Friday, January 30, 2009

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!


(Image by CycleJerk)

Firstly, with regard to The Great Fyxomatosis Photo Parody Contest (Presented by Boston Whaler Boats--The Unsinkable Legend) I plan to finally announce a winner next week. I'm sorry for the delay, but to be honest judging this contest has taught me a great deal about myself, and one of the things I've learned is that I can be indecisive when it comes to picking a winner from a vast pool of bike porn. Another thing I've learned is that, despite (or perhaps because of) having been raised by tuber farmers, I absolutely hate water chestnuts. Also, I had to wait for more smocks. In any case, feel free to browse the submissions, and again, if you don't find yours (and you submitted by December 31st, the official deadline) let me know. Announcement to follow next week.

Secondly, I would like to end the week with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know it one way or another. If you're wrong, you'll see some guy working on a bike while doing a trackstand on a p-far.

Many thanks for reading, and for bearing with me as I looked deep within myself in order to choose the best obscene bike-related photo. Ride safe this weekend, and support your local tuber farm.


--BSNYC/RTMS








1) This photo is most remarkable because:

--The person on the left is wearing a t-shirt tucked into half shorts
--The p-far rider is running/rocking/rubbing a CamelBak
--The photo was taken in 1872
--The p-far's front rim says "All You Tuber Farmers Suck My Balls"




2) This bike is:

--For sale on Craigslist for $1,300
--On display in the official "Museum of BMX History," which is located in the laundry room of a split-level home in Floral Park
--Prolly's newest "whip"
--Running/rocking/rubbing the only remaining Z-Rim wheelset on the planet Earth





3) Which professional road team's 2009 kit sports a fine example of the time-honored "illustrated six-pack?"

--Rock Racing
--Caisse d'Epargne
--Columbia
--Katusha




4) What is this?

--The latest Primal Wear armwarmer
--The latest Fabric Horse utility belt
--A shot from a law enforcement officer-themed porno site
--The "tat jacket"




5) What does this contraption have in common with retired pro cyclist Johan Museeuw's line of bike?

--Dual disc brakes
--Relaxed geometry
--It floats over the cobbles
--It's made of flax




6) This rider, spotted by a reader in Seattle, WA, is carrying what brand of beer?

--Rainier
--Genesee Cream Ale
--Natural Light
--Duvel



7) This bike is a rare and valuable "collabo" between Mike Sinyard of Specialized and Grant Petersen of Rivendell.

--True
--False


8) "RBMBL" stands for:

--Rubber Band-Mounted Brake Lever
--Rear Bridge-Mounted Brake Lever
--Rocky Mountain Biological Laboratory
--Rubbing Brakes Makes Bikes Lame



9) What city is this folding polo bike from?

--New York
--Melbourne
--London
--Hong Kong

***Special "Words of Wisdom" Bonus Question!***

"...tricks are rad. personally hella stoked on all the crazy shit kids are coming up with on these bikes. just don't hate on those of us who still find the most exciting aspect of riding a fixed gear bicycle being the times when your ipod is blasting your favorite metal band at full volume while downhill through heavy traffic trying to catch all the green lights and passing up all the cars. and yes, there are peeps in sf with BMW gangsta tracks, and volume cutters, with DMR forks, etc. etc. - just like in skateboarding there's dudes that rock big fat wheels and only skate tranny and pools, and then theres dudes that skate smaller wheels on street. just two different styles of manipulating a fixed wheel, neither is better than the other - everyone needs to chill out about it! they are both awesome in their own ways. yahll needs to just smoke some joints and be happy. we are the building blocks of this shit. stay positive!"

Who said this?

--A Trackosaurusrex reader, commenting on Prolly's bike
--Prolly, commenting on a Trackosaurusrex reader's bike
--A Fixedgeargallery owner's comments on his submission, a completely stock Giant Bowery
--John Burke, CEO of The Great Trek Bicycle Making Company, at a recent public presentation in Omaha about the bicycle and its role in combatting global warming

131 comments:

Johno said...

yahoo!

Anonymous said...

up there...

ant1 said...

ant1st!

kale said...

Dammit Ant1 I just lost my shirt!!!

red neckerson said...

top ten libary lady

Surly Bastard said...

Fashionably top ten

Anonymous said...

Top Ten... early today, Snob!

smovlov said...

top 10!!

fantz crazznapper said...

Top ten

RM said...

Top 10!

RM

Anonymous said...

Raaar

ant1 said...

