Fortunately, the big bike manufacturers have heard our demands and seem to be moving towards a new headset "standard," this being a 1 1/8" bearing on top and an even larger 1 1/4" bearing on the bottom. I had originally been waiting for road bike headsets to go to 1 1/4" top and bottom before upgrading, because I'm convinced that's where things are headed and I think right now head tubes are in an awkward "Popeye's arm" stage. However, it looks like I'm going to need a new bike sooner than I intended, since I smashed my last one to bits Pete Townshend-style this past weekend after failing to win yet another road race due entirely to my outmoded front end setup. (Though to be fair my lack of an eleventh cog was also partly to blame.)
As such, I spent the rest of the weekend researching new bikes, which consisted mostly of reading reviews online while picking my teeth with a shard of carbon fiber from my freshly-shattered frame. One particularly attractive line of bikes is the '09 Giant line-up. It's got all the features I require: Popeye's arm head tube with a logo that spans both the head tube and the fork (head tube/fork-spanning logos are the frame URLs of the new millennium), enormous tubes everywhere else, and integrated everything. But more than anything else, what caught my eye was this:
Yes, that's Cyclingnews reviewer James Huang's name right there on the top tube. I may be wrong, but I'm guessing this is Giant's way of tickling his ego a bit and making him feel all pro and special while he's testing out their new line-up. This got me thinking: at what point to you have access to so many bicycles that you can no longer differentiate them? I'm not saying this is the case with James, but generally speaking wouldn't all these bikes eventually melt together into one big, sticky, sickly sweet mass of crotch candy? I mean, let's be frank: high-end race bikes are luxury items, and when you're constantly surrounded by luxury you may be appreciative at first but after awhile you get really comfortable, start taking it for granted, and eventually become addicted to the luxury itself. (I stayed in a Holiday Inn recently so I know what I'm talking about.)
I maintain it's important to limit the number of bicycles you have so you can appreciate the differences between them. In cycling as in life, the excitement is in the contrasts. So how do you know if you have too many bikes and you're getting soft? Well, if you have any of the following, you're probably there:
An Inside Bike
Do you have a perfectly good bicycle that you keep only to use inside on rollers or on a trainer of some kind? This is simply excessive. Bikes are for outside. Having an inside-only bike is like having an inside-only outfit--not a pair of flannel pajamas or something, but rather a flowing, silk ensemble with lots of embroidery. Who do you think you are, Hugh Hefner?
An A La Recherche du Temps Perdu Bike
This is a bicycle you keep only for nostalgic purposes. It could be that Paramount you always coveted in your youth and then finally purchased on eBay, or that Skyway TA your friend had when you were kids and then you painstakingly recreated vintage bit by vintage bit. Sure, if you're actually riding the thing I suppose it's OK, but if you simply keep it inside and post pictures of it on relevant internet galleries I'd argue that's excessive. When your stable of bikes can be described as Proustian it may be time to start thinning the proverbial herd.
A Fluid Bike
Last week we saw the dangers of having specific bikes for specific beverages. Coffee bikes, beer bikes, Orange Julius bikes--where does it end? (I admit I have an Orange Julius bike complete with handlebar-mounted cup holder, but I did get rid of my A La Recherche du Temps Perdu CW Dizz Hicks replica and studded leather halter top in order to make room for it.) Trust me, not every liquid requires a specific bicycle in order to fetch it. Surely some people are just some bike lust and a case of anemia away from owning a hemoglobin bike. Actually, isn't that what Astana rides?
A Doppelganger Bike
Hoarding is a dangerous impulse, and it's one to which all too many cyclists fall victim. If you're not a hoarder you probably know one--we've all encountered the guy who's afraid they might stop making his favorite pedal or something so he stockpiles enough to last him three lifetimes. Well, the hoarding impulse can extend to complete bikes. Some people like a bicycle so much they feel compelled to replicate it. Just in case. Having a duplicate bicycle is OK if you're a really good cyclocross racer. Otherwise, it's excessive.
A Fixed/Singlespeed Iteration of a Bike You Already Have
Many people who own multiple bikes have a singlespeed and/or a fixed-gear in there somewhere, and there's certainly nothing wrong with that. There is something wrong though with the person who's got every conceivable bicycle and so he starts from the beginning and builds fixed or singlespeed versions of all the bicycles he already has. This is a variant of the hoarding disorder. You've got the 'cross bike, now you need the singlespeed 'cross bike. You've got the titanium century bike, now you need the fixed titanium century bike. If gone untreated, this doubles over on itself and you start building geared versions of your singlespeed or fixed bikes. Then one day you're just riding around in circles in front of your house on a bike with a carbon belt drive and a Rohloff hub, naked and sobbing to yourself. And I don't want to see that happen to anybody.
An Occasion Bike
A bicycle is a tool, and you certainly need the right tool for the right job. That's why many of us own more than one bicycle. But if you've got too many tools eventually you yourself become the tool. It starts with having a beater bike. Then a rain bike. Then a coffee bike. (See "fluid bikes.") Then a Sunday morning bagel-getter. Then a loaner bike in case your friend visits from out of town and wants to go mountain biking. Then a post road ride road bike. (You know, just to shake out the legs.) Then a pit bike. Then a pit bike for your pit bike. Eventually you're buying one of those Worksman bikes just in case someone invites you to a barbecue and wants you to bring hot dogs or something. Guess what? It's OK not to have the exact bike for every occasion. It's OK to carry hot dogs on your Orange Julius bike once in awhile, really. (Just don't stick them in the handlebar-mounted cup holder like pencils.)
A Grant Petersen Iteration of a Bike You Already Have
So you have the go-anywhere bike. You have the singlespeed go-anywhere bike. Naturally, you now need Grant Petersen's take on the singlespeed go-anywhere bike. Or do you? Just because something has received the Rivendell treatment by getting lugs and a really tall head tube doesn't mean you need it, no matter how eloquent the website copy is.
So next time you're contemplating adding a new bike to your fleet, stop and ask yourself: "Do I really need it?" Then ask yourself, "In the event of a fire, if I could only save one of my bikes, which one would it be?" In my case I know exactly which it would be. It would be the one with the largest diameter headset. (Or maybe the Orange Julius bike.)
204 comments:
1 – 200 of 204 Newer› Newest»HELL YES!
podium!!!
podium!?
