Tuesday, December 23, 2008

This Just in: I Break for Holidays!

With the holidays upon us, it is now time for me to don my black skinsuit, slither into my teardrop-shaped aero coffin, fold my hands over my chest, and have my longtime Polish soigneur Thadeusz carefully tighten the Allen bolts on the coffin's carbon fiber lid (with a torque wrench, of course), thus sealing me in until this whole unfortunate mess is over.  (I will stress though that it's a coffin and not a recumbent!  The wheels are simply to help Thadeusz roll me into the basement.)  So this means I'll be signing off as of today.  However, I will be back on Tuesday, December 30th to remind you once again of the contest deadline (see yesterday's post) as well as to administer a general upbraiding.

In the meantime, I'd like to take you on a short virtual tour of New York City, which at the moment is cold and icy.  I'm still trying to figure out a practical way to render a "scratch and sniff" blog post, but until I do you'll just have to make do with audio.  (It is New York City, though, so if you want the full sensory experience you could always try reading this in the bathroom.):

Here is the Manhattan Bridge bike path (looking towards Manhattan), which the city could not be bothered to clear.  To experience what it was like to ride walk across it yesterday evening:

1) Launch a new browser window;
2) Play this;
3) Minimise the window;
4) Stare at the photo.

For the not-safe-for-work version, say the "f-word" repeatedly while you watch.  Also, it's interesting to note that cyclists in New York rarely greet each-other while riding; however, they do wave and say hello when they're pushing their bikes on foot.  New Yorkers are only friendly under duress.

Once you arrive in Manhattan, the streets themselves are clear and thus perfectly rideable.  However, the city did take pains to make sure any protected bike lanes remained uncleared.  Here's one that is a block of ice.  I present to you two ways to virtually enjoy this bike lane:

1) The Sincere Way

1) Launch a new browser window;
2) Play this;
3) Minimize the window;
4) Stare at the photo.

2) The Ironic Way

1) Launch a new browser window;
2) Play this;
3) Minimize the window;
4) Stare at the photo.


New Yorkers have weathered financial crises, terrorist attacks, blackouts, poor performances by their professional sports teams, and draconian trans fat laws.  However, one thing we can't seem to weather is weather.  The sort of light dusting of snow that would hardly compel a Minnesotan to change out of his or her bikini is enough to halt our subways, cause massive vehicular pile-ups, and drive people into their homes with the Sunday Times and a week's supply of bagels.  And forget about riding bicycles.  Of course, the upside of this weather-wussiness is there's plenty of bike parking at those new sheltered bike racks, which you can't even get anywhere near on a nice day.  (And the bikes that you do see have obviously been there since June, when their owners came to their senses and moved back to Marin or wherever everyone in New York seems to be from these days.)  Here's what it was like at the one in Union Square yesterday evening:

1) Launch a new browser window;
2) Play this;
3) Minimize the window;
4) Stare at the photo.

Yes, people visiting New York for the first time are often surprised by how much it sounds like a swamp.  (They do expect the swampy smell though.)


Having finished my business in town, I returned to Brooklyn.  Since the Manhattan Bridge was frozen solid and I was unable to purchase a pair of studded tires at the Whole Foods in Union Square (I was instead thrown out after I smashed a jar of gourmet chutney in a fit of anger) I decided to try my luck with the Brooklyn Bridge.  While that too was a mess, it was at least rideable, since tourists are more important than cyclists so the city actually bothered to put down some salt.  (Richard Sachs is building me a custom lugged bicycle-mounted salt spreader, but I won't have it for another seven years.)  Here's what it was like on the bridge:

1) Launch a new browser window;
2) Play this;
3) Minimize the window;
4) Stare at the photo.

