Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Haulin' Ass (and some furniture): Moving by Bike

I come across a lot of material that underscores the many differences that exist among the various subsets of the cycling population. However, once in awhile I also encounter something inspirational that reaffirms the fact that, as cyclists, we are all a part of a community. And, as this video shows, when that community comes together there's almost no limit to how irritatingly self-righteous we can be.



That's right, Fascist war machine: the forces of gentrification no longer need your fossil fuels to power their relentless march across Brooklyn. When this woman was priced out of her Fort Greene aparment and decided to price someone else out of an apartment in neighboring Crown Heights, she didn't just gas up a U-Haul. Instead, she assembled some friends who also wanted attention and did the whole thing by bike.



This is perhaps the most moving film about moving I've seen since Richard Pryor's "Moving." There are many wonderful moments here, but to me the most inspirational by far is when the fixed-gear rider joins in to move a single plant. Sure, the cynical among you might say that a token effort like this is almost as insulting as actually sitting on the sofa and drinking a Snapple while your friends are moving it, but to me it's a bold statement about how even the smallest effort counts towards making a change.



In fact, as I watched them tenderly working together to secure the plant to the rack, I realized that this beautiful green thing was actually a metaphor for the heart of of our community and the greenness of their endeavor.




Almost as stirring was this image of the moving crew making its way towards Crown Heights, their Cones of Smugness lighting the way. I was touched by the manner in which they shared their labor, much as they will probably come to share the bedbug infestation undoubtedly borne by that futon. (Futons are the public restrooms of the furniture world.)

To me, this procession of fools evoked Ingmar Bergman's "The Seventh Seal," except that they substituted despair with an overblown sense of pride.


But it wasn't all haughtiness and heavy lifting for our protagonists. They also took a break from their labors to rub other people's noses in their accomplishments. Here they stopped to ask a man removing an armful of boxes from the back of a truck if he was moving. If you've ever fallen off your bike and found yourself lying in a pool of your own blood, only to be asked by a passer-by if you've had an accident, you can begin to appreciate the sort of irritation this guy probably felt. To me, the fact that he didn't reply by hurling an end-table at the cameraman speaks volumes about his patience and renews my faith in humanity. Especially when you consider that the cameraman was probably wearing a cone on his head.

So what have we learned? We've learned that it is possible to move your possessions over a short distance without using a motor vehicle. We've also learned that it is that much easier when the weather is in your favor, you've got a bunch of friends who don't have jobs, and your personal politics preclude you from owning bulky items like televisions. But most of all, we've learned that fixed-gears aren't just for riding in self-indulgent videos; they're also useful for transporting plant life in self-indulgent videos.

234 comments:

1 – 200 of 234   Newer›   Newest»
Chunk said...

I see you Arlo Pear!!!

Anonymous said...

First!

Anonymous said...

podium?

Anonymous said...

Yes!!!

Mark said...

where am I?

cwcushman said...

moving sucks enough to begin with, why make it worse?

O'Bama said...

its all me, irish

Jordan said...

There is nothing edgy about a rickshaw.

Anonymous said...

The only thing worse would be a Cone of Smugness with a Seal of Disapproval on it.

Anonymous said...

The background music in the first video is hilarious -- it sounds like circus music. Thanks BSNYC for the amusement.

Anonymous said...

You wanna know who is smug? Me! I made my first podium on my first attempt at a sprint finish. I would like to thank my stupid patella tendon, which has kept my off my bike and out of my running shoes. If it wasn't for that stupid tendon, I would be out riding right now....and relegated to 100th. I guess it has all been worth it, standing just below Chunk and anonymous, who thought he had won the sprint.

Pokey the prostate said...

Yahtzee

Kelsey said...

if they had moved across the country in that sort of procession it might have been worth making a movie about... (with the cones on their heads the whole time of course)

Anonymous said...

Lets see: two trips by what looks like about 10 bikes for two pieces of furniture and misc. stuff for a one bedroom apartment. It took about 3-4 hours. And one of them was a bike made special to haul things (not the fixie with a rack). I agree with the mover with the uhaul, sometimes you just have too much stuff to haul. If they had a two or three bedroom apartment it would have taken all day. Right on about the smugness of the makers of the video snobs, snob!

Anonymous said...

Congrats to Anonymous 12:36 pm !!!

Kungfu Master said...

I don't see anything wrong with this.

Ka_Jun said...

Ahahahaha...Cones of Smugness. I'm going to shine my cone of smugness on people I pass like a 16W HID.

broomie said...

Finally we can refocus our scorn to where it belongs! Away from pros who are really trying to mind their own business what with their doping schedules and all (when was the last time a pro cyclist tried to tell you how you should be living your life or posted a video of themselves on youtube riding around in circles?) and back onto greenie weenies who exhale the stale corruption of smug psychic pollution.

Todd said...

The acrimony is getting tiring. I enjoyed this post about a bicycle move infinitely more.

Anonymous said...

In any eco-cycling venture, in addition to real things like saving gas and getting exercise, well-meaning participants are prone to conjuring up all sorts of other benefits. The girl in the video says that the bike takes up less room on the road than a U-Haul. But 6 bikes, with the trailers, and that girl with one potted plant on the rack, all taking 2 trips--sorry, you can't count reducing traffic as one of your good deeds.

-russ

Anonymous said...

You guys are so harsh and judgmental, kudos to these folks for doing something different and putting it out there.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much fake bikesgonewild for scaring the real bikesgonewild away. It's been so nice to read a post and following commentary without ... ... ... all the time!

I guess it worked!!!

Also, more upperclass!! nothing pisses off people like the rich. I guess you guys need a voice too.

