Williamsburg, Brooklyn*. Bikes are important here. If you live in a large city chances are you have a neighborhood like it in your town. It is a place where young men and women dressed in the height of fashion walk their bicycles (also dressed in the height of fashion) up and down the sidewalks like Afghan hounds. A college town without a college, it is a land where the new residents while away the increasingly large number of years between childhood and adulthood by desperately seeking things to have in common with one-another. It is also the place where I saw the only Specialized city-edition Langster I’ve ever seen outside a bike shop. (It was a Seattle edition, by the way.) Depending on your disposition or your demographic, it is either heaven or hell. Regardless, as a person interested in the increasingly important role bicycles play in this segment of society, I like to check into Craigslist Missed Connections every so often and search out the bike-related posts. It’s like seeing bike trends with bat sonar, and I’m surprised bike companies aren’t doing the same.
*[now incorporating Greenpoint and Bushwick]
bike accident on corner of nassau/mannhattan [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/mis/415226820.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-09-06, 6:00AM EDT
When i was hit by that car last night. You came to my aid! I cannot say thank-you enough to the guy who called the police and who picked me up off the ground, to the lady who gave me water, to the little crazy man who drank that water (and offered me beer) and even to the motorist who stayed behind, who was cordial, even though his freind proclaimed me as drunk and without brakes.
It was an adventure, and after several hours in the hosptial to luckly have no broken bones, all I can say, is thank-you to those who stopped thier day to help out a stranger.
cheers brooklyn!
and if that was you e-mail me so I can buy you a beer!
Location: williamsburg/greenpoint
There’s nothing funny about a car/bike collision, but this one proves a suspicion many of us have had for some time now, which is that all these new brakeless riders must be hitting something. When coupled with actual statistical evidence (as linked to in the comments section of this site some time ago by an astute reader), the evidence is nigh incontrovertible. Alas, who will save our nation’s young? Who will affix a simple caliper to the front (yes I said front) of their fixies? Who will convince them that added stopping power is more important than the ability to do bar-spins unfettered? (And who will convince them bar-spins are stupid anyway?) And who will remind them that they’re no longer covered under Mom and Dad’s insurance policy, and that one day their parents will refuse to pay for both their rent and their medical bills while they wait for their bands to become famous?
saw you with a cute track bike.... - m4w – 35 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/mis/415085357.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-09-05, 11:25PM EDT
This was a few months ago, but I remember you. My friend and I were walking back to his house when we stopped to get beer. I waited outside and I saw you with this cute little Bianchi track bike. I commented on needing a good lock and you said that your ex took it from you when you broke up. If that was an "I'm available" then I don't know what is. Anyhow, I think you're really cute and would love to take you out for dinner or something. I might be too old for you but I will leave that up to you.
Location: willie b
Ah, yes, the aged interloper. Upon getting dumped by his wife he immediately thinks back to the hot girl with the studded belt and the track bike he saw in Williamsburg six months ago and posts this gambit. If that was an “I’m available” then why didn’t you say something? When she said she didn’t have a lock, why didn’t you reply with, “Why don’t I lock your bike to a pole for you with my manhood?” She’d doubtless have replied, “Why, your manhood would have to be tremendous in order to do that!” You then could have confirmed, “Indeed.” Instead, here you are months later, writing a lame message, putting it in a bottle, and throwing it into the sea of desperation. I have a bad feeling the next step will be buying a Pista and riding it slowly through the ‘Burg, trolling for young fixie chicks like a dorkier Gordon’s fisherman.
so what color bike did you wind up getting..? [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/mis/410819190.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-08-31, 3:02PM EDT
me - apple guy from bushwick with the beard getting my handlebars looked at (in the name of safety)..
you - cute redhead wearing glasses, said that you worked at cafe grumpy, getting ready to buy a new bike...
we had some really nice small-talk about riding single speeds, coasting, commuting to work in the city, and your friend who is a chef-turned-messenger (and loving it).
i'm kicking myself for not introducing myself.
drop a line, if you wanna pick up where we left off.
