Theme Bikes: Brilliance Rides a Fixed Gear

Many of you will remember "The Riddle," which has heretofore stood as the single greatest fixed-gear bicycle ever built. (Million dollar Koga Miyatas notwithstanding.) The product of a one-year sabbatical and almost unfathomable self-importance, so mighty is "The Riddle" that I hardly even bother looking at Fixedgeargallery these days, since I know nothing will stir my spirit like "The Riddle" once did. After you've seen "The Riddle," ordinary bikes just don't move you anymore. It's like listening to ordinary guitarists and then hearing cheesemongering neo-classical metal virtuoso Yngwie J. Malmsteen play. You just can't go back. (And sometimes you can't stop vomiting either.) I mean, after "The Riddle," why even try, right?

(The Riddle.)

Well, thank goodness for ambition. Also, thank goodness for attentive readers, for without them I might not have been alerted to the existence of a bike that may rival "The Riddle" in terms of sheer conceptual brilliance. I now bring you "Trail of Tears 2k8:"

In the owner's own words, this bicycle is a "commentary on both moving away from a metropolitan area of Florida to rural New Mexico after graduation, as well as the similarities shared between fixed gears, and native American art in the sense that something that at one point was used for a very specific reason is now grown to the point of being so mainstream that is is almost kitschy, ie. Dreamcatchers!"

In addition to an integrated dreamcatcher it has moccasin toe clips:

Assuming this is not an elaborate hoax, this bicycle was actually displayed in a gallery somewhere. I also find it interesting and inspiring that both the owner of "The Riddle" and the owner of "Trail of Tears 2K8" hail from Florida, where it would appear that the heat is boiling people's brains and driving them to a frothy state of advanced creativity which is bordering on insanity. Still, though, I think "The Riddle" reigns supreme, for no other reason than the fact that the owner spared no expense nor kowtowed to any deadlines, self-imposed or otherwise. On the other hand, the owner of "Trail of Tears 2K8" admits that "there were other additions i wanted to make to it such as the Saddle and respoking the wheels with bead designs but alas time was against me." For shame, owner of "Trail of Tears 2K8." For shame.

Still, though, kudos to the owner for building a bicycle that will surely be an inspiration to many as well as an affront to any Native Americans who may see it. I am looking forward to his next project, which I hear will evoke the Jewish diaspora and will also feature a top-tube tallis and bars wrapped in teffilin.

But you don't have to go to an art gallery to see a brilliantly executed fixed-gear. Sometimes you see them on the street. Following is a bicycle which was photographed on the streets of Chicago by courier Kyle Goodmaster after being alerted to it by his friend Kris. (By the way, Kyle asked me to say "Sup...Kyle Goodmaster and Kris King own Chicago," and pending any evidence the contrary I have no problem with that. So, "Sup...Kyle Goodmaster and Kris King own Chicago." Take that, Abe Froman.)

I realize the angles of the photographs are a bit disorienting, but the photographer is a courier so I wouldn't be surprised if there were intoxicants involved. Also, BMCs have inherently disorienting angles in and of themselves. Together, it's enough to turn your stomach. (Especially when you're a bit hung over--trust me.) From any angle though it's clear that we're looking at one of the most excessive fixed-gear conversions ever assembled. From the BMC frame to the Zero Gravity brakes to the Record carbon levers, it's the very antithesis of the street bike.

Of course, when you're pushing this much high-end stuff you don't want your bike to get stolen, so you lock it carefully:

Oh yeah, that's not going anywhere.

Finally, I'd just like to take a moment to acknowledge another milestone. I've actually been translated into Italian, which is a beautiful language widely spoken on the Italian peninsula:



I'll be completely honest with you--I don't speak Italian and I have no idea what this website is about. But I was flattered someone wanted to take the time to do a translation. Also, since I don't speak Italian I can't vouch for the translation's accuracy. However, I did take a moment to run it through an online translator:

Lately I have received some comments a po' acids, type this: " You take in turn the doctors, the dentists and the lawyers because often they have of the bici to fixed release. But if you are truly a purista of the bicycle, because instead writing you do not go to pedalare? ". This tizio is mistaken? Certainly. Escapes the kernel of the issue? Decidedly. It has a twisted mind? He is probable. However or, its comment has made me to reflect for some minuteren. Therefore today, instead criticizing, I would want to speak about the nature of the cycling.

That seems about right.