Gaahl of Gorgoroth said...

Jag mötte döden i dag, vi spelade schack

Innovative, creative and edgy? Wow! India is where it friggin AT then!

Cinghiale said...

Hopefully, the guy with the van is moving into her former Fort Greene apartment.

Anonymous said...

It is amazing how many lame anonymous comments there are. Which shows how unoriginal most of the haters are. I figure why not join the group, I am posting as anonymous today for a change.

The Streetfilmers make good stuff to watch whether you like it or lame it. Can't argue that.

mr.complaint said...

d'Accor.

The Seventh Seal of Disapproval.

Reminds me of the olde days of Ecology and Bikeology and, and ... Why I feel a show tune coming on...

http://tinyurl.com/2au8rq

Anonymous said...

Except in India there's so much pollution you'll almost be asphyxiated in the first few minutes.

CustomerService said...

Todd: There are probably 10s of thousands of blogs,websites,community venues and drum circles where you can go and get your good vibe on and discuss sustainable agriculture, hemp underpants,and exchange macrobiotic recipes using free-trade ingredients. This is not one of those places. Acrimony is the commerce of the blog. Love it or leave it.

kurtz433 said...

Jes Schultz - "We can do it. We can all do this. Manpower is the power of our universe....Yeah!"

Elizabeth Press (Interviewer) - "... and Woman Power?"

Jess Schultz - "... and WOMAN POWER!!! Hah, hah, yes..."

Ka_Jun said...

Pssssst. Softride lives.

http://www.cannondalecommunity.com/sketchbook/default.asp?item=298976

Anonymous said...

They probably got the idea from the guy (can't remember his name right now) who attached a couch to the back of a bike and rode his friends around like a La-Z-Boy equipped rickshaw. It was funny until is friend was unable to apply enough brakes going down a hill to overcome gravity and momentum and they crashed into a truck. Brilliant!

Bobby said...

Christopher, Brooklyn's Big Gay Rickshaw Driver is a sitcom just waiting to happen.

Anonymous said...

my buddy just moved across a large Midwestern city all by bike, hes a film maker and he didn't make a movie about it what the fuck I could of had my 15 minutes of shame

Strayhorn said...

Well, I thought for sure that Ye Olde Snobe would lay into the latest threat to the Tour, but I'm actually relieved to see this bit of whimsy instead.

Say, lady, there's a reason everyone in China and Mexico is buying cars and trucks as fast as they can. While toting produce to the market on a bike is romantic to certain sets of Westerners, it's also Really Hard Work.

leroy said...

Dear Anon 12:57 -

More upperclass?

Where have you been?

That was upperclass moving his girl friend.

The market really has slipped.

On an unrelated note, I may have to start deploying multiple ellipses until BGW's return.

Anonymous said...

Rickshaws are "edgie" -- hahahahaha!

As in: Along the edge of the Bay in San Francisco? Perhaps that's where "Brooklyn's Big Gay Rickshaw Driver" learned his trade. They're out there -- just waiting to give you a ride up over those steep hills!

Anonymous said...

WELL DONE! To hell with all the dirty hippies. They're worse even than the yuppies.

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:56 and other "shamers"

Most people here don't seem to have a problem with the moving. It's just the smugness that's hard to stomache. Going out of your way to tell some stranger unloading a Uhaul that weeee're moving by biiiiike is just plain obnoxious. Not to mention presumptuous.

Charles Joseph Whitman said...

Bike Snob:
If this video is representative of the type of folks that you are surrounded by in NYC, it is no wonder that you have sequestered yourself like Howard Hughes, it also explains the Herzog movies. This type of behavior would have me back in the tower before you could say "Cone of Smugness."

agentdetroit said...

no one mentioned that the axle of the trailer is in the wrong spot. it should be in the center of the trailer to balance the load. c'mon people, you're slipping!

anyonymous spell nag said...

Mr. Snob, Sir:
that would be "undoubtedly borne by that futon"

You're welcome

quaffimodo said...

Mentioning Portland in this context was definitely uncalled for. Letle Viride's tuba work on the soundtrack was the only thing that made it watchable.

Anonymous said...

That 2nd self-indulgent video inspired me to go out and skid. Can someone pick up a dozen tires for me?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Spell Nag,

Stupid homonyms.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

Look what Portland started! I've seen that first Portland Bike Move video all over the place.

Anonymous said...

As I have said many times to judgemental non-cyclists about my own transport habits "don't knock it till you try it". A bike move takes the always tedious and process of moving and turns it into a fun event. How much can you haul? Loaded bike sprints? Cargo bike derby? Beers and burros at the end. Get the lemon out of yer maw and try something new every once in a while, bikesnob!

Octopus Magic said...

I'm pretty sure between that triathalon picture, the bike "dancing" video, fixed gear freestylers who are into imitating eastern european bike dancers (the other kind), and the undeniable greenie lameness, cycling as a whole is completely indefensible against any attack by anyone.

I mean even a gay rodeo where you try to put panties on a goat is less irritating.

bikemojo said...

Leroy,

Methinks you have a bit of a mancrush on Upperclass

Anonymous said...

That one guy is pretty funny. If only everyone would stop spending weeks at a time sitting around on the couch watching TV, then we would all have time to move things on bikes. It's just a matter of willpower!

Anonymous said...

all you guys are gay

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:39,

You could be missing the point.
Don't knock WHAT til you try it? Posting self-aggrandizing videos on YouTube?

Anonymous said...

I don't know which video was worse honestly.

Anonymous Spell Nag said...

