Friday, March 7, 2008

This Just In: I'm Out!

Recently, I negotiated a new contract with myself. While I can't reveal the terms of this contract, I can tell you that I did manage to wrangle some extra vacation time as part of my package. So I'll be cashing some of that in next week. Consider it a week-long "Snobbatical." I will resume regular updates on Monday, March 17th.

But rest assured, I will not be idle during this time. I'll be taking the blog in for extensive wind tunnel testing, as celebrity cycling coach Chris Carmichael informs me that I might benefit from a more aerodynamic font. And this blog is about one thing: results!

If you find yourself bummed out during my absence, I suggest you go here. Or, just curl up in front of the Snobbaticule Log:





As always, thanks for reading. See you on the 17th.

109 comments:

BIGWORM said...

Podium!!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Another stage win?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Damn. I need to learn to type faster.

leroy said...

Oh dear.

Not taken in for questioning, we hope?

Have a good vacation!

Anonymous said...

Hope you don't get waterboarded, good buddy! (Almost podium!)

agentdetroit said...

this is bullshit! i trained to peak next week!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm ... suspiciously sudden vacation. Did the Bike bell ring ? Going undercover against the forces of evil ?

If not, Have a great vacation!

ssobiek83 said...

Damn this is the closest I've ever been

Cameron said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Giles said...

Man, that fire is nice.

Points!

Cameron said...

Oh, friggin' great! My wife and I leave for our honeymoon in OZ on the 15th. That means no Snob for me until April!!!!

That's just not fair!

Anonymous said...

what am I, chopped liver? You think you can just down tools and go on holiday when it suits you? What do you think I pay you not any of my good money for? What am I, the spoilt and pampered pro reader supposed to do without you, my ever willing domestique, to service my every need?
You're fired. Like Michael Ball I don't need you snob. Just you wait, I'm going to write the best bike blog ever. It won;t ever go on holiday. And you can't read it

bikesgonewild said...

...echoing the sentiments of others, snob...something highly suspicious about the timing here...

...gosh, you & cameron both in handcuffs at the same time...at least even if you're guilty you'll get time off for good behavior...

...hell, innocently married or not, cameron's gonna be wearing cuffs for a while...

...snob, enjoy...& cameron, i'm joking, enjoy & best wishes also...

Anonymous said...

fare thee well snob, you will be missed, like a stray sock on laundry day when you have run out of socks except for this one which you find waaaaayyy back in the draw and can't even remember buying or owning or something along those lines. Which would be to say, you wouldn't really be missed much at all except on rare occassions, which wouldn't really be accurate, so perhaps you should just ignore this simile and instead just accept the fact that you will be missed in some capacity by some people in some places

Anonymous said...

it's been a long time since my honeymoon, so I get plenty of use out of stray socks!

pinchfinger said...

Just another Bikesnob Identity Clue (BIC)...Spring Break, friends. Snob's going to FLA to visit his folks.
So long, Snob.

Daniel! said...

Just another Bikesnob Identity Clue (BIC)...Spring Break, friends. Snob's going to FLA to visit his folks.

See, I like to think he's a super-intelligent grade-schooler who doesn't have a computer at home so he can't post during certain holidays.

Anonymous said...

What will those multi-post, long-winded, self-important commenters do while the Snob's away? I fear for their families and fellow employees--Just imagine listening to that stuff in person. Yikes.

Anonymous said...

I thought that Jewish holiday where you lived outside in a temporary structure for a week was in the fall, not the spring.

Anonymous said...

Snob,

You should have a "you spoof bike snob" contest. People could send you entries, then you pick the best ones and have someone post one daily while you are away.

bluejamis said...

I refuse to play the video until you put a screen over that fireplace. Safety first!

Anonymous said...

Gee, thanks a lot, Snob. Are you off to the Convention for the Perpetually Outraged in Des Moines next week? Guess I'm headed back to the ratemycameltoe website for a week or so.

Anonymous said...

Like a tubular glue sniffing addict after an intervention... the cold sweats, the dizzying highs, the halucinations, the terrifying lows, you will be jonesed for in your absence.
c'mon man, just one more snide comment...

David Flynn said...

peace snob, have fun broing down with michael ball in cancun

Anonymous said...

