Monday, October 15, 2007

Manifest Destiny: Wither Cycling Bliss?

I left town this past weekend. If you’ve had ever had a pleasant dream only to awake abruptly and see it dissipate like a squirt of octopus ink into the ocean of reality, then you know how I feel after returning to New York after a trip. I cling to the bliss for as long as I can, but like one of those rubber water snakes the tighter I squeeze the quicker it slips out of my hand. Of course, in times like this it is tempting to ask myself if perhaps I should move, but generally the bitterness subsumes me before I can get very far along in my planning. As of right now though the negativity has yet to reclaim me fully, so once again I find myself plotting my escape. And although I didn’t leave the East Coast this weekend, my thoughts inevitably drift westward. Here are the possibilities I'm considering:

Northern California


Pros:

--The cradle of mountain biking civilization
--Mild weather
--Progressive bike culture
--San Francisco is a cosmopolitan city, so no big city withdrawal
--Great places to ride

Cons:

--Expensive
--Everybody in New York seems to be from the Bay Area these days, so something must be wrong with it if they actually want to move here
--The palpable undercurrent of hippiness frightens me

What I could do there:

Open a cycling school for Bay Area residents planning their inevitable move to New York. Classes will include light-running, pedestrian chicken, and sitting in for the sprint. The final exam will involve being pursued for six straight hours by a minivan whose driver suffers from a rare combination of narcolepsy, rabies, and myopia.

Southern California

Pros:

--Warm all year round
--I can’t think of anything else

Cons:

--Car-centric
--I like beaches, but I don’t like beach cruisers
--Too many people with flat-brimmed caps and bandanas on their top tubes
--San Diego is there

What I could do there:

Showbiz! Currently I’m working on a stand-up act. Actually, it’s more of a ventriloquist bit. A rusty Schwinn conversion named “Jeff Fixworthy” with a Budweiser beer cosy for a top tube pad takes the stage and I provide the voice offstage in a southern drawl. His “You Might Be A Roadie” routine should kill. “If you spend your day with your nose six inches from someone else's butt and you’re not a proctologist or the President, you might be a roadie.” (Cue groans now.) Who doesn’t love paceline humor? The sitcom offer should be forthcoming.

The Pacific Northwest

Pros:

--Huge bike culture
--Has actual cities as well as natural beauty
--Thriving cyclocross scene

Cons:

--Wet
--Portland sounds like Williamsburg, Brooklyn if it were exposed to radiation
--I’m haunted by the 1992 Cameron Crowe film “Singles”
--People who obsess over coffee like it’s wine drive me even crazier than people who obsess over wine

What I could do there:

Open a shop called “The Fenderia” that only sells bicycle fenders.

The Southwest


Pros:

--Dry

Cons:

--Dry

What I could do there:

Start a company called Custer's Last Trackstand that makes Native American-inspired beaded top tube pads, messenger bags, and riding moccasins.

The Rockies



Pros:

--Great riding
--Hotbed for bike racing
--Stunning landscapes, rugged beauty

Cons:

--Epic climbs make wheelsucking impossible
--Snows too much
--Frequent references to cowboys and ranches are unsettling

What I could do there:

Open a dude ranch for fixed-gear freestylers called the The Lazy Q-Factor. Visitors can wear chaps and practice calf-roping and cattle-herding on their fixed-gears. With the popularity of bike polo, stunting, and branding, fixed-gear rodeo sounds like the next logical step.

The Great Plains


Pros:

--No climbs to get dropped on
--No urban cycling trends to taunt me

Cons:

--Daunting expanses
--Tornadoes
--No urban anything
--Too much wheat, not enough gluten

What I could do there:

Start a Velospace-type website called “The Bikes of Wrath” where people submit Dorothea Lange-inspired photographs of their weathered and beaten bicycles and lament their lots in life.

89 comments:

Anonymous said...

"the bikes of wrath"... good one!

Anonymous said...

