Monday, March 14, 2016

Over The Bars and Through the Woods...

As you may have gathered from last Friday's post, I took advantage of the spring-tastic weather by slipping out for a bicycle ride.  It was still overcast in the morning when we rolled out, but by the time we reached WASP base camp the sun had begun to disperse the clouds like protesters at a Trump rally:


(WASPs tend to assemble at country clubs.)

I mention all this by way of a public service announcement.  See, owing to the slight dampness I had opted for a bike with fenders, pictured here on a different and far wetter day:


These particular fenders, as it happens, do not have those plastic breakaway mounting thingies at the eyelets:


Unlike, say, the fenders on my old Scattante, which are sitting in a corner now because they wouldn't fit on the Milwaukee:


In case you don't know, the purpose of these brackets is so if something gets stuck in your fender it pops out instead of jamming up your front wheel and sending you flying over the bars.

Well, guess what happened on Friday?

Fortunately I was nearly home when the incident occurred and I've only got a busted digit to show for it, which means I got off very easy when you consider all the other injuries I might have incurred.

And most importantly, my middle finger remains intact, so I can still flip people off.

So what I'm saying is make sure your front fender has those breakaway brackets so you don't wind up having to change baby diapers with one hand.

This has been a BSNYC/RTMS Pubic Service Announcement:


Speaking of rules, while you should make sure your fenders have safety brackets, you can pretty much ignore every single one of these:


In fact I'd go so far as to argue that the more of these rules you're breaking the better a cyclist you are, since there's a direct correlation between adhering to "The Rules" and being a terminal Fred.

In particular, this rule strikes me as being particularly foolish:

Rule #31 // Spare tubes, multi-tools and repair kits should be stored in jersey pockets.

Why?  From a practical standpoint, following this rule takes up jersey real estate that might better be used for carrying fuel, stowing shucked arm warmers, and so forth.  And from an aesthetic standpoint since when is having bulging, saggy jersey pockets sartorially appealing?  Indeed, I'd go so far as to say that overloaded jersey pockets are second only to chainring tattoos when it comes to "charity ride chic:"


No offense, of course:


("None taken.")

And let's not forget that, when you go flying over your bars because something got stuck in your non-breakaway fender, the last thing you need is to land on a jersey pocket with a multitool in it.  (Unless you want a "tramp stamp" in the shape of an Allen key.)

Nevertheless, here's a new Kickstarter project based entirely on this "Rule #31:"



Yeah, because this is cooler than using a saddlebag somehow:


It's like a pencil case for Freds:



And everyone knows only the nerds used pencil cases.  If you were cool you grubbed a writing implement from the dork next to you at the beginning of class, assuming you even bothered to write in school.  Sure, you're a giant loser now, but it's worth it for the air of insouciance you projected in sixth grade.

In other product news, meet the "HexLox:"



No, HexLox is not some sort of accursed salmon that tastes great on a bagel:


(HëxLöx)

It's actually a new component theftproofing kit that lets you use your existing bolts:


And it seems like a pretty good idea, too...just as long as you're the sort of person who's good at holding onto keys.

Indeed, if only Femke had used the HexLox then maybe the UCI wouldn't have been able to open her bottom bracket and find the motor in her bike--though now she's just saying "screw it" and quitting the sport altogether:


"After consulting with my lawyers and my family, I have decided to discontinue my defence at the hearing in Aigle," she said, according to Sporza.be.

"I have decided for myself to stop cyclo-cross," she said, adding that the public had already decided her case anyhow. "The costs of the meeting in Switzerland will be too high for me. An acquittal is impossible, the bike was in my pit zone."

This is tremendously disappointing since it deprives us of the potentially humorous spectacle of a hearing, though at the same time I suppose nobody should be surprised that someone lazy enough to use a motorized bicycle would also be too lazy to mount a defense.

Lastly, here's Andy White of Fyxomatosis on how to trackstand:




Egads!  No brakes, no helmet, hands off the bars?  In Australia!?!  That's like $2,000 in fines!!!

He's probably in prison even as you read this.

We may have to do a Kickstarter to bail him out.

96 comments:

Unknown said...

