Friday, January 25, 2008

And finally...

To mercifully conclude a week replete with bicycles in the service of marketing, I'd like to share one more example by which I've been assaulted lately. Frequent commenter, ellipses enthusiast, and occasional comment section identity theft victim bikesgonewild recently mentioned a Bank of America TV ad in which some putz is followed around by a red road bike. I too have seen these commercials--often, in fact, as I watch TV often. Recently, though, Bank of America figured out my internet browsing habits, and so they've been stalking me online as well. Here's the bike from the internet version of the ad:





Notice how the youngish guy with the middle part is gazing longingly at the red bike in a shop window. The red bike is clearly a symbol of freedom and happiness. However, the red bike is obscured. This means neither the youngish guy nor his middle part can know true freedom and happines without Bank of America's credit card.



Here's the next image. The bike is now in clear focus. Presumably the youngish guy has applied for and received a Bank of America credit card, most likely with an inordinately high credit limit and a correspondingly high APR. Now that he has this card, he may swipe it wantonly through his middle part, and he may purchase freedom and happiness. The ad just repeats itself shortly after this, but presumably if it continued we would see our protagonist riding away contentedly, his bisected hair flopping around Hugh Grantily in the breeze as he heads towards his next purchase.

To me, though, the most interesting thing about the ad is the bike itself. It has been focus-grouped. It's modern, but it has some retro touches. It's geared, but it's spare (note the absence of bottle cages). Basically, it's been designed to appeal to as many cyclists as possible--kind of a cross between Tom Hanks and soylent green.

And it kind of freaks me out.

109 comments:

Pete Pete said...

first is the worst.

andy said...

it doesn't even look like he is looking at the bike in the first pic.

Anonymous said...

podium!

Anonymous said...

4th

falcon said...

almost podium

Clayton said...

hugh grant listens to sufjan

Sprocketboy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sprocketboy said...

"His bisected hair flopping around Hugh Grantily..."

There has to be a Pulitzer Prize in this somewhere.

As to the bike, it has what looks like a kind of Brooks saddle and leather bar tape. Steel is real!

Splic said...

Yesterday I noticed a fixed gear in the background of some Ameritrade commercial or something. I'll try to find it.

sprider said...

What a week, two posts three times! Do I need to go to my computer this weekend?

I like the red bike, do I need to apply for a BOA card to get one?

ruggerknox said...

Soylent Green is people! Never been a big fan of the butt-part. B of A sucks at best. If butt-part's only stumbler between him an eternal bliss is the credit required in purchasing the well grouped bike, well then, his life must be real stupid simple. Darn – looked to deep. The butt-part informs me up front he’s stupid and simple. If we had dog tails, his would be between his legs.

yonk said...

Bike Snob NYC Commenters = focus-group

Matt in Seattle said...

Fortunately I keep a sharpened tuning fork in my pocket...for just such an occasion.

Anonymous said...

i had a dream with you in it last night. we just walked around. thought you would like to know.

leroy said...

Soylent Green is Treks.

Not bad with a little BBQ sauce.

Does anyone know if Recycle A Bicycle does take out?

Matt in Seattle said...

I have been turned down even for the card that you have to put money down first. I guess I'll only be able to afford this for my commute...

[url]http://www.diggy.ca/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/shopping-cart.jpg[/url]

M in S said...

Damn HTML codes.

meh-wee-uhn said...

mmmm, soylent green...

Strayhorn said...

Like sprocketbpy I noticed the Brooks and leather tape along with the steel frame. Given the Shimano brifters instead of downtube shifters, I figure this is either a stock photo that's just old enough to be past the sell-by date or else the photographer knows a retro-rider who cheats by skipping suicide shifters.

It's Friday and I should be at a party. Instead I'm investigating the art on a stupid ad. Jeeze.

bikesgonewild said...

Yankees Suck, Mets Suck, Giants suck, Jets Suck,

That should do it.

baybutt said...

red goes faster

Michael's Balls said...

