As New York continues its slow surrender to winter, here a few things that can make you wonder why you continue to live here:
...and in Celcius!
Instead of getting stuck behind a woman talking on her cellphone with a Balducci's bag dangling from her handlebars, you get stuck behind this.
Local retail clothing chain and arch-enemy of tall-bike enthusiasts Brooklyn Industries is having it's annual Holiday Crap-tacular.
The rats dogs are wearing Christmas sweaters.
111 comments:
i wonder if anyone tried to mug him for the tree?
Dang... second.
Podiums are gay, so shut up.
BSNYC, Great post.
turd
podia, dude. podia
rode for 38 miles at 19 degrees up here in Boston this AM.
F*&@'n COLD MAN!
It was so cold the other morning that riding into work I hit a bump, heard a crack, and noticed an immediate "squishy" sensation coming from my saddle.
No, I had not lost control of my bowels, but had shattered the plastic shell of my Arione saddle. Only the rails and cover were holding it together.
It was 20 degrees, I think.
-32.8 F with wind this morning in Winnipeg. So cold the Celsius and Fahrenheit start coming into line...
Lots of folks on bikes today. I sure as shit ain't one of them.
<3
am i reading correctly? negative 32 farenheit? and people are riding?
wow
Let me be the first to say:
Cool 60 deg F, cloudy, light breeze in Burbank, CA
Almost felt a chill while riding this morning just before sunrise.
"Let me be the first to say:
Cool 60 deg F, cloudy, light breeze in Burbank, CA
Almost felt a chill while riding this morning just before sunrise."
WIMP!!!!
that picture with the guy towing the Christmas tree would be allot funnier if it were engulfed in flames
"am i reading correctly? negative 32 farenheit? and people are riding?"
I was thinking that assuming a 15-20 mph "wind" from riding it wouldn't have to get *that* cold to hit a wind chill of -32F. But then I looked at this chart: http://www.mountwashington.com/weather/wind-chill.html
You need an air temp of -5 to -10 to get a 15-20mph wind chill of -32; that's seriously fecking cold.
d00d. where are the floridians? a winter heat wave lulling them into naps?
come on. isn't it like 84° in southern florida? where are you guys?
I love winter riding. Being my first winter riding a road bike, so far I think it rocks, except I need some good glasses/goggles that don't fog up.
Great post Bike Snob.
Wamp Wamp
Dear Bike Snob thank you for the commenting advice, have a great day.
50 Degrees in Atlanta right now. I am expecting my bike ride tomorrow to be in the high 50's to start and high 60's at the end. I might have to wear knickers, toe covers and a vest. Brrrrr!
My best suggestion for glasses that don't fog up is to slide them down your nose so you maintain the protection from road debris but can look over them to actually see - that's what I had to do riding home in 30 F and sleet last night here in St. Louis, MO. I haven't been seeing any of the other cyclists I normally pass on my way to work, though... it's gettin' lonely out there.
I have two of those rat/dogs, and yes, they need sweaters to keep them warm. And if it's Christmas, why can't they show their little puppy-wuppy Christmas spirit too?
It's only 37 here today, but snowing and the altitude makes it hard to breathe.
christ. dog's aren't baby humans.
anyway, the only dog clothing i approve are those little sweater/blankets with the pouches and handles. if you really want your dog to be a fashion accessory, why not get one of these and carry the thing like a purse? put your wallet, keys and iphone in the pouches.
"nyc: winter wonderland of cycling" haha.
true true. it does make you wanna keep your bike in your apartment here though. :( this is unrelated, but here in NYC, it always makes me sad when you see a clean bike on a block each day, then on the third day, a wheel is gone, on the forth day, the other wheel is gone...
LOOK!! DOG PURSE!!.
I have found that sliding my glasses down my nose causes more snot-sickles. Last year I ditched the glasses in lieu of slightly blurry rides. Running fenders helps with the road debris. Without the glasses I used to get watery eyes on decents, but with a fixie my maximum downhill speed is about 25mph. Since I am middle-aged, my eyebrows are getting long and gnarly. Soon I will be able to comb them down in front of my eyes for further protection. I'm thinking of growing a beard.
