Speaking of cheesy pads, here's someone who actually lives in one. "How can I show off my bicycle, my flat-screen TV, my audio system, my kitchy lizard toy and my sleek, modern furniture all at the same time? I know! I'll post the whole lot on fixedgeargallery!" Oh, right, sorry--the bike is for his girlfriend. That's probably the same thing he tells the cashier when he goes to Sephora and buys $75 worth of skin care products for himself. If he's waiting to upgrade the bike as she "learns to ride better," why didn't he put a brake on it? Have we broken through to a new dimension of irony where you now must master brakeless fixed-gear riding before putting a brake on your bike? In any event, while it doesn't have a brake, it does have a top tube pad. So at least when she crashes the bike won't get scratched.
Of course, while I'd suggest anybody looking to get into the crotch-and-bike protection racket should wait and see where things are going before they jump in head-first, clearly putting padding on your top tube isn't entirely dead. In addition to the bikes above, there were others that had various kinds of wadded-up crap on their top tubes as well. However, for various reasons, I chose not to count them. Here they are:
I couldn't tell whether this was an actual top tube pad or just a tourniquet meant to stanch the hemorrhage of ugliness. So I didn't count it.
I did not count this one because it's from Latvia. Just as much of the starlight we see at night is actually from long-dead suns, people in Latvia are only now adopting trends that have long since passed here. Plus, arguably it's short enough to be considered a top tube protector and not a top tube pad. Strictly speaking a protective layer should cover at least 50% of the top tube to be considered a top tube pad.
"Always keep your bars higher than your saddle. Skwaaawk!"