it on the magnetic poles of the earth getting ready to switch places again. What was new is now old, good is now bad, black white, the rythm is now the bass, and the bass the treble, the first shall be last and the last shall be first... It's just another sign of the coming alpalcalips. we're all screwed.

CommieCanuck said...

competition to the Snuggie, the what the fuck blanket.

Anonymous said...

monsters! warriors! underground! steetwear! anarchy! no brakes! brunch! flat brims! wool! tattoos! armstrong! sponsors! messengers! legends! heros! head gear! look books! clapton! fashion! mainstream! marxism! so all so so underground. FTW!

ant1 said...

anon 9:37 -
try that in the XXXX XXXX KNUK TATS format.

CommieCanuck said...

Kate Hudson loves her LIVESTRONG Snuggie

sendmeasnuggie said...

our parents thought we were douchebags too.....it's just the dissemination of douchery that has upped the ante. they are also my favorite band

frilly said...

Stuggy, it doesn't work.

frilly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kale said...

Sneak peek at the MonsterTrackX spoke card:

I limited my credit cards with all this fixed gear culture paraphernalia (in the correct colorways, harumph!) and all I got was this stupid spoke card.

Shram said...

Oh Bike Snob, Bike Snob (oh god I'm starting to sound like the OC!),

I'm fine with your product placements, I know I'd do the same thing. But on one point I must contest: you ARE part of the fixie culture, and bike culture more generally. You want to be observing from afar, but you can't now that you're popular. Look how many interviews you've done, these people are coming to you as someone in the know, like it--or make fun of it--or not.

Anonymous said...

i would have to agree with the oc sounding shram on that one...actually even more so than half the people out there you are making fun of. a lot of em, clearly not all of them, are just riding their bikes. even if they put on a hipster cyst or have some other trapping, they are more or less just getting around. you, on the other hand (and i am very happy about this, don't get me wrong) are entirely caught up with trends, styles, etc. etc.

frilly said...

Thanks, Smarty. Honestly, if I don't quit falling off my bike, anybody who happens to be riding in my vicinity does stand a chance of getting crushed.

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:14:

vous semblent expliquer cyclist/person-on-a-bike dichotomy.

Bill said...

if you take requests, please expose these goofballs (that sounds wrong)

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/25/dining/25brooklyn.html?_r=1&8dpc

equal parts 19th and 21st century? that guy in the band with plastic glasses?

Anonymous said...

merde

smartypants said...

Frilly -

Embrace it! Us multisport people are supposed to be clumsy on two wheels.

On another note, fan of DZ or not, I hope everybody keeps an eye out for all the stuff recently stolen from his home.

Anonymous said...

the Peleton samich has provlone....cheese? not vegan, right?

Anonymous said...

Boneshaker's don't seem to know much about sandwiches.

Merckx famously rode with a raw steak in his shorts in his final tour due to saddle sores.

"The Hill Bomber" sounds like vegan packfill.

Anonymous said...

毛泽东: 牛肉在哪儿?

Hannah said...

I bet he would give turducken a try.

Andrew said...

No, no, it's the Pelé-ton. It's this sandwich that Pelé could literally eat one ton of in a sitting, and they want to pay tribute both to his legendary appetite and to his legendary bicycle kick.

Tony said...

At Least he spelled brakes right...

I'm sure there's a few knuckle tats out there spelled "NO BREAKS"

Anonymous said...

Anyone want a "men's" crappy old ten-speed with a step-through frame?

MightyChin said...

Look! Penguins!

Anonymous said...

http://www.cambridgebicycle.com/blog/index.php?number=173&action=1##comments

Vegeterian Environmentalist said...

Just getting through your blog, sorry about the late comment.

Anyways, commerce/capitalism can be pretty underground. If you grew up in a communist state you would have seen it. Also consider the drug trade.

Anyways, you seem to have a good grip on anarchy, but continue to confuse the current state of consumerism in the US with a free market. There isn't anything wrong with capitalism at any level (including underground). The problem is the State pushing the invisible hand.

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