--People who obsess over coffee like it’s wine drive me even crazier than people who obsess over wine

I hate coffee fanatics as well, talk about a lame thing to obsess about. It tastes crap no matter how you brew it, at least have the guts to try some proper narcotics if you really need that 'hit' so bad!

Bikesnob, you should try living in Northern Europe if you want a real change. Here we have 6 month winters that are only offset by 3 months of crap weather and another 3 months of less crap weather. Hahaaa
If only it weren't true... :(

pete said...

Oh my God, Northern Europe sounds a lot like Minnesota... If you like what anonymous is preaching try Minneapolis.

Prolly said...

You forgot the South man...

Shotgun racks on your MTB.

CATO said...

Or.....move to the lovely midwest.

Wisconsin has beautiful landscapes, enough Amish to rediscover your Landis roots, and an abundance of foam cheeseheads that can easily be converted to top-tube pads.

Further, since Wisconsin lags behind in fashion like a fixed gear freestyler in a roadie peleton, you can mount a pre-emptive front against all the silly fixed-gear trendiness. You could open up a nice studio or consulting firm in Milwaukee advising surburban 20 somethings who just moved into the city what not to do to their conversion.

GhostRider said...

Three words: Flor-I-Duh.

Brutally warm year-round, excessively car-centric, lots and lots of shirtless, tubby middleaged men on beach cruisers (with beer-coozy holders on the handlebars), rednecks, Paris Hilton-wannabees, a fractured yet oddly incestuous bicycling culture, trikes and recumbents by the truckload, driving summer rains and more lightning strikes than anywhere else in the world...sounds appealing, doesn't it?

If you head down here, I'll make you a replica "USA!USA!" tricycle for your frequent forays to the shuffleboard courts and Seminole Indian gambling palaces.

bikesgonewild said...

...ohh, gosh, toto, there's just no place like home...

...however, i do think your career choices for each region show not only a willingness to adapt, but a likelihood to prosper...

Impartation said...

Southern France / Northern or Southeast Spain.

billy said...

Cato,

The foam-cheese top tube pad is absolute genius.

While growing up in WI, there were always the people who insisted on turning their cars/trucks into officially licensed Green Bay Packer vehicles - you know, rattle-can kelly green over rust spots, yellow racing stripes, etc.

I can remember this one dude had a papier-mache helmet (like 3 ft tall) attached to the top of his car. He must've shellacked the hell out of that thing to make it through the winter.

The little lightbulb in my head just flickered to all the FGG/Velospace possibilities for this topic. Does anyone have any mismatched green and gold Oury's I can buy? Would anyone outside Wisconsin appreciate something like this? Could I get an NFL sponsorship?

Sean Lynch said...

billy,

You could scrape the slush from the parking lot after a game at Lambeau field, re-bottle and sell it as "Green Bay Ice Beer". That slush is usually about 12% alchohol.

You should be able to finance any bike related operation with the proceeds.

Anonymous said...

YAWN!

mr.complaint said...

BS-

You aught to be committed!

Less coffee, more whining? Living with one foot out the door? Fence straddling, wishy-washy, flip-flopper.

Oi! NYC.

Steven said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steven said...

Damn the only time you mentioned San Diego and it was negative...I love SD but hate 99% of the population. Too many damn roadies and fixed gear hipsters but a good critical mass turn out. The best things about SD? Adams Ave, Mission Hills, and Veloculture bike shops

bikesgonewild said...

...forgot to mention, regarding your typical nor-cal group photo::: while it's true that we mostly ride nekkid wearing spd flip-flops, here in the summer, i suggest bringing baggies & a jacket...
...winter chill brings about 'george costanza swimming in the ocean' shrinkage issues...you don't wanna get caught short...

Josh Nadas said...

have you ever been to the south?

surely you could find it in your heart to mock my state - North Carolina.

Pro's
- large number of state parks with mountain biking trails

- respectable cyclocross scene

- pulled pork bbq

Con's
- proximity to South Carolina, and the rest of the deep south.

