BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Before we begin, two things:

1) If you popped in yesterday looking for me, you may have noticed I wasn't here.  This is because it's been a bit of a hectic week, owing to the fact my four year-old managed to bust his collar bone the other day--and before you ask, no, he wasn't wearing a helmet.  Then again, he also wasn't riding a bike either.  See, here in the Bronx we have lots of rocky outcroppings and other interesting geological features, which of course the kiddies love to climb.  Unfortunately, while climbing one such outcropping, he managed to take a rather impressive fall.  Anyway, it's a simple fracture, he's healing well, and he's taking it all in stride.  (Oddly I think he minds it less than the splinter he got last week, so go figure.)  And yes, obviously he should have been wearing a rock-climbing helmet, so I fully admit I'm an irresponsible parent;

B) Speaking of kids, next week schools are closed for winter recess, so you probably won't see me here very much during that time, though I may pop in now and again.  (And I'm also planning to update the Bike Forecast, so feel free to swing by.)  In any case, figure the week of the 25th I'll be more present, what with schools back open and bones knitting and so forth.

Hey, I'm an artisanal father, deal with it.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you're right, and if you're wrong you'll learn how to stop your fixie...for old time's sake.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and refrain from taking the quiz while cycling.


--Tan Tenovo

1) According to a guy with a beard, this country is a cycling paradise:

--Bhutan
--Malaysia
--Australia
--Cleveland

2) Fill in the blank:

"Brakes are for _______."

--stopping
--slowing
--woosies
--kids

(Your's truley getting a ticket for wearing Rapha and having a corny tattoo.)

3) After a cyclist was killed by a hit-and-run driver in midtown Manhattan, the NYPD ticketed a rider for which perfectly legal act?

--Riding barefoot
--Using a Bluetooth handlebar speaker
--Cycling without a helmet
--Excessive saddle-to-bar drop

4) What's happening here?

--Tubeless tire mishap
--Rolled through construction site
--Encountered a new type of road salt
--Dough-kneading is the new gravel-grinding

(Photo by On The Route Bicycles, I think...using it regardless because I lack integrity.)

5) I am practically oozing with integrity.

--True
--False

(Photo: Ted Bongiovanni)

6) What am I doing?

--Asking questions about how Consumer Reports tests helmets
--Preparing to catch a helmet being tossed to me by a robot
--Holding the imaginary baby I plan to subject to impact testing
--Just generally trying not to touch anything because I'm a huge germaphobe

7) I should probably take better care of my bicycles.

--True
--True

***Special "Awww, Isn't That Nice?"--Themed Bonus Video***

Adorbs.

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Hello!

I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see an Australian children's song, or alt-pop hit, I can't quite tell which.

Ride safe, ride safely, and enjoy riding safely this weekend.

Safely.

Love,


--Wildcat Rock Machine

(Shouldn't they upgrade their logo to a thru-axle already?)

1) Big news!  Campagnolo is coming out with:

--A 12-speed drivetrain
--A mountain bike group
--Gravel-specific ergo shifters
--A new top-tier groupset called "Super Duper Record"

2) This hub is superior to other hubs because it has:

--A "sharply digressive spring curve"
--A "linear digression increasing exponentially along its radius"
--A "tangentially opposed spoke orientation for increased lateral stiffness"
--Holes and stuff

("Come in Schrader?")

3) How much for this digital tire pressure monitor?

--$19.99
--$199
--$1,999
--Will come pre-installed on all new gravel bikes as per new CPSC guidelines

4) Dishwashers are more efficient than hand-washing.

--True
--False

5) Fill in the blank: "Adults Are ___________ San Francisco On Tiny Electric Scooters"

--Traveling
--Ruining
--Terrorizing
--Fleeing

6) Lucas Brunelle is a big Hall and Oates fan.

--True
--False

7) The cure for helmet hair is:

--Not wearing a helmet

--Not having hair

--Pert Plus shampoo

--All of the above

***Special Crime Of The Century Bonus Video!***

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Happy Friday!  I'm now pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see "Alligator up!"

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and watch for large reptiles.


--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) "L'Eroica" is Italian for:

--The Erotic
--The Bold
--The Beautiful
--The Eroica

2) According to Outside Magazine's Facebook friends, I am a hipster.

--True
--False

(Al Spinks)

3) Who is Al Spinks?

--The first Canadian to ride Paris-Roubaix, in 1939
--Chris Froome's asthma specialist
--A wealthy Texan with a penchant for wooden bicycles
--He's whoever you want him to be

4) Motor vehicles are forbidden on this trail.  Why are they driving here?

--Google Maps directed them onto it
--They're looking for lost keys
--They're looking for a bathroom
--They wanted to take a hike but they're afraid of rabid coyotes

5) How many human rabies cases are reported annually in the United States?

--1,000 to 3,000
--100 to 300
--75-100
--1 to 3

6) What is this bar called?

--The Biplane
--The Hoverbar
--The Double-Decker
--The Rivendon't

7) Skitching is out; _____________ is in.

--"subway surfing"
--"riding up escalators"
--"intentionally loosening your stem bolts"
--"riding without a saddle"

8) What is he thinking about?

