Monday, September 8, 2008

BSNYC Monday Fun Quiz!

I'm extremely fortunate in that readers often share wonderful bits of bike-related absurdity with me. In turn, I would like to share some of them with you. However, my munificence is always tinged with a bit of sadism, and since it is a Monday in September I am going to do so in the form of a quiz. As usual, study the question and choose your answer. If you're right, you'll know it. If you're wrong, you'll pay a visit to the Blue Oyster bar from "Police Academy."

Thanks, and good luck.

--BSNYC





Where can you find the World's Most Expensive Bianchi Pista?


--Tampa, FL

--Columbus, OH

--Austin, TX

--Phoenix, AZ


What is the maximum load for this Bontrager carbon fiber seatpost rack? (Hint: at full MSRP you're paying $22.73 per pound of hauling capacity.)

--7 lbs

--11 lbs

--15 lbs

--Less than the weight of the rack itself





According to the New York Times style section, bike messengers:


--are the best-dressed people in the service industry.

--are ditching the hoodie for the blazer.

--wear black stretch bodysuits underneath their clothes.

--are hot, hot, hot!






Where was this bike spotted?

--Bartertown

--Austin, TX

--Baton Rouge, LA

--Boston, MA



Which will not be a 2009 special edition Specialized Langster?

--Langster Berlin

--Langster Tokyo

--Langster Las Vegas

--Langster Monaco



Which is not an actual quote from a recent Chicago Tribune article in which a reporter bravely tries to ride a fixed-gear?

--"There were clips to lock my feet to the pedals—apparently one of the best ways to exercise control. But I placed my feet on the reverse side, fearing I would not be able to pull out of the clips in time if I ran into trouble."

--"For one brief moment, I felt that 'Zen' sensation fixed-gear riders always talk about. Then I fell down."

--"As soon as I pushed down on the left pedal, I realized this was radically different than riding a multiple-gear bike with brakes. At no moment were my legs still. As long as the wheels moved, the pedals moved."

--"Experienced riders had told me how they lift the back tire off the ground with their legs and bring it down in a hopping or skidding stop. But no way was I going to try that."



Fixed-gear cycling is all about simplicity.

--True

--False



SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: Who said, "The streets are the veins, and we're the blood. Without us, it would be 'The Day the Earth Stood Still.'"?

--Dogpaw

--Dogstar

--Snoop Dogg

--Cyclehawk Couriers

116 comments:

Anonymous said...

i still hate myself

Anonymous said...

(but a little bit less today)

mary poppins said...

morning!

Barkernews said...

shazaaaaam!

Loser.

Anonymous said...

5

streepo said...

Top 5! I hate myself as well.

Lucky 7 said...

Lucky 7!!

Erik said...

top ten! Better than I've ever placed in real life.

Anonymous said...

Top Tin

Anonymous said...

top ten

AH said...

Hey, I think that bike belongs to Kloven Hoof from CHUNK 666!

Enhancement Smoker said...

Top ten, or damn close!

Even if you bought all those parts at retail and built your own Pista, you'd spend less than the asking price for that monstrosity.

As a St.Pete/Tampa -area resident, I can safely say "late to the party, slim on commonsense" for that ijit. Good luck selling your Pista, dipshit. I think your skintight girlpants are cutting off the circulation to your "brain".

Enhancement Smoker said...

Or maybe not so close....fuck.

Anonymous said...

the horn bike was in cambridge, not boston.

Camp Cupboard said...

Wait, "no expense has been spared"?

...Except that it's a Pista?

masshole said...

the horn bike was in cambridge, not boston.

(sorry, forgot to sign my name last time)

Wipeout said...

all you self-haters can suck my balls

Anonymous said...

masshole: you didn't post anonymous 12:50, i did.

the bike is in cambridge, and i'm pretty sure it's on sidney street.

anonymous 12:50

ant1st said...

First!

Flack Blag said...

It's not my imagination, I've got a gun in my back.

Critical Ass said...

10 things I can carry on the Bontrager carbon seat post rack (but only one at a time):

1. My laptop without the battery
2. A toy poodle
3. Two SRAM Red road gruppos
4. A six pack of crappy domestic beer in the new lightweight aluminum bottles.
5. Five kilos of coke
6. 6 months worth of Performance Bike flyers that come in the mail
7. At least a gross of Knog Frogs
8. Enough vinyl LP's to DJ Rain City Fixed's next photo shoot.
9. A couple of the old traditional non-carbon seat post racks.
10. A 10-lb bag of cat litter and a toy mouse.

totalchaud said...

kalloy seatpost!!

leroy said...

