Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Indignity of Commuting by Bicycle: New and Noteworthy

As other people compose their holiday greetings I once again find myself composing notes to the people I encounter on my commute. I'd like to say that it's better than lashing out at them verbally, but unfortunately I occasionally find myself doing that too. So in those cases I suppose the notes at least help fill in the gaps between the obscenities:

Dear Car That Beeped At Me,

You beeped your horn at me while I was riding to work. It was not the blaring, impatient honk of the self-important luxury car owner; rather, it was a brief chirp meant simply to alert me to your presence. And while your intentions may have been good—or at least not malicious—please note that I don’t care. Your beeping means you can see me, and I’m not worried about drivers who see me. I’m worried about drivers who don’t. Believe it or not, in a city of eight million people I already operate under the assumption that there is probably a car behind me, and the fact that you happen to be in it has no bearing on which portion of the road I choose to occupy. Please only use your horn when you are about to collide with another vehicle and death is imminent. Thank you.

Dear Car That Beeped At Me Impatiently,

Yours was the blaring, impatient honk of the self-important. What makes you think I care about your schedule or where you have to be? If you were on your way to saving a life you’d be in a truck with a siren, not in a German sedan. You also wouldn’t have food in your lap—unless you plan to resuscitate the patient by stuffing a Blimpie’s sub down his throat.

Dear Car From Jersey That Beeped At Me Impatiently,

When I told you to “go back to Jersey, you piece of [excrement],” you retorted: “I’m not from Jersey.” Now that’s just funny.

Dear Department Store Bike-Riding Salmon,

As I made my way around the double-parked FedEx truck, there you were, headed right at me, your chrome-plated suspension fork crown glistening in the winter sun. The dull sheen of your half-lidded eyeballs was a bit less brilliant, however. Speaking of brilliance, how far from it must you be to ride the wrong way down the busiest street in Downtown Brooklyn during rush hour? Mere feet separate you from the proper lane and safety, just as a mere handful of IQ points must separate you from being able to feed yourself.

Dear Fixed-Gear Caballero,

In New York City, as the mercury goes south the bandanas migrate northward, traveling from head-tubes and jean pockets to riders’ faces. You were one such rider, your hankie tied around the lower portion of your face, bandit-style. However, it just wasn’t that cold. There were infants in baby seats on hybrids with bare faces and they seemed quite comfortable. And if it had been that cold, a bandana wouldn't do anything anyway--except freeze solid with saliva and mucus and chafe your face. Maybe you wouldn’t be so cold if you knew that just because an article of clothing has a picture of a bicycle on it it’s not necessarily cycling-specific. You also don’t look menacing—you look like you’re playing Cowboys and Indians. And I’m not telling you this to mock you. I’m trying to help. A bandana is like a top-tube pad for your face. And the next step in cycling dorkitude is the Euro pirate roadie look
. That’s a step you don’t want to take.

154 comments:

Anonymous said...

chain smoking French cyclotourist

Jon is a Typhoon! said...

SECOND!

Anonymous said...

third!

Euro-Pirate roadie said...

The chicks at Bunberry's love me.

Frank the Tank said...

C'mon Bikesgonewilde. Let's hear it. We all know you have something to say.

Douchebag.

gttim said...

I remember when I commuted to work by bike and had a car honk at me from behind. Without turning around I instinctively raised my hand and middle finger, flipping off my boss. Luckily he found it rather funny.

Regarding the Castelli Bandana: Friends do not let friends wear do rags. Ever.

Karl Rover said...

Nice! You left out "Woman on the cell phone who jaywalked right in front of me". I see her quite often.

Frank the Tank said...

Gttim-

Nice move. Man, my boss, who is a fellow cyclist, would not have been amused.

Anonymous said...

Dear lawless red light runner cyclist(s), I know your job is so much more important than mine that you feel you must run every red light in town. But please be aware, that as you are slower than a snail, I will pass you before the next light. It is your responsibility to pass me safely as I wait patiently for the green light. You also now put me in the position of having to safely pass you again and again because of your lack of leg strength and addiction to running redlights.

Sincerely, a regular bicycle commuter

GGehrke said...

Euro pirate roadie, or...
80's Wrestling Icon

And gotta say, I almost prefer clueless drivers to the ones who honk to "let you know where they are." I wish interacting with cyclists was an integral part of mandatory drivers ed, and I nominate BSNYC to write the curriculum.