--His new Portland luxury apartment
--How he's going to get the drivetrain grease out of his shirt
--What's making his hair stand up
--What a fucking hipster Bike Snob is

***Special I-Have-No-Idea-Whether-This-Is-A-Joke-Or-Not-Themed Bonus Video!***

Waiting for the Zwift-specific helmet.

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

***Edit: the new Outside post is up, and it's all about the Renovo!***

And now back to today's post.

It's Friday, which means at some point Outside will probably publish my latest column, assuming it passes muster:

No no, that's passes muster.

Damn AI virtual photo editor.

Anyway as soon as they do I'll let you know when it happens.

Of course ,my last column was all about drop bars:

And my favorite guilty pleasure when it comes to writing this column is to peruse the enraged comments on Outside's Facebook:

This last batch was particularly amusing because of how many people got all hurt in the butt over that wet noodle of a Trump joke:

Logan Kirkpatrick Outside Magazine, this is just poor taste. This will only make the magazine lose more readers, definitely not a way to win any new ones. Be mature and keep your political biases to yourself or personal blogs. Stick to the magazine subject matter, otherwise you're shooting yourself in the foot.

It's hard to imagine a more gentle, politically neutral Trump reference.  Is it really news to anybody that this guy tweets a lot?  I mean, if I wanted to be politically biased I'd have said roadies neglect their drops like Trump neglects Puerto Rico, but notice I didn't go there.

But my favorite incensed commentary came from this reader:

Amanda Resch Exactly. Snob is getting old and can’t come to grips with it so he’s taking it out on all of us- his local trails suck and he doesn’t have time to go anywhere exciting- he writes articles about how suspension is useless and everyone should just pedal around their neighborhood. He can’t reach the drops anymore, so he writes an article on how drops are useless. Never seen someone go out of their way like this to justify their sorry life choices. RIP Bike Snob, it was good while it lasted.

Who left not one but two real humdingers:

Amanda Resch Poor Snob, he’s completely run out of ideas. This end of career flailing about is difficult to watch. Can someone please give him a time machine so he can go back to 2008 and 
write about Craigslist fixies again?

Wow.

I certainly don't begrudge this person's right to disparage my work in a public forum, but I think it's only fair that I have the opportunity to respond.  So please indulge me as I fact check her critiques point by point:

Snob is getting old...  This is undeniably true.  Aren't we all?

...and can’t come to grips with it  I put forth that this is false.  I think I'm embracing my age rather well.  Not only am I totally cool with balding, but I also just had a colonoscopy.  (Bonus: I finally found that valve extender I was looking for.)  Also, I'm cool with all sorts of things now that used to make my head explode, like crooked saddles and pie plates, and even salmoning hardly registers with me anymore.  (Though my newfound casual attitude could be because I finally got that valve extender out of my ass.)

his local trails suck  So very false.  The trails outside of New York City are great by any metric.  I know this because I've been around.  Speaking of which...

he doesn’t have time to go anywhere exciting Also false.  Oh sure, it feels like that sometimes.  After all, we all wish we could travel and ride more, don't we?  But since starting this blog I've gone places and done rides I might never have otherwise.  I've visited Australia.  I've gone to Europe.  I've ridden L'Eroica.  I've been all over the United States.  Singlespeed World Championships, riding with Tour de France winners (well, former Tour de France winners), Bicycling Editor's Choice confab, Rivendell ride...  Certainly I'm traveling a little less now so I can look after the kiddies, but it looks like I'll finally get to ride L'Eroica California this coming spring, which is something I've been wanting to do for awhile.  Oh, and also I live in New York City, which is pretty damn exciting in itself.  And despite my child care responsibilities I seem to have ridden more since July than my detractor has all year, so perhaps I can teach her something about time management:

he writes articles about how suspension is useless and everyone should just pedal around their neighborhood  Guilty as charged.  People totally shouldn't ride around their neighborhoods.  Instead they should use their cars for short trips.  Also they should load suspension bicycles onto SUVs and spend more time driving than riding.

He can’t reach the drops anymore...  So very false.  Sure, I've mostly downsized to a 120mm stem from the 130mm I preferred in my racing days, but you can bet I'm still reaching for the drops like I'm at IHOP and it's the maple syrup.

Never seen someone go out of their way like this to justify their sorry life choices.  Really, have you missed the whole Harvey Weinstein thing?

I think Amanda Resch could use a time machine back to 2008, she seems to have really enjoyed that fixie material.

Fortunately there's always Google, which is the next-best thing.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right great, and if you're wrong you'll see Inflate-A-Head.

Thanks for reading, ride safe, and pass the mustard.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) What does the other glove say?

--"Hella"

--"Hello"

--"Handlebar"

--"Wood"

2) How much for this watch?

--$8,000

--$80,000

--$800,000

--Free with a Scattante

3) "I am in the process of converting a bike from Shimano Dura-Ace 7900 to Ultegra 6870 DI2. I have the BT-DN110-1 internal battery, a EW-RS910 handlebar end junction, and the SM-BCR2 battery charger. I have used the E-Tube software to update the firmware on all of the various components and everything seems to be operating just fine. I am still waiting on a rear wheel that can carry the 11-speed cassette, so I do not actually have the bike on the road yet.

