Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #42-#45

Further to yesterday's post, Cameron, proprietor of the nascent Oldtenspeedgallery, donned his welding glasses and created this retina-scalding image:


Erik K also offered this variation, complete with frilly cravat for the cold days:


And should our track bike-liking protagonist wish to add another festively-hued cannon to his arsenal, he'll be pleased to know the perfect one awaits him on Craigslist:


Track bike, Dura Ace, Cinelli, Campagnolo, Concor, Velocity, Razesa 52 - $1200 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/552911728.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-01-26, 10:00PM EST

On hundred percent custom 52cm track bike. Too nice to lock up out of site, I can't ride this bike anymore. I can negotiate parts for people who aren't in the market for a twelve hundred dollar track bike. Dura Ace High Flange hubs laced to pink NMSW (non-machined sidewall) Velocity Deep-v's. The Cog is a hand-beveled 20 tooth EAI track cog. Nickle Plated Uniglyde Chain (THE best chain you can use with a 3/32nd drive train on a track set up) Dura Ace square Taper cranks, with a Rare and beautiful stronglight 54 tooth chain ring. The gear ratio is such that only every other tooth ever uses the chain, so when the chain wears out, you can machine off every other tooth and run a custom skip tooth, pretty neat, huh? The spokes are staight guage, and are threaded into purple anodized nipples. The top of the head tube has been lowered with a tube facer. The headset is Duron needle bearing bye FSA, and looks great. The Cinelli, stem has, I believe 68deg. of drop, making it the Pista Model. The handlebars are Cinelli Pista as well. The Bars are wrapped with brown leather and finished with special Superman colors twine. The Saddle is a white perferated Concor. It has some blue on it from riding in jeans, wich I think looks really beautiful, but will wipe off with a damp sponge. The seatpost is a Campagnolo Aero, maybe Super Record 26.8. It does not come with pedals, but I have some pedals if you don't have your own system and are looking for one. This bike is in excellent mechanical condition, there is some where and a couple of scrapes, the saddle is nearly new, but has a small tear on the rear edge. More photo's with serious inquiry. The first photo's are for reference and my have a different set up, the four hosted here are current taken right now. But since they are not the best pics, I'm giving you some better ones for reference. <


Pink rims, purple nipples, leather, and jean stains? Is this a bike or a porn starlet? It's even had a bad nose job in the form of a head-tube shortening. Somewhere under all this crap is the innocent Midwestern girl who stepped off that Greyhound bus in the Valley all those years ago, but I fear she may be too far gone to bring her back. I admit I'm confused by the part about how he's not able to ride the bike anymore because it's too nice to lock outside. You know, it is possible to enjoy a bicycle without leaving it out. Then again, thanks to messenger chic even locking your bike up has become trendy, and bringing your bike inside with you can cost you precious street cred these days. I also admit that I'm completely baffled by the part about the custom skip-tooth. Is it somehow desirable now to make your bike look like it's suffering from scurvy?

Vittoria Zaffiro II All White Tires Non NJS / Track - $85 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/552032717.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-01-26, 2:43AM EST

Vittoria Zaffiro II All White Tires - $85 Shipped 700x23 Clincher Only available in Japan!!!



Just because something's only available in Japan doesn't mean you should want it. You know what else is only available in Japan? Whale meat. I have a feeling I know who's behind this particular tire-smuggling operation, and I only hope he's not flying in a bunch of awkwardly-walking, extremely uncomfortable mules from Tokyo in order to get them.


RE: Vittoria Zaffiro II All White Tires Non NJS / Track - $85 - $13 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/553111461.html]
Reply to: [deleted] Date: 2008-01-27, 3:40AM EST

don't buy these just cause they are white and compliment your white kashimax saddle/aerospokes/mesengerbag/anodized parts. They are the cheapest tires that vittoria makes.
http://aebike.com/page.cfm?action=details&PageID=30&SKU=TR3444 SCHWINN

While I appreciate the poster's attempt to inject some common sense into Craigslist, it's kind of like trying to purify the Gowanus with a chlorine tablet. Plus, if you're considering these tires, everything the poster points out above is a selling point. And $85 is still cheaper and more comfortable than flying to Tokyo and secreting a bike's worth of cheap silica back to New York in a body cavity.