Sorry kale. I almost just left for lunch, but I figured I'd hit refresh one more time for turds and giggles.

tajblues said...

google!

No goal godfrey said...

I almost copied some porn onto here, whew!

Bear Shirt said...

Catching a top twenty?

erik k said...

all you haters can suck my balls

AH said...

I don't think that's a camelback the p-far dude is running/rocking/riding.

The tube is emerging from the front of his pants -- I'm afraid it might be a large-gauge catheter, and that he's a member of some obscure midwestern p-far gang who drink their own urine.

Flawed Dog said...

top 20. damn they keep moving the finish line

wishiwasmerckx said...

When I first saw the P-far in the back of the shop, I thought it was actually recorded in my very own LBS. Then it occurred to me that the back of EVERY LBS looks just about the same.

southpole said...

hi, i have a question to yesterdays post but post it here lest it be ignored.
as we learned in the movie "knocked up" you have to ride bare ass to get pinkeye.
this raises the question:
is it really hands that were used with the handelbar condoms presented yesterday, or was another body part fitted to the handlebars?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Considering that we are mostly degenerates (that is to say, we are mostly men), I was surprised that we made it through yesterday's comment section without a single comment about the spangle-covered cooch on the trick-bike rider.

kale said...

Does this mean that Snob's a FGFS apologist vis-à-vis trackasaurus rex post on Prolly's bike?

Bear Shirt said...

I think that P-far guy is competing in the bone-shaker version of the Tour, and has stopped so his team mechanic can replace a broken spoke. It takes awhile, as he has to whittle them from a nearby oak, but he's in no hurry. His nearest competitors are over 100 years behind him.

RM said...

I thought that was a dude in yesterday's post. Scary.

RM

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

innerlighter said...

not trying for the podium1st!

RM said...

I am sure you have mentioned these in your post before but Kale's icon gave me the inspiration to check out their website.

These things always crack me up. You should check out Trikke tricks on YouTube as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpLDaP03hrU

360's sic!

RM

ZaskarLE said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

The 3rd picture of the Columbia team looks like they are cartoon figures... those shirts make them all look like the wobble head figures...

ZaskarLE said...

The NY times is doing a review on commuter lights...

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2009/01/28/fashion/0129-PHYS_index.html


I think they didn't hit all the details in full. Care to elaborate further on them Snob?

Anonymous said...

1300

Anonymous said...

oh man, i wish "John Burke, CEO of The Great Trek Bicycle Making Company, at a recent public presentation in Omaha about the bicycle and its role in combating global warming" had been the right answer

conspiracy theorist said...

anonymous 1:02

It was man, that's exactly what Burke said. The mainstream snobby bloggers are trying to cover it up!

Nick said...

top 34!

Climbin'J said...

I took the liberty of translating the "words of wisdom" through a free online service:

"the turns are there. personally the hella charged on all the insane children with shit provide on these bicycles. just don't hatred of us who always find the most enthralling aspect to mount a bicycle being times when your iPod breath your metal coil. none of both is better than other - everyone must from concerning cooling! yahll must smoke some connections only and happy to be. we are the construction toes of this shit. aytfsmb!"

RM said...

I'm pretty sure the 'tat jacket' is not a new concept, it's called long sleeves.

And why would anyone with full sleeve tats even want a job where they would have to cover them up? Really? A cop?

I have nothing against tattoos and I probably shouldn't have said anything b/c I know what this is going to start...

If you have visible tattoos live it, that was the whole fucking point of gettin' them done in the first place.

RM

and yes I have tattoos, what's it to ya?

RM said...

live with it

Anonymous said...

RM-

Gang tattoos are hard to explain when you're a cop.

Especially the Iron Triangle tramp stamp.

Anonymous said...

I'd get invisible tattoos but then people would hate me for who I really am.

Lance Armstrong's twitter said...

Anyone in the cancer community would instantly recognize the "tat jacket" as a repurposed lymphedema compression sleeve.

Anonymous said...

Inside I am a sea of aching ink.

Anonymous said...

I need an axe. Pass the book.

Anonymous said...

Brrr.

Anonymous said...

OK I'll stop now. Happy weekend all.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Decatur. Just another reason to laught at my hometown, right at the top of this blog.

RM said...

All very good points. Thanks for clarifying.

themanwiththegoldenkickstand said...

The last time I was approached by a cop with pantie hose on his arms was outside the SF Eagle when I was 17. SF Eagle

Lucky 7 said...

Beatrice really is the cheese . . . fierce and fast.


