Thursday, December 4, 2008

Lookin' Good: Holiday Cycling Fashions


(CBGB: from storied rock club to sportswear line)


Further to yesterday's post in which I mentioned the attack in Wisconsin, I did not realize when I went to press that the victim was actually the owner of a high-end bike shop:

This puts a whole new spin on the incident, and while I don't believe in telling strangers what to do, in this case O'Brien's advice to "Get a light" was probably warranted. First of all, as a respected figure in cycling who was even quoted in the New York Times just two weeks ago, I'd argue that O'Brien is entitled to give other riders pointers on the fly. After all, people pay him hundreds of dollars for bike fits, so the Fred on the Trek should have been grateful for the free advice. That's like bumping into a dentist on the subway who takes a quick look at your molar and saves you the time and money of making an appointment. Secondly, in these trying economic times, you really can't blame a shop owner for trying to drum up business. O'Brien's utterance of "Get a light" may not have been an admonition at all. Rather, he might be having a big sale at his shop, and he simply identified the one item the riders didn't have and as such might be most interested in buying. Had Fred and Wilma simply listened instead of flying into a rage, they might have heard the rest of the sentence: "Get a light--50% off this week only at Chronometro!"

(UPDATE: Assailant has been apprehended!)

Speaking of big, big savings, it's that time of year, and as such various periodicals are publishing their holiday gift guides. A reader informs me that USA Today, the Ryan Seacrest of newspapers, has even produced one for bike commuters. In addition to such items as a $70 Ralpha t-shirt and a $500 Castelli jacket, they also suggest a Rock Racing t-shirt:

A Rock Racing T-Shirt ($15 and up, shop.rockracing.com) shows the world that you back the iconoclastic bike racing team owned by Rock & Republic fashion mogul Michael Ball. 

Now that's a gift. In fact, I was so excited by it that you'll notice I tagged it with the BSNYC/RTMS Pleasantly Surprised Holiday Gift Lady, a distinction reserved for only the best presents:

And who wouldn't want to back fashion mogul Michael Ball and his iconoclastic bike racing team? After all, the King of Pants is as generous as he is iconoclastic--so much so that he's recently been granting "10-minute Q&A sessions with select publications," such as Bicycling and Pez. Actually, Pez managed to get 15 minutes, and the drama and excitement that surround a brush with Ball is palpable in the intro to the interview:

The BlackBerry alarm rings at 05.30 and the red light is flashing; I've got mail - it's from Rock Racing's Sean Weide. "I can get you 15 minutes with Michael Ball - as one of only five media representatives who will be interviewing him tomorrow. He can talk about Rudy, the 2009 roster, Tyler, etc." Wow! Let's see what Mr. Ball had to say.

I must admit that Ball's considerable savvy is clearly in evidence here. It's very hard to get noticed in the world of fashion, where Ball is overshadowed by vastly more successful and douchey characters like Marc Jacobs. So wisely, Ball bought his way into the much smaller and quieter world of domestic pro cycling, where people actually think he's a "mogul," where having a few Cadillacs seems impossibly lavish, and where he can be stingy with his time when dealing with the very media on whom his team's livelihood depends. (I'd like to see Ball try his "I can get you 15 minutes" tactic with Vogue or even Women's Wear Daily. "15 minutes with who?")

Which is not to say Ball doesn't deserve respect for sponsoring a cycling team, or for winning the Stars and Stripes jersey, or for employing some young riders. It would just be nice if it didn't all come with so much ego, hair product, and general smarm. But hey, if Ball needs to grease the wheels of cycling with his own unctuousness to make things happen, then so be it. (Plus, I already had my face time with Ball, when I got his autograph.)