PARAMONT FIXTY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - $550 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/bik/549028843.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-01-23, 2:12PM EST

This is a schwinn paramont road bike frame with 105 shimano cranks, sealed bottom bracket, weinman lp18 double walled rims, sealed bearing high flange hubs, dt stainless spokes, hutchinson flash tires, nitto bars, 105 front brake only with vintage shimano lever, tioga prestige cromo tbone stem. I built this bike last summer rode it for less than 300 miles and have decided it would probably be better for my bad knees to get somthing with gears. The bike is sick though. I find that road frames converted to fixed gear track bikes have such great personality. They also seam to feel a bit smoother over bumps compared to true the track frames I have owned. Any questions call Rick at [deleted] or during the day [deleted]. I am firm on this price so please don't send me some low ball offer. I know this bikes worth. This is a hand made steel frame after all. The frame is a 62cm from center to top.

He knows the bike's worth but he doesn't know the bike's name. "Paramont Fixty" sounds like a character in "The Pickwick Papers." The bike is indeed "sick," and it needs some derailleurs and shifters to make it better again.

117 comments:

Dr. Chocolate Donut said...

first place!

Anonymous said...

When did David Millar grow a mousetache?

Polygraf said...

Damn, what can anyone say.

Anonymous said...

podium

ZiP said...

top10

Anonymous said...

Cameron, you're my hero. I was the Anon yesterday who asked for the photoshopping and I was right, I am now in the market for some 20 grit sandpaper for my eyes. Although I'd hate to think that the porn-star was the last visual memory I'll have I just know it's not going to get any better than that! Great work!

Anonymous said...

Cameron, you're my hero. I was the Anon yesterday who asked for the photoshopping and I was right, I am now in the market for some 20 grit sandpaper for my eyes. Although I'd hate to think that the porn-star was the last visual memory I'll have I just know it's not going to get any better than that! Great work!

Anonymous said...

Bunch sprint, but I actually read the article, about the bikes, the fixty and the nipples... poooh the nipples.

Anonymous said...

I really hope that guy with the all white zaffiros will be stuck with 50 of them. Probably thought he'd make a quick buck, but I seriously hope nobody's buying them at that price.
And yeah, I'm just bitter because I would like a pair, but not at $85.

Big Black Shed said...

Is there nothing we can do for that poor Mid-Western girl???

I want to know why his jeans stain????

KanyonKris said...

Another entertaining skewering of some wacked-out bikes.

The pink rims of the first bike clash so badly with the rest of the bike, it's hideous. Sadly, I looked too long and now when I close my eyes I see two thin rings - gaaa! And the half-pint top tube pad makes it look like Will Ferrell in a size small belly shirt.

pinchfinger said...

What in hell is everyone thinking? Cameron, the montage is too much..I'm cracking up. The boots were the final touch!
Bikesnob...the guy said "lock it up out of site" not "outside", or did I read it wrong?

I'm lovin' this week's posts. Back to basics and funny stuff.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Pinchfinger,

You're right of course, but I'm assuming the "out of site" implies outside.

--BSNYC

Jim said...

Thank God that last bike has sealed bearings in the hubs. 'Cuz I had a bike with unsealed bearings once. And I can't begin to tell you all the trouble *that* caused.

So now I only shop for bikes with sealed bearings in the hubs. It's a huge selling point. That's why the guy mentioned the bearings in the ad. 'Cuz not every bike has sealed bearings, or can have sealed bearings. They are *that* special.

Just like the $18 (full retail price) Hutchinson tires, the revolutionary double-wall feature on the rims, and the stainless DT spokes. Not to mention the cheap-ass Nitto bars. You can't get this kind of quality just anywhere!

Anonymous said...

Here's one.
"Check out the top tube, where it's bent, it makes it turn tighter".
Fuck yerah, a bent frame! for 400 bucks!
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/nby/bik/555294877.html

Commiecanuk said...

