Friday, December 19, 2008

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

We may be on the tinsel-festooned cusp of the holiday season (as well as all the depression and misanthropy it entails), but lest you find yourself tempted to embark on some kind of Zabriskie-esque nog-fueled bender I've prepared a quiz in the hopes that sobriety and knowledge will prevail. As always, read the question, swish it around in your mind like you're savoring a fine nog, and click on your answer. If you're right, you'll see either the item or some other kind of affirmation. If you're wrong, you'll see some guy in pajamas running over a bicycle helmet with a pickup truck.

See you next week, and ride safe.


--BSNYC/RTMS



1) What are "Bar Mitts?"

--A new way to keep your hands warm while cycling

2) This is the "hippest fixie in town." Which town?

--Raleigh, NC
--Oakland, CA
--Austin, TX
--Portland, OR



3) P-fars are to wine as:

--Fixed-gears are to canned domestic beer
--Cyclocross bikes are to Belgian beer
--Tri bikes are to POM juice
--All of the above




4) According to Core77, these pant cuff retainers are cool
:

--True
--False




5) Which football (soccer) star is rocking/running a kickstand?

--Ronaldo
--Rolando
--Rondalo
--Mandala





6) According to the Power Cranks website, their product can help improve erectile function.

--True
--False



7) Step 1 in the Wired tutorial on how to stop a fixed-gear bicycle with no "breaks" is to "Find a Safe Place to Practice." As part of Step 1, the article warns, "Remember that it is next to impossible to 'anticipate' an emergency stop." So what is Step 2?

--Wear a Helmet
--Choose Your Braking Method
--Mount a Brake
--Anticipate Your Stops



8) "Hipster Cysts" are sooo 2008. For '09 it's all about:

--Duct tape-mounted Maglites
--Handlebar-mounted Menorahs
--Oil-burning lanterns
--Night vision goggles



***Special P-Far Bonus Question***

Why is this p-far rider spreading his legs?

--He's p-far freestyling
--He's p-far cyclocrossing and he just did a flying remount
--He overcooked the turn
--He's making the "leg V," a typical salute among members of Jules Verne's fan club in the 19th century

108 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dropped 1st!!!

Vino said...

loser

Mark said...

Podium HO!

Anonymous said...

YES!

Zabriskie said...

in yo face

belgian.skinsuitslamz@yahoo.com said...

Podium, baby!

This goes out to all you brake-hatas:

YES it’s a Friday, and I’m gonna make it my day
MC Ice is back, he gonna burn you like a fried egg
poach you on the road like a commuter in a kermesse
on the bike, mic or computer my palmar├Ęs are the best

What? You think you Sean Kelly?
You must be trippin, cuz – you couldn’t even be a stagiare for Jelly Belly
Wearin earrings like Ricco? Hell, you might as well be Nelly
(‘cept that fool would never be caught watchin Versus on the telly)

One thing is clear, like crystal -
and that’s the fact that I rhyme hotta than a $2 pistol
Try to bring it and I’ll drop you like Rittsel
leave you gaspin for air as you caught out in the mistral…

http://www.2skinsuitsandamicrophone.com/

Review This said...

So fucking nice outside! God damn.. I wanna ride my Kona all up and down through the snow.. But Organic Chemistry has other plans for me.. Enjoy it twofold, who those luckier than I!

Ralphy said...

Top 10, baby (not just on this site, I mean in general).

Surly Bastard said...

Top Ten? I'm not even reading them anymore, okay. I'm just here for the glory!

sturmeyarcher said...

those hand warmers are known to the kayaking world as "pogies." i my kayaking ones on my bmx like 8 years ago. wait, should i be bragging about that?

Anonymous said...

Belgian 2 skinsuits dropping da rhymes!

Jules said...

/\

fred said...

belgian.skinsuitslamz@yahoo.com said

white guy from the suburbs wantin to be a gansta.

Pulverized Concepts said...

where is everybody? maybe they're out riding their bikes for a change.

Surly Bastard said...

To hell with 'cross. That P-far racing is IT!

Anonymous said...

So was Ronaldo rocking that kickstand when he picked up those two -ahem- gentlemen of the evening last month? Inquiring minds and all that.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for representing the Carolina's Snob!! Yee-haaw!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Surly Bastard, P-Far cyclocross would REALLY be all that, wouldn't it?

penny said...

good stripper name

sturmeyarcher said...

sorry, that should have read: "i used my kayaking ones..." looks like i have the proofreading habits of that Sunken fellow...

broomie said...