At any rate, let's say you're looking to buy someone a t-shirt for the holidays but the person you're shopping for doesn't back the iconoclastic bike racing team owned by Rock & Republic fashion mogul Michael Ball. Well, in that case, you can always get them a BILF t-shirt on eBay, which I was alerted to by a reader:


"Bicycle I'd Like to F**K American Apparel T-Shirt. Colors: Black, Red, Blue, Olive Sizes: MENS: small, medium, and large WOMENS: small, medium let us know what size(s) you want via email. thanks. "

There's certainly no question this t-shirt warrants a carefully-placed BSNYC/RTMS Pleasantly Surprised Holiday Gift Lady:

Personally, I think it's strange to want to have sex with a bicycle. If it's simply a question of wanting to have sex with things that are thin and cold, you can always go trolling for models in the nightclubs of LA with Michael Ball instead. But I suppose I'm in the minority when it comes to my aversion to velophilia, because the demand for BILF t-shirts is so high that another company is making them as well:

You'd have to be a real pervert to wear this one, though, since it means you're sexually attracted to left-hand chainring bikes on which the chain inexplicably passes through the rear triangle and drives a right-hand cog. Also, the bike either has front and rear pie plates or extremely high-flange hubs. The only "sensible" thing here is the bar height, which is level with the saddle and which Grant Petersen would doubtless find highly titillating.

By the way, the same company will also sell you plenty of other extremely witty and irreverent shirts, such as: the "10 Reasons Why My Bike Is Better Than My Girl" shirt; the "Team MILF/Director Sportif" shirt (which I may order for Michael Ball); and of course the hysterically funny "I'm With Wheelsucker" shirt:


See that? It has a picture of two cyclists on it, with an arrow pointing to the wheelsucker. The people at Velotees don't miss a beat.

But there's more to cycling gifts than t-shirts and Rapha stuff--even if it's 30 days of Rapha, which would cost you approximately $96,000 and is kind of like going on a Dom Perignon bender. This Ralpha jacket alone goes for $750:



That's a lot to pay for a garment which is just a pretentious version of the Michael Jackson "Beat It" jacket:

You don't have to be a fashion mogul to see that they copied it right down to the shoulder panels.

Yes, Rapha may be the first name in ultra-luxury cycling apparel, but Cadence is right on their heels. Cadence's winter collection is nothing short of remarkable, in that it takes garments that are impractical for cycling and adds little flourishes which are supposed to make them functional but instead just make them complicated. Take this scarf:


I don't understand the scarf as a cycling garment, mainly because they flap around in the wind. There are also other ways to keep your neck and chest warm on the bike that don't make your head feel like an egg in a loose nest of billowy fabric. I suppose Cadence are attempting to ameliorate the flap factor by putting a little slot in it so you can cinch it, but in doing so they seem to have also limited the ways in which you can wear the scarf and maximize its effectiveness. In any case, ineffectual scarfs are an essential component of the "hipster" wardrobe, so I suppose this sort of thing is inevitable.

How do you make an item that's not particularly good at keeping you warm a little bit warmer? You add a superfluous dickey type thing. That way your American Spirit-ravaged larynx will stay slightly warmer than your chest. Brilliant, and perfect for when the mercury dips below 65 degrees. (Brrr!)  I wonder if it's compatible with the scarf? I don't see any slots.



My favorite garment by far though is the arm warmer with thumby slot. (This winter it's all about the slot.) I like it so much I gave it a BSNYC/RTMS Pleasantly Surprised Holiday Gift Lady. The advantage of this design is that it keeps the top of your hand warm while leaving your fingers exposed to the elements and making it inconvenient to wear gloves--perfect for maintaining knuckle tattoo visibility on slightly chilly days. The only thing that would make this better would be if Cadence also sold little individual wool finger cots so you could warm your digits on those rare occasions when knuckle tattoo visibility isn't essential.

Actually, like Rapha, Cadence also seem to be mining 80s pop culture, because I could imagine Madonna wearing some of this stuff during the "Like A Virgin" era. (I think the arm warmer would look great with lots of those black rubber bracelets.) And as you can see from this photo, forwarded to me by a reader, she is a serious roadie:


Expect to see visors (hopefully with slots) in Cadence's Spring collection.

