Riding to the Ride

As you know, recently I wrote a column for Outside about the virtues of riding to the ride:

As you may also know, a high percentage of people who leave comments on Outside's Facebook page are apparently idiots.  In addition to the person who stated that "there wouldn't be ANY roads without cars" (that's not just stupid, that's "holy fuck" stupid), there are also people who just plain miss the point:

Yeah, that's why people are lobbying for legal trails in Forest Park.  I live in New York City and even I know that.

As well as people who think riding to the ride is just for people like me who live in Iowa(!?!):

Or who think that you can't ride to a ride because you live in a city:

Indeed, reading the comments you'd almost think that Outside's audience is more into purchasing SUVs and fitting them with racks and accessories than they are into actually riding.

But we all know that couldn't possibly be true.

Anyway, I enjoyed a lovely all-terrain bicycle ride this past Saturday without resorting to the use of a motor vehicle, and for what it's worth--which may be nothing--I figured I'd share how it's possible to do in New York City.  Furthermore, not only did I ride a mountain bike, but I rode a singlespeed mountain bike, which one would naturally assume is the type of bicycle least disposed to ride-to-the-ride enjoyment.  And of course, now that I'm on Strava I can share with you the minutiae of the ride, which if you're local may come in handy for ride planning, or if you're not will certainly be useful in laughing at how slow I am.

So without further etc. and so forth, here's the ride:

I begin in Van Cortlandt Park, where a few pedal strokes deposits me onto a dirt trail that runs right through the middle of the park:

If you go keep going north you wind up on a paved multi-use rail-trail called the South County Trailway, but on the way up I often like to branch off to the right and hike up a little embankment to the Old Croton Aqueduct trail:

That's what I made the participants of this past spring's Pre-Fondon't ride do, and believe it or not a report of that sub-epic quasi-adventure is still in the works:

I also promise to lead a proper Fondon't--or at least some kinda ride--soon.

By the way, I should point out that, strictly speaking, bikes aren't allowed on that little spur, but since the embankment's not rideable anyway and you're basically pushing the bike the whole time I feel okay about it.

In any case, once I'm on the Old Croton Aqueduct I just keep going through Tibbetts Brook Park:

Mind you, I've been on dirt this whole time, which is pretty darn impressive considering I don't live in Iowa, contrary to what people who read Outside seem to believe:

At the top end of Tibbetts Brook Park I head west and then pick up the South County Trailway, which is paved, but which is car-free and pleasantly undulating so I don't mind:

From there, I have a sneaky way of cutting over to Tuckahoe Road (gigglechortle), which is one of the few sections of the ride that kinda blows:

Fortunately I'm only on Tuckahoe (gigglechortle) for like a mile, and because it's practically a highway I just say "Fuck it" and ride on the sidewalk.

I have no idea whether or not it's legal to ride on the sidewalk in Yonkers, but because there are virtually no pedestrians on this street and nobody seems to care I have no compunctions about doing it.

Slightly less sucky is Ridge Hill Boulevard, which is basically a dedicated roadway leading to a shopping mall "lifestyle center:"

And yes, it's pretty steep so of course it's a Strava segment:

Here too I ride on the sidewalk, because there's no shoulder, and also because I have deep contempt for soulless corporate retail complexes like this, even though I totally shop there too.  In fact, as usual I stopped in Whole Foods, and you can even see my path through the store because I didn't bother to pause Strava:

What Strava does not tell you is that I got some trail mix (I prefer the "360 Treasure Hunt" variety) and a 360 Cola to stuff in my backpack, an admixture which can sustain me for days if necessary.  In fact, I'm eating some of the trail mix right now, even as I type this.

From there, I pedal through the mall and pass through a small gate behind the REI to Sprain Ridge Park where the "mountain biking" begins in earnest:

It's just a touch over 8 miles from my home to the park, which isn't so bad when you consider a fair amount of it's dirt, most of it is car-free trails, and there's both a Whole Food and an REI for any last-minute ride needs.

Anyway, I knocked around in Sprain for a little while:

Which is when I realized that at some point I'd ridden through dog feces which my front wheel had thrown up onto my water bottle:

Anybody who does not clean up after a dog should be forced to eat the entire contents of a cat litter box that has gone uncleaned for a week.

If time is of the essence, once I'm done at Sprain I ride back the way I came since it's mostly downhill and I can make good time.  However, if I have more time I head west out of the park in the direction of Hastings-On-Hudson:

Hastings-on-Hudson prides itself on being a "walkable" village, but that's mostly bullshit, because apart from walking to the gourmet ice cream shop or the gluten-free bakery they all have drive to the mall when they actually need something useful, which means this stretch of kinda sucks.  Here too I use the sidewalk (at least where there is a sidewalk).  However, it's just a short ride over to the Old Croton Aqueduct, and from there it's all dirt most of the way--plus it's flat which is nice after all those short, sharp climbs in Sprain:

There's just one short sidewalk stretch between the Old Croton Aqueduct and the South County Trailway:

And then it's a straight run back into Van Cortlandt Park:

So 25 miles, plenty of dirt, and mostly pleasant and slog-free safe for a few very brief shitty parts.  (And any actual shit you may be unfortunate enough to encounter.)  All in all not too shabby if I do say so myself.

Perhaps a Dirt Fondon't is in order.

I'll have to run it by Brooks.