Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Odds and Bar-Ends: Cannibal Time Trials, Vegan Bikes

As a cycling blogger, every so often I get the opportunity to break a big story. For example, some of you may be old enough to remember the Aerospoke crisis of aught-seven and the panic that ensued. Well, it's entirely possible I may be on the scent of another scoop. An informant in Boulder, CO has sent me the following photo of team Garmin-Slipstream which could have far-reaching implications:

According to the informant, the team was trackstanding en masse on a grassy field. While an ordinary cycling journalist might dismiss this as simply being some kind of bike-handling exercise, I refuse to accept facile explanations. Would Woodward and Bernstein have broken the Watergate scandal if Woodward hadn't bothered to return Deep Throat's calls? Would Fletch have broken the big story about the chief of police being involved in Los Angeles drug trafficking if he had simply listened to his editor? Would we know that Kirstie Alley has gained 83 pounds if People was afraid to ask the hard questions? The answer to all these questions is, of course, "meh." This is why I choose to probe deeper, and I'm currently working on three theories:

1) Garmin-Slipstream director Jonathan Vaughters is involved in a sinister plot to bribe the UCI to make fixed-gear freestyling a sanctioned discipline beginning in 2010, and he is training his squad in anticipation of this. Garmin-Slipstream will continue to ride Felt bicycles next year, though they'll move from the F1 SL to the Curbside.

2) Garmin-Slipstream's title sponsor makes shoddy equipment, though the team is contractually obligated to use their GPS products at all times. As such, what was to be a five-hour training ride wound up being fifteen minutes of riding around in circles in a local park.

3) Garmin-Slipstream's rigorous anti-doping policy does not extend to recreational drugs, and the team has just eaten a bunch of psychedelic mushrooms and is "tripping balls." When asked to comment, Jonathan Vaughters replied esoterically, "All you haters trip my balls."

At the moment, I'm leaning towards theory #3.

Of course, until I catch somebody red-handed (or at least with dilated pupils), all of this is simply speculation and my Pulitzer is but a fantasy. What I really need is 100-150 people to take to the streets on my behalf in order to uncover the truth, but another reader informs me they're already in San Francisco looking for a stolen bike:





Stolen Messenger Bike (In front of 400 McAllister)
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2009-05-05, 9:35AM PDT

Stolen : This bike was stolen from in front of the SF superior Court house around 4pm to 4:20 pm on Monday, 5/4/09. Please understand that the bike described below is the way I make my living and there are approx. 100-150 people looking for this bike. All of these people have a tendency to take this kind of action against an individual of our community very personally, so the return of this bike is highly recommended. I will not take any responsibility for what they might do to anyone caught with this bike. I will pay a reward for any information that leads to the recovery of this bike. Also understand that there is a police report filed with the SFPD and this theft is considered grand larceny, a felony.

57cm Lemond Road Bike, Blue and White
Components are listed as such;
Chris King Headset- silver
Campi Centaur brake set - gunmetal grey
Campi Xenon cranks - 170mm length
Campi Chorus BB
Campi Veloce rear derailleur
Campi Chorus Front derailleur
Vuelta XRP Comp wheel set w/ Continental Gator Skin tires
3TTT Morph bars
Campi Chorus 9 spd shifters ( the right shifter paddle is a cut out version while the left one is not)
Black top tube pad and tan and white checker pad on seat tube
SRAM chain
Thompson Elite seat post
F' izik saddle
Ritchey comp stem
IDENTIFYING stickers:

CMWC Seattle sticker on the top inside of the seat tube
Black print sticker on white background stating " If you steal anything off this bike you will be beat about the face and head. "

The rear wheel was "free locked" to the seat tube with my Catlike helmet(white) attached to it.

IF YOU STOLE THIS BIKE AND RETURN IT, NO QUESTIONS WILL BE ASKED AND THE "DOGS" WILL BE CALLED OFF!