141 comments:

jelliot said...

Si POJIUM!

Anonymous said...

JV Sideburns

PODIUM!

ant1 said...

ant1st!

ryanfromdeland said...

podium!
yabai orlando!

Daddo said...

3rdium!

ant1 said...

Podium two days in a row. Go me.

genersal lsmenedd said...

wisco

nick said...

bike rage

Anonymous said...

WOOT! WOOT!

Critical Ass said...

I'm waiting for the GLBT version of the BILF shirt (with a geared bike)

Anonymous said...

NO WE'RE NEVER GONNA SURVIVE, UNLESS, WE GET A LITTLE PODIUM

damnit, i failed.

genersal lsmenedd said...

its all about the slot.

Bill said...

i'm going to start calling people with the enticing offer of 5 minutes with.....

not sure who with, maybe i'll just make up names, or use the popular nickname in flander, vbd

bikesgonewild said...

...the trouble w/ the great "unlighted" is that they tend to ride as if they are visible rather than riding defensively...

...it's a selfish fucking practice because if they do accidentally get hit, the driver not only has to live w/ it for the rest of their lives but there will also probably be a bunch of self righteous morons who'll raise a stink in the name of the stupid selfish unlite rider...

...if you wanna achieve a "darwin award" w/ your miserable life, try to do it w/out involving others...

Anonymous said...

Suprised there were no links to that british bike fucker guy.

When manitou and klein lost their luster, and giant seattubes became a relic, I thought my bike fucking days were over. Thank god for 1.5" headtubes!

And phil woog grease.

g said...

Is that a porn-star-mustache-mullet- sporting matthew mcconaughey with Madge?!!
Bitchin!

Jim said...

iconoclastic bike racing team

Iconoclastic? Is that latin for "unembarassed to be caught employing dopers"?

And anon 2:07 - I hope I'm not being rude to ask, but isn't 1.5" a little bit short for a velophile?

Daddo said...

seems we'd rather want CILFs...

the "c" standogn for cyclists

bk jimmy said...

I tried to straighten the frame on yesterday's bendy wheelchair-wheel bike by running it through the Korrectorizer.

Here's the result--not at all what I expected!

vcmc said...

holiday gift lady looks uncannily like my mom.

Mark said...

Missed the podium due to a bowel movement.

It should be BILF, it should be WOBIWTR - Woman on Bike I Want to Ride. Nice panties, though!

The Scarf said...

Go ahead... just put it in my slot.

Anonymous said...

Man, I hope this Dustin Delavy Douche gets ready to start frequenting eBay and online retailers. I can't believe that there'll be too many shops itching to do more than drop a couple bearings in his frame/fork/stem/bars that they so graciously removed from his hubs/bb. I personally would go back to wrenching on bikes in Madtown just for the opportunity to assist in that project.
As for the supposed cycling clothiers, it's easy enough to, just as you do for dips not using lights, ignore them. The nature of the marketplace has a way of spitting useless companies out like so many seeds from a watermelon.

Anonymous said...

I never thought I would see the day,
a typing scarf.

MJ said...

Even if you see a bike you'd like to f**k, you probably shouldn't: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1569272/Man-who-had-sex-with-bicycle-sentenced.html

kale said...

This should go in the BSNYC version of the SWPL book.

Just figure out how to add hyperlinks to a book and you're golden.

Anonymous said...

if the ball-ster really cared, he'd make the keirin cut.

John said...

PHIL WOOG

couldn't resist

grog said...

SLOT SNOT

Anonymous said...

I'm amazed no one trying to figure out who snob is has latched onto this http://bp3.blogger.com/_wb8bAl1P-N0/SFXfFXq_p9I/AAAAAAAACdE/Ugc1Z41kMO0/s1600-h/mj+hat.jpg
notice the "Lance" in the autograph?

libertyonbikes! said...

i'll give USA TODAY a oint for the SHOWERS PASS gear and a KNOG, but right after that... EARBUDS. Seriously???? Every time I see someone riding with their ipod i just wanna kick them over (speed up that natural selection). Riding next to them is like dancing with someone having a seizure. Let's encourage that.....