All things considered, it could be a lot worse here in New York for us cyclists.  Sure, nobody clears our bike lanes, but at least the police don't rock/run Aerospokes:



Penultimately, before I go I'd also like to put on my trend-forecasting hat (it's the one with the propeller on top) and declare that the hot new fixed-gear component for 2009 is going to be wooden handlebars, as you can see here:

We've seen these before, and it's nice to see another builder following suit.  Oddly-shaped wooden bars are a perfect choice for the dilettante fixed-gear rider since they: 1) don't allow for brake levers; 2) don't allow for grips; and 3) have the potential to splinter before you ride hard enough to actually need a brake anyway.  Sure, I know many people tout the strength of wood, and I'm sure there are people out there who will explain that a well-built wooden handlebar is more than strong enough for this application, and that wood has served us well as a building material for thousands of years, and that the Amish flew to the moon and back in a wooden spaceship, and so forth.  Well, that all may be, but I still don't buy it.  Retrogrouchery is one thing, but primitivism is something else entirely.  Plus, I visited this guy's website and noticed a disturbing inconsistency:


Having a handmade handlebar and a pre-built Cane Creek wheel on the same bike is like making your own pie crust and then stuffing it full of Jell-O.  Furthermore, if this person expects his customers to trust wood as a material, he should display some real confidence in it himself by using other wooden components as well, such as wooden rims.  Actually, the only way he could really convince me that he truly believes wood is strong enough for cycling would be if he were prepared to put his money where his crotch is by using a wooden seatpost.

Until then, I'm not buying--even if he does eventually offer a beaver-chewed finish option:


By the way, speaking of beavers, it's worth noting that this photograph is one of the few that is actually more obscene in sepia, since in this case the sepia tone serves to highlight the double entendre:



Lastly, before I take off my trend-forecasting hat and seal myself in my carbon fiber sarcophagus until the 30th, I'd like to share this bold new innovation from Toronto, which comes courtesy of a reader:

Fixed gear bike. - $500 (Annex)
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-12-20, 9:46PM EST

I put this bike together just a few weeks ago. Fresh paint, new chain, pedals, wheels/cog/lock ring. It rides very very quietly and smooth. The horn is incredibly annoying and awesome.

It's like aroma therapy in a cup.

If you'd like more photos or have questions just email me. Asking $500. (very negotiable)




A Reverse-Mounted Brake Lever (RMBL) and a Fork-Mounted Bulb Horn (FMBH) are both signs that, when it comes to fixed-gear innovation, it may take more than just some beaver-chewed bicycle components to compete with our neighbors to the north.  I'm not sure what the Canadian dollar is worth these days, but I'm also not sure it matters since this disaster isn't worth 500 units of any currency on Earth.  (And that includes the wood shavings left behind by beavers and traded for goods and services by certain indigenous peoples in parts of North America.) 

At any rate, many thanks as always for reading and for commenting.  (I'm flattered by all comments, even the negative ones.  They're like presents beneath the spiky, toxic evergreens of bitterness that are my posts.)  Ride safe, and see you on December 30th.


--BSNYC/RTMS



142 comments:

Mark said...

Podium HO!

Ayan!! said...

Damn you!

leroy said...

It’s a Festivus miracle!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8g4Ztf7hIM&feature=related

Anonymous said...

near the top

brettok said...

Snobby, as you and Sunken are "pals" now, can you use your influence toi encourage him to return to the fray and ressurect 'The Truth Hurts'... I feel strangely empty and directionless.

Ben said...

Last!

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

Anonymous said...

top ten

Anonymous said...

Merry Hanukah, or happy, or whatever dickface

Matt! said...

heeeeeeeelo Brooklyn.

Anonymous said...

top 10!

brettok said...

Oh yeah, Happy Festivus!

Anonymous said...

All these posts with YouTube links would be a lot more entertaining if YouTube wasn't blocked at work.

Pavel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ant1 said...

ant1st!

scrooge said...

now what am i going to do for the next 6 days ?!?!?!

i suppose i could start christmas shopping now.

streepo said...

Merry something and Happy whatever!!

I need to go shave my beaver.

Peter Pedantic said...

That's upbraiding, Snob.

Critical Ass said...

