Friday, September 26, 2008

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!


(Nonplussed Journalist Looking Straight at the Infinite and Beyond, by Erik K)

Although that Armstrong press conference was like two days ago now, I simply can't shake the feeling that I am still being watched by the Nonplussed Journalist.  Furthermore, I suspect that, in addition to being nonplussed, he may also be omniscient and/or omnipresent.   I'm not sure which publication he works for--it might be the Book of Life itself, or it may just be Cats and Kittens magazine.  But whatever it is, I only hope the Nonplussed Journalist is looking upon my endeavors favorably, and that he does not see fit to pan me, writ large, upon the very fabric of the Universe. 

In the meantime, with the weekend about to appear on the horizon, I'm leaving you with a quiz.  As always, consider the question, look deep into your soul, and choose your answer.  If you're right, you'll see that quite clearly.  If you're not, you'll see something I really don't think you want to see.

Thanks for reading, and ride safe this weekend.

--BSNYC/RTMS




1) What are these pants?

--The new Rock & Republic "Keirin Cut" jean

--The new Hincapie jean

--The new Mario Cipollini jean

--The new Gap "Fixed-Gear Freestyle Jean"



2) Some company has actually copied Old Ten Speed Gallery proprietor Cameron's PBR fixed-gear (above).

--True

--False


3) Who brought a big bowl of crazy to the Armstrong press conference in Vegas yesterday?


--Fat Cyclist

--Greg LeMond

--Betsy Andreu

--David Walsh


4) The non-concealable tattoo fad (including, of course, the knuckle tattoo) has been validated by which publication?

--The New York Times

--Vogue

--The Wall Street Journal

--Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung


5) Which gentrifying Brooklyn neighborhood is getting its own t-shirt from J. Crew, and what does the logo say?

--Bushwick ("The Trophy Tavern")

--Williamsburg ("Fratelli Auto Body")

--Greenpoint ("Fixed Greenpoint")

--Canarsie ("Where the Goys Are")



6) A lock is only as strong as its weakest part. What's the weakest part of this lock (spotted recently by a reader)?

--The curved "U" portion

--The keyed portion

--The bracket

--The owner's brain


7) According to a post on the Bicycling website, what may determine how much you ride?

--Whether or not you've upgraded to the new Madone

--The modulus of your frame's carbon fiber

--Finger length

--Fofonov frequency


***Special high-tech bonus question***


According to the "secret website," what is this seatpost made out of?

--Carbon

--Crabon

--Cabron

--Almunium

97 comments:

Lucky 7 said...

Zoooooooom!!!

A

fleshblocks said...

holy crap

p said...

shootoker

ant1 said...

ant1st!

leroy said...

What, it's Friday already?

Anonymous said...

All You Haters Can Suck My Balls

Cameron said...

Top 10 and I am Pissed.


My PBR Bike has been plagiarized!

Good thing is, mine is way better than that dreck they conjured up!

Anonymous said...

I love that guy...he is so scary Mr. Press conference guy...awesome.

Anonymous said...

Points!

bk jimmy said...

BSNYC's feverish media paranoia...

Anonymous said...

Look at me, taking up a podium spot.

A+ on the U lock. Nothing makes me laugh more then the horrible lock jobs that get posted on here.

figs mcnibbles said...

fish

Greg said...

Nonplussed Journalist looks like he has spent way too much time meditating on Morgan Freeman's mantra "All You Haters Suck My Balls"

Anonymous said...

I love Crabon...all the taste of Carbon but less filling. Nice.

Commiecanuk said...

Hincapie jeans..brilliant, they fall off you in tears the minute you walk on cobbles.

It was fantastic to see Gregger with his big knapsack of crazy at that press conference, while the rest of the room was wiping their chins after the uniball sermon, LeMental is still calling out Lance on his bullshit, even after mini-Phinney came to Lance's defense, 'cause mini-phinney ain't stupid, and knows exactly who pulls the big strings in cycling.

In related news, it seems that Lance has bought part of SRAM together with a $200M buyout from Lehman (yes, that Lehman), and will promote SRAM with Astoner at the tour. Apparently, when Lance said he was coming back for "awareness", it was the awareness that he needed mo' money.

leroy said...

A seatpost with the crabs already on it?

Honestly, what will they think of next.

Is it just me or does that PBR bike look like a ghost bike for victims of the fixed gear apocalypse?

kale said...

Bushwick don't know shit about gentrification, us Greenpointers and Williamsburgers (mmm... burger) got it on lock, son!

mikey said...

i was gonna ride, but my index fingers are too long :(

Anonymous said...

http://www.knog.com.au/Product.aspx?productId=186

Lucky 7 said...

Maybe that POS PBR bike is supposed to go with Charlie & Gladys' POS ride? Nothing ironic about that POS PBR BS, IMHO. WTF?

