Tuesday, October 29, 2019

New Outside Column!

Just a quick note to alert you to my latest column for Outside, which is all about that new Lummox Matrix helme(n)t:


Spoiler alert: I don't like it.

Also, remember how I mentioned I fell off my bike because the cable housing was too short?  Well, I'm pleased to report I've now solved the problem--not by installing a longer cable housing, but by putting the shorter stem back on there.  Done, and done.

Now that's how you lazy.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

The final sentence in your Outside article is pure genius! You nailed it, sir!

Anonymous said...

I always thought that putting a xenon strobe, the kind used to warn pilots from flying into tall structures, on the top of your safety beanie was the way to go. It's hard to say you couldn't see it because it has 360 degree visibility and it is BRIGHT!

Chazu said...

At approx 5:15 AM on a weekday morning in September, I was out for a ride. It was dark outside, but I was carrying automobile-grade illumination, with two high-lumen NiteRider headlights; one on my helmet, and one on the bars. I also had a Garmin Varia 2 taillight/rear radar in flashing mode (the thing WILL cause pain in your eyeballs if you look directly into it, even from a distance) and a smaller Road ID (they don't offer 'em any more) tail light clipped to the back of my helmet. I was blazing in the forward direction, and a vision in red flashes to the rear and to each side of me.

I was in a bike lane on a residential street. There were no stop signs, lights, or yield signs. I had the right of way. I saw a pickup truck at a stop sign, presumably waiting to turn right into my lane after I passed. Nope. As I was passing through the intersection, the driver of the truck pulled into the intersection. I found myself wondering why I was hearing the roar of an engine... I looked down and to the right in time to see the front bumper about eight inches from my rear wheel.

It wasn't an aggressive gesture. I'm certain the driver "didn't see me" because he was stationary at the stop sign in order to look at his phone. And hey, it's 5:10 in the morning, so why not just pull out without looking where you're going?

The driver saw me when his needless automotive fashion accessory/penis enhancer was inches from my bike. I shouted obscenities at the driver (e.g. "Fuck You!"), felt a little guilty about it, and that feeling passed immediately, so I increased the volume of my voice and continued with more obscenities. He chose to drive slowly behind me and to the left, in the oncoming lane (because hey, it's 5:10 AM, who but the pickup drive would be out so early?). I started yelling "Do you see me now?!" as he slowly passed me, my helmet light illuminating the passenger compartment of the vehicle. I didn't get a good look at the driver because of glare on the glass and my own agitated state.

TL:DR: illuminated helmets aren't going to change a damn thing.

Anonymous said...

Jeeze, already. Like Pappy said, "Don't re-invent the wheel. Just roll the motherf***er."

@Chazu: Cripes, brother. Sounds like some of the run-ins I used to have.

mikeweb said...

I second that opinion on the last sentence of the Outside piece. Brilliant.

HDEB said...

The Lummox Matrix pairs well with Volvo Lifepaint.

JLRB said...

NEVER SURRENDER

But I've worn all sorts of weird glowy lit up crap over the years hoping it will keep me safe from inattentive drivers

Be safe

huskerdont said...

Huh, I had a somewhat similar incident to Chazu this week in downtown DC, about 6:45 a.m. I have a helment light, a handlebar light, and a front blinky, (plus two rear blinkies). A pickup truck driver blew through a light at a pretty fast clip and almost sideswiped me. I veered and veered (to late to brake) and just managed to avoid getting flattened, partially because he was turning right. I chased him down at the next light and yelled a coupla obscenities, pointing my helment light into his face, but I was pretty shaken and my heart wasn't really in it so I rode on. Took me a while to stop shaking, actually. That close.

What makes it priceless was the dude was wearing a hi-vis safety vest.

Edwin Headwind said...

Best closing statement EVER.

Anonymous said...

@huskercont 11:34
I drove an 18 wheeler for a few years back in the 90s. 48+Canada. Been in Midwest snowstorms, descending Rocky Mountain passes fully loaded, L.A. freeways-Like the song says, "I've been everywhere". Definitely been through some hairy stuff.

But the only time I was actually scared-change of undies terrified-was driving in your neck-o-the-woods. Dafuq is WRONG with those people?

wle said...

"lummox" helment - har dee har....

i don;t like smarting helmets either

JLRB said...

#stayinthefight

Matt said...

All the high viz stuff only works if the drivers are actually LOOKING. If they're not then none of it matters. THAT is the problem.

Korina said...

Excellent column, Tan Tenovo, and I agree with every word.

When you have a bored moment, try googling "Phoenix bicycle safety". You might want to have a nice clean spot on your desk.

Anonymous said...

Korina,
Bikesnob wrote about that already.
http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2016/04/propaganda-gandering.html

Al said...

I assume every motorist is either distracted or drunk driving. I'm invisible no matter how many blinky lights I use or hi-vis clothes I wear. "Every car is a potential weapon every motorist a short fuse."

Skidmark said...

Twice recently I was almost lulled into thinking a car-driver was trying to be courteous because they seemed to be waiting (longer than usual) for me to “go ahead”. Could not see through window tint/glare- but when they abruptly accelerated from being stopped at a side-street, it was clear they had been on the digital device.

huskerdont said...

And yet the NTSB wants helments to be mandatory.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/transportation/2019/11/06/ntsb-says-mandatory-bike-helmet-laws-would-save-lives-bike-advocates-disagree/

mikeweb said...

"Beware the helment industrial complex"

-Tan Tenovo farewell address

Apingaut said...

I'm reading some headlines, NYT: "Experts back mandatory bike helmets... "

Fk you "experts"... How about you back stopping drivers from killing people?

Rain said...

Enable cell phone jammers for cars.

Rain said...

Get off the phone.build cars with cell phone jammers.