Friday, December 12, 2008

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

First of all, I want to thank everyone who's sent in submissions for The Great BSNYC/RTMS Fyxomatosis Photo Parody Contest (presented by the Gourmet Cheese of the Month Club) so far.  The response has been overwhelming (and by "overwhelming" I mean perverse and occasionally nauseating) and I am looking forward to sharing some of them with you next week.

Secondly, in the spirit of reciprocity, I am punishing you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and then click on your answer.  If you're right you'll see either the item or confirmation that you were correct.  If you're wrong, you'll see what we'll all be wearing in the post-Apocalyptic future.

Have a great weekend, and ride safe.  See you Monday.


--BSNYC/RTMS



1) This video short film, "Perspective Line," (which goes great with the full-length version of Smash Mouth's "All Star," by the way) represents:

2) Why has the protagonist of "Perspective Line" dropped to his knees?
--He's praying fervently for a plot


3) These are NYC food delivery bikes:

--False



4) This video, "Fixie Life" by the Fixies, is significant because:

--The Fixies may be on PCP


5) What is this rider doing?



6) Why should this reader not worry so much?




7) According to Lance Armstrong's twitter, he was tested for performance-enhancing drugs yet again yesterday.  This means that, since officially announcing his comeback, Armstrong has been tested:




8) Rock Racing has just become:

96 comments:

Anonymous said...

no life

Jenn said...

FIRST!

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Jenn said...

dammit. so close

Anonymous said...

Have a great weekend!

leroy said...

No, Anon 1:55 PM, the date stamp is what folks in the personal security biz call "Proof of Life."

Anonymous said...

Podium? Either way, I'm a loser and so are you.

Mark said...

Top Ten!

ant1 said...

Aced the quiz for the first time. It pays to pay attention in class, I guess.

innerlight said...

Nearly!

Bill said...

that commercial is so good i kept intentionally getting them wrong. i swear that's why, really

red neckerson said...

kiss my texass

Anonymous said...

Those Rock Racing Girls look like they have adopted/stole the Garmin Ice Vests/ Jackets, but with the always hot Ball black touch. Maybe they are chilling down for their time trials.

And FYI - the helmet obsurces my awesome burns

JV Sideburns

Brendan said...

Poor Philip Glass.

smovlov said...

top twenty!

Jim said...

I thought a doping control was trying to cut back on it during work hours, y'know, like none during the day except maybe a chronic break over the lunch hour. People would talk about it and I was like, "yeah, damn straight doping control improves performance, but I totally understand why riders would want to use dope all the time."

Finding out that it's actually a place where if they find you with drugs you get in trouble puts a whole new spin on this professional cycling thing.

Anonymous said...

in the post apocolyptic future riding directly beside the beaten trail may save a life. someone out for a photo-op or highwayman in training? I'll leave that up to you.

Strayhorn said...

I did the worst I've ever done on a BSNYC Quiz. I'm crushed. I'd blame George Bush but he's not going to be around much longer.

Anyway, if the weather holds there's a half-century Sunday to atone for my lack of attention this week.

kale said...

I know I've seen the Snuggie before...

But where?

I don't want to critique the Bonneville bike thing, but the bff can do better. I can understand why he was going so slow, that rock was totes heavy, and with that leg extension you can only overextend your knees so many times on a sansbreakcycle before you can't skiddz so proper.

Fixie crew 4 lyfe!

erik k said...

Have a good weekend

Anonymous said...

TOP TWENTY!!!! YES!!!!!

Anonymous said...

top twenty two I guess

Jenn said...

i love the snuggie.
no joke almost bought a pair the first time i saw it on tv.
plus it comes with free booklight. no beating that.

Hugo Tocherkov-Lemmens said...

In my country we eat chocolates and wear the snugglie to can fofonov wile watching sport like Belgian footballs.

Lucky said...

All of the snuggie models looked like members of the same alien worship cult. Who wants punch?

I could see a snuggie forever getting caught in my pie plate.

innerlight said...

Those guys are going to see a really abrupt end to their "career" as soon as they run out of things that rhyme with "fixie".

