Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Fixedgeargallery...of disembodied hands.

While swinging through Fixedgeargallery this morning I was arrested by this entry. No, it had nothing to do with the untenability of the brakeless/platform pedal setup. We're all used to this by now, for better or for worse. (Adherents to this particular combo swear by the "Jamaican skid," though I'd think you'd be more likely to wind up doing a "Texan dismount" when you're thrown from the bike like a cowboy from a bronco, and then waking up in the hospital and executing a full "Regarding Henry.") What really made my heart skip a beat was the mysterious hand present in every shot.

Just who is at the end of that appendage? Maybe you can tell yourself it's just a guy with really banged-up shins, but I can't. The first thing I thought of were those creepy two-handed tambourine-wielding arms in the old Escape Club video. (For those of you who don't remember or were lucky enough not to have been around, this band was produced in a lab in the late 80s to serve as a replacement for INXS should their tour bus ever crash.) Then I calmed myself by thinking maybe it's just a regular guy, his best gal in one hand, his Pista's rim in the other:

The bike's picturesque placement also suggests that it could be part of a new London monument to fixed-gear freestylers.
Or is something more celestial at work here? Has this bike been placed here by God himself?



Or is the bike God, and are we the collective Adam, grasping its wheel so that we may be transported heavenward when it finally ascends?

Does it forego foot-retention of any kind to atone for all our sins?


Or could it belong to an aging Pete Townshend?

Of course, I could just read the guy's entry, but I'm not one for facile explanations.

68 comments:

Chazu said...

Jim,

What are we having for lunch today?

Jeremy said...

NOHOMO custom rims? Huh?

Jim said...

Chicken fingers, washed down with Dead Hand cocktails (Rum, Vodka, Whisky, and Midori).

Anonymous said...

Wild Wild West! Woohoo! Very creative post here Snobby, I laughed, I cried, I made myself a cocktail.

Cheers!

Matt in Seattle

mikesibis said...

i've been impressed by your posts for months but to bring in an "escape club" video reference is a master stroke. bravo
i hate to admit i watched the video and memories of college days came flooding back. (also memories of a certain trek 56o done up in black and red that i thought had to be the best bike in the world)

Anonymous said...

What I don't get is people who post several different pics on FGG... that are all the same shot.

-RT

GhostRider said...

Those pictures just got better and better...and funnier, too, the more I scrolled. Bravo!

Scott said...

Oh, it's cool, "short and sharp" is how he rolls. That explains everything.

Anonymous said...

haha amazing. im in class right now, holding back intense laughter. damn you bike snob.

bikesgonewild said...

...got to hand it to you...even on a slow news day, we get a lesson in art & culture...
...cool collages...

Sean Lynch said...

I like how he sent the e-mail to FG gallery from his work e-mail account. The mail server dutifully tacked on the corporate 'may contain confidential info' BS on the end.

So not only does he make himself look like an FG duufus, but this 'consultant' makes himself look like Mr. Haney from Green Acres when it comes to that thar Intarweb!

Yeah! I think we should all hire him to 'Transform our Ops'. (or is that just east end rhyming slang for drinking beer?)

meh-wee-uhn said...

I vote for the cross, because as my friend Z said (after a long disco about carbon v. alu v. steel), "Bicycles are pain machines and they aren't supposed to be comfortable."

Anonymous said...

The stickers on the top tube say it all. The bike's 2Hip. Word to your mother.

Steven said...

Look kids...Big Ben, Parliament!

Anonymous said...

So instead of moving to the West coast perhaps the idyllic bike scenario would be taking pictures of it by the river Thames (or by any other European bike-friendly city.)

Anonymous said...

Maybe this is an homage to the infamous stolen garden gnome who traveled the world.

Will the next photo be taken in front of the Kremlin, the Taj Mahal, the Alpenrose Velodrome????

I can't wait for the next installment.

Tim Jackson- Masi Guy said...

I snorted... loudly...

SeattleM&M said...

Thank-you for having the good taste not to say it was an arm caught in the spokes after last years Underground bombing.

leroy said...

BSNYC --

Now that was one very funny post!

Hands down, a gem. We've got to hand it to you.

Okay, I'll stop now.

But that was very funny and very welcome on a day when I could sure use a laugh.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious

bother yam said...

Wait, what?

You guys have memories of college?

jeremy said...

So, how can we start a "Disembodied Hand" Gallery?
I am sure everyone has a unique idea of who's hand that really is. Submissions to BSNYC for a follow-up entry?

Who's with me?

db said...

Did anyone else, at first glance, see "Stephen Kinghan" as "Stephen King's hand"? I probably need more coffee...

Anonymous said...

The correct answer is: Most of the above. God is Pete Townsend who seeks to atone for our sins and raise us to heaven through the power of bad pedal choice.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous October 16, 2007 1:13 PM: 2 Hip is a BMX company. He's also got The Come Up stickers on his cranks. Should just get a BMX really.