Note 21. (Paragraph 128) Since many people may find paradoxical the notion that a large number of good things can add up to a bad thing, we illustrate with an analogy. Suppose Mr. A is playing chess with Mr. B. Mr. C, a Grand Master, is looking over Mr. A’s shoulder. Mr. A of course wants to win his game, so if Mr. C points out a good move for him to make, he is doing Mr. A a favor. But suppose now that Mr. C tells Mr. A how to make ALL of his moves. In each particular instance he does Mr. A a favor by showing him his best move, but by making ALL of his moves for him he spoils his game, since there is not point in Mr. A’s playing the game at all if someone else makes all his moves.

Unknown said...

The situation of modern man is analogous to that of Mr. A. The system makes an individual’s life easier for him in innumerable ways, but in doing so it deprives him of control over his own fate.

JuanOffhue said...

Happy Pi Day!

McFly said...

3/14 it's National Pi Day kids! Get out there and enjoy yourself 3.1416 inches of Pi!

Astroluc (Find me on Tumblr and Instagram @Astroluc) said...

4th... so close

JuanOffhue said...

Might have to get some HexLox. My wheels are secured with Pitlocks, but my hand-champfered Brooks is not.

BloodyBrit said...

I bloody love being in the GMT. BSNYC just before we fuck off and go on the piss

Mr. A said...

I am the master of my domain! I also am a Master with a Madone.

Anonymous said...

Rule #5: Harden the fuck up...as told by an Australian. Guess you'll have to harden the fuck up with all those fines being paid out.

cdinvb said...

Clockery! Good morning. I' retired. I don't give a damn what time is on the clock.

Unknown said...

Disappointed to hear Femke parroting (parakeeting?) the standard dopers defense of 'it's all rigged against me.

N/A said...

I'm glad you survived your bikeen fender accident, Wildcat. You don't mention wearing a helment, but I'd assume not. This, obviously, explains the busted finger.

crosspalms said...

Sorry about your digit. I've been glad more than once that my fenders have those plastic escape hatches.

N/A said...

Jersey pockets don't have room for a bunch of Fred crap. You put your weed in there.

N/A said...

Femke's family spent all their lawyering-up monies on their bird-theft ring. They had nothing left for the defense of what was discovered in her pit-zone.

BenDE said...

Ah yes, the bike/fender junction. Thanks for your enlightening anecdote and analysis. Here in God's temperate Wolkendschungel, the biggest problem is getting them to not rattle to bits and fall on the side of the road in pieces after thousands of winter Kms. I had always assumed that industry made them flimsy just to keep up business. Now I will have to find new reasons to hate them as it is clear they are actually looking out for me....

NourskSiklist said...

Top 20! That Meldonium is really kicking in. Sorry to hear of your injury. I admire your one-handed typing skills, though. Or did you dictate to Vito or Manuel?

And two posts by Ted the work shy anarchist? That's at least two too many.

Domo arigato Mister Robotto

Anonymous said...

I can just feel the enthusiasm for the Rule 31 pouch ... ZERO backers on Kickstarter! Seems destined for epic success!

ken e. said...

the unwritten rule that you should stay soft and not go out in the rain is my favourite.uggh with this weather.

janinedm said...

John L, it's how dopers think, right? Them and salmon. "Of course x is bad, but I'm an exception because reasons.

Also, I rode over to a baby shower in New Jersey on Saturday and got to experience the pageantry of the GWB on a 60 degree day. Those Velominati might be onto something with the prohibition against shorts being any color but black. There was a guy with white shorts and a fenders bike and his shorts were gross. I was trying to take it easy because I wanted to arrive fresh for the shower, but I had to pass him and his baked in butt dirt.

Finally, and this is almost too stupid top even air in public, but I think one of my regular Cat 6 competitors has taken to motor doping. He used to be laughably slow on his road bike (mind you, I did not care that he was slow, but he was so slow and joylessly focused. shoot, you're riding a bike, enjoy yo'self). Anyway, he's been dropping me like a stone lately despite continuing to have Kat Moss's calves and I smell a rat.

Very Slim Pickens said...

Sorry to hear about the injury. I suppose a good outcome would be a massive swelling of the finger, then you can give people a Big Bird.

In cycling news, Saturday saw the "Grant's Tomb Criterium". Over 500 Fred's roaring round and round where Grant is trying to get some rest and Riverside Church. Ulysses must have rolled over in his grave.

Office of Preet Bharara said...

Janine at 1152: Rat smelling in NYC will eventually lead you to a politician.

NHcycler said...

While I'd agree that almost all of "the Rules" are pure entertainment, Rule #5 (HTFU) is most certainly anti-Fred. Fred would never expose his crabon Specialized to a drop of rain or a temperature below 72F.