For those DIY fixters on a budget, you too can be cool with a broom handle and a crosscut saw. Try to find a broom handle with a diameter of about 26 mm. Note: wooden handlebars are not yet NJS approved.

red neckerson said...

shoulda posted a picture of a possum then the asshole yankees wouldnt be having organisms over beaver jokes i meen damm even ricky is smarter than that and hes a dumass

Anonymous said...

This really is one of the best written and most consistently hilarious blogs alive. Really inspired punditry. Thanks and Happy Holidays.

ant1 said...

Wishiwasmerckx - Regarding your outrageous accusation from yesterday's comments, here is my alibi: I attended a christmas party at my parent's house in the burbs. I left their place for my apartment around midnight to get a decent night's sleep before having to return to the burbs at 8am for a group ride. Got home around 12:30 and went straight to bed. Woke up at 7:00, got my shit together, and left for the ride.
Airtight!
Well, except for the part between 12:30 and 7:00 since I was by myself. Maybe I did beat that dude up. I have been known to sleep walk. But I never drink and somnambulate, that would be unsafe.

Anonymous said...

Enjoy the holidays Snob and thanks for keeping us amused in 2008.
WW posse.

leroy said...

I walked the Brooklyn Bridge yesterday morning and Pavel is right. It was mostly ice.

If there was any salt out there, it came from the Norwegian tourists picnicking on Lutefisk along the benches between the arches.

On a related note, it's heart-warming to see that BSNYC has gotten a jump on the Festivus holiday celebration with the traditional Airing of Grievances.

But in that regard, every day is like Festivus on the BSNYC blog.

RTMS -- Happy Holidays and good luck with the Feats of Strength this evening!

MustacheGenius said...

My hibernation sarcophagus is made of gopher wood with a tastefully "beavered" finish

JPB said...

RTMS - Without your blog, I would never have known about beaver chewed wood candleholders. Thank you!

FWIW, the virtual tour would be better in Smell-O-Vision.

Happy whatever!

Pavel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pavel said...

Sorry Leroy, I meant the Manhattan bridge. I'm still confused as to why the Queensborough bridge was totally cleaned by the city (as it should be), but not the other bridges.

Paul Francis and Jana Bree said...

This woody was at the PDX airport on display with the local talent. At least you can compost some of it when yer done...
http://www.renovobikes.com/

jza said...

"New Yorkers have weathered financial crises, terrorist attacks, blackouts, poor performances by their professional sports teams, and draconian trans fat laws."

All but the terrorist attacks seem to be self inflicted. I bet Sabathia hits 400#s by the time spring training rolls around, despite the trans-fat ban.

Pulverized Concepts said...

I got to get a job.

Cognorant said...

I think I might be scared of anything that's been "beaver chewed"!

Daddo said...

anyone i got to admit, i'm terrified to ride on this shit...
..anyone feel that good about it?

wishiwasmerckx said...

MustacheGenius, how ironic. My hibernation sarcophagus is lined with beaver, and has tasteful gopherwood accents.

ant1 said...

To all of you comment here, have a wonderful holiday season and a great new year's. It's been fun wasting time with you this year. I'm now headed back to the homeland (france), and won't be back in time to be here for Snobby's return. If someone wants to get me a christmas present, throw in a little ant1st! comment for me while I'm gone.

Snobby - Thanks for a year of the best entertainment on the internet. Workdays are not the same without you. Enjoy your hibernation.

mattoidbunko said...

Ironic Holidays Snob.

Wishing that you find yourself better than nothing this holiday season.

Ride on.

Caaah said...

Mmmm. That was a satisfying one, snobby. Like some hot chocolate with ironic store-bought "hand made" marshmallows.
And applause to you for braving the bridges! I made it to Greenpoint on Sunday, but that was enough ice biking for me to feel like a bad-ass.

Enjoy your holiday!

bikesgonewild said...

...there is a conspiracy theory that implies that 'the amish did not actually fly to the moon & back in a wooden spaceship'...

...purportedly, footage was shot in a barn "raised in one day", (like that alone is believable), in the pennsylvania countryside on an old 'daguerreotype' camera & the sepia toned fotos were hand colored & then spliced into an action sequence, showing a allegedly fake 'take off & landing'...

