Thursday, June 12, 2008

This Just In: (One) Less is (One) More


The bicycle/car combo above as featured in Monday's post has proven to be a lightning rod of controversy. (Assuming of course the lightning rod has a sticker on it that says "One Less Lightning Bolt.") Some rushed to condemn the owner, HW, for having an ostentatious vehicle and a hypocritical sticker. Others came to his aid, stating how much he rides and pointing out there's really nothing so odd about sticking a bike on a car once in awhile. And of course this is true. I for once certainly find nothing reprehensible about using a car to convey a bicycle once in awhile and in fact have done it plenty of times myself. (Sometimes you've just got to leave town to lose races, and sometimes you've just got to go mountain biking.)  It's just that this particular bicycle with this particular car was particularly amusing.  A crappy, be-stickered fixed-gear is essentially urban transport and a middle finger to the luxury SUV-driving establishment, so using one to haul the other in an urban environment is kind of like penning a vegan screed in pig's blood on a piece of cowhide, or spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to make an album with that "raw" sound.  But is HW really hurting the world with his incongruity?  Not really, it just looks funny.

Still, the only reason I hesitate to publicly defend HW is the following photo series, which is highly troubling and which was forwarded to me anonymously by a reader/informant. Contrary to HW's claims, I'm beginning to get the impression that these wheels have never touched pavement at all. (Though who can blame him--those Spinergys are liable to shatter at the slightest provocation.) Moreover, in every case the bicycle has a sticker on it decrying the very vehicle on which it is being transported. (You'll have to take my word for that.) See for yourself:


"One Less Shinkansen"



"One Less Hydrofoil"




"One Less Dirigible"*

*(I don't think a hot air balloon is technically a dirigible so I'll let him off the hook there.)



"One Lessus Equus"

This controversy is like the new 11 speed Campy, in that the more you see of it the uglier it gets. I just hope we don't find this bike in the back of a pedicab. 

64 comments:

Anonymous said...

zoop!

joe said...

second

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't it be one FEWER car anyway?

Anonymous said...

My, aren't we up early today.

EAZY-E said...

"one less bitch i gotta worry about."

Anonymous said...

one less top ten.

Anonymous said...

wow, early today!

HW said...

I got up at 6 this morning because I had a feeling you would call me out again. Ha! I guess I just picked the first bike out of my ELEVENacious bikes and threw it on the front of the hydrofoil. I bet I looked pretty RAD flying down the LA river as I flew my OLH sticker, huh?

douchely yours,
HW

prolly said...

as for HW...

"I know him pretty well and he's a solid dude and has been sticking bikes on every form of transportation known to man for a long, long time for whatever thats worth."

Jonathan said...

top ten is the new top eleven

SD said...

Where can I get a bolt on derailleur hanger to turn my fixed gear monstrosity into an 11 speed? I think I'll need bar ends to attach the shifters to my 8 inch wide bars, too.

techb3 said...

tenth place is the new 9th loser.

daddo.one said...

informants? here at Bike Snob NYC?!!

man, one of you guys sucks!

Jonathan said...

9th loser is the new top ten.

Erik said...

Anonymous 9:14 - I often refer to my wife as Conan the Grammarian and she confirmed for me that it should be one fewer car. That bugs me. But what really hurts my eyes is the new One Less Car NEON yellow t-shirt. Ouch.

Anonymous said...

You forgot "one less john deere tractor" and "one less combine".

I'd do it but I'm too lazy and don't have photoshop.

Commiecanuk said...

I tried an experiment and placed a "One less bike" sticker on a bike, this resulted in being able to ride down a long tunnel and into the mind of John Malkovich.

I then made John Malkovich ride the bike down the tunnel and Malkovich Malkovich. Malkovich? Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. Malkovich....Malkovich.

techb3 said...

9th loser of the top ten is jonathan.

;>

john malkovich said...

"I know Malkovich pretty well and he's a solid dude and has been cycling for a long, long time for whatever thats worth."

Corey said...

F THAT SUV!

john malkovich said...

Being John Malkovich is complex, but being prolly just sucks.

wishiwasmerckx said...

According to today's newspaper, New York City is a giant festering cesspool of the genital herpes virus, with infection rates 30% higher than the national average. Snob, you need to get your wife and kids out of there ASAP. Granted, "BikeSnobCederRapids" lacks the cachet of your current appellation. Perhaps in the near future, we'll be seeing "BikeSnobNYC, brought to you by Valtrex."

fine print from todays newspaper article on genital herpes said...

"Figures for "New York City" taken from a recent cess poll extracted from cool bars on Bedford Ave, Williamsburg."

Amir said...

Amir is greater than 30% herpes-free, and he is the only one ladies need to be concerned with.

thejakesnakes said...

Geez.

Gettin thin on left-overs like Ricky Lake

Loser said...

Firsties!
Top Ten!
zoop!
[insert inane comment here]

prolly said...

as for Amir...

"I know him pretty well and he's a solid dude and has been a virgin for a long, long time for whatever thats worth."

Bikeslob 80220 said...

Snob,

Don't take Merckx's advise. I grew up in Cedar Rapids, Iowa and I can assure you that somebody would definitely run your ass over if you moved there. Probably an octagenerian wearing blue-blockers. I left Cedar Rapids in 1987 and absolutely nothing has changed. You wouldn't have to worry about hipsters though. Trucker hats, mullets, and moustaches are all over the place there. But they are not ironic.

stu run said...

mercx and bikeslob,

I too grew up in Cedar Rapids and left in 1988. Not a bikefriendly environment, although we used to ride RAGBRAI in the summer, and that was a hoot.

Half of CR is underwater right now, so they could use that hydrofoil back.