OMG, 4th!!!
5
Snob,
Please tell me you didn't go David Miller on your bike...
top ten
Fred Kozak What?!
Argh! Fitte, skal man aldri bli først? Top ten?
Whatever you get, look for a 2009 model - compliance and stiffness have been increades across the industry.
when are surrys going to be the next fixed gear craze?
Unlucky 13
Fuckin' hilarious. I just got my hemoglobin bike and I love it. A nice little Ridley Excalibur -- I figure if anyone knows a thing or two about blood volume it's the Belgies.
Now if I could just figure out how to boost my hematocrit above 35% -- lousy chemo drugs. I miss being at 51, even though it was natural it made me feel like an outlaw.
Good luck on you quest for the biggest headtube ever.
BS/RTMS. You forgot to add onr other catagory, the folding +/or midget version of a bike you never had. Your bike fleet is not complete with out one of these.
http://www.daewoobicycles.com/shuttle.htm.
I hope to go fixed on mine soon.
When can we expect Kevin to show up and rant about how 1.125 is good enough, you are all poseurs for wanting integrated components, and how he rode a single speed for long time...?
Far be it from me to disagree with BSNYC advice, but sometimes you just have to buy another bike for a loved one.
I bought my last bike for my wife.
She told me she was sick and tired of hearing about the attributes of various bikes and that I should shut up and just go buy one.
So I had to buy another bike. Not for me, but for the woman I love.
If it makes her happy to see me on a new bike, who am I to argue?
Sometimes you just have to make sacrifices to keep a relationship strong.
I think I might need help. Thanks for opening my eyes snobby.
-B
I have to admit to throwing a couple of new Conti's on my indoor trainer bike that hasn't seen pavement since January. A sick lot we are.
Is a Proflex Proustian? I do enjoy staring at my two complete 7 speed XT mountain bike gruppos sitting in my garage.
bike-hoarding (or it's variant, bike-part hoarding) is only a short step away from panty hoarding. as in, mountain of panties in living room (or play-room, as space allows), rolling around naked in them, and so forth. If bike parts weren't so damn pokey, I'm sure many people would do just that . . .
Snob could you please tell me what a rounded rectangular profile is?
Is that like fresh frozen or jumbo shrimp?
Or maybe it's more like military intelligence.
-B
Bluenoser,
Road bikes now more than ever must be rolling paradoxes.
--BSNYC
I have 4 bikes:
DH bike with no drivetrain. I guess it's more of a scooter, but I ride this the most. For shredding.
Geared roadbike. Friction bar ends, 28c tires, fenders, all black except for rasta tape. Barbiek/grocery getter/commuter.
Single speed mtb. For going up and down off road.
BMX.
BIKES ARE FUN!
I don't have one yet, but I've noticed a lot of folks riding about on their sidewalk bikes and think it looks fun.
Top fucking 500.
hehehe..I have a burrito bike...40 pound raleigh sturmey archer three speed (with the original pump!) i tell people its only to go to the burrito shop and back (3 blocks) but I ride it downtown (Boston) a lot. My girlfriend has the step through version (she has a horn, I have a bell) and we go on dates with it.
and yes a rain bike (japanese masi) and yes an inside bike - trainer only (old volpe from when i was fat) and my commuter bike is a single speed (langster) and then there is of course Darlene (Lynskey ti)..but that's it!
I propose that one should have two bikes for every room in their home that has room for a floor to ceiling rack. I mean, really, they hold two bikes each so the math just works. That and a floor pump and then you too can be a cyclist.
Grammer hounds, did I use the word two, too correctly?
My therapists say I'm entitled to as many bicycles as I need.
And I see Giant "holds (almost) nothing back" for the Ladies.
well snob you have confirmed my suspicion that this was your bike I spotted this weekend
I like Rohloffs and cargo bikes....
mmmmmm.... DQOJ
I don't know what Grant Peterson's take is on the hot dog-Orange Julius bike, but I bet he's adamant about keeping a solid fistful of distance between your Hebrew National and your large 3-Berry Blast Smoothie.
Sure, staying at a Holiday Inn may let you know about luxury, but staying at a Holiday Inn Express makes you know about everything.
And on an unrelated note, a friend of mine bought a second litespeed identical to his first to send out and have made into a breakaway suitcase-packable version. He's gonna have to fly with that thing a whole bunch of times to pay back his oversized baggage fees.
erik k,
so snob is an asian woman? Who would have guessed.
Bluenoser said...Is that like fresh frozen or jumbo shrimp?...Or maybe it's more like military intelligence.
Cute, however your choice of plagarizing George Carlin on the day of his death seems:
a.) stupid
b.) tasteless
c.) stupid
Pick one or all of the above.
I speculated he could be asian a week ago.
ant1... ya crazy isn't it?
Dear Annazed,
I seriously doubt that Bluenoser meant any disrespect. If anything, it's a tribute to George Carlin to see that his words are so deeply entrenched in the American Lexicon.
Anonymous 1:21 PM...If anything, it's a tribute to George Carlin...
With all due respect, bullshit.
Tributes usually begin with "in the immortal words of George Carlin..."
Here on RTMS blog there is an ever frantic race by commenters to seem witty and wry and ingratiate themselves to BSNYC and garner high fives all-round. Unattributed little funnies appear all of the time. I hereby change Bluenoser's handle to Brownnoser. So there.
I hate to get technical here... but, I think a group or collection of bikes is correctly termed a "stable"; not a "fleet" or "herd."
Only a newbie would make the mistake of calling his collection of skis anything other than a "quiver." And you're likely to get a tar and feather treatment if you call your collection of geese anything other than a "gaggle."
BSNYC/RTMS
what about the bike you've had for so long it has had several incarnations. Like a bike that was your first racing bike, then became your commuter, then rain bike, finally beater.
You don't really need it, but you keep it anyway so you have something else to ride.
Mmm ice cream vending bicycle, mmmm, must have.
Looks like Ive been spelling poser (poseur)wrong for 2 days, this either proves Im not a poseur as one would know how to spell it...or a makes me a bigger poser than ever.
HMMMMM? This fixster stuff can be complicated.
Anonymous 1:36pm,
The "Reincarnate Lama" bike is not excessive. It is a cherished teacher. (Unless it's Grant Petersen's take on the "Reincarnate Lama" bike.)
