Friday, May 31, 2019

New Outside Column, Plus Exciting Announcement!

Firstly, I've got a new column on the Outside web presence, and it's all about how those ultra-loud bicycle horns totally blow:


The other day I managed to get the phrase "rats fucking" onto the virtual pages of that esteemed publication, and this time I worked in the concept of cars that anally electrocute their drivers.  Between that and getting my bike into a museum I couldn't possibly ascend any higher...

...or could I?  Because on Monday--that's this coming Monday, June 3rd, at 10:00am in whatever time zone New York City is in, my RADIO SHOW makes it's debut!

(They really should be wearing their listening helmets.)

Yep, that's right, I'm going to have my very own radio show on WBAI here in New York City, and I assume that even if you're not in New York you'll be able to listen thanks to the miracle of the Internet.  (Also, I think afterwards you'll be able to download it.)  As for how I wound up with a radio show, I'd like to say it's the result of lots of planning on my part.  However, the truth is that WBAI contacted me yesterday and asked me if I wanted to do a radio show, I told them I would, and they said "Great, you start on Monday."  And here we are.

So this blog, a bunch of books, the Outside column, the Bike Forecast, and now the terrestrial airwaves.

All that's left is a Bike Snob handwritten newsletter.  Just send a SASE and wait 6-8 weeks.

61 comments:

Anonymous said...

King of all media award goes to...

Showing my age said...

Head down sprint to …...Podium?

I hope your radio show this on the interweb. Is your station Am or FM, by the way? Are you going to be doing a Cousin Brucie, Wolfman, or Howard Stern?

Rock on man.

WRVR was the coolest station in NY in the 70's.

Unknown said...

Radio show! Congratulations. Next stop the EGOT! Nice work RTMS.

mikeweb said...

Congrats on the radio show!

Please don't go all Don Imus on us and start wearing a cowboy hat and acting like an ass though.

High Lewis Dewey said...

So Mr. Tan, are you aware of the history of other New Yorkers who were handed a radio show, and did the unexpected? i.e. Soupy Sales, Grand Master Flash, Fiorello La Guardia?
Also WBUR in Boston out a guy with no radio experience in the air in the 70's, to talk about a big-time type of vehicle. He bombed so the next week he asked his little brother to join him, and the built the most popular show in radio.
Just saying.

BikeSnobNYC said...

mikeweb,

Guaranteed I won't start wearing a coboy hat.

As for acting like an ass...

--Tan Tenovo

BikeSnobNYC said...

*cowboy

pbateman has a radio to drown out your mom's moaning said...

Congrats SNOB. T-A.M. Tenovo.

You do have the perfect face for radio.

Will there be decoder rings or a secret word of the day?

Will you be covering hard hitting news or doing the weather since that's already in your wheelie house?

Looking forward to waking up to the soothing tones of your smooooothe voice on monday

Hugh Lewis Dewey said...

Lets try this again, but this time paying attention to the auto "correct"

So Mr. Tan, are you aware of the history of other New Yorkers who were handed a radio show, and did the unexpected? i.e. Soupy Sales, Grand Master Flash, Fiorello La Guardia?
Also WBUR in Boston put a guy with no radio experience on the air in the 70's, to talk about a non-bike type of vehicle. He bombed so the next week he asked his little brother to join him, and the built the most popular show on radio.
Just saying.

Beck the biker said...

I'm not one to usually drop links, but this is a remarkable bike blog post - from the FHWA- that is chockablock with New York City bike references. It might be a little dated, but the tales of lawless, raving bike mobs terrorizing the city's streets are timeless. In case you need to fill some airtime. https://www.fhwa.dot.gov/highwayhistory/stone_cp.cfm

Billy said...

What address should I mail the SASE to?

Cognorant said...

Uhhhh...."all that's left"?? Did I miss the feature film, the Netflix original series and the HBO reality show???

Cognorant said...

Hmmmm...."all that's left"??? Did I miss the feature film, the Netflix original series, the HBO Reality show???

Stephen Barner said...