A

Anonymous said...

woulda ace if not for the f**king BMX on q2! are we at 800 yet??

BikeSnobAustin IV said...

The cancer community? How do I join?!
I took years before I felt like I was a functioning member of the cycling community which in many ways feels like a kind of cancer community.

Lymph Notes (a cancerous anatomical play on words)

Commiecanuk said...

The tube coming from that P-far rider is not a Camelback. As mentioned by AH (often misspelled HA), it's a catheter tube.

It was very fashionable in the 1800s to drink one's own urine while riding to maintain virility and potency. This was followed by urinating in aluminum bottles for drinking in the early 1900s, and finally replacing urine with water in plastic bottles in 2006.

Anonymous said...

Next the catheter will make a comeback, being directly inject in to the rider via IV... at least I hope.

Anonymous said...

injected into

Anonymous said...

blah

Anonymous said...

Those P-Far riders are soft. Real cyclists drink each others urine.

Anonymous said...

The bears that the eagle (there's a PDX one too) will oblige your pee-fetish.

Lucky said...

Flax fiber bike will have solar battery for "power assisted recumbent riding".

Now, it just needs automated steering and the "rider" can concentrate fully on being a complete tool.

But, who will adjust the helmet mirror?

AAAARgh! Back to the drawing board.

smartypants said...

I will not recognize the flax fiber bike as a noteworthy addition to efficiency culture until it can solve the three fundamental flaws of the modern toilet.

Jim said...

>>>>What does this contraption have in common with retired pro cyclist Johan Museeuw's line of bike?

Um, it's good enough to ride to the win at Paris-Roubaix if your name is Johann Museeuw and you just happen to have injected an entire hogshead of EPO into your ass?

kale said...

The flax bike also comes in fiberglass, with an electric motor, drink-holders , and it's called a golf cart.

Can it do wheelies? I think not!

snatch'n'grab said...

anon 1:42 - those your words? very nice, i may have to steal them for a song.

Team Rider 3 said...

Fake Lance news conference ala Fatty at Team Two Wheel blog.

Rider 3

Anonymous said...

Team Rider

If you're not selling male enhancement - don't spam the comments every day.

Mega Podiumite Fierce Panties said...

AH

The tubing visible in #1 of the Friday Fun Quiz is actually the extension tubing connected to the catheter. The extension tubing typically is a larger diameter than the actual catheter.

For all RTMS readers interested, the name of the system is the Urophagia Cameltoe Bladder Free Hydration Device or UCTBFHD. The Cameltoe name is a trade name derived from the appearance of the tubing and the penis that is compressed under Lyrca forming the look of the traditional camel toe.
Also, the Bladder Free nomenclature can be misleading. Bladder Free refers to the lack of a hydration bladder, while the UCTBFHD catheter dwells in the rubber's anatomical bladder.
Urinary catheters are sized in French units and the trendy cath in the p-far scene is the 22 French Coudé that has a 45° bend at the tip to allow easier passage through an enlarged prostate.

The prostate in these men are typically not enlarged, but there is currently a pervasive prostate obsessed hysteria, POH, in the p-far culture. In most cases a non-Coude is appropriate.

The Coude is often the catheter of choice of clinicians when caring for men with prostate cancer. The choice of the coude for the UCTBFHD is a nod of solidarity and support to those survivors of the cancer community.

Once I backwashed into my UCTBFHD and ended up admitted as an inpatient with pyelonephritis and I haven't used it since.

Anonymous said...

Fist!

dmitri fofonov said...

Device with tubing extending to penis and beyond very common in Siberia as I am learning. Being flushed with hot water or vodka, or even hot vodka to maintain proper body temperature during exposure to harsh Siberian winter.

Temperature at Privetnoya, little outstopping past Novobilsk, climbing to 30 below the zero. Am hoping you Americans spend very much money to make temperature go down.

Lucky 7 said...

Screw the airbrushed 6-pack jersey. I want a Mr. Goodbody kit!


A

Anonymous said...

Slim Goodbody = TEAM RTMS kit

1:42 said...

MPFP I am in awe.

snatch'n'grab take them they were mine now they are free.

I think I'd rather hear a song penned by MPFP though, perhaps sung in Brazilian Portuguese so I could stand it.

Gaudy Creaky Fashion Weenie said...

wishiwasmerckx,

I thought I recognized the artistic cyclist from yesterdays post at the transexual-specific "massage" parlor that Kale was talking about yesterday.

But mostly I was relieved that I have not yet seen any fixters rockin that move on a whip in the city streets.
If I did I would be moved to give some respect, and I'm not ready to do that.