--RTMS
You left off your list (hopefully not on purpose) the compulsive, too-good-to-pass-up, Craigslist frame purchase. These bikes are tantalizingly dangled in front of you like the trash magazines and candy they leave near the grocery store checkout counter.
Who among you can pass up the title of, “would make a great fixie?” My entire shed is lined with ill-sized, lugged steel, Fuji frames that will, indeed, make great fixies.
Is today:
1/ Sunday
2/ Monday
or none of the above?
And what if you don't like Mr. Carlan?
We can't all have good taste.
Cruiser, fixie, trail bike, bmx.
Not much overlap there.
Wish my wife saw it that way!
Well, you obviously liked him enough to try to pass his shtick off as your own.
Given that your blog already has sort of sad attempts at BSNYism all over it, and now this, I recommend that you go away. KevinFtMeyers has posted the correct spelling of poseur for you, so you could spend your time looking that up.
And BTW, it's "Carlin."
erik K ... now I am confused. I thought RTMS looked like a plastic doll version of Michael Jackson. Now you are telling me he is an Asian woman. Wow, what a chameleon our Snobby is.
wow. i wonder how many other people are shocked at how many categories they fit into. I'm definitely a hoarder. If I had to change the setup on my bike I would cry.. and I already have a backup set of handlebars and a seatpost.... (in my defense, they don't make enough varieties of women's sized handlebars)...
i have a nostalgia bike and my husband has an indoor bike and i'm building up 2 more. whoa.
i feel like i just went to therapy.
i never realized we had a dysfunctional family. thank you BSRTMS
My name is annazed I'm so angery!!! grrrrrrrr
"In the event of a fire, if I could only save one of my bikes, which one would it be?"
My tri bike. Because I love showing up at group rides with it and freaking out all the roadies, who instantly assume I'm gonna crash and burn because I have aero bars.
Dear BSNYC,
My wife and I each have a rain bike, a townie/commuter, and a road bike with drops. Hers are all single speed. Mine are all fixed.
We also share a grocery bike. It remains outdoors until the snow flies and has enough baskets to be dangerous when fully loaded.
We have no trouble considering all of the bikes mentioned so far as indispensable, but we also have a fifty year old 3 speed that only gets used when someone visits and a couple of antique children's bikes that we race around the back yard (or basement) when we get drunk.
I could assemble another two or three bikes with the parts we have lying around. I fight the urge to build, but I feel that I am growing weak.
We suspect we have a problem, but if we do, we don't know where it begins. What do you think?
Perhaps we're OK. None of our bikes are beverage specific.
Your input would be greatly appreciated.
In the fire scenario, I would definately be grabbing the trail bike, I could build the cruiser, fixie and bmx bikes twice over for what Ive got in my dirt sled.
Anonymous 2:06pm,
Oh, I don't see a problem. Everybody should have a pair of antique children's drunken basement-racing bikes.
--RTMS
How about this one, youve got a frame lying around you want to build up, so you buy a parts bike to get the 3 or 4 parts youre missing off of it. Then you have another partial bike lying around so you trade some shit for some parts to finish it.
Or worst of all, you have a valve cap extra, but its really cool valve cap, so you build a bike around it!
First it's like this. For one I meant no disrespect for the departed George Carlin. As a matter of fact I did not even know that he had come up with that line, I thought I was stealing it from my friend Alistar in Cape Breton.
Correct me if I'm wrong, because we are so backward and stupid up here in Canada, I thought that he passed away on Sunday. Let me go warm up the tubes on my RCA Victor and try and catch the news tonight.
The comment was directed to Snob. I didn't know you we his co writer. He didn't seem to have a problem. I also just have a blog for my own pass time here in the middle of nowhere, but if you want to say I'm copying someone, well why not someone good?
So I'm sorry ( we Canadians are great at saying sorry ) if I hurt your feelings.
Can I stay now or do I still have to go away.
Sorry again for not knowing how to spell. We all can't be perfect I gusse.
-B
Hello! Before I got to know Kevin, I was nothing, nowhere, nobody! I was stuck in a room reading voiceovers I could barely understand! And then, I got to know him, and now I get to be on TV! And today, they call me.. Don Pardo!
Please Kevin, tell us more!
BSNYC/RTMS,
Thanks. I feel better now.
Anonymous 2:06pm
Off topic, but I've noticed a larger than usual # of comments deleted lately- why do peop;e do that????????
KevinFtMyers,
I once built a bike around a saddle -- and BSNYC just told me I didn't have a problem.
But then again, I didn't tell him that I didn't have a job.
Anonymous 2:06pm
All my bikes have James Huang's name on their top tube.
How about this, my son is 5, hes on his 4th bike, hes currently sporting an 18lb MCS micro with the 1 1/8 tires and a 40/16 with 145mm cranks, friggn kid books it on the street, and cant stop smiling on the track.
He already knows most of the components on a bike and likes looking at other peoples bike to size them up.
Is it OK for a 5yr old to say "I have a bad ass bike!"?
Maybe we could defray the extent of obsession by talking about the # of bikes per member of the household.
Example I have 4
my son 2
my wife 1
my daughter 1
Thats eight bikes for 4 people, so the number of bikes per member of houshold is 2.
I think I can get another bike!
...annazed...listen, i'm not gonna slam on your reactions to your perceived insulting of the now passed on george carlin...but whoa, woman, hold up a bit...
...i too will always be a fan of ol' george because his work lives on through various media formats...& while george carlin was extremely erudite, he always found wonderfully simple, 'down to earth', funny as hell, thought provoking ways of conveying the truth he saw around him...
...sometimes he was even goofy but the man was fucking brilliant & one thing george would probably have loved as a tribute would be having his irreverence appreciated...
...so no need to call out folks for perceived slights & create defensive posturing...& ya, this is one of those times when i'm being serious because i truly was shocked & saddened to see george's passing...
...so, R.I.P. george carlin...you were as honest in your comedy, as you were funny...
...& you were one fucking funny dude...
Has anyone touched on the graveyard aspect of their collection (or group or stable or fleet or herd)? I have two mod trials frames that are no longer ridable because of cracks and bent chainstays... For some reason they're still hanging around alongside my current trials bike, park/dj bike, and 3 track bikes.
Wait a tick... listing that, I just realized I need to fill a "bike with gears" slot.