Firstly, I'd like to state quite clearly that I have nothing but respect for bike messengers as well as all delivery professionals (except for UPS drivers when they block traffic). Secondly, I'd also like to state that I empathize with anybody who is a victim of bike theft. Thirdly, even though it's completely irrelevant, while I'm making sweeping pronouncements I wish it to be known that I think there are far too many flavors of potato chip on the market and I think we've reached point at which the government should step in. Lastly, it should go without saying that if you have any information about this bike you should get in touch with the owner.

That said, this may very well be the most self-important reaction to a bike theft since Pee Wee's bike got stolen and he implicated the Soviets in his eponymous "Big Adventure." It could be that this self-importance is entirely justified, since this person apparently commands an army of 100-150 people who are willing to kill or maim for him, though it also could be typical messenger self-righteousness. As cyclists, we're all self-righteous in our own way, and messenger self-righteousness manifests itself in the attitude that they are performing a public service and as such should be afforded by society the same degree of respect and gratitude ordinarily reserved for firefighters and war veterans. Consequently, the only crime greater than "rocking" a bike or accessory traditionally rocked by a messenger is stealing a messenger's bicycle--even if that bicycle has been "free locked." "Free locking" a bike means simply locking the wheel to the frame instead of locking the whole bike to something else, and the term is especially fitting since it means the bike is "free" for the taking. Simply locking your bike to itself is like marrying your sibling, in that it's only slightly more convenient but the consequences are far more likely to be disastrous. You should always lock your bike to something that's difficult to make off with, and since nothing's more difficult to make off with than the planet Earth try locking up to it or at least something securely attached to it. (Otherwise, if you're not a bike messenger who commands an army of hundreds, you might wind up like this guy.)

Then again, this problem may just be something specific to LeMonds, since another reader spied this example of an unlocked "LeMondFoil" recently in New York City:

More likely, though, the bike is unlocked because it would be difficult or impossible to lock a frame like this--even if only to itself. Instead, the owner must resort to flipping the bike upside-down in the hope that a thief will be too confused to figure out how to ride it. I must admit, it almost succeeds, since in this configuration it looks more like some kind of modern office building sculpture than it does a bicycle. In any case, it's better than my own method, which involves leaving a bag of barbecue-flavored potato chips near my bike so that I can follow the thief's orange fingerprints.

And thieves aren't the only ones confused by strange-looking bicycles. The UCI also finds them bewildering, which is why they're placing new restrictions on time trial bikes. A reader forwarded me this article from the New York Times (which has been covering cycling recently with alarming frequency) in which Cervélo expresses concern that these new rules might kill their company:

While this might sound like the sort of paranoia so typical of Canadians, the UCI pretty much confirms this is exactly what they're setting out to do:

This is no idle threat, either--after all, it was just this sort of ruling that killed the Y-Foil in the first place.

Personally, I'm all in favor of forcing all riders to do time trials on regular road bikes "Cannibal-style." But when aero is outlawed, only outlaws will be aero. Erik K sent me this photograph (of a Cervélo no less) in which a pair of bar-ends provide for an extremely aggressive position:



I'm not sure if this setup is allowed for mass-start races, and frankly I can't be bothered to look it up. Regardless, it certainly is dangerous, since there's barely any room between the bar-ends and the tire and you run a good chance of completely scraping off your knuckle tattoos. No, you're much better off using them in the traditional manner, which is to create antlers:



This setup keeps your hands safely away from your tire, as well as from your flashlight loudspeaker:


According to the copy, this device eliminates "faffing about:"


Apparently, though, it still allows for "foffing off," which is what the guy in the picture appears to be doing.

But what if you're a tinkerer yet you're not interested in safety or multiple hand positions? Well, you can always palp a pair of brass knuckle grips:



This is an ideal setup for hunting a LeMond thief among an army of hundreds, as well as for crashing, being unable to remove your hands from your bars, and breaking all your fingers--though I'm sure they look great with knuckle tattoos.