...i've personally seen the hand sewn "amish quilt" spacesuits & the steam powered wooden rocketship & find it hard to believe there could be doubters...

...just sayin', oh my brethren ...

frilly said...

Snobby, H squared.

Antoine, a bientot, cheri.

bikesgonewild said...

...ant1st...

...just thought i'd give you yer gift while you were here to enjoy it...

Dave said...

It appears as though the Pistadex has taken a serious beating in St. Louis:
http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/968052852.html

grog said...

A woody and a beaver in the same post. Enjoy your holiday!

Sprocketboy said...

The Amish got their wooden spaceship to the moon already? This will disappoint Craig Calfee, who was using Chinese technology to build a bamboo one.

Happy holidays, everyone! And for Festivus devotees: much stiffness to your aluminum pole!

ant1 said...

Thanks for the gift bgw.

And Frilly, that picture is god's gift to men everywhere.

I hope Santa spoils you both.

Lucky 7 said...

Snob, et al.,

Thanks for a great year of attitude adjustments and cycling clarity.

Yeah, I've known Snob and all those commenters for a year and a half and they've all been riding a long time and are great guys and gals for whatever it's worth...


A

Disgruntled Ed. said...

Beaver gnawed, not beaver chewed.

According to Oxford:

chew:

• verb: bite and work (food) in the mouth to make it easier to swallow.


And if you play the "just a messenger defence" I'm going to press for a verdict of guilt by association.

leroy said...

Do Not Open Until Festivus:

ant1st!!!

Gnarles Darwin said...

Happy Festivus Snobby!

bikesgonewild said...

...sprocketboy...i know craig calfee a little (he's down in the santa cruz) area & he's cool w/ the amish thing...

...while craig is in fact using bamboo for his moon rocket, mr calfee's method of propulsion is psychokinetic teleportation...

...a few bugs to work out but, hey, 'it ain't easy being green'...

dmitri fofonov said...

We have czars, you have Kennedys, is all same i suppose.

JPB said...

BGW - Calfee is in Santa Cruz, huh?! That is not surprising at all!

Only town in the country where the nuts roll uphill!

KanyonKris said...

BikeSnob - thanks for all the amusement this year.

I'm upgrading to a Lite-Speed titanium Festivus pole this year. You never know when you'll need to fend off a pickup during the Feats of Strength.

Anonymous said...

but you CAN rock brake levers on woodbars!!

http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/2008/dec/3/KenCarroll.htm

Anonymous said...

The Amish would never go to the moon, it must have been a bunch of Mendonite's. I wonder how many horses it took. I found a pic of the aftermath of re-entry

sharpE said...

Check out what the most famous Mennonite cyclist has been up to lately.

bikesgonewild said...

...jpb...

...i'm hoping that yer joke about santa cruz (which i'd laugh & agree w/) doesn't include mr calfee himself as craig is highly intelligent, highly articulate & an extremely personable human being...

...beyond building early 'tour de france' winning carbon fiber framesets for greg lemond, craig also pioneered the use of 'boron' fibers to strengthen & stiffen carbon applications...(you know...laterally stiff, vertically compliant)...

...the use of bamboo as a frame material started as a 'fun project' a dozen years ago & has evolved into not only a high end bike application but, calfeedesign.com/ has worked w/ columbia university's earth institute' to promote the idea of building bamboo cargobikes in africa using the naturally growing & highly prolific plant...

...there is also a wry sense of humor, intentional or not, at work here...'calfee design' is based in la selva in santa cruz county...
...la selva is spanish for "the jungle"...

...so...a little history, just sayin'...

Bluenoser said...

Snobie,

The Boston Whaler Decal (BWD) has been unrolled, ironed flat, and then rolled up for shipping.

Just let me know who the winner is.

Happy Holidays.

-B

smovlov said...

There is the fixed gear apocalypse?

Andy Pandy said...