I thought finals were over!

I bombed the test but it was still fun. The Pfar race actually looked fun and not pretentious, yay!

Mark said...

Can't wait for some colorful commentary from Red Neckerson!

There's snow in them thar hills! Riding the trails will be fun tomorrow morning.

ant1 said...

Tard1st!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Out in public in your pajamas? Check.
Driving a pickup truck?
Check.
Smashing shit up just for the hell of it?
Check.
There you have the Carolinas reduced to their very essence. All that is missing is the old-time ceramic jug filled with moonshine.

Lucky 7 said...

In the event of an emergency stop, lean TOWARD the eminent danger to skid stop your way across the membrane.


A

worm irks said...

I rock turkey baster pogies every Christmas. Get moist mofo.

Brian said...

So was that Red Neckerson navigating the pickup truck?

Anonymous said...

TOP THIRTY!!!!!

bk jimmy said...

Perfect score, second time in a row! All those 5 a.m. training quizzes in Prospect Park are finally paying off.

Ant1: You can take the Access-A-Ride!

Daddo said...

where can i get me that parfam t-shirt the 'jama guy was wearing?

Mutt said...

I wanna see Red Neckerson and that guy with the Partridge family pajamas in a P-farthing race, with or without helmets. But I want Red to win.

bk jimmy said...

wishiwasmerckx,

I had a roommate from the Carolinas (North, I think). When he was a little kid he lit some firecrackers out back... and burned down all the woods! Yee ha!

Toxteth said...

Per Wired: "Abandoned parking lots and indoor cycling tracks are some of the best locations [to practice skid stops]"

I'm sure everyone at the veledromes will be thrilled to have several fixters skidding all over the track

Amy Dietz said...

I am so fortunate to have flunked the quiz and seen the video. Incredibly, the helmet was crushed, whereas genuine tupperware survives similar testing. I had no idea I was providing my LEFTOVERS with more protection than I was providing my HEAD!

ant1 said...

bk - the real question is, can I drive one?

Anonymous said...

amazing! that guy with the oil burning bike light is...well he is not the sharpest tool in the shed. If the temperature is so low that those bar mitts are appealing to you then you might want to invest in a training stand

Commiecanuk said...

This was only cool when "the Fall" did it:

Well in North Carolina, way back in the hills
Me and my old pappy had a hand in a still
We brewed white lightnin' 'til the sun went down
Then he'd fill him a jug and he'd pass it around
Mighty, mighty pleasin, pappy's corn squeezin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

Chorus:
Well the "G" men, "T" men, revenuers, too
Searchin' for the place where he made his brew
They were looking, tryin to book him,
But my pappy kept a-cookin'
Whshhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

--- Instrumental ---

Well I asked my old pappy why he called his brew
White lightnin' 'stead of mountain dew
I took a little sip and right away I knew
As my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue

Wearing only pyjamas, lamentin' the Obamas..got in the pickup named Red and ran over a head...
Shhhoooh . . . white lightnin'

liz said...

http://james.nerdiphythesoul.com/bennyhillifier/

works perfectly for fixed gear tricks!

Anonymous said...

exactly!!! that lean angle faggot fixters use is why I refuse to interact with the retards. Lean towards the danger making sure your arms are behind your head so your head can absorb the impact and protect body

Commiecanuk said...

My favorite YewToob comment on that vid:

if the guy actually got his head ran over he could have survived. the truck wouldnt have applied the same ammount of pressure at high speed.

Fisuks is grate.

M U G A T U said...

Liz, that is a great internet tool. Who says innovation is lost in America? We're going to be OK.

"M U G A T U Racing, here to stay, not like those other Assholes.™"

red neckerson said...

there must be 30 million yankee democrats and yor telling me that the best you can do is give us another gad damm kennedy? you fellers like to call us rednecks dumm abut shit what a bunch of fucking morons you folks is

i jest had to gets that off my chest it was ether this or beat up ricky again

Critical Ass said...

New challenge for Prolly & crew:

Brakeless skid stops with Power Cranks. Now, who wants to go first?

BikeSnobNYC said...

My favorite thing about the helmet masher is that, instead of placing the helmet near the wheel, he puts it in the middle of the truck and keeps having to inch forward, reposition, inch forward again, etc.

At least he had the sense to dress comfortably.

--BSNYC

creepo said...

http://james.nerdiphythesoul.com/bennyhillifier/?id=IcH5mY568uY

leroy said...