Flash Gordon said...

indeed, why are the bikers that run redlights always so slow? It's almost as annoying as playing leapfrog with a bus going the same way you are.

erik k said...

hahaha, last time a saw someone sporting the Euro pirate roadie look he was drifting into my handle bars on a group ride, causing my bike to swerve sharply to the right, Euro pirate roadie then overcompensated for his drifting and swerved left into oncoming traffic almost getting hit by a loudly honking car (this of coarse was a correct use of horn .ie impending death by head on collision) However as luck would have it this incident would actually end up being to my benefit. Now kind of freaked out by Euro pirate roadie I was weary of his reckless ridding tactics and when Euro pirate roadie spontaneously lost balance and fell over mid pack I was safely behind him and got the satisfaction of not being one of the three people to ride directly over and eat shit on top of his over weight middle aged carcase as it slid to a crushing halt on the pavement in a bloody fiesta of bike parts and bleeding roadies. so the lesson of the story is if you ever see a Euro pirate roadie stay away, stay very far away

judi said...

Thanks for a good laugh!!

Anonymous said...

while I definitely prefer my balaclava, I definitely cover my face with my handkerchief when I have nothing else to keep between myself and the biting northern winds (as I always keep one in my bag as they are infinitely useful!). I understand this may not be as big a problem in NYC, but don't deny their usefulness from time to time!
-signed, a vermonter

Ka_Jun said...

Please only use your horn when you are about to collide with another vehicle and death is imminent. Thank you.

You sure you're from NY? What's with the "Thank you"?

Strayhorn said...

The cycling do-rags have started to turn up around here. Compounding the stupidity are the people who think bandanas are replacements for helmets.

Thanks for that photo at the end. Classic.

Bobby said...

I think the Castelli hat is a bit Steven Van Zandt aka "Little Steven" of Springsteen fame. Of course he was a bit pirate'ish anyway so I guess you're right on.

http://image.listen.com/img/356x237/4/1/7/5/995714_356x237.jpg

bobby said...

link didn't work....google him, you'll get the idea.

broomie said...

BSNYC,

I didn't quite get what you where saying. It was a little wordy, anyway. But, I would like to thank you for the link to the Castelli site! I just got some some stocking stuffers for all my buddies!

YES! said...

FIRST!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I given up the one finger salute in favor of the two fingers salute. Which way I turn it depends on my mood.

broomie said...

I prefer the East coast honkers (this doesn't include Floridans who drive like San Diegans) to the usual method of car to cyclist communcation in my town. Drive up behind the cyclist as quielty as you can and rub his rear wheel with the bumper. Then give him a dirty look as you slowly run over the bike.

BSNY, may I use the line "This note is just to fill the time between obscenities." on the next note I leave? I think it actually sums everything up perefectly, myself. I'll be happy to cite you as the source if you like.

thefutureofamerica said...

gttim -

I have a similar story except the finger belonged to one of my riding buddies and the driver was my mom on her way home from Sunday morning water aerobics.

Polygraf said...

Dear Stuyvesant High Gym Teacher,
Every Fall semester you have your incredibly uncoordinated class rollerblade up and down the greenpath completely blocking both lanes consistently. You put riders and your students at risk, eventually I will have to knock some of these teens over and their parents will sue you and you will loose the prestige of being a gym teacher at one of the cities least athletic schools.

DrCodfish said...

I was thinking of a jersey graphic a few years ago. Bold letters across the back:

"HONK IF YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!"

Yr Pal DrCodfish

Euro-Pirate roadie said...

Erik K @ 12:50,

Sorry, I was drunk on rhum and the sweet ambrosia of the counter maidens at Bunberry's.

Polygraf,

I'll have you know Stuy Girl's varsity bowling is 10-0 this season. So there!

OSFA said...

Yaargh matey!

gttim said...

Steven Van Zandt

SVZ put his head through a windshield once upon a time and has some scar tissue type bald spots on his head. Plus he is really cool and a rock and roll star, so he gets to wear funny head gear.

thefutureofamerica:

Classic!

