Friday, January 11, 2019

Stick Around Long Enough And The Trends Will Come Back Around And Thwack You In The Back Of The Head

In my most recent Outside column I pointed out that you can make your road bike safer by raising your bars and reducing your reach, and in response a commenter had this to say:

Anonymous said...

"You don’t have to drop the drops, but you should bring them higher up and farther back. Not only will this improve your stability, but it will also keep you from pulling a Superman should you manage to go down anyway."
WTF? What bike expert other than you and "self-proclaimed guru" Grant Petersen would make this claim? I hate to break this to you O'Mighty Snob, but putting more of the rider's weight on the rear wheel by moving the handlebars higher up and farther back simply does NOT improve stability.

January 10, 2019 at 10:38 AM

Really?

Get on your road bike, head to the nearest section of rough road (cobblestones if you have them), and tell me where you put your hands and how shift your body weight.

Yeah, I thought so.

By the way (and I shouldn't have to point this out) I'm not saying everyone should ride a Petersen-esque road bike, I'm just saying that there are plenty of people who might be better off on one and don't realize it and/or are in denial.

In other news, you are probably familiar with Speedvagen, but in case you're not here you go:



Look closely: every curve and line of the Speedvagen frame is designed to look and work perfectly together. The headtube, for example, is shaped perfectly to pair with the lines of the Enve Composites fork, smoothly transitioning from frame to headset to fork crown. The tubing of the frame is robust at the front of the frame and is smaller toward the seatmast, to smooth out any roughness from the road that's transmitted up to the saddle and the rider. The seat stays hug the wheel tapering flat and wide for a smooth ride and creating a beautiful silhouette from behind. Frame-to-component interfaces are mated with stainless reinforcement in high-wear areas—their curvatures smoothly blending between the tubes they attach.

If you're the type to wear Rapha you just soiled yours after reading that.

Anyway, when it comes to the zeitgeist, Speedvagen are very much in touch with it.  For example, they've been selling designer pit boots since at least 2010, and look at cyclocross now:


So basically, if Speedvagen gets involved, you know it's going to be a "thing."

Given this, it's pretty safe to say that at this point skating is going to be the new gravel, because now there's a Speedvagen skateboard deck:


Surprise! For some reason there’s a natural progression from skateboarding into bikes. Our shop is no exception to that, with a few of us spending a majority of formative years skating. While most of us now use bikes to chase those moments of feeling truly free, we figured it would be fun to honor that past life and get out there a little bit more on these. 

It's called the "Surprise Me" deck, and I was indeed surprised since it's only $50.  After all, this is the same company that sells a $3,500 coaster brake bike:


So, having recently sprained my foot while playing on a board with wheels, it's simultaneously embarrassing and comforting to know that I'm following the middle-aged bike dork script to the letter.  It's also safe to say you can expect the masters fields in 2019 to be quite thin since everyone's going to be sidelined with skateboarding injuries.

Actually, maybe that's Speedvagen's plan.  And if tricking cyclists into hurting themselves is what they're trying to do then I take full credit for giving them the idea.

Finally, speaking of doing tricks on stuff with wheels, I found myself wondering if fixed-gear freestyling is still a thing and apparently it is:


As far as I can tell the only new trick they've added in the past 10 years is bunnyhopping the homeless:


Otherwise it's still mostly just spinning around on your back wheel:


You're now completely caught up.

And now if you'll excuse me I'm going to convert my skateboard into a fixie by putting some Krazy Glue in the bearings.

26 comments:

Lukebiker said...

Speedvagens are just caad7 frames with tapered headtubes

Lukebiker said...

Speedvagens are just caad7 frames with tapered headtubes and less cool paint jobs

pbate getting some podium tang today said...

some of the speedvagin bikes do look kinda neat. i'll give them that. nice paint jobs that are miles better than your mom's blow jobs.

slapping their logo on hunter boots and i assume doubling the price..not as neat.

so, decided why buy a handlebar when i can just buy another bike. picking up an b'stone MB3 tomorrow that the guy has already pretty much "riv'dale'd" so kinda happy about that.

ride safe you sucka' mutha' fudgers

Unknown said...