6:05, very accurate and very funny.

Anonymous said...

Bike o' the week...

Anonymous said...

Damn! I knew I should have bought Ross stock.

Anonymous said...

What will be the RossDex on Ebay?

JimmyNick said...

It's getting chilly. Throw another blog on the fire.

bikesgonewild said...

...ok, jimmynick...that really is funny, props to ya!!!...

Boots and Saddles said...

no snob... man, what sort of jacked up lenten sacrifice is this right in the home stretch? we may have to rethink the whole jewish snob theory. i think he may be roman.

pdxjenn said...

some sort of warning would have been nice so that we could prepare ourselves for this leave as we had to do during your christmas leave. God, work is going to hate me now that my daily fix has been taken away. great.

but I agree, this is kind of fishy nonetheless, have you been tagged the bike bomber?

mcbstrd said...

after reading yesterday's contributions I could do with a rest .... my laughing muscles were never so severely tested ....

good holiday

Anonymous said...

Something I found that would is worth posting in BikeSnob's absence:

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/mis/599318304.html

Bella said...

1) A cyclist blows up an Armed Forces Recruiting Station.

2) BSNYC finds the letter written by the bomber (or did he write it himself).

3) President Bush steers a blizzrd to shut down traffic making people (especially cyclists) easier to find and create visibility problems.

4) BSNYC goes on a "vacation".

Anyone else think something else is going on here? I smell a conspiracy. I even thought I saw a black helicopter the other day.

xRideVeganx said...

Being in the hospital sucks. Being in the hospital for a shattered arm and no bsnyc is the worst, I won't be able to ride my bike for 3 months, I'm so sad.

bikesgonewild said...

...xrideveganx...

...well, miss anthropic, whether ya like it or not i'm gonna wish ya good luck n' get mo' better soon...
...later...

techb3 said...

i love sitting in front of a nice youtube fire in one window while watching the geraldo/manson interview in another window over and over again. i guess i'll do it every day until the 17th. by the way, are you MAC or PC? im waiting for computersnob.blogspot.com. you could hate on everyone sporting the newest apple equipment. you could make quizzes from photos of people leaving the apple store in soho. you would be great at that. maybe rollerbladesnob? you could talk about how true rollerblading has been tarnished by these aggressive inline skaters. or tennisshoesnob? how shoes were meant for the track and not in boutiques. whitesnob? blacksnob? jewsnob?gentilesnob? homosexualsnob? straightsnob?...it doesnt really matter. there will always be two sides. neither is right or wrong. your blog is hilarious from that respect. i think people comment so much on your page for two reasons: 1)they are too scared to voice there own opinion so its easy to side with someone who is so blatantly outspoken. 2)they take what you say so personally because they arent confident enough about what they are doing to take it with a grain of salt. obviously you believe what you write so do the damn thing! peace.

techb3.com

xRideVeganx said...

thank you bikesgoewild :)

Bikeslob 80220 said...

In Bsnyc's absence, worker productivity will rise next week, so buy those index ETF's (QQQQ, SPY, etc). In the mean time check out this sweet fixie on Denver's CL:

http://denver.craigslist.org/bik/600222536.html

$300 for a Miyata covered with pink and green duct tape?

Judi said...

Just another Bikesnob Identity Clue (BIC)...Spring Break, friends. Snob's going to FLA to visit his folks.
So long, Snob.>>>>

***********

Not necessarily Pinchfinger, it could just mean he has kids, and they are on spring break too.

BSNY - have a great week off.

Cameron said...

He's at his team training camp! duh

erik k said...

hey, if you missed it on Tuesday this is probably a good time to check out the BSNYC best of list

ka_jun said...

Dude, is that a top tube pad in the fireplace?

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30200-1307359,00.html

Anonymous said...

I don't know about you guys, but I kinda miss him..

Anonymous said...

bluejamis said...

I refuse to play the video until you put a screen over that fireplace. Safety first!


That's your own responsibility. You need to get an anti-glare screen for your monitor.

Sleepy Head said...

Regarding all this fixed gear alpacalips business...what seal number has to get broken before Nashbar has a closeout on fixie components?

mamsterla said...