I have a radio just like the one in the photo. If you pull out on the front speaker grill, there's a turntable that appears. It has NYC radio stations, like WOR, printed right on the dial. If you listen to any of the surviving old time radio shows, you quickly realize that listeners must have been starved for entertainment. Your show should fit right in.

Grump said...

Instead of a horn, every car should be mandated to have one of those bells mounted on their steering wheel. They would need to ring it to warn other drivers of their approach.
Besides that, they should wear a foam hat to protect them from being killed.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Fucking PBateman beat me to it, but you have a face for radio and a voice for print...

wishiwasmerckx said...

1) If you are going to appropriate something from the car to the bike, I recommend steel bumpers.

2) Don't knock anal electrocution if you've never tried it. Hey, don't judge me!

3) Based on my recent sojourn in NYC, it appears that the period between the light changing green and the first of many horn blasts is measured in nanoseconds, The city should rip out the traffic lights and replace them with drag strip "christmas tree" lights instead.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to request you play "Orphan's Lament" by Huun Huur Tu on your wireless radio show and dedicated it to my Peugeot Izoard's broken derailleur hanger.

The pain I feel is immense, but having my request filled would really help on my journey of healing.

Or maybe you could just recommend a frame builder who could fix it?

Anonymous said...

I like anally electrocute, but not as much as rats fucking. Scranus.

On that note, perhaps more of a Dr. Johnny Fever type persona, where you say "booger" a lot.

Thanks for connecting horn honking to babies crying, i.e. seeing a problem and yelling at someone else to fix it. However, for that reason, bells are as bad as horns. Basically it had better be "Excuse me" followed by a full sentence, or else I'm doing the exact opposite of whatever you want.

Anonymous said...

On the other hand, there is a certain eternal comedic value to squeeze-bulb horns that go BONH-ee BONH-ee.

I'm On The List . . . said...

Next column, will you explore the stupidity of "Loud Pipes Save Lives"?

Scott B said...

Yes to horns being anti-social and pointless for safety. I regularly have to turn left onto a street that has two lanes of somewhat sparse but quick traffic each direction. On the bike, I'm turning onto the shoulder on the opposite side, so I don't have to match speed with traffic, I just have to get across. Even with anemic acceleration, I can make it across safely in front of cars in the far lanes when they are visible but distant. But they sometimes honk. They don't brake—they don't have to—they just honk. If they actually thought there was a safety problem, they would brake. They don't even have a convenience problem, because—again—no need to brake. So what's with the horns? It's just a self-righteous and general disapproval. You are right that cyclists should not mimic this.

billinrockhill said...

A good thing about a bell is there's no tone of voice involved. I expect that every time I use a bike bell to alert a walking person or a running parson or a talking-on-the phone person that I intend to pass them they will be irritated with me. At least I will sound the same whether I am irritated with them or not.

theEel said...

fuck ya radio.

weed.

Anonymous said...

Play Misty for us!

Anonymous said...

Fortunately here in Hawaii using a horn is pretty much socially unacceptable. On rare occasions I may get the "on your left" honk (which engenders about the same response as calling it out to peds -- startle).

As for TT's new gig, maybe get on one of those 50kW AM stations where at night you can listen as it fades in and out as you go cross-country.

pbateman only uses horn-ni-ness to alert your mom said...

as annoying as a loud hub is i do find that the clickity clickity clickity sound of campy makes for the best sort of alert system because it audibly announces my arrival to pedestrians going the same way but doens't have the same "on your left" dickish-ness that a bell or a horn would have.

that said, it would be kinda fun to at least for a day go riding in a crowded place with some coocka-ra-cha or dukes of hazzard style air horn.

billinrockhill said...

A good thing about a bell is there's no tone of voice involved. I expect that every time I use a bike bell to alert a walking person or a running parson or a talking-on-the phone person that I intend to pass them they will be irritated with me. At least I will sound the same whether I am irritated with them or not.

Peter said...

I've had pedestrians yell at me when I've rung my bell to announce that I'm passing on a multi-use path. I have no idea what they were shouting, but I'm guessing that they interpreted my friendly ding-ding as "Get the f*** out of my way!".
(And when I didn't ring my bell, I've had walkers/joggers suddenly do a U-turn when I'm passing and I've narrowly avoided a collision.)