Location: williamsburg/greenpoint
Flopping-and-chopping your bars is one thing. Screwing up, going to a bike shop, and asking them if they’re OK to ride is quite another. This post does prove one thing, though: coasting is the new fixed.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
New Road Bike Owner's Bill Of Rights
If you're anything like me, you find the information that new bicycles are supplied with to be woefully inadequate. There's a lot to learn when it comes to cycling, and newcomers should not be expected to have to learn everything for themselves. As such, I've been doing my best to add to the canon of literature that is supplied with new bicycles. Some time ago I proposed a fixed-gear owner's manual. However, this is only useful to a limited number of riders, and it's particularly useless when it comes to the midlife crisis sports car of bicycles, the road bike. High-end road bike buyers know their power as consumers, and they need to be reminded that they're buying just more than a piece of Taiwanese carbon fiber. Here's a laminated piece of parchment that should come with every single pro bike replica:
Italian National Champion? Tour de France Champion? World Champion? If there’s a jersey for it, you’re entitled to it. That’s right, under no circumstances should you feel awkward wearing the hardest-fought colors in the world of professional cycling on your relentless campaign to dominate the bike path. Not only is it your right to race everybody, but it’s also your right to experience the sheer thrill of dominating them while wearing the coveted Maglia Rosa.
IV) You Are Entitled To Silky-Smooth Comfort At All Times
Cycling should never involve any discomfort, especially when you’ve paid top-dollar for a high-end road bike. Remember: if you feel any pain whatsoever while riding, it is the fault of the bicycle. Fortunately, there is always a component you can purchase (or demand your bike shop swap out for you at their cost) that can alleviate that pain. A bicycle should transmit no more road sensation to you than your Range Rover. If you feel the road in any way whatsoever, switch to a carbon fork. If you still feel the road, switch to carbon bars. If that doesn’t work, get a carbon stem. If it still doesn’t work, get some gel-filled gloves and handlebar tape so that you feel like you’re grasping an overripe avocado.
V) You Should Never Have To Know What It Feels Like To Lose
When you buy a Mercedes or BMW, you get instant respect. As you drive by, people rightfully think to themselves, “Wow, that’s somebody more important and successful than me.” Well, it’s no different with your bike. Woody Allen once said, “90% of success is just showing up.” Similarly, 90% of being a good rider is looking like a good rider, and you should never have to suffer the indignity of doing poorly in a race, or being dropped, or being schooled by riders on bikes that cost less than your wheelset. It’s entirely reasonable to expect your bicycle to deliver instant results. If it doesn’t, then something’s wrong with the bike. Immediately inspect your bicycle and replace faulty components with more expensive ones.
VI) You Are Now Part Of The Club
Being a cyclist or bike racer is about one thing and one thing only: owning a bike. So don’t expect any hazing, or funny looks, or jokes at your expense. Don’t expect to have to learn to race before joining a racing team. Don’t expect to suffer, or to get dropped, and don’t expect to pay any dues. If you bought the right bike, you will enjoy immediate respect. If you’re unsure of which bike to ride, simply read the manufacturer’s website copy. It will tell you in no uncertain terms what you can expect. Congratulations, and welcome to the world of competitive cycling.
Congratulations on the purchase of your brand-new high-end road bike. Along with a pie plate, a set of reflectors, and more legal disclaimers than a Levitra commercial, your bicycle also comes with certain inalienable rights, and simply purchasing and owning this bicycle confers these rights onto you. Be sure to know these rights and to act accordingly while operating your machine.
I) The Shop That Sold You The Bike Is Indebted To You Forever
Like libraries, Planned Parenthood clinics, and public restrooms, bike shops only exist for your convenience and betterment, and should not be expected to act in their own self-interest. As such, buying a bicycle at the end of the season for a 30% discount means the shop should demonstrate its gratitude to you for as long as you live. After all, between the substantial discount and the man-hours spent serving you and building the bicycle, they almost made a profit! Remind them of that every time they won’t fix something for free, or ask you to pay for a water bottle, or bother you as you spend three hours trying on clothes so you know what size Primal jersey to order from Performance.
