The short version is the winning essay involved a thrilling tale of international intrigue, and ultimately the Jones will be embarking upon a thousand-mile journey from the Black sea across the Caucasus and Zagros Mountains. Or something. I'll share more later.
Anyway, there were a number of deserving entries, but none matched the nuanced backstory and sheer ambition of the one I ultimately deemed the winner.
Of course my own Jonesian outings are quite pedestrian by comparison; indeed, they're not particularly adventurous by any standard. Nevertheless, I sit before you feeling tired yet satisfied after my latest Friday ramble astride the Jones LWB:
Before I go any further, I should mention there's some douchebag out there who's always leaving comments on how I'm a shill and a sell-out because of my professed love for the Jones as well as my enthusiasm for other bicycle-related products. My response to that is, "Bite me." I'm [redacted] years old, I've got nothing to prove anymore, and I love riding too much not to be honest when I'm enjoying something--and the Jones (in both SWB and LWB versions) has brought me a tremendous amount of cycling enjoyment. Certainly it was the Marin Pine Mountain that set me on the path, but the plus-sized tires, dedicated rigid geometry, and upright position of the Jones have been nothing less than a revelation for me. I'll probably always want to get on a road bike and hunch my aging body over a set of drop bars at least some of the time (some of us just have Fredliness in our DNA), but the rest of the time the Jones is the bike that lets me just ride. A little pavement, a little dirt, a little singletrack... For me, drinking the Jones ayahuasca has been the culmination of a long process that began with my moving from Brooklyn to the Bronx back in 2012 and thus acquiring ready access to terrain that previously required me to slog through the city for two hours or else (gasp!) drive in order to ride. But from here, I've got mixed-terrain riding right out my back door, and can do the sorts of rides that most people don't associate with living in New York City.
Anyway, the point is I'm in a very good place with my riding life, and the Jones is no small part of that.
Moreover, my current place of residence is situated on what is slowly shaping up to be the premier cycling route in the New York City area. Not only are they paving the mud bog that is the Putnam Trail through Van Cortlandt Park, but up in Yonkers they're now installing bicycle repair stands along the South County Trailway, which blew my mind:
From here, soon you'll be able to ride over the Tappan Zee (sorry, "Mario M. Cuomo") Bridge to all the Fredly routes on the opposite side of the river, which means by next year or so you'll be able to do a great big trans-Hudson loop, either paved or unpaved depending on your mood, and I'll live right on said loop.
As for my ride today, it included a foray into the forbidding Trails Behind The Mall, which owing to car-induced sprawl I often access by means of a sidewalk--where, oddly, I came across another new bike repair stand:
This is hardly a bicycle thoroughfare, and thus is a highly unlikely spot for a bike repair stand. Given this, I have two theories:
1) The City of Yonkers is involved in some sort of kickback scheme whereby they bought a shitload of bike repair stands and they're just installing them wherever;
B) The City of Yonkers is genuinely attempting to be bike-friendly, so they bought data from Strava to see where people are riding--and because I visit the Trails Behind The Mall so frequently, they've mistakenly identified this as a heavily-trafficked bicycle thoroughfare, so essentially this bike stand is just for me.
If the second scenario is indeed the case, I'd like to thank the City of Yonkers, because this pump is ideally situated so that I can drop my tire pressure before hitting the Trails Behind The Mall, and then top them back up again for the ride home.
In any event, from the Trails Behind The Mall I took in a couple of other lesser-known spots. I could easily have kept going all day, but familial responsibilities compelled me to come about and steer the good ship Jones homeward:
All in all, it was a successful outing, and I can highly recommend moving to the Bronx and purchasing a Jones.
29 comments:
Will you be publishing the winner story?
What? No comments?
As an owner of two male menopause machines, (one doubles as a forever bike) I applaud your conversion to a more upright and relaxed bike vision. But the racing stories are good fodder too.
Is a Surly ECR with 29+x3.0 tires close enough to a Jones or should I still get one of those? (Podium on Friday? Dreams do come true!)
Anonymous 3:49pm,
I don't know! Looks like a fun bike though...
--Tan Tenovo
Bikesnob in 10 years: I highly recommend moving to Westchester and buying an electric recumbent.
Some drivers knock over cyclists as casually as they knock over traffic cones near newly installed bicycle repair stands.
The Brewster end of the trail has had one of those repair stands for a few years.
Very, very cool that the SWB is going to someone who can use it for an exotic big-ass tour. Glad I spared you a boring essay. I have to make my own choice of male menopause machine: Jones or Gus Boots Willsen? Heart vs head, heart vs wallet, etc.
Hard to believe it, but I did not miss even one question on this week's Friday Fun Quiz!
So you just casually drop and raise your tire pressure as needed without a detailed computerized analysis of the ride length, terrain, temperature, humidity, wind condition, current riders weight and so forth. That’s just crazy. Whatpressureyourunning
what is up with titanium-carbon-aluminium testing?
Tour de Yonkers is tomorrow, Sept 29th!
I was wondering if anyone would be interested is bypassing the 'Jackson Ave-to-REI section' in favor if a little trip through Sprain Ridge Park. I was planning on climbing on the pavement up to the "Otter Run" trail, and taking that to the stone bridge in the center of the park. Any recommendations for getting from the Stone bridge to REI? I'll be on an old MTB with slicks, so I'm not looking to slay Sandro's Trail or do anything crazy, just hit some nice singletrack instead of pavement. Since I'm a simpleton, simple directions are especially welcome.