What about the HotDog On a Stick bike?
http://www.durabletoys.com/toypics/k890180a.jpg
pardon my ignorance but whats a "dj" bike?
kevinfartmyers,
shut the fuck up.
Jeremy, I think the busted frames fall into the "memorabillia" category and should not count against you.
a dj bike usually has 1 or more turntables and a pa attached. They are typically only seen late night / early morning.
(dirt jump) or free style mountain biking on a man made course
but snob my inside bike is so fucked up i couldn't ride it. well, at least not without a hoard of teenagers brandishing their video/cells waiting for some horrible face plant to occur so they could youtube me/it onto the interweb. i removed the quill 3 years ago in a futile effort to remove the fork. stripped the threads outta the cranks trying to get at the bb. now there's at least 1/2" of slop tho i tell myself that it's improving my stroke. the rim tape on the front disappeared a while ago and some pushed spokes make inflating a waste of time. probably end up drilling/cutting my way to replace bb but still better than tossing it on top of the walmart shit pile at the local dump. ps. no geese all wknd. what kind of horrors are you pricks cooking up now?
Annazed --
Yeesh, bad day or something?
Geroge Carlin would probably be tickled that folks will be using his lines for years to come.
So what if Bluenoser used a couple without attribution?
We've all heard them before and many of us know where they came from.
And besides, they're funny.
And classics.
A 12:28--
So many panties, so little time,
or, for me, so many bib shorts...
Is it bad when other people's old and unwanted bikes come to die at your place?
THIS JUST IN: KEVINFARTMYERS JUST STARTED A FRIENDSTER PAGE AND HAS MORE FRIENDS THAN ANYONE! amazing. He truly has the power to brake down barriers and unite the people, all OVER the internet.
Erik K --
Nice Orange Julius bike!
But do you have anything in a Gray's Papaya?
Annazed -
I love the anger, which any comment section worth its salt should feature, but don't you think George, the irreverent comic, couldn't say much about somebody not showing him reverence?
g.c. 2:56
bravo.
ant1 3:05--
Better bikes than cats.
Annazed,
As I suspected, Bluenoser didn't even know he was quoting George Carlin.
"If you don't like the weather, wait a minute." - Mark Twain...or was it William Shakespeare? I first heard it from a cabbie.
Anon 1:21
frilly - good point, although, sometimes, an old pussy can be a better ride than a rusty schwinn.
OK, it's true, I am in a foul temper for reasons having nothing to do with this blog.
It is also true that this is Monday, and that George Carlin died yesterday, Sunday, and only made the papers today, Monday, making me some sort of moron who is wrong for saying that he died today.
That said, Brownnoser is no longer bothering me all that much but KevinWhatshisMeyers better watch himself.
...jeezus, frilly...you talking about panties makes me want to li...............
...the rest of this post has been removed by the author due to his having at least a modicum of taste & discretion...but not much...just sayin'...
I'll admit I have quite the stable of bicycles. If you only have one bike, well then you're just a dork who can't afford a car and is too fragrant for the bus. My stable now includes:
The Pro bike: a $13,000 special with every logo possible covering the entire frame and every part, these parts change daily according to what the UCI pros are riding, and of course is on the UCI weight limit of 6.8kgs. Of course, it has 5 inches of handlebar drop, a carbon saddle (not carbon fiber, pure carbon) and is unridable past three blocks. Unlike the "Huang", I had the name and phone number of my chiropractor placed on the top tube. The seat tube holds 25 Viagra pills necessary from the fit. The big bucks are due to the name brands.
The stealth bike Same as above, except with all the logos removed.
The Car Carrier Bike Problem: my hatchback holds my expensive road bike out of site, but then how do I show people on the freeway I'm a 'roadie'? Solution: the carrier bike, which is actually a duplicate bike that fits under a black Campagnolo lycra cover. It screams "look at me" and "fuck off" at the same time in perfect balance.
The Tufnel Bike Custom made steel frame made by Tibetan philosophers. 100% ceramic. Never ridden, not even looked at.
The Craigslist bike Again, never ridden, just waiting for that one part to come up on Craigslist. Occasionally, I like to crank up the handlebars and tilt the seat at wild angles and post it for sale as "rare".
and my newest steed:
The Fixed 11-speed Bike This is a 11-speed Super Record bike with the rear deraileur not cabled, best of all cool worlds.
I'm currently saving up for the fixed electronic group bike. The LCD display flashes "1" and it switches from 1 to 1 in a millisecond. Battery life is a bitch.
Snob,
Glad you're ok after your crash, especially your typing hands. Whatever bike you get, make sure the shop throws in a matching top tube pad.
I've got 6.5 bikes at the moment. One road bike has a Klein stem, though not a Klein frame/fork. One day, the LBS was selling Klein stems for literally $1 ea so I bought 2 (hoarder?). When I went to install one, I realized that the stem was 1 1/16" diameter, which required a ship to fit my 1" fork. Even back then, Gary realized that his riders might need that "little push over the cliff," though now he's evidently 3/16" short.
i was just in a a shop i worked out a few years back...raiding their collection of small parts--and holy ugly headtubes!
1point5 can't be far off...thank goodness!
Annazed,
Minding my business on this thread, trying to be better than on the other.
But for the record..I am not easily intimidated.
Sorry about GC, seems like you were a fan. Sucks when the people that make sense in the world are no longer around to make sense. Its like the world got dummer overnight.
smartypants said: "I love showing up at group rides with it and freaking out all the roadies, who instantly assume I'm gonna crash and burn because I have aero bars."
We wouldn't freak out if so many people didn't actually crash and burn in group rides while on aero bars. Just sayin'...
fartmeyers is pissing me off. why? seems harmless. nope, still pissed off. erik k please photoshop this guy into a far away place
I forgot one other bike:
The Parking Garage Bike This is strapped to the top of a minivan while driven into a parking garage at 30 mph while holding onto a latte while wearing my "Dentists for the Cure" lycra kit.
Here's my little quick aero bars test: Can you waive at other cyclists will riding in your aero position? No, then keep practicing. When I notice that over 50% of tri dorks are able to waive back at me when I waive to them, I'll stop making fun of them. For now, the percentage is holding steady at 3%, which makes it hard to believe that they are not a disaster waiting to happen.