II) You Can Now Race Absolutely Everybody
Owning a high-end road bike means you are now part of the largest bicycle race in the world. Always remember that everybody on a road bike is engaged in a race at all times. That guy who seems to be simply spinning his legs out after a 90-mile training ride is actually attempting to lure you into complacency so that when you ride by he can pounce and beat you to the next stoplight. Don’t let that happen! Other common ploys in which wily cyclists engage include: idly chatting with another rider; stopping to fix a flat; being hit by a car; and teaching a child how to ride. If you see another rider doing any of those things, attack immediately!
III) You Are Entitled To The Title Of Your Choice
I) The Shop That Sold You The Bike Is Indebted To You Forever
Like libraries, Planned Parenthood clinics, and public restrooms, bike shops only exist for your convenience and betterment, and should not be expected to act in their own self-interest. As such, buying a bicycle at the end of the season for a 30% discount means the shop should demonstrate its gratitude to you for as long as you live. After all, between the substantial discount and the man-hours spent serving you and building the bicycle, they almost made a profit! Remind them of that every time they won’t fix something for free, or ask you to pay for a water bottle, or bother you as you spend three hours trying on clothes so you know what size Primal jersey to order from Performance.
II) You Can Now Race Absolutely Everybody
Owning a high-end road bike means you are now part of the largest bicycle race in the world. Always remember that everybody on a road bike is engaged in a race at all times. That guy who seems to be simply spinning his legs out after a 90-mile training ride is actually attempting to lure you into complacency so that when you ride by he can pounce and beat you to the next stoplight. Don’t let that happen! Other common ploys in which wily cyclists engage include: idly chatting with another rider; stopping to fix a flat; being hit by a car; and teaching a child how to ride. If you see another rider doing any of those things, attack immediately!
III) You Are Entitled To The Title Of Your Choice
Italian National Champion? Tour de France Champion? World Champion? If there’s a jersey for it, you’re entitled to it. That’s right, under no circumstances should you feel awkward wearing the hardest-fought colors in the world of professional cycling on your relentless campaign to dominate the bike path. Not only is it your right to race everybody, but it’s also your right to experience the sheer thrill of dominating them while wearing the coveted Maglia Rosa.IV) You Are Entitled To Silky-Smooth Comfort At All Times
Cycling should never involve any discomfort, especially when you’ve paid top-dollar for a high-end road bike. Remember: if you feel any pain whatsoever while riding, it is the fault of the bicycle. Fortunately, there is always a component you can purchase (or demand your bike shop swap out for you at their cost) that can alleviate that pain. A bicycle should transmit no more road sensation to you than your Range Rover. If you feel the road in any way whatsoever, switch to a carbon fork. If you still feel the road, switch to carbon bars. If that doesn’t work, get a carbon stem. If it still doesn’t work, get some gel-filled gloves and handlebar tape so that you feel like you’re grasping an overripe avocado.
V) You Should Never Have To Know What It Feels Like To Lose
When you buy a Mercedes or BMW, you get instant respect. As you drive by, people rightfully think to themselves, “Wow, that’s somebody more important and successful than me.” Well, it’s no different with your bike. Woody Allen once said, “90% of success is just showing up.” Similarly, 90% of being a good rider is looking like a good rider, and you should never have to suffer the indignity of doing poorly in a race, or being dropped, or being schooled by riders on bikes that cost less than your wheelset. It’s entirely reasonable to expect your bicycle to deliver instant results. If it doesn’t, then something’s wrong with the bike. Immediately inspect your bicycle and replace faulty components with more expensive ones.