Do those Speedvagen pit boots come with cleats so I can clip in?

Dooth said...

Homelessness is no laughing matter...except when there’s bunny hopping.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Podium?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Dear Mr. BSNYC, what would happen if we abandoned comment moderation and went back to the old days where you knew where you stood as soon as you posted your comment?

Has the internet devolved to the point where without comment moderation, this board is filled with spam bots and penis enlargement solicitations?

leroy said...

Okay, my dog apparently started the weekend early.

He's been trying to read the Speedvagen copy out loud doing his Foghorn J. Leghorn imitation, but can't get through it because he keeps giggling.

This may be my chance to try one of those brownies he keeps raving about.

For the life of me, though, I can't understand why he orders brownies online from a dispensary in Colorado when there are plenty of good bakeries in Brooklyn.

("The headtube, I say, the headtube is shaped perfeckly, you understan'. I say perfeckly.")

Sean Lynch said...

finally impressed with what looks like a gimmick. A bike that converts from a regular bike to a cargo bike: https://www.convercycle.com/

I have no idea what pressure they're running.

Recycled Trend said...

THWACK!

Yes, it is that overwrought said...

I don't wear (I can't afford) the Rapha clothing line, so I merely guffawed at the ponderous prose that accompanies the article about the bicycle.

Anonymous said...

You need one of Taj's Fairdales more than another piece of wood to push round! Do eeet.

Anonymous said...

Look, there's no point in arguing "stability" because it's a single, hopelessly vague word to (not successfully) describe an insanely complex and varied set of dynamic force vectors acting on a body that's not even rigid, and is in motion. Anyway there's no stability in bicycles. Sit on one, stop doing things, and you will fall over immediately.

Anonymous said...

PS: "Bunnyhopping the homeless" was the hardest laugh I've had around here in quite some time. Could there be any more stark juxtaposition of glibly clueless self-absorbed youthful douchebaggery against brutal hard socioeconomic realities suffered by grownups?

bad boy of the south said...

What about the old band "REO Speedvagen"?

theEel said...

weed

Drock said...

Liming in San Diego is way cool, can I strava that, o yes I can. City bike segments are the newest rage

Schisthead said...

"Stick Around Long Enough And The Trends Will Come Back Around And Thwack You In The Back Of The Head"

Sweet, I want one of those columbias with the tool box.

Anonymous said...

Pleeease get a Speegvagen board. Just for the lols.

NourskSiklist said...

Nice post, Snob. I like it when you go retro and expose stupid bikecycling deebags and their gadget obsession. So, "Speedvagen. A play of words on both "wagon", as in "go fast", and "vagina", as in "get laid fast"? That sales pitch was indistinguishable from a rubbish softcore novel. Or is it simply Germanic romanticism, harking back to 3rd Reich mass production marvels? Is it made by a subsidiary of IG-farvel? And am I rambling? Absolutely, and my apologies.

Rudolph the Red said...

Freestyle. The sport for those who's moms won't let them leave the yard...

Jacob said...

have you seen fairdale's skateboard rack?
https://shop.fairdalebikes.com/collections/fairdale-components/products/skaterack

Anonymous said...

Landyachtz went from building skateboards to bicycles a long time ago.

HDEB said...

When terrain is a gnarly drop my chest is behind my saddle : )

Anonymous said...

Tan, Hate to be all stick in the muddy & Whatnot, but the roadie who wrote in about front wheel stability was actually correct, BUT a lot of things effect bike stability so it's sort of myopic to be critical of that one aspect of bike handling. Moving your weight back may feel more stable, but it actually isn't. (although it's way easier to bail without killing yourself)
In any case I knew what you meant and I think so probably did he(?)- masmojo

courierpop said...

Excuse me, but I don't need any help hurting myself, I'm quite capable of doing that on my own.