My favorite honking story is on a Wednesday evening. A little POS Ford hatchback honks and tries to brush us back off the road. I see some mid 20's guy driving and a wifey type next to him. As they go by to our fingers and yelling, I notice the fish on the hatchback. I guess they might be headed to the Baptist church up ahead for Bible meeting since it is Wednesday evening- or I prayed they were. As I sprint into the church parking lot I see the guy walking quickly away from his car. His little wifey is pissed at him and jawing. I let them get close to the stairs that were crowded with other Bible meeting folk when I roll up and say very loudly:

"That wasn't very Christian like! You should ask you minister about running cyclists off the road."

Then I just rolled off. Sometimes living in a religious southern state is fun!

Anonymous said...

HONK!

Anonymous said...

Please stop referring to drivers as "cars." Drivers kill people; Cars are merely the devices which they use.

aaron said...

I'm amazed that ninjas haven't killed all the Euro pirate roadies. They usually flip out and force those guys to committ seppuku.

www.realultimatepower.net

quaffimodo said...

"As they go by to our fingers and yelling, I notice the fish on the hatchback."

Kill a cyclist for Christ...

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

Cathartic post BSNYC!

I've had a challenging few commutes lately.

I almost got run over by a cabbie whose idea of "pardon me" was a gratuitous invitation to engage in an act of sexual congress that is anatomically impossible;

I narrowly missed Karl Rover's cell phone woman and others obliviously jay walking into me;

Every other crosswalk in the city has a tourist crossing against the light and figuring that bikes don't count as on-coming traffic;

And to top it all off, I bruised my ego on the icy boardwalk of beloved cultural icon.

But nothing beats last Friday night.

I'm stopped at a light on Fifth Avenue and 45th when some yahoo walking behind me starts hollering for the traffic cop to give me a ticket because I'm at the top of the crosswalk.

In retrospect, I should have told him Santa was a friend of mine and he wasn't going to be getting that penis enlargment device he had asked for.

But it's the holidays and he was with his three year old, so I just smiled and waved.

Besides, nothing makes angry folks angrier than smiling at 'em.

Shucks, sometimes it's just nice to be nice.

M. Weed said...

Karl Rover said...
Nice! You left out "Woman on the cell phone who jaywalked right in front of me". I see her quite often.

Dear Karl,
I saw her two Saturdays ago in Philadelphia, and I had to stop really hard. This was the result:

http://www.anchorstates.net/images/facesmash1.jpg

I hope she doesn't visit here anymore.

bikesgonewild said...

...i'd say, the first poster is actually funny, for a change...

...thanks for the encouragement, frank the tank, but i get around to things in my own time...

Frank the Tank said...

Hey bikesgonewild-

No smug, holier than thou commenting today?

Frank the Tank said...

bikesgonelame-

Why don't you try NOT posting for once? Seriously. Just give it a fucking try.

cogexxxtreme said...

I be roll'n down hill, drop'n lines thats ill, like da prince from west phil, when da cabby next ta me, almost wrecks me, honk'en dat horn, like he silver spoon born, bigger asshole den I seen in porn, I dont hold back, spit da verbal attack, hit da window, make it crack, cause it be fact, homie dont play like dat.

Anonymous said...

too bad all these punks that where the bandanna's don't race they could be on one of the best teams in NYC.
http://www.banditcycling.com/

Jim said...

Don't knock the Euro Pirate Roadie look until you've lost 125 pounds, become a coke addict, won the Giro and tried it.

Jon - I think you meant "buff" not "typh."

Frank - Hey, nice vendetta. Was BikesGoneWild Bunburying you or something? I think you're dogging out the wrong guy. I hear he's John in the Country, but BikesGoneWild in the city...

bikesgonewild said...

...gee, frank the tank, somebody wouldn't have much of an agenda, if i did that...

Frank the Tank said...

Nah, Jim. I read everyday and never really see a need to post. I'm "frankly" annoyed that people like Bikesgonewild find it necessary to post something everyday regardless of whether or not they have something to say or contribute.

Your comments, Jim, are worth reading, and I also read your blog daily. I don't, however, usually post a comment on your blog.

Asshats like BGW should start their own fucking blog like you did, if they think they're so important.

Anonymous said...

such animosity franky.

im suprised more commuters and messengers don't cary around air horns... its mighty tempting

mr.complaint said...

Dear Car and Driver

Just so you know I do come from a good family and have a loving wife. I wish to get home safely.

Please save drag racing for the speedway and not the red light a hundred feet ahead.

Sincerely

Mr.C
---
Dear Fixed Gear Freestyler

Please put your hands on your chosen handlebars. It's nice that you can do s's with reasonable control but the bikepath is crowded and this is the last place I'd want to get hurt.