VI) You Are Now Part Of The Club
Being a cyclist or bike racer is about one thing and one thing only: owning a bike. So don’t expect any hazing, or funny looks, or jokes at your expense. Don’t expect to have to learn to race before joining a racing team. Don’t expect to suffer, or to get dropped, and don’t expect to pay any dues. If you bought the right bike, you will enjoy immediate respect. If you’re unsure of which bike to ride, simply read the manufacturer’s website copy. It will tell you in no uncertain terms what you can expect. Congratulations, and welcome to the world of competitive cycling.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
The BSNYC Hump Day Poll Vault
Let's be honest. Who doesn't love a good poll? I think we can all agree there simply aren't enough of them. What's more, I think it's about time someone sliced and diced the world of cycling and polled the marrow out of every single aspect of it so we can see just what makes this thing tick. That way, maybe companies can come up with more and better ways to sell us stuff. So, with Interbike just over the crest of the next hill, I figured I'd go ahead and save them the trouble. If you're in the industry, no need to thank me. Consider this my "thank you" for integrated headsets, proprietary bottom brackets, and $70 cassettes.
Poll #1:
Poll #2:
Poll #3:
Poll #4:
(click here for the entry)
Poll #5:
(click here for the entry)
Poll #6:
(click here for story)
Poll #7:
Poll #8:
Poll #9:
Thank you for rocking the vote!
Poll #1:
Poll #2:
Poll #3:
Poll #4:
(click here for the entry)
Poll #5:
(click here for the entry)
Poll #6:
(click here for story)
Poll #7:
Poll #8:
Poll #9:
Thank you for rocking the vote!
Attack of the Beautiful Godzillas
Just wanted to share this entertaining and informative article from today's New York Observer about another cycling trend sweeping the city. They were also kind enough to interview me for the article, giving me the opportunity to dampen the parade of a whole new group of cyclists. Enjoy.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #19
There are few qualities less attractive than desperation. This is especially true when it comes to Craigslist ads and bicycles. An ad that might not have bothered you so much the first time becomes increasingly objectionable with every same-day re-post and $20 price drop. This is one such ad. It seems like every time I visit Craigslist it's up there in some new iteration, and it's becoming like sitting next to some pervert on the subway who keeps putting his hand in your lap.
Reply to: [deleted]
Fetish Cycles Position track bike. $850/obo (extra goodies included at $850...see below) This is a custom build, and has been ridden for less than 100 miles. Bike weighs about 16 lbs!! Light and very fast. I am a bike mechanic and take very good care of my bikes. I am willing to provide service to the buyer.
Fetish track/FIXED GEAR bike...less than 100 miles! 50cm - $850 (Inwood / Wash Hts)
[original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/412694325.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-09-03, 10:38AM EDT
Fetish Cycles Position track bike. $850/obo (extra goodies included at $850...see below) This is a custom build, and has been ridden for less than 100 miles. Bike weighs about 16 lbs!! Light and very fast. I am a bike mechanic and take very good care of my bikes. I am willing to provide service to the buyer.
OK, admittedly I'm a little uptight, but when I see "fetish," "position," and "I am willing to provide service to the buyer" in the same paragraph, my first instinct is to move on. You sure you didn't mean to put this in "Erotic Services?"
feel free to send me other offers.
In light of the above...eew.
Specs:
-frame: Fetish Cycles Position aluminum track frame, size: 50cm (decals are removable stickers!!)
Oooh, removable! That means I can replace them with stickers from companies like Fortynine Sixteen and Zoo York, as well as hilarious phrases like "My Nuts are Titanium," "One Less Car," and "This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb!" Tell me more!
-fork: carbon bladed fork (beautiful fork! check detail pic of cutout!!)
I would, but the photo looks like it was taken from space. It's more obscured than a pair of breasts on network television. From what I can see, though, I will say I've seen nicer forks on paper placemats.
-headset: Cane Creek IS sealed bearing headset
Okay.
-wheelset: Alex Crostini rims laced to Formula track hubs (these are the wheels that come on the Fuji Track Pro)
Yawn.
-Bontrager Race Lite Hard Case tires, front and rear (great grip and excellent puncture resistance)
Best tire ever.
-crank: FSA Vigorelli crankset w/48t chainring
Ugly and ISIS--my two favorite qualities in a crank.
-WTB Shadow V Progel saddle attached to Bontrager Sport seatpost
Wow, it's already attached. You are a mechanic, aren't you?