Guys, I'm in a bad place right now, I just need to feel like I am a part of something. It will pass, just bear with me. I clearly don't have enough ammo to keep up this pace.
'It screams "look at me" and "fuck off" at the same time in perfect balance.'
And, that is exactly why bikes (& cars) are given girls' names.
Jim N.
"All my bikes have James Huang's name on the top tube"
Now that's funny!
There's also something to be said for the bikes attempting to accommodate several needs. Like racing bikes with triples.
I have got truckloads of what you need for that feeling of enhanced stiffness...Bicialis. Perhaps some Velovetra? Bikeagra?
The first 1.25 are free.
You've all overlooked the all-important "Clown Bike," which features at its core a 90s-era Klein hardtail frame. All components are lovingly cobbled together from Ebay, such as the "Stars & Stripes" or "Woodie" edition Sram 9.0sl rear derailler, purple anodized Kooka crankes, red anodized Onza bar ends, Citron anodized Mavic rims, Kore pedals, Green Ringle Moby post and/or SuperBubba hubs and various other sundry accoutrements.
Umm, three bikes and some old parts in a bin somewhere.
But one bike fits multiple categories:
Antique
Indoor
Never Ridden
Fixed 10-speed
Does this mean I have 6.2 bikes?
veloben - 6.2, would that be the new madone?
My family and friends have trouble understanding why when I get a new bike, the first thing I do is take it apart Then replace some of the brand new parts with other brand new parts.
Then taking the parts I took off and putting them on one of my other bikes, putting the old parts from that bike on another bike and so on and so forth.
Its like a game of tetris with bike components.
My wife also can not figure out why I keep changing parts on her bike that she never rides.
AnnaZed
It was not the late Mr. Carlin who invented the oxymoron.
http://tinyurl.com/4yp72
Although I'm surprised to not see Biker Babe on the list.
ant1 - Dude, it's "wave," good lord.
Not that I'm ticked off about it or anything.
Kevin dear, you are everything that people who work in bike shops hate, and I do mean HATE, about customers (a necessary evil) - regardless of how hard and long they grin at you at:
http://thebikeroute.com/
while taking your money.
Trust me on this.
I know.
In fact given a little research I could probably get your name. Fortunately, I really don't care about you enough to do that.
Yet.
I'd save my Look. No questions asked. Although I would try to throw my Country Road Bob off the balcony because it would probably bounce pretty well.
...direct george carlin quote while commenting years ago about his eventual death..."gee, he was just here a minute ago"...
"that's the way i wanna be remembered"...
...so lets all say it together to honor the man & his work...softly now, "gee, he was just here a minute ago"...
...fuck...he really was...
"If you're like me..."
WHO, might I ask, is "like you"??!!
No one out here anyway. Probably a good thing, but nice blog tho.
Woohoo! Angry Asian!
Sorry Annazed, i will work on that. I'm french and we love useless letters in the middle of words, especially "I" since we're all conceited (or should it be conceded?). I am glad you're not ticked off about it or anything though.
ant1, oh you are French. Well, that's alright then. In fact you do pretty well in English. I will not say that I have even been extended any grace from French people in France on my own pathetic attempts to speak French, but in their defense my attempts are very, very bad.
erik k. pls man he's still here....
Hey, guys, I just figured I'd post this guy.
http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/2008/june/3/ChrisChou.htm
It's best not to encourage RTMS. Maybe that's ironic.
Sorry if that has already been posted. I haven't been able to cruise the replies the last couple posts.
BMX, single, fixie...I think I'm ok for now. I recently got a hankerin' for a multispeed long-hauler and that might start pushing it over the edge.
kevinfartssmelllikeburningtires, pls. do you read the other posts?
Can someone explain why white tires even exist? Even for little girl's bikes, why?
And if they are clean, then what does that say about a person.
I mean really.
kevinfuckingfartmyers,
You need to change a part in your head. I think a screw is loose.
bgw--
Sweetie, meant to tell ya, easy on the panties visual. We don't want any Flanders scenarios with AndyPandy.
No matter how much you might want to be *paddled*.
"... since I smashed my last one to bits Pete Townshend-style this past weekend after failing to win yet another road race...."
Too Bad; I bet with a top tube pad and aero spoke wheels and some other goodies you could have made big bucks on Craigslist. Or maybe you still plan to do that to fund your New project !
Ant1
I wish, I'd look good sliding off the back of the pack and into the front of the killer garbage trucks on Sheridan Rd.
No the parts bin is worth 0.2 bike.
I usually enjoy reading your posts but this one hit a little too close to home, your starting to sound like my girlfriend snobbie. I'm not sick, I can stop whenever I want, besides my barn is only half full.
Given the state of the economy and the generally accepted response to every crisis is 'go shopping' I'd suggest the the answer to the central question posed by today's addition to the BSNYC manifesto is:
As many as you can purchase or get some one else to purchase via persuasion or theft.
Buy a bike for every occasion, member of your family, lovers, neighbors, strangers passed in the night or task at hand. The resulting demand for locked storage will also revitalize the construction industry and in no time America's GDP growth rate will rival China and India combined.
RTMS thank you, thank you for posing the question whose patriotic answer will increase personal debt and make Trek the new Northrup Grumman of carbon fiber consumption.
May I just add the too-good-to-be-true unpainted top-of-the-line carbon-fiber ghost-frame that is supposedly on its way directly from the TenTech factory floor that I recently "purchased." Since it is in all likelihood unreal, we can just say the thing is occupying too much space in the part of my brain labeled "sucker" -- doing my best to clear it out immediately. The larceny in my veins got the best of me.
A little while ago I emailed you about my friend with 5 bikes who refuses to sell any of them. Now he's talking about getting a mountain bike for some reason... I dunno where he plans to store all this shit when we're living together next year, but there's no way in hell it's going to be in the hallway or anywhere near my room.
1) R3 - Road races with hills
2) Soloist SL - Crits and flat RR
3) P2C - Time Trial races
4) Baum Ristretto - Track races
5) Parlee Z1 - 150 km, or 40, ride to coffee shop on Sunday arvos
"Kevin dear, you are everything that people who work in bike shops hate, and I do mean HATE, about customers (a necessary evil) - regardless of how hard and long they grin at you at:"
And you my dear are why the internet bike biz is BOOMING!