WCRM, I hope the finger heals soon. I badly jammed my middle finger once (hey, I was playin' American football!); my buddies still chide me on that perpetual FU the splint had me give everyone. This, too, shall pass.

A few years ago, I thought I was so clever to leave a few locks at strategic bike racks here and there. They're still there, rusting forlornly, and I've no idea where the keys are!

NHcycler said...

Astroluc, you're in luck!

We don't count Ted K. That means you're on the podium!

janinedm said...

Thanks to autocorrect, I have to amend my earlier post. Senior white shorts had a fenderless bike, hence the mud butt. And maybe-motor guy has calves like Kate Moss or 2005-era Nicole Richie.

Anonymous said...

Not sure if you're aware, but Pitlock already makes a similar product to Hexlock. Except that it's not keyed:

https://www.pitlock.de/en/shop/new-pit-stopper-antitheft-for-all-bicycle-components-with-allen-screws/pit-stopper.html

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Balls! I'm late to the sprint!

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Dayglo cycling jersies, lycra pants and clown cycling shoes don't make us look dorky enough. It's much better to jam tools, food, tubes and other flotsam into the rear pockets of a jersey. I'm starting a kickstart for a narrow backpack sort of thing, with some pockets for tools and food, and who knows, maybe a water bladder for drinking. It may catch on.

Prison Sex Kickstarter Campaign said...

Near the end of the Imabummer Manifesto, Ted summarizes why he deserves a serious prison beatdown:

231. Throughout this article we’ve made imprecise statements and statements that ought to have had all sorts of qualifications and reservations attached to them; and some of our statements may be flatly false. Lack of sufficient information and the need for brevity made it impossible for us to formulate our assertions more precisely or add all the necessary qualifications.

Seriously Fuckhead Ted??! You mean you admit that your tedious wishy-washy bullshit is a pantload of wishy-washy bullshit, and you think it suffers from brevity? Well Fuck you. Fortunately Big Louie, the 3rd shift prison guard on cell block D was agreed to administer a combination waterboarding with a batch of particularly pungent Pruno, and your standard splintered broom handle job for a mere $40, cuz he's basically in agreement anyway. So pledge what you can for the satisfaction of knowing a sadistic moron is getting what he deserves.

Risks and Challenges: He might die, but nobody cares.

Prison Fred said...

Rule #31 // Spare tubes, multi-tools and repair kits should be stored up your backside.

Anonymous said...

Last night's episode of Family Guy showed Peter dressed up as a fred and apologizing to Brian "Sorry, I am one of these guys now". I think they owe BikeSnob some royalties.

I am no robot

balls™ said...

Those rules... It's all about the bike, except for the next 95 rules which are mostly about fashion and being a cock.

dop said...

The wasp base! We passed that on the fondon't!

Anonymous said...

The Rules are 99% Pure Fredness - we will never be fast or be good or even enjoy what we do but by god we are going to pretend to ourselves that we look awesome like a bunch of old dopers that we idolize for being better at cheating than their contemporaries.

I think they have their No Saddlebags rule because they believe that 100% of life must be spent in imitation of pro cyclists, who of course never get groceries and always have a neutral support car. Presumably these imitation pros just call a cab when they get a flat because they're too cool to carry a spare tube.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

I've often thought that all of us bike-cyclists except maybe the real pro's should be required to obtain a cycling attire license. This license number would be required for any kit purchase. To get a license you'll need to provide age, height, weight, sex and pictures. Go into a bike shop, want to buy those shorts or jersey, show your license. Buying online, enter your license number. Buying a gift for someone, you'll need to provide their license number, or no purchase. The license number would prevent people from buying inappropriate cycling kit. Shop sales person would just say "I'm sorry, but you're not approved for that kit, I can't sell it to you. Online, you get a message that your order cannot be approve, please try again.

A bit totalitarian perhaps, but it will eliminate white shorts on guys, seeing 20 pounds of shit in a 10 pound sack, primal wear anything, Pink Floyd and Three Stooges jerseys. I would gladly submit to a license for the greater good of the cycling community.

Grump said...

Fenders are for "woosies". "Real" men don't mind cleaning their bike after a rain ride. Same goes for the "Stripe of manlyhood" that goes all the way up their back.



Roille Figners said...

Rule #1: Your silly site about frivolous unnecessary rules should load within 5 seconds. But at least they put all the rules on one page instead of trying to generate clicks.