- you're Yankee ass sticks out like a sore thumb (I would know, I was born in Poughkeepsie)

- car's go out of their way to run you off the road.

www.joshscrossadventures.blogspot.com

Jim said...

Hey BSNYC, there's only one move that would make sense for you. D.C. Inside the Beltway, baby. Hollywood for Ugly People. It makes total sense:

1) Since you like telling others what to do with their bikes, government work is a natural for you - I'm thinking the Department of Transportation, Directorate of Human Powered Vehicle Aesthetics, could use somebody like you.

2) The people tend to be a little rude, just like NYC, so you'll feel at home. Yet they totally lack the native noo yawkas' panache for cursing and hollering - they don't even have a "f*** you... *no*, f*** you" routine worked out - so your cursing and multilingual profane hand gestures will make you the life of any roadrage incident.

3) It's easy to get laid here. Everybody has a total feeling of inferiority about New York, and the girls will be dying to prove to you they are just as good as your old girl in New York. If you can't figure out how to put this to work for you... well, there's a thriving gay scene too which you might enjoy. That's what I've heard, anyhow.

4) We have no fashion sense, so there will be plenty of bikes & people to make fun of - saving you from hours of Velospace cruising, so your carpal tunnel syndrome will heal up. Your lime green Deep Vees, dayglo orange spandex manpris and argyle top tube pad will be the toast of the town.

5) It's easy to get laid here because all you need is to be a senator, house member, or influential lobbyist. Sure, you aren't one, but all you need to do is lie, because most of the female interns are Ivy Leaguer undergrads, so they are gullible enough to believe even the craziest shit.

6) It's got a pretty hot road & cross racing scene, so it will be easy for you to find your niche in racing, whether it's among the terminal wheelsuckers, the hopeless losers, or the DFL'ers. The mountain bike scene used to be pretty good but as the road scene has improved, I think most of the MTB'ers have focused their efforts on hooking up with roadies' wives.

7) It's easy to get laid here because, with half the ladies in town (hint: not the Republican chix), if you tell them you are on the bike to "save the planet," you're in. For a closer, mention you only went fixed because 10 speed cassettes "rip too much steel out of Mother Earth." You may also want to mention that you only use the Porsche Cayenne on the weekends, or they'll think you're just some loser on a bike lying to them to get laid. For Republican chix, simply switch the bike and the Porsche Cayenne around and you'll do fine.

Yeah, you should move for all those reasons, plus, it's easy to get laid.

Anonymous said...

You forgot the latest scourge of the Gray Area...er...Bay Area that I like to call the Neo-Hippie. College students screaming fair trade wearing a Gap T-Shirt, Polo Jeans and $5 dollar flip-flops from WalMart. All the dummies with "Keep Tahoe Blue" stickers on their H2's driving 5 hours one way to ride a 15 mile loop with a cup of Star*uck's in thier water bottle. The thirty-something parents that spend $1,000 on a baby stroller, $200 on baby running suits, and cry about gas being $3.50 a gallon. The real Hippies fled the Bay Area long ago to places far to the North and the Foothills of the Sierra. The Neo-Hippie is far more dangerous yet much easier to brush aside on the local trails....

Anonymous said...

The Bikes of Wrath already exists:

http://tinyurl.com/26apmg

Anonymous said...

San Diego isn't that bad, except for this one jerkwad named Steven.

Any time you hate 99% of the people in a town North of the Mason-Dixon line, chances are that they are just normal people and you are the town asshole.

It is already too crowded here, so when you move someplace else please take Steven with you.

Derisory Velo said...