Aaargghhh!! I only got two right.

I was Orbach'ed. No one would work with me.

That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

stoned/drunkmountainbikerstorytopper said...

Critical A -

Smells like ... GG ALLIN!!!

SD said...

Apparently skinheads are stylish these days. I can break out my stupid soccer scarf and MA-1 and be the coolest...

ant1st said...

you guys heard that LA is returning to road cycling?

http://www.velonews.com/article/82892/sources-lance-armstrong-coming-back

ant1st said...

I guess he couldn't resist trying out the 3rd generation EPO.

Mongo Pusher said...

Please Lance...Stay away! I've moved on to cleaner pastures.

Kale said...

When is Phil Wood going to come out with a high flange coaster brake hub that looks like a track setup.

Oh shit, I'm headed to the patent office right now...

masshole said...

anonymous 1:03pm: WTF? you didn't post anonymous 12:50, i did. I just forgot to sign my name.

i'm the one who told YOU the bike was in cambridge, and i'm pretty sure it's on pacific not sidney, but i'm not planning on tracking it's whereabouts any further.

not sure why someone who's 'anonymous' is trying to take credit for a pointless post, unless you're displaying some heretofore unimagined level of irony.

anonymous 12:50 O.G. / masshole

Jim said...

A fixed gear Sturmey-Archer three speed? What an out-of-date piece of crap.

I'm going to take an entire afternoon off from my thesis to ask questions about the nature of life, and to make my Campy Super Record into a 33 speed fixed gear. I'll pour Gorilla Glue into the hub and install a triple on the front of the bike, a late model Bianchi I'm either going to rescue from the garbage bin this afternoon, or liberate from a bike rack at work.

Sure, there are some chain skip issues, but it's nothing I can't cure with a little bit of R&D budget. I'm looking for investors. I figure in a world filled with $2700 Pistas, it's a can't miss.

And before the haters start in on me, I thought about putting a compact crank up front or locking up the freehub by just jamming a screwdriver into it until it wouldn't turn any more, but that'd be low class.

frilly said...

ant1st--Boggles the mind. I don't get that one at all.

areUpake? said...

anyone else get the feeling that masshole is arguing with his alternate personality?

... not that there is anything wrong with that

... just sayin'

Pack Phil said...

Google street view for 74 Sidney St. Cambridge, MA, shows you salmon! Need to move the view a bit so you're looking to the east.

knfuckyoukles said...

cock in your throat: diagnosing yourself

knfuckyoualles said...

dick in ass: diagnosis of you all

ant1st said...

Frilly - I'm not sure what you are referring to when you say "that one", but I will assume you're talking about my comment (let me know if I'm wrong). I think of lance as a doper, so I have to ask myself, why would he want to come back to racing? The only thing I can come up with (as far as jokes go) is that he must want to try out some of the new doping products all the cool kids are doing these days (Ricco).
Or maybe he's discovered some new way of doping that the authorities are not up on yet, and figures he can get another Tour or two before they start catching on.
I'm actually glad he's making a come back though, since he's the only thing that can save my beloved Tour de Georgia.

ant1st said...

Frilly - By the way, that picture of you will never get old. You should post more so that I can get a nice visual break between bullshit posts like my own.

anonymous 12:50 O.G. / masshole said...

j~sus, pack phil, you just saw my crazy and raised me some ... were you really looking for data to figure out which of my split-personalities to side with? love it!

uhomosexyoualls said...

we like seatpoles in buttholes :>

plum said...

In a white room
Isn't selling
Silver Pista

thewatcher said...

this is my favorite frill flickr pic.

prolly said...

as for the guy with the dew rag...

"I know him pretty well and he's a solid dude and has been anal probing frilly for a long, long time for whatever thats worth."

Commiecanuk said...

The day the earth stood still...
Gort! Klaatu barada nikto!

Only recently translated to "fuck this! earth hills are a total pain in the ass on fixed gear! I'm goin' back to Klaatu!"

nice angle on that pic Frilly, you can hardly see the winky.

bikesnobnyc said...

thewatcher,

You get me more hits than my awesome writing. I'm a fucking good writer.