Anonymous said...

anon 2:39,
You might want to read the rest of the post before you open the little clue envelope.

libertyonbikes! said...

so BSNYC is Lance Armstrong?
then is that picture of Lance in the BSNYC shirt not ironic, it's just self promotion?
INTERESTING.....

libertyonbikes! said...

i actually don't want to know please. they took santa claus away from me. let me have my imaginary SNOB. i almost didn't want to listen to the podcast interview on rocbike, for fear of some crappy jersey/LI accent destined to be repeating in my head as some narrator as i read the daily post...... but i'm ok, i think.

joe said...

i dont know why you don't like the thumb holes. those seemed like a decent idea.
if i was given them, i'd run/rock/sport them.

mary poppins said...

only a 7 time tour de france champian could beat a car, bsnyc is going on a snobatical in july then!
Dustin Dunlavy = triathlete?

wishiwasmerckx said...

G: Matthwe McConaughey? I thought it was Jimmy Buffett.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I know that I, for one, will sleep better tonight knowing that Dustin Dunlavy is now behind bars.

stuggy said...

Hey, Frilly!

My friend did the Philly Lance Armstrong ride last year, and as I recall, he said it was hella tough. Like, instead of riding the reasonable hills in the area, they went and found the toughest hills of the area. For the whole ride.

If you want a place to crash, I think my house is a lot closer to the start than that guy in NY who offered yesterday.

I bet my friend will do the ride again. When he's done harassing me to do it with him, I'll suggest that I run SAG for the both of you... Gawd I'm a slacker rider anymore...

Anonymous said...

Mary Poppins,
Close!
Dustin Delavy = Douche who assaulted shop owner. I can't say if he's any thing more noteable then that. Google let me down. i do hope he makes a presence at some local races though. The nice thing about tri races is the spread in between riders will likely preclude the innocent from getting tangled up with him when branches somehow miraculously appear in between his spokes.

bikesgonewild said...

...somewhere in the cosmos, hilly kristal is pointing a gun at john varvatos & saying "get out a' my club, you poseur fuck !!!"...

...the only "fashion" to come out of there was a black t-shirt that said cbgb's - omfug...

Russ said...

I was in the local Marshall's the other day and saw some Rock & Republic stuff. For a bike team owner, well, he's still a terrible designer.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Joe,

Fair question. To me, the thumb slots just seemed pointless since they don't keep your hands warm and I'd think the fabric would just get in the way when putting on gloves. Plus, it seems like the fabric on your palm would weear out pretty quickly from your handlebars. (Unlike a glove palm, which is usually reinforced.) The only advantage I could see was that maybe it would keep them from pushing up your arms if you pulled something on over them (like the hoodie with the dickey). But you usually don't wear armwarmers under something else, since the whole point of them is you can pull them on and off while you ride.

Of course, it's entirely possible--and likely--I'm missing something, but that's just how they struck me.

--BSNYC

samh said...

The BILF t-shirt for sale on eBay is being sold by someone with ZERO feedback so use caution.

Dustbin Dunlavy said...

I thought he said "get a life".

Justin said...

Is that Brian Eno wearing the Ralpha jacket?

AH said...

Armwarmers with thumb holes = answer to a question never asked.

Cuz ANYONE who's EVER worn armwarmers knows that they don't pull UP at the wrist. If anything they creep DOWN off your biceps.

Dumbasses.

Anonymous said...

madonna used to be a roadie! that makes her do-able in my book!

Luck E. said...

Maybe BILF means "Bike I'd Like to FIX"?

As you pointed out, the second had a left-hand drive with a right-hand rear cog set and a triangle-traversing chain. Totally unridable.

The first bike (the one above the panties) is some kinda Frankenstein too.

Those bikes need to be fixed. They are already fucked.


