Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #42-#45

Further to yesterday's post, Cameron, proprietor of the nascent Oldtenspeedgallery, donned his welding glasses and created this retina-scalding image:


Erik K also offered this variation, complete with frilly cravat for the cold days:


And should our track bike-liking protagonist wish to add another festively-hued cannon to his arsenal, he'll be pleased to know the perfect one awaits him on Craigslist:


Track bike, Dura Ace, Cinelli, Campagnolo, Concor, Velocity, Razesa 52 - $1200 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/552911728.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-01-26, 10:00PM EST

On hundred percent custom 52cm track bike. Too nice to lock up out of site, I can't ride this bike anymore. I can negotiate parts for people who aren't in the market for a twelve hundred dollar track bike. Dura Ace High Flange hubs laced to pink NMSW (non-machined sidewall) Velocity Deep-v's. The Cog is a hand-beveled 20 tooth EAI track cog. Nickle Plated Uniglyde Chain (THE best chain you can use with a 3/32nd drive train on a track set up) Dura Ace square Taper cranks, with a Rare and beautiful stronglight 54 tooth chain ring. The gear ratio is such that only every other tooth ever uses the chain, so when the chain wears out, you can machine off every other tooth and run a custom skip tooth, pretty neat, huh? The spokes are staight guage, and are threaded into purple anodized nipples. The top of the head tube has been lowered with a tube facer. The headset is Duron needle bearing bye FSA, and looks great. The Cinelli, stem has, I believe 68deg. of drop, making it the Pista Model. The handlebars are Cinelli Pista as well. The Bars are wrapped with brown leather and finished with special Superman colors twine. The Saddle is a white perferated Concor. It has some blue on it from riding in jeans, wich I think looks really beautiful, but will wipe off with a damp sponge. The seatpost is a Campagnolo Aero, maybe Super Record 26.8. It does not come with pedals, but I have some pedals if you don't have your own system and are looking for one. This bike is in excellent mechanical condition, there is some where and a couple of scrapes, the saddle is nearly new, but has a small tear on the rear edge. More photo's with serious inquiry. The first photo's are for reference and my have a different set up, the four hosted here are current taken right now. But since they are not the best pics, I'm giving you some better ones for reference. <


Pink rims, purple nipples, leather, and jean stains? Is this a bike or a porn starlet? It's even had a bad nose job in the form of a head-tube shortening. Somewhere under all this crap is the innocent Midwestern girl who stepped off that Greyhound bus in the Valley all those years ago, but I fear she may be too far gone to bring her back. I admit I'm confused by the part about how he's not able to ride the bike anymore because it's too nice to lock outside. You know, it is possible to enjoy a bicycle without leaving it out. Then again, thanks to messenger chic even locking your bike up has become trendy, and bringing your bike inside with you can cost you precious street cred these days. I also admit that I'm completely baffled by the part about the custom skip-tooth. Is it somehow desirable now to make your bike look like it's suffering from scurvy?

Vittoria Zaffiro II All White Tires Non NJS / Track - $85 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/552032717.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-01-26, 2:43AM EST

Vittoria Zaffiro II All White Tires - $85 Shipped 700x23 Clincher Only available in Japan!!!

Just because something's only available in Japan doesn't mean you should want it. You know what else is only available in Japan? Whale meat. I have a feeling I know who's behind this particular tire-smuggling operation, and I only hope he's not flying in a bunch of awkwardly-walking, extremely uncomfortable mules from Tokyo in order to get them.

RE: Vittoria Zaffiro II All White Tires Non NJS / Track - $85 - $13 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/553111461.html]
Reply to: [deleted] Date: 2008-01-27, 3:40AM EST

don't buy these just cause they are white and compliment your white kashimax saddle/aerospokes/mesengerbag/anodized parts. They are the cheapest tires that vittoria makes.
http://aebike.com/page.cfm?action=details&PageID=30&SKU=TR3444 SCHWINN

While I appreciate the poster's attempt to inject some common sense into Craigslist, it's kind of like trying to purify the Gowanus with a chlorine tablet. Plus, if you're considering these tires, everything the poster points out above is a selling point. And $85 is still cheaper and more comfortable than flying to Tokyo and secreting a bike's worth of cheap silica back to New York in a body cavity.

PARAMONT FIXTY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - $550 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/bik/549028843.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-01-23, 2:12PM EST

This is a schwinn paramont road bike frame with 105 shimano cranks, sealed bottom bracket, weinman lp18 double walled rims, sealed bearing high flange hubs, dt stainless spokes, hutchinson flash tires, nitto bars, 105 front brake only with vintage shimano lever, tioga prestige cromo tbone stem. I built this bike last summer rode it for less than 300 miles and have decided it would probably be better for my bad knees to get somthing with gears. The bike is sick though. I find that road frames converted to fixed gear track bikes have such great personality. They also seam to feel a bit smoother over bumps compared to true the track frames I have owned. Any questions call Rick at [deleted] or during the day [deleted]. I am firm on this price so please don't send me some low ball offer. I know this bikes worth. This is a hand made steel frame after all. The frame is a 62cm from center to top.

He knows the bike's worth but he doesn't know the bike's name. "Paramont Fixty" sounds like a character in "The Pickwick Papers." The bike is indeed "sick," and it needs some derailleurs and shifters to make it better again.