WOW, Friday...


A

Mark said...

In the cheap seats today!

kale said...

I would prefer to have my product placement bike to be even more unrelated, and crappier.

cadillacbikestore.com/

Critical Ass said...

I've always wanted a jersey that says big, heavy, slow, and unreliable

urchin said...

Hm. Looks like it's full of stars.


Big deal.



NJLSAIB

Slappy said...

Greg Lemond is funny.

Sumbiker said...

I've heard excessive fofonoving in unclean places will cause crabon's

So I've heard.

murphini said...

Facts:
1. We've never "heard" BSNYC's voice.
2. We've never really "seen" BSNYC. Pictures could be ruses.
3. Non-Plussed Journalist's skin color is a clue.
4. Terrance Trent D'Arby is Skinny
5. We haven't seen Terrance Trent D'Arby in a while
6. Terrance Trent D'Arby was able to write cleverly, at least once.
7. If I was Terrance Trent D'Arby, I'd want to be ANONYMOUS also....

ERGO:
BSNYC=Terrance Trent D'Arby

Boz said...

Lance to Greg-
"Suck My Ball, Hater"

Lucky 7 said...

Check yer notes murphini. BSNYC sounds like Woody Allen.


A

BikeSnobNYC said...

Lucky,

I talk like Woody but I sing like Terry.

--RTMS

Lucky 7 said...

Um, ah, yes well a, wishing well, ah, kiss and ah, kiss and tell, that is.


A

murphini said...

HA! BSNYC confirmed it himself. He's talking about his own alter-ego Terry, aka Terrance Trent D'Arby, aka BSNYC.

BikeSnobNYC said...
Lucky,
I talk like Woody but I sing like Terry.
--RTMS
September 26, 2008 2:05 PM

SO all you haters can S-M-B.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Kale, thanks for the tip. I am damn near tempted to buy a carbon-fiber Cadillac road bike just to evoke the disgust and distain of the Cervelo/Ridley/Serotta crowd. The Cadillac bike: $849.00. The look on their faces as if they just smelled somebody's fart? Priceless.

AH said...

Re. beer bikes: Don't forget the Raliegh Rainier single-speed cross bike!


Here

and

Here

frilly said...

Oh Snobby, I already have a mad crazy crush on you. If you sing like that *sigh*. Well, lets just say I'd send you a picture from the 'private' collection for a song.

But you'd have to wear the dreads too.

Anonymous said...

who doesn't love crabon fiber??

Matt said...

Isn't crabon just the British spelling, like fibre or aluminium or All You Hatres Suck My Balls?

Brendan said...

I knew the Hincapie jeans would be featured here within 24 hours of being posted. I noticed he has other products for sale as well. Jeez.

Maybe other pros will follow suit.. Chamois cream from the delicate fingers of Fofonov anyone? A jersey with extra hidden pockets for your wienerschnitzels and dope ala Ullrich? An Il Pirata coke spoon? Where does end?

wishiwerepithy said...

Exactly how did Cadillac up with this "European inspired road racing bicycle" anyway?

Do you have to go to Europe for that, or is o.k. to just think about Europe?

Or do you need to get a European to blow on something?

kale said...

wiwmerckx-

I hope you peeped the Cadillac Pieplate!!!

What more could you want with a crabon firbe bike. I wish it were'nt so expensive, then I'd rock it and the jersey all over Central Park. Now that's irony.

kale said...

I just also noticed that the blue one has a crank-based pieplate. I don't think I've ever seen one, if that's what it is.

Gerchof Sirdribeldik said...

Not is funny to obtain humor at Russian name. Angry citizens Armstrong balls of mine.

Anonymous said...

an SE Lager...$400

beer labels peeled off your normal beer...$0

a can of clearcoat...$5

getting a fixter dufus to pay you $1000 for it...priceless.

TJ Eckleburg said...

oh man i got nothing to say, can't even think of anything, guess i'm nonplussed, damn.

Spumoni said...

I think you're misusing the word "nonplussed". "Nonplussed" means confused or bewildered. Your journalist doesn't look confused to me. Many people incorrectly think that "nonplussed" means unflappable or calm, but in fact it's almost exactly the opposite.

Spumoni

Lucky 7 said...

To keep the acronym in tact, perhaps our journalist is "nonchalant", or seeming to be coolly unconcerned or indifferent?


A

Strayhorn said...

End of the week wrap-up and we find that Greg LeMond has Lost It and apparently Michael Chabon is now cranking out premium bike parts as fast as his novels. Fascinating.

Meanwhile, wishiwerepithy wanted to know: Or do you need to get a European to blow on something?

To quote an old SNL skit, you don't actually blow on it. But don't knock it 'till you've tried it.

Anonymous said...

...i remember her daddy, big as a truck...

jelliot said...