Anonymous said...

Rock/run/rub dem tats wit pride yo!
Long sleeves fo' junkies! Werd!

Anonymous said...

Juxtaposing Slim Goodbody and RTMS in my mind...

bikesgonewild said...

...thank you, mr erik k...

...ah, not for the statement but once again for the lovely foto montage...

...more & more appropriate in these troubled times...

Kale said...

GCFW 3:47-

I've yet to see any fixter, let alone any cyclist, with enough arm strength to pull that move off.

Must be doping.

smartypants said...

So, which is worse: Someone with no tattoos wearing Primal's sleeves, or someone WITH tattoos wearing these tat jacket things?

What would happen if someone with the Primal tattoo sleeves pulled a pair of tat jackets over them? Then who would hate/accept them? Or, if someone with tattoos put tat jackets on, THEN the primal sleeves?

Screw the bridge said...

http://www.castlecraft.com/water_bike.htm

Lucky 7 said...

TEAM RTMS

Let me know when the Slim Goodbody kits arrive. I'm off to feed the seal.


A

bloodline said...

don't say nothin'

ken e. said...

SHAR KHOP

bikesgonewild said...

...hey, screw the bridge...

...i'd skim/splash/glide one a' those any day...cool ride...

leroy said...

Aaarrrgh!!

All wrong except for two!

I even missed the bonus question discussing Prolly's new bike.

I forgot the convenient memory device for identifying authorship of fixed gear gushing:

"Silly rabid, tricks are for kids."

CommieCanuck said...

Anonymous 2:17 said...

Those P-Far riders are soft. Real cyclists drink each others urine.


Great to see a fellow supporter of OUCH.

Lance Armstrong's Twitter said...

PISS TEST

dick pound said...

...ummmm...salty

Wade said...

I was just looking for a You Tube video of a Surly Pugsley in the snow (what more is there to do with 53 minutes remaining of a Friday workday?) and came upon this intimate look at Lance at play and even some brief footage of the bowels of his Austin compound. Could this be some kind of hoax? Sorry I don't know how to make links tidy and highlighted. it's entitled Mash SF Austin with Lance Armstrong. It's worth it to see the glimpse at the end of the Lance Armstrong Museum inside the compound. Sure I have a few of my fourth-grade field day ribbons framed (3rd Place in the softball throw, honorable mention in the broad jump), but it seems a bit excessive to have such a wall of yellow, the jerseys all dry cleaned and behind glass (along with the number one).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNCPEzdZs5s&feature=related

BikeSnobAustin IV said...

Wade,

Welcome to my personal hell.

For full haterism please use the proper name of this soulless, godforsaken, and barren bicyclescape, The Lance Armstrong Presidential Library and Museum.

Thank you,

BikeSnobAustin IV

Anonymous said...

Commiecanuk 2:07

it is spelt camelbak. Ha!

Bluenoser said...

I see the model is testing the seat height by placing her heel on the pedal at the bottom of the stroke. Her smile says that she must have found it but is in need of overbite work. Perhaps she can find a cycing dentist. If she does he will be Rocking/Riding/Rubbing something expensive.

Just let me know who the winner of the decal is Snobbie and it's in the mail.

-B

Anonymous said...

that six pack outfit is so geeky, does no one make a star trek outfit?

Bluenoser said...

That's if I can spell the address correctly.

-B

Anonymous said...

That P-Far dude is just way ahead of the style curve for most people to even begin to understand.
First, he's rocking that bitevalve through the right side beltloop, then held in position with the 8" red tie. So cool.
Second, check out the knickers with the triple silver grommets. I mean wow, Rapha eat your heart out.
And lastly he shows Lance that if your going to piss off the Italians with your ugly "tall socks", do it right with the new Swobo "Tall Dogs"!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Smartypants, step away from the bong before you hurt yourself. Better yet, go to your fridge and mix some real butter into your tub of "I Can't Believe it's not Butter," then spend a few hours contemplating the metaphysical implications of what you have done.

southpole said...

ok i looked it up. i think this is the
artistic bicycle girl:
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=MiE1Qm7HSd8
that video was obviously shot in
hamburg, germany, where that lab is i was
talking about. so i guess she does have
a PhD in particle physics (in a addition
to one in fixed gear freestyling?)
btw that platform is a bmx hotspot
usually, located above a museum,
probably closed for the purpose of the shot

frilly said...

All thats missing on that one bike is a 'Just Married' sign. Nah, then it would have to be a tandem.

