Tuesday, June 24, 2008

This Just In: PistaDex.com Launches!


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Readers of the BikeSnobNYC blog will no doubt be familiar with the PistaDex, a means by which the popularity of fixed-gear bicycles can be measured. Well, now there is an entire website devoted entirely to this hot new pop culture catch phrase: PistaDex.com! For the moment, PistaDex.com consists simply of a single page containing a definition of "PistaDex." However, stay tuned--in the coming days PistaDex.com will transform itself into the definitive destination for all things PistaDex! There will be PistaDex forums, where visitors can not only share photos of their own Pistas, but also exchange wacky overpriced Pista ads from their local Craigslist. There will also be tickers which constantly monitor the PistaDex in major cities across the USA and around the world, so you know just how much your Pista is worth. Best of all, there will be merchandise, including t-shirts with clever slogans like: "You're spiking my PistaDex!;" "Keep your eyes on the PistaDex!;" and, simply, "PistaDex!" And that's just the beginning. So keep checking back at PistaDex.com like the the rat in a skinner box that you are!

Actually, I have nothing to do with PistaDex.com. It appears to have been up for about a month now, but I only became aware of it yesterday. To be honest, I was a little creeped out when I first saw it--it was kind of like getting up in the middle of the night to urinate and finding a stranger sitting on your toilet. I'll admit I was also irked at first, but after some reflection I decided I should simply help this mysterious PistaDex webmaster by continuing to supply him or her with ideas. So I drafted the above press release. I'm not sure what this person intends to do with this site, but I'm hoping that this helps spur them into some kind of action. Plus, I'd really like to buy a PistaDex t-shirt! Wouldn't you?

Oh, by the way, the .net and .org variants appear to be available if you're interested.


In other news, a reader informs me that there is a person in Nashville who will not only sell you a pie plate for $8 but will also install it for you:





Should you take advantage of this fantastic deal just watch out for geese--and now, for blackbirds as well! (Thanks Cameron.)


It is truly inspiring to see the avian community joining together to rid the world of pie plates. Someone really ought to start a website!

69 comments:

ant1 said...

first?

ant1 said...

sweet!

Kyle Sennish said...

3rd!

ant1 said...

where is everybody? Did the party move to a new blog?

ant1 said...

you can go ahead and claim second Kyle, I can't wear both jerseys at once.

K-Ro said...

I'm claiming third then, hosers.

ant1 said...

Haven't been called a hoser in a while. Thanks for the memories.

Anonymous said...

all I can say is, its about time!

Anonymous said...

Ooooooh.....I can't wait for Kevin....he's SOOOOOO interesting.

Anonymous said...

...for lunch.

Andrew said...

first!

(to complain about the spirnters)

you guys suck!

Anonymous said...

I think they should give you some royalties.

Could you bank a royalty cheque made out to "BikeSnobNYC" or "RTMS"?

Much love,

The Grimp

Anonymous said...

I can't wait for Annazed to tango with KevinFtMyers some more. I will do my part to stir the pudding.

Anonymous said...

Pistadex.com...art immatating art...nice

ice cube said...

BSNYC,

You need to hit them up for plagarizing your idea!

ice cube said...

intelectual plagarism rather.

331miles said...

Here's your water bottle. Domestiques never finish first.

bikesgonewild said...

..."look !!!...up there in the sky...it's a bird, it's a plane...no, it's superman !!!"...

..."settle down, you idiots...it's just another 'jumping the shark' sighting...sheesh, it goes on all the time these days"...

SD said...

Maybe Kevin can go through every bike he has ever owned today. Maybe he'll prove to us that he really is cool, but the guys at the local bike shop are all tools, 'cause they won't talk bike stuff with him. Perhaps he will wax poetic on the zen of brakeless fixies. So many possibilities!

Anonymous said...

last place in the 2nd top ten

dopepedaler said...

This post was mailed in on the bulk rate. I wish the Snob was here.

Andrew said...

this is not today's post - this is today's "this just in"

the snob will be here soon

CycleSpawn said...

Inane podium comment, gratuitous insult to commentators in general.

Hard to believe a single blogger is having such an impact on a "bike culture" that's waay too cool for him.

Snob does need a website, though.

Anonymous said...

Go avian community.... and dive bomb cycles pawn while you're at it.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Alas, Commiecanuck, I am not a dentist. I do, however, own a classic Team 7-11 Eddy Merckx with an incongruent carbon fork instead of the chrome fork it sported when it left the factory in Belgium. Why, you may ask? Because I am the proud owner of ... a Parking Garage Bike. There is an exquisite level of humiliation when you crash your bike HARD and you are not even riding it at the time.

AH said...

$8 for a piece of shit plastic thingy that is the first thing to end up in the trash can once the wheel gets home!?!?!?!?

Boz said...

Quit poking sticks in Kevi's hornets nest. Let sleeping dogs do what ever sleeping dogs do, don't wake him up. Please.

erik k said...

PistaDex! shirts

scott said...

Don't spike my PistaDex, bro.

Who is Kevin? Is he friends with CLY? I don't want to meet anyone new unless they can somehow get me closer to the Clem.

fro said...

top 30! hopelessly mired mid pack as usual. fuck i suck. what do goofy roller blades cost.

Anonymous said...

bsnyc is the only one i have eyes for.
j

Anonymous said...

"To be honest, I was a little creeped out when I first saw it--it was kind of like getting up in the middle of the night to urinate and finding a stranger sitting on your toilet."