I think Carmichael would recommend a Sans-Serif font. Not all those serify bits hanging out to catch the wind.

....dots....DOTS....D.O.T.S....
Oh I see why bikesgonewild likes that...now.

idiotic said...

THIS IS EXCELLENT NEWS!! FOR HILLARY!!!

Anonymous said...

Serifs actually cut down on drag by reducing turbulence.

rmckittr said...

What will I do with all of my free time? Maybe I will try to hook up with Prolly and his entourage and learn some FGFing!

Stuggy said...

Aaaaaaghhhhhhhh! First day without The Snob.

I CAN'T COPE!!!!!!

Patrick said...

this "snobbatical" has motivated me to start working on my own blog. plenty of bike stuff...no snobbery

wishiwasmerckx said...

For want of anything else to do, I believe that I will go back and start adding inane new comments to months-old posts.

broomie said...

I've taken the liberty to start a list of topics to get the sniping going while BSNYC is gone. I'm surpised it hasn't already, but like survivors in a raft, we will soon enough be at each other's throats.

Here's some hot button topics to get everyone's blood up and pass the time.

*elipses and periods; Less is more?
*links that hijack your browser
*anything Prolly is happens to be doing at the moment
*lycra
*fake v. real messengers: Does it matter?
*The Vegan, 3rd wave feminism, cthulhu, recovery rubricon
*Daniel's gay credentials

Andy Pandy said...

Link it together, bike seat girl from last week ( probably added the wrong photo and inserted lusty current object of interest, snaps there), Alpacalypse skin rug , fire a crackling. I reckon the Snobster has gone for an extended dirty weekend

Anonymous said...

In last night's episode of King of the Hill, Hank took on some hipsters trying to overrun his Mexican coworker's neighborhood and won. I found the tone Mike Judge used toward them throughout the episode to be quite humorous. No brakeless fixies, though. If a prime time show is satirizing hipsters, could that be a sign of an even bigger apcoclypse? Maybe Bikesnob saw it coming and headed for the hills.

Anonymous said...

I almost got to see a trendster with metallic gold deep V's eat it crossing some light rail tracks today. Why do they call it the benign indifference of the Universe when nothing that I want to happen ever happens?

Bluenoser said...

Christ people. You can't do things 24/7 you have to take a break sooner or later. If I know the Snob he is out there loosening up the legs and being pack fill. He's cool with that.

-B

Anonymous said...

http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/bik/603448896.html

wherever you are, i hope you're ready cause i think the end is nigh...

Anonymous said...

10:12 + 12:33 gotta be the same hipster....

Anonymous said...

effin weaksauce bsnob

Adam said...

With regards to BIC, let's piece this together:

- Most of his posts come between the hours of 12pm Eastern and 1pm Eastern (lunch time?).

- He takes all major holidays off

- He commutes to work (Mon-Fri) on a bike (the result of a modest income maybe?)

- His spelling and grammar are always polished. Too polished...

- His sarcasm and 'tude is off the charts, indicative of being immersed in a highly sarcastic environment. This skill is not honed around water coolers, folks.

- He's taking spring break off.

Conclusion: BSNYC could very well be a teacher.

Frightening, yes, but plausible. Would also explain the unwillingness to expose identity (like when Gene Simmons was a teacher).

BSNYC will definitely deny this, but his denial may just be a ruse meant to obscure the truth.

The only other reasonable explanation is that BSNYC is gearing up for a critical point in his career, taking the next week off to campaign and win the democratic primary.

Wait a minute.

Oh...My...God...

BSNYC's true identity is...Barack Obama.

Anonymous said...

BNSYC is "Client #8"!!!!!

Anonymous said...

- He commutes to work (Mon-Fri) on a bike (the result of a modest income maybe?)

Don't be a dick. I make tons of money and ride to work year 'round.

Commiecanuk said...

Dudes, it's sooo obvious...BSNYC is Eliot Spitzer's $4300/hr whore. He's outta town to avoid the press.

Kelsey said...

Hey, we haven't heard from Prolly this whole time...

could it be that BSNYC and Prolly are the same person?!

Anonymous said...

The fire is going out!!!! Quickly, more spoke cards and top tube pads.....