Come and ride with the Club. We meet at the Boathouse, Saturdays 8AM.

kindly

Mr.C

Dear Wife

I was really kidding when I said I wanted the plastic flowers and pink teddy bears by the side of the road type monument.

This is not how I wanted it to end.

Love

C

Dear frank the tank,

Please join us for the group ride, it's a casual social ride. No dropped riders, nice friendly group.

Honest

Anonymous said...

@ anonymouse #9

running reds is not always a bad thing

when cars are not present I dont see it as a problem.

its another thing during rush hour

but to each his own, we all know the risks of cycling

there are risks just even in walking

- anonymouse too

Anonymous said...

If you are going to carry an air horn, you might as well drive a car and be another asshole.

Scientists can now measure picosecond time measures using sophisticated lasers, they have used these devices to measure the time between a green light change and the honk of a cabbie's horn in Manhattan.

The problem with a car horn is there are no emoticons for horns. We need three horns, listen up Detroit:

The leaving the party in a quiet neighborhood at 4:45am horn.

The 'thumbs up' horn.

The Fuck you horn.

The closest technology for this to date is the mexican hat dance horn.

clayton said...

frank the tank sounds suspiciously like a beligerant fellow who commented here a few days ago. can't remember the name. attacked me with much the same pointlessness he's attacking BGW.

also, what's the leroydex today? seems like it should be pretty close to 1:1.

and maybe i'm an idiot, but i didn't get the joke with the bike wheel picture at the end.

Anonymous said...

Dear Redneck who once yelled at me to "get a car",

Seriously?

Anonymous said...

to anon 3:57

Running red lights is a risk, and guess what- its also against the law. Even if you don't think a car is coming, it may be coming really fast to make the green light. Its a risk noone should take. It also has the side effect of giving all law-abiding cyclists a bad name by association. So if you do run red lights, please think of how your actions can affect others.

anon #9

Frank the Tank said...

Nope, Clayton, sorry. I'm not the same guy. I admire that guy's BGW hatin', but you, my friend, did not deserve it.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Clayton,

No joke, just a pic from my commute this morning. The urban cycling equivalent of sun-bleached bones in the desert.

--BSNYC

PS: Whoever Frank the Tank is, he clearly took the restrictor plate off the Red Dragon.

erik k said...

haha good one snob and heres an ode frank the tank. maybe these will sell out now too

Frank the Tank said...

Well, BSNYC, if you wanna join me, I'm going streaking!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

woogie, woogie

bikesgonewild said...

Frank the Tank, I apologize for being such a jerk. I just am going through a rough time in my life. I love you?

urchin said...

Dear holeshot Honda,
Another year has gone by with us sharing the road--what a pleasure. I've never gotten your real name because you always seem to be in such a hurry to blow through that gap to the right of the cars waiting at Bellevue intersections. That gap I keep mistaking for a bike lane. I'm always thrilled that you deem me skillful enough on a bike not to get in your way as you blow past us all on a light change.

But my friend, the years are going by. As I get older, I just might lose a step and accidentally twitch my handlebars the wrong way, bringing an unexpected wobble to my start. God forbid I should be on my commuter bike, which could very well leave unsightly scratches on your right fender. You don't want that, and I don't want that.

Perhaps you could give a rude signal of some kind to let me know you're in the area again.

Anyway, just a little note for the season.


PS
thanks again for not turning right.

frank the tank said...

It's cool....I think I love you too?

bikesgonewild said...

...IF FRANK THE TANK WANTS TO INSULT ME, FINE...THAT HIS FUCKING PREROGATIVE, I'LL EITHER DEFEND MYSELF OR LET HIM EXPOSE HIS OWN IGNORANCE...

...AT 5:02PM, SOME PISSANT JUST POSTED USING MY FIX WHICH IS BULLSHIT...I'LL GIVE, TAKE & STAND ON MY OWN KEY STROKES, BUT SOME MORON IS TAKING THIS TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL...BACK THE FUCK OFF, PAL...
...I HANDLE MY OWN SHIT...DO THE SAME FOR YOURSELF...
...UPSET ???, FUCKING RIGHT !!!...

...HERE YA GO, FRANK, THINK IT'S OK TO POST THIS !!!...

...SIGNED::: THE REAL BIKESGONEWILD...