Rule #2: Do not make frivolous rules. Avoid those who make frivolous rules. Rule-makers attract rule-followers, and you know how they are.

Some people just aren't comfortable with an environment that has no rules to follow. The door to the cage is wide open but they close it, locking themselves inside. It's like a Ted K wet dream/nightmare!

Those silver fenders are Planet Bike baybee. Best cheap accessories for the People, and apparently they thought of your safety too! (I didn't know what the plastic deal was for until now.)

DB said...

Man, that's a lot of rules.

Hope the finger heals in a hurry.

Comment deleted said...

Does this mean it's ok to wear my glasses under my helmet straps now?

N/A said...

I got tired of having mud and water sprayed up on my chamois, so I quit wearing chamois and just roll nekkid. I just smear a little proofhide on my cheeks and get to mashin'.

Fred Fruitloops said...

So sorry to read about your injured digit. That must have hurt like a mudda fucahhh.

Nice long ride Saturday hear in NH - dirt roads were a wee bit squishy for 23mm tires.

Knüt Fredriksson said...

Wildcat,

I can empathize... Many moons ago I dislocated a finger and tore one of the tendons from the bone whilst crashing on my biekcicle. I was in a group ride on a windy day and the guy in front of me decided that he had had enough and sat up without warning. My front wheel overlapped his back wheel, then slid up and over when the tires made contact and I landed on my finger. No fender criminality was suspected. I remember that I could ride with my finger in a cast, but the bumps hurt a lot...

Hope you heal fast so you can get back to two finger typing, instead of just the one!

Dave said...

On the W&OD (where no motorized vehicles of any kind are allowed) I recently saw, on the same day, an electric unicycle, probably a "Mobbo", and later I was passed by a full-on electric bike not even pretending to be a normal cyclist. And when I caught him briefly at a light, he had the nerve to turn and look at me with the Lance Dominator stare.

President Trump no doubt will convert all bike trails and lanes into no-rules, motorized Rollerball-style highways, with prizes for high mayhem scores. Can't wait.

Steely Danzig said...

Rule #1- There are no rules!

Anonymous said...

Glad you are ok. I understand it's pretty warm in NYC I still gleefully imagine a lump of frozen urine got caught between your wheel and your fender.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

The rules of how to be an anal retentive douchebag?

Vernal Magina said...

I kind of dig the HexLox, actually seems like a practical kinda thing. Who would've thunk something practical would ever show up on a site like Kickstarter...

But I prefer these two alternate definitions for the name --

Vis a vis BSNYC's salmon extrapolation, how's about it's the curse that fells a bike salmon whereupon they get hit by a car a block after they pass you.

Or, if you like, the Seattle version: the curse a bike salmon puts on you as they pass you with an upraised middle finger extended for your perusal.

HexLox.

Unknown said...

vsk said,

Senior Snob, I hope your sprain was not too Babblesque.
I am reminded of the comic routine ... "Put some ice on it" ... sprained ankle? Put some ice on it, broken leg? put some ice on it. Heart attack? Put some ice on it etc.

Fenderstop? I was thinking about the over the bar / rear wheel lockup action on the Fondon't with my cobbled together Randanoouah. 650b Lefol fenders are meant to stay put! I have old Bluemels on some of my others. They're so brittle and taped together that they'd just shatter with no resistance.

Feel better!

vsk

Anonymous said...

Thems a whole lotta rules, almost 100 really anal rules, for really really really (~100 reallys) anal riders....

Anonymous said...

Yikes, I actually took a screwdriver/hammer to those stupid break-away things on the last set of fenders I bought because I couldn't stand the tiny amount of rattle/play that they added. There's a normal fender mount under there if you break all the plastic off. I almost broke a finger during this process, so I'm figuring I have already suffered their wrath and won't have any more issues. I always figured the fender itself would break long before it would be able to chuck me over the bars. Have you lost some weight or is my grasp of physics not what I thought it was?

Trevor said...

I've been just using hot glue in my Allen bolt heads as a deterrent. Thief will hopefully see something in the bolt and move on to another easier to steal pieces off of bike. The hot glue is easy enough to pick out should you have to adjust something mid ride and no worries about a key.

bad boy of the north said...

I guess it was some fender bender,uh,breaker,huh?well,feel better.no criminality suspected.

Anonymous said...

BSTD D_GT

N/A said...

