Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Further to Yesterday's Post...

Judging from some people's comments, the Candy Cane Bike featured in yesterday's post seems to have succeeded in stirring up just the sort of controversy and resentment its owner intended. The resulting acidity was not at all what I had in mind when I included it. And if there's one thing I think I may have learned in science class, it's that the way to neutralize an acid is to mix in some base. But with this much acid, you need some serious base--the Ace of Base, if you will. Fortunately, a reader just sent me this. Let us bask in the splendor of this rolling tribute and leave the history to Ken Burns:


Anonymous said...

green jersey!!!!!

john said...

i think i just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

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don't turn around, cause you're gonna see my heart breakin'

chicoastro said...

Ever read William Gibson's "Pattern Recognition"? Your sense of aesthetics is in line with the main character Cayce Pollard. Bravo!

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Anonymous said...

It's got brakes!! Like two of them!!!

Is that allowed?

And are chain tensioners allowed on "fixies"?

swade said...

What a chainline! The piece de resistance is, of course, the singlerator. I'm saluting while vomiting.

swade said...

What a chainline! The piece de resistance is, of course, the singlerator. I'm saluting while vomiting.

Jim said...

I think I just threw up in Chazu's mouth a little bit.

bikesgonewild said...

...ahm, ah, ah...ah, nope...i got nothin'...not totally speechless but might as well be...

Jim said...

Didn't some some redneck shoot Peter Fonda off this bike at the end of the movie?

Scott said...

No, no, no, stripes! Stars and stripes, man! Not stars and Hawaiian shirt!

Doug said...

Seriously, wtf is up with anonymous "first" posts? Wtf is the point of claiming "first" glory anonymously? For starters, there's no glory in being the first comment. But wtf is the point of taking "first" without taking credit for it? Is there a more pointless way of spending your time?

Stop it.

Anonymous said...

I bet this bike is best friends with the landshark next door. Let's just hope they never mate. Please.

Anonymous said...

I think I recall seeing those tires for sale somewhere... they aren't hawaiian, but camo. Which helps us narrow down the demographic of the owner a bit more - maybe to the vicinity of Crawford, TX?

Chazu said...

LOL! Careful Jim, you'll set off a chain reaction.

Hey, check out this link. The newly-named "Bicycle Messenger of the Year" (2007 Markus Cook Award) runs derailleurs. (Scroll down for the photo after pausing for a moment of silence for Driver 8 and his crew)

Ludvig said...

And not even nightfall will hide that bike because the tyres glow in the dark:

Horror of horrors!!

Chris Mayhew said...

That bike pisses excellence.

Robosauce said...

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free...

db said...

He's using it to take his kids to school.

And the kids at school go batshit insane over it. C'mon, that's funny.

todd said...

So are bikes like these the Velospace equivalent to a fat, toothless, hillbilly chick on Myspace?

leroy said...

Oh dear.

Didn't any one tell that bike's owner "these colors don't run"?

KanyonKris said...

Please tell me that's a photoshop job! Because if that bike is real, it could cause a rupture in space/time that will transport the entire human race to a parallel universe where color doesn't exist and there are only straight lines (no curves). It would be our punishment for abusing aesthetics to that unforgivable level. Do not taunt the universe!

n8 said...

Someone old enough to have a school age kid rides this bike!

That makes it even more amazing(in the worst way).

I hope hope hope he let the kid design the bike.

Scott said...

Anonymous 11:56 AM,

Sure they're camo...and just what background would they blend into? Hawaiian shirts, of course!

Geoff said...

leroy said...

Oh dear.

Didn't any one tell that bike's owner "these colors don't run"?

No but apparently they roll. On some really god awful tires.

RaceCommuter said...

Anyone read lately

Anonymous said...

can't we skip all this and get back to what really matters? that is, arguing about how appropriate it is for a kid to paint his bike like a bad-guy flag, especially if his grandfather sees it...?

Sean Lynch said...

Anonymous 2:12,

What really matters is that the kid painted his bike to look like a flag that would piss his Granpa off.

However, when anyone looks at the bike they just figure its owner wants to star in the Broadway adaptation of "Candyland The Great Lolipop Adventure".