Hey, that's my helmet!

I knew it!

All that stuff about the dog sitting on it was BS.

Hmmmmph.

Some Friday. First a blizzard, then a pop-quiz and now I learn that Opinionated Cyclist's first cousin/brother-in-law flattened my helmet.

And don't think I don't know that all that stuff in yesterday's post about "esteemed commenter Leroy" is just a fancy way of trying to let me down easy when I don't win the lounging smock.

Oh well, just one more grievance to air at this year's Festivus celebration.

Feel free to share the rest of the series of photos even if I don't win.

I'm not upset. Really, I'm not.

It's an honor just to be considered. Really.

And I'm not crying.

It's just, it's just (sniffle)... I have something in both my eyes.

Excuse me. I have to go now.

Ride safe this weekend!

Anonymous said...

ronaldo's not just rocking a kickstand but an enormous pieplate to boot :-o

Anonymous said...

Red, you are unfair. Blues singer / governor Rod "Bigtax" Patterson has a tough choice to make between three superbly talented people. Among the 17 million inhabitants of New York, clearly the most qualified people to lead are Caroline Kennedy, Chelsea Clinton, or maybe Andrew Cuomo. They proved it by being born to parents who held elected office. I don't see any of you being that smart. Unless Jenna Bush is still trolling the board as Commie Canuck again.

Anonymous said...

I laughed my ass off!!!!!!!!!

bk jimmy said...

ant1 - they don't make any distinction between passengers and drivers on those things. It's more of a musical chairs scenario.

Jim said...

- I figured PowerCranks helped with erectile disfunction because a couple of the most enormous dicks I know ride with them.

- Oil burning lamps are just the ticket for night mountain bikers for whom crashing is not enough. With the new lamps and a touch of SuperTest, you too will be able to explode upon contact with the ground. This will make for great YouTube viewing. Though the smell of burnt meat on my local technical loop will probably be apalling.

- That is all. You may go now.

ant1 said...

bk - that explains a lot.

ant1 said...

Those power cranks help with ED by making sure that no one who sees you riding them will ever put in a position to need an erection. Speaking of erections, someone on CNN yesterday refered to Obama as "president erect". Priceless.

stuggy said...

Hey Snobby, if Red Neckerson had done that helmet vs. pickup test, he would have had the common decency to play us some real country music on the truck's stereo, instead of rap like that poser redneck from 'Carolina.

grog said...

Naturally a football player sports a kickstand, it's how he scores.

frilly said...

There's a hood I'll think I'll take a pass on.

stream of nothing said...

thanks snob.
another marvelous week.

Ben Minehart said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Bonus answer for p-far bonus question: "p-farting"

H said...

Power Cranks help erectile function?

Isn't that stretching the truth just a bit, literally?

Anonymous said...

The Instructables user's name: "alpacalypse."

Anonymous said...

Don't forget!!!

bikesgonewild said...

...chechlist for footballer ronaldo's saucy ride:---
...ultra large pie plate = $10.00...
...chain ring bash guard = $20.00...
...kickstand for a high end bike = $25.00...

...'winged mercury' pants clips to be worn w/ shorts just because he's 'ronaldo' & he can = priceless...

Russ said...

Wishing I had a 'cross bike right now.

Bill said...

because of the weather, russ? yes, i think my commuting streak is about to end.

dmitri fofonov said...

Vino,

I know Vino, Vino is droog of mine, you are not to be Vino.

Bill said...

and oddly enough, my 'commuting streak' actually involves streaking....as well as fenderless riding, so streaking on top of streaking

Surly Bastard said...

wishiwasmerckx

I'm still trying to remount after that first barrier ... not to mention all the time it took to stretch my Dugast Rhino over the front wheel of my new Ridley X-Night P-far.

db said...

Hell, why not?

P. Farting said...

Commuting steak? What about the chickens?

Bill said...

mmmm, steak

Shane said...

Hum, an oil burning lamp eh? They did the LED thing cause you know it's cool to use as little energy as possible but then everyone got on that bandwagon so now they're burning so much oil it's ironic. What's next? I'm thinking a road wetting system. That way you can always have a slippery place to skid.

leroy said...

db:

So that's a Benny Hill Climb.

I never would have guessed.

ant1 said...

Shane - how bout pissing your pants right before you need to stop?

Anonymous said...

outside in the nyc blizzard, i counted (in 10 minutes) 5 bike salmons, all with no brakes. hopefully some of these guys are organ doners.