Theres definitely enough in our good ol' North Carolina to write a graduate dissertation on. However; the key here is to find a locale in which one may survive without defeat and therefore faced with the obligation to commit sepuku in order maintain one's honor, but also somewhere that angers one enough to savor that acute rage that is so frequently stimulated by annoying cyclist (Dahons, BioPace, NeXt full suspension designs, etc) this rage is something to be cherished more than any fine arabica roast, or complex, and attractive shiraz. It's the life, energy, and passion, that this "velo-disdain" provides us with that makes for the finer things in life. In conclusion, stay where you are BikeSnob. And Continue to make us proud by simultaneously repping and ripping on your hood. awesome post. cheers.

dp said...

"http://tinyurl.com/26apmg"

at least the grapes of wrath left me with a sense of accomplishment. now that i've finished that slideshow, i'm about %15 more stupid and %100 more determined to never go to kansas city again.

mutter said...

You're completely right! San Diego sucks! Please do us... I mean yourself a favor and DON'T move here. We also appreciate you for discouraging any other transplants to come to this terrible town.

Reason's why I hate San Diego:

1. I can ride my bike 352 days a year

This is really a big problem when you are trying to be lazy.

2. Our critical mass is way too critical

The ghetto bird follows us around and people get arrested.

3. The velodrome is a scene

One where you are only cool if you sit along side your fixie on the grass where you can't see any of the action. True supporters.

4. People love to visit on vacation

We don't want them!

5. We are over run by hippies

Have you been to Ocean Beach?

Anonymous said...

that picture of southern california shows the pch in malibu. off to the left is some of the best bike riding anywhere, miles of car-free climbing through quiet canyons with clean air and amazing views over the pacific ocean. los angeles sucks in a lot of ways but that area is close to ideal for riding.

Allen said...

there's nothing wrong with san francisco that's forcing people to move to new york, but the job market there doesn't extend much further than the coffee shop or the natural foods store... unless you do web/computer stuff.

people work to support their "hang out habit" because, well, it's easy to hang out there. dolores park is everyone's backyard, and there are still parts of the mission that's not to expensive. move to sf! and send be a super burrito.

Anonymous said...

Actually I think the picture you used from American Flyers was from the portion of the movie filmed right here in the midwest- Missouri! Velo Femme

Anonymous said...

I'm slightly offended you never even considered the midwest.

Sean Lynch said...

anonymous 5:22,

the midwest lies in a huge blind spot for left and right coasters.

they have to stare at a map.
closing one eye.
looking at the opposite side of the page with their open eye to be able to see it with their peripheral vision.

it then kind of comes into existense for them like those weird 3-D pictures you had to stare at until, broken down in ways even waterboarding can't replicate you are willing to lie and say you see it.

then when they look directly at it, it disappears from their view like mist in the moonlight, or the striped hat and glasses in a Where's Waldo poster.

It was just there! I swear I saw something.

...

it is the same effect that keeps most drivers from seeing bicycles and motorcycles on the road.

Philip Barrett said...

I can't believe you left the Texas Hill Country out of your plans.

Pros:
- not much winter
- great barbeque
- great Tex-Mex
- friendly locals
- great scenery & roads
- awash in beer
- it's a whole other country
- home of Lance
- better yet, home of Willie

Cons:
- does it have to be this hot?
- Bubba & his F350 dually crew cab
(see awash in beer, above)
- roadway armadillos dead & alive
- and does it have to be this hot?

I recommend starting out in Bandera.

Anonymous said...

dunno, for me nyc and an escape to new england is about as good as it gets and as close as it gets to europe in the states.

Anonymous said...

Another vote for the Texas Hill Country from me!

Anonymous said...

i always wanted to move to Rhode Island, because i really like the license plates.. but i probably never will. lived in Chicago but was a car driver.. Madison Wisconsin, cool city good food- good bike shops (yellow jersey and budget (home of vintage campy BMX)) SF, Oakland and Berkeley - too $$$ to live, and just not as cool as i thought it would be.. landed in Seattle been here almost 7 years. active at the Velodrome, got a good team, 4 awesome bikes, i go Mtn Climbing, snowshoeing, hiking, camping. its de life. and it mists not so much RAIN per se and the coffee, well you can call it snobbery but who dosent want the best the world can offer?

love, seattle snob. aka -been there done that.