My question is, how do I make sure the synchro-shift functionality is completely disabled?"

--When you simultaneously push both shift buttons on one lever, the LED indicator lights on Junction A will tell you what is going on. They will first tell you the battery level by only illuminating the battery LED (in the proper color to indicate your battery level). If you have the option for Synchro shift, this will be followed by both lights simultaneously glowing or flashing. If the battery LED glows green and the “+-” LED glows red, with neither of them flashing, the bike is in Manual shift mode. If these green and red LEDs flash twice, then S1 shift mode is operational, and if they flash three times, the bike is in S2 shifting mode. If on the other hand, only the battery light glows and is not followed by both lights coming on, then your bike is not currently set up to even go into Synchro mode at all, and you are simply in Manual mode.

--ハリウッドの映画制作では、ヌードまたはセミヌードシーンでの生殖器の不用意な露出を避けるために、マーキンを俳優や女優が着用することができます。メルキンを適所に置いて、必要に応じて股の短いフラッシュを使用することができます。マッキンキンの存在は、俳優が不注意に「正面全体」ヌードを行うのを防ぎます。いくつかの契約では、特に乳首や性器を何らかの方法でカバーすることが求められています。
--Jargon is thus "the technical terminology or characteristic idiom of a special activity or group". Most jargon is technical terminology, involving terms of art or industry terms, with particular meaning within a specific industry.
--Dunno

4) I don't have time to go anywhere exciting.

--True
--False

5) Fill in the blank: these parents are deeply concerned about the threat that ______ traffic poses to their children.

--Car
--Truck
--Bus
--Bicycle

6) Why is this kid delighted?

--He just got a new bike
--He just got a new plastic SUV
--His parents just defeated the bike lane that would have passed by his school
--Two words: "Kale chips!"

7) Mirror mirror on the wall, who's most butt-hurt of them all?

--Vehicular cycling advocates
--Trump supporters
--Suspension proponents
--All of the above

***Special Metaloid-Themed Bonus Video!***

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

At some point or another I'm assuming there will be a new Outside post, but pending that I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll rejoice, and if you're wrong you'll see gumption.

Thanks very much, ride safe, and boom shanka.


--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) Who is David Lappartient?

--The French Minister of the Interior
--Leader of the Quebec separatist movement, "Ville de Splits"
--The new UCI President
--He's you, he's me, he's all of us

(Another Guinness record holder and a true inspiration to us all)

2) British endurance cyclist Mark Beaumont has set the Guinness record for:

--Circumnavigating the globe (43 days)
--Back-to-back Iron Man triathlons (72)
--Trackstanding at an intersection (76 hours)
--Folding and unfolding a Brompton (1,746,203 times)

(Surf's up)

3) A Dutch safety foundation wants to ban:

--Ebikes
--Babies in bakfietsen
--Bikes with top tubes
--Cycling in clogs

4) Move over, North Korea!  Teenagers on bikes must be stopped, for they are the single greatest threat to American society.

--True
--False

5) Trek was recently sued by a group representing the intellectual property rights of which deceased comedian?

--John Belushi
--Chris Farley
--George Carlin
--Joe DeRosa

(TFW u nailed the test)

6) The next trend in pro roadie performance enhancement is going to be:

--Fecal transplants
--Maglev wheel bearings
--Turbine suppositories
--Shoe doping

7) Ride like...

--You stole it
--Your life depends on it
--The wind
--The total Fred that you are

***Special Big-BMX-Bikes-Are-The-Hot-New-Thing-Themed Bonus Video!***

Single speed bikes with knobby tires will never die.

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

***UPDATE***

Here it is, my new Outside column!

Braise the lard and holy luau!

My latest Outside column (or "Oootside" if you're Canadian) should materialize on the world wide whatever-it-is imminently, at which point you can be sure I'll pop back in here let you know.  In the meantime however I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then go buy yourself something nice, and if you're wrong you'll see bicycling safety.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and always remember to wear a flotation device while cycling.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) What did this woman say to the bell-ringing horn-blower?

--"Fuck you"

--"Get bent"

--"Blow me"

--"Ring this, asshole"

2) What is this protuberance?

--A theft-prevention system

--A GPS sensor

--An axle-stiffening device

--A bearing temperature monitor

3) These people are assholes.

--True

--False

4) Which band will not be on the bill for the Velorama Music Festival?

--Death Cab for Cutie

--Wilco

--Tennis

--Bradley Wiggins's Oasis cover band, "Wonderwall"

5) Rapha has been bought by the heirs to which fortune?

--The Mars candy fortune

--The Walmart retail fortune

--The Butt family supermarket fortune

--The Primal Wear "Crankenstein Jersey" fortune

6) I'm on Strava now.

--True

--False

7) Recon Jet smart sunglasses have been:

--Recalled

--Discontinued

--Bought by Apple

--Made mandatory in Australia

***Special "They Don't Make 'Em Like That Anymore"-Themed Bonus Video!***