And $85 is still cheaper and more comfortable than flying to Tokyo and secreting a bike's worth of cheap silica back to New York in a body cavity.

NOW YOU TELL ME. This could have saved a world of hurt.
The big question: why are these tires only available in Japan? Could this have to do with the large-scale civic project to keep Mothra in restraints, using these tires as rubber bands around her wings?

One thinks of the press pictures of Bono giving the Japanese Prime minister an iPod yesterday.

Uh, gee thanks, Bono-san but you do realize we make 127 of these a minute? We basically use them as door stops here. Do they have U2 songs?

Bono: "No, but you can download them."

Bono remains the world's biggest twat in sunglasses, 6 years running.

Jim said...

Thank God that last bike has sealed bearings in the hubs. 'Cuz I had a bike with unsealed bearings once. And I can't begin to tell you all the trouble *that* caused.

So now I only shop for bikes with sealed bearings in the hubs. It's a huge selling point. That's why the guy mentioned the bearings in the ad. 'Cuz not every bike has sealed bearings, or can have sealed bearings. They are *that* special.

Just like the $18 (full retail price) Hutchinson tires, the revolutionary double-wall feature on the rims, and the stainless DT spokes. Not to mention the cheap-ass Nitto bars. You can't get this kind of quality just anywhere!

Commiecanuk said...

On hundred percent custom 52cm track bike. Too nice to lock up out of site, I can't ride this bike anymore.

I'm guessing this has something to do with with bar drop -somewhere close to the front axle. Oh, yes, it looks cool, but you have to figure in the chiropractor fees and surgery to remove that pesky third and fourth lumbar vertebrae.

MSN.NBC.COM said...

HEATH LEGER DEATH UPDATE

Heath Leger is still dead.

THANK YOU

Cameron said...

Hey BSNYC,

Thanks for the Bike Snob Bump.


c

erik k said...

yeah snob thanks for featuring my ridiculous work

gttim said...

I think I am becoming immune to the ads posted on craigslist. Like just one rock of crack, these are not doing it anymore. We need to turn the asshattery up to 11!

mr.complaint said...

Whoa! Brane Freaze Spil Chick! That was more work reading than 10 laps of Soho cobbles.

Razesa?

Out of site, means way cool daddy-o or get out of my yard you little....

That guys saddle isn't a white perferated Concor, but Cameron's is.

Snob - I think that is a Paramont Fixty. They're early Taiwan, fell off back of truck, scratch saddle.

On to the old10speedgalley.com.

Prolly said...

Great photochop job guys!

We did a group buy on those Zaffiros. Got 50 of them for about $24 each. Shipped from Kalavinka.

The rear tire has help up better than my Rubino pros have as well. Don't know why. I do a fair amount of skip stops and skids as well [not into the long skid freestyle shit] but on weekend rides, everyday traffic and commuting, they've held up well.

It's a shame people would pay $90 for them though.

Shamu said...

Hey!!

Free Willy said...

That's great, why don't you just advertise to the whole world that people eat us!

Now people might think it's 'cool' to eat whale!! Dammit!

Commiecanuk said...

Cameron said...

Hey BSNYC,

Thanks for the Bike Snob Bump.

You should see a doctor and get that removed.

freehub said...

so all white vittorias will be all grey vittorias after about a month or so of riding to and from the bar? of course then you'll need to get another pair... maybe this guy has a better business model than one might think.

zaffiros-- the k-swiss of bike tires!

Ka_Jun said...

Damn, some seriously funny shit today.

Eeyore said...

I tell you what, I was in the 'transport' business during the '80s (didn't work any residuals into my contract) and while it paid well, the benefits were horrible. No 401(k)!

Sushi Lover said...

But have you ever tried whale meat?

AnnaZed said...

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/nby/bik/555294877.html

“…..turns tight like a track bike, look closely at pic to see where frame is bent at headset causing it to ride tighter ….”

I thought I was immune to craigslist bs also, but my lord!

“wheels can hit if you don’t know how to ride…”

WTF!

Surely this is one of those joke ads intended to catch the snob’s attention, non?

Evershed said...

when are you going to show us a bike that you approve of? Come on Bikesnobnyc I know there is one out there.