Of course, if you're more of a peaceful sort, you can always rub a Vegan Masi, as spotted by a reader in Seattle:



I'm not entirely convinced this bike is vegan safe though, since there's nothing cheesier than Aerospokes.

116 comments:

Anonymous said...

first!

BadBeard said...

Pod!um

Anonymous said...

never thought I'd see the day

Mad Jack McMad said...

Boom Shanka

mander said...

Mander1st

dmg said...

if you're going to go first, why wouldn't you log in?

Bobbo said...

podium!!! AYHSMB

Renders Fenders Moot said...

neuf said

Bobbo said...

not even...damn

Anonymous said...

Top ten mobile from the shitter @ work?

letle viride said...

get off my wheel posers

Other Side of the GW said...

and the bars on that Cervelo are just plain wrong.

ringcycles said...

Nice Fu-Manchu handlebar drops.

rezado said...

Missed it by that much.

BadBeard said...

And then I read it top 20!

Anonymous said...

904th, woo hoo

Anonymous said...

If that's really Garmin-Slipstream, then they're wearing their own personal helmets, riding their own personal bikes and got new uniforms. I think you were duped.

Anonymous said...

KARA GOUCHER IS SOOOOO F'ING HOTTT!!!! And I am a TRIATHLETE!!!!

Seanywonton said...

Shit!!! I thought this was out to a while so I actually READ THE POST!!!
I could have been 1st!!!! AAARGH!!!

Mad Jack McMad said...

Defending yesterday's surprise stage win!


Also, contrary to another commenter's suggestion, I am not John McCain (although he did finish ahead of me in this year's "Mr. Madman" competition).

hillbilly said...

a top tube AND seat tube pad. whoa!

Anonymous said...

top 30!

Anonymous said...

is "cannibal style" something about Eddy Merckx?

red neckerson said...

i aint tailgating im drating

c murder said...

"All you haters trip my balls."

Snob,

After careful deliberation, this is the only logical explanation.

You are on the right track, don't stop now.

c-murder

hillbilly said...

I think the UCI wants them to time trial on dutch city bikes

bk jimmy said...

On the matter of inside lingo and accessibility: bikesnob is now providing a column in Bicycling, which--due to it's infrequency and it's presumed broad & often unfamiliar audience--can be seen as the weekend leisurely group ride put on by an LBS and open to all. The blog is a much more rigorous affair, and as evidenced by the increasingly competitive comments, it's more race-centric. Which means you're welcome to join in, but there's going to be some effort and a learning curve if you're going to keep up.

I mean, sure, it's weird and obnoxious for a roadie to shout "hold your line" to a 3-speed rider on Sunday afternoon in the park, but if you show up to race, well, you better be ready to, uh, hold onto that line really tightly. With both hands!

red neckerson said...

by the way there aint nuthing wrong with marriying yor sister me and jolene been getting along reel good

ant1 said...

Snob - "Personally, I'm all in favor of forcing all riders to do time trials on regualar road bikes "

regular? or is that some bike brand i'm not familuar with?

Unknown said...

I didn't know Masi made a vegan bike. I'm sold...

Critical Ass said...

Notice what time the LeMond was stolen...dude, do you remember where I parked my bike???

Vegas Kid said...

A common mistake. The last bike has nothing to do with dietary preferences. The guy is from Las Vegas, and he wants the world to know it. That's how we roll here.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Seat tube pad? That could be enough to send an otherwise law-abiding citizen over the edge.

grog said...

No. No. No. Keep the government away from potato chip regulation. All you haters crunch my vegan chips.

Udder said...

It's likely that Greg LeMond stole the messenger's bike. Since he has become too fat to get any endorsements or appearance fees and Trek dumped his company, he has become desperate for money and is trying to reclaim all of his bikes to resell as special autographed models.

Anonymous said...

those brass-knuckle ends are useless in real city riding - you've got to go fully lethal for NYC, so bring on the bayonetz!

http://www.sheldonbrown.com/lirpa.html#bayonetz

rockandrollcannibal said...

