
(All You Haters Decapitate My Scattante)
As you can see, the brake cables were snipped and the so-called "cockpit" was simply unbolted and removed. Naturally, I was shocked when first viewing the crime scene, though my concern subsided when I noticed that the thief had left the bottle-opening capabilities of the bike intact:
(The thieving teetotaller totally left the best part.)
In any case, the first rule of New York City bicycle commuting is to always use a bicycle you will not be upset to lose, and having followed that rule I actually feel as though I've come out ahead since the foolish thief neglected to steal the rest of the bike. That said, if someone tries to sell you a 120mm silver Thomson stem in the 25.4 clampway, perhaps bundled with a Ritchey flat mountain bike bar, a pair of black Oury grips, and maybe even a couple of Tektro brake levers with a few inches of brake cable housing dangling from them, feel free to use the fact that they are stolen to negotiate a very low price--and then keep them with my compliments. (I'd offer to reimburse you in exchange for the components but I hate the idea of paying for things twice.)
In the meantime, you will be pleased, indifferent, or nonplussed to know that plans for the Scattante's rehabilitation are already underway, and I expect it should be rideable by this evening at little or no cost to me. Most importantly, now that the weather's improved and the streets are flush with bicycles they are flush with thieves as well, so be careful with your bike.
And remember--yoinking your own cockpit may be fun, but if you're going to yoink someone else's you should at least ask them first.
--BSNYC/RTMS
133 comments:
ha. clampway.
podium
a disgruntled contest non-winner may be a culprit as well.
at least they did not steal your closely guarded identity as well
Sorry to hear that. I hate thieves.
Just when I think I've seen all the ways people can suck, I turn off the PPV TV porn, the PPV online porn, the free online porn, delete my disk and memory cache, restart my browser, jump on this blog and read a story like this.
Top ten? Booyah!
patiently waiting for the cl post.
Milk Race!
all you haters thieve my cockpit.
that sucks, sorry to hear that. on the bright side, maybe the "don't steal bikes, bro" campaign really worked.
wow
damn i hate thieves.
balls.
tuffwheel iis ah why bother
holy wow
That's ranks pretty high among the worst reasons for a double-post I can think of. What did ANT's comrades always say? "I feel your pain". Well, I don't (and I am actually glad that I don't have to, mostly because I would not be resourceful enough to replace a cockpit within the forth-night), but it still sucks.
Mr. Snob, when you reconstruct the Scattante, please be inspired by the Lone Wolf's bike.
Just another good reason to protect your secret identity. A crazed fan would have chopped up the whole bike and auctioned the pieces on E-Bay, especially that bottle opener. Hey, I just found the greatest bike commuter video on Ecovelo. Check it out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI7T2iuGjjc&feature=player_embedded
LAME.
Sorry RTMS/BSNYC I had no choice, your cockpit was the perfect collabo/colorway for my freshly built geekhouse cargo bike. It has tiny, perfect welds if that makes you feel any better.
-COC KPIT
I think the brakes cables and housing may have been snipped with something in the Lobster claw-way...
POOR SNOB
So what's the over/under on how many phony CL ads this post will generate?
Well that sucks balls.
My wife's decade old MTB wheels were knicked in London on Thursday.
If a rusty frame is stolen in Mumbai on Friday we shall know that this is the work of one seriously retarded intercontinental chop shop. The lengths some people go to!
Hope you & the scat-ride can recapture the magic soon.
Fucking assholes.
If we caught the guy, under Islamic law, he would be forced to ride a bike with a 150lb weight belt and no saddle.
Those Muslims know justice.
Ritchey, Oury, Tektro; a rare glimpse into exactly what the Snob rubs..
Sigh. Maybe you'll just leave it in your pants next time.
Glad you have a sense of humor about it. Most of your neighbors are much nicer than that scumbag and his scumbag type.
My ass pedestal went missing not so long ago.
SORY SNOB
wasn't me-i was out riding
I see no wear marks on that bottle opener - what's up with that?
looking fwd to bsnyc's new cockpitway pics. (i'm guessing it won't feature ironically crocheted shifter cozies, since oury gripways are as douchey as he dares?)
assuming both wheels were locked,
cockpit theftway represents an innovative twist on disabling a bike so that it's left overnite, so as to enable additional componentway theft...
So who's link are you going to remove from your blog as retaliation for this?
Boo to bike (part) thieves!
Blutodidit!
you is wrong commie commie
according to sharons law we would cut his balls off
that blows. I did see some guy running up six avenue this afternoon in the bike lane holding a pair of handlebars. If I would have known I would have tackled him.
sucks, now with no step clamped on the bottle opener how will you open your beer?
sorry to hear that. but why did you ride the subway? were you unable to steer the bike with the bottle opener?
What a contrast to last week's ant blog. Ha Ha
Unless....hey.....wait.....SNOB!
Did you......
Glad you can have a non-plussed view of the incident. So much angst usually accompanies a bike theft. Something to be thankful for.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLUX0y4EptA
the song sucks but it seems to fit
If I find the scrotum sucking thief before anyone else...I'll castrate the bastard
Frankly, I'd be a little more concerned about that pipe bomb!!! Run!!! (Cuz you ain't gonna ridin'!)
SNOB ROBD
What's with NYCers?