Philip Barrett said...

Google map Wimberley, Texas. 40 miles from Austin, 55 from San Antonio. >$200K gets you 3 beds, 2 baths, an acre & maybe a pool.

Just think, after that long ride, stripping off, grabbing an ice cold Shiner & dunking in.

I wasn't born Texan but I got here as fast as I could.

gttim said...

You forgot Georgia.

Pros:

--Atlanta
--North Georgia Mountains
--Alabama keeps Mississippi from touching our state
--Tour de Georgia
--Driving distance to the Atlantic and the Gulf
--Velodrome
--Ride year round


Cons:
--Atlanta
--Alabama touches our state
--Yuppies that make rednecks seem nice
--Humidity

Hunter said...

ah I can't believe you haven't considered the southeast!

More rednecks screaming profanity/ throwing objects at you than you can imagine...and forget carcentric, unless its nascarcentric, we have huge trucks that never see you.

Anonymous said...

atlanta is the worst. lived there for 4+ years - like a jail sentence.

BettyBetty said...

The Great Plains! Not totally sure why it sounds good but your picture choice cracked me up. The part about not getting dumped on hills - sorta offsets the whole tornado issue.

leroy said...

Don't count out the South too quickly.

I spent the last two weeks of August visiting the in-laws and riding about 30 miles a day around the islands around Savannah, Georgia

Good place to ride if you don't mind a little heat, humidity and mosquitoes the size of small birds.

A couple of times while riding I thought it was raining. Then I realized that it was only me. (Seriously. That Louis Garneau "wick moiture away" ad copy is for real.)

Of course, I missed the traffic and potholes of NYC. But then. y'all can't have everything.

What you can do there: Anything that involves hydration ought to be a goldmine.

Miriam said...

Portland:
-Nobody thinks you're weird if you ride your bike year round
-Coffee, beer, and wine available in great abundance
-Highest amount of nudie bars per capita in the nation (yes they are nekked and you can drink)
-A bike race on a dormant volcano in city limits.
-If you can ride/race our velodrome, everybody's is cake.

Pros:
-Freaking hipsters
-Even worse: wanna be hipsters

And I wouldn't recommend the Rocky States, yes lots of good training. But also a large portion of SUVs driven by moron suburbanites. And no bike infrastructure in cities.

Meep said...

My vote is also for the Texas hill country... though my "get me the hell out of here" is for the pacific northwest. Meh.

Consider the other Texas: South Texas

Pros:
- no fashion sense whatsoever
- no winter
- being an out of towner gets you brownie points
- the beach

Cons:
- car/truck-a-holics
- too humid
- no fashion sense whatsoever
- tap water is deadly
- the beach
- other cyclists going the wrong direction in their box store bike

Leah said...

hmmmm...well, I can tell you that there are a crapload of nyc transplants here in san francisco, so I don't know what that means for the negative sf slant. all the buroughs are represented.

there aren't a whole lot of hippies left (and I live right by the haight, of all places). there are a lot more ex-hippies who grew up and became doctors and lawyers. which could be worse.

otherwise, I don't think you will be any less annoyed with people here than in brooklyn, although to be fair, I haven't been to new york since I was twelve. however, I have to say that the riding here is a selling point. there are miles of beautiful rides, both on and off road, even some that is in the city. that's something.

Anonymous said...

Yeah san diego does totally suck. Do not under any circumstance whatsoever, move there. Truly populated by 99% assholes. That lucky 1% of non-assholes are the kids sitting on the grass by the track facing the public restroom.

Patrick from Astoria said...

Forget the Midwest. The good sensible folks there (outside of Madison, at least) will look at you and wonder when you're going to grow up and get out of those silly clothes and buy a good sensible car. Just try being a bike commuter around Detroit or Cleveland.

More realistic suggestion: How about Hawaii?