As Bill Murray said to the groundhog in Ground Hog Day “Don’t drive angry” or Don’t drink angry or Don’t ride angry. You get it and adapt it to wood devouring beaver . So signing out from the great land of OZ to settle into Xmas festivities and the second cricket test against those pesky south africans.

I am hoping for the Pinarello Prince babe to be in my stocking, bike and all. Can't wait to unwrap her

Anst 1st

leroy said...

Andy -- If you are hoping for the Pinarello Princess in your stocking, then all I can say is:

Angst 1st.

It just seems too high maintenance.

packfill said...

In Boulder, they clean the bike paths before the actual roads. NYC, huh? i guess, the posibilty of getting jacked must count for something....HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE

Andy Pandy said...

Leroy, I am prepared to go through the pain barrier and tame her for that bike

jhota said...

Jell-o pie kind of sounds like a winner. maybe made with piña colada flavour Jell-o, even.

bikesgonewild said...

...jhota...

...yer christmas wish has come true...
...'clif shot bloks' in pina coloda flavor...chewy & jell-o-ish as it gets...

go boo boo said...

Merry Christmas! That was awesome.

Anonymous said...

Know what I like about winter? All those trendy fixers are gone, gone, gone from my streets. Bunch o'weiners, they are. Happy Holidays, snob.

Kurt said...

RTMS, thanks for the '08 posts. Looking forward to '09.

bgw, nice reportage on the Calfee. Used a chunk of my divorce settlement to buy one, back in the day. Last bike I'll ever need and it rides the Santa Cruz mtns like buttah.

Frilly, thanks for rolling back the profile photo...and for speaking French. C'est trop mignone!

Bises,
Not Antoine or a dentist

Anonymous said...

Snobby, thanks for a great year, I don't know how you do it. btw Toronto has seen the two biggest bike stories of the year - Igor the alleged thief of 2,800 bikes, just rearrested while out on bail, and the alleged road raged cabbie on Dovercourt who backed into a cyclist, pinned him against a pole and severed a leg, both yet to get to trial. Happy Hannuka.

kanon said...

Hey snob I noticed you mentioned Marin; by that are you referring to the glorious county north of SF? If so, it's funny since I reside there, and you have the exact witty, sarcastic, ass hole-ish attitude every one here does. Love the blog and by the way I do ride a track bike (I hate the word fixie) as a regular road bike so I guess I'm open for any kind critisism you could you can throw at me. Happy Holidays.

Anonymous said...

Thanks to you, BSNYC, my New Year's resolution is to blog fixed--no delete ky.

Pack Phil said...

Have a good brake!

CANT STOP

Anonymous said...

re: Amish flew to the moon and back in a wooden spaceship...

thanks for letting the cat out of the bag you fucking jerk.

Anonymous said...

Here's the Toronto links:

http://www.thestar.com/article/556706

http://www.thestar.com/GTA/Crime/article/541912

Beavis said...

Huh! Huh-huh! Huh-huh!

Bike Porn!

Ooooohhhh....

http://www.nvocomponents.com/

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 7:53pm...

...yer admonishment, "thanks for letting the cat out of the bag you fucking jerk." could use a little colloquial work...

...please..."thou" would be much better suited...

...as witness "thanks for letting the cat out of the bag, thou fucking jerk."...


...better still would be to make it both formal & familiar as witness (did i say "witness", again...where does that keep coming from ???) "thanks for letting the cat out of the bag, thou fucking jerk, my dearest brethren"...

...just sayin'...

Mark said...

Chag Urim Sameach!

okto said...

I hope that carbon-fiber coffin of yours is held shut with titanium bolts. Titanium has been pseudoscientifically proven to be better than every other metal at every application.

Johnny Sprocket said...

Thanks for the fun this year. I look forward to more next year. Oh.. and I also look forward to many more podiums for me in 2009 !!

db said...

Don't drive angry!

Anonymous said...

Wood if for fixie wannabes. The real deal holyfield is papier mache.

Der Blaue Reiter said...