BSNYC. So when it gets cold and icy, do you bust out the MTB or do you stick with your fixie for urban riding? Just curious...
"it always makes me sad when you see a clean bike on a block each day, then on the third day, a wheel is gone, on the forth day, the other wheel is gone..."
That's hipster art, man. It's a metaphor for the decay of capitalist society.
our critical mass is tonight, it's supposed to snow/wind/freezing rain.
decked out in my winter hipster best:
jeans, tights, socks, three shirts, hoodie, hat, gloves, scarf, arm warmers.
it's going to be awesome!
c'mon Anna skip it, CM does NOTHING good...I mean if a CM ride were 20o cyclists adhering to traffic rules and not sneering at the public they'd be great.
But they are quite the opposite.
Either way, be safe!
I rather like the Christmas tree hauling.
Except I like fake trees better.
All this cold weather reminds me of Futurama.
"At night the temperature gets down to 250 below!"
"Is that...Celcius, or Fahrenheit?"
"Firs' one, then th'other."
Karl Rover,
I'll use the fixed-gear and the cyclocross bike with fenders for urban riding over the winter.
--BSNYC
mr. BikeSnobNYC,
how about investing in a camera that takes focused shots... or maybe some photography classes... or take it easy on the tequilas.
just playin'... Merry Christmas!
Zen on ice, right Bike Snob?
I'm curious to see how many days (hours?) it takes Brooklyn Industries to get their "Bike Culture is Not for Sale" shirts printed.
I love that tall-bike guy "Darko" is a "creative" for Ralph Loren. At least he knows what the "hardcore" folks don't: that he's living at the cutting edge of consumerism, and not participating in real rebellion. That's one irony that hipster culture refuses to embrace.
Bottom line: if yer hip, then yer not, but if yer not, then you are. That makes me hip! I freakin' win!
is that a homemade bsnyc seal of disapproval sticker? did you just find that on a random bike?
Ahh nothing says winter like the flat tire I got yesterday morning at the crest of the Brooklyn Bridge right in view of the time and tempreture sign.
I'm going to search Sheldon Brown's site now. If anybody knows how to rig a heater for a bike, it would be him.
when do we get to see the "bike snob has a posse" stickers? "Obey Snob"? or what about "the snob abides"?
I think I'm gonna smack myself now
To Eric K, "that picture with the guy towing the Christmas tree would be allot[sic] funnier if it were engulfed in flames"
That sentiment is true of virtually any picture. For example: "That picture of the ratdog in the sweather would be much funnier if it were engulfed in flames"
"I'm curious to see how many days (hours?) it takes Brooklyn Industries to get their "Bike Culture is Not for Sale" shirts printed."
HAHA
also, good point on the "cutting edge of consumerism" bit. i like to point out that the dumpster diver's rely on capitalism as much or more than others. i call them capitalism's fungus, though it seems fungus does more good for the world than dumpster divers.
i wish we could suspend "the man" and shut down "the system" for just a month and see how many tall bike scavengers make it through wihout their freshly stocked dumspters.
Paul Soglin the former mayor of Madison WI started a flurry of snow controversy when he blogged that...."The bicyclists who braved the week's second storm should be taken out and shot."
Link
And his original blog post
I love when the weatherman says, "More bad weather ahead," and it turns out to be a nice snowfall.
Cold?
With all the retro merino wool out there, who's cold? LG windstopper gloves. Ahhh. I even have a larger helmet that fits right over my bunny hat.
Hot chocolate, red wine.
Maybe some of those BC riders could send me some nice elk steaks.
And I got a flat last night too.
My only complaint is the yellow ice left by the fashion dawgs. Slippery.
wsk r,
Don't blame the camera or the booze--those crappy shots are all me, baby!
Anonymous 1:28pm,
My sticker, my bike.
--BSNYC
80 degrees and sunny here in central Florida, bitches!
Well, off for my nap, followed by a few rounds of shuffleboard and perhaps waving my cane at them girl-pants-wearing "fixie" hooligans.
Hey people in the southern part of the country -
You better hope I don't get my hands on some surplus napalm. Then it'll be really warm.
In other news, once I get a nice layer of Baconators insulating my body, I'll be ready to handle winter riding in New Hampshire.