Its like the candy stripe bike kid is totally p4wned. Only he did it to himself!

Coming to Nickelodian this fall: "The Candy Stripe Bike Kid Saves Christmas".

He wants to be edgy and invoke hatred from seniors, but makes himself look like a Lillian Vernon frequent shopper.

His next creation will be the Lladro bike.

BotchedExperiment said...

Looks like some one puked-up some tires.

sh said...

* * * * * *
points for the Lillian Vernon ref.
(and the expansion into Lladro, of course)

pretty good for off-the-cuff.

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:12 PM,

How's 'bout someone kills your family, then I build a bike to pay homage to the killer?

Pretty cool, huh? Chicks will be leaping at my zipper, clawing at it, wanting, NEEDING to get at the goods. No doubt.

Speaking of which, maybe Gwen Stefani will write a song about your stupid dead family.

Speaking of which, I'm going to build a Gwen Stefani bike now....

Tom C said...

Someone please call Child Protective Services! This Child is clearly being ABUSED!
This kid will be in therapy for years!

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americanbike, FUCK YEAH!

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see? stupid.

Aaron M said...

Bar-ends FTW.

leroy said...

Okay, I have to give this guy a pass from further snarky comments from me.

He has brakes and commutes on that thing.

He probably isn't doing bunny hops with the Nashbar kid trailer attached.

And he lives in Tampa, which has some beautiful places to ride and some awful heat in August in which to do so.

But if someone uncovers a picture of him riding while wearing a vest like Peter Fonda wore in Easy Rider, then all bets are off.

n8 said...

This is off topic but it cant wait.

It has a Lock Loop. Because...its hard to lock a bike with a top tube pad? NO! because someone might steal your plaid pad!

Anonymous said...

how about some sweet non-political candy cane twins...

Nathan said...

Props to the guy for taking his kid to school by bike.

When I commute, I avoid schools and the area around them like the plague. There is a danger level from all the parents dropping their kids off in giant SUVs that makes me cringe.

Bozobiker said...

I think I just threw up my cotton candy on my clown shoes!

Uncle Bob said...

When I was just a nipper back in the old country, there was a ballroom dancing show on TV called "Come Dancing". It was all strictly amateur and the commentators often used to draw attention to the fact that girls' elaborate gowns were often home-made by the contestants themselves or their mothers:

"... and his partner is Doris Sidebottom from Bolton*. Her lovely gown was made at home, and features 2027 sequins sewn on by hand by her Mum."

This bike reminds me of those long-ago dancing girls. Under the flashy costume (featuring "200+ handcut reflective stars") is a perfectly sound, respectable, workaday Doris Sidebottom of a bike. Doris though knew enough to take off her finery for her commute to work at the local cotton-mill...

* For non-English types, insert one of your country's unfashionable industrial towns here.

Anonymous said...

They hand cut hundreds of glow in the dark stickers.

Do they know you can buy sheets of these pre-cut stickers? I had them all over my ceiling as a child. Or did they have to be "just right."

My hat goes off to the creator, either way. Sheer, overpowering dedication. All of our bikes should be so loved.

GhostRider said...

Thanks all for the wonderful comments...this bike is kid-designed and kid-approved; I only ride the thing.

Now, for you couple of fucksticks (I'm thinking of you, Anonymous 11:37) who don't know the difference between SINGLESPEED and fixed gear: singlespeed is a freewheel. Hence the brakes. Vertical dropouts. Hence the chain tensioner. I may have shitty taste in colors, but by God I am no dummy. My child depends on this bike to get him to school!

Anonymous 8:28, the stars are cut out of 3M reflective tape. Not glow in the dark tape.

Two pictures of my bike on Bike Snob NYC...and it was created long before we discovered you -- quite an honor, sir!

beat said...

the fugly bike's owner already has a reference to bike snob on his velospace.

Sean Lynch said...


Great bike! I'm glad the snob featured it to counteract the 'piss your grandpa off' bike.

In regards to the trail-a-bike. I just got one last monday (Columbus day) and spent the day riding with my kids. My youngest is 5 and in kindergarten. She was able to handle it perfectly at that age.

So you might have to cut some more decals in a year or two for the trail-a-bike add on.

Think of it as manifest destiny!

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