A

Anonymous said...

Hey! that Rapha jacket is just as essential as the castelli body suit you wear on your $5000 orbea for your saturday morning 6 mile ride at waterfront park before loading it onto your new subaru and heading down to river city bikes to bilk free coffee

Commiecanuk said...

Anyone sporting a BILF shirt has obviously given up on real sex. All I can ask is, exactly which Pedro's lube is appropriate?

Arm warmers are the new Uggs of 08-90, checkout Shemar Moore in Bicycling.He's got it goin' on, different colored arm warmers with triathlete jersey, allowing critical respiration from the shoulders, and the bikesta pose. Awesome.

J.D. Hollerson said...

Dickeys the preferred wear for c-class cyclocrossers everywhere.

Commiecanuk said...

Rapha is pushing the envelope of twatism on bikes, just when they stopped offering their $220 cycling journal (made with real paper), they hit us back with the $750 ($1000 in CDN) tweed jacket, because when we think performance, the first word that pops into our heads is "tweed".

Rapha's trademark contrast armband has been created from the same Prince of Wales check as the main jacket but has an off-set position. It is embroidered with a tonal grey Rapha logo. A left-shoulder pad is made from Alcantara®, a soft, luxury synthetic which has the look and feel of suede. Highly abrasion and stain resistant, the pad uses Rapha’s standard off-set seam to avoid bag straps chafing and also protects the wool outer from piling.

That's right, the cycling jacket is derived from the Prince of Wales' hunting jacket, because in order to invoke the ultimate twatism, one must involve British Royalty.
(7 internal pockets, three hidden, to discretely store hemophilia medication)

Commiecanuk said...

AH: I resent the implication that cyclists have biceps.

Coach said...

Madonna on a DeRosa with Campy...ahhhh, yeah!

Ashley said...

Reading today's post makes me think (in a somewhat horrified, but appreciative way) of Rev. Phil's 'Bike Porn' films which you can read about here:
http://bikeporntour.blogspot.com/

out here in crazy PDX, OR.

Anonymous said...

commiecanuk...you are a twat. if you actually rode a bike instead of a trike you might know that arm warmers are essential when the temp drops below 65F

bikesgonewild said...

...i'm sorry (well, maybe i'm not) but armwarmers w/ a sleeveless jersey on a guy is as gay as it gets...
...& i don't mean to insult gay folks but they'd probably agree w/ me...

...now, on chicks it's kinda hot...

Anonymous said...

to be a serious cyclist you need bike shorts, bike jerseys, leg warmers, knee warmers, cycling vest, cycling jacket, full finger gloves, cycling socks, toe covers, shoe covers and the helmet is optional

Anonymous said...

oh yeah! arm warmers

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, sorry to quibble, but "Let's do the Fork in the Garbage Disposal" is as gay as it gets. Don't Yes to death.

Anonymous said...

Anon 4:23, what is your position on lights?

bk jimmy said...

Speaking of CBGB shirts...


http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/04/arts/music/04cbgb.html?_r=1&hp

BSLA said...

You forgot the incredible girl's DZ Nuts Official Applicatortee shirt.

BikeSnobNYC said...

BSLA,

Thanks, that's pretty funny.

--BSNYC

PS: BikeSnobLA?!?

PPS: Is that you or Justin Timberlake in the profile pic?

Commiecanuk said...

anon 4:18,

I often wear arm warmers (with silicone grips on my 'biceps'). Who said I didn't? No, I don't wear them with sleeveless jerseys, for obvious reasons.

I may be a twat, but at least I have grade school reading comprehension under my belt.

BikeSnobNYC said...

BK Jimmy,

Karen Kristal was often taken in by my cunning fake IDs at the CBGB Hardcore Matinees (16 and over).

--RTMS

Commiecanuk said...

Anonymous 4:23 said...
to be a serious cyclist you need bike shorts, bike jerseys, leg warmers, knee warmers, cycling vest, cycling jacket, full finger gloves, cycling socks, toe covers, shoe covers and the helmet is optional


You should yell this out to other riders. Telling us your helmet was optional is redundant.