Anonymous said...

Aw crap, anyone can post as any nickname. Frank #2, you just spoiled all my fun.

johnny said...

Hey BGW-

If you're so protective of that "fix," why don't you register that name and your email with Google. Then you can log-in with it.

Otherwise, shut the hell up and quit being such a baby.

I actually agree with Frank--you do post too much!

erik k said...

...bikesgonewild

why don't you just register your own blogger account?

bikesgonewild said...

erik k...

...cuz i'm a stupid jerk with no friends and i don't have an email address to register...

...just sayin'...

marlo said...

Word, BSNYC. Word.

clayton said...

over the span of this blog, the comments have gone from pointless to funny to downright annoying to the current level of workplace entertainment nearly on par with the originals posts.

and for what it's worth, i enjoy your comments, BGW, though i don't think you should take frank so personally.

Anonymous said...

Satire is funny!
Being a dick isn't so funny!

Richmond Roadie said...

I've been reading this blog for a couple of months now.

Without a doubt, you possess the sharpest wit I've run across!

Thanks.

curmudgeon said...

Bikesnob,
You shouldn't criticize the cyclist for riding against traffic. In the new orthodoxy of cycling in New York City, cyclists can't possibly be responsible for their own safety. Only motorists and city agencies like DOT & NYPD can make the city safer for cycling. All bike crashes are always caused by motorist error and/or NYPD lack of enforcement and/or bad DOT street designs, all of the time. Please make the correction.
Thanks

Jim said...

Your comments, Jim, are worth reading, and I also read your blog daily. I don't, however, usually post a comment on your blog.

Frank, do you like me? Do you want to shag my sister? I bet you're the kind of guy who would screw a buddy and not even give a reach-around. How tall are you? I didn't know they could pile crap that high.

/Gunny Sgt. R. Lee Ermey Voice

Elephantino said...

Eh! Tua madre fuma pollo!

Anonymous said...

someone keeps using my handle!

broomie said...

Now I'm legit

leroy said...

Note to self: cut back on the caffeine.

Don't want to wind up shouting at folks on the internet.

Gotta save that for the ride home.

bikesgonewild said...

...thank you for the suggestion, erik k...never felt the need until today...
...cheers to broomie, me too...

Frank the Tank said...

Yes, Jim, of course I want to shag your sister. Seriously, though, you're Unholy Roleur blog is spot-on, too.

Frank the Tank said...

Hey BGW, I'm a Taurus, too.

You're really old, though. Way to old to be getting so worked-up by a bunch of random strangers on the internet.

erik k said...

leory-
"Don't want to wind up shouting at folks on the internet."

-well said

and bikesgonewild is official now what a day, and that brings us to what is the up to date leorydex anyone?

Anonymous said...

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/bik/513207973.html

Thought you might enjoy these pics, particularly the 2nd, from CL.

Andy Pandy said...

On my side of this spinning globe it is summer and the favored ride is full of wannabees with low end (cheap entry) Giants with nasty aero bars, bad taste lycra and 20 year old foam helmets. Nearly as dangerous as the cars. They blast by you in a full tuck (or as low as the pot belly will allow) only for you to catch them on the next rise. Next expect them to wheel suck for 5 kms getting breath back until they blast past again. Typically they roll thru lights again for you to catch them up the road. I do not believe they understand tempo or the 70 km that I have just banged out. I always stop at lights
1. because it is the law( lame but true) and
2. because late last year a pack blasted through a pedestrian light and killed a soul.
There is as a result a lot of bad karma out on the roads still. Ride safe as you cannot do a lot of riding from a hospital bed.

bikesgonewild said...

...frank, of course i'm old...it's taken me my whole life to get to this point...
...as far as worked up, hell, that & breathing deep is they only way i can stay even close to catching the passing wheel of you young guys...

...AND I WASN'T REALLY SHOUTING ON THE INTERNET, LEROY,(whoops, sorry), all those caps were to differentiate myself from the guys who don't like to play fair...

mr.complaint said...

WoW! I just slid home along the bikepath and now what? All this love! Bicycles never cease to amaze me.

We are a church with a brainless mechanical god.

...bgw, pass the sacramental wine...

bikesgonewild said...

...regular red or mogen david ???...take your pick...here at the church of the bike, i'm an all inclusive kinda guy...

bikesgonewilde said...

I'm a silly lovesick fool. Let's call this feud off.