-RTMS

AskReamer said...

I was recently asked by some of my 8th grade private school students if my bike is a fixie and they were very disappointed to find out that is not. Not 10 minutes later an escaped alpaca was seen strolling across campus.

SteveS said...

Lance is back!

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/26609987/

O.G. anonymous 12:50 O.G. / masshole said...

guys, guys, guys - please sign under your own names, and don't take credit for posts that aren't yours. especially pointless one, and especially if you choose to remain anonymous

I'm the real anonymous 12:50 O.G. / masshole, who posted at 12:50 and 12:59, but emphatically NOT (see how emphatic my capital letters make it? i mean business) 1:03 who claimed to be me, and not 2:10 who seems to be trying to discredit me, and (i wonder) is either aligned with the faux (NO. G.) anonymous 1:03 or is in fact anonymous 1:03 herself.

furthermore anonymous 12:50 NO. G. must be vain, if he really thinks pack phil's post was about him, don't you, don't you. about me, i mean. don't you, don't you.

O.G. anonymous 12:50 O.G. / masshole

officer dick said...

and then you were picked up on child molestation charges. they found your semen in one of your students mouths.

Admiral Crunch said...

The best part of the NY Times piece was this quote:

Nowhere was this more obvious than at the Duckie Brown show on Friday, where one of the designers, Steven Cox, said the idea “was to do a high-end collection for Nike, as if they had asked us to.”

So you sold out to Nike without them even asking you to? Wow, you are actually an embarrassment to the fashion industry.

Also, did we just get Boston rolled?

Anonymous said...

camp cupboard -

no expense spared... on tarting up an entry level track frame.

now it's supertarted!

masshole -

only people who listen to too much Car Talk or who live there are going to care about the Cambridge/Boston distinction.

jerk mehoff said...

will the real masshole please stand up?...and bend over.

Anonymous said...

plum: nice.

After scanning that NYTimes piece I was thinking I'd go out and intentionally ape a cycle courier, but I kinda worry I'd get arrested for intentionally aping people.

frilly said...

I don't know, it just seems like things are gonna get a little jacked up with LA, Levi, Contador, & Kloden in a lot of the same races. Look at whats happening at the Vuelta, Levi's trying to play it down when he should be thanking the cycling gods.

cc-ace bandages.

lookingforaprisonbitch said...

assreamer,

dont drop the soap. i hear dudes in prison dont take to kindly to 8th grade teachers who jizz in kids mouths. you may end up like this before it's over.

britney beers said...

hit me baby one more time!

ass bandages said...

we don't stick to well to the inside of your rectum.

kale said...

I think that the joke "masshole" was trying to make at anonymous 1:50's expense was missed by anon 1:50... and pretty much everyone else still posting.

It makes it that much funnier.

rectum?, they said...

it nearly killed him.

Anonymous said...

kale makes you shit.

kale said...

eating makes you shit

ant1st said...

I think Astana is going to drop out of the pro tour and put on their own races pitting Alberto, Levi, Lance, and Andreas against each other.

bikesnobnyc said...

Everyone,

This guy has hacked my page. It's over. Thank you all for your support of my fucking awesome writing about nothing for the past year or so. Take care.

-RTMS

areUpake? said...

snobby - maybe its about time you started screening the posts, as much as that would suck Trolls trying to distribute porn are worse. Just my opinion.

troll said...

no way!!!

mander said...

The SNob has been haxored? That sucks. Here's hoping you get this fixed right away.

bikesnobnyc said...

areustupid?,

Fuck your opinion. First amendment bitch-ass. Check out the phone tracing page I set up. Much better than the bikesnob blog I have been jumping the shark on for the past year. I'm sure you parents will love being able to check in on you...crybaby

-RTMS

acquiesce808 said...

BSNYC, please help me figure out what to make of this! i can't face it alone:

http://www.velonews.com/article/82892/sources-lance-armstrong-coming-back

thanks!

bikesnobnyc said...

acquiesce808,

YOU ARE IN IDIOT.

-RTMS

ant1st said...

Hey, fake BSNYC, you're missing the orange B next to your name.
Good move though, you may have earned yourself the ITOTM crown for September.

bikesnobnyc said...

anotherlast,

You win the TFIAFOTY award! congrats.