Snobbie:
You've been watching too many Matt Damon movies. Off of the couch and on to the bike!

leroy said...

Oh honestly Bikemojo, I'm just helping a fellow cyclist through some tough times.

Shucks, you would do the same.

In one of your several personas.

Commiecanuk said...

Anonymous said...
You guys are so harsh and judgmental, kudos to these folks for doing something different and putting it out there.


What's so different about this? We have hundreds of homeless people in our town that do this every day, with their possessions in plastic bags while muttering about the government-Campbell's soup conspiracy.

As for the smugness, c'mon, it's New Yawk, there is no point in doing anything in New Yawk unless you can get in someone's face about it. This was my theory for the high murder rate in the 70s, so many smug a-holes just begging to get shot in the face.

"when you ain't got nuthin', you got nuthin' to move."

B. Dylan

Anonymous said...

Also: My friends who've helped me move don't have time to track down trailer-bikes, let alone make a whole "fun day" out of hauling stuff. They're already doing me a favor by showing up and moving my junk for a couple hours.

-Anon 1:50

Jon is a Typhoon! said...

...

agentdetroit said...

anon 1:45

are you looking for a date?

Todd said...

customerservice:

you're right. it's me, not you guys. i'm unsubscribing to the feed. long live the acrimony. at it's best it is funny as hell.

bonechilling said...

"Manpower is the power of our universe."

Actually, I think the power of our universe is atomic fission.

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with people wanting to have fun and move by bike if they want to?

Some people spend $100 to see a Broadway play.

Some people decide to put some fun into their house move.

Some people are lazy and have nothing better to do then leave comments on a blog.

Anonymous Dylan lyric nag said...

commiecanuk:

try "When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose"

http://www.bobdylan.com/songs/rolling.html

erik k said...

ka_jun thanks for posting that cannondale link, as I was looking at it I kept thinking to myself, this seems like something I seen before and then it hit me, they were ripping off a concept bike from a German company called cube almost to a T

Anonymous said...

Moving is never fun. Not even in a gay rickshaw.

And what were they "putting out there"?

Anonymous said...

uh oh snob the marketers have found a new niche:

Ka_jun said:

Pssssst. Softride lives.

http://www.cannondalecommunity.com/sketchbook/default.asp?item=298976

February 26, 2008 1:06 PM

Anonymous said...

Their slow procession probably slowed enough vehicles that the collective increase of the cars emissions created a greater carbon footprint than if they had just rented a van and did it in one trip.

think about it, if 100 cars spent an extra 5 minutes in traffic waiting for these bufoons then that is an extra 500 minutes of emissions where as it would have taken maybe 30 minutes to make the trek in a van and not impede traffic flow.

silly hippies.

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with people wanting to have fun and move by bike if they want to?

Nothing at all.

And what's wrong with mocking those people when they get all smug about their exploits?

broomie said...

Anon 2:04

Nothing is wrong with having fun and moving by bike. Holding up traffic and rubbing somebody's face in "your fun" is the problem. Post a video of yourself going to a play and we'd be happy to dish on that too.

Besides these fools are here so we may amuse ourselves by pointing our finger and going, "ha-ha". It is just one big circle jerk of happy acrimony.

Oh and I beleive stars generate their energy through fusion not fission.
nyahh...ha-ha

Anonymous said...

Man power, woman power... how about flower power?

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

i think bike snob proves that it's so much easier to sit and snark rather than do something constructive.

JackH said...

Always love the way you talk about areas of New York like everyone knows what you are talking about.

But I'm just a poor kid from Harehills who looks up towards Oakwell dreaming about that mansion on a hill in Roundhay.

leroy said...

Anon 2:39 PM --

Right you are! We should use this opportunity to think deep thoughts and contemplate our short-comings.

BSNYC --

As long as Captain Picard is playing Macbeth at BAM, you should consider the not-of-woman-born conundrum posed by the Bard and its implications for adventures in moving and transportation alternatives in Brooklyn.

Does the bearing of a futon bearing bedbugs borne by a woman, but not of woman born, between brownstones bespeak doom?

Or are bloggers’ borne ultimatums an unbearable bourne of consciousness? You know, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing – that sort of thing.

I mean what else is there to talk about? Not to pick nits, but you’ve already answered what rough beast slouches toward Crown Heights to be borne (yet again).

Anon 2:39 --

Happy now?

Anonymous said...

Everybody on fixed gear gallery claims they chop down their riser bars to little stubs in order to slip through traffic. It's a shame those dudes in the UC santa cruz "track bike" video rode around for like 20 minutes with no traffic jams, because they are totally prepared!

datamonkey said...

FYI: I am currently working on a 3 part docu-drama entitled “Wake-Up Call: My Morning Trip to Starbucks.” Part 1 begins with me denying the offer of a double cup for my 20 ounce Americano. The awe struck expression of reverence on the face of the barista is truly eco-inspirational. Part 2 has some gritty footage of me vehemently refusing to even use a cup cozy even after acknowledging that the product contains at least 15% post consumer waste. Unfortunately part of the dialog is obscured here by the guy in back of me mumbling “hurry the fuck-up you moron”, but it’s still quite a poignant exchange. Part 3 climaxes with me asking for Soy milk instead of half&half as a gesture of solidarity with my imprisoned bovine brothas and sistas. The parting shot is of me smugly sipping the fruits of my labor in the heated leather seat of my Subaru Forrester. Its 40 degrees outside, but I’m…sniff…..Warm. I have some final editing to do, but will post when it’s all done.

Jon is a Typhoon! said...

...

KanyonKris said...

