Friday, August 8, 2008

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

We may have had porn this week, but the truth is there's nothing more stimulating than the pornography of knowledge. So in order to get you aroused for the weekend I've prepared another quiz. As usual, read the question, think carefully, and click on your answer. If you're right, you'll either see the item or something that makes it clear you're correct. If you're wrong, you'll see this moving Richard Dawson tribute.

Thanks, and good luck.

--RTMS





What can we learn from this forlorn Pista on Williamsburg's Bedford Ave.?

--Always lock both your wheels
--Always bring your bike inside when you spend the night a someone's house, even if their roommate hates bikes, and even if you're so excited to be finally "getting some" you're afraid to leave even for a second lest they come to their senses
--The mechanical abilities of the typical Williamsburger only go so far as removing wheels and seatposts
--All of the above




Which '90s dance music group incorporated bicycle imagery into the video for their biggest hit?

--Bel Biv DeVoe
--Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
--C+C Music Factory
--Brooklyn Machine Works


What's going on here?

--Someone is "Staying Stylish on Two Wheels"
--Someone has gotten his thumb caught in his axle nut
--Someone has a detachable thumb
--Someone is a recovering thumbsucker


What's the best place to see someone with a sleeveless jersey, armwarmers, and a Ksyrium with a pie plate?





What is this man doing?

--Flossing his cogs with a homemade u-lock cog cleaner
--Lovingly tending to his pie plate
--Gratuitously showing off his many friendship bracelets
--All of the above



Who are these people?

--Mural artists
--The New York Times 27-inch bicycle tire testing team
--Members of a popular ironic metal cover band, Critical Mastodon
--Just your typical "holier than thou" SRM-addicted roadie elitists

Google recently launched Knol, a collection of user-written articles similar to Wikipedia. It's already off to a ripping start. Which is an actual quote from a Knol about finishing your first triathlon?

--"Take some time to familiarize yourself with marine life, because much of it can be dangerous, and fish can kill."
--"Scott is the new Cervelo, and 700c is the new 650c."
--"Deep-section aero wheels are incompatible with clincher tires."
--"I have no idea what I am talking about, and none of this would withstand FDA scrutiny."

73 comments:

Anonymous said...

s

Anonymous said...

uckers

Anonymous said...

!

Anonymous said...

podium

Wutz said...

Meow

Frenchy aka Bike Boy said...

Yes....not a bad result for a French guy riding clean...ok jersey smeels and the shorts darker tha they should be...but not doped! and riding a SS

stoned/drunkmountainbikerstorytopper said...

Damn, early post and I was snoozing.

stoned/drunkmountainbikerstorytopper said...

P.S. Sorry to let you down today Lucky7. BSNYC duped me by posting early. Shit.

Oettl said...

top ten
I contribute to society!

Anonymous said...

Wow I did I make the top ten the first time trying ????

ant1st said...

First!

plum said...

How do you even dare mention 90s music videos replete with bicycle imagery without mentioning Milli Vanilli?!! Sacrilege!

masshole said...

i gotsta get me one of them spoons dillweed is rocking. wicked!

stoned/drunkmountainbikerstorytopper said...

One of the best quizzes I have taken. I wish school would have been this fun. A couple of mindless observations by mice elf:

1. Richard Dawson rules. I didn't know he was dead. I friggin' grew up with that guy (not literally but by watching every episode of ..."the survey says!" I always wanted to be on the Family Feud, but I am an orphan.

2. Arm warmers and sleeveless jerseys rule. They work really well for evening out the farmer's tan.

3. Dillweed deserves his nickname. I think dillbag would be even better.

4. That's all I can come up with. Bong please.

g said...

Richard Dawson isn't dead.
And "the truth is there's nothing more stimulating than the pornography of knowledge" is just a testament to the quality of your porn.

AH said...

No fair asking a question about where to see a fashion faux pas and giving "triathlon" as the FALSE answer.

The NYT article about the 27" tires got me all turned on what with the talk of things "sliding right on" or being "really hard to get on."

genersal lsmenedd said...

i am giving up on customizing bianchi pistas.
tomorrow i will start customizing honda civics.

Lucky 7 said...

Ha ha! Thumbs up, Gary and Hoff!!

You got to sweat! let the music take control...

Stoned/drunk mobster! (had to redub ya) Can't win 'em all, and I'm not gonna be the Michael Ball of Lucky 7 (podium) Racing.

At least you held my lucky 7 spot, tho. Let's go get smashed...



A

Enhancement Smoker said...

Titanium sporks FTW

dopepedaler said...

Return to sender

Anonymous said...

FIRST!!!!!!!!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Snob, were your Specialized All Condition Armadollos "really hard to get on?" Did you almost pinch your inner tube "multiple times" during installation? I suspect that her ponderous breasts were getting in her way, causing the grief she experienced.

leroy said...