Commie Canuck... DNF? YOU'RE F***IN FIRED! YOU WERE WARNED!

I fired Andreu, I fired Horner before I even hired him, and I've got a termination notice typed up with Cipo's name on it. I carry it around in my back pocket, just in case. Just in case he actually shows up - and if that happens, he's fired! Let's see how his greasy little eurotrash hairdo bounces and flounces after that. Remember when Kayle Leogrande was crying after getting disqualified in the crit? He was only crying because I fired him for getting DQ'ed, the pussy! But I hired him right back, just to show that I could make him stop crying at will, which he did. You know why HED isn't making my new wheels? Because I made them cry. You know why Lance Armstrong quit racing? Because he knew *I* was coming, to fire him, and he didn't want anybody to see him cry. That whole "cancer" and "testicle" thing was just an enormous UCI marketing conspiracy. I have sources, man. Sources.

So are you crying now Commie Canuck? I bet you are. So I'm re-hiring you effective immediately, just because I want to prove I can make you stop crying at will, you pussy. It's pathetic... I hire you to race in comments, you take second, and then you don't even get a Top 10 in the next race. Jeezus, how are we going to win the comments on TdF Blog this year at this rate?

Hey, what are all you other commenters looking at? In fact, all of you commenters are hired for Rook Racing, effective immediately. I want to see some slambang comments people, or you're all going to be out on the street, looking for homes and looking for work. I don't care if the UCI hates you because you're a bunch of tattooed alternative lifestyle freaks... Rook Racing is about results! The racer who wins the next comment race at Drunk Cyclist gets a gold watch and a pair of Rock & Democratic Republic Jeans. Losers in that race will get fired, plus a whole lot of Ball 3:16, bitches!

/s
Michael's Balls
Rook Racing

Illinoisfrank said...

I'm confused. IS BOA doing lasik? Because it seems that the reward in this ad is that your vision clears up and the alleged hipster dude disappears.

Anonymous said...

it has spokes, but not too many spokes.

Prolly said...

I really like Black Metal. Does anyone else? When I gear Gaahl sing "Wound Upon Wound" off of Ad Majorem Sathanas Gloriam, it makes me want to decapitate people with my blade.

Anonymous said...

Oh, good god--Go to some place where people rhapsodize about crap music & post away.

Bluenoser said...

Ok, Brooks saddle and bar tape, which is not tape. Sora? maybe shifters which could mean triple crank (fred) at least get a compact if you need the gears. And who makes a retro steel frame and then put a sloping top tube on it?

-B

40x14 said...

Duh people, it is the Trek Chinelly Madison GT Sport 2.8.

Matt in Seattle said...

bluenoser:

DA shifters, if you are unable to tell. If you're making a joke, you got my goat. Either way I'm a loser for even posting this...

leroy said...

40x14:

Soylent Red is Treks too.

Michael's Balls:

When it comes to tatoos, does spelling count? The guy I went to didn't have spell check on his needle.

I should have said something. I thought "Born to Loose" didn't look right.

Should I fire myself on principle?

erik k said...

prolly does that mean you like to burn churches?

erik k said...

. . . cauz im thinking of starting a book club

Anonymous said...

did anyone ells notice the posters of bike racers handing in the background... I think they got themselves confused with Bank of Belgium

wool chamois said...

Wow, I didn't know eRichie had attended the product placement seminar at last year's NAHMBS.

Judi said...

Yea 2 posts in 1 day. Thanks BSNY! Makes my 12 hour shift go by faster.

So, you don't like this guys hair? I like the middle part. LOL!!

Have a good weekend!

Anonymous said...

I thought Zach Braff rode a scooter? Maybe even a Vespa!

Anonymous said...

Ever see the michelob ultra commercial with the cyclists?

ruggerknox said...

Dang - just saw a Mentos advertisement and it had the same butt-parted gazer... Euro's know cool. I've got to go - taking my little nephew to his tricycle polo practice.