Pros:
-God's own idyllic weather 99% of the time.
-Laid-back local culture. Hell, this is the culture that INVENTED laid-back.
-Able to get just about anywhere and do anything without a car. (Hey, check out the '08 Specialized catalog - hope the guy carrying the body board on pg. 52 doesn't get his wetsuit caught in the chain.)
-Hurricanes provide intense headwind training and JATO-pack tailwinds.

Cons:
-Essentially impossible to do a proper century.
-Triathletes.
-Tourists.
-More beach cruisers.
-Stiff cost of living, even by NYC standards (although no worries about the cost of gas).
-Tires may not survive regular riding on ultra-abrasive lava flows.
-One wonders if there is even one movie house that shows old Godard films, and how often do PJ Harvey or the Arcade Fire make it out there?

Anonymous said...

"I like beaches, but not beach cruisers."

Isn't that weird?

C9 said...

Somebody! Anybody! Please stop bikesgonewild from posting comments before he overpunctuates again!!!!!

His incoherent ramblings threaten to make my head explode, and they are spreading like a virus across my daily bikeblog reading: BSNYC, Bobke, RadioFreddy, BigJonny.

Please make it stop.

StrykerBiker said...

BS- Having lived in Germany, Kentucky, Kansas, Georgia, Connecticut, Washington, Texas, Arizona, and Colorado...no doubt about it that Colorado on the Front Range (Col. Springs) wins hands down. Great variety, weather, challenging road and MTB, and the SUVs aren't so bad if you just head out of town. Hard to be bitter but I imagine you'd persevere.

strykerbiker said...

And no I'm not a deadbeat dad or escaped parolee.

the_boy_who_loves_pasta said...

or how about South Australia. Sort of like a cross between southern California and the south of France only people speak something resembling English.

Pros: Great rolling to flat roads for wheel sucking, gnarly XC singletrack.

Con (if you can call it that): No organised cyclo-cross for at least 10000km's

bikesgonewild said...

...c9...if i thought your head might explode from the simple perusing of my rants & punctuation, i'd be searching for the key phrase...while not being particularly malevolent, it does seems an interesting proposal...the keystroke as triggering device...

..if i'm your biggest concern, considering some of the postings on these sites, you might try increasing or decreasing your drug & alcohol intake...

Jim said...

Bikesgonewild, he has a point.

It appears you are suffering from epi-ellipsis-ey.

Doug said...

I wonder if it's easy to get laid in Washington, D.C. I wish somebody would post a long message explaining why, or why not. That would be very helpful, thanks.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Thanks for the comments everybody. If nothing else we have collectively succeeded in creating the definitive cyclist's guide to where to live.

And yes, I hadn't considered Texas but it's a surprisingly attractive alternative. Kind of like deliberating over Shimano and Campy and winding up with SRAM.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

Just stay in New York. You'd have nothing as interesting to write about otherwise.

hatten said...

"...since Wisconsin lags behind in fashion like a fixed gear freestyler in a roadie peleton, you can..."
n1

"Brutally warm..."
Painfully comfortable?

plain-jane said...

Austin

Pros
- access by bike to farmroads and hundreds of miles of riding from the city itself
- hills in town
- Hill Country to the west
- flatlands to the east
- Roadies and triathletes getting along on the ATC ride each Saturday morning
- free time trials for the fun of it
- friendly bike culture
- lots of technical mountain trails
- liberal town
- very active town

Cons
- hipsters flooding the town from all over
- red state
- its brutally hot
- chip and seal

What you could do here: Ride all year

Agree with others who recommend the Texas Hill Country. Absolutely beautiful out there.

Anonymous said...

Hey bikesnob - long time fan, first time poster. You really, REALLY, need to preemptively ridicule this.

http://www.velonews.com/tech/report/articles/13524.0.html

Velocity has gone too far and must be stopped. No human should have sperm cells, real or graphically represented, on their hoops. Period.

thehat said...