Snob, you're bitter and cynical. But I guess I like those traits because I keep reading here every day. ;-)

Now that 2nd video you linked up, ug. I started watching the two dudes riding around and then noticed it was 10 minutes long. Abort. Sorry, but even bored I don't feel like wasting 10 minutes of my life watching that.

caroline said...

hi. i am the one who rode the plant around on moving day. i appreciate all of the media attention. thanks, bike snob.

in reference to this portion of your post:

"To me, the fact that he didn't reply by hurling an end-table at the cameraman speaks volumes about his patience and renews my faith in humanity. Especially when you consider that the cameraman was probably wearing a cone on his head."

it is so easy to make assumptions, and maybe even easier in these anonymous cyber-forums. there is one that bugged me.

so in this case let me just make two important corrections:

1)it was actually a cameraWOMAN who shot this short film. yes, i know. hard to believe. women use video cameras these days too.

2)the cameraWOMAN did not in fact wear a cone on her head.

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:39,

You're also missing the point. What's constructive about smugly accosting some dude who's helping his friend move?

I for one would honestly be impressed if the video JUST showed them moving, and nothing else. Leave out the "we're greener than you" voiceover and the snobula surely wouldn't have even mentioned the video.

-Anon 1:50

McLovin said...

Anonymous said...
What's wrong with people wanting to have fun and move by bike if they want to?
Some people spend $100 to see a Broadway play.


You haven't been to a Broadway play in a while, have you?

Anonymous said...

Caroline, it got really quiet all of a sudden. I think you scared everyone off!

Anonymous said...

Accosting?

What was so accosting about it. It seemed more fun. He had a big smile on his face.

And as for holding up traffic? Don't trucks and cars do that every day on every street?

Eeeps. You snobs are really sensitive Republicans.

Commiecanuk said...

Anonymous Dylan lyric nag said...

commiecanuk:

try "When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose"


Try a sense of humor.
pfft. Hippies.

The Ironic Hippie said...

i think bike snob proves that it's so much easier to sit and snark rather than do something constructive.

Anonymous said...

RE: anon 3:02

The fact that the Uhaul guy responded in a civil manner doesn't negate the annoying behavior of the camera operator.

Commiecanuk said...

so in this case let me just make two important corrections:

1)it was actually a cameraWOMAN who shot this short film. yes, i know. hard to believe. women use video cameras these days too.

2)the cameraWOMAN did not in fact wear a cone on her head.


I find this extremely sexist and offensive, it should read cameraPERSON.

Regardless, congrats to you for proving that WOMEN in 08 can work a video camera, that glass ceiling is finally shattered.

Vote Hillary.

Pete Pete said...

are you ok bikesnob? you've turned into a real dick the past few posts. haha. though prolly pretty much deserved it, this post seemed alot over the top, they seemed like very nice greenie weenies.

Harry Potter said...

Kids, don't try this at home.

http://tinyurl.com/yqhzva

Anonymous said...

commiecanuk,

Don't you mean "humour"?

leroy said...

Caroline --

Thank God you're here!

I've heard that talking to your plants helps them grow.

Does taking them for bike rides also help?

(If the past is prologue, expect the traditional thanks for being a good sport missive from BSNYC shortly.)

BikeSnobNYC said...

Hi Caroline,

Thanks so much for posting! I mistakenly assumed the guy credited as the filmmaker, Nicholas Whitaker, shot it, but I see now if I had paid more attention to the credits I would have realized he didn't. Sorry for the mistake.

Well done on the move--I hope the plant is adjusting to its new home.

Ironic Hippie,

You're absolutely right, of course, which is why I do it.

Respectfully,

--BSNYC

xRideVeganx said...

hahaha <3

jeremy said...

I think calling the UC Santa Cruz movie "self-indulgent" is unfair. If you look at the comments on YouTube below the video, the poster graciously gave another fixed-gear rider some tips on how to skid while sitting in the saddle.

On second thought... I can see why you might consider buying a HED wheel for that style of riding when there are people starving in Africa and people moving by bicycle in Brooklyn to be a little self-indulgent.

central dogma said...

Top Form, Good Snob!

Obviously people haven't learned from the San Francisco/South Park/George Clooney acceptance speech Smug storm.

Anonymous said...

If all my stuff was junk I would use a bike brigade as well.

An the smugness is just a cover for the embarrassment of carting this woman's garbage (I mean possessions) around in public.

Anonymous said...

Caroline,

BSNYC made a mistake concerning the gender of the person filming, so you get all text-book snarky-feminist on him. Only turns out his was an innocent mistake, and not sexist after all. At least you proved your point about why you shouldn't make assumptions!

xRideVeganx said...

i smell rotten feminism

no fair

caroline said...

oh anonymous, you sound familiar.
no "text-book snarky-feminist" here.

just a little poking fun of the poking fun.
seemed only fair!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Caroline,

Absolutely, it was more than fair.

--BSNYC

K-Ro said...

"We're moving by bike" Ring-ring-ring. Jesus.

I guess we all contribute in whatever way we can. For example, I pay income tax to the state so that they can help support everyone that wants to be an actor.

Anonymous said...

Caroline,

Well, touche! My humor-detector was thrown off by your mock-anger--the repeated all-caps WOMAN gave me terrifying flashbacks of N.O.W. rallies from my college days.

-Anon 3:41

broomie said...

Ironic Hippie,

Well, Duh.

Anon 3:02,

What makes you think that everyone that hates you is a Republican? Some of us are Indies and a few lean toward Fascism.

Vote Franco

Caroline,

If you don't like being mocked stay home. Otherwise man-up and pipe down.

Nyaa.