Anonymous said...

http://thetruthhurts-sunken.blogspot.com/

smovlov said...

5 out of 9... i suck.

frilly said...

Ant--Just got off the phone with a fella from Augusta, he said 79 degrees today, 81 tomorrow.

Not fair!

Anonymous said...

you should know better than to link to a Wiki.

abelgus said...

Shit - missed the footballer one.

How we sposed to know that? It wasn't in the course material.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to make fun of a whole region, but it is quaint that a simple word like "truck" can be spoken as three syllables.

cyclotourist said...

magic

Shane said...

Ant- Don't be shy. You can make a Pista pun. I'm regretting leaving ATL right now. 70 degress... psh.

Anonymous said...

Why did you show us that retarded video? I had gone all day without some offense to my faith in humanity, and now here we go again...

Anonymous said...

is this site still here?

Your Spirit Guide said...

No I am afraid you are dreaming. Sorry.

Straight up lampin said...

No, this thing is totally here. Isn't it?

Adrian said...

Hello BikeSnob,
Just to let you know the mystery pennyfathing rider's name is Tim Lewellyn from the Dulwich Hill Bicycle Club in Sydney, Australia. He is being called in the Miss N' Out race. The winner of the race in the video is not Micheal Cowan but Huw Morgan also of the Dulwich Hill Bicycle Club. Penthyfathing racing is great fun. You should give it a go.

Anonymous said...

bar mitts??? get real! I guess people who are rabid cyclist feel the need to ride in freezing conditions but don't mind giving up control on the descent?. Yes, some cyclist are chicken shit and never use the drop position, but come on!...and who wears sunglasses outside their beanie cap? Bar mitts!!! Made by retards for retards!

mono_vs_stereo said...

Frilly-

It was 65 here yesterday. I got my ss 29er ready for what I thought was going to be a day's worth of great riding. Only I forgot that when it gets warm, the ground thaws out.

The first trail I hit, a really tight downhill run, was fine so I was pretty optimistic. Then I got to the next section that I normally ride and was practically wading. Should have taken the cross bike, a 12 pack of PBR, and tied a cowbell around my neck.

Wound up riding around two miles worth of hills, on the roads, on a 32x18 geared rigid ss 29er with 2.5" tires. Rather stupid.

Zabriskie said...

FIRST !!!

Anonymous said...

Any idea why there is a front mech on the power crank bike when there is only one chainring? Is that how it helps with E-D? It reminds me of an old post re:self-sabotage in order to avoid racing hard. Instead of running carbon wheels or stems, Hincapie could just try that and drop chains at will next Paris-Roubaix.

Anonymous said...

The helmet tester may be a fat, redneck but he's a Partridge Family fan ! I guess Mrs Partridge was a bit of a MILF.

Anonymous said...

Front mech maybe just to keep the chain from dropping if multiple cogs in the rear.

Maybe it's just to store it on the bike until the new chainring and bolts are purchased when the rider's mind is changed and they want another ring?

I dunno.

red neckerson said...

ss 29ers are the weapon of choice of rednecks cause you dont have to mess with lots of gears and shit

but if a fixie hipster evar wanders into viper ill kick the shit out of him

bikesgonewild said...

...red, red, red...dammit, man...
...what if some awesome cute, tatted-up, body pierced, belly exposed, tight jeaned, butt twitching, hot blooded little fixie chick showed up in viper w/ her 'whip' just looking to do a little rear wheel slidin' country style ???...

...you sayin' ya wouldn' share some 'shine sippin' n' slidin' just 'cuz she's an big city bike babe ???...

frilly said...

More cowbell baby!

Having trouble working up any sympathy, sorry. Its a balmy 7 degrees here today with a windchill of -10.

Asked Santa for a trainer and a pair of thick-ass running tights.

Uncle Bob said...

Racing crits on a p-far means never having to worry about pedal-strike!

ant1 said...

99...

ant1 said...

ant100th!

leroy said...

101st Dalmation.

Note to self: walk over Brooklyn Bridge. Leave the ice riding to Jill from Up in Alaska.

http://arcticglass.blogspot.com/

quij said...

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/bik/965156615.html


the hippest fixie moved to seattle... fucker

Anonymous said...

while the oil lamp will maybe be the new pista or converted schwinn varsity with flop and chop bars, the ebayed NJS frame of the lighting world will obviously be carbide.

Pic said...


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