Minneapolis!

Pro's

-Second highest % of bike commuters in the country (Should get extra credit for riding in -20)
-trails/bike lanes and lakes as far as the eye can see
-Velodrome
-Stupor Bowl
-Grain Belt
-Husker Du
-Enough punks to keep the hipsters humble.
-Fashion sense if you want it, none if you dont, pick your part of town.
-Most fixed gears have a front brake

Con's
-Riding in -20
-local news obsession with critical mass "protests" brings out assholes
- Weekends can attract pick up driving hicks who love "loud pipes", confederate flags(!!?) and informing you bikes go on the side walk. (even if your in a clearly marked bike lane)

Bill said...

Best post ever!

"The final exam will involve being pursued for six straight hours by a minivan whose driver suffers from a rare combination of narcolepsy, rabies, and myopia."

I've seen this guy in the van.

Anonymous said...

A JATO pack reference on my favorite blog. It's going to be a great day! Keep it up BSNYC and literate commentators. Too bad to see you've become quite popular and have attracted a number of small-dicked trolls and even worse the "blogmoras". You know, the one's who need to start writing on their own but would rather hitch a ride on someone else's blog and dominate the "Comments" section. Hmmmm, maybe "blogsucking" is a more apt term for these types. I'd use an ellipsis but but wouldn't want to stir up anymore trouble!

Strayhorn said...

As for the South, you could always try one of those "culture oasis" towns like Charlottesville or Chapel Hill.

In which case the vehicle from which abuse and garbage is being thrown will be a Honda Element instead of a Ford F150.

bikesgonewild said...

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Mike said...

Ya missed the Pacific - Hawaii. Please update =)

Young jzZi said...

I would also vote for France if you really want to get away from all that fg-hipsterism & its side-effects. French people are always compeletly on their own level and out of all of these global trends... :8-)

as for northern mid-west and the crappy weather, you gotta rememebr that lot of stupid scandinavians migrated there back in the days of old, when all bikes were made of steel tubing and gears were fixed...

Janie said...

The Bay Area gives New Yorkers tourette's syndrome. All the white people, all the pottery barns, all the Oberlin graduates...

We do have plenty of fixie riding hipsters with tattoos on their way to an AA meeting, a trend that nicely distracts from their suspended drivers license. Then there is the whole downhill racing scene that you could have so much fun with. Those people are amazing, and they share your love for Korn and Limp Bizkit.

We could use some more grumpy writers in the bay - everyone is way to happy and well adjusted. It's unsettling.

fixeryuppie said...

I think Illinois is close enough to the Great Plains (in both physical location and geographical features) to warrant your consideration and counter your con of "No urban anything." Chicago is like a mini New York but without a lot of the attitude (most of the time.) I certainly don't consider myself part of any scene, but we have a pretty decent (and recently repaired) lake path that stretches about 20 miles which makes for a nice ride/commute. It's also really flat here, which is both a good and bad thing, but you can always cruise out West of the city or up to Wisconsin if you need some (smallish) hills. And there are plenty of folks from all disciplines of cycling to critique and berate, including me and my retina-scorching deep Vs.

-fixeryuppie

Anonymous said...

It goes to show how different people have different perceptions. Janie sees lots of smiling happy people in the Bay Area, but I think SF has more depressed, near-suicidal people per capita than anyplace south of Reed College.

Anonymous said...

Regarding Patrick from Astoria's Hawaii, um, "idea." I cannot recommend Hawaii for the cycling per se.

Ok, there are two 14,000' climbs and a 10,000', if you're into that sort of thing.

However, get your Godard fix here:

http://cinematreasures.org/theater/16680/

byob!

coco said...

williamsburg is already exposed to radiation
greensboro is packed with nuclear waste facilities
that's why it was such a crummy area to begin with
and all those who have lived there more than 20 15 years are getting sick with cancer

there's also a huge oil spill/leak under that part of the city as well
cheers!

Anonymous said...

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