Any Snobbers and Snobbettes that would like to join me are welcome. I'll be on an old purple Stumpjumper with very tasteful purple ano parts. Just say hello!
NYCHighwheeler
PS Critical Mass was last night, and there is a lot to tell. I'll save it for another post.
Pump/repair stands are popping up and so are the vandals cutting off the pumpheads...
the Black sea, huh?
Re: The Ride...
Top notch! Haz you evr rided it in reverse/back-words? Such a wicked urbane mountain-bikening escapade!!
@anonymous 11:32.
Probably the fact that steel has been the industry standard for over a century, and nearly every rider has had experience with its lovely ride, which aloomeeum will never touch.
Ti would be great, but it costs the world, and good luck getting it repaired.
Carpet fibre is suspect due to a history of sudden catastrophic failures, and the fact that exposure to the very sunlight in which we ride has a corrosive effect on its structural integrity.
At least that's what my kitteh Mister Grouchypants* had to say about it when I asked him.
kthxbai
*Two pair just in case.
Anonymous 1:40pm,
Seems to me there are plenty of reasonably priced titanium bikes out there, certainly no more expensive than crabon.
Not sure people need to be overly concerned with repairability when it comes to choosing a frame material. (And I think crabon's pretty repairable, by the way.)
--Tan Tenovo
Meh. Ride what you like. Doesn't matter what, as long as you're riding. Just relaying what Mister Grouchypants* had to say about it. I admit he's a bit of a curmudgeon, but he's been my closest friend for 15 years.
Can't say much personally about bikes other than steel, and I've ridden everything from lovely Columbus, Reynolds and the like, down to department store gaspipe. Never felt the experience was diminished by the frame material, and I've got so many bikes now that I literally have no more room. Hey, if you're on a bike and you're having fun, you're doing it right in my book. Doesn't matter if it's made out of papier mache and pixie dust.
As to repairability, the only issue I have in that regard is with my frickin' back. Three months post-injury and still no riding. Making me crabby as all holy hell. But we can cover that on another day.
Cheers.
Those public bike repair stations would assist opioid addicts in their day job of stealing and quickly chopping up bikes. Is their a file on that stand? The first thing to get modified is the serial number. That's why the police can't do anything to stop the very obvious street chop shops.
@pistoff
LOL 'male menopause machine' love it!
I really want to see a Jones built up with normal MTB bars with a lot of reach and drop like a throwback xc bike.
To the caller on the radio show today: "Teach me then." Gold Snobby; Gold. You handled him very well. I don't think he got it; they don't want to. But your listeners...yes. Thanks for handling him in the way that maximizes what your AUDIENCE gets out of the back and forth.
I've said this in a previous comment- a great road ride is to go up to Bear Mountain and do the loop between the Bear Mountain Bridge and Newburgh Beacon Bridge.
I think you can take a train from NYC to Bear Mountain, as I believe people use the train and a stop nearby to access the Appalachian trail at the Hudson River crossing at Bear Mountain; but I could be wrong.
I moved from NY to the country's Northeastern - nose poking Canada, and I enjoy riding in my new home State. But I still always bring my Fred Sled down when I return to NY for a visit. the Hudson River Valley has some truly great road rides, and actually the car drivers are better to cyclists in NY...Although the only place I was ever "coal rolled" was in the Delaware Water Gap. But that's PA, isn't it.
The response to your critics is "BITE ME!"? I guess while the former BikeSnob may now be merely a Bike(Industry)Shill, ya can't take the Noo Yawker out of him!!! :-)
Soon enough you'll be complaining to the Yonkers community board about the inaccurate calibration of the pressure gauges on the bike stand pumps.
Dear Mr. Anon @ 12:36 pm -
My dog invites you to bite him.
You have to admit, man bites dog would be a story.
Jones SWB. Jones LWB. Jones Titanium? Old Piney, we hardly knew ye.
Where is this pump? My best guess based on the photo is its on Tuckahoe across from the McDonalds.
There definitely is a way to buy a bad bike - by ordering something custom. I bet its almost everyone's dream here to get a custom Richard Sucks or some bespoke gravel packing forever bike that you saw on John Prolly's instagram. DON'T DO IT.
Custom bikes are a recipe for disappointment.
1 you are buying a very high-end item sight-unseen
2 you will wait six months to a year for the builder to *start* your project.
3 you will pay 2-3 times more than a mass-produced bike
4 you will miss out on all the rides you could have gone on in that time if you had just bought the damn Trek I showed you, that meets all the same specs as what you ordered.
5 it will be precious and you will be afraid to get it scratched or dirty. You will miss out on even more rides because its too wet, or too technical.
6 bikes are meant to be ridden and will get worn and damage. You want the backing of a local shop, thats further backed by a deep pocketed company that can get you a replacement frame, or component quickly.
I pretty much only ride Trek bikes now because they have been very quick to fix anything with a manufacturer defect, and have replaced parts at cost when the damage was possibly my fault. Example, I broke a freehub on a MTB within 3 days of purchase. Was it defective? I don't know, I was hot off winter weightlifting and was doing hill sprints. But I got a complete new rear wheel with another couple days, and in that waiting time I did NOT have to send the wheel back. Example 2, I destroyed the rear wheel of my cyclocross bike within 2 weeks of purchase, because I was being a dickhead and riding rocky MTB trails with 20 psi in my tires. They didn't have to do anything, but got me a replacement rear wheel at their cost which was only $100 - I got to keep the old wheel for the spare DT hub and spokes.
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