Sean Lynch said...

john malkovich said...

"Being John Malkovich is complex, but being prolly just sucks."

This always confused me, but I'm easily confused.

We say 'it sucks' or 'it blows' like that's a bad thing. Either way I'm wondering how jm knows that prolly sucks. Is it just anectdotal, or does jm really know?

GhostRider said...

That's the world's fastest hydrofoil powered by biofuel. The pilot sucked fat out of his own ass to power it. Seriously:

http://tinyurl.com/4tcr2a

OpenYourEyes said...

In the spirit of one-less-menship, Erik K can you get on this bumper sticker idea of mine: "Calories - the original fuel source".

What it says is:
F-you nuclear,
F-you fossil,
F-you hydrogen,
F-you electricity,
F-you m.f-er's, "I put out".

However, now that I have sent my shot across the bow, I need to call it something other than a bumper sticker... hmmm... ideas?

Todd said...

Last night while out with a friend, we were waiting at a red light when a fixie clone rolled up along side us and proceeded to hold a track stand for all of 2.2 seconds before tumbling over in the gutter. Lucky he didn't damage his designer jeans or scuff his Chrome bag.

I never thought I'd heckle a fellow "cyclist" but it felt so good to roll down the window and say "Nice trackstand" before driving away.

sean lynch said...

Ghostrider,

Did the pilot SUCK fat or BLOW fat, and do you REALLY know?

douchely confused and yours,
being Sean Lynch

prolly said...

as for the PILOT that ghostrider referenced...

"I know him pretty well and he's a solid dude and has been SUCKING fat out of his own ass for a long, long time for whatever thats worth."

Anonymous said...

Wait, do bicycles and dreamcatchers really have this much in common? http://cgi.ebay.com/Handmade-dream-catcher-from-recycled-bicycle-parts_W0QQitemZ170228457320QQihZ007QQcategoryZ98084QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

leroy said...

Dear wishiwasmerckx --

Thank you for the current events update concerning Herpes infections in NYC, but I get all the news I need on the weather report.

And besides, we now all know you can't believe everything you read in Bust Magazine.

Anyway, we know you ain't buying the story. If you were truly worried, you would have changed your name to wishiwasMerckPharmaceutical.

(Your report, however, puts the lie to them folks who say New Yorkers aren't friendly.)

prolly said...

as for New Yorkers...

"I know them pretty well and they're solid dudes and have been spreading herpes for a long, long time for whatever thats worth."

Anonymous said...

mounted never ridden

Sean Lynch said...

Wow, i've been imitated!

How pathetic. I feel a connection with some nerd in their Mom's basement somewhere.

Have fun anonymous sean lynch.

sean lynch said...

Zing, you really got me there!

Where did you get those skillz?

Anonymous said...

Mr. Lynch,

Judging from your blog, you feel that "connection between some nerd in his Mom's basement somewhere" because you obviously are "some nerd in his Mom's basement somewhere."

sean lynch's mind said...

I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you...

db said...

For the sequel column:

- "One Less Trolley"
- "One Less Covered Wagon"
- "One Less Steam Locomotive"
- "One Less Segway"
- "One Less Ironclad"

AnnaZed said...

"mounted never ridden"

Oh man, I;m just not gonna touch that (though I guess that I just sort of did) - ewwwww.

techb3 said...

For the unicyclist:

-"One Less Wheel"

Anonymous said...

"mounted never ridden"

kinda like:

smoked never inhaled
Or
sucked never swallowed
Or
put the tip in never penetrated

ALL "celebrations of a true classic."

Anonymous said...

One Less Car

I just remembered this "Don't" from Vice magazine. Seems appropriate for this crowd.

http://www.viceland.com/int/dd.php?id=770

Anonymous said...

Man, I'd like to mount and ride a nerd's MILFy mom in a basement somewhere. One less virgin!

Simon said...

It really should say one fewer. I mean, what's the point of saving the environment if we have to kill grammar in the process? Less where we mean fewer, breaks where we mean brakes (unless we're talking about Spinergys... Spinergies?...)

Is this a sign of the FGA, Snob?

Also, this

http://canberra.yourguide.com.au/news/local/sport/cycling/hey-bos-my-bikes-still-the-boss/788853.aspx

was amusing. Ryan Bayley talking smack about Theo Bos and his bling-bling Koga Miyata.

Koga Miyata = $1,000,000
BT Stealth = $25,000

At that price I think they plan to give every Australian Olympian a Stealth. Boxer? Sure. Tennis Player? No worries. Hell, take one for the ball boys.

They're pretty much polo bikes over here in Oz.

We plan to have a 'take a Stealth, leave a Stealth' system up and running soon.

Andy Pandy said...

I am going to hold my ground here, suffer in decimal mode until campy comes out with a dodecahedral speed drive system

HW said...

I'm just happy to supply content :)

// "Douchely yours" is a registered trademark of HW Inc.

Tim said...

hey - material alert - just wondered if you saw the annual "Velonews Tour de France Issue" - - there is some good stuff in there, but the one thing that really caught my eye was the George Hincapie "Matrix" Northwave shoe ad - really good stuff. Also, did you know that certain Pistadexians have been bringing out their rollers to the Panhandle park in the Haight in San Francisco for a little "outside fixie riding?" I didn't have a camera when i saw it, but it really did happen. i blogged in my mouth.

Anonymous said...

SUV LUV = ONE MORE PROBLEM

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Chunny Chunny said...

OUTRAGE!!!

That is NOT a dirigible, that is a balloon - dirigibles are ridged, like zeppelins.

That is NOT a hydrofoil, it's a biodiesel boat that was going around the world.

Failure is NOT acceptable

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Anonymous said...

Ben Plant.....

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