Thursday, August 23, 2007

Worst Of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #18

I carry a lot of hatred in my heart, and I reserve an entire ventricle for bike art. I'm not talking about Taliah Lempert, whose stuff is pretty cool--and from whom I will be commissioning an oil painting of me with my favorite bike. No, I'm talking about light fixtures made out of wheels, bracelets made out of spokes, clocks made of chainrings, tables made of rims, and toilet paper holders made out of head tubes. Yes, I may live and breathe cycling, but I don't want to eat on it or unfurl toilet paper from it too. So naturally this one bugged me:

art for cyclist - $150 [Original URL:]
Reply to: [delete]

Date: 2007-08-23, 10:31AM EDT

I have this handmade *bikefish* for sale. It can be painted to your choice of color.

thanks for looking

This thing has actually been on here for years, and it's clear why. As a cyclist (or as a fish enthusiast), at what point do you decide to spend $150 on something like this rather than on something for your bicycle (or your aquarium)? I mean, $150 will buy you a rideable frame (or three Black Cap Basslets)! This is the kind of thing a non-cycling friend or relative gives you and you accept really awkwardly, or that you'd find in the home of someone who wears sandals with heavy wool socks in the winter, or that you'd actually go see in order to beat the artist with it so that he never posts it again.

This thing puts the "ick" back in "ichthyology." Then again, that's one honey of a track end on there. This baby's ripe for a conversion. Just weld a few more tubes on that sucker and you've got yourself a Darwin fish. Ugh.


Unregistered Coward said...


bikesgonewild said...

...old 'john parker yeti' rear end ?? not good photo..

...artist has no integrity or belief in himself as artist..."will paint it in any color !?!?!:"

...commissioned art, yes, artist, uses input from client, ie; talia's beautiful works & renderings...

...straight up expressionist artwork, you just put it out on the market the way ya created it, if ya believe its any good...

...if it is a jp yeti, somewhere in this big world, frank the welder will be shedding a tear...

...& nybs will have one less victim ,ah, fix creator to set straight...

quaffimodo said...

I'm nearly destitute because the only thing my cat will eat are black cap basslets.

bikesgonewild said...

...quaffimodo...try live piranha... whoever's left gets to try again tomorrow.

...if yer not sentimental, it'll be exiting.

Anonymous said...

I don't care much for Picasso's black velvet paintings but his saddle with handlebar = toro, borders upon the sublime.

bikesgonewild said...

...snobasaurous, old chap... latest fgg / art series + ... just the nicest little bicycle sculpture made outa spokes...

just knew you'd think it's art, @ it's finest, eh what??

Lloyd Flandis said...

bikesnob - If you could choose any one bike to ride for the next year what would it be?

(I'm guessing lugged steel, sidepulls, 'stache bar, laquered bits, and a croched tt pad for brifter protection)

BikeSnobNYC said...


You should know by now that I eschew that kind of gimmickry. I fancy myself astride something like this:


Anonymous said...

okay, please explain... that's not REALLY your bike is it? because if so you just lost so much credibility. say it ain't so.

Anonymous said...

Why is Eddie Borysewicz riding your bike?

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