High markups, shitty stock, mechanics that dont know any more than anyone whose taken apart a bike and put it back together.
Been in the bike route, nice guys in there, but they would rather sell a newbie a $1000+ cannondale than talk bike with you. Doubt you could get my name. Always pay cash, no special orders.
My shop is Ft Myers cyclery. Owner is an old roadie, has some nice classics hanging from the rafters and its 1 mile from my house. Buy my family's bikes in there but none of my stuff.
Dont know what kind of shop youre in but if they actually have bike salespeople Im sure its a big box store with plenty of corporate bike company representation.
The shops I would love to frequent dont exist here. Shops that are more like skate shops, with frames and components and you go in and pick your stuff and they build a bike for you. No salespeople, just a good mechanic with good shit building and fixing (repairing) bikes.
so uh, what are you getting at? you started a blog, start a skate shop style track shop in ft. myers. sky's the limit. Why go on and on and on and on and on and on...
Anonymous,
Ive been trying yo ignore you today, youre persistant (or dense).
FYI-Im not posting for youre benefit, so there just isnt anything more irrelevant in my life than how you feel about me or my posts. Sorry, I know thats hard to take.
Find another crusade, youre wasting your keystrokes, this ones a losing battle.
By the way - name calling? Really?
You shaving yet?
who the fuck is george carlin?
Tech,
I already own / run a small business. Besides, bike community here is pretty commercialized. Just not the market for a REAL shop. More like bike STORES, that have "salespeople".
Alot of spandex roadies and (the more rediculous) spandex mountain bikers. Nothing wrong with spandex mind you, but would it kill these guys to throw a fucking pair of shorts over them?
Alot of people here worried more about how they look and component brands than whether or not enough public monies are allocated for cycling accomodations and resources.
I would like to do it, but not if I have to close it down after 6mo because my 3 of 4 customers cant buy enough to keep the doors open.
Just out of curiousity, for who's benefit are you posting? YOU pretty much dominated the board today.
who the fuck is jonathan? ...
oh hai techb3!
its been a while. hows things?
Oh ok, I guess. I ran into this guy, kevinftmyers, and I can't quite figure out what he's going through. How you been?
Another word about how lame it is where I live, I ride a trail bike here in southwest FLA on the local trails (Caloosahatchee regional Park) mostly singletrack witha few very short climbs of like 40 deg x 12ft elevation. No lie, guys out there in full spandex riding dual suspension 27 speed bikes like they are running a race at Moab or something. By the way, a geared dual suspension bike in FLA is like riding a TT bike to the store for a sixer.
Im the only guy I know riding ridgid single speed, my SS is also a 29er, I know of 1 other guy running biggins, but its geared. I dont know of anyone else riding a fixie.
And you wonder why this blog would be interesting to me.
Hey what did I miss? I just got back from Blog Commentator Abuse Therapy.
BCAT, an up and coming career.
Then I stopped in to see a channeler to talk to my deceased Acadian French Grandmother to ask her why she never taught me how to spell our second official language correctly.
After all they have only been here since 1605 but my side only goes back 9 generations, but I suppose they are only poseur Frenchmen.
And if you think I spell things wrong try growing up with someone who speaks Chiac.
I'm sure the bike salespeople in Moncton know how to speak Chiac.
-B
yeh, things are ok i guess.
except for all these extra comments i have to scroll through...
how is kevin these days? i just dont hear enough from him.
don't usually leave comments but wanted to say you are the best. it seems like your posts have gotten me to laugh out loud more and more lately.
Alright guys, no more from me today, going for a ride.
KevinFtMeyers
A lot is two words.
Have a nice ride.
1) R3 - Road races with hills
2) Soloist SL - Crits and flat RR
3) P2C - Time Trial races
4) Baum Ristretto - Track races
5) Parlee Z1 - 150 km, or 40, ride to coffee shop on Sunday arvos
"...but they would rather sell a newbie a $1000+ cannondale than talk bike with you...."
Bawahaaaaaa, I can just see the employees headed for the hills, bathroom, backroom or parking lot when old Kevin comes through the door. Bet those transaction-free "bike talks" just make their days.
I could not afford both a therapist and multiple bikes so one had to go.
Hey Frills sorry to disappoint you but males are generally a visually driven beast, unless BGW is a switch hitter or a 16 yo girl in a school library. I tried stalking Mr Fab C through Flanders but he shook me off in the last 2 kms.
salmon bike?
Oh my, Proust reference. Snobbery and elitism? I bet you don't feel at home an Applebees salad bar, do you Elitist Bike Snob NYC.
Anna,
Exactly what Im talking about.
Im not suggesting anyone in a shop should walk away from a sale to shoot the shit. Im a business person.
But they dont really talk bike ever, even when they are doing something mindless like assembling yet another brand new electra. Its a bike store.
Bike store = business, like a car dealership. Lots of shiny new bikes. Lots of pretty displays. When they close they get in their suv and drive home.
Bike shop = an ace mechanic selling the stuff he rides, talking bikes w/ the people who ride all the time, whether they are buying that day or not, and when the shop closes, he doesnt go home, he sits in the back for an hour drinking beers and talking bikes some more.
Which one are you in?
To other posters who may not know this simple fact: never (repeat never) enter the work area of a bike shop (where the wrenches are working) unless specifically and personally invited to do so, really never. It is rude, obnoxious and even dangerous (even assembling Electras requires concentration). People who do this are universally hated. You will know if you are welcome in that space, unless you are clueless, in which case just take this post very seriously to heart.
Kevin,
I thought you were going riding. When you do and some newbie on a $10000 cannondale in full lycra smiles and says hello, smile back. You will pedal a little lighter afterwards.
If you do not like the service guys do it yourself. Get a video or strip the bike down yourself. Nothing better than knowing your own bikes. I only trust one other mechanic to do my bikes. As for talking bikes I would rather ride em
More wisdom: If you find yourself feeling that the staff of the local bike shop simply will not "talk bike" with you consider the following:
Are you possibly the kind of person who once every five years or so buys a kids bike or a hybrid for the members of your family that don't merit a decent bike (that would be every member besides yourself).
Do you like to stand in stores where you have no intention of ever buying anything but said cheap family bikes gassing on and on and on about Campagnolo parts and Mavic wheels that you will never purchase?
Do you think $1,000 is a lot of money for a bike?
