Back In The Saddle, Kinda

Between my sprained flipper and my sick child I've been a shut-in for much of this week, but this morning I finally got out for a ride and it was glorious:

Sure, my foot was tender, and yes I came up a half-mile short of a mere 20 miles (that was due to time constraints, not physical ones), but given that I began the week with an injury I'm damned lucky to be finishing it with a bicycle ride.

Indeed, there's even a bit of a silver lining in all of this; not only do I get to waggle my cane admonishingly at drivers now, but I also can't quite push the pedals hard enough to get the Renovo to start creaking:


It truly is a Festivus miracle.

Speaking of mishaps, Bicycling magazine was delighted by this Steve Carell appearance on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," but I found it deeply annoying:

First Carell shares that he rides a road bike, which is great and all, to which DeGeneres replies, "You're one of those guys?"

This of course elicits laughter from the audience, which, you know, fine, whatever.  But then Carell explains how he was hit by a driver after he "made a turn and didn't see the car behind me:"

From which we can infer of course that it was totally the motorist's fault, because how does that even happen?

Anyway, he's fine, and he gets a funny story out of it, but then DeGeneres puts him in this humiliating getup, much to everybody's delight:

Look, I know it's just a talk show, and everybody's keeping it light, but the heart wants what it wants, and mine wanted to see someone of Carell's stature stand up, point at the audience, and shout, "You know what?  You fuckers aren't paying attention out there!"  Then he'd turn to the camera and continue, "That goes for the rest of you at home, you lazy, careless slobs.  You're all a bunch of dupes who have been brainwashed by the Automotive Industrial Complex!"  And finally, to DeGeneres: "You think perpetuating this bullshit victim-blaming narrative is funny?  Fuck that!"

Then instead of tearing off that stupid outfit he'd ride off in a recumbent, because it kinda works with that look.

But yeah, figures Bicycling would like it.