Where do you live ? You may want to consider moving; maybe to Williamsburg.

Commiecanuk said...

Bad timing, if this were the go-go 90s, pistadex.com would have raised $120M in market capital and they would have paid off Snobby with at least 200,000 shares of blue-chip stock.

However, it's the post-Enron, post-Martha 00s, so this is likely just a website parked for future use as a gay golden shower pic site.

The pie plate guy is following the commuter cycling trend as I have with my new company, InternetsBikeSafetySquaddotCom, where highly trained DeVry graduates drive around in Ford Windstars providing critical bike safety services such as: pie plate installation, spoke reflector replacement, valve cap tightening, and the July "TDF special" -collagen injection for lawyer lips.
This week's other web special: the LED blinking butt plug with optional turn signals.

You can never be too safe, think of the children, etc. and so forth.

IndyFan said...

Nashville is home of half the Gran Fondo Fixies team (Jeff Bauer, Evans, GA and Kevin Kaiser, Nashville, TN) who completed RAAM 2008 on 48:17, fixed-gear Salsa Casserolls, traveling 3,014.4 miles in 8 days 04:21 with an overall average speed of 15.35 mph.

Kale said...

I've just bought tallbikedex.com to get ready for the next Apocalypse.

short hair said...

I'll take my pistadex shirt in classic. ohh by the way Snobby, you have already been plagiarized in shirt form. http://bikeportland.org/photos/photo/2578881641/Stumptown-Joustdown-32jpg.html

short hair said...

ahh, how do you do that hidden link thing?

ant1 said...

indyfan - I've been asking every bike shop wrench for that information about nashville for years, and none of them, including Annazed if you can believe that, could provide me with it. But now I know. The next thing on my list, if someone could help me out, is "what brand of toilet paper does Boonen's trainer use, in what town, and on a comode facing which direction?"

Jim said...

Hey, screw you people with your simple Pistadex and Craigslist markets. That stuff is for small ballers.

Now that we have an actual market index for the Pista resale sector, the time has come for me to amass the cash for a place in the Hamptons, doin' it the Old Fashioned 1998 Way.

That's right, as of this moment, I'm announcing an all-new BSNYC Pistadex Futures Market, and for those of you who want to either get really super-rich really super-fast, or alternately crash the Indonesian economy over the course of a weekend, the BSNYC Pistadex Derivatives Market.

That's right, you can short sell, go long, arbitrage risk, or sit around the house all day in your Nashbar Basic Shorts, sucking down Cytomax and pissing away your 401k plan gambling on whether the Pistadex will go up, down, or sideways to make you money.

But hell, the futures market is nothing; if you have a set, you need to gamble... er, I mean invest in whether some fractional combination of futures prices, present prices, risk, the cost of pork bellies, and a multiple of the random number known only to the guy testing Alberto Contador's hematocrit level generates a payoff to rival the green numbers on the Roulette table. That's right, the Pistadex Derivatives Market is just the ticket for those for whom downhill MTB competitions, Cat IV roadracing or group rides with recumbent riders is just not risky enough.

Naturally, smart people will buy gold powdercoated Pistas before my meddling in the Pista market causes a bubble, then a huge economic crash. And naturally I'll be the target of a lot of political chit chat, first by people who want me to buy them into office, then by the same people who are shocked, shocked that something was amiss, and oh by the way they sent my most recent batch of donation checks back to me the other week. Yep, it's about time somebody in the bike industry made money other than Tyler Hamilton's lawyer, and I'm just the man. Sure, it sounds like an insanely irresponsible pyramid scheme, but since when was that ever a reason to avoid the latest hot investments?

So who's with me?


You can send checks, cash, valuable gems, money orders, Campagnolo 11 Speed cassettes or other precious metals to:

Jim's Pistadex Futures Market & Derivatives Emporium
Stock Exchange Tower
008 Place Victoria (Suite 0017)
P.O. Box 021
Montreal (Quebec) H4Z 1B7
Canada

ant1 said...

jim, I'm with you, or at least with the first couple paragraphs.

Matt said...

I got pecked in the head once by a red-winged blackbired. Weird thing is, I was on my way to buy my first bicycle helmet. Haven't been pecked since! See! Bike helmets protect you from lots of dangers! Not sure about the geese, though.

Anonymous said...

I think you need a full face DOT approved helmet to protect against the geese.

short hair said...

as I tried to say before, Snobby you could have a copyright case on your hands

p.s. I hope the link works

Splic said...

Hey! I know what a skinner box is!

veloben said...

Well as long as your parents didn't put you in one, you're OK.

leroy said...

Jim -- good idea, but I only invest in Leroydex futures.

It's not like gambling for me.

Kelly XY said...

Spins offs can be great, i.e. Laverne and Shirley, The Jeffersons or they can be devil spawn, Joanie loves Chachi or After Mash.

mamsterla said...

Ask Fabio if you need a full helmet for geese FABIO!

Anonymous said...

The phone number of the registrant is publicly available:

http://whois.domaintools.com/pistadex.com

kurtdriver said...

"Continuing advances in human engineering technology" Are they truly engineering humans? Can't someone stop them?

Anonymous said...

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/bik/731601251.html


Super sweet bianchi (based on where it's from in B-more, it's a pista!) for only $800! What a steal!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I think the black bird is actually going after the rider for the U-lock on the handlebars...

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