Wha! Nutty, dude. I don't even LIVE in this city and I just finished a post about the exact circumnavigation you descrbed of those two bridges! You were probably the surly-lookin' dude with a pierced eyebrow walking a slack-chained Fixie between ice patches! I knew it was you because of the derision with which you regarded my chrom bag/ recycled cycles woolie ensamble. Feast your eyes, snobby!

ani said...

best post ever!
more audio!
and more beavers!

leroy said...

Just a word of caution to all....

When BSNYC emerges from his carbon coffin on December 30, don't do anything to spook him.

If he sees his shadow and goes back inside, we get 10 more weeks of winter.

And one more thing....

Congratulations Lance Armstrong!

kyle said...

chicago bike cops have aerospokes too. so shameful.

Anonymous said...

cough cough.. jaydegrenade.com ...cough

in case you uh, need more fuel to keep the fire burning

Austin said...

One week?! Oh man...

I guess I'll just go whittle a flatbar to fill the hours...

Philip Williamson said...

Ant1... they don't have the internet in France? (Ant1st!)

bikesgonewild said...

...damn, leroy...10 more weeks of winter !!!...what a depressing & scary thought...

...here in nor-cal, that means a lotta big decisions...

..."should i take a jacket when i go for a ride ???...are bibshorts gonna be enough or do i need the damn knee warmers ???...full finger, regular or do i even need gloves today ???"...

...as you can see, punxsutawney bikesnob creates a lotta undue pressure...

PVT Benjamin said...

Holy shit, Snob. Are you aware of dashingtweeds.co.uk ?????
For the love of God, please give these idiot dandys´a public flogging as soon as humanly possible.

bikesgonewild said...

...& leroy again...

...i see what yer sayin'...

...juan pelota creates another little dna-er...props to the lance-ster & his chica...

Surly Bastard said...

Thanks for a great year of laughs Snob. Beautiful writing! I laughed. I cried. Well I cried 'cause I was laughing so fucking hard. I just don't know how you do it everyday. Now slip into your carbon coffin and rest up for the New Year! You deserve it!

The Impaler said...

Happy Christmas, Mr Snob.

From the frozen wilds of Winnipeg, where some of us ride year round and actually enjoy it.

UnkaDave said...

Snoborrific post, as always! I have greatly enjoyed the entries, the perusals of which have been snuck in between patients. I go to the next room with a grin!
Not sure how you keep coming up with this stuff - you sure there's not, like, a whole Team Snob, taking turns at the front?

JPB said...

BGW - Late response to your response

I was not being snide about Mr. Calfee, I was more so making a joke about the mainstream opinion of the use of organic materials to construct bike frames. I actually like the idea of bamboo as a building material and advocate it's use when I can get someone to listen, which is not often in the architecture scene. So called "Green" standards are becoming more prevalent these days, but most people do not take them seriously.

I was, on the other hand, making a crack about people who choose to live in Santa Cruz. Since I lived within spitting distance of the Mystery Spot for ten years, I include myself in that group.

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas bitches! Happy Channukah to you Snobby! You should be receiving my gift any day now. (Hint: think peyos and what you have been wanting to keep them extra curly!)

Benjamin said...

What a stupid pig, Aerospoke running fag, I'm head up to NY and harvest them jawns for my Trek.
Philly Luv,
BK

Surestick said...

The Bike Snob, in his haste to show the Reverse Mounted Brake Lever (RMBL), missed how significant it really is. It's obviously a rather subtle rejection of car culture (or Kar Kulture if you prefer).
What is one of the safety features that most modern cars have? Anti Lock Brakes. The RMBL is obviously the second incarnation of the Pro Lock Brake (the first incarnation is, of course, a stick in the spokes) as you apply the brake your weight transfers forward putting more pressure on the brake lever adding more brake force, etc. Imagine the spectacle of a panic stop! A keen eye will also notice the lack of top-tube pad (akin to an air bag). All this bike lacks is a cars-R-coffins sticker, though perhaps the owner wears the t-Shirt...

Kathleen @ ForgingAhead said...

Excellent musical selections!