In Japan, bike bells are truly awesome and so are pedestrians' reactions.
https://youtu.be/k7oGk-ozhKI?t=20
(and, yes, you're allowed to ride your bike on a sidewalk, although most bike riders don't attempt this where it's crowded or narrow.)

Peter said...

(In California) I've had pedestrians yell at me when I've rung my bell to announce that I'm passing on a multi-use path. I have no idea what they were shouting, but I'm guessing that they interpreted my friendly ding-ding as "Get the f*** out of my way!".
(And when I didn't ring my bell, I've had walkers/joggers suddenly do a U-turn when I'm passing and I've narrowly avoided a collision.)

In Japan, bike bells are truly awesome and so are pedestrians' reactions.
https://youtu.be/k7oGk-ozhKI?t=20
(and, yes, you're allowed to ride your bike on a sidewalk, although most bike riders don't attempt this where it's crowded or narrow.)

BobbyG said...

BS, you are as wrong about horns as you are about helmets...but I still enjoy your columns, blogs, podcast appearances, and look forward to your radio show.

I've been using AirZound airhorns since 1994. The secret to their success is to not ride in the audio cesspool that is Manhattan (or London).

https://www.youtube.com/user/bgvideo62/playlists

Hugh Lewis Dewey said...

And....there is a long history (dating back to the 70s at least) of prank callers to New York radio shows. Not to discourage anyone in their new endeavour, but you might want to have a few come-back ready if any pranksters get by the call screener.

dop said...

BAI has needed fresh blood ever since Steve Post left.

Bill Crowder said...

You'll probably get some of your 17 children to hand print the replies anyway, so I don't need a hand-curated letter.

Chazu said...

Congratulations! Looking forward to your radio show.

JLRB said...

every time I ring my bikecycle bell a blogger gets a radio show

scarnus salute

JLRB said...

and the only horn you that should be used on a bicycle is a baritone saxophone

huskerdont said...

Congrats on the radio show. And it does an old dude's heart good to see the owner of a blog unable to correct his own comments and having to go back and elucidate in another post, just like us proles.

True professionals would have an edit function, but who needs real professionalism when you can make it on just about every media pathway currently available at this particular point in time now.

pbateman said...

so...thinking someone should dial in, call podium, yell scranus and then hang up.

Anonymous said...

Great radio show. I sure hope that they have you back on the air. You handled that first caller PERFECTLY. Just the right amount of respect for him, but calmly explained why his point was really re-iteration of the real problem: streets built only for motor vehicle. Lots of really good stuff here Tan Tenovo. I know you like to doubt yourself, but your program beat out every other bike podcast/radio show I've heard.

Would like to hear about the Enlightened Cyclist POV of bicycles on a show sometime.

Dooth said...

All we need is Radio Snobby.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

thanks for being on my show this morning , Snob!

Pist Off said...

Yes, we all need an articulate voice for bikes. I have no doubt TT/WCRM is the one. Yesterday I had to do work on the Automobile I Must Have To Do My Job and one of the guys at the auto parts place was calmly and logically explaining to his Trumpist anti-government colleagues about our local community-wide initiative to make broadband Internet a utility. He stayed calm in the face of idiocy and nailed the facts down. I coulda hugged him, it was so refreshing. So, my point is, hugs and scranus.

pbate from upstate new york said...



Snob,

really great show today. honestly, you were charming enough, funny enough and handled the various callers quite well. didn't seem like your first rodeo in radio.

and your voice is perfectly NPR. just the right amount of nasally pitch blended with hints of softness and kindness.

soooo perfect that you had quite a few AVID cyclist calling in to bitch and moan...about bicycles...because of course thats what a devout cyclist would do. (palm-face)


also, your answer to the question about the Queen song was 100% accurate. Its awful.

Guy from the 99.999999% of the Planet That Is Not NYC said...

Mr. Tenovo;

Listening to download of BSNYC Radio during lunch, and so far so good. (Except for the punk rock.) You are clearly a natural at this, wishing you a long run, congrats.

Ibid said...

Also, I see a comment posted 10:35 AM. Did you moderate you blog comments during the break in the radio show?

huskerdont said...