Anonymous said...

Valve stem caps to boot!

Anonymous said...

Eeyore said...

I tell you what, I was in the 'transport' business during the '80s (didn't work any residuals into my contract) and while it paid well, the benefits were horrible. No 401(k)!


If you paying attention to the markets, you might was well wipe yer ass with a 401k anyway.

Poppy said...

Do these people not know they have "bad knees" until they buy track bikes? It sounds like a cop-out to me. Maybe it should read "I can't ride this bike because I've got a huge gear on it not to mention the fact that I'm a pussy and my $250 SWOBO knickers gave me a fungus because I didn't wash them all summer."
I'm suspicious of this excuse since the "fixty" trend seems to be prevalent among young hipsters. Did skateboarding in their previous life cause some sort of ACL injury? Is there a virus present in Stella Artois and PBR that attacks the cartilage n their knees? I really want to know!

Karl Rover said...

Anon 11:39, I was thinking the same thing.

Anonymous said...

That's a Japanese Paramount. Not worth sh*t.

leroy said...

White tires only available in Japan?

Honestly, how gullible do I look?

My daughter's first bike has white tires.

It also has a white seat, white handlebar grips, a nice big bell, and sparkle decals.

The training wheels are black though.

Now that she's outgrown it, I think I'll convert it to a fixed gear.

If I offer it on the Boca Raton Craigslist with a matching white patent leather belt, hip retirees will start a bidding war.

Strayhorn said...

Poppy said: Is there a virus present in Stella Artois and PBR that attacks the cartilage n their knees?

OK, I realize I'm a yahoo from the South and . . . actually, that's the whole point: I'm a redneck and I don't understand why hipsters drink PBR. It's one of the worst beers on the planet.

Even Real Rednecks (tm) don't drink PBR any longer. They drink swill like Miller and Busch because it's cheap. It's a rare Friday I don't find myself in line behind some guy in dirty (loose) jeans with a couple cases of Busch under his arm. In fact, the only place you can find PBR in NC is towns like Chapel Hill where demand from the trustafarians has driven up the price to the level of Duvel.

I mean, WTF?

Bobby said...

I'm still trying to figure out what would be more convenient and cost effective.

Finding someone with the correct equipment to machine off every other tooth of a cog with out damaging the ones you want to leave behind or simply buying a new chain.

Clayton said...

strayhorn: pabst won a BLUE RIBBON. did busch win a blue ribbon? did miller? that's what i thought.

also, i know it's been said, but the [no longer] ironic mustache is one of the most retarded faicial hair trends of the decade.

Dirt Monkey said...

Strayhorn
Where I come from, Portland, PBR IS cheaper than miller or *shudder* any busch product. Most real hipsters here don't actually work, hence making pbr the only choice.
I don't really understand why Steel Reserve never caught on though...

Jim said...

Now that she's outgrown it, I think I'll convert it to a fixed gear.
Leroy - here's the ad copy you asked for.

FS: 16" wheel mixte, sealed bearing low flange hubs, extra 3"mini-wheels, Fischer-Price hucking pedals (no dangerous toe-clips or clipless crap). Flat bars secured w/t exclusive pot metal EZ Strip Bolts, My Little Pony finger bell, white straw handlebar basket (you can only get this color from street vendors outside of Tokyo whorehouses, in Amsterdam or Western Kansas). This bike is *FAST*, you can do amazing skids on these extra hard compound tires, plus it's low enough to stow under your desk at work. Bonus, I'll throw in the pink and silver celluloid streamers that go on the end of the flat bars. $1295 OBO.