Since The Snob has gone, feelings of general bike ownership guilt have receded, but how I miss the self flagenation of reading the blog.

John B in WV said...

day one: All is well, hey maybe I'll actually do some work around here.
Day two: this isn't so bad, why do I read this stuff anyway?
Day three: snob, SNOB I am getting tired of the fire. Surely are things happening out there that require your input. HELP, I need to read the snobness of your blog!!

Adam said...

anonymous,

How about this?

- He commutes to work (Mon-Fri) on a bike (the result of an INCREDIBLY LARGE income maybe?)

Didn't mean to come across as a dick, but lots of people (including myself) bike places to save money. And teachers are pretty underpaid. But I hope my change adequately reflects how people with tons of money commute on a bike year round.


Man, if BSNYC is Prolly... yikes. That would be like the time I found out that the Easter Bunny was actually my dad. I'm still pretty sure that he's Barack Obama though. It only makes sense.

Anonymous said...

anon 9:37a
Why don't you just sign in with your username - Upperclass?! Or just maybe bsnyc is doing Prolly, and you're doing Upperclass

broomie said...

Teachers aren't underpaid. Great bennies. Lots of time off and most of them are incompetent and don't really know how to do anything. Except whine, of course.

Just Kidding!

john b said...

Day Four: Keep your blog we don't need you afterall. Well, okay maybe a little.

I vote that Snob is a teacher. Lots of time off, and this is about the time for Spring Break. This would also imply that he only blogs from his work computer.

leroy said...

Dear Adam:

First, Bike Snob takes a week off.

And now you tell us that the Easter Bunny is your father.

Now I really am traumatized.

I'm going to spend next 10 days in a darkened room, curled in the fetal position and listening to a loop of recorded whale communications.

That will play havoc with the Leroydex.

But really, it's my only hope for regaining some semblance of normalcy in a world turned upside down.

Anonymous said...

what does it sound like if you play whale sounds backwards?!

Anonymous said...

@ anon, 6:46 pm "what does it sound like if you play whale sounds backwards?!"

Monkeys beating off.









No, really.

xRideVeganx said...

Man, I love bsnyc's readers almost as much as snob. I spent 5 days in the hospital since last thursday. 2 days under my parents care, I have 90% nerve damage in my arm, future physical therapy and 20gs in med bills since my medicaid didn't cover the hospital i went to. My parents are getting a divorce after 28 years and the pain pills I take seem to numb emotions as well as my body because I'm happy. All I can bring up is the fact that I deleted my myspace today after 4 years of having it and just like that I have vanished from the radar of every hipster in denver. Wiped clean from their lurking eyes and existance itself. Just as much, I'm going to take to night riding to avoid any type of confrontation with hipsters on bikes. I just want to ride my brakeless track bike on the streets of denver without being eyehumped and judged by every hipster along the way. Maybe it will be like forest gump and ill gain a small fallowing of riders who just want to ride without all the tacky hipster guidelines that fallow. Maybe I'm just bitter that someone stole my spokecard that carried the phrase "I am NOT a courier" on it. Maybe I will just be liberated from the whole steriotype of bikepunk and be the epitome of every hipsters goal by succeeding being the most original and unique through avoiding the scene all together and still manage to carry ideas that hipsters made dirty. Though any hipster from any other state would look at a hipster from denver and roll their eyes because kids here think they are "the shit" but really they have no idea why they got "animal rights" tattooed next to their cog tattoo, and why they wear cinelli cycling caps yet have no components on their bike made by that company or that may be the same for any state. Yes I'm truely sorry for ranting, but I needed to vent somewhere, I've had a world of sh** happen to me in the last month and I can only find comfort in reading bsnyc as well as its readers comments. Thank you. Sorry about grammar and spelling, oxydcodon really messes up a straight edge kid. I leave you with this question: is there any rugged edgy man that rides a bike, wears peacoats and scarves, showers regularly enjoys chai, and indulges in intellectual conversations about a variety of world politics out there?

xRideVeganx said...

Wow, I use that word hipster a lot. It kinda bothers me that I did. Just letting you know I don't hate hipsters, and I'm not generalizing a population. I'm talking about the kids who verbaly use the term hipster to explain the person they are. The kids that claim to be a "hipster," the actions they take and pride they take in putting others down. the last post is directed towards those individuals.