Anonymous said...

Sprider, in blogspeak, this is called a "triple double."

Anonymous said...

Snobstalkers: "I watch TV often." Each day, a new clue.

Polygraf said...

More annoying was the citibank rewards commercial with the three mountain bikers, one of which is on an invisible bike. It reminds me of a kid named Mitchell who didn't have a bmx but would meet us a at the trails(cunningham park) and bum rides off of each of us to do the jumps, he finally got a pkripper and was the first to nail a tabletop, damn rewards.

meh-wee-uhn said...

Brifters? Really now Strayhorn don't start that shit up again.

leroy said...

I can't believe no one has mentioned the Flo Max ad featuring four gentleman of a certain age heroically hydrating on a group ride.

http://www.4flomax.com/

The Flo Max ad warns unsuspecting cyclists, "If you’re experiencing symptoms such as going often, going urgently, weak stream and frequently waking up at night to go, you could have BPH (also known as enlarged prostate)."

Anyway, I will be handing out leaflets in Williamsburg this weekend recruiting the Fixed Gear Cognoscenti to join me in protesting this latest, shameless commercial exploitation of our radical, in-your-face, anti-the-man bike culture.

Oh sure it starts innocently enough linking bikes and loud music, bikes and cool jeans, and bikes and hoodies and bags.

But it ends with bikes and enlarged prostates or worse: bike seats and erectile dysfunction.

I say, let the real healing begin!

Down with the lucre loving lackeys of Mammon who would co-opt and corrupt our beloved bike culture!

To the barricades!!

Who's with me?

What nobody?

What if we schedule regular bathroom breaks?

Scott said...

Strayhorn,

By "suicide shifters" are you referring to downtube shifters? And if so, why do you call them that?

(Might I remind you that they were the choice of racers for half a century and were still used by many even after the introduction of integrated shifter/brake levers)

Marrock said...

I like how in the commercial the bike follows Butt-Part about, ghostriding along in his wake as he plays at being a patriot by spending money he doesn't have.

You also left out the Volvo commercial where the car is a support vehicle for some grinning roadie chick.

Bluenoser said...

matt in seattle,

I couldn't see the shifters properly, I was crying. michael's balls fired me and the rest of the Canadian team.

All I can say (like any canuk would) is sorry.

-B

fridrix said...

LOL @ Zack Braff! I was thinking the same thing. . . they even got him wearing Garden State colors. Um that's only like five years old now right?

pinchfinger said...

Its not just BoA...has anyone noticed how many ads on TV lately have had either 1) Yoga, or 2) a bike in them? And not just TV...print ads in magazines, in the newspapers. Sheesh.
Nothing like being discovered. And as usual, it will get overdone and ruin the whole damn thing.

Bluenoser said...

Snob,

Is it commenter or commentator? I don't want to be fired twice in the same day.

-B

Karl Rover said...

This is nothing new Snob, I am surprised it bothers you. Look at all the turn of the century poster art from the 1890's using bicycles to sell just about everything. Be thankful that we're getting some recognition. It could be worse, like say frisbee golf.

Hjulcompaniet said...

http://www.hjulcompaniet.com/
new o8 website

Hoss said...

Rumor has it, that this whole BSNYC blog is just a super hush-hush, virulent marketing scheme. Since nobody really pays attention to those fucking pop-up ads, they created you (which is really a small team of Ivy educated, marketing gurus and hollywood scribes) to intelligently guide us into paying them further attention. Utilizing the teams vast amounts of wit and sarcasm, that inherently appeal to the post boomer crowd, is its most effective weapon.

Is it true that the first 5 months of Bike Snob posts were already in the can before this '[ad] blog' went live for the first time. (For the record, that term was just coined here, so take note when Newsweek does an article on the latest marketing/trickery phenomenon in about 4-6 months time.)