TOP 50, MAILLOIT JANUE BABY!
Suprise, suprise its raining and 50 deg here in portland. Watch out for those MAX tracks!
BSNYC,
So that's your bike and sticker? That's not your face on the sticker... is it? Either way, can I have one?
:-o
I want that BSNYC sticker!
to mr.complaint:
I love when the weatherman says, "More bad weather ahead," and it turns out to be a nice snowfall.
Cold?
With all the retro merino wool out there, who's cold? LG windstopper gloves. Ahhh. I even have a larger helmet that fits right over my bunny hat.
Hot chocolate, red wine.
Maybe some of those BC riders could send me some nice elk steaks.
And I got a flat last night too.
My only complaint is the yellow ice left by the fashion dawgs. Slippery.
- - -
Scotch and/or Guiness works well too!
That sentiment is true of virtually any picture. For example: "That picture of the ratdog in the sweather would be much funnier if it were engulfed in flames"
Agreed!
LOL!!
M. Weed,
That's singer/songwriter, Grammy winner, and husband of supermodel Heidi Klum Seal's face. It's the "B" side to the official BSNYC Seal of Disapproval sticker and takes punning to disturbing new depths.
--BSNYC
crazy!
Incredible, I should have seen it coming...
...especially since "Kiss from a Rose" was playing in the Wawa up the street last week and it got implanted in my head for several days. Weird!
Checked the link on the "tall bike window display" debacle. I thought the graffiti actually helped. Gave the window some of that "hipster irony", like "in your face" and all. They should have just left it, then quietly changed out the glass when the display came down. Talk about ignoring a gift horse.
I want a BSNY sticker for my new TT bike! Pleeeeaaaaasssseeee??????
Judi
Seal of Disapproval stickers printed in good old Reno NV! My friend printed them up for you. Long live stickerguy!
weather check: gonna be a sweet inch of virgin snow here in the Hudson Valley. I'm out...
Hey FutureOfAmerica,
I rode home in the STL slushy crapness last night as well. Definitely a thinning of the herd of cyclists though I still see a bunch in the Central West End in the mornings.
"You need an air temp of -5 to -10 to get a 15-20mph wind chill of -32"
It's only -18C = 0F right now (http://www.weatheroffice.gc.ca/city/pages/mb-38_metric_e.html), but the forecast low is -29C = -20F. If it was that cold this morning, you don't need all *that* much wind to get to -32F.
And sure, people still ride. The mail must get through.
Daddo One - what, do you want a cookie?
Aaron - try losing some weight. I found my saddles stopped breaking when I did that. Or you could move.
Mhandsco - just move, you sick puppy. If the Jets could figure out that the answer to the question was "Phoenix," so could you.
Anon :59 - sure the weather's nice in Cali. But then you have to live around Californians. Tough call, between that and frostbite.
Erik K - I think you meant to post that comment at Chunk 666
Judi - I'm saving your comments proclaiming your everlasting love for winter riding, and I'm going to bring them up *after* your first season of doing it, say, March 15th. I admire your optimism and positive attitude, but just between you and me, I'm taking winter, and the points.
Clayton - right on. Dogs aren't baby humans. But they can be made to taste suspiciously like baby cows. I wouldn't try that in this country, however.
GTim - don't forget to carry your spare Tampax on the ride tomorrow with all your fleece kit, Assos bibs, LG gloves, and Lake Winter Boots. It is going to be in the upper 50s, after all. Say, how do you spell the opposite of "Flahute"?
Anna - I'm impressed. CM in the snow and ice? That's *hard* as a bag of hammers. Are you single? If so, I have an idea why...
Daddo One - guess she's not dating you anyhow. Or GTim.
Thomas - sheer genius. Total bonus points for any quote from those rare TV series that were canceled without Ted McGinley's help.
Bikesnob - impeccable taste in winter bikes, mirrors my own except my 'cross bike (the pit bike anyhow) is both fixed & fendered. Not sure if I'm one upping you, or one downing me with that.
Mr. Complaint - That's a plush getup. I bet you're the only road cyclist in the world who sports a DVD player on the bike during your LSD rides, and who actually gains weight during longer races. Just a hunch.