Only four right.

I thought Brooklyn Machine Works opened for Rick Astley. Go figure.

But armwarmers and a sleevless jersey?

I'm not one to talk, but really, that's a Flash Dance fashion faux pas flashback.

Ride safe this weekend.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Wishiwasmerckx,

Install my own tires?!? Way too difficult! I leave that sort of things to the experts at the LBS.

--RTMS

AnnaZed said...

John "Dillweed" Dill "Neuromancer" ~ has a bike tattoo positioned to show when he rolls his pants up.

This just makes me throw up in my mouth, a lot.

Just sayin' ...

O ' Bama said...

celebrity bait

jimmythefly said...

Seems I'm not the only one to notice dillweed's ti spork. F'ing sporks, excelling at nothing, just doing everything perfectly mediocre.

Lucky 7 said...

AnnaZed-

What is the vomit factor on pages 1-3, Nina Garfinkle, 46, Graphic designer?

"Her Strida has neon-green fenders and a rubber flywheel instead of a chain: which means no grease. Her Chinese rain poncho is cut to cover handlebars but stay out of the wheels."

I NEEED a french tickler helmet.



A

wishiwasmerckx said...

RTMS, if you want the manufacturer's logo/valve stem alignment to be oh-so-perfect, I guess it takes a seasoned tire mounting professional, the likes of which are only found at your LBS.

fleshblocks said...

I'm coming back for that frame with my hacksaw. DIBS i saw that shit yesterday!

Anonymous said...

thats not a pista its a san jose!

Bikeslob 80220 said...

She doesn't look bad for 46...and she even wears a marital aid on her head.

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
broomie said...

Oooh, I caught a case of the haters! Neuromancer style? I'm not sure there is a word to describe how, how douchemongerish that is. I'm sorry, is dressing up like a Jedi not enough for you, you must fantasize about being some cyber-fixie?

AH: The triathlon question was a tricky one. The key is the pie plate. Say what you will about triathlon, you're not going to find many pie plates in one.

leroy said...

Isn't the armadillo the official State Road Kill of Texas?

What does that say about Specilaized?

(I know what it says about me for riding Specialized Armadillos in NYC.)

bk jimmy said...

You can rag on Charlestown Dilly's beltloop spork, but a dangling affectation like that puts our hipsters to shame. Step up, Billyburg!

AH said...

broomie---
Thanks for the clarification. I'll make a note and pay closer attention next time.

dwight moody said...

The Dillweed bastard is ripping off my nut-ring. I sported that back in 2000 when I was riding in Boston. Heck, he probably stole that ring from me, I wore it on my pinkie, so it would probably fit his emaciated hipster thumb.

mr.complaint said...

What's the best place to see someone with a sleeveless jersey, armwarmers, and a Ksyrium with a pie plate?

The correct answer is the Alternative Fashion Capital of America, LA. Right there next to the American Apparel outlet.

Cornhole said...

the quiz was way too hard.

seeing 18 runs of Richard dawson mtarted to give me a seizure.

stoned/drunkmountainbikerstorytopper said...

You know what would be really cool!? Getting two full sleeve tattoos, all black, with maybe a cycling company logo in there somewhere, and always wear a sleeveless jersey. Damn, I may have to start a new trend and get famous. Don't start copyin' my steez y'all.

Sprocketboy said...

We could play "The Boston Globe Cyclist You Most Resemble Could Be the Key to Your Personality!" I was thrilled by the sight of that spork (does he have a tin plate on a carabiner on the other side?) on Dillweed, but I fear that I look much more like Professor-Man-the-Commuter-with-the-Blinky-Lights. On a more serious note, our Paper of Record in Toronto had an article about how it is scientifically proven that riding a bicycle will give you erectile dysfunction. Although there are lots of entertaining pills to deal with this, one poster working for the manufacturer suggested riding a MoonSaddle, which appears to be a bicycle saddle shaped like a sideways croissant (http://www.moonsaddle.com/). I will wear a spork on my person before I would resort to this expedient, which would chafe worse than a penis sheath.

stoned/drunkmountainbikerstorytopper said...

Oh yeah, just to clarify: Not total sleeves, you'd have to leave the top 5 inches below the top of the shoulder bare.

Just sayin'...

stoned/drunkmountainbikerstorytopper said...

Sprocketboy - you tell those scientists to STFU! How many Chinese folks ride bikes? What's the population there? Uh huh. That's what I thought.

echuck said...

guys - moonsaddles are the new Brooks!!!

AnnaZed said...

I hate to say it, but maybe my natural curmudgeoness is at bay today, or something, but Nina Garfinkle, Graphic designer seems sort of cute to me. I'm not a guy though, so, I don't really know.