God willing, that will be very soon.


meh.

Daddo said...

you didn't see it there, you saw it
here

Mark said...

The guy riding in the water is not really a mountain biker because a real mountain biker would see the edge of that trail and say: "perfect skinny!" and try to ride it. No, this guy is a roadie in disguise of a mountain biker.

kale said...

Mark-

Check out the other pics in the album from that. I hope to god that's freshwater.

Anonymous said...

That Fixie movie is hilarious. Its good to see that at least a few fixie hipsters can make fun of themselves. Self-depricating humor is a sign of maturity. But wait... Are they really hipsters? Or are they just making fun of hipsters like the rest of us? Maybe I've been fooled. I'm so naive!

Adrian said...

thirty second!

Jared said...

I keep thinking of the poor salt flat racer going hundreds of miles per hour as he hits the paranoid guys rock collection.

Anonymous said...

WOOGIE
WOOGIE
WOOGIE
WOOGIE
WOOGIE
WOOGIE

Bill said...

that damn zabriskie video from lance's twitter link was terrible. sorry, let me put that in twittr speak: "Following link to Z's vid...wow"

red neckerson said...

that snugllie com mercial gave me a good ideal if i buy one for billy bob joe bob jimmy bob and ricky i might of spent 300 smokes but if i gets them on tv i saves 240 big ones and i dont see how you cans beat that with a stick

Mark said...

Kale -

To quote Red Neckerson, "That there must be a You're Peeing Disc Brake testing"

Surly Bastard said...

I watched the "Film" all the way through. Not sure why. I guess i was hoping the guy would croak on the flats. I mean come on man, black man-prees, black chrome bag, and no water bottle riding on a big salt block?

Good question to start with but I think you may have been off the mark on why he fell to his knees.

Okay he wasn't looking for a plot line, but that rock wasn't a metaphor for his meaningless and directionless life either. If you had been watching the film closely you would have noticed that the rock had fallen out of his head during the ride and dropped serendipitiously (there's a lot of serendipity in bad film making) into the messenger bag and he was just making it comfortable in the sand before he put it back in his head and rode back to the crack motel. There was also some foreshadowing (lots of foreshadowing in bad films too) when we got a low angle shot of another rock that had fallen out of his head the last time he had ridden through the flats.

A better question about this film would have been: who did the director hire to put all the faux pubic hairs in the faux projector gate?

Lance Armstrong said...

check out stoner Dave:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uYBlBn004Q

Le Directeur said...

Not pubic hairs. C'est ironic mustache hairs.

leroy said...

I've said it before, but I'll say it again, you have got to market the hat that erik k produced.

I'd even volunteer to wheedle a five minute interview with Michael Ball to ask him to sign the brim for BSNYC.

Anonymous said...

THE ROCK WAS IN HIS BAG THE WHOLE TIME!

Slappy said...

Oh man, I'm pissed. I want the 5 minutes of me life back.

That shit was lame!

Toxteth said...

BSNCY - you are aware of this right?

http://www.utah.com/amusement/metaphor_tree.htm

hence the metaphore reference?

Toxteth said...

I mean NYC...

Toxteth said...

Karl Momens second Opus.

Anonymous said...

Zabriskie?

davidio said...

amazing - that short "film" lists THREE "writers" in the credits! Well done, folks!

Lucky 7 said...

If a fixie-ridin hipster falls in the middle of the salt flats, will there be any sound (of anyone giving a fuck)?


A

bikesgonewild said...

...i feel sorry for the rock...

kale said...

If it was a mountain bike, there would be a smaller, and completely different type of rock in the bag.

Then the title would be more appropriate.

Anonymous said...

BSNY I found this on Cozybeehive.com thought you would enjoy- Fixie rim failure
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ganring/sets/72157609868064447/

Anonymous said...

If it was a mountain bike, the rider would probably have sense enough to take some water along.

Those "special" effects were seriously over cooked.

I didn't have any trouble discerning the meaning of the "film." The whole fixie thing is pointless. Duh.

bikesgonewild said...

...the film is a metaphor depicting the obvious fact that some folks should never try to create metaphorical films...