WSK_R - Earnest joined the Army, didn't he? What's earnest doing here?
RyanK, you're my kinda people. Baconators though? I'm guessing you're not from the Jewish part of New Hampshire.
LeRoy - careful about asking Sheldon Brown questions. He only grants three wishes. And you'd damn well better have the wording correct, or there will be consequences. Or am I thinking Jobst Brandt?
MWeed - vaseline will help heal up that palm mark on your forehead, from where you slapped it over the Seal / Supermodel pun. I'm guessing you have a tub of it handy.
Otis - are you a professor of semiotics? If you are, it was just my lucky guess, alright? If you aren't, then no, semiotics has nothing to do with semen. Nothing whatsoever. So don't be angry with me.
Hey, it's all just funnin. Consider the above accumulated snark my version of season's greetings. I get as many laughs from the comments here as from BSNYC's entries. Thanks for giving! If failed to insult you personally, or failed to make you laugh... so sorry. Prolly assures me, you can take it out on him 'cuz he knows how to take a joke, unlike some people.
Happy holidays, all.
jim, i actually have eaten dog, though it was BBQed and soaked in suace, so i can't really compare it to veal.
all i can say is i was deaply offended by your snark and now i hate you.
happy holidays.
...what ???...i haven't posted today so i don't a 'seasons greeting' ???...
...i got contacts, pal, looks like yer gonna get coal in yer christmas stocking AGAIN !!!...
...just sayin'...
As someone living in the warm, southern half of the country, let me be the first to express jealousy. I want snow, I want ice, I want something other than this boring blah crap we've been having for months in Los Angeles. I want a damn off-season where I can go skiing!
jim,
all I can say is that it must feel good to get that off your chest.
bikesgonewild,
You have to live in a place with seasons first.
Snob,
That's a lot of salt, I can see your shower is going to take a beating this winter.
-B
...bikesnob writes this column w/ the "zeal of disapproval"...
...we all eat it up like a "meal of disapproval"...almost like we're on bended "kneel of disapproval"...
...bad girls all want his "feel of disapproval"...so they shout 'snob a hearty "squeal of disapproval"...
...magazines wanna know,what up, how come the "deal of disapproval" ???...you don't feel like the type to be a "heel of disapproval"...
...but bikesnob just rides on, on his "wheel of disapproval...
...my apologies, my therapist sez it can probably be contained w/ massive amounts of both drugs & costly therapy...i'm not so sure...
BGW: "zeal of disapproval"
HAH!
very punny.
BSNYC
I have a headache that's about to blow my brain out my ears so excuse me if I see this wrong...
..but..
...is there no back brake on that bike?
Not on subject but check this:
http://www.instructables.com/id/SpokePOV%3a-LED-Bike-Wheel-Images/
G
Here is Minneapolis is has snowed about 10 inches this week and the only streets that are covered in snow are are the busy streets without bike trails. The wind chill is already about -10F with a temperature of about 4F here and some of us bike all the same. Tonight when the temperature is -4F and the windchill is something like -20F I will hate biking home.
Tonight when the temperature is -4F and the windchill is something like -20F I will hate biking home.
**********
Now that I couldn't do. You're a cowboy.
Judi
... and I'm complaining about 15 degrees celsius! Wuzz! Mind you it's summer in Brisbane! Thinking of you guys in the Northern hemisphere!
...bluenoser...i believe we have two distinct seasons out here on the left coast...
...sometimes you can ride yer bike outside w/ out lights & other times it's dark out there...
...zat count as seasons ???...
Okay I'm a wuss. Haven't ridden to work all week. Excuses, I got a million of 'em.
Love the sticker. Want it. Now. Consumerist desires must be fulfilled!
BSNYC, if you move to CT or NJ, I'll consider it yet another nail in the city's culture coffin. Or would that be "kultcha koffin"? Sorry.
DOG SWEATER CULTURE NOT FOR SALE
bgw,
Yeah I figure that counts. No different from the cycling capital of the world, Holland, where it just goes from sunny and warm to raining and windy.
They call that the winter season. Sure.