Realized I had forgotten to read the damn Outside column. So yeah, use of the horn as a weapon is a pet peeve of mine. The girl drives more than I do and she does it, and to me it seems to just be venting frustration. What I had never really thought of though is the extreme view that there were absolutely no horn uses that weren't just for that. I'll admit there are few, but I'm not certain there are none. I mean, perhaps you are stranded in your car, unable to get out, and are far enough away from the rest of humanity that they can't hear you shout or see you wave, but you're not so far away that they can't hear the horn. A perfect use right there.

Makes about as much sense as the "guns save XXXX lives a year" bumper stickers.

Seriously, someone backing up toward you or otherwise unaware of your presence when you are unable to move out of the way is about it.

"putting a distortion pedal on a Stradivarius"

I'd actually pay to hear this.

"gluing great big hairy Popeye arms onto the Venus de Milo'

And to see this, although I suppose Photoshop would be better than gluing stuff to a marble antiquity.

N/A said...

Congrats on the radio gig, Tan. I'll have to give it a listen when I get home from work.

We all , your fans and so forth, shall require a hotline number so that we may screech, "Scranus" into the phone towards your general direction in the easiest manner possible. Thanks in advance. It will be this generation's "Baba Booey".

Tube Bar Tapes said...

After hear the "I'm-Retired-You-Know" gentlemen discuss his five basket bike, ("one behind my left leg...") I decided your Radio Show did not need any prank calls.

Citizen Kafka said...

Midnight Blue beckons!

Anonymous said...

This is because by the time you’re honking at something you’ve already seen it, and you’ve got plenty of time to react accordingly.

When passing other cyclists...

Ring your bell once. That's fine
Ring your bell twice. That's fine too.
Ring your bell more than that and you are just an aggressive driver on a bicycle.

BamaPhred said...

Radio show “avid cyclist”. Lol

Emily Latella said...

What's all this talk about rabid cyclists? Rabies is a serious, deadly disease that we should not be joking about. If there are rabid I say we should find them and get them medical help right away, for there good and for ours.

BobbyG said...

Did one of the callers say "first time caller"?

I am glad I got out of radio before cell phones and VOIP calls. Greece? Sounded like he was calling from Mars.

Not bad for a first show. I predict greatness very shortly.

If the request line is open, I'd like to hear some "rolling interviews" ala Jack Thurston.

Thanks, Snob! I can't wait for the next show!



BobbyG said...

Did one of the callers say "first time caller"?

I am glad I got out of radio before cell phones and VOIP calls. Greece? Sounded like he was calling from Mars.

Not bad for a first show. I predict greatness very shortly.

If the request line is open, I'd like to hear some "rolling interviews" ala Jack Thurston.

Thanks, Snob! I can't wait for the next show!

JLRB said...

For whom the bell brrrrings; it brrrrrings for thee

bad boy of the south said...

Congrats on the radio gig.
Have you decided on a sign-off yet ala Walter Cronkite?

HONK HONK said...

PLEASE do an episode with Jack Thurston!

RATT FUKR said...

You wrote: the message that “bicyclists have all the same rights and responsibilities as motorists” is pervasive in American culture.

It is? Please tell drivers.
They seems to think we should merely get out of the way and/or don't belong on public roadways and that we NEVER obey the laws for bicycles.


Honky Motherfucker said...

I thought my AirZound worked great, esp right-side intersections.

Then I became an expressive user.

No dice. Even though it is nice to reply to honkers n a language they understand.

And I anticipated honking outside people's homes to notify them of my arrival, (just like most auto drivers)n instead of getting off my bike and ringing the bell or knocking on the door.

I FUCKING HATE THOSE LAZY-ASS PEOPLE!

My loud whistling capability works as well (sounds like a cop) and yelling seems to work well enough.


Blogger Sucks said...

I have an AirZound. I honk at cars when they are obstructing the bike lane. I like to think this upsets them, as I am upset at being placed in danger. I find this a lot easier than yelling or singing. With the press of a trigger I have voiced my frustrations over a bad scene, then I roll my way along. Less stress for me.

Those guys who honk at pedestrians should be forced to drive.