Oh yeah and you can soften any attack by saying, "just kidding!" at the end.

Commiecanuk said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

commiecanuk,

Don't you mean "humour"?

If I wrote humour, most would get very confused, like when you ask where the toilet or bathroom is in the US, you get this blank stare...seconds pass, then "oh, the RESTROOM", like I want to 'rest'.

We call them shit closets up here to avoid confusion.

fluffy said...

quick, someone get this man his own youtube video:
http://files.blog-city.com/files/aa/32997/p/f/white_chicks_06_11_6354.gif

for extra credit, can you spot tom ritchey in the picture?

bikerjulio said...

Jack H

Always love the way you talk about areas of New York like everyone knows what you are talking about.

But I'm just a poor kid from Harehills who looks up towards Oakwell dreaming about that mansion on a hill in Roundhay.

Get out of Leeds Jack - it's the only way.

Anonymous said...

Caroline,
thank you for reminding me that WOMEN can also be sanctimonious jerks.

Abe Simpson said...

Caroline...you can work a video camera? what's next? voting? Stay barefoot and pregnant.

Gloria Steinem said...

broomie said...
Caroline,

If you don't like being mocked stay home. Otherwise man-up and pipe down.


This is sexist and offensive, it should say WOMAN-up and vagina down.
Pipe infers a phallus and a symbol of sexist oppression, you misogynistic man-whore.

Anonymous said...

Well, the comments are going downhill now. Better clean it up guys or Mr. Bike Snob will throw us another pop quiz to "help us all put aside our differences and regain our collective focus."

Anonymous said...

Caroline, I enjoyed your video -- keep up the good living.

leroy said...

I dunno, I kinda thought it was obvious that someone willing to ride around Brooklyn with a plant on the back of their bike must have had a sense of humor.

sheriff john bunnell said...

I WONDER WHO WON THIS ALLEYCAT.

Anonymous said...

4:26 - Was just thinking the same thing.

The comments should be capped at 100. But then everybody would post like crazy to make the cut, and there'd be a sprint for the lanterne rouge, and it would all fill up by 2 pm.

I could just stop reading. I mean, I could try to, anyway.

Nicholas Whitaker said...

Yes, Bike Snob thank you for the press and the afternoon worth of affirmation. Caroline, i don't remember feeling smug while dodging trucks parked in the bike lanes, and triple parked cars do you?
I do feel a bit smug now though, the comments on this page make me want to keep doing videos. Such great discourse, such creative stereotyping and insults. Wow, i mean really. I'm glad that you all feel better about yourself and really "stuck it to us" in the comment thread.
Next film will definitely have to be on how to spend the day at your desk job tearing down people with snarky comments on a niche blog so that you can somehow better identify yourself as "in" or better than those dirty hippy/hipsters/feminists/queers/gentrifiers/ or whatever other contemporary off the shelf label you want to slap on someone. I can film one of you guys maybe, and then come back in ten years for a follow up and see where life has taken you.
We can reminisce about how you used to really tear people a new one online. Yeah...those were the days. Enjoy your drive home to Cobble Hill or Willamsburg in your hummers.
Oh.
...just kidding

Anonymous said...

dunno what sheriff john is talking about, but somebody should do a trailer & extracycle alleycat, where instead of getting a card or whatever at the checkpoint you have to pick up, like, a Jennifer Convertibles.

Nicholas Whitaker said...

I'd film that

Anonymous said...

nicholas whitaker

if dodging trucks in the bike lane precludes smugness in all other endeavors, then most of the commenters here can't be held accountable either.

leroy said...

Oh dear.

After reading Mr. Whitaker's post, I somehow feel all dirty.

I'm going to go home and rethink my life.

Shouldn't take but a minute.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Nicholas,

Good to hear from you! I like "niche blog" better than "cycling blog." Sounds more sophisticated.

Keep it up,

--BSNYC

broomie said...

Gloria Steinem,

Where you been? The book club misses you, and its your turn to pick the wine! BTW, whenever you tell me off I feel all sweaty and weird inside.

rowr!

broomie said...

Oh yeah,

I'll vagina down with you anytime, tiger!

Lars Trangent said...

It's nice to see there are only civilized comments/disagreements over on Streetsblog and Streetfilms.

Fine to challenge, but name calling and personal attacks, well that's not cool. But on this blog I guess it is par for the course.

Back to work, 8 minutes left in this lousy day.

Anonymous said...

Dang, Nicholas, you've got easily as much hostility as all the posters here combined!

I think it was the Buddha who said "Be the change you wish to see in the online cycling world."

Nicholas Whitaker said...

My pleasure Bike Snob,
i mean, do you think such ironic and smug people like myself and my friends would frequent just any old blog. No sir, only the best for us. i mean, i need to feel like i belong to a niche group myself you know. How else would i get the motivation to make the films i do?

Anonymous said...

Hey, speaking of off-the-shelf insults, how about them hummer-driving desk-job lackeys from Williamsburg!

Pol Pot said...

Nicholas:
Dude you made a movie about hauling some crap a few miles on a bike and tried to turn into the Kyoto Summit, you deserve all the mocking this blog can dish out. Get over yourself, what you did was not interesting and or important. What's next, a film of you taking a shorter than usual shower to conserve water, or perhaps pics of you and your cronies carrying aluminum cans to the recycling bin; now that's hardcore enviromentalism in action. Mock,Mock,Mock.