John B said...

Xride, the men you are looking for are out there. We are just already doing the night (secret) rides and following our own path. Early sat morning training rides are my favorite. The nastier the conditions the better, as it helps put the rest of the world in perspective.

Best wishes on your recovery and your search.

gator joe said...

Xride,
Yeah, there are men out there like you are looking for; too bad we are all 54 and live on the east coast.

Anonymous said...

Xride- start racing. It's awesome.

Anonymous said...

A new way to wheel and deal

Seattleites find biking works well as a business vehicle

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/business/354923_bikebusiness14.html

agentdetroit said...

xrideveganx

i'm sorry for your accident. i feel your pain. my wipeout cost $30k, six teeth, two stainless plates, and i'm still on lortab. the men you seek are out there, although we're generally twice your age and live in the midwest. i did live in denver in 1984 however, and i'm still a "punk"...

flickr.com/photos/agentdetroit

jeremy said...

Snob is in Mexico laying low until the Bike Bomber search fizzles out.

xRideVeganx said...

i want to race so bad! i was hoping to make it to the velodrome this season but looks like i wont be going for another 3 months.

Adam said...

Leroy,

Here's a video of the day I found out my father was the Easter Bunny:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPb0po2jzfg

Stay Safe,

Adam

Anonymous said...

BIC:
Maybe Bikesnob is the Pope and Irish?! Had to make it fit with the M-F workweek.

St. Patrick's Day
March 15 *

* Changed by the Roman Catholic Church to avoid conflict with Holy Monday that falls on 3/17.

morgan said...

Xride,

We're not all twice as old as you, unless you're eleven or twelve...but some of us do live on the east coast, and some of us are moving to Oregon. Hurray!

Feel better chum!

Is it Monday after BS returns yet?

Whale songs backwards just sounds like Chicago's "Does Anybody Really Know What Time it is?"

Anonymous said...

Teacher?

According to that font from whence the answers to all questions can be found, wikianswers, spring break for NYC public schools is April 21.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/When_is_spring_break_2008_for_New_York_elementary_schools_and_high_schools

I like the answer though. Private school perhaps?

Anonymous said...

Xride,

Peacoat? Chai? Sounds like those guys are sailing in the Indian Ocean. Might be a tough pedddle...err.... pedal.

So Sorry! Just Kidding!

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

Infidel said...

tap, tap, tap, sigh. how many minutes until he gets back? are we almost there yest? sigh.... this is crap. we need to find snob and duck tape him to his seat forever.

xRideVeganx said...

i was trying to give a classy image, and failed.


yay for typing with one hand!

jimh said...

BSNYC missing March 8-16
Paris-Nice runs March 9-16

Hope you safely descended down the Col du Tanneron today, BSNYC; according to the press it was harrowing!

JimmyNick said...

Anon 1:17:
Indian cycling shorts really DO have a diaper in them.

Yours,

Ipu Anpeeinapeloton

Bikeslob 80220 said...

Jackass Denver CL post of the week:

http://denver.craigslist.org/bik/608165560.html

This seller justifies the aproaching $4.00/gal. gas prices as an excuse to charge $250 (two hundred and fifty dollars) for a green SCHWINN VARSITY. My dad bought me a new green Schwinn Varsity when I was in 7th grade and I think I remember it cost $169in 1982. When I went off to college, he gave me an old Paramount that he rode with his buddies during the 70's bike boom, so it's all good.

Anonymous said...

I don't care. Money is no object. I've GOT to have the speedometer off that Schwinn Varsity!!

SkidMark said...

jimmynick
I read your signature line, "Ipu Anpeeinapeloton" a couple days ago, but I must have read it too fast - I read it as just some normal Indian name. Boy, I'm dense. That is freakin' hilarious!! Thanks.

Patrick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

It's awesome that this ghey ass blog is down for a while.....another bandwidth hog goes lacking.

Anonymous said...

Check your gender usage there patrick.

Patrick said...

anonymous 8:48
duly noted and deleted.
guess i should look at peoples profiles...

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