-NOTE: bar setup option: ITM Mantis 120mm road stem w/Ritchey Pro road drop bar ---OR--- Ritchey WCS 105mm road stem w/Ritchey Pro aerobase (bullhorn) bar. see pics for different setups.
In other words, you can set this up as a really ugly race bike, or as a really ugly posing bike. Sweet!
NOTE:
If you buy the bike for $850, you will also receive these extra goodies:
-both bar setups listed above (so you can change according to your mood!)
Do you have a bar setup for "irritated?" Because that's what I'm feeling now.
-Xpedo Ti SPD clipless pedals (these pedals retail for over $200!!!) email me for pic.
Yes, please email me a crappy satellite photo of your overpriced Wellgo pedals. The ones in the Nashbar catalog aren't clear enough.
-four (4) track cogs (14, 16, 17, 18), one (1) track lockring, one (1) freewheel lockring (for the flip side of the hub), and one (1) Hogan lockring wrench (cogs and rings shown in pics)
This is one (1) ugly bike. You've posted it about fifty (50) times already and it hasn't sold. Perhaps now is the time (x) to take it to eBay (eBay). By the way, unless the Hulk's making bike tools now, that's a Hozan wrench you're including.
email me with any questions, or for larger pics, or call/text [deleted]. Thanks!
Yes, please send a 5' by 10' print of this one so I can put it in my living room. I have a fetish for ugly bikes and poor photography. And I particularly like this one, because the bike looks like some hideous farm animal, and the cogs look like its droppings:
Friday, August 31, 2007
Fixedgeargallery: Significance vs. Frivolity
Today is an auspicious day in the world of fixed-gears. In case you live in some kind of media Hoover, today marks the unveiling of “The Riddle” bike. What is “The Riddle” bike? Well, it’s only the most important fixed-gear ever. Just check out the owner’s intro, which reads like an Academy Award speech and a PhD dissertation had a baby.
On the other hand, on the very same day, we have this:
Yes, it's a bikesdirect special photographed in front of a washer/dryer. The juxtaposition of this with "The Riddle" saddens me. "The Riddle" boasts "Pan African colors inspired by Marcus Garvey." This bike has glasses frames and polaroids for spoke cards. Oh, and a front Aerospoke that appears to have been polished with the same cleaning agent as the linoleum floor on which it sits. Seriously, after "The Riddle" bike, the longer I look at this thing the angrier I get. Could the owner have put less thought into this? Couldn't he have at least dragged it outside? There are three bottles of detergent visible in the photo, for chrissakes! And, this was the first bike on the list today! "The Riddle" was like fifth down.
The owner explains that “The Riddle” represents his “own personal interpretation of diaspora cultures as they exist in this day and age... and the celebration of life.” Yes! But this is more than just a rolling work of art. I don’t think I’m hyperbolizing when I say that “The Riddle” bike is the messiah of fixed-gears. Anyone who’s agonized over what color top tube pad to buy, or whether his chain should match his Ourys, or whether to go with a Brooks or a vintage Turbo, should hang his head in shame. Your bike is simply a tribute to your own vanity. “The Riddle” bike is a tribute to humanity. You’re grappling with issues of appearance; this guy is grappling with our existence on this planet. Plus, this guy designed this bike on a one-year sabbatical. A one-year sabbatical! I certainly can’t approach that level of dedication. Granted, I once took two weeks off to shop for a pair of bib shorts, but to be completely honest I spent a lot of that time watching TV.
Ordinarily I’d make some comment about the bike lacking a brake, but in this case I don’t think“The Riddle” bike should be fettered with anything that would impede its forward progress. I will say this to the owner however—do not ever lock this bike up outside. If you do, you’ll probably come back out to find Bono gnawing at your U-lock, or Bob Geldof simply humping it.
Owner of “Riddle Bike:” congratulations and respect. Ride and enjoy. Seriously. The rest of you: over the long weekend, think about how meaningless your bikes and lives are. And I don't exempt myself from that.
Ordinarily I’d make some comment about the bike lacking a brake, but in this case I don’t think“The Riddle” bike should be fettered with anything that would impede its forward progress. I will say this to the owner however—do not ever lock this bike up outside. If you do, you’ll probably come back out to find Bono gnawing at your U-lock, or Bob Geldof simply humping it.