Ba da bum!

Bluenoser said...

http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=MiE1Qm7HSd8

Holly Shit,

Where was Prolly when all of this took place?

-B

Menotomy Vintage Bicycles said...

Ya know, you go to a cycle show and there are all these 50+ year old dudes who drive there in their Volvos, but they're wearing bike shorts. I mean WTF.
It looks like a vinyard.

50+ year old dude said...

Hey, Menotomy Vintage Bicycles, get off of my lawn!

Serviceburo said...

Yeah, I remember when I used to bomb through traffic with my favorite speed metal blasting on the iPod. Now my left collarbone is no longer fully attached to the rest of my shoulder. This guy's a freakin' genious.

Gnarles Darwin said...

I wish I could rub a Ranier beer on my Panda Bike's rack made of tinfoil.

Great quiz, I aced it and my girlfriend cooked me a steak for doin such a good job.

Get out there and have a good ride this weekend.

Bluenoser said...

100.

Yes.

-B

Philip Williamson said...

ant101st!

Ines Brunn said...

get the fuck up out my toilet...

Gaude Olde & Testy said...

Serviceburo,

It's always a good idea to sound a little more intelligent than the person who you call an idiot.

Regarding your injury, I would recommend the following, "I fell off of my bicycle, and now have a chronic injury to the AC joint. The acromioclavicular joint is formed by the outer end of the clavicle and the acromion process of the scapular. The acromion is a bony process which protudes forwards from the upper part of the scapular. This joint forms the highest part of the shoulder. I was a fucking idiot, and not only does it hurt me to see other riders risking injury, but I feel like an olde grouche. And also I am reminded of how much I hurt while rubbing."

Now you're primed to call out the idiots because it should be obvious to all that you know what you're talking about.

Daddo said...

man, I could go for a Ranier right now

Axle Creep said...

Fact is stranger than fiction

hillier99 said...

Lantern Rouge!

Girls Bick said...

I have a girls bick that is used and in good shape. It might need a little oil on the chain. If interested I will show it to any one who wants it.
I have it for sale for $350.00 or best offer. Answer this ad with your name and phone number Bick is in garage in Little Neck and you must be able to pick it up. I can't deliver it. (no picture)

brettok said...

A "girl's bick"? $350 seems a lot for a pen that can't be used by a man.

Anonymous said...

If you click through the link on question 7 that bike is referred to as a mixte. That's not a mixte at all, it's just your average lady's bike.

red neckerson said...

me and ricky been holded up in the pubic libary because of the ice storm and the libary lady wont let us look at the fuck books or porn on the computer so me and ricky been looking at the kids books and we figured out that you can rite any kind of stupid bullshit you want and if someone draws good pictures then itll get put out as a kids book so me and ricky are going to gets into the kids book bizness

heres our first pome

the itsy bitsy spider
went out onto his deck
down came the rain
and took his welfare check
the isty bitsy spider ten voted for da man
and he moved on down to viper
where ricky and i beet the shit out of him

i knows that last line needs to be rerote because its like a first draft or something

Yinzer said...

Here we go Stillers! Here we go!

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:21

Good catch.

But if you still have the need to snob on a ladies bike then check out the Teen Vogue whip: the ALL YOU HATERS SUCK MY BALLS message is misaligned on the lime green deep vee and the decals are not opposite the valve stem but are between 1 to 3 o'clock.

Johnny Sprocket said...

Fixie hipsters have it down. You filter the urine through the top tube pad first.

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to getting from point A to point B in one piece?

Anonymous said...

well,well,well!my humble polo bike has made it to BIKESNOB :)i must point out though,the fold was so sloppy after 6 months of polo that i had to braze it shut!and its actually a recycled stormwater drain exploring bike.yes!no shit!as we say in the clan "GO IN DRAYNES" before that incarnation it was an ESKA shopping bike,the kind with a long forgotten pump slowly rusting away in the seat tube.thanks to my bosses neighbour who dumped it on the nature strip,she was actually pleased to see it reborn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
onyas.petebikepolo.

Harumph said...

That Cool Wave Float isn't made by Boston Whaler Boats (The Unsinkable Legend).

I feel deceived.

ez said...

The model's bike is upsetting... why would you use a brake on rims that are not machined for brakes (no braking surface)?

Anonymous said...

ez, there are lots of rims out there that aren't machined. My vintage roadie has a set.

ez said...

That's true, but those rims are specifically not for brakes... they make a machined sidewall version for use with brakes.

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