Another old-school trick is to glue a small ball-bearing in an allen-head bolt. You can pick it out with a small screwdriver or knife point, but if you're not familiar with what it is, it confounds the stupid.

Regular guy said...

I see that WCRM is a Gigantic Pussy Weenie Hypocrite. He has, on multiple occasions, insisted on following Velominati Rule #37. A rule I steadfastly break every time I don any sort of headgear that include chin straps.

I also followed rule #40 this morning as I swapped my studded tires for tires more suitable for the early spring weather we've been subjected to. Usually I pay no attention to that, but something deep down inside me, or someplace else, told me to align the tire labels to the valve stem holes.

I actually like the teeny tiny socket cap screw lock.

dancesonpedals said...

In 2001 the duffle bag I hung from the handlebars got caught in the spokes, sending me endo landing on my head (no fenders necessary). Good for a couple of catscans and a weekend in the county trauma unit.

DOIKER said...

Femke is quite the good sport.

A Touch of DeVlaeminck said...

Drag about the finger, heal up for FONDON'T.

Scattante >>>> Milwaukee?!

Paul Bowen said...

I'll give them my saddle bag when they pry it from my cold, dead rails.

Anonymous said...

I have spent all day gardening. Does this mean that I cannot do track stands even outside of Australia?

B-9, Class M-3 General Utility Non-Theorizing Environmental Control Robot.

Anonymous said...

Fyxo is in Melbourne (they say in Melburn). The fuss is in Sydney. We probably get fined here too...but we're less ridiculous. The confusion is like being accused of a travesty you did commit, but not on this occasion.

Freddy Murcks said...

Good for Femke. The further she is from the UCI and organized bike racing the happier she is likely to be.

Roille Figners said...

Well, here it comes: Honda "drops" a semi-autonomous $20,000 vehicle:

thinly-disguised advertisement planted in WSJ by PR firm retained by Honda, through on-staff auto-industry mole ("automotive editor")

1904 Cadardi said...

Doing a quick and fearless inventory of the rulez:

Sun glass arms go under the helmet (makes it possible to take of the helmet without removing glasses)
Glasses are stored by tucking one arm in the back collar of the jersey, not the helmet
Tan lines aren't that crisp because stretchy clothes are from various manufacturers
There is a frame pump under the top tube because mini-pumps always suck

Anyone know when the next 12 step meeting for Freds Anonymous is happening?

(Good luck on the finger, Snob!)


Dick Breaks said...

I have read the Velominati rules and even in the deepest throes of nuevo Fredism I realized that most of them were nothing more than a bunch of silly fashion rules formulated by douchey douchebags who care more about the way that they look than they care about riding their bikes. If I wanted to be offensive, I would surely describe the rules as being 'faggoty.'

Serial Retrogrouch said...

The key to safety when it comes to fenders is size. size does matter. and more important than size is space between it and tire. basically, you want a really loose fit... but tight at the eyelets.

A tight fit should only be reserved for when a filth prophylactic is not needed. Just remember to lube.

WIZ !! JAY said...

Sorry about your accident Snob. Ironically, I should have seen the foreshadowing all over the road, written as close to the right side curb as safely possible, and warned you of impending doom in the comments on Friday. I was hit by a car Thursday night - idiot admitted he was 'not paying attention at all' after literally turning left directly into me, crushing my left foot and toes between the bumper and my pedal, to the extent my pedal broke, pierced through the sole of my shoe, sock, and absurd amount of lint. Flew about 10 feet after putting a dent in the fender and breaking off the driver mirror (didn't need it anyway). A splint, 10 stitches, potential tendon repair, and a weekend of Candy Crush later, I'm doing ok. Driver seemed drunk, but was still talking to the po po when I left in the meat wagon. I'm mostly pissed because I had to cancel my normal Friday pedicure and may need therapy to cope with the fact I'll never be a foot model. :-(

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Rule #63 // Point in the direction you’re turning.

The only rule I wholeheartedly agree with.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

WIZ... sorry to hear that. I hope your battle scars will be healed completely.
My hand still hurts from being crushed almost a year ago... I also destroyed his sideview mirror... don't think he needed it.
I hope you fare better.

bad boy of the north said...

wiz!!jay..sorry to hear about your injuries....yikes!

bad boy of the north said...

hey!who's greg leman,anyway?must be an old bikey race winner from france,unless someone is using the queen's English in the spelling of lemond.

bad boy of the north said...