Bill said...

that's gotta be timberlake, i'm just freaked out now that bikesnob is a chain! (no pun intended, really)

claire said...

We in Wisco are relieved that the real bike crime capitol is NYC. Case in point.

Johnny Sprocket said...

Madison sounds like the bike crime capital of the US.

http://www.madison.com/tct/news/police/317129

genersal lsmenedd said...

wisco

Anonymous said...

Lance apparently thinks your funny.

http://twitter.com/lancearmstrong

Strayhorn said...

The famous Commiecanuck said: I may be a twat, but at least I have grade school reading comprehension under my belt.

Dude, your peener can read?

Now I'm srsly impressed with the Canadian educational system.

Andy Pandy said...

All these pussy wussies winning podium on the flat stages. I will wait to the climbing stages and top up with EPO/CEFA till it leaks out of my eyeballs and blow you will suckers into oblivion, lost in my vapour trail of performance enhancing chemicals. Thumb slots are just dinky die for wiping running noses, rather than those troglodytes who aren’t sufficiently house broken and employ the farmers blow ( please translate to the local name for this)

Any member of the British royalty who wants to suck the toes of his horse face lover is all right in my book… just sayin

Scott said...

to be a serious cyclist you need bike shorts, bike jerseys, leg warmers, knee warmers, cycling vest, cycling jacket, full finger gloves, cycling socks, toe covers, shoe covers and the helmet is optional

You are gonna look really stupid walking down the road dressed like this.

Anonymous said...

this is fuckin sad. oh yeah eatme

Fair question. To me, the thumb slots just seemed pointless since they don't keep your hands warm and I'd think the fabric would just get in the way when putting on gloves. Plus, it seems like the fabric on your palm would weear out pretty quickly from your handlebars. (Unlike a glove palm, which is usually reinforced.) The only advantage I could see was that maybe it would keep them from pushing up your arms if you pulled something on over them (like the hoodie with the dickey). But you usually don't wear armwarmers under something else, since the whole point of them is you can pull them on and off while you ride.

Of course, it's entirely possible--and likely--I'm missing something, but that's just how they struck me.

--BSNYC

red neckerson said...

i aint trying to be hostile or nothing but on the basis of these comments id beat the living shit out any of you that was stoopid enuff to wander into my town

arguing about reading dicks and holes aw damm

Anonymous said...

hey bikesnob!

how about some bicycle porn. it's nsfw!

http://www.girlsofdesire.org/?inc=1&gal_id=11459&count=1

Scott said...

She just can not figure out how to ride that bike.

Pierre said...

http://www.velotees.com/proddetail.php?prod=Tandem

That's surely some sort of horrible bike-related fisting propaganda.

*shudder*

: P

Wipeout said...

that was a nasty link and I think we can do better.

Plestic Beg said...

BSNYC 2008 3:04 PM

Correct about the armwarmers with thumbholes. I got some Ibex ones (heavily discounted and since discontinued) and I learned soon to just roll up the thumbhole part above my wrist.

Yes, they wore out at the palm and were a pain-in-the-ass with gloves.

Hey, they were cheap and still work fine with that tiny bit of lycra with the wool.

Oh...

CRONOMETRO - no "H" and it's even spelled like that in the graphic.

It's a high-end shop, hence a Euro-spelling.

Just who was Madonna's riding partner/trainer/bodyguard?

Anonymous said...

So, I'm thinking there had to me more to that bike light rage incident in Madison. Here's one likely senario:

Colin: Get a light!
Dustin: What did you say?
Colin: Get a light. They're cheap enough. And while you're at it, upgrade that Trek to a nice Cervelo at Cronometro.
Dustin: Sounds cool. I'll stop in for a test ride.
Colin: Well, you'll have to have a $xxx.xx fitting first, but then, yeah, you can test ride one.
Dustin: What? You're head's not screwed on straight. Here, let me help you out.