Fritz said...

I'm asphyxiating on the milk I had at my mouth when I got to your post. I SHOULD KNOW BETTER BY NOW.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Fritz,

Thanks--and here's the obligatory link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbZaKTOSCSs

--BSNYC

crjames said...

do they not have miniature cans of coke in London?

bikesgonewild said...

...i'm envisioning a guy here, w/ really, really long arms...he's holding the rear wheel w/ one hand & a camera in the other & he's stretched all the way around to take the shot himself...

Uncle Bob said...

The "Jamaican Skid"? Isn't that what the West Indian bus-driver does as his red double-decker slides over the top of you at the junction because you couldn't stop on your brakeless, platform-pedalled fashion accessory?

Derisory Velo said...

So, the next question is: who took the picture? do you think he stopped some tourist and demanded that his whip be photographed overlooking the Thames? Or one of his "short and sharp" crew members took it while they all rode around London looking for interesting places to pose their respective rides?

Anonymous said...

From the FGG post: "Keep up the good work, if I had paypal I'd be sending over the ca$h!!"

So sign up for paypal then and stop being such a cheapskate. It only takes a few minutes. What a stingy bastard.

captain obvious said...

You're all so stupid! Severed hands are the new spoke cards.

Anonymous said...

speaking of Deep Vs: http://www.velonews.com/tech/report/articles/13524.0.html

quaffimodo said...

"brakeless platform-pedalled fashion accessory."

Score one for uncle bob.

elmirageracer said...

wow, i just found this blog and spent the last i-don't-know-how-many hours reading the entire thing. f'ng hilarious. thank you for verbalizing so eloquently what were only disconnected impressions in my mind. i promise to ride 500 miles before buying another bike part, and yes, "peddles" is the most annoying misspelling. cheers ~randy

The Great White Hype said...

"The correct answer is: Most of the above. God is Pete Townsend who seeks to atone for our sins and raise us to heaven through the power of bad pedal choice."

And four Hi-Watts.

He's lucky he had a spare diesmbodied hand. You drop anything in the Thames and it'll disolve, wont it?

sssam said...

I used to work in the same building, hope he doesn't lock that prize piece up out the front!

StrykerBiker said...

Oh sure BS, its easy to sit back and mock others' hands. To criticize what you can't do yourself may entertain your twisted and bitter audience, but you're the fool. I bet you're too much of a coward to show us your hands! Hands of venom hiding behind a keyboard.

Shut and ride,or walk on your hands or something!

Al Anon...

Young jzZi said...

Yeah, what kind of a "consultant" don't (know how to) have a Paypal account?

But what the h*ll is a' Jamaican Skid'? Pardon my fg-noobness here...

Jim said...

I've always assumed that a Jamaican Skid is what you get in your pants if you try to fart after you eat a double serving of Jerked Goat Curry, downed with a dozen icy cold red stripes and a double espresso. Y'know, a synonym for shart.

Anonymous said...

Never having ridden a brakeless FG myself and afraid those people might be contagious I don't have much exposure to them. BSNYC, how about a post explaining how these people stop by showing us what these terms mean?

I'd like to see a Jamaican Skid, Brooklyn Slide, Philly Steak and Cheese, Dirty Sanchez... whatever the kids are calling it these days.

Anonymous said...

it's everywhere. i've sicked in my mouth

http://www.the48eighteen.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=lastup&cat=-2&pos=5

Ryder said...

really fucking funny post

Anonymous said...

refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh,.....I'm waiting for today's blog.......refresh, refresh, refresh, etc.

Adam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adam said...

I believe this is what the kids are calling a "Jamaican Skid."

http://www.complex.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/49x16.jpg

BSYNYC? What say you?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Adam,

A Jamaican skid as I understand it is when you put a foot under the forward-facing pedal in order to lock the rear wheel.

--BSNYC

Polygraf said...

Back in the day(brooklyn early 80's) I thought a Jamaican skid was using you foot to jam between the frame and tire( at the spot where your back brakes would normally be, if the cool kids riding brakeless now- who have never broken a chain during a skid or stripped a reaar cog and don't see the need for a front brake call it something different now oh well. Great Blog

Anonymous said...

peace and love!

bin laden said...

funny post but you guys are fucking ridiculous. that bike looks dope

get your head out your asses and realise that this is the sickest shit this side of your mommas aids...

www.thecomeupbmx.net

Anonymous said...

world trade centres kicked ass

goodlifecyclist.com said...

Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

dude's a fucking tourist, doing a life time cruise of what so hot right now.

Anonymous said...

Yo why are people hating on that bike?

If you know any type of bike, then you know what the fuck 2HiP is.

Get a grip

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BSNYC how about a post explaining how these people stop by showing us what these terms mean?

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