The many faces of Cadel Evans, by Erik K:
Frodo Evans
"With everything that's gone on in the last three months - I had tendonitis, a huge crash in the Tour de France, defending the yellow (jersey) with only one leg and breaking my anterior cruciate ligament - I was on crutches for three or four days after the Tour."
Cadel Evans, the "John Coltrane of excuses."
Podium again, bitches!
ReplyDeleteExcellent, but you need a lion or a Chihuahua.
ReplyDeletecadel evans is one of my inspirations.
ReplyDeleteBOOOORRRRRINNNNG
ReplyDeleteTop 5?
ReplyDeleteHe was whinny when he rode dirt and he has only gotten whinier... Please leave him out of any other future topics on this site as he sucks the big one.
Cinco!
ReplyDeleteLucky Seven!
ReplyDeleteTop ten ... yeah !
ReplyDeleteexcuse supreme
ReplyDeleteexcuse supreme
excuse supreme
excuse supreme
excuse supreme
excuse supreme
excuse supreme
ear worm, dammit!
(I'll just spark up that Life Saver lovin' genius right now)
Erik K - The John Coltrane of Photoshop.
ReplyDelete#11
ReplyDeletedon't touch me!
ReplyDeleteno speechifying please,
ReplyDeletethis is a prologue
Well done E.K. When's the exhibition catalog going on sale in the gift shop?
ReplyDeleteTop twenty, everybody!!
ReplyDeleteNice one.
ReplyDeleteAt least he is more entertaining than LEVI.
ReplyDeleteErik K, you'll be hearing from my lawyers.
ReplyDeleteMr. Erik_K,
ReplyDeleteMr. Evans has instructed me to contact you concerning the disparagements and injuriously statements you have made against him visually. However the cad whines so much about everything I can not see how we can make a substantial case for injury.
if the snob is away and you podium, is it like winning the tour without Contador?
ReplyDelete"...don't insult my bike with offers lower than $775..."
ReplyDeletethat bike has been on the list since early spring. don't insult us by trying to sell the "fucked trophy" you had built at a "boutique" (with weinmann rims)that is simply "too small" for you now.
dude, the front clearance is less than a dime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteCadel whines - Lance Gobbles
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/16/us/16lance.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=Lance%20Armstrong%20water&st=cse&oref=slogin
Cadel is my aspiration, because he sucks.
ReplyDeleteI think I make American funny.
Well, if you take into account his peg-leg, the 'Strain won, then, right?
ReplyDeleteP.S. re: craigslist ad:
Those fork crown lugs aren't even thinned.
Bravo Eric K.
ReplyDeleteOnce again I am tickled into reflection at your Cindy Sherman-esque treatment of Cadel as both protagonist and antagonist, a voyeur of his own narcissism.
In this tryptic, I find the lampoonery of the physical deformation inherent to both the slight-statured, fat-footed Frodo and the EPO-swilling, peglegged pirate in the first 2 images to be apt signifiers of his poorly cobbled performances and subsequent attempts at mea culpa.
As if unfortunate genetics (in the first) and occupational overpacking (in the second) were truly considered the excuses of a cheated champion, Eric K. brands Cadel in the third image with all the visual cruelty that tabloid journalism has seen fit to impart, offering not one shred of color, no hint of sympathy, no escape from the lens of vitriol de rigeuer.
"Excuses Supreme" indeed; to invoke the virtuosity of the cacophonous one begs the question of Evans' dedication to the sport, or of his dedication to being a pretender, as the first 2 images might imply. More universally, merely changing the team kit does nothing to change the rider. The black heart remains.
Just waxin...
A
I think Cadel's in the closet.
ReplyDeleteAnd desperately want's to come out.
What Lucky 7 said!
ReplyDeleteAnd I just noticed that Cadle wears masacara.