Nicholas Whitaker said...

anonymous 4:57,
no no, you got it all wrong. I said just kidding at the end of that post. See... its funny... mock hostility really. I'm as tranquil as Buddhist fixed gear.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how much energy was really saved. Once you calculate the calories burned during this heavy-load three-four hour excursion (keep in mind, this trip was made by several people, not just one) and thus the food needed to be produced, prepared, and eaten to account for all of that, at BEST you're probably saying you replaced an oil energy cost with a slightly smaller food energy cost. Now, if the production and preparation of your food ITSELF contained an oil energy cost (like in harvesting and transporting the food), these... self-satisfied...THINGS... didn't really accomplish anything.

This point stands even if one neglects the fact that moving itself is a minor minor minor minor energy cost even taken on the whole. What percentage of people move in a given year? Over how great distances? For how long are trucks actually running during these trips? Obviously, replacing trucked moving with biked moving is insignificant compared to replacing driven commuting with biked commuting. What great revelation do these people think they came up with? It reminds me of someone who comes up with an additional ingredient to a Waldorf salad. They get all excited and think they've made a huge difference, when in reality they've contributed practically nothing!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous at 5:07 PM

I think they saved money and had fun.

There goes your two paragraph analysis out the window.

Next.

Commiecanuk said...

Nicholas,

Please, make more videos, the internet needs more of this awareness that stuff can be carried on bikes. You are making a huge difference, man, I can see the carbon levels dropping in Manhattan as we speak. And please, continue the response to comments about videotaping your fascinating life and equating those who find this a tremendous wank, to queer-hating Hummer drivers.
Although, from by pedestrian, suburban understanding of you urban sophisticates, queers kinda like hummers...as do we all.

This will affect me as I drive to my 9,500 square foot whale-oil heated home in Cobble Hill in my baby seal oil-burning converted stretch Hummer H1, maybe, just maybe, the wife and kids and I won't go on vacation to Brazil to level 1000 acres of rainforest this year, ...just maybe.

Great video, the sense of accomplishment is richly portrayed, near the end, I could almost smell the patchouli.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 5:07pm,

I'm afraid we're just out of waldorfs.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

Conserving energy in NYC = pissing in the wind

Anonymous said...

Nick,

Eat me.

Anonymous said...

niche expanding?

http://tinyurl.com/2ublmh

Anonymous said...

Bravo for Whitaker's comments.

I like reading Bike Snob's posts but I feel the comments section is taking a dive. Its just like music-- love the band, hate the fans. There is some real ugliness getting started.

BSNYC-- perhaps an outside moderator is in order. Make him or her anonymous and just write your column.

Anna said...

I'm really surprised the fixie rider even had a rack on thier bike. wouldn't that interfere with the aesthetics of that finely tuned machine? i would NEVER put a rack on mine....

Anonymous said...

Nicholas,

Don't be so sure that the demographic you presume to be mocking you is in fact the mindless Williamsburg dude in the Hummer.

Most of us ride bikes and try to reduce our carbon footprints too. We just don't document it, bother the neighbors, or prattle sanctimoniously while doing so.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 5:24,

Having a moderator would only increase this blog's carbon footprint.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

BikesnobNYC you should just stop writing this blog I mean last Monday when you didn't post I got all worried and nervous, you know like most people have a cigarette with coffee well I got you with my coffee and if you took it away I would do quite a bit to try and get it back, if you stop writing or only write randomly, or start another covert blog that only the coolest online cyclists know about then maybe all this comment nonsense will stop?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 5:09,

Considering those two factors weren't mentioned several times as incentives, whereas the environmental ones were, it seems to me that you're pretty vastly missing my point.

Also, I'm sure you thought you shattered my world when you thought (erroneously) that your point nullified my own since maintaining a thought for more than a sentence at a time seems like a great achievement to you. I, on the other hand, wouldn't have cared that much if I had been seriously mistaken about the movers' intent since the time I would have wasted would have instead been spent falling asleep in class, making my professor angry. Thanks for the diversion, BSNYC!

Jon is a Typhoon! said...

...

Perhaps a Parrot said...

thank you bikesnob, you make enduring this lunacy bearable.

Anonymous said...

maintaining a thought for more than a sentence at a time seems like a great achievement to you...the time I would have wasted would have instead been spent falling asleep in class

HA!

Anonymous said...

BSNYC,

if we post anonymous can you see who we really are? I don't have a blog so wouldn't know?

Pol Pot said...

I don't see what all the fuss is about regarding the comments section getting ugly, I mean nobody even called Nicholas a douchebag...seems pretty tame to me.

OpenYourEyes said...

Niche blog readers unite to slam the nouveau-chic no matter where they earned their liberal arts degree from! And now that liberal arts school is over, eight possession having, move by bicycle klan, here is an important thing to recognize: out here, in the real world of grown ups and niche blog readers, your lecture hall insulation is gone! When you do something silly, it will be called as it is- silly. You wanted the attention, and now you're getting it.
Also, even with the worst public school education, I would think you'd know the term "man" does not refer to "those with a penis". It refers to "mankind", the shared race known as "human". So please, for the love of God, do not bring your cute, sophomoric, politically correct crap out on display in a blog that is well known for it's critical deconstruction of the moronic.

Anonymous said...

Wow. OpenYourEyes, is that the Green Tara you have as your icon? Bodhisattva of compassion?

Pol Pot said...

Open Your Eyes:
Amen Brother Amen. I think even the Green Tara would open up a ten pound can of whupass on this weakness.

CustomerService said...

Anon 5:24:
What am I missing? If you like the post and not the comments, then just read the post and not the comments, or is someone holding a gun to your head? If so, mention Burt Ward in your next post and we will send help.

Daniel! said...

How else would i get the motivation to make the films i do?