I gotta say, "Pretty, Sneaky, Siss..." Now if only this site had a way for me to extend myself even further (financially speaking), then I could go to bed with a sated spirit. Oh wait, all I need is one of those credit cards you nudged me towards.

And yes, 'Hugh Grantily' just officially entered the North American vernacular. Sooo Awesome!!!

Fred's Triple Double Trouble said...

Why the hate on the triple? I mean I have a 12 year old Campy Chorus triple that is running like a champ. Are other cyclists laughing behind my back? I know that technology has improved with the compact double, but come on, is planned obsolescence that cool? My opinion: maintain your equipment until it finally dies while banking the money for a new ride someday. Does having the latest really add that much to the ride, or is it really a misplaced need to be "in" the crowd?

Not poking people in the eye, just seems more sensible to ride it til it dies.

bikesgonewild said...

...I don't care if you ride those suck-ass little deathmachines. We'll use whatever it takes to sell our business.
Just don't get in the way of my fucking Mercedes after my 3 martini lunch.
I hate wasting time on touch-ups.
signed: President
Bank of Amerika...

Bluenoser said...

Triple double means three cream two sugar in your coffee.

Fred's Triple Douple Trouble said...

Further evidence that I'm not "with it", but I think you know what I mean.

I drink my coffee black btw.

Nick said...

"Yesterday I noticed a fixed gear in the background of some Ameritrade commercial or something. I'll try to find it."

Yeah, well today, I saw a fixed gear with bullhorns . . . on a roof rack!

Nick

Nick said...

"suicide shifters"? Puhleese. Crap, I had Campy down tube friction shifters with a five speed freewheel. Never felt "suicidal" using them. Ugh. Sorry, nothing personal, it's just my inner curmudgeon. Seriously, the worked just fine.

Nick

Speedbuggy said...

Why do I suddenly feel sucked into using Bank of America and driving my Toyota suv all up n down the block while listening to Sufjan Stevens on my way to watch latest Hugh Grant romantic comedy after I picked up my shiny new retro road bike.
Somebody throw me a life line before I fucking drown.

Anonymous said...

Here's your line. Just keep pulling...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8JQzDRkPCHE

Anonymous said...

Is this the generation that is now riding Bianchi Pistas with no brakes and hotdog handlebars? Didn't they learn anything from the ambiguously gay Hasselhoff Jr. ?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Qli_U6yyZs0&feature=related

Bobbo said...

cycling, the new yoga? or worse, golf?

Bluenoser said...

I get you Fred. Point taken.

rmckittr said...

I just want to know when bicycles became associated with major purchases and consumerism. Possibly here in the US this is case because so many people buy bicycles, both inexpensive and lavish, only to let them molder in the garage.
We can thank Seven and their ilk for creating the luxury cycling market.

Anonymous said...

Rook Racing, I like that.... a castle - very slow, or a bird that stops all the time to feast on roadkill, or best of all a rip-off.
Team issue wheels are square right?

josh said...

Downtube shifters are not suicide shifters. These are.

Anonymous said...

I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT WEEK OF BSNYC!!!

Speedbuggy said...

cycling, the new yoga? or worse, golf?

Bobbo, I believe that there were major news article rolling around out there stating cycling as the new golf. Lots of business meetings, etc.
I wonder if Primal could make a "Suit n Tie Guy" jersey. D.R.I. cd optional.

TheManMonkey said...

The bike in the ad, and its 5 brothers, are 2007 Specialized Allez Comps. The parts were all stripped from the frames and they were sent to the local painter. Once the F/F were back they were built back up with substitutions by the BofA ad person.

How do I know this you ask. . . I was the service manager in the shop that did the work. The person running the commercial sent someone into the shop to find something that was both modern and classic. For some reason she was drawn to the Spec. For some reason she was also drawn to the Brooks tape and saddles; add that to the need for silver "traditional" bars (random 38cm 3TTTs from the basement) and long stems (135mm 3TTT). Now her vision was complete and my bile was rising.