...quite brilliant in it's depiction & ironic as all fuck...

Pants Yabby said...

Why did he walk the bike through the parking lot to the street after trading his bag of crack for the bike parts at the cheap motel instead of just riding it?

Anonymous said...

O. K., can somebody who understands the internets better than me please explain something? The post indicates that it was published at 8:42 a.m. The first comment is listed at 1:55 p.m. I assume that 1:55 is Eastern Standard Time. Does this mean that the server is somewhere 5 hours behind NYC time (Hawaii, perhaps)? Considering the number of idiots podium racing every day (me included on occassion) is it possible that the post was up for 7 minutes before the first comment? Is any part of the Federal bailout money giong to sync times on the internet?

grog said...

Enjoyed Philip Glass.
Did you notice the salt flat rider without helmet, chain guard, kickstand, hipster cyst, knuckle tattoo, etc.? Isn't there a movie rule about that?

SALT FLAT

ant1 said...

Anon 4:20 - Time has no effect on BSNYC. He resides in a separate, sometimes parallel, sometimes perpendicular, universe. Any attempt to label his actions using our earthly time system is doomed to fail. Like trying to explain the orbit of Mercury, it will require a massive shift in paradigm to begin to answer your question.

Bill said...

anon 420 - with a handle like that you gotta be good! but i digress. i know nothing about the series of tubes you refer to, but part of the 7 minutes could be accounted for by the fact that commentators are at least ostensibly (and using that big a word you know i am a fast reader) reading the post, and i know i got way caught up in the amazing blanket with sleeves ad...

Toxteth said...

Grog - it was clearly a Dogma 95 film. Therefore, no props allowed...

Frey said...

I just happened to be listening to some house when the salt flat video came on. Surprisingly, I think it fit rather well. www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKGvPlsGOwY

Anonymous said...

TIME WARP

fixed gear dude said...

lol @ 5

brainiac said...

every answer correct. every one of them.

Chris said...

Now you're going to have the druids pissed at you too. I heard they will give away a mummified cat head for your identity.

Critical Ass said...

Toxteth,

If that was a Dogme 95 film, I expect to at least see Werner Herzog drinking cough syrup out of a shoe or some shit

Ribs said...

I'll go ahead and say it: I didn't NOT like the film. I enjoyed the music and the scenery. As far as being a hipster goes, their "actor" clearly wasn't trying hard enough. No keffiyeh, no wayfarers.. I mean come on.

Anonymous said...

KEFF IYEH

Ronsonic said...

I am very upset about this violation of BSNYC Friday Quiz tradition.

Back in the old days, like last week and before, getting an answer wrong would give you a worse video than the right answer. Now you get "films" and "raps." Not only are they painful to watch, they make the people in that snuggie thing look attractive by comparison.

Michael Yabbie Pants said...

STOP MAKING FUN OF MY SK-- ASSOCIATES! AND MY TEAM! IF YOU THINK YOU WILL EVER TRICK ME INTO GIVING YOU ANOTHER AUTOGRAPH, YOUR WRONG!!

abelgus said...

FFFFFFF-ING-AYE

MY 1ST PERFECT SCORE

HOLEY SH*T

Uncle Bob said...

Being over 50, I tend to use the word "hip" only in medical contexts, but I feel that the "auteur" responsible for "Perspective Lines" needs a hip replacement himself. What could be more plastic than all the faux "scratchy film" artifacts he's added to what was no doubt shot on video? How bogus. The next thing you know advertising execs will be buying fixed-gear bikes and pretending to be urban rebels! Oh, wait a minute...

Anonymous said...

Hey.. I know this has nothing to do with bikes, but.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3VY_98jI1A

Tex said...

Gawd, that was bad! That has the ingredient missing in the salt flats "film." Thanks!

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 10:11pm...you sick, sick bastard...

...here my heart was dancing w/ joy...the two of them, toby & sheila, such passion, such beauty, such a wonderful pairing...
...& then...
...sheila gets stuffed...stuffed & degraded...

...this, sir, is nothing but senseless, disgusting & depraved pornography...