Lucky 7
ReplyDeleteyou think your pretty smart, don't you/
smart ass maybe
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteEricK, nice job. But you better ease off on Cadel, before "and plus some American blogger was making fun of me and it hurt my feelings and you have no idea how hard it is to ride with emotionally crippling pain like that" gets added to his Litany of Excuses.
ReplyDeleteWhen did Bike Snob say he was gonna be back?
ReplyDeleteFunny "boutique" fixie ad by Anon. 12:55. If this bike was so "boutique", then why did they build it out of 501 (cro-mo) tubing? Also, the fork crown clearance might come in useful for scraping the goose doo-doo off my front tire when I ride through the park.
ReplyDeletewould have been first but all my fingers have been chewed off and I am in fact typing with two large nubs.
ReplyDeleteCadel went dark side before Schleck and Sastre. He's back on the Death Star. Evans is Sith? noooooooooo
ReplyDeleteooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
Coltrane blows.
ReplyDeleteColtrane blows.
ReplyDeleteI look like Cadel Evans!
ReplyDeleteThat bike being the nike and adidas of bikes is like being the Macdonalds and Wendys of hamburger.
ReplyDeleteStop whaling on my team leader Mr Cadel. On top of his massive physical limitations, now I will have to emotionally carry him to the Vuelta and up and down hilly bits.
ReplyDeleteAw gee, you Americans.. now that Lance is gone you haven't got anyone who is worth sh!t. We won't count Floyd the Doper, then there's Hinacapie and Levi (I coulda been a contender).
ReplyDeleteFinishing 4th, 2nd and 2nd is no mean feat in, what Lance once described as the hardest sporting race in the world. So, when the next American consistently finishes that high (if another one ever does) expect the rest of us to exhibit the same level of sportsmanship as yourselves.
Barry,
ReplyDeleteYou suck, and you're a whiner also!
Pick on one of the top athletes in the world for taking second place? You are one weird dude! You can't stand in Cadel's shadow. Go back to picking on the people who deserve it. Are you short on material? Craig
ReplyDeleteYaroslav, don't know if you've heard the news but you've been spared...at least for the Vuelta.
ReplyDeleteThanks Frilly , you do not know how much THOSE HILLS CAN HURT, especially on a diet of soda and snickers bars
ReplyDeleteThis would be funny if it were funny. But it's not. Cadel's more interesting than most pro-riders... he has a personality at least and is somewhat entertaining. Most pro-riders... yawn....
ReplyDeleteStick it
ReplyDeleteLucky 7:
ReplyDeleteI thought that was funny until I read back and saw that your doing it over today. A lesson I keep trying to teach my eight year old. Most jokes are only funny once.
You have a thesaurus,....we get it.
it still baffles me how two whiney bitches like cadel and levi nabbed hot wives.
ReplyDeleteBy the time Snob gets back, this site will be RIP'd.
ReplyDeleteSomeone better for the Last Rites.
Doh!
ReplyDeleteSomeone better get a priest to read the Last Rites.
I only have a year left anyway.
ReplyDeleteFirst!
ReplyDeletesorry for the delay, I was out of town.
Thanks dumb guy @ 2:34.
ReplyDeleteMy comments weren't jokes. I was writing to Erik K. about the images he took time to make for our entertainment. Y'know, something other than Podium!, sarcastic kiddie quips, or BOOOOOOORRRRRRIIIINNNNGGG.
A
fuck you lucky 7
ReplyDeletelucky 7, thanks an well said.
ReplyDeleteYaroslav, are you stalking me?!?
ReplyDeleteAnd I think I would lose Padraig as an admirer if he knew why I was able to get up that hill Sunday. But I'll never tell. Ha!
Been a lurker for a while. Just wanted to tell you how awesome your blog is. keep it up!
ReplyDeleteJ
http://adventuresinvoluntarysimplicity.blogspot.com/
Mr. Evans has instructed me to contact you concerning the disparagements and injuriously statements you have made against him visually. However the cad whines so much about everything I can not see how we can make a substantial case for injury.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete............Nice..^_^v................