-RTMS

BikeSnobNYC said...

areUpake and Mander,

I've always had a policy of not policing the comments, and I'd like to keep it that way. It's kind of sad that someone would be compelled to post comments as me, but attention-seeking knows no bounds. I say all I have to say in my posts anyway. As much as I like to post in my own comments section occasionally, going forward you can probably assume any comments from "bikesnobnyc" are fake.

--BSNYC/RTMS

mander said...

good spot ant1st. These comment section trolls are kind of a buzzkill but what can ya do?

O ' Bama said...

you all sound bitter and are clinging to your fixed gear.
pathetic middle class denizens.

bikesnobnyc said...

areUpake and Mander,

I've always had a policy of not policing the comments, and I'd like to keep it that way. It's kind of sad that someone would be compelled to post comments as me, but attention-seeking knows no bounds. I say all I have to say in my posts anyway. As much as I like to post in my own comments section occasionally, going forward you can probably assume any comments from "bikesnobnyc" are fake.

--BSNYC/RTMS

bikesnobnyc said...

including this one!

--BSNYC/RTMS

mander said...

Fake bsnyc is a gay nerd

bikesnobnyc said...

...and by saying everything i need to say in my post i really mean im not saying anything. i don't say anything in my posts. this is just place for me to shine light up my ass. we are all glory hounds in this blog race of life. who has the fucking awesome writing skills though? I do. I am a fucking good writer.

--BSNYC/RTMS

Lucky 7 said...

Idiots rule.



A

Anonymous said...

fake bikesnobnyc for president...the first gay nerd idiot. women and blacks have no chance!

ant1st said...

fakesnob - does that stand for Total Fucking Idiot Asshole Fag Of The Year? I sure hope so, cause I've been traing for years to win that one.

ant1st said...

traing = training

new to the game said...

hey guys,

first time idiot, long time gay nerd. who here sucks dick? thanks aHEAD of time.

-TOFSDATM/RTMS/FLMAO

bikesnobnycyouinhell said...

anotherlast,

Totalfuckingidiotassfuckeroftheyear.

cograts,
TFBSNYC

done bloggin' said...

unbelievable... wars, poverty, immeasurable atrocities and general collapses of every form of society. now we have this dickhead to deal with.

hey hacker guy, why don't you do something constuctive with your "talent" and try to make this world better, instead of adding to the shitpile of waste that so many are already adding to.

done bloggin' said...

correction: constructive.

notorious FAG said...

fuck the world, dont ask me for shit.
everything you get you got to work hard for it.

just call me special said...

done blogging,

Thank you for your non shit-pile attitude towards positive change in a blog world gone bad. You will most certainly have a seat next to me in heaven.

Anonymous said...

"wars, poverty, immeasurable atrocities and general collapses of every form of society"

so really, what are you doing about these atrocites in williamsburg?

Jeff said...

way too many to read. if someone said it already: sorry.

the link on the horrible trib article is on the wrong answer. it should be linked on the first one.

thanks!

done bloggin' said...

williamsburg? where the fuck is williamsburg? do you think the internet only reaches this place? tool.

prolly said...

It's a fashion war. we dont have enough to pay for tight jeans and snapped surly frames. we cant walk down bedford without being reminded of immeasurable atrocities and general collapses of every form of society. it brings me down...

so we got this race on saturday...free pbr!

fuckers

leroy said...

I don't know much about these fancy computers or nothin', but it seems to me that fake Bike Snob registered as "bikesonbnyc".

The real bike snob is "BikeSnobNYC."

But, as the young people say, props on the mad hacking skilz.

We are all very impressed.

Now please go play in traffic.

Jay said...

After reading this blog for a few months, I don't think I ever want to ride a bike again.

Hipster said...

Damn, I got them all wrong. It's off to the BOC for me.

Anonymous said...

Hell hath no fury like a Mini owner scorned...

bikesgonewild said...

...this all begs the question "can the shark be considered to have been jumped, when in fact he's been pushed into & left lying in the gutter, wallowing in three inches of dirty, scummy, condom & cigarette infested spittle from the mouths of anonymous & anomalous little dick-ed, potty mouthed unimaginative trolls ???"...

...nah, i think not...