Plestic Beg said...

No lighting mentioned on that winter/rain riding list of bike crap for gifting?

What idiots! Lighting can be even more expensive than Rapha clothing.

frilly said...

AP, save some of that stuff for me. According to Stuggy, sounds like I might be needing a boost. And just when I was all set to resume my Snickers diet for the winter. Sheesh.

frilly said...

Stuggy thats really nice of you on both counts.

Thanks!

Andy Pandy said...

Will send it over stashed in a bike light. Primo quality. Don't sweat the century, just find someone a little slower than yourself and wheel suck like crazy and once you are nearly home, blaze past him/her, say thanks and go through the line with both hands in the air. Works in all of my club rides. Am wondering why there have not been any volunteers for masseuse duties to assist in your recovery

Madame Torelli said...

Yesssssss...

Andy Pandy said...

Hey Frills have you seen the latest photo in BikeRadar of your boy AC and LA. AC looks like all he wants is a hug and LA is all tensed in the arm looking for some arm wrestling action . And they maintain that there is no rivalry. Scroll down the pictures and there is even one of Cadel practicing wheel sucking with LA

dmitri fofonov said...

БИЛФ

As with most English, is more frigid in Cyrillic letters.

Anonymous said...

madonna's got a sweet de rosa there.

Anonymous said...

http://www.madonnalicious.com/images/1987/cycle1.jpg
http://www.madonnalicious.com/images/1988/cycle_shorts1.jpg
http://www.madonnalicious.com/images/1988/cycle_cap1.jpg
http://www.madonnalicious.com/images/1990/cycle_blue1.jpg
hey snobbie!!! why don't you hook up with madonna...she is just divorced and might be in your neck of the woods. Go for it DUDE!!!!

Ronsonic said...

Doesn't Wisconsin have a mandatory light law like civilized parts of the world? Didn't Dustin "the Douche" Dunlavy admit to a cop he rode around lightless.

I pretty well predicted there'd be plenty of tips on this one. Glad to see it got cleared well and quickly.

sharpE said...

GETA LITE

HEAD LOCK

HAND CUFF

NUFF SAID

Anonymous said...

Speaking for myself, I've seen enough of "the slot," Madonna, and Madonna's slot.

Russ said...

Bike I'd Like to Fofonov?

Wipeout said...

Madonna is hella haggard.

Critical Ass said...

***madonna's got a sweet de rosa there.***

Her DeRosa's seen better days...you know it's been around the block a few times.

Susan said...

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Susan

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Anonymous said...

hahaha!!! I wouldn't be suprised if commiecanuk (commiecock is more like it) has to ride an old schwinn varsity because that is the only frame strong enough to support his lard ass.

frilly said...

AP, nice strategy--will try to incorporate my arms up pose into the training plan. I saw those pictures on Velo News. Hafta admit Lance is looking cut these days. That's not Cadel, he wishes. Its Popo. I think there's some kind of rule that they aren't officially transferred until the beginning of the year. Then he'll be sporting the Astana blue. Right on!

spambot said...

That's terrible news, Susan.

The good news is, I just saved a bundle on my car insurance!1!!!1ZOMG

Andy Pandy said...

Frills I knew that was not CE as it would have had a scowl on his face,and a high likelihood of crashing into invisible spanish rider in front of him and a piece of paper glued to bars to help him reherse his excuses

Anonymous said...

RE: Spambot

Firefox just prevented this site from opening 3 popup windows.

Anonymous said...

Everyone knows those "thumbholes" on the armwarms are not for your hands at all. You loop those over the thumbs on your shoulders so the arm warmers don't creep down. Basic lizardman 101 anatomy people, c'mon.

Anonymous said...

You may think she's a spambot, but I know better.

Jason B said...

Nice!

streepo said...

Prize Twat!

Wade said...

I really hope that when my hair grays that I look as rugged and heroicly introspective as that Rapha model.