If you look closely you will see that they are actually soyospokes.

jflo said...

"Simply locking your bike to itself is like marrying your sibling, in that it's only slightly more convenient but the consequences are far more likely to be disastrous."

Brilliant. Laughing my ass off.

innerlighter said...

Actually, that irate messenger should be thanking whomever relieved him of the shame or riding a LeMond.


meh.

Anonymous said...

I think i know the owner of that Vegan bike, and snob the best part is he reads your blog.

Anonymous said...

1. Canada has many, many flavours of chips. Ketchup being the finest.

2. Can't wait to see a fingerless hipster get their rich parents to sue the KNUK GRIP makers.

3. How the heck do you come up with this stuff every day?

4. I always liked my fenders, and newfound mudguard smugness makes them even better.

Anonymous said...

what i'm still trying to understand is why one would set up a bike with all Campy (no, sorry, "Campi") parts and then slap on a SRAM chain. You might as well tie the drivetrain together with spliced drinking straws, especially with those SF hills.

hillbilly said...

seems like a fine guy and all, but 2 comments:

INTERESTS:

My bride, my bikes, my bands, the coffee bean, Movin', shakin', straightedge, veganism, REI, windbreakers, hoodies, Apple/Mac products, family, friends, fixed-gear cycling

does seattle make people like these things to live there, and can rei and windbreakers both be considered interests? couldn't he combine them at least?

splice together drinking straws, i like it, hehehehe

erik k said...

The owner of the Cervelo has knuckle tattoos

Luck E. Seven said...

I wonder whether getting that Whitesnake tattoo was really such a good idea...

This comment is 3:1 compliant.


A

Anonymous said...

Well at least they aren't all out clogging up the roads for the decent folk in cars and trucks!

Anonymous said...

agreed, not Garmin.

Anonymous said...

i was just thinking today it'd be funny to see a dutch bike palping a set of zipps

Anothercanuck said...

Canadians aren't paranoid, are we CommieCanuck.

Commie? Commie? Where are you?


Oh oh.

CommieCanuck said...

1. A writer and employee of BuyCycling can't really make fun of Peeple magazine, as well all know they are in fact the same publication, just with different pictures, and instead of people getting fatter in Peeple,, they get skinnier in BuyCycling. Tell me Paris Hilton is any more ridiculous than Greg Lemond.

2. According to Lenny Zinn today, the hottest thing to rub/rock next year will be bikes made of flax or carrots, so vegans win.

3. When I chop carrots for stew, I can hear them scream.

Anonymous said...

flax bicycles make me poop.

ant1 said...

Commie - You should see Lemond's sex tape. Not half as ridiculous as Paris's.

CommieCanuck said...

As for Cervelo, if they went titties north tomorrow, it wouldn't affect the jobs of any Canadians. Cervelo is now a Swiss company with Chinese manufacturing.

Vroomen-White design in Toronto could go back to designing toilets.

ant1 said...

It would suck to see the testteam fold though.

south of the 49th said...

US chips come in different flavors.

Canadian chips come in different flavours.

Man. These Canadian chips are awesome!

Anonymous said...

Paris has a sex tape?

CommieCanuck said...

All this chips talk reminds me of the great Abe Vigoda/Erik Estrada collabo, Fish and CHiPs.

Anonymous said...

I'm especially fond of the maple glazed potato chips shaped like leaves. You can't hardly find those in the states.

Ralphy said...

Re: Fixed-Gear Freestyling

Kinda like swim freestyle (you know, it sounds liberatory and do-what-you-want, but actually everybody does the exact same thing)

Anonymous said...

anon:53
Zack?

Luck E. Seven said...

I suppose now we'll be inundated with claims of Dutch potato chip/crisp superiority.

I don't like dike-flavored spuds, thank you. Too heavy on the creme de tartar.


A

g said...