-B
vancouver's dipping between being too cold, and nice enough to enjoy not sweating on the way to work.
though the black ice i encountered through an intersection last week has left me with a fat lip, bruised left side and sweet road rash.
anyone have thoughts on riding fixies on icy roads?
Jim said, "Otis - are you a professor of semiotics?"
No, but I did have a Five Man Electrical Band Lp in the 70's. Does that count?
Damn! 82 deg. f today. If it makes you feel better it has rained about 10 inches this week; no power, landslides, and 40 foot waves!
Wait, 40 foot waves rock! Dog (kagagi) is tasty but fatty and stringy even in stew. Now you can't eat just any dog as there's what ya' call "eating dogs", and "petting dogs". Eating dogs kind of look like huuugggge chows w/o so much fur around the neck. They basically sit in these small dog cages, except outside.
Just thought ya'd like to know.
Aloha!
or Ciao!
Mahalo very much.
I noticed a few people mentioned getting flats in the cold. I have Specialized Armadillo tires. I don't get flats. You may also want to pair them with some thick tubes from Pyramid to make extra sure that you don't get something from the rim.
Attn all people in warm climates:
Your weather reports are just annoying. And it is a sign that you are an ass to rub in it someone else's face. I live in southern california and even I find you annoying. Anon from Burbank, your city is an armpit, who cares what your weather is like? When the mercury hits 4000 there in summer I notice the tv writers and porn actors aren't so smug about the climate. And if I hear one more report from Florida, I'll drive out there, get my free glass of OJ at the border and run down the first weird beard on a bike with a fishing pole I see. Your state is so flat your version of riding bikes is akin to a merry go round. You guys can't climb, can't descend & can't ride a striaght line from the constant flow of budget beer that is sweating from your brow. You do seem to be good at fishing off the side of the road while sitting on a Murray cruiser, because you lost you license to DUI.
I feel better now. Apologies to my brothers and sisters who must ride in inclement weather and know what fenders are for. I've raced in freezing weather before and its not exactly fun.
Re: Dogs.
I was walking along in the snow yesterday (banned from biking for a week long study, hating it) thinking about bikesnob posts, when I see this lady out walking a 3 legged dog. I ogle at the poor thing, and she shoots me a look like "how dare you make a spectacle out of my tripod dog?"
Well straight away I start making little metaphors and comparisons in my head concerning people who coddle their fixies and people who treat their dogs like humans. I'm trying to figure out a way to justify my love of my bike, just like freak-dog-lady.
Anyway, I'm broken out of my reverie by the uncomfortable feeling of stepping in dogshit, twice in a row, one squarely under each foot.
I hate those bastards, regardless of leg count, sweaters or no!
love from SLC
Following Christmas tree good. Following plow better.
broomie,
sorry you're pissed about us in warm climes. if it makes you feel better, riding in korean winters sucks ass. colorado...sunny but excrutiatingly cold...new england, see new york...germany, even nastier albeit w/ great food and beer...pacific nw, mo' rain and miserable... kansas, freaking COLD!...bosnia, cold and miserable w/ mines... northern iraq, cold & wet w/ everyone trying to blow you up or otherwise take your cranium...saudi arabia, more rain than they had seen in 80 years
There. Do you feel better now? BTW it has rained at least another 1-2 inches since my last post from Oahu.
embrace your weather and you'll always love being on your bike. except you people in canada; there's no way of embracing that; even the buddha gave up.
Jim -
Too late! You have to move to Oregon if you want to live around Californians. If you DON'T want to live around Californians, California is now safe.
However, you do have to put up with a million people all walking around confused in December saying "you call this a winter??"
Or that could be you. Which is fine, because 999,999 people would say "yeah, tell me about it!"
Well the black ice and the fixed gear business first. When you hit the black ice take advantage of your fixed gear and pedal like hell backwards. This isn't going to do anything for you but will make those who watching you laugh all the harder as you go down. When you do don't hang on to the bars or if your a hipster, whatever nubs might be sticking out of the stem. This is one of the major causes of the broken collarbone. (said like a true crit rider) Just relax and dust yourself off.
Out for a ride today 4C. The lt. col. is right, it doesn't matter where you live just ride when you can.