Just walk on by while a bicycle is being disassembled?
Passive collaboration sucks.
Those sons a bitches! I can't believe they stole your cock-pit! Even though you are a famous, rich dude I still feel bad for you!
Having had two bikes stolen from me, plus various components (or even quick release skewers!), I am inspired by your non-plussed take on the whole thing. I used to get pissed (or extremely saddened, at best) when stuff got stolen, but now I have a much more resigned attitude, much like yours. Shit happens.
Ha ha!
Ya know, Geek; we were totally disinterested and done with you and the ant. Now ya went opened a can a whoop ass.
Theft in NYC must be distressing. Around here bicycle theft is so rare people lean Dura ace equipped bikes wherever when they need to go to the john, etc. The perpetrators around here do not realize bikes can be expensive. They just assume any bike is just a Big Box store bike.
Anyway, now you have a chance to make a statement. Take a broom stick (or mop handle) and some duct tape. You can produce a one of a kind stem and handlebar. Just image your fine ride being prominently displayed in the pages of fixedgear gallery.
"That said" again? Was your grammar book attached to the cockpit?
You got ripped off by some right-wing bastard. Holy fuck I hate those assholes.
Thieves always give some thin excuse..I don't steal except from the man, or big corporations, or some successful blogger from New York City...but you know what- that's bullshit! A thief is a thief- and y'all would rob yo mama if ya had the chance- Y'all are worthless warts on the skin of the world. Word.
It's kind of an insult to the rest of your bike, isn't it?
plum sez...I turn off the PPV TV porn, the PPV online porn, the free online porn, delete my disk and memory cache, restart my browser...???
nobody ever did that.
not never
SNOB RULZ
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
valid
pontious you have.
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/bik/1632012235.html
http://saltlakecity.craigslist.org/bik/1633865841.html
When I was 14 I had my Stingray bike stolen and I've never been the same since. I'm now 52. The scar runs deep.
ALL YOU THEIVERS SUCK MY BANANA SEAT!
dick move, but what the naive thief doesn't know is that you've got the bloggeratti, twitteratti, UPSeratti, FedExeratti, USPSeratti, bikeeratti, snoberatti, new yorkeratti, fattyeratti, ANTeratti, and numerous other -erattis (definitely the Prollyeratti and maybe some hipsteratti) who will be hunting without ceasing for your missing cockpit. When we find the thief, we will surely beat him with a U-lock.
Could it be the "spyclists" are on tour?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_8551000/8551491.stm
Maybe this will cheer you up...
Gagantuan Lobster
BSNYC that really sux. Sorry to hear about your misfortune. I've enjoyed your blog for quite some time, and wanted to offer up a bar/stem/lever combo for you if you need anything (which is doubtful). Email me, and I'll give you your pick and mail them out to you.
the dilemma of a NYC cyclist. who could blame snob for wanting a solid cockpit that fits well. someone should start a line of quality bike components (good materials, geometry ect) that are made to look really cheep and crappy. Good stuff that works well but looks like shit.
I predict a fake post on craigslist using the picture from your blog, any guesses what happens next?
I had you pegged as a drop road bar with cantilever brakes kind of guy. What a strange world we live in.
Dude, your cockpit theft was mentioned in the NY Times:
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/09/a-bike-theft-in-the-time-of-twitter/?hp
My condolences for your loss of property.
I hope your cockpit replacement is an improvement.
Planning to fill the socket cap screw heads with silicone sealant as a deterrent?
BTW, did Monster Track have a permit?
If not, where are the police?
Wow. Snobby gets hit with an Old School NYC cycling lesson...
Make you bike look ugly and worthless if you don't want it stolen. Same applies to parts.
Hide the logos and remove temptation.
Still, the theft sucks.
What's with NYCers?
Just walk on by while a bicycle is being disassembled?
Same in Toronto.
These guys work with amazing speed, the have a pair of cable cutters, and a 5mm Allen wrench on a power driver.
The local solution was to fill in all Allen bolt heads with silicone adhesive. It slows them down too much because you have to pick out the adhesive to turn the bolt.
Basically, this is what Scattante's are for, and why only a dumbass would commute on a pricey bike.
In North Carolina, I could leave my bike unattended all day. Most of those wide-loads wouldn't know what to do with a bike, except to hook it up to a 'still.
i had this happen to me twice last year. both times road bars with sti shifters. added up to about a $1000 bucks. sucked hard
SORY SNOB
After health care is fixed, we will have national bike theft insurance. Good people are working on it right now . . .
GOOD PEPL
talk about a tug job with out a happy ending.
HAIL CSZR
De inimico non loquaris sed cogites.
-P.P.
cockpitless is the new brakeless!
Putting a thomson on a shitty bike instead of buying a crappy stem is like buying a cheap lock for your crappy bike.
You aren't going to be saving any money once you have to replace the stolen stuff with the things you should have bought in the first place.
What the Dude is saying is:
The Thompson stem really tied the cockpit together...
Dude, they left the wisecracker? Those are some stoopid thieves! Maybe they are planning on holding your cockpit for ransom.
maybe you should have used this..
http://www.ukbikestore.co.uk/product/73/pi_00116/pinhead-headset-lock-pack.html
Blogs are so informative where we get lots of information on any topic. Nice job keep it up!!
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