Strayhorn - is there an exemption for idiots who could afford better beer, but drink swill? On hot days, for instance, I'd almost always rather have a nice craft brew, but if I'm working outside I pound ice cold High Life, eating crabs I'll swill a Natty Bo, and pound Shiner with chili or barbecue. Shit beer seems to fit some activities/foods. There are also degrees of awfulness. Bud is headache in a can; MGD is bad-but-innoffensive; Busch is watery-but-mostly-non-toxic, and near as I can tell, Keystone doesn't really even qualify as beer. Then there's the sentimental favorites - the stuff you stole from your dad's stash, or got some kid with fake ID to buy you so you could get drunk and throw up on your first girlfriend - we're talking Utica Club, Strohs, Old Milwaukee. They may be bad, but you like the taste 'cuz of the good memories. But PBR, Schlitz, and Matts, on the other hand, are harmful to man and beast and the FDA probably should ban them as adulterated products, a term which means the kind of products most likely to cause adultery among people who live in single wides. Seems like we need a set of Cheap Beer Rules. Too bad the Man Laws Legislature is out of session.

eeyore said...

Anon said,

If you paying attention to the markets, you might was well wipe yer ass with a 401k anyway.

- I'm a donkey, I can't read.

Commiecanuk said...

Jim said:
Bud is headache in a can; MGD is bad-but-innoffensive; Busch is watery-but-mostly-non-toxic, and near as I can tell, Keystone doesn't really even qualify as beer. Then there's the sentimental favorites - the stuff you stole from your dad's stash, or got some kid with fake ID to buy you so you could get drunk and throw up on your first girlfriend - we're talking Utica Club, Strohs, Old Milwaukee.

FUCK THAT SHIT....PABST BLUE RIBBON!!

Clayton said...

anyone ever had genesee cream ale? it's by far the worst beer i've sampled. i've seen it for $3-something for a twelve pack.

Cameron said...

I love my High Life! They don't call it the "Champagne of Beers" for nothing.

Anonymous said...

hey lay off the cheap beer you chumps. we all know it's not as good as good beer, duh, that's why it's cheap. and as far as that stuff goes, carling's black label is by far the best, and comes in a 15-pack. for $8.

p.s. prolly, you seem less arch and condescending. chastened, perhaps?

flabbergasted said...

I just placed my order for the park head tube facer. In addition to shaving grams, my bikes are gonna look dope like the skip tooth.

Karl Rover said...

This 30-second ad makes me want to drink Miller High Life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLl5y9RZI7c

leroy said...

Jim --

Thanks for the ad copy!

Yes, sealed bearings bespeak high quality. Can't stress that enough.

But I will have to explain in the ad that although the bike as pictured has the limited edition white basket, I can't through that in at the low offering price.

Oh, and serious inquiries only, of course.

Anonymous said...

I continue to be impressed with the levels of illiteracy craigslist exposes me to. Thank you
Or
Eye continyou 2 B umpresst with tha leavels ov illlitericy cragslit exboses me too. thanck yu.
M Burdge

Anonymous said...

Evershed, it certainly won't be the Specialized Langster NYC Taxicab Special Edition.

beersnob said...

warsteiner

Anonymous said...

NUMBER 56, BABY!!!!!!!!!

datamonkey said...

I am with Strayhorn, my recent observations from an evening at the world famous Buckhorn bar here in WY would suggest that PBR is no longer resonating with the forward thinking, thourougly modern and culturally relevant 21st century redneck of today. It appears to be Bud or Bush on Tap or Buckhorn beer (local favorite) and Marlboro Reds for the gents, and a neon colored cooler of sorts and Marlboro lite 100's for the ladies. So if you East, West and NorthWest hipsters are trying to gain cred through appropriating the cultural norms of the "Working Man" you may be behind the times, and for god sakes start smoking.

Anonymous said...

anyone ever had genesee cream ale? it's by far the worst beer i've sampled. i've seen it for $3-something for a twelve pack.

Fuck, I'm from Rochester Bro, that's all my dad drank when I was a kid. Genny Screamers.
I brewed a batch of cream ale last year, the worst homebrew I've ever made. Heeeelarious shite beer.

Champs said...

Looks like the bar concept is working its way onto other bikes...

Champs said...

Looks like sawed handlebars are working their way onto other bikes... in spirit.

Cameron said...

Speaking of cheap beer and ugly bikes, the guys up there in Milwaukee are really missing the marketing boat by not getting together for a beer/bike collabo!!