One of the reasons we have so many people moving here to Nova Scotia from Holland and Germany is that we have four distinct seasons. We are luck this way. Give you a bit of an idea when to rest when to rebuild and when to have fun.
And the Buddists all live here now.
-B
Just as Tiagra is the new 105, and 105 the new Ultegra. Let it come to pass that Kelvin is the new celsius, and celsius... the new ferenheit.
Pistadex warning in San Diego: 450.
http://sandiego.craigslist.org/bik/502218343.html
And, don't worry no weather/climate comments from here.
Pistadex that lox in SD?? must be global warming.
oh yea death to rat dogs
bluenoser...
i didn't have time to look more RIDICULOUS. i was turning left and hit the ice midturn, slamming into the pavement at a decent click, and slid the rest of the way through it. i smashed my mouth on my bars, which are not nubs, something i have never done before! let me tell you in cold the weather i was mostly surprised that my face didn't stick to the metal.
who has ever done that? i felt like a retard laughing with a bloody mouth at 5am.
laughter is the best medicine for recovering from a fall, hipster or not.
i'd rather be stuck behind a guy towing a tree than a beeatch in an suv . . . . any day.
Jinji said:embrace your weather and you'll always love being on your bike. except you people in canada; there's no way of embracing that; even the buddha gave up.
Actually, you underestimate our insanity, I mean determination. Check out http://www.icebike.org
Lt. COl. Jim
I'm not pissed about people being in warmer climates. I'm pissed with people who are "SMUG" about their climates. Its the meteorlogical equivavlent to "nyahh nyaah nya nyaaah" As if they somewhow are smarter than the rest of the country. I'm sure Florida guy won't be so giddy when the next hurricane blows through. Fortunatly in Cali the earthquakes only throw you off your bike for a 1/2 minute max. Although last last bout of wildfires kinda put a damper on some good rides.
Your post is interesting, and I'm glad you're stll alive and have good stories. I've had some harsh rides, too, but I've only been shot at once and never had to deal with landmines so I genuinely salute you, sir. Keep the faith and I'm sure you'll make a full bird soon.
BTW, Do you still have all your fingers and toes?
Broomie, why the Florida hate? As was pointed out a few days ago on this here blog (perhaps even by you?), our weather is ALL we have to be smug/happy/proud about. We've got no hills, no mountains, two shitty baseball teams...but LORD do we have a bunch of lane-hogging oldtimers in big sedans.
Oh, and if you visit, DON'T drink the free OJ. The tourist board pees in the container (but you didn't hear it from me)...because the year-rounders really really hate tourists.
Broomie,
Certainly not too smart here! Keep getting sent to these places. Seriously, I wouldn't trade all the crap for all the people I've met and worked with.
As for parts...got them all! As for that bird thing well, don't think I'll be in that long medically but thanks.
Re: Florida hate
The truth is I have been ignoring my studies. I have 2 term papers due and finals are next week. I am also short on internship hours. The resulting anxiety is being displaced onto innocent cyclists. Like a stressed out botox, soccer mom in an H3 I have swerved into the bikelane of hatersburg!
Sorry guys. I throw myself onto your mercies.
I am giving myself a timeout for acting up. Ride safe and stay warm (or cool as the case may be)
I'm not even sure why bike fishing was bugging me. When I was in St. Pete's I thought it looked fun.
101!
Broomie,
all is forgiven...besides, you did have some great points about the cultural deadend that is modern Florida!
Now get back to your studies and quit reading this stuff...is wasting your time in the comments section of BSNYC helping you write your papers or get internship hours? I didn't think so. Now get cracking!
...wow...post a comment, save a future career & perhaps untold millions...
...awesome...the power of the 'net...
one paper done!
thanks guys. I'm just happy to be a part of something...magical (insert rainbows and ponies here).
After BSNYC closes, lets drink in the parking lot for a bit and then flame some dudes on cycling forums before we go home and pass out!
Why did you cross out rats? That thing is a rat.
r u so fucking jobless u dum fuck?
bsnyc,
jobless bastard.
29 degrees? Y'all are spoiled! We've already had sub-zero (F) temperatures here in Minneapolis.
verner hartzog
............Nice..^_^v................
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