In which case you are right, the staff do not want to "talk bike" with you, they hate you.
...ap...that assessment is not even worth a comment other than to say "noted"...
Anna,
I dont buy stuff from bike stores for the same reason people who know how to cook dont buy cookware from Macys. Its not what you want, and if they get you what you want you pay too much for it.
I am welcome in the pits at my normal shop, Ft Myers Cyclery, I talk bike (which includes talking about rides not components)with them on a regular basis.
As far as $1000, that is the worst value price point in the industry. Typically you are paying for a good frame with shit components or an older technology frameset dressed up with commercialy recognizable "good" components. (105, XT, Truvativ, Bontrager)
My ATB is up to about $2200...and its a hardtail singlespeed. Not one peice of shimano on it. So no, I dont think a grand is a lot for a bike, just for a BIKE STORE bike.
Kevin, you're a git. Why do you comment so prolifically here when you obviously have no clue what's going on.
We only hate you because you're wasting our reading time. I don't give a hoot what you ride , why you ride, who wrenches your ride, or what your kid rides.
I've done my time, and, as annazed has said, when you are welcome, the shop will let you know. You come across on this blog as a "know-it-all". If you were to walk into my shop with that attitude, I'd give you the briefest time of day, and look for someone less boorish to talk to.
You ride alone as your choice, or so you think. Cycling is not the solo sport you want it to be. Live for the group ride, share the work, do your pulls.
I don't think I could ride with you, but you would be one of those guys we start with, just for an incentive to ride as hard as we can to drop as soon as we can. It's not for fun, but trying to get them on board with the sport.
I doubt you would recognize the lesson.
BSNY - this comment section is off the hook.
Sprider: I have been riding my Trek 728 across the US, EU, and South America since it and I were new. Never rode with a partner. Never hope to. Humans are not herd animals.
Bike shop = an ace mechanic selling the stuff he rides, talking bikes w/ the people who ride all the time, whether they are buying that day or not, and when the shop closes, he doesnt go home, he sits in the back for an hour drinking beers and talking bikes some more.
Which one are you in?
Aah, the real one?
Long hours, 7 days a week, taxes, payroll, insurance, paying the interest on the loan to carry the stock for a year, keeping the right stock and parts on the shelf, not spending money on something that will not move, dealing with returns and defective merchandise, dealing with loss control, hiring new people, firing dead beats, training sales people, scheduling sales and wrenches, tracking new products, meeting with reps, hosting customer development events, planing next year's inventory, keeping storage costs down, finding time to ride, develop some new track talent.
When the shop closes the registers have to be reconciled, the money deposited, calls made and returned and then spend time with the family.
What would a bike talker do with a million dollars? Open a bike shop, the money will keep them going for a year or two.
judi, you are soo right.
I didn't even remember to comment about the post.
Doctor, doctor, help me out. the only thing that kept me from adding another ride to my "stable" this week was that she's out of production and not available til November.(frilly, I'd still like to name her).
andy, I'm with you on the waves, it's just cool to ride.
OBTW, Kevin, I didn't even change out of the chamois from tonight's group ride yet. I was soo interested in what you may post I couldn't wait. I guess I should've hit the shower sooner.
fuck off kevin. no one likes you.
joel, we're more like monkeys, working together socially, probably "pack-like" as opposed to "herd-like".
I hope I'm not offending any creationists with the monkey reference.
sprider,
Im not a roadie, so group rides are not my thing, my investment (time and money) is in dirt, I ride with some buddies not alone. But I cant get out to the trails daily, so I built the fixie to ride everyday.
So no I probably dont understand, not scared to admit that.
Anna made a comment how bike shop people dont like guys like me, I responded with the reasons Im not all broken up about that.
Thats the only reason I became detailed in my 411.
sprider,
on, but some of the chimps may be a little pissed.
"fuck off kevin. no one likes you."
Is this a popularity contest?
Or maybe one of those gay reality shows where you text in the the people you want to stay on the show?
If right Sprider, then guess I take after the Orang Utan, old man alone in the jungle.
The best of us, Diogenes, Siddhartha, Thoreau, Dickenson stayed away from the group.
Are there actually adults that use "gay" as a pejorative? I did not know that. Sad though it is.
Kevin, you tool you, go take your meds!
veloben, I hear you.
re: he sits in the back for an hour drinking beers and talking bikes some more.
do you think Kevin is buying the beer?
amen veloben
So Ben, youre not a librarian?
Right on Veloben, thats exactly how a bike store is run.
thanks for getting us back on track, joel.
erik k, can you get us an "Orang Utan, old man alone in the jungle, Julius" photo ASAP?
Off Topic: Pistadex Alert! '03 Bianchi Pista - $250
Is this the 7th Seal of the Apocalypse?
Kevin,
anyone who hangs out at work to drink is called an alcoholic. Most people have lives, and families.
"Kevin,
anyone who hangs out at work to drink is called an alcoholic. Most people have lives, and families."
Key word in that statement is "work". Its not work to everyone.
Sprider, to sum up for both riding and surfing... It is not what you ride it is how you ride it. Paddling out , you know the hard guys just by a look and their paddling style not the lastest rig or colour of their gear. Same in a fast bunch ride. Some just don't cut it and they get left behind or crushed by the next set
"Its not work to everyone."
No, no it's not. Sigh.
For those of us for whom it IS our work, "hanging out" with store-bores drinking beer is just not a thing that we do.
andy, surf reference is appropriate, I live near the best break (not brake) in the Midwest (you've seen us, Dana's movie)
So, is RTMS paying flamers like Kevin and that 3b to get more people to comment, thereby increasing his income from the ads? Comment volume is through the roof lately.
Just wondering...
I can do you one better for 09 headset size madness:
Specialized (in their pathological continued quest to make even more barely-differentiated bikes) will have both the 1-1/8 + 1-1/4 headtubes and a new size: 1-1/8+1-3/8. (the word from my outside rep on the 09 Tarmac and Roubaix lines)
1 1/14"? Gary Fisher was right all along....
mb
I hear Ft. Myers is a great place to retire to.
Anonymous said...Pistadex Alert! '03 Bianchi Pista - $250...Is this the 7th Seal of the Apocalypse?
What that looks like is a stolen bike.