As for the bike shop owner who was beaten, I don't think it's worth it to engage someone in that manner. No one really wants or is open to such a lesson. Did he think that they were going to ride to the next bike shop and purchase proper lighting? I guess though as a marketing scheme it's no more depraved than any other. But, no one should underestimate any stranger's capacity to commit an act violence of a magnitude much greater than the catalyst. And when I shout out something like that it's more about asserting my morality than it is with the hope that I'm actually going to change someone's behavior. Luckily, I've only been attacked once, for shouting at someone at least. Never though have I been caught between a group of angry teens and a falafel stand. Purchase a bell and ring out your rage reservedly!! Seeth with passive aggression.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Wade, falafel stands everywhere take exception to your implication.

Wade said...

how about between angry teens and a budget boudin noir shack.

Commiecanuk said...

Stray, ...true education in men must encompass the big and little heads.
Otherwise, we'd be surfing Cervelo porn all day and the world economy would collapse into the toilet.

anonymous 11:25 said...

I'm a big boy. I'm turning 11 next week.

AH said...

Anon 3:20am (really, on a school night!?!?!)--

That makes *so* much more sense, cos the moment I typed "armwarmers slide down your biceps" I just *knew* I'd get castigated for my obvious lack of knowledge re. roadie anatomy (thanks commiecanuck).

I was looking at the armwarmers upside down, apparently. They're *shoulder* loops. Thanks again for your help.

Eric said...

Lance thinks your groovy...
http://twitter.com/lancearmstrong

Nice work bikesnobnyc.

Anonymous said...

Of course Lance likes Snob:

BikeSnobNYC = Lance Armstrong

Bill said...

i don't think lance is biking over manhattan bridge or around park slope many days a week

leroy said...

I'm sure that was Lance who dropped me on the Manhattan Bridge.

Now I don't feel so bad.

Commiecanuk said...

AH...Roadie anatomy is why you will never see a cycling/arm wrestling biathlon event.

Martin Van Nostrand said...

Oh sure, that's Lance Armstrong really writing that twitter.

"Had lunch with Dr. Ferrari...damned CERA suppositories are painful.."

Bill said...

damn, that endorsement is going to make reaching the podium more difficult than ever. time for me to call Dr. Ferrari, que cera cera, as they say

Bill said...

damn, that endorsement is going to make reaching the podium more difficult than ever. time for me to call Dr. Ferrari, que cera cera, as they say

kale said...

Lance's endorsement may do for BSNYC what BSNYC did for The OC.

Commiecanuk said...

and what the OC did for batshit crazy people.

Anonymous said...

More good reading at Madison Times:

Fat border collie survives being frozen to sidewalk.

It's getting cold. I'm going to eat a lot of donuts.

db said...

Oh, there's even more from Madison:

http://www.madison.com/tct/news/police/317129

Etoro said...

That really is him updating the twitter updates and second, there's a nice pic of Lance from riding North on River Road (NJ) taken by his Photographer Liz Kreutz:
http://www.elizabethkreutz.com/main.php

Scrooge said...

Why don't you fashion hounds just ride your freaking bikes! Be the part, don't dress the part. Isn't this why there is an economic crisis? People want to buy the image instead of earning the image. I want to hurl and clean up the mess with some poseurs Rapha silk scarf and put in their new Bonk Bag.

Scrooge said...

oops...put it in their new Bonk Bag

We The P-Far said...

For P-Far Patriots!

Phil Byron said...

I'm not sure if anyone else remembers these BBC news reports about a scotsman:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7098116.stm

cheers

Phil Byron said...

that should be

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/
scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

and

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/
scotland/glasgow_and_west/7098116.stm

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Tara said...

ahhh looky there so long ago my BILF shirt was posted here! well if its not too late,,, we now have a website with new goodies such as bar wrap and lock holders, please feel free to snob away on those! thanks- Tara
www.chickendeathcat.com

Apparel Bathing Suits said...

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