From utterly mundane, commonplace events: dogs barking in kennels, people looking at a subway map while riding the subway... Noteworthy stuff like that. The kinds of things people should document and celebrate, you know?

erik k said...

someone needs to invent a sarcasm type face, kind of like an italic. That way, when reading a comment on a blog you will understand it in its proper sarcastic context and would there fore prevent endless amounts of misappropriated bickering and would inversely promote more people being pissed of and insulted in a more correctly understood manner

Marios Mother said...

Papa Mario used to be a removalist, like a permanently removed if yooda get my meaning. Da Pappa wanted Mario tio geta into da family buzyness but Mario was too busy slipping da salami into the young senoritas on da futons instead of moving da stuff in. Pappa now just shakes his head and mubbles about da good old daze of hard work ,twelve gauge shotguns and driving his fiat bambino around full to the brim with da funitures honking his horn at da bella senotitas

Anonymous said...

151 comments?!?!
sheesh...must be a topic near and dear to everyone's heart.

Anonymous said...

Just what I was thinking -- Snobby really hit some nerves today!

Anonymous said...

Commiecanuck:
Thanks for the clarification. I thought that the "shit closet" referred to your apartment as a whole, not just a small part of it.

Anonymous said...

Nicholas Whitacre:
For your next project, can you film Commiecanuck in his shit closet?

Anonymous said...

Nicholas Whitacre:
Seriously. You seem to be obsessed with moving, and he will be moving his bowels and all. I'm just sayin...

Anonymous said...

I read every single comment today...you guys are idiots.

Anonymous said...

commiecanuk,

Pass the whale oil. I'm chilled after a long day of clubbing seals.

Short film to follow I'm sure.

-theothercanuk-

Jonathon said...

You haven't see the worst of that effort yet! The following links show not only how to move house by a fleet of bikes but by a load bike as well!http://www.moz.geek.nz/mozbike/see/move-to-frampton-lane/index.html
http://www.moz.geek.nz/mozbike/see/move-to-wyndham-st/index.html

broomie said...

You all seem to be missing the beauty of it all. We can while away the moments haranguing each other over the properness of riding with a plant. We can insult, slur tease an commiserate. At the end noone is hurt and we share a collective curmudgeony orgasm together only to repaet the beautiful cycle the next day (except weekends and holidays, of course)
In the meantime we can all picture a very bitter sounding canuck shitting in his closet.

Anonymous said...

That Nick guy seems like a real douchebag.

Also, that rat-faced vegan hippie chick from Denver.

Just kidding.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 5:50,
While not wanting to speak for anyone else, as a professor I'm very sympathetic to students falling asleep in late-afternoon classes. But if it's an elective, you have only yourself to blame.

Jim said...

Hey all. Sorry to comment so late today, I'm afraid I was at the hospital for most of the day smoking stogies outside the waiting room, waiting to get some x-rays. You see I put the recycling out by the curb for pickup, and was so proud of having fought the battle to save the planet that I separated my shoulder patting myself on the back for having saved Mother Earth from the rest of you gottdamt louse-y Gaia Rapers and your polluting ways.

Honestly, you should fall at my feet and adore me for having single-handedly reversed the global warming trend. Did I tell you I use cloth bags when I go to Whole Foods? I do. Honestly. No Plastic Dolphins were killed in the making of *my* bags. Some people think you need to accept Jesus to be saved, but I think all you need to do is to Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle, and then tell your neighbors about it, and get on their asses real bad if they water their lawns or leave the Christmas... er, the Holiday Lights on at night.

And remember, if it's brown... flush it down. If it's yellow... let it mellow.

Peace out!

Anonymous said...

Commiecanuck:
Now I am confused. You do not actually shit in your closet, do you?

Anonymous said...

Actually, we don't use closets, we use holes chopped in the ice. And in the spring we ship the water off to the States.

-theothercanuk-

the chris a. said...

excuse me, i'd like to comment on the woman not wearing a cone on her head thing.

how can i tell the camera operator is a woman if she isn't wearing her cone?

i get it now- "on this film crew, women don't have to announce they are getting paid less!" hence the smug approach to moving/filming.

also, if we had that sarcasm emoticon, there would be no litmus for inference on the interweb.

chris a.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, that brought a tear to my eye.... then I threw up a little in my mouth.

fakebikesgonewild said...

Personally I miss bikesgonewild and I liked that video. Lots of fun, cute girl, made me smile. More than I can say for all these new posters. It's just too much. I'm outta here.


last post

Fendergal said...

I'm glad Bikesnob took aim at these righteous brats. But where were they when they were really needed? This past weekend, I helped move someone from Philly to Riverdale, and I'd really like to see these kids making runs on the Turnpike.

Anonymous said...

Nicholas, were you wearing a cone on your head when you typed that?

Anonymous said...

Yaaawwwwwnnnnn.

So what.

I moved myself from Queens to Bronx a while back using a bike & no one made a video (nor did I want one). Plus I had the good sense to use a bike with gears to haul me, my stuff, and a trailer over the bridges back & forth several times. And that was as I was quitting one job and starting another.

Anonymous said...

C'mon Snob! You're grasping at straws here. Sure, the Prolly crew is gay and worthy fodder for our entertainment, but this moving endeavor is something: it's actually constructive, and maybe even cool. Riding your bike is cool; commuting by bike is cool; hell, moving by bike seems to me to be pretty cool. You have to have some arrogance, some hubris, to film yourself doing these things, just as you must have some hubris to publish your thoughts on the internet. But we all have this kind of pride inside, so we should be easily forgiven for that. I think if you're able to channel it into something worthwhile or entertaining, then it's okay. This group did it; you usually do. Buck up, Johnny! You'll do better next time.