Frank the Tank said...

Yeah, I just moseyed home on the bike, almost got hit twice--once by an F-350 and once by a minivan...

Made me think of today's post (imagine that, right).

Truce.

bikesgonewild said...

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got
Make Me so horney
Ooh, rump of smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my benz
Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy

'night boys...

Scott said...

BSNYC, it looks like you coined an honest-to-goodness term!

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/bik/513305871.html

Anonymous said...

you got a problem with jersey bikesnobnyc?

seriously, we're going to have to do a bike rumble, Jersey cats versus the hipsters in bk and see who comes out on top.

my bet is you lose.

Meep said...

Anon #9>
In Texas you're allowed to run a red light with your bicycle if there is no oncoming traffic. Why? Traffic signals here don't always pick up bikes.

Dangerous, yes, but I've waited 10 minutes at a red light once, then said "screw it" and went when I didn't see anyone.

slurd said...

Been riding in NYC for over 10 years, year round, and yes the bandana can make a big difference over your face. They sell fancy versions of these called "Balaclavas," but I've never been one for Eastern European food. Of course you don't need one till it's close to or below freezing. And yes you can have a bit of trouble with your exhalation freezing on them, but it usually stays on the outside surface. So don't hate so hard on the kids who like to play dress-up when they're commuting over the bridge.

Anonymous said...

"Polar Buff" balaclava style and skiing gloves for the windchill, Nokian studs for the black ice and a sturdy leather jacket for the inevitable spills is what takes me through the local -20˚C winters. But first and foremost the buff/balaclava.

Anonymous said...

"bigger asshole den I seen in porn"

You should have your own blog cogsxxxtreme

Anon-I-Mouse said...

Jersey sucks, and Baltimore will own your ass!

40x14 said...

When drivers honk at me I try to imagine that they are honking because they're thinking "Fit and Sexxy! Beep Beep!"

I may be emotionally challenged - but thinking that simple thought helps me from getting road rage.

Is all.

clayton said...

jersey is a truly awful place. at least most parts of south jersey, with the exception of princeton which is pretty despite being a bastion of blue blood racism. i regularly take NJ transit to trenton on my way to philadelphia. the ride provides views similar to what you'd expect in the poorer parts of eastern europe. and what's with all the standing water? i don't think of wetlands when i think of jersey, but south jersey is one big trash-filled puddle. trenton is mayber the most miserable place on the east coast, outside of florida, anyway.

i understand some degree of geographical pride, maybe, but not in this case. new jersey sucks.

Frank the Tank said...

Thanks, Clayton. I wasn't going to ever go to Jersey, but now I really won't. I just hope the Jersey Tourism Authority doesn't sue you now cuz seriosly, I ain't goin' to Jersey.

Todd Colby said...

Bull's Eye!

mojito said...

Inspired stuff.

gttim - I too live in the Land that Fears God. Are you sure the honk was aggressive?


Dear Car that Honked and then Gave Me 12.3 Feet of Passing Room:

I noticed your head tilt up after you went by and was pretty sure that you gave me a good long look in your rear view mirror. Thank you for your kind consideration in letting me know you were there, right behind me, all along. Perhaps you are a Zout salesperson? Please be assured my chamois will now need an extra treatment of your most excellent product to remove the stains.

I am fairly certain you meant well by delivering a 124 db Howdy-Doody. But please be advised that if you intend to pass by with 12.3 foot margin anyway, a warning blast is of little use, other than to increase Zout sales. The feeling of fear and bewilderment that I experienced was on a par with that of Our Great President in a pretzel-eating contest. And just like him in moments of crisis, I tend to freeze, so I would not have gotten in your way. Moreover, in the brief moments it took you to pass by, not even Djamolidine Abdoujaparov could have hurled his bike to the left far enough to have impeded your progress. Yours in post-traumatic shock, moj

Anonymous said...

If only this was on a jersey:
http://www.cafepress.com/buy/bike/-/pv_design_details/pg_8/id_8704132/opt_/fpt__________________b__a/c_759/

Anonymous said...

A bandana (or any sort of mouth covering) can actually be really useful. I wear them for moisture, not warmth. Riding on a dry winter day is liable to leave me cold and hoarse for the next hour, but a moist rag can really help.

Anonymous said...

last time i checked every single road racer/rider in NYC rides in jersey over the gwb, so quit hatin

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