Prolly said...

re: White tires

700c white tires just look nice and to your disbelief, don't readily exist. Mine are still white and saying I don't ride my bike anywhere but to the bar is the "your momma" insult of preschool days...

re:PBR

Speculative posters guessing about this imaginary world called "Hipsterdom" in NYC is almost as amusing as reading what New Yorkers think about "Southern Rednecks"...

[I'm from the South]

re:Hipsters in general
IMO, people who post on a blog are "hip" and "in the know" so....

Fritz said...

Those outfits are so awesome. I gotta get me some to go with my FiXtY bike with the bent frame and sealed bearing hubs.

Commiecanuk said...

Yes Virginia,white tires do exist, and THEY ARE ON THE MIKE'S BALLS ROCK RACING TEAM WOOO...

It took some work after pissing off HED and everyone else, but Mikey manages to source us this sweet ride

Outriggers, white rubber, bar-end aero turbulence buffers, enclosed drivetrain, windtunnel tested, flower tattoos. State of the f-ing art.

Anonymous said...

can someone please explain the skip tooth thing

Cameron said...

"bar-end aero turbulence buffers"
Damn, I didn't think those had made it out of the prototype phase yet!
Those are sweet!

Commiecanuk said...

for those of you who aren't familiar with this brand, it's Italian, pronounced "Bar-bi-ee", founded in 1962 by Giacomo Pasquale Barbie, famous winner of the 1958 Giro di Fungulo.

Factoid: it's sizing goes down to fit most of Mike's employees in Myanmar.

O'Claire said...

That midwestern girl you was a talkin' about might be my sister. Could y'all send her back when you's through with her. Pappy an me shore do miss her.

Anonymous said...

I believe the champ of cheap beer might have been Dawson Ale which was retailing "back in the day" for $4.50/ case. A watery solution that kind of reminded you of Lowenbrau but had more of a sweaty, unwashed Adidas bouquet.

freehub said...

hey prolly, if you ride somewhere other than to and from the bar, then i wasn't talking about you. but from where i live (right next to Zeitgeist here in the Mission), there's lots that do...

bikesgonewild said...

...ah, si, capisco commiecanuck...il giro di fungulo...santo cielo, molto benissimo, grazie, grazie, ciao...

Anonymous said...

Get your own blogs, buttholes -- all you bad spellers and bad comedians and blowhards.

Anonymous said...

Moose Drool Ale from Bozeman, Montana

SkidMark said...

Anon 4:17
I'm with you - no idea what the skip tooth thang is all about!

M_S said...

The end is near.

Behold:
http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/bik/555779685.html

A chrome pista for under 300 dollars.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of bad beer and ill-advised collaborations, I saw a billboard for this riding my bike to work this morning and thought it was a joke until I got to work and googled it.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/skylarprimm/2148829335/


I'll kill the suspense. What crucial flavor does ordinary beer lack, that can be added later to make it absolutely perfect in every way? The correct answer, my friends, is "Clamato."

The frankenbeer that you never knew that you needed has a name, and that name is Chelada.

Just thinking about it is a stomach-turning experience, like watching a bloody car wreck in slow motion. Except instead of blood, there is beer and clamato gushing red everywhere. I think I'm going to be sick....

leroy said...

Dear Anon 5:50 PM --

So a hipster and a Hasidic rabbi walk into a bar and order a PBR and a glass of Mogen David wine.

Nothing unusual about that except they've got two Pistas with pink rims, purple nipples and gold anodized components.

The bartender says "that's cute, where'd you get them?"

The Pistas answer: "In Williamsburg Brooklyn, they got hundreds of 'em."

Thank you.

I'm here 'til Thursday.

Try the veal.

Or the Genny Cream Ale.

Or the Chelada.

Anonymous said...

Saw Clamato on the shelf of my local WalMart Grocery a few weeks ago and had to try it. I literally gagged, and ended up pouring the rest down the drain. No Wu-Tang Tang, that Budweiser Clamato.

Anonymous said...

Oops, Chelada, not Clamato (not that Clamato, clam juice and tomato juice, is any less gross.)
Anon 7:15

Anonymous said...

Here are a few reviews of the results of the previously announced Budweiser/Clamato copulation:


http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/29/37389


Will we never learn the dangers of tampering in god's domain (or campering in Todd's ptomaine for MST3K fans)?

central dogma said...