Why did the owner of the 4-point load up their panniers with 80lbs of stuff and then disconnect the front brake? Is that a sort of death wish, or is that the new cool?

-p said...

Those Garmin guys are in North Boulder Park, home of the famous North Boulder Crit:
http://www.boulderbikerace.com/nbp/

kale said...

ant1-

Yeah, I would give up cycling if this becomes a regular occurrence in crits.

Luck E. Seven said...

Wait! What the hell?!?!

On that 4-point Motiv with the glandular disorder, is that some kinda steroscope hanging off the highest bough?


A

hillbilly said...

am i missing something, why do people keep talking about them being the garmin team?

Smellvin said...

Garmin-Slipstream might be getting ready for Fat Cyclist's 100 miles to no where.

Anonymous said...

***New Cycling related product ALERT***

Tyler Hamilton Group is in the development stages of offering a new cycling related breakfast cereal. In test trails a nine year old Massachusetts girl, after eating three boxes in two weeks, finished the Boston Marathon in under three hours. She won her class, 'under 10' and when asked to pee in a jar refused. She one punched a course marshal and a marathon board member then screamed, "my evil twin did this!" where are my Haavaad MBA/Lawyers!

The cereal packaging will feature noted cyclists pictures on the front of the box. Floyd Landis is already signed and rumor has it that an international flavour will be acheived with the immenent siging of Ivan Basso, Jan Ulrich and Alexandar 'Vino' Vinokourov. Rumor has it that A-Rod is in line for a box front phot too!

Oh, yes I nesrly forgot. The Name of the cereal? Cheaties!

Doug V said...

That Vegan bike should be made out of Bamboo I think.........

Anonymous said...

Can a vegan really rub plastics? If any component is a fossil derivative (see petrochemical), it comes from an animal and is a no-no. Something to think about....

cherepuga said...

Snobby, you sold out!!! I just checked and you in fact got a column in Bicycling. Bicycling!!!?? Really? The primary reader base of that magazine are the very same people that you so brilliantly "hate on" every day. That is too bad. I hope this will not affect your blog, cause i will really miss it.

btw, is that really a picture of you in there?

And regarding your post today- i agree with people here that it is not a Garmin team. Awesome post today regardless.

bobb said...

how the hell can you call that bike "vegan" with a full on beaver tail affixed to it?

Jeffrey Dahmer said...

Commie, when I chop Stu for stew, I can hear him scream.

Wes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BikeSnobNYC said...

Cherepuga,

Unless you've been displeased with my blog since last fall (which is when "Bicycling" and I agreed on the column) then I don't see why or how my writing for a cycling publication would adversely affect my blog. And the people who read "Bicycling" are the same people who read this blog, which is to say they're people who like to read about cycling.

Regardless, thanks for the compliments--I'm glad you still managed to enjoy it.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

Hey Snob.
The "cheesier" comment won't work with vegan.
The the bike would have to have been decaled "lacto-vegetarian".

cherepuga said...

Glad to hear that.

I liked the recent Bicycling column as well. I'll look out for your feature contributions....

-c

Wes said...

I have to say I had noticed the drop off in quality since last fall.

Mad Jack McMad said...

I think the vegan Masi owner is somewhat naive in the labeling of his bike. While the good people at Masi built the frame out of aluminum, I believe it is their standard practice to slap around a couple of ferrets during assembly.

Anonymous said...

"***New Cycling related product ALERT***"

I have no doubt that the anon who wrote that comment is a professional cyclist.

b said...

Snob,
Why the hate for Garmin products?
I run/rock/rub/roll/slay/faff two different Garmin GPS units- one for the bike and one for hiking/driving/boating. I never had any problems and they do exactly what I need.

Isolation Helmet said...

Yes now that Snob has admitted to selling out last fall I will say his columns have certainly lost something since then. Now that he is raking in the cash he must be drunk on champagne and eating three square a day.