None of the bikes or parts were vile in and of themselves, but the combination and the firetruck red powdercoat was just obnoxious. I actually refused to be part of such an abomination, so I had trainee wrenches do most of the actual work.

Nick said...

Josh,

Thanks for the Moulton link. That stuff is crazy. And by crazy, I mean cool.

Nick

fred's triple double trouble said...

bluenoser,

I actually do have a pair of sox with "Fred" embroidered on them. I wear them with pride as I cruise on up the road.

not saying upgrades are wrong if that's how you want to spend your money, but with four rugrats to raise and put through parochial school and college, it's certainly not in my future.

thus I had to settle for the socks as an upgrade (and a front brake).

ride hard, ride safe!

central dogma said...

themanmonkey.. that must have been truly annoying.
eew.. ergo handlebars
eeew.. brooks tape on said handlebar

re: ads
there's also that investment firm one that has a road team beating another team up a climb with of course horrible cheesy voiceover.

bikesgonewild said...

...manmonkey...gotta ask...was selling them 6 allez comps actually profitable for yer shop or did they nickel & dime you to death by running you around in circles during prep, which i could see an ad company doing ???...

...centraldogma...re:ads...cheesy, annoying voice-over agreed but the one interesting aspect is that they use the concept of "team racing tactics" to id their product...that means somebody had to 'sell' the cycling tactics idea, first, to the boss & then the client...

...it's still annoying but it's sort of a step up...

bikesgonewild said...

i'm....taking.....a.......grumper.....

justacoolcat said...

What the hell. I'd ride it.

Anonymous said...

another entertaining blog is here
http://caliradocyclist.blogspot.com/

fridrix said...

I want an Allez, a white one. But what are they going to do with all those bikes? And why did they need six? And where can I get some Fred socks?

The Bartender said...

Hoss, you're right. BSNYC works for Google. I'm surprised you figured it out this quickly. Or do I know you? We're gonna get fired for this.

Susan said...

...a cross between Tom Hanks and soylent green

Oh, great. Now I've got to spend the rest of the day wondering what Tom Hanks tastes like. Please NOBODY say "like a box of chocolates."

Anonymous said...

Great, just like Chase, another stupid vapid commercial catering to stupid, bland, soulless white yuppies (notice that this is the demographiic that is always presented). The same sum-sucking yuppies that have turnedmy once beautiful city into....well Cleveland. Should have had this idiot stop at Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts to make it complete. It started with that insulting "Roxie gets her first paycheck" ad a couple of years back with Chase now everyone is forcing more of these dumb yuppie fantasies down our throats. God help us all --- NYC 1609-2008 AD RIP.

themanmonkey said...

-central dogma-
Personally I'm a big Brooks fan and have their saddles on about 40% of my bikes. The bar tape on the other hand is a PITA to wrap so it looks nice, AND it's $100. That two-fer in my book sends me looking for $12 cork.

-bikesgonewild-
Oh. . . no, no, no we made bank on them and they were happy to pay. They needed the multiple bikes because in the TV version they have a group of folks riding them or something. I never saw the commercial myself.

I think we got the BofA gig because we did a bunch of work for "The L-Word" a while before and our name came up. I worked in a shop in Seattle years ago where we did some of this stuff too. Commercial stuff will run you ragged, but they always pay what you ask and the checks never bounce.

Bluenoser said...

fred thriple double.

Maybe you should be looking here.

http://www.fredsociety.com/index.html

central dogma said...

themanmonkey, I've got nothing against brooks saddles or bartape(i'm not vegan nor are they forcing me to buy $100 bar tape). I don't like ergo bars, but nobody is forcing me to buy them either. But the combo of ergo bars and "classic" leather tape, along with super long stems and narrow width handlebars... nice and nonfunctional, all to achieve that marketing pizazz. but whatever, its just a bike, and just a commercial.