Anonymous said...

Lars Trangent,
Streetsblog civil? Only if you never challenge the accepted orthodoxy there. Try showing some well researched statistics about cyclists and bike crashes which don't show motorists as 100% at fault 100% of the time and watch the civility disappear faster than a fixie rider trying to climb a steep hill.

Anonymous said...

We already did this in Minneapolis.

And for shame. At least someone's doing something besides commuting. I guess that's too much though.

Usually I'm a fan. -1, BSNYC.

http://tinyurl.com/3xptxe

Anonymous said...

fakebikesgonewild,

nobody cares, goodbye.

Anonymous said...

Hey Wondersmugs,

I'm moving from Honolulu to El Paso. I'll pay to see ride that if only to see your sorry asses sink for good in 15,000 feet of water.

just kidding caroline

mangina

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 10:18 pm:

Thanks for the great video:

http://tinyurl.com/3xptxe

Interesting and educational. Now I'm going to keep my eyes open for a second-hand trailer.

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

In the past, weak posts were buttressed by fun comments. Now that the comments are deteriorating, even good posts are starting to seem uninspired.

Cecil B. Demille said...

Anon 10:18 pm.
You really ought to get together with Mr. Whitaker and work out a collabo, you guys both share an uncanny grasp of the obvious. My only hope that is one of you is majoring in film, cause this shit has just got to make it to the big screen. I mean an event as monumental as moving a relatively small amount of stuff a fairly short distance in pretty good weather on bikes is just too big an idea to captured on YouTube. Two visionaries existing at the same time, we are truly blessed.

Chris said...

Wow guys. It only took them three hours. It's amazing what you can do with massive amounts of free labor. Maybe they should also bike-build a pyramid or bike-pick cotton. My god, maybe I'll even put a cog on my seder plate this passover.

Nicholas Whitaker said...

Hey everyone,
Sorry to miss all the fun for the last few hours. Looks like you were all hard at work without me though.
A few things to wrap up..I do have other "self righteous" videos to make so...

Anonymous 5:01,
You know your right, i was out of line with the hummer comment. I'm sure you all drive totally un-hip and not at all fashionable 12 speed huffys.

no i don't wear a cone on my head while typing, only while reading or taking a dump.

yes, i am (an i'm sorry someone beat me to it) a douchebag. I'll be the first to admit that. Um, what else... ah yes.. i will totally film you crapping, i'll put it along with my ironic and self aggrandizing videos of me getting kicked in the balls by a non douchebag blog commenter... the the Honolulu movers, let us know when you'll be moving and we will bring out the paddle boats... Also people... if your going to insist on saying that we were looking for fame, have the decency to spell our names right.
Stay tuned for my next installment of videos, straight from your own requests: Shitting in a shitbox, dog kennel fun in black and white and lost tourists looking at MTA signs. There will be a bonus scene with that one where i show them how to be a hater on a niche blog of their choice.
thanks for the entertainment folks. Ride safe.

Nicholas Whitaker said...

and anonymous 10:18, great video man. I'll totally team up with you, looks like we did both go to film school.
lets organize a Minneapolis to Brooklyn move

Anonymous said...

nicholas,

i'm thinking bikes, not boats. we're talking drama, excitement here. not too likely to run into anyone else moving their house to harangue enroute except for an alaskan fishing boat carried off in a cyclone or some lost polynesians (not likely... very good navigators). getting through the panama canal and up the rio grande w/o getting shot, or arrested should be a story of its own. condensing it to 10 minutes will be the true challenge, assuming anyone survives of course.

Clayton said...

if you're sensitive to the comments here, you clearly haven't run the gamut of hate that is the internets.

Anonymous said...

Caroline, you look pretty hot in the video.

Anonymous said...

you're back on track bikesnob, thought you had almost jumped the shark.

L'il Abner said...

Caroline-

I agree with 8:01, you do look hot in the video, even though you act all douche-y in print.

L'il A.

Anonymous said...

The Minneapolis bike move would have been improved by the addition of a couple of cones

nicholas whitaker said...

I could lend the Minneapolis crew our cones, but they may be too smug for a midwest crowd.

Schoolie D. said...

Nicholas-

I'm going to shove a cone up your ass, you smug prick.

Just kidding!

Anon 10:18 said...

I didn't make the video, I just helped a friend move.

I must've reached the next level of blogger commenter: being paid attention to by douchebags. I'm so proud!

Maybe you other folks in NYC can stop being jealous douches and do something with your time besides belittle folks who ARE doing something. Video? So what? Self-supporting inspiration, I say.

Hopefully more folks were inspired than were laughing.

Continue with the ribaldry!

Anna said...

Bike movers...I know the type well.
How do you continue to churn out one great piece after the next? I have much respect for the work you do to humble all facets of cycling subculture.

Anonymous said...

:-> = bitingly sarcastic

Anonymous said...

Black jersey!

Gettinthere.

rachael said...

Dear Bikesnob,

Can't we go back to the good old days when you'd make fun of the DOT and people who drive cars? It makes me cry a little when you make fun of bike moving. Especially since I'm moving my couch via cargo bike Saturday morning (I got the idea from seeing this film on streetsblog! Thanks for making this video!)

Anonymous said...

Nicholas,

Eat me.

Just kidding!

Anonymous said...

Now this is sure to become a classic: "Are you moving?"

Reminds me of: "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?"

To which one might reply: "I'm afraid we're just out of poupons."

Snif. Snif.

Anonymous said...

Which one had to haul the car to the new apt?

Anonymous said...

200!!

-theothercanuck-

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