Good morning! I am deep in the throes of a family vacation but my latest column just popped up on the Outside site so here you go:
After re-reading that maybe I should just stay where I am and not come back.
Hey, I've been updating the Bike Forecast every day and nobody seems to have noticed I'm not in New York City. If I were to leave permanently, I wonder how long I could pretend to live there before getting found out. As long as I refrained from using Strava, I'm guessing I could get away with the ruse for at least a few years--assuming I could keep the happiness from creeping into my prose, of course. And hey, my life is already a series of ruses and lies, so what's one more?
I may have to seriously consider this....
31 comments:
haven't been first in a while...
NYPD makes me feel less safe while riding a bicycle or walking. The presence of traffic control officers at an intersection often means motor vehicles are instructed to go through red lights. NYPD does not serve or protect me : (
"I wonder how long I could pretend to live there before getting found out."
He says, on the internet. I'm guessing a while.
Looking forward to when you finally move to florida and can update the forecast here.
Today's weather: hot, methy, some chance of snake bite or being knocked off your bike by a nile crocodile since we apparently have those here now too.
Also, your mom's coke habit is really starting to add up.
DeBlabbermouth just follows the orders of his superiors: wealthy campaign donors.
No indication of where you are, so I suppose you are ashamed of vacationing with the 1% in Martinique? the Seychelles? Bermuda?
I hope you child's collar bone is healing.
Your Outside editor accidentally "fixed" the spelling of "helment".
*mom joke*
I had not seen that Casey Neistat video before - he certainly gets his point across! Is he a stuntman?
FUGHIT IMGOINGSKIING
The great thing about that Neistat video is that he did it all without a helmet...and he somehow survived. Duh duh duh.
BTW, you can still use Strava; just mark all your rides private. If you can. The social media aspect of Strava is likely too addictive for most to do that.
I have done a 60 survey of police behaviour, especially that pertaining to interaction with public they see as easy targets. The final and only conclusion is that dog poop for brains is a primary requirement for employment in most police forces.
Do not hold your breath, things are unlikely to change before the next extinction level asteroid strike...
Car 54 where are you? Apparently all over the bike lanes.
I guess one question would be why someone so involved in cycling would live in such a gawd-foresaken-place when it comes to actually riding a bike in the first place? Is there a worse place on earth? Perhaps Sydney Australia? But the weather's better there so perhaps NYC is the worst?
Anonymous, I rode in NYC and found it no worse than DC. So it's got that going on.
Seriously though, I'd say I felt safer there than on one of those thin unprotected bike lanes they have next to 55-mph highways in Florida.
You can use Strava as long as the only routes you take are virtual, via Zwift. Occasionally, you can ride the Central Park course within Zwift, and then comment about how "good it is to ride on home turf" or something like that.
That's basically what lots of flyover rubes are doing now anyway, so why not join in?
During my years riding in NYC, I have been charged with six violations and crimes, including a misdemeanor. I have been followed by police helicopters on several occasions while riding. I have been jailed, spent the night in a filthy chainlink cage topped with razor wire, and have had my bicycle impounded. I have been involved in legal disputes that lasted over a decade. I have seen numerous violent arrests of riders.
The amazing part (other then the AMAZING amount of resources the police waste on bicycle crackdowns) is that I have never been found guilty of a single charge. Every single charge is almost immediately dropped by the judges.
Despite all this, NYC is actually a fantastic place to ride. Mostly for the vast legions of really cool and talented riders, but also some decent bicycle infrastructure. Almost all the shitty police stuff is in mid and southern Manhattan, and the rest of the city is pretty cool to bikes, at least relative to other areas. I can take a bike down to NYC on the Metro North train, ride out to the beach using mostly paved paths, and take a ferry back to Manhattan. It might not be Madison Wisconsin, but it does have The Snob, and that makes up for a lot!
By “fairest city” deBlazio means whitest, right? Or am I confusing our dystopian leaders and their Orwellian statements, it’s hard to tell anymore.
Not riding today. Have to go work on the ol' golf game a bit as I haven't touched clubs in quite sometime. Not sure what pressure I'll run on the cart wheels but thinking I may air them down a couple PSI to handle all the sand I'll surely be hitting into.
I hear your dad got caught up in this big massage parlor sting operation down here around Jupiter and Vero Beach.
Fortunately, I know your mother wasn't part of it as she's caddying for me today.
These are just more reasons that cops are universally hated.
NYCHighwweeler,
Yeah? Well I've been struck and killed multiple times on my bicycle.
Despite all this, Seattle is actually a cycling utopia.
Today’s WASHINGTON post express claims the city is clarifying its rules about no vehicles in bike lanes so cops can understand and enforce the rules ...
Son, stick to the mom jokes.
NYC - cycling wise when you compare it to DC or (gawd) Florida it's the equivalent of saying the electric chair is better than the firing squad. I simply don't understand why people live in huge, congested cities and then complain they're not good places to ride bicycles.
WTF do you expect?
Anon @ 6:32:
A huge, congested city is the place where a bicycle has the clearest advantage as transportation, both for the user and the city. Making them better places to ride bicycles has significant benefits. There's a fine line between "complaining" and "advocating"; the first is more enjoyable to read.
Anon @6:32 - have you bikes in DC? It’s actually pretty good - over the past decade DC (like NYC) has added a lot of Bike infrastructure and the Bike shares increase the numbers of bikes so cages are more used to dealing with them. Are there roads where you shouldn’t/wouldn’t want to ride? Yes, of course, but it’s not a firing squad.
Quick story, how to purchase a sweet bicycle.
There was a handbuilt Roberts hanging from the ceiling of Firehouse Bicycles, and it had been there for a long time. I stood under it many times; admiring from below. Cutouts on the thinned lugs, chrome under the paint, Reynolds competition tubing. My size. I asked them to take it off the hooks.
I only went a little bit fast, and not far. I said I loved it, but I would have to think about the money. I walked away and returned two hours later. I knew my price, but I was nervous to hear theirs. They knocked it way down to $600, and I breathed a sigh of relief. $600 was nothing for this bicycle. $600 was free.
thats it. hope you like my story.
Chris Harne
Kennett Square, Pa.
Video shows impatient New York driver mounting sidewalk, frightening schoolkids
there is a roberts in my neck of the woods for $375 and no one has grabbed it in over a month.
Anon@ 10:29 pm. What size?
Some guy from upstate: "Clearest advantage as transportation" I get that, but Snobby writes a lot about FUN rather than just slogging through congested streets using a bike as transportation. The challenge of finding a fun place to ride seems semi-impossible in a place like NYC, DC or (gawd) Florida so I don't think it's odd to wonder why someone so involved in the activity/lifestyle (rather than a simple schmuck who just uses a bike to get around) would choose to live in a cycling hell like NYC.
https://vancouver.craigslist.org/van/bik/d/north-vancouver-vintage-roberts-road/6798941839.html
the roberts ad just says "large"
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