As a two year Bay area resident I cannot understand how a messenger in SF would think that locking a bike without attaching it to something immovable is a good idea. I have only been here two years and know better than that.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Isolation Helmet,

I admit, the opulence has become disgusting. New three-packs of fresh underpants, name-brand soft drinks, legal cable--my life is an endless bacchanal. I'm even buying tissues and paper towels instead of just using toilet paper for everything. (Though in that sense I guess the opulence has become less disgusting.)

--RTMS

Anonymous said...

Snob, I figured you to be boxers, not briefs.

IknewechelonbeforeIhadpubes said...

Snob,

Don't mind the haters...

Keep up the good work

Bunch of spoiled brats...This is free content bitches! Are they paying his bills? Are they putting in the time? Nope. They just yell 'sell out'...yelling sell out to Snobby is selling out, so there.

Sure, I bought a copy of bicycling maybe only four or five times in the 20 years I've been into cycling - but that's not the point...half these guys out here could learn a thing or two from that mag...fixie riders take note, as well as all ya'll who rock undies with your cycling shorts!

Anonymous said...

***New cycling product ALERT***

4:55PM

No I'm not a pro. But I do ingest massive doses of pseudo-ephedra just prior to my local clubs weekly time trail.


My wife pays for the Suda-Fed using a checking account in her maiden name.

I was caught but only the A sample was pos so I kept thye club TT award.

Anonymous said...

I was in SF Monday and Tuesday of this week and I saw that LeMond what must have been the day before it was stolen.

I was there on biz (from Seattle) and noticed the Seattle sticker on the seat tube, and spoke briefly to the owner (who was wearing a Catlike helmet).

Small world.

Anonymous said...

Legalize Spinaci

http://www.cinelli.it/EN/spinaci/storia/

red neckerson said...

actully jolene is a half sister

Typenschild Delete said...

Those Garmin riders look like a bunch of canada geese. Spoiling the park with their droppings, clogging up the bike path, providing cheap entertainment for unleashed dogs.

Are they some sort of counter-goose special forces? You know, studying teh enemy's ways in order to better understand and defeat them?

Anatolie said...

Well maybee we al will have too ride bikes if the patrol will be used up and people cant draive there cars anymore.

They will have to be prety helthy to cycle their bikes thoug not like they are at the moment where they are realy unhealthy eatin pizas and hamburger.

Maybee even people will be more helthy if cars disaper of the roads who nows?

hillbilly said...

looks left

hillbilly said...

looks right

hillbilly said...

takes a drink

hillbilly said...

throws the bottle

hillbilly said...

and 100...

Anonymous said...

v
e
r
t
i
c
a
l
l
y
compliant, latterly stiff...

ringcycles said...

Snobbie, is your mocking of the Seatle Masi a way of saying "All You Vegans Suck My Balls"? If one did, wouldn't it be a double dare, since in the act a veggie muncher could loose all salad cred? I mean, it's a slippery slope from Testilingus to being Carnivorous. Sounds ultimately like sour grapes.

AlexRidesBikes said...

That's not the Garmin team, it's the 5280 Jr. Development team out of Boulder, which is an offshoot of Slipstream. Those are kids, probably just learning to track stand in North Boulder Park and not skin up their hands and knees.

Anonymous said...

so if this guy does get his bike back he'll spend the rest of his life living in fear

Anonymous said...

That knuckle duster bike has a rolled-up tube sock top-tube protector (tube sock makes perfect sense for such application) although the bars wouldn't ever strike the top tube.

Go VeganAnon.2:43, I am with you with the ketchup chips, but they aren't just Canadian.
Maine had them decades ago (Humpty Dumpty - alas now made in Canada) and Wachusett apparently makes them too.
Frito-Lay makes ketchup chips these days for US sale, but I prefer other brands. And dill pickle chips are a good second choice.

The old Vincent's brand (RIP) apple and cinnamon potato chips were terrible and thankfully seasonal.