I especially like the sugar plum fairy soundtrack for crossing the icy bike path.

Anonymous said...

Tha Canuckistani dollar is worth more than your US Imperialist pig dog dollar BSNYC. Don't worry though, you can be my Soigneur's Soigneur maybe after the US collapses and Canada takes over your country, eh?

Anonymous said...

Lance's latest offspring set to drop in June! I love it! First, dealing with a woman in the third trimester is difficult at best, then a newborn in the house might just throw off Lance's recovery a bit. I, personally, cannot wait to see a bleary-eyed, grumpy, irritable Lance get his ass handed to him by some young punk that had the brains to keep his Crankskins on (regardless of number of balls in his bottom bracket).

mono_vs_stereo said...

New Yorkers have weathered financial crises, terrorist attacks, blackouts, poor performances by their professional sports teams, and draconian trans fat laws.

I guess someone forgot "pure boredom" as a category.

This is the rare bit where the OC is more entertaining.

Sorry, BSNYC/ETC. Although that would be nice across your knuckles.

BSNY/CETC

wishiwasmerckx said...

The sad thing is that most of us will still come back here daily, if not more than once a day, even knowing that there will be no new posts til next week. We are, collectively, pitiful. Happiest of holidays to all my pitiful online friends.

Tex said...

Jeez, wiwm, ya gotta tell everybody?

merry christmas dude said...

Merry Christmas, dude..

stream of nothing said...

cheers to snob and his many comment(er)s.
a fine years worth of irony, wit and entertainment in an unstable world that lacks just those things.
HAPPY FESTIVUS
SAFE RIDING AND GOOD HEALTH TO ALL!

Anonymous said...

This BSNYC post finally made me realize something:

The whole 'New York' tough guy thing is a compete and total myth.

You guys whine when your bike path doesn't get shoveled by the city? You have --covered-- bicycle parking? You have 'city bicycle maps'? Wait.. you have bicycle parking?

Jesus christ, what a bunch of fucking whiners. I can't believe you people woudl last more than 5 minutes out in the frozen tundra of Kansas or Iowa.

I think I have found the reason people move to 'the city' and then give up and move back. It is not because they cant' hack it'... and it is noo because it is 'too tough'.

It is because they can't stand all the whiny, sniveling, complaining, dont-know how-good-they-have-it morons that seem to exemplify what it means to be 'New York'.

Anonymous said...

oh, and merry fuckign christmas!

now excuse me whiel i go polish my ford model-a...... and its wooden spoked wheels.

Anonymous said...

Sticks and coal, again.

But with some chestnuts, the paper, and a match or two, that could be quite nice.

I'm soon off to go over the river and through the woods to Granma's house on this fine bright and gusty Christmas Day.

Enjoy your holiday ride(s).

12 Days!

High Plains Drifters said...

it’s only 8:00, but here’s a toast to longer days, longer rides, and keeping an ear alert for talking dogs.

brett said...

happy holidays, snob. thanks for a great year of daily entertainment.

Courtney said...

Wood is the new bamboo for 2009 like bamboo was the new carbon fiber for 2008 and you'll find me on a plastic/bamboo/wood bike when fixed gear freestylers start using brakes and learn to ride a bike..

innerlight said...

NOBR EAKS!

Anonymous said...

Frilly blessed us, one and all.... I'm hoping for a whole erotic series in '09.

Anonymous said...

Hey Bike Snob
Your a genius. You have inspired me to market a wooden pie plate.
I figure that since the item does nothing, I can charge a premium. Thanks man.

Liz said...

Whats your email? I need to send you something.

red neckerson said...

there aint nothing better than a southern gal dont get worked up just because you see some yankees underwere

reminds me of a song but i aint up to singing it right now

Anonymous said...

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/bik/972045048.html

Ronald McDonald POS Fixie ($499)

Craig said...

May your creative blogging energies continue to flow. Thank you for a great year!

Niki said...

How the hell did he get the wooden bar in that quill stem anyway? Best reason not to buy them since Jaguars are all the rage!

Anonymous said...