I hate the Friday fun quiz! But I did enjoy the "Quiz Show" last night that was put on by Jazquizz Rodgers and the Oregon State Beavers. Are you a Beaver Believer?

kale said...

I'm still a hung over OSU alum.

kale said...

And the official bumper sticker is:

"Beaver Fever: Snatch It!"

Ka_Jun said...

Dude...is that Jamie Favaro?

urchin said...

Once you've peered into the ineffible--or into the grizzled and unkempt visage of RTMS, for that matter--as I have, you will appreciate the evolving nature of language and the poetic possibilities of expressing two opposite reactions with one deep facial expression.

Or maybe not.

Meh.

--NJLSAIB

wishiwasmerckx said...

Critical ass: I never really realized it before, but I am big, slow, heavy and unreliable. Looks like I'm a..., I'm a..., I'm a Cadillac.

Anonymous said...

So, Spumoni, if you are calm and unflappable, are you "plussed?"

erik k said...

SO, they made a PBR bike but why don't those guys to make the BSNYC/RTMS bike? In honor of course, of the blog that inspired it. They could donate all proceeds to the cyclostan enrichment fund.

Anonymous said...

I heart TTD! that guy can sing it!

cornhole said...

im still pissed that you haters made fun of sting hes a musical genious you can suck my balls until they sting.

Justin said...

Ever consider the possibility that these pictures of bikes impossibly locked up are hoaxes? At least a few of them?

Anonymous said...

Do you know how dumb the average american is???

Half of them are even dumber than that.

Those "locked" bikes are ral.

This is also why Plain/Old man are gonna win. They should have an aptitude test before you can vote.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking Snob meant he sings like Terry Allen...

http://www.geocities.com/athens/parthenon/6865/allen.html

Perhaps this is a clue to Snob's appearance...
http://www.geocities.com/athens/parthenon/6865/salivation.gif

Achiever said...

Okay, let's try those url's again...

http://tinyurl.com/3ntqxo

http://tinyurl.com/3u2wpd

Karl Hungus said...

TTD is money. AYHSMB.

Anonymous said...

Bikesnob's on Jeopardy right now!

flip phillips said...

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Anonymous said...

If he doesn't Clavin he's gonna win.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Bikesnob!

Anonymous said...

...got my gun and my map and they're both in my lap...

jelliot said...

I heard Jacquizz Rodgers has a tatoo that reads AYHSMB.

Willie Mays Hayes said...

"BikeSnobNYC said...
Lucky,
I talk like Woody but I sing like Terry.
--RTMS"

I hit like Mays, and I run like Hayes

Inigo Montoya said...

Nonplussed.

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Trig Van Palin said...

redundant...should have scrolled up a bit

ben said...

These locking situations have to be staged, come on.

Philip Williamson said...

Eddy Merckx has a big, big head.

There are people with ring fingers longer than their index fingers? Creepy.

kale said...

Hi, I'm just not that concerned by this whole hullabaloo with NJLSAIB. He's an OK guy, but he's too much of a reactionary. You see, I'm sitting behind him, very incurious about this whole "Cancer" thing. Boooorinng! I'm going to talk on my cell, at least then I'll look like I'm a little entertained.

-IJTOCPSBNJLSAIB

Gnarles Darwin said...

Par for the course. I'm like super excited about getting my neck tattooed "TRACK STANDING DOUCHEBAG" seems right!

Anonymous said...

IFOV ONOV

cornhole said...

yeah they were sayin at my school that half the students were under the 50th percentile. it like they think were all dubm or something

Critical Ass said...

Keep smokin' that crack!

Katherine said...

Bummer...you were at Interbike and I didn't get to meet you. Hmph.

Anonymous said...

WTF!!!! this "erik k" is a friggen tard! no reason for detail...I'm going by Gut instinct

bikesgonewild said...

...'WTF!!!! this "anon 11:40am" is a friggen tard! no reason for detail...I'm going by Gut instinct'...

...gut instinct or obvious fact,dude, either way, yer talking about yerself...

...erik k is a contributor...enough said...

Andy Pandy said...

I had that POS seat post on my bike because Mr. Canadian Cheap arse cut corners. Had to buy the Campy 11 speed version with new improved aero to make myself feel better. Anyone want a FSA POS, going cheap, personally endorsed and signed by Crazy Greg

leroy said...

Prospect Park weekend
Caution: In Line Skating Race
Oi, must see shrink STAT.

genersal lsmenedd said...

ONE LESS PRIUS

ONE LESS BONO

ONE LESS STING

rtmsmb

ant1 said...

Funny article:

http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_135904.asp

Anonymous said...

In minimal defense of the R tard in #6 those Kryptonite brackets can be real stiff and hard to get the lock out of

rzu said...

Erik K's Nonplussed Journalist could have been the inspiration for this:
Nonplussed Putin

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