Anonymous said...

this is the funniest thing i have ever read in my life, OK its maybe the funniest thing i have ever read in my life. But no Cat's Cradle by Vonnegut was funnier. Oh well.

Critical Ass said...

A blanket with sleeves, how clever. Wait a minute, isn't that called.....a robe?

As for the chick on Ball's left arm -does Alice Cooper have any daughters?

Adam said...

Something tells me you can have fun with this:

http://vimeo.com/2489092

Anonymous said...

All you haters, suck my Bike Rack.

Anonymous said...

what a piece of shit!!! suppose I'm out there racing along in my landspeeder and then I hit a rock that shouldn't be there...find this turd and lock him up.

Anonymous said...

By the way, Jay Leno mentioned the snuggie during his monologue last night...I think he might have been turned on to yer blog.

Anonymous said...

here is a classic video
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=71d_1206497725&c=1

Adam (from Orlando) said...

Also, apparently people in Tampa also read your blog

Adam (from Orlando) said...

Oops forgot the url...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_jX8M1O62toM/SUQTjLa-oqI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/ox3a3tTfJ7Q/s1600-h/photo-720487.jpg

Some Guy on the Innernets said...

Fear not for the safety of Salt Flats racers. They are not a bunch of gearheads who go out to the salt and blast around, assuming there are no obstacles. Like any race course, it is carefully inspected and prepared before every event. The salt is getting thin, so the events are cancelled some years in order to keep from wrecking the course.

But there still should not be crack heads leaving rocks half a mile in from the highway.

Anonymous said...

86th!

I have now discovered the Fixie Kids. We are the Fixie Kids!!

kale said...

Sick fixie tricks dog!

Literally.

Anonymous said...

Not being one to hate on riders who doped, got busted and did their time (nobody's perfect) I imagined Michael Ball to be a free thinking, raconteur / entrepreneur who was not afraid to ruffle feathers while he gave riders like this another chance. I only questioned Ball's integrity because he used his business sense to get some of these downtrodden one-time stars on the cheap, choosing to put his money into his marketing. Then I came to like Ball for employing and promoting Rahsaan Bahati, perhaps the only outstanding African American Pro (let alone being one of the very few AA riders one sees in the sport!) It is an important problem in pro cycling that there are not more development programs supporting improved universality of inclusion and diversity in our sport.

Bahati isn't just any racer, his palmares are impressive at his young age. But his smooth pedaling style is second to none- he needs good coaching to bring out the power that is there! He is also a good ambassador speaking at schools about his experiences on the road to becoming a great Pro!

It wasn't Kaylee Leogrande's ban for doping that made me turn and dislike Michael Ball! It was reading how genuinely nice and cool Bahati was, as the winningmost guy on Rock Racing 2008, after just being cut from the team's A Roster by Ball!

Mr. Ball makes a big mistake to bring any press other than praise for Rahsaan Bahati! Not promoting him as a protected rider for 2009 is a crime! Standing on his fine racing record and accomplishments alone he should get a class A ride for 2009! But when you consider his contributions to the community it is very important. Coming from diverse Rogers Park in Barack Obama's Chicago, and being a parent of a black daughter I am ashamed that more people are not speaking out! Additionally, I believe that change needs to come from everyone in our community!

Ted

frilly said...

Ted, Y'know I think this is what happens when the team owner is also the main corporate sponsor. There's no one to say you shouldn't do that. Frankie Andreu tried, perhaps Cipo did also. We'll never know.

GenghisKhan said...

Ahhh, "Perspective Line"... Tho' I had absolutely nothing to do with it, it was filmed in my home state and I therefore feel I must apologize. I am sorry.

Anonymous said...

"But his smooth pedaling style is second to none"


Wow!

Team Atomic said...

Givin time to The Fixies? Are you $hittin' me?
I'm thinking BSNYC be the one on PCP
You get funky fresh props from my man Ic-y
but you dis' him for those fools, so now you gonna hafta deal wit B...

Anonymous said...

Hate to poop on this parade, but the Fixie Kids don't exist. It's a video from a pretty hilarious college improv/sketch comedy group called Birdstrike Theatre. Youtube it.

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