This:
$250.00 firm cash only. It will be available at Union Square Park South (by the steps) on Wednesday 6/25 from 12pm-2pm.
would support that theory. Well, that and the rattle-can paint job.
I hope the owner sees the listing and shows up at Union Square to give the ass-hat a beat-down. Wish I could be there. Maybe the snob will go and take pictures. There have been these weird Fight Club things happening at Union Square lately, so, no one will care.
yep , that pista is SO stolen. hopefully the owner will see this and be there with a posse to beat 7 shades of shit outta the low-life thief...
also, kevin. im a librarian. what of it?
Is modifying an old Schwinn mountain bike to make it into a winter road bike - then having only the orignal handlebars left when finished, and then replacing those with carbon bars symptomatic?
(Yes the original frame was kept for a longtime before a move forced tossing.)
I don't know who is worse,Kevin or that dentist that listed his bike collection twice.
I recently gave away four of my bikes and are now left with only three. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!
Good comments people. Keep it up.
Shit. Took me 184 posts to realize Kevinfartmyers is really as boring as I thought.
Yes, this definitely is a popularity contest, thanks for playing anyway, you get the home version of "BSNYC: The Game".
Not sure if anyone is still reading these comments, but...
KevinFtMyers - I live in Sarasota, I know a lot of trails that would be brutal to ride on a fully rigid SS 29r that are a total blast on my 36lb fully with a 1x9 drivetrain
Annazed - are you a wrench at your shop? Cuz, a lady wrench who can use the word "pejorative" correctly in a sentence....oh, my!
JPB
i started my dream shop
OTHER WORRIES (BESIDES CRAPPY 1" STEERER)
ZIPPS WITHOUT ZITS
NO HOLLOX AXLE CAMPY BB - (considering a fake hole decal for right side spindle to hide unsightly hex socket cap screw)
SOLID BRAKES - NOT SKELETONS
annazed,
Yes, people still use the term "gay" pejoratively. I have confirmed this here in Toronto with slightly younger (thirty something) gay friends. They distinguish between "downtown gay" and "suburban gay," the latter of which seems to mean "dumb."
1) '80s Raleigh converted to fixed for commuting/beer/trackstands
2) '70s Fuji converted to 3-speed for commuting/rain/cruising/groceries
3) '80s Guerciotti with friction shifters for road rides/vintage love.
Total cost: About $1100. You guys need to find better things to spend your money on.
In the works:
4) SS MTB for offroad/winter commuting/curb jumpin'
Annazed - are you a wrench at your shop? Cuz, a lady wrench who can use the word "pejorative" correctly in a sentence....oh, my!
Ah, no, even I must look for signals of a friendly nature to enter the wrench area. I do true my own wheels and such though I know that doesn't count. For heavier tasks I like to bribe a pro guy with hero sandwiches and snicker bars into doing it for me so it will be right.
They are my heroes, truly.
Anger, pejorative pixils, the word "wrench", the "gay" plus more anger....
Hawt Damn AZ....I think I'm having a fit of pixil lust for all things AnnaZed! (blush)
Annazed - Ah, well...(wistful sigh, sound of dreams shattering)
I still applaud your polysylabic vocabulary.
JPB
I wonder what Koichi Yamaguchi thinks, I just saw some photos of his home on flickr. He probably has over a hundred bikes and frames tucked in every possible corner of his home and workshop. Does he have a stable, or is it a ranch?
Sprider--
Absolutely you will name her! Oh, but what?
i think the appropriate stable size in NYC is directly proportional to apartment size.
0BR(studio): 1 bike
1BR: 1-2 bikes
2BR: 2-4 bikes
3BR: this is likely bigger than most of the NYC bike shops, therefore there's no maximum.
Anonymous Sarasota,
Not fully ridgid, Fox F29 100mm out front, 40 / 16 gear ratio. Its not as hard as you think. Its all about riding with momentum, you have to carry speed through everything and keep spinning, you stop pedaling, you have to work hard to get it back.
I do have to admit though, down here at CRP we have a new double black diamond section, and I strugle, but its all designed to be that way, not really the natural lay of the land. More like they built the trail to run into and over every log, good size rock and hole they could find.
"[S]ince I smashed my last one to bits Pete Townshend-style this past weekend after failing to win yet another road race ...."
Did you destroy your bike in a crash in the Cadence Prospect Park Series race on Saturday?
SD,
Sorry to disappoint your small and jealous mind.
That was not my collection, I only have a 1) and a 12 y.o. Trek 370 with down-tube shifters (use google.com to find out what they are). And dentistry is not my specialty.
The list is simply a few options for someone looking for bikes (eg.BSNYC), with a little humour attached to it due to their prices. Don’t worry if you don’t see it! Repeating the post was just a way of reminding people like yourself that the blog and comments are not about you. Lightly, once again.
Now, thanks for visiting amrcycling.blogspot.com (shame you didn't read the contents and/or didn't understand anything) leaving two comments with the intention of challenging me into a time-wasting war of ego nourished annotations, too often posted by disguised identities, like yourself. And I will post them so people who often read my blog can ask: Who is that SD wanker?
Have a good night and good luck trying to get a “podium” placing!
Just one question: did you pay someone to take that studio-style photograph in your hidden profile?
So ya OK Twinkie boy is guilty of all of the above bike snob violations. I even tricked out my inside only bike ( Trek 1000 alpha series all aluminum) with inside trainer use only tires, ya both front and rear tires. Sooooo I even have bikes not mentioned in the Blog like the " Comb over bike " . Similiar to older guys combing hair over their bald spot I have a specific bike tricked out to make me look way faster and younger than I am . I also have a " decepticon" bike that is set up to look like a commuter with the saddle bags and all but its really a camouflaged race bike. The idea is to be riding in blue jeans and saddle bags when the spandex clad tri geek goes by tucked into the aero bars and then you bring out your A game and repass the dude with your Decepticon bike. Ya I am guilty of all of it and more. So is there a support group out there for peeps like me , until I read the article I was un willing to even admit I had any sort of Bike Snob problem at all. Currently working in my garage building up my new " Terrorist Gotcha bike" to be left unlocked downtown Menasha. I have the top tube designed so when its stolen on the 23 rd wheel rotation the hidden plastic explosives ignite and the rider is on the ground and unable to produce any future little bike thieves. Godspeed , peace out , Twinkie Boy
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