...bsnyc/rtms stands on his own witty yet corrosive but certainly not for a minute, corroding, pedestal & far greater minds than ours, have attested to that...

...well, yours, at least...

Anonymous said...

Holy shit. I haven't slept in weeks, and now I have to share credit for a stupid post with some masshole too? Hey masshole/suck my balls/tyler durden, when does this movie end?

You can have your stinking credit. Next time, remember to post in addition to remembering to sign in.

O.G. anonymous 12:50 O.G. / masshole / Carly Simon, pack phil is right on. He found a salmon AND the spot.


Anonymous 12:50

turd burglar said...

I'm gay - anyone want to boff me in the rear.

masshole said...

Anonymous 12:50 NO. G.: you are truly disturbed to continue to try and take (anonymous!) credit for a pointless post. you're like george costanza, trapped in an inconsequential lie but fighting it to the death. you're starting to frighten me. i think i might let you have my post after all.

- O.G. anonymous 12:50 O.G. / masshole

bikesgonewild said...

...whoops...i think an apology is needed here...

...i meant to say "...used condom & cigarette butt infested spittle..."...

...far be it from moi, to deny you the opportunity to gain perspective of yer own self worth, be it here or the rancid, pathetic little life you call yer own...

...gosh, now i hope i'm not being too harsh in my assessment...after all, we can only learn from ourselves & others...

...just sayin'...peace n' love...

Lord Batu said...

Wow i only missed two on this quiz. Best I've ever done. Didn't get the wankster question or the math question right.
Maybe there is hope for all the weak ass pussys pushing their fixed gears up hills...The 3 speed fixed gear hub!!! HooooRaaay! I can see dudes rocking these shits with their flip flops now...

ant1st said...

Method Man is not a notorious fag, 3:29

Anonymous said...

Bike Snob, I don't know if you've heard, but check this out: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/wire?section=cycling&id=3576159
Apparently Lance is making a comeback. What do you think?

Anonymous said...

it's a nice looking pista and that's probably what someone put into it but they should get that other people aren't going to pay so much

Anonymous said...

good to see tampa found its way into rediculousness

Anonymous said...

good to see tampa found its way into rediculousness

Doctor Eufemiano Fuentes said...

Senor L, please call me. I have ironed out the bugs and little problems that I had with Ricardo's batch and I guarantee, money back, that no one will ever test you positive

Gnarles Darwin said...

I have developed a paranoia that BSNYC is watching me everytime I hop on my fixie and do a track stand. Seriously, Snobby. Was that you on the bench in Prospect Park today. I felt judged in that BSNYC way.


I'm selling all my bikes and checking into a nut house.

cornhole said...

aw fuck

wishiwasmerckx said...

Sadly, it appears that our beloved comment section is what has jumped the shark, not the blog itself. Urbane wit has lost out to deranged imposters and navel-gazing posers. Today's comments were a chore to plow through.

bikesgonewild said...

...quite right, wishiwasmerckx...

...i think that as long as bsnyc/rtms has even one lone, spindly finger to type w/, that mind at it's munificence best, will most eloquently disseminate truths we all know, need to be shared...

bikesgonewild said...

...whoops, sidi in mouth...

..."munificent" would probably better express my thought...

tex said...

I have to agree with wisheshewasmerckx. It's bad enough to have to put up with a steady stream of Idiot Trolls of the Month, but when the Pathetic Garbage Quotient gets up where it got yesterday, I start to wonder why I keep reading the comments. Lots of blogs are better for the judicious use of the delete button practiced by their owners. I think of it as being just like cleaning out the refrigerator. Why let that stuff fester?

RedHeadForWorldDomination said...

Been a while, but I thought I'd get in here to talk about the SA 3-Speed Fixed Gear. SA's had this technology since the 50's, but it's mainly been sold in Britain. It was illegal to organize a mass start bike race in GB until relatively recently and fixed gears were popular for the time trials that were run on the island. SA brought the internal geared fixed hub to the market to take advantage of the desire to keep the fixed gear but have a variety of gears as well.

That being said, I'd certainly ride one of the new ones, but never without a brake. I'm also pretty stoked they're considering reintroducing them (oh, sorry, considering 'dropping' them again) since the originals are selling for $600+ for just the hub. How about that Sturmey Archer 3-Speed Fixed Dex?

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