"Bianchi chrome pista 49'-50'cm (basically new 6mths old) - $275

gotta let it go. look at the flicks.kryptonite lock with keys extra 25bucks. bike refelector 10 bucks. cash only"

a lock WITH keys? nice!

bike reflector for ten bucks? I better jump on that deal.

Michael's Balls said...

Commie Canuck is absolutely right, which surprises me because I thought only steers and people who enjoy alternative lifestyles (and by that I don't mean full sleeve tats) come from Canada, which is pronounced "can-ah-da" and which is the 51st State. Bet you didn't know that, did you? Of course not... fools.

Oh yeah, and the tires of the bikes on my Rook Racing team are so white, the NAACP has asked congress to investigate. Once again, it's the brothers trying to keep the man down. I don't get why this country has to be that way to me, with all I've done for it. Oh well, fuck it. I'm going to buy up all the Levis on the market and force you sorry bastards to wear retro Rook Autocracy white jeans this year, quicker than you can say "that's totally bitchin, dude."

/s
Michael's Balls
HMFIC, Rook Racing,

Anonymous said...

so so so funny...

sprider said...

hahahaha, bent-frame bike spotted by anon 12:02 (http://sfbay.craigslist.org/nby/bik/555294877.html)has been removed from C-list. Did some knocker buy it? Or was the wanker shamed by the power of BSNYC? You be the judge.

mr.complaint said...

Leroy 7:11

Were you watching the clock?

Would you hold roller races at your bar?

spokey dokey said...

At least Chelada isn't openly racist, like Cool Colt. "Hmmm, the colored fella's seem to like the malt liquor, and they seem to like the menthol cigarettes.... I know, we'll make a menthol malt liquor. It'll be bigger than Sisco."

Anonymous said...

lmfao at that first pic. brilliant!

leroy said...

Mr. Complaint --

Roller racing at a Brooklyn watering hole?

Great idea! They've been doing it at the Brooklyn Brewery.

http://www.bikecult.com/works/rollers06.html

Don't know if it's on again this year. (The owner had an horrific family tragedy.)

My view of roller racing is that it's just too difficult. You can't coast.

Unless you take a recumbent and place it facing backwards on a treadmill.

Then you can coast when you need to.

Heck, put the set up within arm's reach of chips, dip, beer and the remote, and you can easily do a century.

I tried explaining that to Fat Cyclist ... but only after he completed his century on rollers.

Anonymous said...

For the record, I LIKE Genny Cream Ale, Moose Drool is from Missoula, not Bozeman, and the best way to combine tomato and beer is a redbeer, involving bloody mary mix and beer in whatever proportions you can stomach.

Chris said...

i drink PBR because they supply it free to many midwestern bicycle events!

Commiecanuk said...

Anonymous said...

Get your own blogs, buttholes -- all you bad spellers and bad comedians and blowhards.


Good to see grade 3 level grammar is not on your list of evils.

Anonymous said...

BTW-While you guys sit on the internet talking trash all day- Flew (the guy with the mustache you are making fun of) has been a working messenger in Copenhagen, Denmark for the last 4-5 years.

JimmyNick said...

Wow. Are we supposed to be sorry now?
Flown will get a real job. In a Queen tribute band.

Chato said...

Glad to see I made Bikesnobnyc for the first time. These white tires are difficult to find and are not readily available since they ARE only available in japan and the hipsters over there eclipse those here locally. The price increase is merely to compensate for the shipping fees. Bikesnob, I saved you a pair, let me know if you want them.

Anonymous said...

Ummm..At your age Jimmynick...I doubt you've never had a mustache! Just saying..No need to pick on someone you dont know and who is a valid part of the cycling/messenger communtity. But i guess thats the beauty of the internet, even people in the middle of nowhere can have a (faceless) voice.

Anonymous said...

"JimmyNick said...

Wow. Are we supposed to be sorry now?
Flown will get a real job. In a Queen tribute band."