Coincidentally (sic?) my brother just moved to NYC from Marin. Weird.

T. McKay Battles said...

pvt benjamin, what's wrong w/ tailored clothes? That company is not even related to cycling.

and wishiwasmerckx, you are so right. it's kind of pathetic. i got into the office this morning that there absolutely would not be a new bsnyc post, but immediately checked it anyways.

bikesgonewild said...

...jpb...even later response to yer response...no harm, no foul...

...re: dashing tweeds...actually, some of their outfits are totally "cycling related" & while they may not be everyone's 'cup of tea', i think on the right bike, in the right place, well, by jove old chap, they'd be rather smashing...

...ta ta...

Anonymous said...

1MOR POST

Fixed Gear PPV said...

Dashing Tweeds are quite cycling appropriate....if you ride a Dandy Horse

Anonymous said...

The word "snappy" comes to mind. Can't really imagine interacting with a gentlemen in a cape, no matter how fine his countenance or disposition, but then I live in Tulsa and there is not a big call for fashion dandies here. We're more of a Carhartt crowd.

CJ said...

Regarding: Actually, the only way he could really convince me that he truly believes wood is strong enough for cycling would be if he were prepared to put his money where his crotch is by using a wooden seatpost, I have done that!

Remember when alloy seatposts first evolved from the primordial steel seatpost? They were exactly the same except the saddle clip, which still was steel, scored into the softer metal so the top cracked and sooner or later snapped off.

This happened to a friend of mine when he fell off on an icy road one New Year in rural Derbyshire UK. He was okay, but his saddlbag hitting the ice was the final straw for a pre-weakened seatpost - or seatpin as we called them.

Fortunately I had a Swiss-Army knife with woodsaw attachment, with which I set about the adjacent hedge, selecting an ash sapling of slightly greater diameter and whittling it to fit.

Ash, as well as excellent burning wood, was the material of choice for such highly stressed components as the transmission shafts on horse-powered farm machinery, so I was giving this bodge my best shot.

And it sure was a hit with my friend: Mark Firth, a native of NYC as it happens, but at the time a postgrad student at Cambridge University. He was not only able to remount and ride his bike back to our base for that weekend, but also the hundred miles or so from Derbyshire to Cambrige!

He reported the wooden post gave a noticeably springy and far from unpleasantly cushioned ride. I believe he kept it as a souvenir and may even have it yet, but he moved back to the USA and I'm afraid we lost touch.

bikesgonewild said...

...fixed gear ppv...

...isn't a 'dandy horse' a sado-masochistic sexual devise that certain members of the british parliament enjoy being strapped onto before receiving the spankings they so richly deserve for their terribly naughty antics ???...

...or were you simply referring to baron von drais's 'propelling machine', which evolved into the bicycle ???...

...oh drat, i certainly hope i haven't tipped my hand here w/ too much esoteric erudition...

Anonymous said...

The fixed gear freestyler lifestyle is here in flat Sacramento Ca.

http://sacramento.craigslist.org/bik/973837735.html

Anonymous said...

Oops....

http://sacramento.craigslist.org/bik/973837735.html

Anonymous said...

damn

http://sacramento.craigslist.org/
bik/973837735.html

T. McKay Battles said...

i can't believe i'm on here again.

but, i spoke too soon about the lack of cycling relevance of dashing tweeds. but, regardless, bicycles and dressing well don't have to be mutually exclusive. as proven at thesartorialist.blogspot.com. although, when riding a bicycle in a full suit it does help to be italian.

I love the Apocalypse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I love the Apocalypse said...

Speaking of winter cycling, you should check this funny guide to keeping warm in the colder months...

http://zezaurian.blogspot.com/2008/12/zezaurian-guide-to-winter-cycling.html

(tiny penis, pig-eye and tears)

Samuel Critwick said...

it seems nyc got their bike lane plowing tips from chicago, which has been perpetrating similar assfuckery for years.

sarliaee said...

LOVE the wood handlebar,
i just have genuine concern being how to mount them if my stem only has one bolt?

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