I would even call her a cyclist if she actually braves to Boston streets on that thing. I lived there for a time and the slush, snow, ice, dirt, broken bricks and other hazards there are epic.

Anonymous said...

RE the moonsaddle ad

notice how in the pics of the skeleton sitting on the traditional saddle the sit bones are not even resting on the seat.

That would definitely cause some tissue irritation.

g said...

I wonder how many times Nina Garfinkle, Graphic designer, has heard (in the true Raising Arizona voice):
"Gurl, yew gotta rubber on yer hed."

Bikeslob 80220 said...

The Moon Saddle kinda scares me. What happens when you take a corner hard? Myself... I ride a Selle Italia Flite, and I seem to hae a boner most of the time.

El Guapo [TC] said...

I hate dillweed.

You gotta be kidding me, that's as bad as riding around with a hankerchief as a fashion accessory.

sky is falling said...

Bicycle cog cleaning device guy says "Trying really hard not to condiscend here...."

I love guys who try to be all sarcastic & smart ass and then can't even spell the big words they're trying to use to be condescending.

Anonymous said...

when geese attack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OStX_wrWGg

AnnaZed said...

Ok maybe it's the magic date (080808) or something lunar or something but I feel just plain unable to snark at anything much but Dillweed (who is such an easy target that he hardly counts as true BSNYC Comments crucifixion fodder).

As for the NYTimes 27" tire testers; they are in fact some cool-ass folks those folks at the Bicycle Kitchen, and frankly their take on those tires is pretty much right on. Being a GIRL (flimsy fingers) I can in fact relate to the non-technical observation that a certain tire is "hard to get on" (the rim that is) sometimes, and normal non-bike maniac folks often question why a person would want a tire with minimal tread ~ so they just sort of explained that.

So, spectacular breasts or not I say that Ramona Marks is cool.

Just Sayin' ...

Sprocketboy said...

Stoned/drunk:

Not only are the Chinese not having any man-problems with their cycling, how 'bout that Jens Voigt? He probably puts in 40,000 kms a year (30,000 kms attacking) and then goes home and fathers yet more children: I think he is up to five or six now. You won't catch him on a MoonSaddle, I guarantee it.

AnnaZed said...

Well, back to snark.

That moon saddle is designed for strictly insane persons only.The last shop I worked in had one (that's one!) customer who road one and he was certifiable. I kid you not, barking mad. He really liked that saddle and would talk at some length about it, sort of heavily implying that his need for this saddle was related to the astonishing girth of certain areas of his person etc. I hated this customer so much that I would clock out and endure NOT GETTING PAID while I hung out out back and waited for him to leave.

There's your target customer for that item in a nut shell (as it were).

Lucky 7 said...

AnnaZed,

I was starting to worry that your account had been hijacked or something.

BTW, thanks for sharing all your "Who not to be" shop stories. Hope to never be one of them.



A

Africancellmates said...

I want to chop my legs off and become a paraplegic after seeing the "Staying Stylish on Two Wheels" article. Blehhhhhhhhh....

c_c_rider said...

perhaps 27" is the new 29"

Cameron said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cameron said...

Damit! I knew I should have named it oldjalopy27inchtiredtenspeedgallery.com!

tex said...

Mmmmmmmm....... Bar-B-Dillo!

flipflop wheel said...

I swear I read that the first time as "Richard Dawkins Tribute".

Thousand Points of Light said...

BSNYC,

Price Drop!! This is sooo good:


awesome single speed (not fixie) 52cm all black16.5 lbs. - $700 (Chelsea)

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/788856455.html

Anonymous said...

"Spork used as Knife"

Cadel Evans said...

"Hanging from his carabiner is a spork which he uses as a tool and a utensil.


-Maybe this will come in useful when he realizes what he has become and decides to stab himself in the neck.



"Nina Garfinkle, 46"


-She looks good. Damn good for 46...

svirgula said...

The Wolpack Hustle picture actually shows a dude with an Aksium wheelset. But a pie plate is a pie plate.

Wolfpack is pretty amusing. Word is Kyle's a trustfund kiddie. You'd think someone who comes from so much money would have lerned grahmer and to spell gooder, but I think silly 3Rensho frames and pursuit bikes must've taken a higher priority than teh tutors.

Brian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cornhole said...

readin them girlie boy mini drivers whining makes me think that the EYEtalian job was like totally staged. No way a hottie like chalize theron or whatever her name is would be caught dead in one. unless she was already dead.

TiLer said...

What's the best place to see someone with a sleeveless jersey, armwarmers, and a Ksyrium with a pie plate?

Why at your local REI of course!
Pretty sure thats a Novara he is riding... I think that would explain the pie plate.

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