Monday, August 25, 2008

The BSNYC Absentee Art Exhibition (Part II)

The many faces of Cadel Evans, by Erik K:



Frodo Evans




"With everything that's gone on in the last three months - I had tendonitis, a huge crash in the Tour de France, defending the yellow (jersey) with only one leg and breaking my anterior cruciate ligament - I was on crutches for three or four days after the Tour."





Cadel Evans, the "John Coltrane of excuses."


63 comments:

wishiwasmerckx said...

Podium again, bitches!

Anonymous said...

Excellent, but you need a lion or a Chihuahua.

Barak Obama said...

cadel evans is one of my inspirations.

Anonymous said...

BOOOORRRRRINNNNG

Frenchy aka Bike Boy said...

Top 5?
He was whinny when he rode dirt and he has only gotten whinier... Please leave him out of any other future topics on this site as he sucks the big one.

Mongo Pusher said...

Cinco!

The French Ticklr said...

Lucky Seven!

Anonymous said...

Top ten ... yeah !

Andrew said...

excuse supreme
excuse supreme
excuse supreme
excuse supreme
excuse supreme
excuse supreme
excuse supreme

ear worm, dammit!
(I'll just spark up that Life Saver lovin' genius right now)

Boz said...

Erik K - The John Coltrane of Photoshop.

Robin said...

#11

mary poppins said...

don't touch me!

O ' Bama said...

no speechifying please,
this is a prologue

Anonymous said...

Well done E.K. When's the exhibition catalog going on sale in the gift shop?

Anonymous said...

Top twenty, everybody!!

guero canadiense said...

Nice one.

Anonymous said...

At least he is more entertaining than LEVI.

cadel evans said...

Erik K, you'll be hearing from my lawyers.

I'm Cadel Evan's Solisitor said...

Mr. Erik_K,

Mr. Evans has instructed me to contact you concerning the disparagements and injuriously statements you have made against him visually. However the cad whines so much about everything I can not see how we can make a substantial case for injury.

Carlos Sastre said...

if the snob is away and you podium, is it like winning the tour without Contador?

craigslist ad said...

"...don't insult my bike with offers lower than $775..."

that bike has been on the list since early spring. don't insult us by trying to sell the "fucked trophy" you had built at a "boutique" (with weinmann rims)that is simply "too small" for you now.

Anonymous said...

dude, the front clearance is less than a dime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

abelgus said...

Cadel whines - Lance Gobbles

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/16/us/16lance.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=Lance%20Armstrong%20water&st=cse&oref=slogin

Gerchof Sirdribeldik said...

Cadel is my aspiration, because he sucks.

I think I make American funny.

Norman said...

Well, if you take into account his peg-leg, the 'Strain won, then, right?

P.S. re: craigslist ad:

Those fork crown lugs aren't even thinned.

Lucky 7 said...

Bravo Eric K.

Once again I am tickled into reflection at your Cindy Sherman-esque treatment of Cadel as both protagonist and antagonist, a voyeur of his own narcissism.

In this tryptic, I find the lampoonery of the physical deformation inherent to both the slight-statured, fat-footed Frodo and the EPO-swilling, peglegged pirate in the first 2 images to be apt signifiers of his poorly cobbled performances and subsequent attempts at mea culpa.

As if unfortunate genetics (in the first) and occupational overpacking (in the second) were truly considered the excuses of a cheated champion, Eric K. brands Cadel in the third image with all the visual cruelty that tabloid journalism has seen fit to impart, offering not one shred of color, no hint of sympathy, no escape from the lens of vitriol de rigeuer.

"Excuses Supreme" indeed; to invoke the virtuosity of the cacophonous one begs the question of Evans' dedication to the sport, or of his dedication to being a pretender, as the first 2 images might imply. More universally, merely changing the team kit does nothing to change the rider. The black heart remains.


Just waxin...



A

sumadis said...

I think Cadel's in the closet.

And desperately want's to come out.

broomie said...

What Lucky 7 said!

And I just noticed that Cadle wears masacara.

cornhole said...