...or apparently,perhaps,left coast Washingtonian-speak.

Dooth said...

I love love love riding in bad weather...that doesn't make me a badass. I swear it doesn't. Seriously, for real--not a badass.

bad boy of the north said...

maybe the grand fondon't will have to have added words to the name.the grand fondon't fall over?(maybe for the autumn?)grand fondon't somersault(summer)grand fondon't spring forward(I wonder which season)...someone do the winter one...my brain's tired.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Bad boy, it's pronounced "Leman", but en Francaise it's spelled Lemans or Le Monde. Must mean those rules don't mean shit!

Anonymous said...

What rule will I be breaking while riding my fendered bike on rollers this evening?

Atomic Man said...

Don't install a fender unless you've got at least 10mm clearance all around. They taught us that at Bard.

bad boy of the north said...

LO,true enough.

Ric said...

The situation of modern man is analogous to that of Mr. T. I pity the fool who don't have control over his own fate.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Are you gonna run breakaway fenders on your new fatbike?

BamaPhred said...

DNF, Scranus

Some guy from upstate said...

Doesn't whatever got stuck in the fender just rattle its way up until it gets to the tire/fork crown juncture, where nothing will give anyway?

I like it when wet snow gets jammed in there and it comes out the front like a playdough fun factory.

WIZ !! JAY said...

Thanks guys. And yes, I was asked approximately 6 times if I was wearing my helment (once while actually WEARING my helment!). I was going to make a comment that my FOOT was injured, but decided it would be better to point out I had my "retina-searing light cannon" headlight, which when inspected evoked a 'holy shit yeah that's bright' by the EMT who 'rides the 29er into work a couple times a week,' and a 5 LED flashing tail light. Completing my dorktastic ensemble - reflective sidewalls (28s running 65 psi), reflective yellow vest with reflective 'Amish triangle' on my backpack and AYHSMB ass-saver. I hate to think of the victim blaming had I not been implementing every possible aspect of bike safety any of them had ever seen.....

Be Safe Be Seen said...

@WIZ!! JAY - its good to read that all your hi-viz and bright lights made you safe and worked as advertised.

Be Safe Be Seen from the asshats in Frummunda who bought you this shite.

urchin said...

Condolences on your injured digit, Snob. I'm sure you've gotten all the way down to the old crumbs and receipts in your suitcase of courage typing a post today.

always,

NPJLDABS

Anonymous said...

Ironman breaks (brakes?) seat, rides on for another 130kms. (80 imperial miles).
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=11605706

McFly said...

I'm a bit OCD so I really adhere to Rule #65. The machine must be silent. No creaking popping or grindy chains. This being said I have been chasing down a creak in my Synapse for nye on 3 weeks. Seat post.

Anonymous said...

"Egads! No brakes, no helmet, hands off the bars? In Australia!?! That's like $2,000 in fines!!!" .. you forgot, no bell, that's $2,106

NSW Motorcycle Police said...

Look at this fucking self entitled Australian cyclist. I'd call that cycling dangerously and it doesn't look like he has a bell on his bike. GET OFF THE ROAD ya moron.

Unknown said...

It takes just as long for an ejected fender to recenter than a finger. Heres to yours overhauling itself in short order.

RW

leroy said...

Dear Mr. BSNYC --

My dog asked me to inform you that's not what "throwing yourself into your work" means.

You want me to ask him how he types with no fingers ?

Of course he sends his condolences and hopes you get well soon.

(You too Mr. Wiz. !! Jay.)

Last time I was injured, he took every chance he got to walk behind me telling me to heal.

I mean it sounded like heal.

dancesonpedals said...

Nuts to the Velominati, and specifically to Rule #82:


Close the gap.

Whilst riding in cold and/or Rule #9 conditions replete with arm warmers, under no circumstances is there to be any exposed skin between the hems of your kit and the hems of your arm warmers. If this occurs, you either need to wear a kit that fits you properly or increase the size of your guns. Arm warmers may, however, be shoved to the wrists in Five and Dime scenarios, particularly those involving Rule #9 conditions. The No-Gap Principle also applies to knee and leg warmers




Baloney. Was there anything lovelier than Babble in her thigh-gap legwarmers?

Oh to be a soap dispenser in her shower to see that tan line.

McFly said...

Now this guy knows how to set proper fender clearance.

dancesonpedals said...

If the sprint was now, I'd have won.

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