Personally, i think that bike needs a top tube protector.

Leoplodus said...

I work in a LBS in Vancouver, BC. We are the shop who built and spec'd the bikes (there were 3 identical bikes) for the commercial. It is a mostly stock Specialized Allez Comp (aluminum frame with carbon seat stay), with a 3T bar and 3T stem, Brooks saddle and Brooks bar tape, Mavic Aksium wheels and custom paint. No focus group involved, just a bunch of shop guys trying to decipher what a bunch of marketing guys wanted....BTW i don't have a TV so i've never seen the ad.

Bluenoser said...

Hold it now. I know I'm just a simple Canadian but I'm getting confused.

Who the hell built this bike. We are now up to eight?

-B

Anonymous said...

???

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/bik/553816589.html

Bianchio Pista fixie single speed bikes - $125
Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-01-27, 4:52PM PST


CUSTOM PISTA - EVERYTHING WORKS - I USED TO BE A BIKE MECHANIC, NOW IM A CAMERA REPAIRMAN - BUT I HAVENT LOST MY SKILLS - I SWEAR I HAVENT -

leopoldus said...

The manmonkey and I were co-workers. I guess he's forgotten there were 3 bikes in total.

Anonymous said...

chrome pista...

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/bik/553930671.html

Bianchi Fixie - $200
Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-01-27, 6:53PM PST


THIS FIXIE ROCKS. FLIPFLOP HUB AND MICHELIN RUM. COME CHECK IT OUT. 200 FIRM

Anonymous said...

Did anybody see the Toyota Sequoia ad on the back of the January 28th issue of Newsweek? It features two guys playing bike polo. One guy is riding a full suspension mt. bike, the other appears to be going brakeless on a fixed gear.

fridrix said...

I want to buy one a them BoA bikes. And I want BoA to lose $ on the deal.

Anonymous said...

I saw an ad, here in Atl, for Ninja Yoga.
No kidding.
I checked consignement shops for used Ninja suits this weekend.
I want to attend one ofthese classes dressed as a Ninja and see if they spot me as a poser!

themanmonkey said...

-Leoplodus-
Damn was there really only 3? My head must have been thinking 6 because of the whole disassembly and reassembly chaos. That or all the snow here is making me crazy.

Commiecanuk said...

Mike's Balls:

Sorry, I was not allowed to start due to my hematocrit levels at 84% and I got into a personal argument with my conjoined fetus twin.

I also misunderstood the memo about getting the tattoos, I read it as get to a tattoo, and thus was in the parking lot with my kilt and sporran practicing my ballet among the swords when Homeland security nabbed me and sent me to Gitmo wherein I am only being referred to as "that Irish bastard".

Also, I'm starting to have issues with these bikes that you were left to source for us.
Xtreme to the max and so forth...

Martin Van Nostrand said...

Anonymous said...

Did anybody see the Toyota Sequoia ad on the back of the January 28th issue of Newsweek? It features two guys playing bike polo. One guy is riding a full suspension mt. bike, the other appears to be going brakeless on a fixed gear.


always good to see a loyal blog reader.

Anonymous said...

At least he wasn't staring through the front window at TRACKSTAR!

Anonymous said...

it looks like my bike more or less, minus the brand name. JESUS i knew i was being watched. IM ONTO YOU GUYS.

LeSabretooth said...

Has anyone mentioned that this ad is lifted from The Red Balloon by Albert Lamorisse, 1956 http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ic8XzBJzsEE And that the white dude is a rated G version of Travis Bickel, the outsider disturbed by and formed by our pro-war, pro-violence society? “Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man...” “Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. “ (Taxi Driver)

James said...

...ellipses enthusiast...damn that's funny.

Anonymous said...

the "built-in theft prevention" busted me up good. thanks!

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criticpapa said...

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by the way im william, mind if i put a link back?
________________________
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The ad just repeats itself shortly after this, but presumably if it continued we would see our protagonist riding away contentedly

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