Monday, October 15, 2018

Let's Get Aero!!!

Hey everybody!  Here's a new Outside column about banning aerobars that you should of course take 100% literally:


Sick posish, bro.

Also, this weekend I found this awesome new bike shop:


They had awesome accessories like this valve-mounted lighting system:


This fantastic iPhone mounting system for recumbents:


And this toolkit that's perfect for the tiny fasteners on today's lightweight components and that fits easily in your saddlebag or tool roll:


They even had tubeless sealant!


I'm pleased to report that I left with all of the above items, as well as several pillows and novelty mugs with flatulence-themed slogans printed on them.

Anyway, be sure to check it out if there's one near you.

34 comments:

Schisthead said...

Mermaid slimygloop, perfect for on-the-go amphibious biek-cyclers.

Pelon said...

Podium! Now looking forward to aero reading the outside column with my new hands free phone holder. Thanks tenovo!

Anonymous said...

Podio?

Don't worry - even without aerobars, there's still the potential for disaster as the tridorks migrate to "puppy paws" as Carlton Kirby is so fond of calling it.

Watty said...

You're up early today. Great Outside piece, as usual!

Thomas Watterson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kevin Miller said...

Almost thought of aerobars, those are candy bars right? Pudgy belly, pudgy butt sticking in the air, not pretty

STG said...

Aerobars are definitely a burden. While the sensation of speed you get from riding them is can be exhilarating, in most real road settings the instability from the aero position can be a fun suck. That and on a properly fitted TT-bike the sit-up-and-beg position on the bullhorns is not that great either for climbing or descending, or braking, or anything.

I kinda wish that they would be a pro-only item, it sucks to be put out of contention in an amateur stage race because you can't fit twice the number of bikes in the back of a shared rental car.

Only Monday and I'm already freakin' out said...

Snobby's excellent Outside article just launched my weird thought for the day:

What if everything we wore - everything - were aero?

Like my business suit, or my lunch box, briefcase, my dog's collar? Kid's sneakers?

My tuna salad on rye?

You may now resume your regularly scheduled programming.

Should Not Take a Rocket Scientist to Figure This One Out... said...

"iPhone mounting system"

Unknown said...

Aerobars don't hurt people... people hurt people

pbateman should eat less ice cream said...

so, i take care of an older mother...this is not a mom joke, i mean my own actual mother. she's old, and i have to take care of her. which is a lot of work considering i have to care for your mom's needs too.

anyway, she loves to hoard containers. particularly those fancy ice cream containers which allows her to further hoard other bullshit as she puts whatever she's hoarding into the container.

she has at least a few random bike lights being stored in these fancy ice cream containers (i bought her an adult tricycle a few year's back) and she has a couple of those valve stem lights in containers.

i didn't realize that's what they were. but now i know thanks to the investigative journalism Snob provides.

Snob, will you investigate as to why my mother has so many bike lights and why they are in containers vs being on the actual bike?

since you no longer provide footage of triathlete/aero bar people crashing, here is footage of a fellow, who in no conceivable way, could have predicted this gigantic truck making a turn. no f'in way anyone could see that coming:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WP_vu6Lav28





Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

First they came for the aerobars, and I said nothing,

Then they came for the brakeless fixies, and I said nothing,

...


vsk

Anonymous said...

Perhaps mount the bump stock in place of the tri-saddle.

HDEB said...

The best thing about aerobars are the yoyo's that came with Syntace bars around the turn of the century : )

Il Pirata est Mort said...

I've had aerobars on my roadbikes since the late '80's. They are great in a headwind, great for lower back pain relief, and great for ulner nerve hand pain. I have never raced in a sanctioned event, I never hit a pedestrian while on aerobars, and I never plan on turning in my aerobars. AYHSMAB!

Grump said...

Multi-use bike paths aren't the place to do your training. If that is all you have around you, you should either drive somewhere, with your bike, or just move.

Anonymous said...

Scranus

bad boy of the south said...

Do aerobars work on mountain bikecycles?

Pist Off said...

As an avid pathlete and aero bar enthusiast, I resent your meddling ways. Ever wonder how one could ride with a trenchcoat and maintain their Strava averages? With aero bars, that’s how.

Doc Sarvis said...

If we really wanted to be aero wouldn't we ride recumbents?

jnyyz said...

As one of the volunteers that helps run the event where we run human powered suppositories down a highway (WHPSC) I am disappointed that you confused us with the event at Bonneville where a person was towed behind a truck.

JLRB said...

If we ban aerobars only criminals will have aerobars

Alternative - make everyone use aerobars

Schisthead said...

I'd like to think that some day there will be biking renaissance festivals where the aero bar riders will be like the jousters.

Dangerous, expensive, and accident prone.
But entertaining.

JLRB said...

ps - I take everything you write seriously and literally.

bad boy of the south said...

Lookin' at antiquey photos...some mtn bikecycles had aerobars.what for,i have no clue.

BamaPhred said...

Oddly enough I thought Aerobars were for hanging your shopping bags.

pbateman misses his homemade bmx's trails and possibly grew up in the 80's said...

i keep seeing the ads for these guys in case anyone is looking to play army while bike riding.

https://www.terranosystems.com/

playing army is the only other time i recall needing a headset to chat with anyone while doing recreational activities. i also ride alone, so maybe if i were part of a cool bike team, i'd see the point and purpose.

i had a cool G.I. Joe brand walky talky set we used to play with while playing army. shot a lot Cobra's henchmen back then. Also whipped the hell out of some foes of the ninja turtles since ninja turtles and gi joes were obviously ally forces.

we also road bmx on cool trails and made like neat jumps and birms and such in the woods.

Snob, you have offspring with bikey aspirations....no bmx rides for the junior snobs? bmx is still pretty rad bro.

Matt said...

If you just mount two bump-stocks to your handlebars in lieu of aerobars, you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone so to speak...I mean, if you're going to be dangerous, then don't do half measures...go big or stay home. Just sayin. Damn...that's just plain crazy, and now somebody will do just that, and it will be my fault. Then the FBI and ATF and MADD (never sure who does what these days, but rest assured it would be ONE of those 3 letter departments) will do the super-online-search of ALL online content, and find that yes, it was me who FIRST suggested it, and show up at my house to take me away, holding me responsible. I'd probably be in Gitmo before my wife could say "Hello....whos there?" I wonder if they'd let me bring my mt bike. Probably not in retrospective. Water-boarding and mt biking just don't mix. But I DO have dick-brakes..so if there was water-boarding involved I'd still have excellent stopping power. That's good to know.

tubasti said...

Because, if the UCI bans aerobars for its own events, the triathletes will go faster, and we certainly can't have dorks in aero singlets, short shorts, and no socks going faster than Rohan fuckin' Dennis.

Matt said...

Oh...and that illustration of your aero-bar dude...my little bro has a pic from Death ride oh-so-many-years-ago coming down one of the passes is almost that exact position (and he didn't even have aero bars!) Back then I guess it was the thing to get way out over your front wheel for some reason. My back and neck hurt just looking at his pic!

Hee Haw the barista said...

It's legal Wednesday weed Wednesday up here in Murica's frontal cortex.

Anonymous said...

Mission Accomplised: https://forum.slowtwitch.com/forum/Slowtwitch_Forums_C1/Triathlon_Forum_F1/In_other_news...Outside_Magazine_article_wants_to_ban_Aerobars..._P6767865/

ITALO SLEAZE said...

Have any of my comments ever been moderated?

ITALO SLEAZE said...

I am not ever going to read your comment. Yes you. I know you think I will. Keep moving pal.