And BSNYC, there can never be too many varieties of potato chips, just too many crappy flavors and too much shelf space taken up (shelving fees paid for) by Frito-Lay.

a d woods said...

talked to vegan bike dude for a while when he came through the line at work. he lived in portland for a while, which, to me, explains it all.

7sp said...

Three words: Salt-n-Lineker.

Anonymous said...

搬家公司,搬家,搬家公司,清潔公司,搬家,搬家公司,清潔,日本料理,清潔,清潔公司,清潔,看護中心,胎毛筆,清潔公司,會計,公司登記,公司註冊,輕鋼架,搬家公司,月子中心,搬家公司,油漆,油漆工,油漆工程,輕鋼架天花板輕隔間,搬家

公司
,搬家公司,搬家,搬家公司,清潔公司,搬家,搬家公司,清潔,日本料理,清潔,清潔公司,清潔,看護中心,胎毛筆,清潔公司,會計,輕鋼架,搬家公司,月子中心,搬家公司,油漆,輕鋼架,輕隔間,天花板,搬家公司,貨運,貨運公司,網頁設計,網頁設計,網頁排名,SEO糖果批發批發商 泡麵批發罐頭批發飲料批發禮盒批發罐頭糖果批發批發商 泡麵批發罐頭批發飲料批發禮盒批發

罐頭桌椅出租 桌椅出租 桌椅租賃桌椅椅桌椅桌出租

Anonymous said...

I cringed when I saw the brass knuckle bars. While I like brass knuckles, and handlebars, that may be the worst combination since Elton John & Eminem. Like Mr. Mathers referred to their duet, that combination is a game of Russian roulette. Maybe the owner of that bike just crashes less than I do, but I figure a setup like that would have me out of a job (unless I could learn to work a computer with my toes) and out of riding in a matter of months at best, hours at worst. My fingers hurt just thinking about it.

Anonymous said...

Two days of Vegan posts and no mention of the TT Vegan?

baloo said...

in the antler pic the front brake is disconnected. wondering if that is a new theft deterrent technique, that way if someone does steal your bike at least you have the pleasure of knowing they probably crashed unless they were "sneaky" as these thieves apparently are and reconnected the cable hmmmmm

baloo said...

upon further inspection i now believe there are possibly two front brakes on the antler bike someone please confirm this i cant trust my eyes this is far to grand for only one man to understand

Renders Fenders Moot said...

Flight, not fight! Brass knuckles on a bike make everything else look like a work of genius. Which it is!

When I see shit like this I'm outta there so fast it's like I never existed.

Luck E. Seven said...

Not sure what that copper amoeba is on the seat tube, though. Genius, RFM? You are palping a sub-cheese air today.


A

Anonymous said...

I have come to realize that the other Anonymous is right. Kara Goucher IS hot!!

Anonymous said...

The Stolen Messenger bike guy's posse reminded me that Andre the Giant had one as well. But did Andre really need one?

www.tricktrack said...

http://www.tricktrack.org/

Anonymous said...

The details on the brass knuckle bars are great, especially the "straight" stem. Maybe he just hit a car and needs some alignment?

Aaron Edge said...

-- Thanx for posting my Masi, I'm quite proud of the vegan green machine and it's a lot of fun to ride 'round Seattle, she/he has no official name yet though. Anyone have ideas for me? Great blog, as always, I read it every day.

Unknown said...

I built the bike with the knuckle grips I actually built it for a local design store and intended it as a comment on the fixed gear trend. I figured with the number of fixsters using way to narrow straight bars and bragging about their color coordinated rides that I would push the whole idea to its ridiculous, illogical conclusion.
To respond to a few reader comments, the stem is straight, the picture I took is slightly off centered and the top tube protector is needed, the bars do come around and hit the top tube which surprised me too.
I do know how to build bikes, I am a cat 4 track racer and ride a bike that I built. The differences of opinion on style don't bother me but the comments on my craftsmanship get to me.