Tuesday, January 29, 2019

New Outside Column!

Hello!

In the spirit of saying you're sorry without really meaning it, here are some form apology letters you can personalize and share with your fellow road users:


Speaking of touching cars, this guy has turned himself in:


Gotta love the local news:


Yeah, I'm sure that's when the incident started, because cyclists in New York City go crazy for no reason all the time, but Uber drivers never, ever almost kill you.

Hey, I'm not saying what he did was okay, but I am saying he probably had a reason.

Maybe the judge will make him write an apology.

28 comments:

huskerdont said...

That letter is for reals? Really written by an "adult" driver who had an accident with a 10-year-old cyclist and left the scene? Kind of makes me ashamed to be of the same species, assuming I am.

fongfong said...

Podium. That's the guy from that scene in La La Land, right?

hurryup said...

Am I in?

O4fuxake said...

I'm sorry.

HDEB said...

Emilio Carpenay is my hero! Jumping on top of the vehicle and howling was the awesome gratuitous cherry on top that got him caught. Automobile exhaust smells bad.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...I have felt that primal feeling... of the urge to jump on a vehicle and howl too.

...Though if I do it, I'll be sure ot pen my faux-pology.

Chazu said...

I've come to the conclusion that many drivers are simply incredulous that we aren't cowering in fear of their automobiles. The incredulity often manifests itself as anger and rage. ("that dumb biker isn't afraid of me?! I'll give 'em something to be afraid of!")

Love the letters.

pbateman may ride today as its pretty nice out in 'merica's wang region said...

i do that same sort of squatty down position while raising my hands over my head to make the cool like rock music hand symbol every time i dismount your mom.

its quite an invigorating way to celebrate.

30 pounds with beer? you need a lighter bike bro. sounds like you may need to pony up for a fancier specialized.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...It's a warzone out there, and every one is trying to get from the safety of one indoor space, to the safety of another. It's just that when you're not encased in a metal'n'glass box, at least you have some awareness of your vulnerability. A motorist has a false sense of security (maybe because of said enclosure?) which gets triggered the minute s/he is made aware of it by another road user [read: motorist hits, or almost hits another road user]... survival instinct kicks in, chemicals are rushed to the brain, and road rage ensues... usually. The real problem here is that the motorist has an actual weapon, one that grants him immunity. Where as the minute you brandish your lock, you're automatically guilty.

...like being in an actual war zone... but the only people allowed to use weapons are the motorists.

...I need me a motorized fat bike. It's the SUV of the bicycling.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully, this will encourage enough copycats to destroy all cars everywhere.

pbate genuinely thinks a CC is not a horrible idea in some areas said...

If you want something lighter with more impact than a lock, a Kimber Micro is aluminum and stainless steel and still comes in at 13.4 ounces.

Held one at the SHOT Show in vegas last week while i was out there trying to become an international arms dealer and felt this was an ideal choice for anyone riding in questionable areas which mostly includes darn near all of Florida.

JLRB said...

Superb letters. I have a middle-aged neighbor who is a one wheeler - Kook Flag is spot on.

The cyclist feux shit squatting on the BMW should be a t-shirt. I'd buy one to support his legal defense.

JLRB said...

ps - this rain better turn to snow before quitting time - I didn't churn in on the plump bike for rain!

Pist Off said...

Who here hasn’t wanted to actually shit on a BMW after being nearly killed by its driver? I’d love to see a replay of that shlocking incident. “Unprovoked” my ass.

Anonymous said...

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

The pricks are on the outside of a porcupine. Tho, in this case there's a prick on top of the BMW too

Tired said...

Glad Diaz in the BMW is moving to PR. This way, "he won't cut off no one no more."

Grump said...

Drugs?

Anonymous said...

As far as I can tell, the first time you well accused of selling out was http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2007/09/official-bsnyc-seal-of-disapproval.html

I personally would have to say it was when you started reviewing bikes by your advertisers. The blog used to be entirely "this is why your bike sucks" and it was awesome. Now it is all bike are freakin' awesome, and have been since 1824! As long as you have an old timey bike it's gonna be awesome! But don't get shockers or too many gears or crabon! Then it will suck! Unless you have a midlife racer crisis! Then it will be awesome! Except for the hill repeats.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:01am,

Pretty much.

When I started I was still young enough to say stuff sucks; at this point I'd just be an old guy saying stuff sucks, which is mostly just pathetic.

--Tan Tenovo

JAT in Seattle said...

Hey Snob,
went on a whim to see Jens Voigt speak at a local Trek shop last night (he's absolutely as charming as one might expect) and there was a fellow there with his "autograph bag" that he clearly takes to all these sort of things (a yellow Chrome messenger bag) sporting a scrawled Bob Roll and two, count 'em BikeSnobNYC autographs one pre and one post exposure. Felt I was in the presence of unwashed vicarious greatness.
JAT in Tukwila

Schisthead said...

"at this point I'd just be an old guy saying stuff sucks, which is mostly just pathetic."

You're on the commenty blog portion of the internet, dude.

Exclude the pathetic and there's nothing left here.

Some guy from upstate said...


One's perception of what sucks evolves over time. When they first started appearing in bike shops in the 1980's, I thought mountain bikes were stupid. Then I got a mountain bike. Then I thought suspension forks were stupid. Then I got a mountain bike with a suspension fork. Then I thought single speed mountain bikes were stupid. Then I converted my old mountain bike to single speed (yay horizontal dropouts!), then got a dedicated single speed frame, then got a suspension fork for the single speed. Then I thought 29ers were stupid. Guess what?

Currently, I think fat bikes are stupid. I'm trying to hold on to that, mostly due to the upgrades in bike transportation and storage that would be required.

I still think bikes with no brakes anywhere outside of a velodrome are stupid, and department store "full-suspension mountain bikes" that never see dirt are stupid. I don't see those changing.

dancesonpedals said...

Definitely too old to say, 'suck'.

Say 'sugatis' and leave an aftertaste of erudition.

A. Dick said...

Your readers are all dicks

Seattle lone wolf said...

JAT, was Jensie at the Tukwila Trek Store??? Damn, I go right by there on the ride home. Had no idea he was in town.

babble on said...

I suck, but apparently it's a talent one ought to be proud of.

Kevin said...

Accurate

Old Parts New Bottles said...

True, so true.

Now a full suspension scandium fat bike with aero bars and behind the saddle bottle cages would be so stupid that it would possibly invert the stupidity matrix.