Friday, December 14, 2018

Back In The Saddle, Kinda

Between my sprained flipper and my sick child I've been a shut-in for much of this week, but this morning I finally got out for a ride and it was glorious:

Sure, my foot was tender, and yes I came up a half-mile short of a mere 20 miles (that was due to time constraints, not physical ones), but given that I began the week with an injury I'm damned lucky to be finishing it with a bicycle ride.

Indeed, there's even a bit of a silver lining in all of this; not only do I get to waggle my cane admonishingly at drivers now, but I also can't quite push the pedals hard enough to get the Renovo to start creaking:

It truly is a Festivus miracle.

Speaking of mishaps, Bicycling magazine was delighted by this Steve Carell appearance on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," but I found it deeply annoying:

First Carell shares that he rides a road bike, which is great and all, to which DeGeneres replies, "You're one of those guys?"

This of course elicits laughter from the audience, which, you know, fine, whatever.  But then Carell explains how he was hit by a driver after he "made a turn and didn't see the car behind me:"

From which we can infer of course that it was totally the motorist's fault, because how does that even happen?

Anyway, he's fine, and he gets a funny story out of it, but then DeGeneres puts him in this humiliating getup, much to everybody's delight:

Look, I know it's just a talk show, and everybody's keeping it light, but the heart wants what it wants, and mine wanted to see someone of Carell's stature stand up, point at the audience, and shout, "You know what?  You fuckers aren't paying attention out there!"  Then he'd turn to the camera and continue, "That goes for the rest of you at home, you lazy, careless slobs.  You're all a bunch of dupes who have been brainwashed by the Automotive Industrial Complex!"  And finally, to DeGeneres: "You think perpetuating this bullshit victim-blaming narrative is funny?  Fuck that!"

Then instead of tearing off that stupid outfit he'd ride off in a recumbent, because it kinda works with that look.

But yeah, figures Bicycling would like it.


Serial Retrogrouch said...

...make sure you don't go out of alignment overcompensating with your good leg.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...also, another depressing death .

These 'journalists' are still mentioning helments...

And in a piece that is only a few sentences long, this damned conclusion: "They are exploring the possibility the driver did not know the bicyclist was struck."

Be well y'all.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Is the last podium spot still up for grabs?

Bunyip said...


Chazu said...

Someone with a Tweeter account should twat this at Steve Carell, Ellen, and Bicycling. I do not use the tweeterer, or else I would do it.

Schisthead said...

Fortunately, I see about as much of Ellen as a I do of Steve Carell.

Apparently my time non-investments are paying off.

CacBoy said...

I'm surprised that a homosexual like Ellen used the term "One of those."

Next week she'll have on a rape victim and then dress her up in non-sexy baggy clothes.

theEel said...


Anonymous said...

Haha, Ellen is a real goon!

Pbateman will be riding dirty to your moms house cause she a ho said...


Your books, well, they are mine now, but the ones you wrote showed up at my house. Thanks for having your army of children wrap those up and mail them out.

So far I've just opened the box they came in but they are a fun little size, like the brompton of books, except for that one. It's the odd book out which is a problem as I just ordered a campagnolo super record book shelf and that one book must be shimano cause it wont fit.

I am surprised by the amount of nudity. That part was a surprise.

More like dickpicksnob

Hey, have a delightful weekend everyone and ride safe. Or dangerously. Whichever you want.

Drock said...

I like being one of those

Bogusboy said...

You're watching "Ellen"?????
Injury is no excuse. Time for an intervention.

bad boy of the south said...

Ah.the forty year old virgin.carell rode a bike in that one,as well.
Funny movie,but the crash scene,sorry,was kinda stupid.
Tan,glad you got back on one your many horses.

Anonymous said...

just glad you're not so sick as to mix up imply/infer.

AnonSJ said...

Going out for a ride helps with everything.

Unknown said...

I shall ride today,
To wipe the week away.

Wesley Bellairs said...

Here's a 1950's car industry video which contains the first ref to Siri and reading shit whilst driving. Ominous.

Matt said...

CacBoy, you nailed it! The perfect amount of snarkiness and an apt comparison. Well done!

Unknown said...

Ellen the handler doing yet another humiliation ritual.