Owner of “Riddle Bike:” congratulations and respect. Ride and enjoy. Seriously. The rest of you: over the long weekend, think about how meaningless your bikes and lives are. And I don't exempt myself from that.
On the other hand, on the very same day, we have this:
Yes, it's a bikesdirect special photographed in front of a washer/dryer. The juxtaposition of this with "The Riddle" saddens me. "The Riddle" boasts "Pan African colors inspired by Marcus Garvey." This bike has glasses frames and polaroids for spoke cards. Oh, and a front Aerospoke that appears to have been polished with the same cleaning agent as the linoleum floor on which it sits. Seriously, after "The Riddle" bike, the longer I look at this thing the angrier I get. Could the owner have put less thought into this? Couldn't he have at least dragged it outside? There are three bottles of detergent visible in the photo, for chrissakes! And, this was the first bike on the list today! "The Riddle" was like fifth down.
Way to bury the lead, Fixedgeargallery.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
BSNYC Thursday Fun Quiz!
I've put together a little quiz. It incorporates some items and bikes readers have been kind enough to email me, as well as some things I've happened upon myself. The way it works is this: simply read the question, make your choice, and then click on it. If you're correct, you'll see the item. If you're not, you'll see this image of former US pro champion, race promoter, and soporific commentator John Eustice making a point. Obviously, you may be able to figure out the correct answer by mousing over the link before clicking. Since I can't stop people from cheating, I'll simply rely on the honor system. Anyway, pencils ready and good luck.
1) $10 will buy you the following must-have accessory:
--A holster for your U-lock
--A pair of nylon crank arm protectors
--An integrated belt buckle/lockring tool
--A presta/schraeder adapter finger ring
2) If you absolutely must use a brake on an NJS bike, the correct solution is:
--Change your fork
--Drill your fork
--Use a clamp-on brake
--Use a coaster brake
3) Roadies like to hug each-other during races.
--True
--False
4) The front Aerospoke of ’08 will be:
--The 32-spoke box section wheel
--The 28-spoke radial aero wheel
--The Skyway BMX mag wheel
--The Campagnolo disc wheel
5) You can only use one top tube pad on a bike:
--True
--False
6) It is currently fashionable to tape your bars only halfway down so that they resemble a dog’s erection.
--True
--False
7) Which of the following can you purchase?
--A $39 Burberry print helmet satchel
--A $49 “lumber-track” hip pouch
--A $29 fixed-gear specific wrist wallet
--A pair of $89 Louis Vuitton-print shin guards
8) Which of the following can you also purchase?
--A hoodie with an integrated bandana
--Skinny jeans with an integrated chamois
--Recessed cleat-compatible canvas sneakers
--A winter jacket with integrated messenger bag
1) $10 will buy you the following must-have accessory:
--A holster for your U-lock
--A pair of nylon crank arm protectors
--An integrated belt buckle/lockring tool
--A presta/schraeder adapter finger ring
2) If you absolutely must use a brake on an NJS bike, the correct solution is:
--Change your fork
--Drill your fork
--Use a clamp-on brake
--Use a coaster brake
3) Roadies like to hug each-other during races.
--True
--False
4) The front Aerospoke of ’08 will be:
--The 32-spoke box section wheel
--The 28-spoke radial aero wheel
--The Skyway BMX mag wheel
--The Campagnolo disc wheel
5) You can only use one top tube pad on a bike:
--True
--False
6) It is currently fashionable to tape your bars only halfway down so that they resemble a dog’s erection.
--True
--False
7) Which of the following can you purchase?
--A $39 Burberry print helmet satchel
--A $49 “lumber-track” hip pouch
--A $29 fixed-gear specific wrist wallet
--A pair of $89 Louis Vuitton-print shin guards
8) Which of the following can you also purchase?
--A hoodie with an integrated bandana
--Skinny jeans with an integrated chamois
--Recessed cleat-compatible canvas sneakers
--A winter jacket with integrated messenger bag
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