Lucky 7

you think your pretty smart, don't you/

smart ass maybe

Lucky 7 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jim said...

EricK, nice job. But you better ease off on Cadel, before "and plus some American blogger was making fun of me and it hurt my feelings and you have no idea how hard it is to ride with emotionally crippling pain like that" gets added to his Litany of Excuses.

Enhancement Smoker said...

When did Bike Snob say he was gonna be back?

Critical Ass (formerly Bikeslob) said...

Funny "boutique" fixie ad by Anon. 12:55. If this bike was so "boutique", then why did they build it out of 501 (cro-mo) tubing? Also, the fork crown clearance might come in useful for scraping the goose doo-doo off my front tire when I ride through the park.

* said...

would have been first but all my fingers have been chewed off and I am in fact typing with two large nubs.

Kinoko said...

Cadel went dark side before Schleck and Sastre. He's back on the Death Star. Evans is Sith? noooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

Miles Davis said...

Coltrane blows.

Miles Davis said...

Coltrane blows.

Nacho Vidal said...

I look like Cadel Evans!

veloben said...

That bike being the nike and adidas of bikes is like being the Macdonalds and Wendys of hamburger.

Yaraslav Popovich said...

Stop whaling on my team leader Mr Cadel. On top of his massive physical limitations, now I will have to emotionally carry him to the Vuelta and up and down hilly bits.

Barry McKenzie said...

Aw gee, you Americans.. now that Lance is gone you haven't got anyone who is worth sh!t. We won't count Floyd the Doper, then there's Hinacapie and Levi (I coulda been a contender).
Finishing 4th, 2nd and 2nd is no mean feat in, what Lance once described as the hardest sporting race in the world. So, when the next American consistently finishes that high (if another one ever does) expect the rest of us to exhibit the same level of sportsmanship as yourselves.

Mark said...

Barry,
You suck, and you're a whiner also!

Anonymous said...

Pick on one of the top athletes in the world for taking second place? You are one weird dude! You can't stand in Cadel's shadow. Go back to picking on the people who deserve it. Are you short on material? Craig

frilly said...

Yaroslav, don't know if you've heard the news but you've been spared...at least for the Vuelta.

Yaraslav Popovich said...

Thanks Frilly , you do not know how much THOSE HILLS CAN HURT, especially on a diet of soda and snickers bars

Mofungo said...

This would be funny if it were funny. But it's not. Cadel's more interesting than most pro-riders... he has a personality at least and is somewhat entertaining. Most pro-riders... yawn....

Elvin Jones said...

Stick it

dumb guy said...

Lucky 7:

I thought that was funny until I read back and saw that your doing it over today. A lesson I keep trying to teach my eight year old. Most jokes are only funny once.
You have a thesaurus,....we get it.

c_c_rider said...

it still baffles me how two whiney bitches like cadel and levi nabbed hot wives.

Anonymous said...

By the time Snob gets back, this site will be RIP'd.

Someone better for the Last Rites.

Anonymous said...

Doh!

Someone better get a priest to read the Last Rites.

carl lafong said...

I only have a year left anyway.

ant1st said...

First!

sorry for the delay, I was out of town.

Lucky 7 said...

Thanks dumb guy @ 2:34.

My comments weren't jokes. I was writing to Erik K. about the images he took time to make for our entertainment. Y'know, something other than Podium!, sarcastic kiddie quips, or BOOOOOOORRRRRRIIIINNNNGGG.



A

dumb guy said...

fuck you lucky 7

erik k said...

lucky 7, thanks an well said.

frilly said...

Yaroslav, are you stalking me?!?

And I think I would lose Padraig as an admirer if he knew why I was able to get up that hill Sunday. But I'll never tell. Ha!

Jack said...

Been a lurker for a while. Just wanted to tell you how awesome your blog is. keep it up!

J

http://adventuresinvoluntarysimplicity.blogspot.com/

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Documentaries said...

Mr. Evans has instructed me to contact you concerning the disparagements and injuriously statements you have made against him visually. However the cad whines so much about everything I can not see how we can make a substantial case for injury.

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