I hope he does join a Queen Tribute band! Queen rules!
"Bicycle! Bicycle! Bicycle! I want to ride my bicycle......."

Pornstar Pink said...

Skip Tooth Explained:
http://www.sheldonbrown.com/chain-life.html
So, after every other tooth becomes terribly worn, it can be removed. A good tool to do this with is a dremmel tool or a bench grinder. I have no idea how this changes the efficiency, or if it is actually practical, but since a lot of bike culture involves experimentation and deviation from store-bought stock, it stands to reason that someone will try it, and hopefully let us know how it goes. If I end up doing it first, I'll let you have those results.
Also, when you ride your bike everywhere you go all day long, you will have to lock it up out in the open. It doesn't make a lot of sense to do that with a bike you have a lot invested in in NYC. I've seen bikes locked up with the spokes cut so someone could get the hubs. So it's fine to have a $1200 steed if you're a fareweather rider in spandex with oakley's and powerade, but when you find yourself paying $900 for a live/work in bushwick, riding every place you go, that won't be the bike you take down to your shitty contractor job in Bath Beach. If you can't understand that, you can eat a bag of dicks.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Pornstar Pink,

Right. Because only millionaires have beater bikes.

--BSNYC

Reed said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shoppelifter said...

BSNYC,
I don't understand what you mean when you say
"only millionaires have beater bikes." Did you mean to say sarcastically that "only millionaires have expensive bikes?"
mmm. don't get it. sorry.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Shoppelifter,

Pornstar Pink said "So it's fine to have a $1200 steed if you're a fareweather rider in spandex with oakley's and powerade, but when you find yourself paying $900 for a live/work in bushwick, riding every place you go, that won't be the bike you take down to your shitty contractor job in Bath Beach."

I say it's also fine to have a nice bike for recreational rides or racing as well as a beater bike for commuting, and if you do it doesn't mean you're rich or soft. It describes most cyclists I know regardless of income level and lifestyle. When I said "only millionaires have beater bikes" I was being sarcastic and poking fun at his notion that only rich posers have nice bikes that can't be left outside.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

I once made a comment on the upcoming coolness of old ten speeds, but I had no idea that this pathetic waste of time acutally existed on our wise and noble internet. The Apocalypse will be sporting 10 gears (actually only 7 rings/cogs), the fixed gear phenomenon is only a diversion.

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术+术:可能是唯一有可能冲上2300的同职业组合,天赋一般选用双恶魔法+贼:控制+爆发型,法师的爆发力略胜术士,不过容错性非常小,游戏相似组合还有法+野D,法+暗牧法+法:双冰法控制,综合来说还不错,续战力也存活能力也很强。双奥法的秒杀流一经提出就被喷的面目全非,我本人其实尝试过这个组合,可惜装备只有S2,法伤最多也只能撑到102X(现在能高不少),魔兽队友情况也差不多。这样的组合容错性低的离谱,虽然有10000+HP 400+韧性,但是感觉一被打就瞬间死,而且跑还跑不掉,所以这个打法还是更适合高端副本装,反正一样死很快。组合上还是克死战士队,别和我提盾反,网络游戏那么明显的动画效果能吸到个火冲不错了。网游基本上能够硬顶过我们5秒的职业只有骑士,冰法,盗贼和恶魔SS了。打盗贼队伍,如果是盗贼+看的见,一律先把看的见的OOXX了,双盗贼很难打,2斗篷我们免费网络游戏直接去一人。最后被一个队恶魔SS+骑士卡住了,因为奥法的后续爆发几乎没有,开局秒恶魔SS和骑士都不成功。感觉装备足够猛的话,2000是没问题的,2000以后看能否连好沉默来秒SS了。法伤最好是NOBUFF 1200+以上,最新网游保证秒杀的成功率,可以不用考虑血和韧性,建议装备牛B的法师们平时娱乐使用,非常畅快的战斗贼+暗牧:爆发力非常强的组合,而且他们的视频里很不厚道的最新免费网络游戏吃了金童3场贼+野D:第一赛季闷+盲+消失补闷+飓风的完美控制秒杀型队伍,不过在徽章能解所有控制技能之后容错性大大降低了。

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